simon riley × fem reader (wife)
I was gonna make it a break up but I thought I could make it a bit more realistic so don't come at me :-)
Also I wanted to end it in this part but it was gonna be too long if I ended it here so maybe there will be just a part 3
Anyway hope you like this part (^^)
(another little thing: I didn't mention any babies in part 1 but I thought I should give them a baby really to make it more reasoning for this part so reader and Simon have a little baby okay.. but it wasn't necessary before)
....….................................................
you were folding some of your clothes in the bedroom, it has been four days since that confession, and now y/n is just back here like nothing happened. Yes he has been sleeping on the couch in the living room but she is still back in their house, the house they built together. Every time her gaze falls on any corner in that house, memories rush to her mind, happy moments, sad moments, argument moments… it was home.. But now it feels foreign.. Not the same place she knows, not the same place she felt comfortable in, not the place she wanted to decorate most of the time, to make it look better. Now she just feels so empty like a shell thrown on the shore away from the sea water, the cruel waves kicked her out of the water she loved.
“All men are like this, just live for your kid” that sentence keeps repeating in her head, like a broken record, replaying again and again…
On that confession night at 12:30 after midnight, she locked herself in the bedroom with her small baby, crying and crying until there were no more tears coming out of her eyes, but she still felt so damaged and broken, looking beside her at the roses he sent while on deployment without an occasion, now she understands why he sent them, he was guilty, that is all…
The red petals are dry, so dry, their fresh red color is fading, and they are slowly falling on the surface of the nightstand beside the bed…
Her little baby daughter is still crying.. Like she feels her mother's broken heart, crying for her sadness, y/n doesnt know how to calm down and stop her heart from bleeding nor how to calm her little girl down… it feels black not even blue… so she just kept crying with her .. Will this horrible night end?!... Is it all a horrible nightmare?...
After about half an hour of this bleak time, y/n decides to leave, she can’t take this anymore, she feels so disgusted at her unfaithful husband simon riley..
She gets up, her body feeling heavy, and first before anything feeding her crying baby girl to make her calm down and not cry anymore… and she gathers some of her stuff and holds her baby up in one arm and a small bag in the other hand, taking a deep breath before going out.. hoping that he isn't outside...
Slowly opening the bedroom's door, taking a peek outside to see where simon is, 'cause she doen't wanna see him… she thanks god that he isn't out there, and she doesn't care where he is really, she quickly takes some necessary stuff for the baby and wears her sneakers and leaves that dark house….
Takes a taxi to her mom’s house, she really needs her right now, she wants any kind of support, and her mother’s embrace is gonna be the best thing ever to gaher her broken pieces together….
“What happenned?” her mom says softly… “what did he do? Why are you back with your baby and you look horrible?”... “speak to me.. Iam getting more worried..” her mom was so concerned… she knew that something big happened making her daughter come to her this late at night..
Y/n sighs tiryingly, thinking if she should tell her mom about the whole thing…
“Nothing, I just don't wanna see his face ever again..” says so quietly with a tired heart..
“What?... you dont wanna see simon?!... are you for real?..” her mom can't believe her ears… her daughter was always so in love with him.. She is sure that something big happened .. She looks carefully at her dead looking daughter y/n… she sees her puffy red eyes from crying, her pale face…
“He is seeing someone?..” her mom said so calmly like she wasn't even asking, it is a statement…
She can't believe that her mom guessed it so quickly.. She looks at her… confused “how did you know?” .. “did he look so unloyal? Was I so stupid?.. Mom” she couldnt help but shed a few tears.. Her mother felt so sad for seeing her collapsing like this… hugging her tightly..
“I can't, i dont wanna live anymore in this world, i wish i was never even born… i did everything i can, i tried to be good at everything… where did i go wrong?..”
“It is not your fault and you know it… you did nothing wrong, you are the best, you are my daughter..”
“Then why?... why did he do that?... i feel so mad, i don't wanna see his face, i hate him… i don't wanna look at his face again… he fooled me… i was so dumb..” sobbing more..
“Calm down my dear.. Just cry it out… vent it all out.. Lighten your heart… I'm here..”
(i dont remember for how long i cried, i just cried and cried like a baby in my mom's arms… i didnt feel anything after that nor even remember what happened exactly after that……)
She finished folding the clothes … then she got up and went to the kitchen to drink some water and refresh herself… she doen't know what to do anymore… but she can't ignore what her mom said a few days ago..
“Mom!.. What are you saying?.. Should I just stay with him like nothing happened?... do you-”
“I know… i know it's hard and you feel so mad and disgusted… but… let's be realistic okay?..”
