𝜗 kiss ৎ

洛恩 : 阿那克萨戈拉斯

[kleinflx]

@ KISS , CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET ?

- asian esfp 7w6 Ი𐑼 failkiss on tiktok

02:10 : masterlist 🐰 unilock formulablue

REQUESTS : closed

✉️ : this is my journal and the fanfics just come

along with it .

— have basic decency . do not reupload, translate, or feed my work to ai, thank you .

[kleinflx]

sae says happy pride month

[kleinflx]

hii

i just wanna ask if you would make a part 2 of the Rin x reader wonderwall fic

it hurt my heart so bad i really want a part 2 where reader and Rin gets back together and live happily ever after

if you dont want to make it its fine, part 1 was really good and its enough but i cant help but be greedy for a part 2 :>

if you do wanna make a part 2 you can take however long you want because i know your requests are closed

thank youuu^^

HI ANON .. so im really sorry but i dont do part twos …

if i ever feel like it, id probably write you a drabble at most but 99% of the time i never do write a second part ..

thank you so much for reading though and im glad you liked it! it’s probably one of my proudest works at the moment 🤍

[kleinflx]

Sleep with one eye open

uuurrmmm uuuhhmm mmmm n. nhhmmm uuhhhn hhhnnnn no

[kleinflx]

A SONG TO OUR DEATH — i . rin : listen to wonderwall by oasis while reading ! wc : 3k

the first time you met rin itoshi, he looked like he wanted the world to leave him alone.

you didn’t know who he was.

you didn’t know he had just lost a game because of a mistake he made, or that he had teammates that were probably searching every corner of the stadium for him.

you didn’t know that all week, all month, all year, soccer had felt heavier than it ever had before.

all you knew was that you were lost. away from the city, away from everything, and you didn’t know how to get back.

your phone had died somewhere along the way, and every street looked identical. after nearly twenty minutes of walking in circles, you spotted someone sitting alone near the side of the stadium.

he looked local. he looked miserable, but he still looked like a local. so you approached him anyway.

“um.. excuse me?” no response from him. “hi?” slowly, his eyes lifted.

for a second, neither of you spoke. there was something strange about him. it wasn’t anger or annoyance, he just looked sad.

the kind of sadness that settled deep into a person and refused to leave.

“do you know where the station is?” you asked.

he pointed vaguely, “that way…” he muttered.

you looked. “uhm. that tells me absolutely nothing.”

he sighs, “just walk straight.”

“straight where?”

“straight.”

you stared for a long while before laughing. the sound immediately made him look away.

you didn’t know it, but it had been a while since he’d heard someone laugh around him like that.

‘there are many things that i would like to say to you’

the conversation should’ve ended there. you got your directions and he got his peace. but instead, you stayed.

the questions kept coming, about the area, about japan. all random things neither of you cared about.

rin answered most of them with one or two words. you answered your own questions half the time.

but still, neither of you left.

and when you finally checked the time, nearly half an hour had passed.

“i should go,” you said.

“okay.”

“thanks for helping rin!”

“sure.”

you took a step away, but stopped. something didn’t feel right, like you had forgotten to do something important.

“can i have your number?”

rin only blinked. neither of you seemed entirely sure why you’d asked. yet a few minutes later, you walked away with his contact saved in your phone.

rin stared at your profile after you left. you sent him a photo for him to put it on your contact. he stared even more.

eventually, he locked his phone. for the first time that day, he didn’t think about soccer. he didn’t know if he deserved to be distracted, but he could admit that he needed it.

the messages started that night and never really stopped after.

at first, talking to rin felt like trying to hold a conversation with a wall. his replies were short, painfully short.

you’d send three paragraphs and receive an ‘okay’ or ‘yeah’ maybe if you were lucky, he’d say ‘lol’

you complained about it constantly.

you : rin. you’re a terrible texter.

rin : i know.

you : fix it!

rin : no.

months passed, and slowly, the messages got longer. it wasn’t much but it was definitely improvement.

you learned that rin stayed awake later than he should. that he hated losing more than anything. that he liked listening to you talk even when he pretended otherwise.

some nights he’d call and say nothing at all. you’d end up talking about your day while he listened quietly.

“are you even paying attention?” a pause, “rin?”

“yeah.”

“you sure? what did i just say?”

“you dropped your drink, blamed your friend, then bought another one.”

“okay. you’re right whatever.”

somewhere along the way, you two just stopped being strangers. you became important.

‘but i don’t know how’

the confession was absolutely awful.

you spent days preparing for it, you practiced in front of a mirror, rehearsed possible outcomes. you imagined every scenario except the one that actually happened.

“rin— i like you.” you immediately wanted to disappear.

on the other end of the call, rin sat frozen. “okay.”

you stared at your phone. “huh..? what does that mean?”

