it is unlike them to pretend to be something blessed. the knights who trailed beneath their banner may believe otherwise , hold the honorclad with high regard── god-blessed , and god-made── yet they find that the moniker scathes. carries the familiar scent of something metallic , sits on their tongue as heavy as the vitriol spewed by the damned. all too familiar that they cannot possibly perceive themselves as something so ... pure. they are far from it. once , they were foolish enough to believe that if they avoided their lands and carried out orders with the diligence of any good hunting hound , they might be rid of their sins yet.
resilience , they had called it─── argued that it was naught but the actions of a knight that sought to earn his keep. negligence , is what sol called it in turn. ' a knight is only as good as his wit , alvise. ' on days the silence weigh heavy , argenti recounts the memory and utters the words. bears the foolish hope that repetition may allow their friend a second chance at life. its a preposterous thought , sol is dead. slain by his own hand , and no amount of vigils in his name will bring them back. thus , for all the roses that the people used to associate with their image , they thought the thorns anoklay and llamrei used to tease them with were more fitting.
it is thus , perhaps , their nature to hurt the ones that sought to cling to them. they are not the kind to soften their blade despite their disposition , unlikely to dull the part of themselves that── more than anything── clung to survival. " i've left before. " they offer , heedless of the other's warning ; watches him carefully with all the tension of cornered prey , and only their fickle pride allows them to remain steadfast. perhaps , they think , they want to be finally rid of this malaise. the threat of ceasing to exist , of things falling apart and undone : ruin they desperately sought , carefully wrought by a hand that wasn't their own. all the same , the knight is weary. mendasia's fall weighs on them , and mikhail's presence here is a memory from a place they long for but cannot ever return to.
" mikhail , " the name unfolds , easier than they might ever allow themselves to acknowledge. less a stone lodged in their throat as their attention remains moored on the other's mien , bears the brunt of his anger with a steady stare as argenti sought to glean through his vitriol. mikhail is a mystery , or so argenti tells themselves. in hindsight , for all his rhymes and penchant for games , the angel had always been upfront with them. only then , they were the ever loyal and dutiful blade. they did not know that the rebellion that mikhail wanted would eventually wind its way in their life , regardless of his prompting. " there isn't a day i do not blame myself for what happened── but this, whatever you're mad for now , it is not my doing. " his words scathe , and argenti knows that they are meant to. the knight does not need mikhail's reminder to blame himself , argenti does , he has a feeling that he always might. " if hurt is what you wish to give me , then so be it. i cannot give you what you want , just as i couldn't give it to you then. did you not hear ? mendasia is gone , the order is torn , and our god is dead. what rebellion could i possibly give you when there isn't anything left ? "
they are a remnant twice damned. brows drawn to a furrow as the knight sought to stifle their own temper , bleeding through the seams as they dare to take a step forward. eyes still moored to mikhail's mien as though , for once , anything they might find may just as well be the permission they need to fall apart sans having to make the choice themselves. " to whom would you suggest i point my blade to ? my fellow knights that yet live ? you ? you already make things difficult , yet all the same , you refuse to speak plainly. what is it , exactly , that you're asking of me ? " the knight queries , temper dwindling by the second until the very moment a sigh falls from their lips. " we're at an impasse , you and i. you threaten me , as i threaten you in turn. frankly , i'm weary. its been decades , mikhail. i do not know what i want or what to make of things , so tell me , why is it that you insist on this ? there are others , surely you know this. i'm hardly the same knight you knew then. "
