Slackjaw poser

[ampervadasz]

[masterkfox]

my two brain cells

[vigilantsycamore]

This is what executive dysfunction looks like

[a-book-of-creatures]

Inside you there are two hamsters…

[maelwife]

In the bathroom and cascada every time we touch just came on and the girl in the stall next to me was like oh my god this is my song and started peeing harder

[lakevida]

god remember when there were no ads AND you could post dick on here. take me back i'll be grateful this time

[trezvennik]

is this talking about tumblr or the internet in general

[lakevida]

allrecipes.com

[inward]

he got owned and couldnt handle it

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

feel like ppl are getting meaner and it's weird to see

[6fft4-deactivated20240911]

how do you mean

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

bro forget this post for a second - i opened this app today at 9am and the first post i saw was you reblogging some horny shit about “sliding in and stretching her real good”. 9am on a wednesday. what was that all about?

[dogpuppy]

[hungwy]

*strapped to a chair, staring at a screen*

Me: uhhh... white shirt

*I flail in my restraints as electric shocks race through my body*

Intercom: the oversized beige cowboy snoopy shirt was optimal for this outfit. next.

*screen changes*

Me: uhh... ummm... baseball cap

Intercom: which one?

Me: uhhh... Plain black one

*I'm zapped again, longer this time*

Intercom: the denim snoopy baseball cap was optimal for this outfit. Remember, three times in a row and you will fail the test. next.

*screen changes*

Me: *squinting through the sweat dripping into my eyes* D-dress shirt with a little snoopy over the pocket?

Intercom: good. The embroidered snoopy dress shirt shows you mean business but in a fun, approachable way. Next.

[wifehaver103947]

Awhoahh idid not know this

[wifehaver103947]

[delmondo]

crazy rich asians 2: the blood never stops spilling

[delmondo]

crazy rich asians 3: bullets become ash in the chamber

[lakevida]

so just because i ahve a rare and incurable condition where i can only understand human suffering thru the lens of showtunes and cartoons aimed at preteens means my posts about labor disputes aren't insightful? tch [turns on my heel and like five pins fall off my little backpack with nothing inside except the leather journal i'm writing my fantasy novel in] [turns back around immediately] so yeah it's sort of a chaotic found family story and it's like really wholesome but feral AF and there's a lot of queer representation

[larkandkatydid]

It’s cool how we found the secret elixir that cures all human disease and it’s in this guy’s bitey little mouth

[larkandkatydid]

What this guy’s bitey little mouth has been recently up to:

[sauriansolutions]

This is why scientists study everything.

[mikkeneko]

Put this picture in your pocket, next time you get into an argument with someone about 'useless' scientific studies, ask them "Do you think that we should give funding to study the mating habits of endangered iguanas in the Sonoran desert, or should we be funding cures for alzheimer's and diabetes?" and then when they say "Of course we should be using that money to fund cures!" you can whip out this picture and say "trick question, it's the same thing"

[bruzum]

[digitalhitchhiker]

[segamascott]

[formerlymaustown]

[charl0ttan]

can you imagine having a small dick and going to buy your Gay Water and the box tells you youre racist