“what?”

“what do you mean what?”

“i don’t understand the question.” you nearly screamed.

“rin, i’m confessing— like.” you start to panic, “i like you and want to date you kinda thing—“

“…i know that.” his voice quiet.

“you’re supposed to respond.”

“i did?”

“that wasn’t a response.”

another pause.

“i like you too.”

your face burned. it should’ve been romantic. but instead, it sounded like he was reading instructions off a paper.

you started laughing.

“why are you laughing?” he questions, he doesn’t really understand what was going on. or he did but didn’t know what to feel.

“..you’re horrible at this.”

“i agreed? i like you too.”

“you don’t sound happy to like me back.”

“it’s not like that.”

“you sound like someone’s forcing you.” rin only sighed. you laughed even harder.

he sat quietly in his room, listening.

listening to your laughter, to your happiness, to the strange feeling spreading through his chest. it was warm, safe.

rin had spent years chasing victories, years chasing the feeling of being enough. yet somehow, hearing you laugh felt better than winning.

‘because maybe…’

your first date was supposed to start at six. you arrived at five forty-five. early, because you were nervous.

you spent nearly ten minutes fixing your hair in the restaurant bathroom before finally sitting down. every time the door opened, your head immediately turned.

at six, you smiled to yourself, rin was probably on his way.

at six fifteen, you checked your phone. there was nothing.

at six thirty, you checked again. still nothing.

the waiter approached your table with a polite smile.

“would you like to order first?”

“ah.. sorry.. i’m waiting for someone.”

they only nodded before walking away. you stared at the empty seat across from you. for some reason, it suddenly felt much bigger.

at seven o’clock, your food still hadn’t arrived because you refused to order without him.

you told yourself there had to be a reason, rin wasn’t the type to stand someone up. right?

but the silence was becoming harder to ignore. you sent a message,

you : rin i’m here.

you : just wondering when you’ll arrive.

you : are you on your way?

the thoughts started coming naturally after that. maybe he forgot, maybe something happened, maybe he changed his mind.

did he finally realize that dating you wasn’t worth the trouble? you hated how quickly your brain turned against you.

the restaurant slowly emptied as the night continued. tables that had been full when you arrived were now occupied by new customers, then emptied again.

by the time a staff member approached your table again, your chest already felt heavy.

“i’m very sorry,” she said gently. “we’ll be closing soon.”

you looked around. the restaurant was nearly empty. somehow, three hours had passed.

“oh.” was all you could manage.

you gathered your things quietly and thanked the staff before leaving. the second the cold air hit your face, your eyes burned.

you hated crying, especially over something that might not even be true. but you couldn’t stop.

you had spent months falling for rin, months learning how to understand him when nobody else seemed to. and now it felt like an idiot’s dream.

your vision blurred as you started walking. but suddenly there was a hand wrapped around your wrist.

“wait.” the voice immediately made your heart stop, it was rin. you turned around so quickly you nearly stumbled.

his hair was messy, his breathing uneven, his jacket hung halfway off one shoulder.

for a second, neither of you spoke. then rin stepped closer.

“i’m sorry.” he spoke,

you blink, “what?”

“i’m sorry.” his voice was lower this time. it was more urgent, less controlled. “practice ran late.” you stared at him.

“then there was traffic.” his hand tightened slightly. “phone died.”

you opened your mouth but no words came out. rin looked away for a moment before muttering another apology. then another, and another.

it would’ve been funny if he didn’t look so serious. if he didn’t look genuinely terrified that you wouldn’t forgive him.

“i wasn’t ignoring you.”

your eyes immediately filled with tears again. his expression changed to panic. he was now panicking.

“why are you crying?”

you laughed weakly through the tears. “because i thought you ditched me.”

without thought, without hesitation, “i wouldn’t.”

rin wasn’t someone who said things he didn’t mean. which was exactly why those two words hurt so much. because you believed him, completely.

so when he awkwardly reached toward you and muttered another apology under his breath, you simply stepped forward and hugged him.

for a moment, he froze.

then his arms slowly wrapped around you. and for the first time that night, everything felt okay again.

‘you’re gonna be the one that saves me’

the first time you heard rin laugh was months later. you were trying to recreate a recipe from some cooking show.

according to the television, it was easy. according to reality, it was not.

the recipe looked simple enough when you watched the video. the person making it finished everything in less than ten minutes and somehow managed to look pretty while doing it.

you and rin were struggling after five.

ingredients were scattered across the counter while measurements stopped making sense halfway through. at one point, you accidentally added something twice and neither of you knew how to fix it.

“are we supposed to add this now?” you asked.

“i don’t know.”

“you’re literally reading it.”

“not anymore.”

you turned toward him. “what do you mean not anymore?”

rin shrugged. “we’re both already fucking this up, there’s no need for a recipe.” then you smacked his arm. “ow.”