“Realistic!... oh so i should just ignore what happened and stick with him like he didn't do anything…”
“Like he didn't see someone else.. Like he did touch someone else while I was here alone, taking care of my child alone… he was just doing that thing!... that. he touched someone else.. He .. he just loved someone else….”
“Calm down… i know what iam saying is frustrating , but i dont want you to be like me… i dont your child to not have his parents together… think about your kid… remember how you felt when your father left…”
“I remember how I felt.. But you know how it feels to be betrayed… how come you are telling me to not get a divorce!.. I dont understand you.. Mom.. I imagine how he was with her.. Was I nothing?... he just kissed her, said the same things to her.. ” tears welling up in her eyes… she feels like a broken faucet… tears driping all the time…
“Iam telling you to not do it, because i know how it feels… but every time i felt i needed someone with me to take care of you and your sister.. I wished to not be alone at that time…” her mom said..
“It is your decision but i think you should give him a chance… give another chance to that home you built… don't just let it all down… for some other woman... Don't let her take your place".... "and at the end of the day it's your choice…”
The front door opening woke her up to the present… she saw simon coming in through the door, she felt like throwing up the moment she looked at his face, and she looked back at the kettle …
He felt awkward, she used to welcome him every time he came back no matter where he went, even if it was down the street… but it feels strange now, the mood is so gloomy… like he is a guest coming for a short visit and should leave… he wants to make it better.. To solve this…
“Hey..” he says gently.. Looking at her back… he wants to get closer.. To feel her .. "I went to the store to buy some diapers for lily"
She didnt answer him.. Not even looking his way.. Like he was nothing..
He sighed and approached her a bit.. He stopped at the entrance of the kitchen, he doen't dare to get closer.. To enter her space… she has already closed the door of that unseen space…
“Can you at least answer me.. y/n” his voice was tired.. He couldn’t sleep for the last few days… feeling so grossed at himself.. He doesn't understand what he did himself…
“At least get mad… dont just be silent..”
“What do you want me to say?...” .. “I told you I'm only here for my child… I'm not here to fix anything..” she snaps at him… her voice raising a bit.. but her tone is still firm...
“I know that… but since I picked you up from your mom's house, you didnt say anything… and why not fix it… i will-” he is so desperate..
“I don't want anything from you… i don't even wanna see your face…” y/n says angrily…not caring about hurting his feelings like before.. she actually wanna hurt him… she wanna make him feel more horrible.. more desperate..
“I'm sorry..” he just aplogized quietly.. Making her more mad…
“I don't wanna hear it… it won't change anything…”
“Maybe if you talked.. Let it out on me….” he begs her.. he doesn't mind if she even threw anything at him.. he knows that what he did will never be forgiven especially from her.. but he still hopes a bit...
“I said stop talking to me…”
“y/n… I'm not gonna stop, I will try until you talk…” it's like he is provoking her more...
“You want me to talk!... fine.. I hate you and i feel so disgusted every time i see your face… i wish that i take all the years i wasted on you back… i wish i didn't marry you… i wish i didn't have a kid with you… i really will never ever forgive you…. I ..” she snapped again… letting lots of things out of her heart…
Simon didn't say anything back, he just listened to her.. He knows he made a huge mistake but will do anything to fix this…
And she continues “I gave you everything… all of me.. I tried and tried… I learned how to cook to make a warm meal for you and make you feel at home… I ignored how cold you get sometimes… ignored how lonely and tired i was .. all alone most of the time.. But I stayed loyal… I took care of my kid all alone… I worked hard to make this relationship work… i put my trust in you, told you all my fears ,and even though i told you i don't trust men because of my dad and you just… you..”
“I'm sorry..” he said with a so quiet tone, like he was scared to mess it up more… he doesn't know what to say... Just feeling more ashamed..
“I don't wanna hear your apology…” said quietly as she wiped her tears... she didn't want to cry in front of him...
he tried getting closer to her.. he wanted to hold her close... he really hoped she would forgive him... he really wanted them to go back to how it was.. to how warm she was.. to how happy she was... not like this...
she felt his arms around her... making her feel more broken... but it all fell down already, she can't just accept his hug like before...
he expected it when she pushed his arms away from her... walking out of the kitchen with one last sentence... "Don't get close to me.."
with this chaotic encounter, she goes to the bedroom and smacks the door behind her, locking it... she hates it so much... hates seeing his face.. hates his voice.. how did that woman look like.. how could he touch someone else.. this is driving her crazy... and what is driving her crazy more is how she can't cut it all and end it for good... what should she really do?... should she just let go and walk away from him?... or stay and give this a chance?... she does need help.. and needs time too... her emotions and feelings are all over the place...
