The Rest of How Life is Going
So I guess what I just wrote was a little introspective and beyond myself, but to put it simply -- TLDR: the days have been indescribably wonderful and the future will be even more.
In the past day, I met a woman who's very interesting, at least in the conversations we've had so far. She's goofy, geeky, a gamer, and creative. Overall just pure fun. As I said in the post before, although I'm tempted to start investing tons of time into talking to and trying to impress her, I know right now it's time to focus on me and if love is love, then love is love. Let it simmer gently instead of constantly removing the lid to see if it's ready. It will be ready, but I have to trust it and let it do the thing (ya, I keep quoting Varrick today).
In the past week, I've met 2 composers, heard of a potential 3rd, ran into a group of friends from school interested in collaborating, and have been designing with another group of friends, bouncing ideas around and growing them into something feasibly popular for the marketplace. Aside from all the meetings of serendipity, I've had a burst of creativity and seem to have a new and interesting game concept everyday (which is filling my idea book so much that I might not make it to the end of the year).
In the past month I've become a co-organizer for a meetup group called the Experiential Design Guild, meeting mentors and friends who are savvy in design and who have taught me so much in so little time. In being part of the group, I've reconnected with my roots as a residential assistant in college (Oakes!), getting opportunities to create events, build a community, and make life-long, passionate friends in the process.
In the past two months, I traveled around the country of Japan -- visiting the land where my ancestry came from, meeting the many family members still living there today, seeing the atomic bomb memorial dome in Hiroshima (reminding me of the play I wrote -- A Bomb in Nations of Japan), and touring the country with a tour bus of elders, absorbing their insight and evolving more out of my shell in lands abroad.
In the past four months, I met a woman, fell in love with her, and was heart broken when it ended all too quickly. It was one of the biggest low points of my life, but with which led me to a more spiritual path and guided me to meet certain people that I felt I was destined to. In that time, I also went on my 23rd consecutive year of family camping where the family bonded and became closer when an Uncle organized an open discussion after a potentially racist campground host was giving us a hard time. He encouraged every member of the family to share our opinions and to be open and trusting of each other's opinions, which in turn enabled him to reveal a story that haunted his past and together the tears flowed collectively as a family, supportive and releasing and life-changing.
In the past eight months, I started collaborating on a game project (Project Gandhi) with one of my best friends and he helped me find my creative spark, unleashing endless potential that surprised me as a week of work turned into an amazingly detailed prototype. In that collaboration, we quickly found it wasn't the right time to work together, but the communication has been on-going since and we've been Skyping almost every week for 9 months to keep each other on track and have a supportive space to discuss our inner emotions with someone we trust and love.
In the past ten months, I started my first prototype. And then my second. And then my third. And then probably my fourth. I don't remember exactly how many, but I was making and creating. I was lonely and solo, but I was learning and trying to follow my dream in any way I could, teaching me what I was capable of alone and what I would need help with down the road. It was the grindy, 'I don't know what I'm doing' phase, but it was necessary to where I am today.
Starting on January 1st, 2014 of this year, I decided to try my luck as an indie game designer. I initially didn't know what I was doing, but with the freedom to experiment, test ideas, and have creative control, it's all finally coming full circle.
I never doubted my independent career path as the year went on, but I did faltered at times, wondering if I might have to put my creativeness on hold to 'get money to survive'. Meaning getting a job I probably wouldn't have liked and putting my passions on hold to 'get money' to pursue my passions.
But I said forget it, and just kept chugging along with the bit of savings I had left. I came to believe that money enables getting 'stuff', but not necessarily happiness. Especially not the happiness and joy that making my own games would bring me.
So even with almost no savings left, no games released, and nothing really to show for my year, I can say without a doubt that it was one hell of a ride that was worth every penny (literally or figuratively). Just because I'm not there yet doesn't mean I'm not going to be there soon.
A few months ago I couldn't see it yet. I was still on a journey towards something incomprehensible. But now I can see it. I can feel it. I can taste it. My dream future is right there in front of me and the pieces are all falling into place.
In the future month, I can see a game design blog fully functional with people following its content everyday. Building a reputation for analysis and design philosophy while giving the people what they want to read.
In the future two months, I can see my first release -- be that a first version of Project Gandhi to encourage communication and cooperative play or the frog game that's going to hit 20,000+ downloads on the app store marketplace for a dollar a pop, setting me up nicely for the rest of the year to travel and explore the US.
In the future four months, I can see my second release -- whichever of the two above wasn't yet finished, plus a probable prototype for Domino Fighters, maybe a Kickstarter in the works or one that's already finished and with just publishing, art, and tweaking to get my first physical game out to the public as well. I don't feel I'll have a company set in stone yet, but it's been discussed and logistics are being figured out so a game studio I lead can become reality.
In the future six months, I feel Story Saga will be kickstarted for iOS, Android, Browser, and PC / Mac. It might have some issues still to be resolved, but the core gameplay will be good to go by then and the story elements will be something mildly innovative that will start new approaches to storytelling in games through effective random generation. That's all I feel. It must be a busy month.
In the future 8 months, I feel I'll make it to my 24th consecutive year of Otoshi camping, just one more year from my milestone goal of 25 consecutive years. There I'll finally have a lady friend to bring, even if she's not the one I'll be with down the road. Maybe just a close friend this year, but someone the family will appreciate and someone who will appreciate the family. I can already think of a few potentials, but I'm sure I'll meet more people along the way. I also sense some traveling around October, which isn't in the 8 month period, but will happen shortly after. Maybe a 3 week trip to hostels around the US, perhaps on the east coast. Seeing Paul in New York city to celebrate after our first 6 months yielded profitable ventures in our respective disciplines and hopefully seeing the singing sad clown on Broadway.
In the future 12 months, I'll have established my place in the Experiential Design Guild as a leader of the games scene in San Francisco, organizing collaboration spaces and helping with local game jams and helping people come together to spread their passions with each other. Through this, I'll meet some more collaborators for my own ventures as well and I'll finish the year off with another game from the list now that I've had a few releases and have built a team of game design warriors who are ready to tackle anything and everything thrown their way. At the 12 month period, I'll also be sitting exactly where I am right now, reflecting on the year, reminiscing on the ups and downs, and letting my intuition guide my next year. Nothing set in stone, but just what the gut beyond my intellect says. Then to celebrate a wonderful holiday season. Maybe by then I'll have my own apartment somewhere and can have a little party with all the games I created over the year. That and plenty of pictures to document everything. This will be a year of photos and smiles and adventures and success and growth. And, and, and. So many ands.
With that, I don't know where I'll be tomorrow as life changes courses quickly, but I'm here to enjoy the ride while the seas are smooth and the sails full.
Good night my friends, you're all wonderful and amazing and talented and special and unique. Believe in your gifts and share what you love with the world. Maybe one day we'll cross paths and create something even greater than the sum of our whole. And maybe not, but I'll still be supporting you from the sidelines and believe together we can leave our positive mark on this world we all share~