“hate you.”

eventually, something started burning. you didn’t know what, you weren’t even sure where the smoke was coming from. all you knew was that it definitely wasn’t supposed to happen.

“rinnn… something’s wrong.” he walked over beside you and looked into the pan.

“yeah.”

“yeah?”

“it’s dead.” he said flatly.

you groaned. “our efforts...”

“i told you this was a bad idea.”

you laughed despite yourself. rin’s eyes immediately drifted toward you, they always did.

you never really noticed it but he’d stop whatever he was doing whenever you started talking, his attention constantly followed you around the room without him realizing it.

he wasn’t good at saying what he felt, never had been. but sometimes, looking at you felt easier than speaking.

you grab his wrist and point dramatically toward the pan.

“two hours.”

rin looked. “mhm.”

“for this.”

“mhm.”

“that’s all you have to say?”

finally, he looked at the disaster again. for some reason, the expression on his face cracked. a small smile appeared.

and suddenly, he laughed. a real laugh.

you froze immediately, he froze too. the apartment became strangely quiet after that. he looked away, the tips of his ears turning slightly red told you everything.

“that was cute.”

“[name].”

“it was!”

you laughed again. this time, the corner of his mouth lifted with yours. somehow, that smile felt more rewarding than if the meal had actually turned out right.

you stepped closer without thinking.

“what?”

“nothing.”

he clicked his tongue. “annoying.”

“you like me don’t you?”

“you’re my girlfriend.”

his voice sounded almost irritated, as if the answer should’ve been common sense.

your chest felt warm. “you’re cute.” you whispered.

slowly, he stepped forward, your breath caught. “you sure?” he asked quietly.

he didn’t have to specify what he meant, he already knew you understood. all that remained in the air was something softer, something that belonged only to you.

you nodded.

rin’s hand settled gently against your waist before he leaned down.

the kiss was short. when he pulled away, neither of you spoke for a moment. you could still feel him smiling slightly.

and looking at him then, standing in a messy kitchen beside a meal neither of you could eat, you couldn’t stop thinking about how different he looked from the boy you first met.

‘and after all,’

you always knew it would end eventually.

you never stopped loving rin, he never stopped loving you. life was simply moving forward. and unfortunately, it was moving in different directions.

the first time you brought it up, neither of you were sitting together.

it was one of those calls where the conversation drifted from topic to topic until silence settled comfortably between you.

you mentioned it casually, your flight back home. your future that was waiting for you back home. rin didn’t say much after that.

afterward, the subject became something neither of you touched unless absolutely necessary. it lingered quietly in the background instead.

sometimes you’d catch rin staring at you for a little too long. like he was trying to memorize something, the shape of your smile, the sound of your laugh, the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention.

he never admitted it, he never had to, you already knew.

the closer your departure got, the more time you spent together.

neither of you said it aloud, but it felt like you were both trying to hold onto something that was already slipping away.

you stayed out later, called longer, took more pictures.

created more memories as if enough of them could somehow make leaving hurt less.

you broke up with rin a week before your flight.

you two were just sitting together and finally saying what they’d both known for months. your dreams were waiting for you somewhere else, rin’s were here.

neither of you wanted the other to give them up, that was the cruel part. if either of you loved less, maybe it would’ve been easier.

instead, it hurt. it hurt so much.

you cried first, rin stayed quiet for most of it. his head lowered, listening to your sobs. and when you finally looked up, he was crying too.

you’d never seen that before.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. you simply sat there together, knowing this was the last time you’d ever be like this.

boyfriend and girlfriend, rin and you.

when you finally stood to leave, rin reached for your hand one last time. he held it tightly, afraid that letting go would make everything real.

eventually, though, he loosened his grip, because there was nothing else he could do.

and for the first time since you’d met him, rin looked truly alone again. it was the end.

‘you’re my wonderwall’

rin doesn’t smile much anymore, his teammates noticed it first.

at some point, the version of him that laughed in the kitchen and rolled his eyes at your jokes quietly disappeared. all that remained was the player everyone expected him to be. focused, disciplined, distant.

nobody questioned it.

if anything, people thought he was improving.

he trained longer than before. arrived earlier then left later, every decision revolved around soccer.

the routine was simple.

wake up to have an early jog, eat when he’s hungry, sleep when he needed to, then repeat.

it should’ve been enough. for a while, rin convinced himself that it was. months passed after the breakup, then a year.

life continued moving whether he wanted it to or not. but through all of it, your name remained exactly where it had always been.

pinned at the top of his contacts.

sometimes his thumb would hover over it for a second before he locked his phone again, sometimes he opened the conversation, sometimes he spent far longer there than he intended.

