I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters
In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels
d e v o n

bliss lane
Sade Olutola
hello vonnie

blake kathryn
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Keni

izzy's playlists!
Fai_Ryy
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
occasionally subtle
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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Cosimo Galluzzi

Jimmy Eat World

Love Begins

PR's Tumblrdome
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@kittycat2013
I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters
In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels
Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.
Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.
Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.
"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you
Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data
republicans: homeless people should be ground into sausage and fed to schoolchildren
democrats: persons experiencing houselessness should be ground into sausage and fed to schoolchildren
this post posits a utopian world where either of these parties would support feeding schoolchildren, making it a masterclass in "hopepunk"
My gender is Homosexula
And they’re all Vlad
and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team
HEREDITARY (2018) dir. Ari Aster
THE WITCH (2015) dir. Robert Eggers
idea: humans are space orcs-type story but it's like. alien tech runs on quantum particles, which means it stops working the second a human looks at it and collapses them into a single state.
Alien: Jerry those power cells are supposed to last for months, there's no way this ship has gone through five this week!
Human Jerry: idk what to tell you, man. *glances at another power cell and it immediately shuts off*
Alien: what the fuck, Jerry
Imagine you meet an alien that's entirely blood and fat. Like all the white blood cells and red blood cells and lipids kept in your body are just out there. That's their entire body, a blob of blood jelly. Even their brain is completely fluid. They constantly forget things and don't seem to notice the connection
They see electricity, the same electricity of your brain. If something is not charged they can't see anything at all, and a room of non-conductive objects would be a complete sensory deprecation chamber. They can see a little bit, but they are nearly blind and only use it to notice sudden changes. If you flash a light at them they scream. Instead they just bring a device that generates a charge everywhere they go. They claim their whole planet is charged, but you have doubts
This apparently allows them to see secrets of the universe. They knew about the big bang through out their entire history, because they can apparently just see the beginning of the universe. They find it beautiful, but not all that interesting. You are jealous
Despite being in space, they have not yet discovered steel or had the industrial revolution. It's basically still alchemists and philosophers, but the alchemy and philosophy works and got them to space. You are no longer jealous
They rely on the temperature being way below 40 degrees Fahrenheit so all the fat stays solid and frozen, and die if it's warm. They consider you burning
They get all their energy from air, like eating, to the point they cannot hold their breath at all. They get other things from food, but refuse to prepare it aside from digestion. They just plop it in basically untouched
They age in dog years, dying a few months after turning 9, and only reach adulthood at age 4. That's an absurd amount of time to spend as a child. The one you met is apparently 5 and considers himself a mature adult. The tantrums say otherwise. Yes, he also has arcane knowledge naturally. You are more surprised they live this long considering everything else about them
They have 4 genders and assigned you one, maybe randomly. Kind of rude, apparently very complex, but they have no idea how to explain it. You aren't asking
You are an Eridian and have just met a human. You must now convince your mate to let you keep them.
OH MY GOD. MY STRATTLAND FIC WAS JUST INCLUDED IN SOMEONES FIC RECS ON TIKTOK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What sucks about writing fan fiction is updating a new chapter and then seeing the subscription count go down. I get it, don’t like don’t read and all.
But then I got 4 more subs to it so it’s all good.
TODAY IT’S A GREAT DAY BECAUSE IT’S MARCH 15th THE DAY WHEN DENZEL CROCKER LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND IT’S ALSO ANNOY SQUIDWARD DAY
It’s also the day Marty McFly’s dad is murdered in the bad timeline
wow this is just a bad date in fiction
It’s the fucking Ides of March people. Todays the day Julius Caesar was stabbed like 23 times
GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
This is the first time in my life when it's actually fair to criticize the President for gas prices. I've spent so many years explaining to people that Presidents have pretty limited influence over the price of oil and that they do not have a magical lower-gas-prices button on their desk, I almost forgot that the President does actually have a raise-gas-prices button on their desk called "start a war with Iran for no reason"
BOYS NIGHT, 15th March, Senate! bring your own booze! remember what happens in the senate stays in the senate ;). BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT
When did gas prices go to tutoring and hit that B- average?
I need that “at risk of retention” gas please.