he never deleted anything, not the messages, not the pictures, not the videos. nothing.

it was stupid and he knew it was stupid. yet every time he considered removing them, something stopped him.

maybe because deleting them felt too permanent, like admitting that it was truly over, and rin wasn’t ready for that.

even now, late nights were always the worst. the world became quieter then. just silence with memories.

he remembered your first meeting. the way you’d approached him without knowing who he was, the way you’d laughed when he gave terrible directions.

he remembered your first date, the tears in your eyes when you thought he’d abandoned you. the relief on your face when you realized he hadn’t.

he remembered his old apartment, the burnt food with the stupid recipe you wanted to do. with the kiss that followed.

the memories that shouldn’t have mattered so much, yet they did. sometimes rin wondered what would’ve happened if things had been different.

if you’d stayed, if life had been a little kinder. the thoughts never lasted long. there was no point, the past couldn’t be changed.

one night, after returning from training, rin found himself scrolling through your messages again. the conversation stretched back years ago.

all the way to the beginning. back to the person who was just lost, back to the girl who accidentally found him instead.

his thumb stopped over your profile picture. for a long moment, he simply stared. you looked exactly the same.

frozen in time, untouched by the years that had passed. a small smile appeared before he could stop it. the kind of smile nobody else ever got from him anymore.

it lingered for only a few seconds, then he locked his phone. the smile disappeared but the warmth remained.

because despite everything, the distance and the ending neither of you wanted, rin couldn’t regret loving you.

you had walked into his life when he was at his lowest. when every loss felt permanent, when happiness felt impossible.

and somehow, without even trying, you’d changed him. you taught him how to laugh, how to want things beyond soccer, how to let someone matter.

maybe some people enter your life only long enough to leave a mark that never truly fades. he could just be coping but every other explanation would hurt him either way.

but it doesn’t matter. you’ll always be his wonderwall.

[kleinflx]

awww your actually so cute you look like a sweetie pie😽😽

LOVYUU

[kleinflx]

i just sent my school my proposal to have a literature club as the FUTURE literature club president and if it gets accepted im writinf 3 fluuff ✌️✌️✌️

[kleinflx]

dude u look like a kpop idol!! like gowon from loona specifically 😭😭

HEELPP I DONT SEE IT BUT RHANKYOU 😳😳😏😏

[kleinflx]

kaybe one of u guys want to commission me so i can pay my 9k debt for school hahah

[kleinflx]

Men men men men

whag does this mean

[kleinflx]

YOU WRITE SO GOOD BRUH WHAT THE HELLIM LIKE IN LOVE WITJ YOU

[kleinflx]

Van you write 10 fics a day please kiss I need this I finished your entire masterlist in an hour

LMFAAOO i rhink we BOTH know im too lazy for rhat 😏😏😏😅😅😅😭😭😭😆😆😆

[kleinflx]

A QUESTION THAT LINGERS — k . michael

‘did you like her in the morning?’

the question you’ve been wanting to ask your boyfriend, michael kaiser, had been sitting in your head for weeks now.

you never asked it out loud.

it followed you quietly instead, appearing in the middle of normal moments with your boyfriend. when you were waiting for him to come home, when you were curled up against his chest late at night.

michael kaiser was affectionate in a way that made you overthink for reasons you don’t even know why.

he touched you constantly, his hands on your waist, fingers in your hair during lazy mornings, your legs thrown over his lap while he’d caress it. kaiser made affection feel like it was the most natural thing in the world.

sometimes it made you feel loved. but sometimes it made you wonder if he acted this way with her too.

you hated that thought. you hated her a little too, even though you’d never admit it aloud.

she wasn’t even really gone.

they still saw each other constantly because of work. interviews, campaigns, football circles that always somehow overlapped. she’d appear in photos beside him online every few weeks, smiling easily while your boyfriend stood there with that same unreadable expression he wore around everybody.

people said they ended on good terms. you thought maybe that made everything worse.

there was never anything to point at. no cheating, lying, dramatic story that would justify the feeling in your chest. it was just your own thoughts slowly turning against you.

you remember one of those late night conversations you had with kaiser. you don’t remember the start of it but it eventually started talking about exes.

“i dated someone in high school..“ you muttered into the pillow. “he used to get jealous over literally everything”

michael hummed beside you. “you attract insecure people.”

“that’s rude.” you pause, “you think i have bad taste?”

“well.. anyone you dated before sucked.”

you rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see it.

“what about yours?”

there was a pause after that. “which one.”

“..your last one.” you tried to sound casual asking it.

michael stayed laid back against the headboard, one arm around your waist.

“she was fine.”

that was all he said. you waited for more from him, but he never continued.

a few minutes later he started talking about a match instead, completely unaware that your brain stayed stuck there long after the conversation moved on.

she was fine? you don’t exactly know why that sentence bothered you so bad. you wondered what could that mean. you were able to share so much about your exes, why couldn’t he?

the perfume happened months later.

michael came home late after some sponsor event that happened a few cities away. you had already been half asleep on the couch when he walked in tired.

“liebe, why are you sleeping out here?”

“kaiser..” you rub your eyes, “was waiting for you.”

his expression looked softer after that. you still remembered it clearly. when he leaned down to kiss your forehead. the familiar scent of his cologne.

but underneath it, had something else. it was sweet, floral. familiar.

your stomach dropped before your mind even caught up. because you knew that perfume, you had smelled it before.

it was months ago, near the beginning of your relationship. you remembered standing in his bathroom one morning while getting ready. your toothbrush beside his, your skincare products on the sink.

near the corner of the counter, sat a perfume bottle that didn’t belong to you. you’d picked it up quietly. a pretty bottle, an expensive brand. it wasn’t yours.

michael walked in while you were holding it.

“whose is this?” you asked carefully.

he barely glanced over. “my ex’s.” then continued drying his hair like it was nothing.

you remembered standing there awkwardly, still holding the bottle. “why do you still have it?”

“forgot to throw it away.” you nodded, forcing yourself to understand.

the bottle disappeared a few days later. you noticed but never mentioned it.

but now, sitting beside michael on the couch months later while that same scent clung faintly to his clothes, the memory came back hard enough to make your chest ache.

he didn’t notice your silence. or maybe he did, but just thought you were tired.

“move liebe,” he muttered softly, sinking onto the couch beside you anyway. “i missed you.”

you shifted automatically, letting him pull you against his chest. normally, you would have loved this. being held by michael made everything in your head quieter.

that night, though, all you could think about was whether she smelled like this when he held her too.

michael rested his chin against the top of your head absentmindedly, already starting to doze off. you only stared at the at the cushion while your thoughts were spiraling.

somewhere between his arm around your waist and the perfume still lingering against his collar, the question popped up again.

‘did you like her in the morning?’

you never asked. some part of you thought knowing the answer would hurt less than imagining one, but another part wasn’t so sure.

[kleinflx]

TO LOVE IS TO LET GO — a . keiji

akaashi knew what he was getting into the moment he fell in love with you. he wasn’t childish and looking for something short. he was sure, that when he met you, he wanted all of you. the good and the bad, the sacrifices a relationship requires, and the future he sees with you.

but you weren’t like him. not at all.

you were someone who loved intensely. too much to feel that all the love you receive won’t ever be satisfactory. all the past relationships you’ve experienced felt one-sided only because it’s never enough. how can you say that they love you more when you’d sacrifice yourself for them if they just asked?

so eventually love felt like stupidity. love just turns you into some fool ready to humiliate itself when it goes wrong. you keep people at a distance in fear of developing an attachment, in fear of being in love. yet akaashi broke past through that. in the beginning, you truly believe you have met the one. he was gentle, soft, loving in a way that turned you to the fool you despised the most.

some lovesick idiot who needs akaashi like how a person would need air to breathe.

it didn’t take long for cracks to open, the cracks akaashi had expected and prepared himself. it had started when his important games started to take his time over you.

at first, you tried to be understanding about it. you waited outside your classroom after dismissal while your phone stayed quiet in your hand for longer than you wanted it to. sometimes he’d text ten minutes later apologizing because practice got extended, sometimes thirty, sometimes not until evening.

akaashi always apologized properly too. he never brushed you off or acted annoyed whenever you got upset, always sounding genuinely guilty whenever he explained himself.

he cared so carefully that it made you feel stupid for still being unhappy. if he loved you this much already, why did you still feel lonely?

you hated yourself for thinking that way. volleyball mattered to him long before you did and you knew that better than anyone else. he wasn’t skipping time with you because he wanted to hurt you, he was exhausted, busy, and still trying his best, yet every dismissal without him still lodged itself somewhere painful inside your chest.

eventually you started counting things without meaning to. the number of times you waited outside alone, the amount of cancelled plans, how long his replies took whenever tournaments started piling up. you counted until resentment started growing.

the first real argument happened on an afternoon after he promised he’d walk you to the terminal once practice ended. you had waited nearly forty minutes already, your impatience starting to annoy you when your phone buzzed with another apology.

keiji : i’m sorry love, coach added extra drills :(

you stared at the message for a long moment before replying,

you : oh ok

he called immediately.

“hey,” he said softly, voice already tired. “i’m really sorry.”

“it’s fine.”

“love, you sound upset.”

silence only settled between both of you.

“i’m sorry, i just thought we’d finish earlier.” he murmured after a while.

“you always think that...”

“what do you want me to say?”

the question made your throat tighten painfully because you didn’t know anymore. what you wanted wasn’t something he could answer correctly.

‘don’t get my hopes up anymore.’

‘don’t make plans u can’t follow through.’

instead, you swallowed everything down until it hurt.

“nothing,” you muttered quietly. “forget it.”

“love, please don’t shut down on me.”

“you’re busy.”

you can hear the coach call for akaashi through the phone, wanting him to continue practice.

“i’m trying.” a pause, “i’m sorry again.”

then it was silence, as if he was waiting for you to continue or drop the call.

so you dropped it.

after that, things became a pattern. your emotions would pile up slowly until they spilled over him. you’d tell him you were upset, akaashi would apologize immediately, and somehow his apologies only frustrated you more because they weren’t fixing anything.

“keiji, i miss you.” you whispered once while sitting beside him outside the gym.

akaashi looked up at you immediately. “i’m right here.”

“not really.” you regretted saying it the moment if left your mouth.

“i’m trying to balance everything,” he said carefully.

“..i know that.”

“then why does it feel like nothing i do is enough for you?”

you looked away before he could notice how badly that hurt.

“forget…that i said anything.”

“you always say that.”

“because dragging it out makes it worse.”

akaashi looked exhausted lately, you only started to notice it even more now. the way his shoulders stayed tense whenever arguments started. still, neither of you stopped. instead, you started disappearing whenever things became too overwhelming.

you’d ignore his texts for hours, sometimes days.

you told yourself it was space, that you needed time before saying something awful, but eventually the silence became punishment too.

akaashi never got angry about it either which somehow made the guilt heavier. he’d text asking if he did something wrong, still updated you throughly every single day. and you always came back eventually.

akaashi always forgave you immediately, he’d look relieved before anything else. sometimes you don’t know how to feel about that.

“are we okay now?” he asked one afternoon after you showed up beside him at lunch again.

“akaashi.” he looks at you, a little worried.

you poked at your food quietly. “can we not talk about it anymore?”

he stared at you for a moment before nodding slowly. “okay.”

but it kept happening. again and again until your relationship started feeling fragile in a way neither of you could ignore anymore.

there were still good days though, days where he held your hand under the table during class or kissed your forehead absentmindedly while reading beside you.

days where he looked at you so softly you almost believed everything would survive. those days were worse somehow. because they reminded you what losing him would feel like.

the breakup happened after one of his longest tournaments. you hadn’t seen him properly in almost two weeks and every conversation became rushed texts between practices and bus rides.

you thought you could handle it, he told you in advance multiple times about his schedule. but there was one night where he forgot to reply entirely.

that was your limit.

the next morning he apologized immediately, explaining he passed out after getting home. your reply dry enough for him to notice.

keiji : can we talk after school?

you almost ignored the message, an uneasy feeling growing inside you as you read the text. you didn’t reply. but you still showed up anyway.

akaashi was already waiting near the back stairs where you two usually hid during lunch breaks. his bag sat beside him untouched and the moment you saw his face, you knew it was over.

“hey,” he said quietly.

you stayed standing while he sat there staring at his hands.

“i don’t think we’re happy anymore.”

your chest went cold.

you laughed before you could stop yourself. refusing to even look at him in the eye.

akaashi shut his eyes briefly. “look, i’m sorry but—”

“no, it’s fine. i should’ve known in the first place.”

“no, it’s not like that [name].”

you crossed your arms tighter around yourself. “then what is it?”

“we just hurt each other—“

“yeah right. because i’m too much.”

“i never said that.”

“you didn’t have to.”

akaashi stood up then and you hated how calm he still looked while your chest felt like it was tearing apart.

“i love you,” he said quietly. “and that’s why i’m saying this.”

your were starting to tear up but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at akaashi. you didn’t even know what to say.

“i don’t want to see you hurt because we’re together.”

“sure.” you pause, “this is the easy way out right? i’m not worth fighting for.”

“[name]. no matter what i do lately, we end up here.”

“fine,” you snapped. “go then. i knew this was gonna end badly anyway.”

he flinched. then for the first time in your relationship, akaashi looked frustrated too.

“you keep saying that,” he said, voice finally rising slightly. “every time something hurts you, you act like loving me was some mistake you regret.”

“maybe it was.”

akaashi went very still.

“okay.” he sighs, ruffling his hair in frustration. “we should end this before we hate each other.”

you stared at him desperately waiting for him to take it back, to hold your hand, to reassure you like he always did.

but he didn’t.

he just looked tired enough to choose himself. akaashi picked up his bag slowly, then he left.

you were left standing there, just thinking to yourself how much has changed. how wrong were you to have the softest man be mad at you?

[kleinflx]

AVOIDED — i . rin : snippets of a short lived relationship .

[kleinflx]

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE — i . bunny

when you’re dating bunny iglesias, your life becomes a little ridiculous sometimes.

but that’s mostly because neither of you were technically supposed to be doing it.

for bunny, secrecy came with his career. people online watched everything he did, fans could easily make up stories, and apparently being seen walking beside somebody for too long was enough to start rumors for weeks. he didn’t want to bring you to that life.

and for you, the issue was simpler. your family would actually lose their minds.

which was why you were currently climbing out your bedroom window at one in the morning while trying not to make any noise.

bunny stood underneath with his hood pulled up, hands on your waist helping you get down.

“cmon, a little faster now” he teases,

“try escaping your own house then.”

“i escaped the paparazzi, that counts.”

he laughed quietly under his breath right as your foot slipped slightly against the edge. bunny covered your mouth before you could panic. amusement already sitting in his expression.

“dramatic.” he muttered.

“shut up i don’t do this often!”

“shh, amor. quiet.”

still, he didn’t let go until both your feet safely touched the ground.

his car waited near the curb with the headlights off.

you followed him quickly, paranoid that there might be neighbors watching you at one am. the second you got inside, bunny reached over and pulled your seatbelt across for you.

“thank you.”

“mhm.”

you let out a heavy sigh of relief as you have succeeded, glancing sideways at him. “so. where are we going?”

“ohh. that’s right. i didn’t tell you huh.” he glances at you before starting the car. “—well, worry not amor. you’re still going to have the time of your life.”

you laugh softly, forgetting the consequences of your actions like usual when you’re with bunny. he kisses your cheek before starting to drive, playing music to keep his energy up.

the beach was empty when you arrived. just dark water, cold sand, and the sound of waves crashing somewhere ahead while the city lights flickered faintly behind you.

“i can’t believe you drove this far at two in the morning,” you said while kicking your shoes off.

bunny shrugged. “you said you missed the beach.”

“that was three weeks ago.”

“isn’t it more romantic that i remembered?”

you stare at him, a little flustered after what he said before looking away. bunny takes his shirt off, tossing it to the side as he slowly walks closer to the water. he stops when his feet starts to feel the waves, turning around to you, waiting. you walked closer, taking his hand. smiling to yourself while the cold sand pressed between your toes.

most of the night passed quietly.

you chased each other near the shoreline. bunny splashed water at you first, then acted offended when you retaliated harder. at some point he nearly dropped his phone into the ocean trying to take a blurry picture of you laughing.

“iglesias— delete that!”

“oh no fucking way.”

“i look ugly.”

“you literally don’t.”

you immediately grabbed for his phone while he laughed and held it out of reach.

“let me take another photo.”

“no way. bunny!”

somewhere between chasing each other near the water and bunny almost dropping his phone into the ocean, the two of you ended up sitting in the sand catching your breath.

bunny stares at the water, occasionally looking at you before returning his focus on the water.

“we haven’t swam yet.” he puts one hand at your back, rubbing your back.

“do you want to?” you look at him, giggling softly at the feeling of his hand.

“only if you’re swimming too.”

you slowly get up and stretch, preparing yourself to swim.

“you’re not taking your shirt off?” bunny questions,

you look back at him displeased, “pervert.”

“aye. not like that— we don’t have extra clothes.” he pauses, “i’m already shirtless, make it fair.” he smiles, walking backwards to the water while he still looked at you in the eye.

you groan, immediately taking your shirt off and tossing it far from the water. you run towards your boyfriend, jumping on top of him making you both fall.

the water was freezing. that was the first thing bunny complained about after you both were fully wet from the water.

“amor, my legs are numb.” he whines in fake annoyance,

“look who’s dramatic now.” he ignores you and pulls you closer towards him while you both went further into the ocean.

he stopped for about two seconds before staring at you intensely, hands settling at your waist to steady both of you against the tide.

the ocean stretched dark around you, the lights faint in the distance while the water moved softly against your legs.

for once, bunny went quiet.

you looked up at him properly then. damp hair falling into his eyes, his muscular build that was hard to ignore, the corner of his mouth curled slightly like he was trying not to smile too hard.

“wanna be embarrassing?” he murmured.

“..embarrassing how…?”

“couple making out in the beach kind of embarrassing.”

“iglesias, no—“

you were cut off when another wave crashed against both of you, making you unbalanced.

“just one kiss.” his hand stayed on your cheek.

you sigh, pretending you weren’t enjoying this. “just one.”

then he leaned down and kissed you before you could say anything else.

it was slow, warm despite the cold water around you. when he pulled back, he still stayed close.

“amor,” he said quietly, smiling a little now. “you sure you only want one?”

you huff in frustration as you harshly pull him back in. kissing so intensely you start to forget about everything around you. the water, the cold air, the time. he doesn’t let go either, he doesn’t plan to. but when you both finished taking your time, he pulls you down in the water, wetting your hair.

he pulls you closer with his grip on your arm, “was this worth sneaking out for?” he whispers to your ear.

“shut up and kiss me.”

eventually the cold forced both of you back toward the car.

bunny’s hoodie hung loosely over your shoulders, the sleeves covering half your hands while the wind pushed your hair across your face. to which he reached over automatically to fix it. his fingers brushed gently near your cheek. squeezing it before tucking the strands of your hair back properly.

your hair was damp from the ocean breeze, and bunny kept shaking sand out of his shoes with increasing irritation while you only watched from the passenger seat trying not to laugh.

“feel like this is your fault.”

“and how is that my fault exactly?”

“cause you wanted to go to the beach.”

you let out a face of disbelief, “excuse me— you drove us here.”

the inside of the car felt warmer now, fog slowly gathering against the windows while soft romantic music played low through the speakers. for a while, bunny just drove aimlessly along the coast. you watched the streetlights pass outside while resting your head against the window.

then his voice cut through the quiet.

“you ever get tired of this?”

“wow, serious all of the sudden.” you looked over, “tired of what?”

“..hiding.”

his hands stayed loose against the steering wheel, expression calmer than usual now.

“sometimes,” you admitted.

there was a small pause from bunny after that, “me too.”

bunny rarely sounded serious for long. usually he’d joke his way through uncomfortable conversations. but now he just looked thoughtful.

“i hate that you have to sneak around for me,” he said quietly.

your chest softened immediately. “it’s not your fault. i have my reasons too.”

“still.”

he tapped his fingers once against the steering wheel before continuing. “i think about normal stuff sometimes.”

“normal stuff?”

“yeah. like being able to pick you up properly.” he huffed a laugh under his breath. “front door, daylight. all that.”

you smiled a little. “my parents would kill you.”

“probably.”

“..but i’m glad you feel that way.” you stay quiet for a while before continuing, “i was worried that you were getting used to me climbing out the window.”

that made him laugh.

he reached over briefly, squeezing your hand once before focusing back on the road.

somewhere around five in the morning, both of you ended up parked near the quieter side of the beach again.

you weren’t even supposed to fall asleep.

bunny had reclined his seat slightly while talking about some teammate drama you barely understood, and you’d curled sideways against him listening sleepily while the heater warmed the car.

the next thing you knew, sunlight hit your face. you squinted awake immediately.

“…oh no.”

bunny stirred beside you with a groggy frown. “what time is it.”

you grabbed your phone, then immediately sat upright.

“oh my god.”

“what?”

“twenty missed calls.”

bunny blinked himself awake slower. “that’s not good.”

you looked at him in horror. “don’t state the obvious!”

“okay, don’t panic.”

“i’m dead.” you stutter, “like actually dead.”

bunny grabbed his own phone finally, wincing slightly. “we are. not just you, don’t worry.” he holds up his phone, showing you missed calls from his teammates.

“bunny.”

“i’m driving, relax.”

“holy shit we are both screwed.”

he tried not to smile, but he couldn’t help himself.

“this isn’t funny.”

“pretty sure this is a sign for us to go public”

“BUNNY.”

he laughed properly then, starting the car while you buried your face in your hands.

“do you want breakfast? coffee? there’s a drive-thru close by.” he mentions,

“iglesias we are both dead. funeral. six feet under.”

“were already in trouble.” he mutters, focused on the road.

you stare at him, a little annoyed he doesn’t seem worried. but then you see your favorite fast-food restaurant close by.

“okay let’s eat.”

“knew it.”

the drive back felt way too short. by the time he pulled up outside your house, your stomach already hurt from anxiety. every curtain in the house was open, which felt threatening somehow.

“i’m never sneaking out again,” you muttered.

“you said that last time.”

“let’s hope they don’t put bricks on my window.”

bunny leaned back against his seat watching you nervously gather your things.

then he smiled suddenly. big and completely unapologetic. “worth it though.”

before you could answer, the front door opened. both your parents stood there in complete silence.

watching.

directly at the car, directly at bunny. bunny’s smile only widens even more in amusement. you covered your eyes immediately. muttering quiet apologies while you refused to look at your parents in the eye.

another terrible silence passed.

then bunny leaned slightly toward you and whispered, “gameplan?”

you nearly laughed despite everything. “i’m going out. and you immediately drive.”

“yes ma’am.”

he hums as you get out of the car. you close the door and walk with your parents back inside while bunny starts driving away. already thinking about the excuses he has to make for his teammates.

you were definitely grounded. yet bunny still had the audacity to message you despite it all.

bunny : update me if you can sneak out again next week.

bunny : lmfaaoo jus kidding

bunny : also you didn’t kiss me goodbye

bunny : love you dont die

bunny : did they take your phone

[dnaayu]

Sharplow