LunaLovesYou

95er, Swedish native. Hardore ARMY. Also, I'm asexual and probably aegoromantic (aro). You can call me Luna :) header by @aroworlds

[aro-who-reads]

Aro books recs for ASAW 2022

I put a list of aro books together for ASAW last year, so I thought I'd make another one for this year with what I've read and enjoyed in the last year! (it's still ASAW for most of you right?)

City of Strife by Claudie Arseneault

First book in fantasy series, multiple members of the large main cast are arospec.

Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace

Scifi novel, MC is aroace

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark

YA heist novel, one of the five POV characters is aroace

The Liar's Guide to the Night Sky by Brianna R. Shrum

YA survival novel, second main character is pan aro.

This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria

YA fantasy stand alone, MC is aroace

Two Dark Moons by Avi Silver

Fantasy novel, MC is alloaro, and in a QPR. First in series.

Werecockroach by Polenth Blake

Spec fic short story, MC is aroace, as is another character.

[useduppaper]

I want your opinion. I wrote a comment on a tik tok. In the tik tok, a girl was explaining terms to her mom (the blurred face). One term she explained was demisexual. She said they don't get into something until they have an emotional bond, and not surprisingly the mom didn't get it. Since I'm ace and I've read the definition of demisexuality and posts made by demis, I commented. The comments are a bit thrown out of order, but the minutes of the comments show which came first, except the last pic which I screenshotted later than the first three, so the mins look off. Am I in the wrong at all? I got a bit upset over the response I got from a, in my opinion, harmless comment.

Btw, a couple more comments were made after this, nothing I felt worth adding on her, she pretty much seemed proud of her rudeness. She's also deleted most of my replies now.

[useduppaper]

I'm feeling very lonely. Many of my friends don't live in my city. The ones left are friends I don't hang out with often, and when I do it's usually in a group. And since I'm aroace I don't have a partner either. What I have is my parents, and thank God for that, but it's not the same... In an ideal world I'd have more friends here with me, who don't plan to eat at a restaurant and not invite me... I'm also sad that I can't have a partner because I'd love to be able to, love cuddling and holding hands... It's just that relationships make me very uncomfortable... Ugh, I'm in such a mood right now

[uniquelyaro]

For real tho, where are the rest of my romance-favourable but still loveless aros at?

The two main narratives I'm used to seeing are:

'Aros can still feel [other kinds] of love' from well meaning aros who are sick of their friendships, familial bonds and QPRs being treated as lesser than romantic relationships, as well as arospecs who are sick of their identities being ignored, erased or misinterpreted.

And

'Aros don't have to feel any kind of love/have a QPR' from well meaning loveless/aplatonic aros who are sick of people just replacing romance with QPRs on the amatonormativity pedestal.

I so rarely see people talk about the strangeness of being in the middle of these, and what it's like to enjoy romance/love while never actually feeling it.

[queenjulia24]

HOLD UP HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS

[lichpire]

was gonna leave my comment in the tags but tbh i’m silent enough about this as it is.

seeing stuff like this is so upsetting because these terms were well known and widespread in the ace community but because of exclusionists many people stopped using terms like this because they felt uncomfortable and unsafe.

i loved these terms when i was in highschool, i loved the feeling of community, but i lost that because i didn’t feel comfortable openly and proudly calling myself asexual.

they’ve hurt so many people and damaged our community badly and i will never forgive them for that. we deserve to use our own terminology and feel safe within our community.

[atasteforsuicidal]

sometimes i notice i haven’t seen “grace” (grey-ace) in a while and consequently wonder if i made it up.

[slenders1ckn3ss]

I remember ppl - even other ace ppl - saying the card suit thing was “cringey” and “straight ppl aren’t gonna take us seriously” (sounds familiar?) So i guess the community wound up abandoning it. We were also having severe issues at the time with aces being stereotyped as “childish/immature” for associating things like cake, dragons, and space with asexuality, plus in general as most aces just don’t “get” allosexual things in media and irl. We were starting to be viewed as ignorant, virginal, childish, losers, etc. I haven’t seen an ace-cake thing in a good while now.

This was the infancy of exclusionary influence on us. I didn’t realize it did more damage than just closeting us. Whole symbols and terms have been lost. Community has been lost.

[cobraonthecob]

I remember three-four years ago I got myself into the ace community on Insta, and I came across these terms. People in these circles would talk about cake, space, dragons, and the black ring on the middle finger. Then, a year or two later, ace content fizzled out (I thought it was Insta’s algorithm figuring out that I knew all this and didn’t bring me the old stuff) and young aces had no idea what any of these were - including the black ring. Finding out young aces had no idea what the black ring meant nearly snapped my heart in two - I proudly wore the black ring, I drew characters with it, and it was my quiet way of communicating to others what my sexuality was. I was baffled at the lack of knowledge - and it turns out that exclusionists got their hands into our community and snuffed us out. 

Anyways, we need to bring this back. I thought the card suite thing was cool, it taught people the different ways people can experience attraction, I loved making jokes about preferring cake, I loved wearing the black ring and talking about it with my fellow queer people at my highschool QSA club. 

[kriss-watches-stuff]

I’m sorry, people don’t know about the cake or ring anymore? I remember being welcomed with spams of cake gifs, photos, and MS Paint drawings. I also distinctly remember that the block solo ring in the midle was meant as reference to the Ace of Spades (black, solo, middle of card). Only thing I didn’t know was that other aces could represent a more refined nuance. Let’s see if we can get this all rolling again.

Welcome to anyone who is interested in helping with the culture revival.

[haunting-kind-of-high]

This is the exact reason I started my #ace positive and #aro positive tags. I remember learning about asexuality and thinking it was cool, but not for me (yet). I remember ace visibility day where people would post selfies with an ace card to signify their orientation like in the original post. I remember going through the tag and following every ace blog I could find, turning notifications on and scrolling through their blogs endlessly to learn more about it. I haven’t gotten a notification for any of those blogs in ages.

Going through all those blogs and seeing validation, learning more things about my newfound orientation was so incredibly as a questioning and unsure 15 year old. It’s devastating to me that this community has fallen quiet so much. So I started my tags, hoping to spread some more positivity and maybe inform people. This community is full of incredible people and the fact that so little of them remain, it heartbreaking.

Check out my tags if you ever need to. Maybe I’ll add more tags to my list to do whatever I can in support

[aroaesflags]

Aroace wallpapers with some new patterns! - [ID: Ten phone wallpapers with patterns in the colors of the blue and orange aroace flag. The first one has a pattern of vertical stripes, clover-like shapes, and small white spots. The second has a pattern of tropical leaves. The third has a pattern of striped blobs on vertical stripes. The fourth has a pattern of flowers in vertical chains. The fifth has a pattern of various animal silhouettes. The sixth has a pattern of flowers and spots. The seventh has a pattern of pixelated hearts that fade into the background toward the top. The eighth has a pattern of concentric diagonal squares. The ninth has a pattern of leaves and spots. The tenth has a pattern of striped squares and flower-like shapes. End ID]

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

💜💜💜💜💜💜

[a-veil-of-fallen-angels]

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of people claiming to support aspec identities when they don’t. So, to be clear:

You don’t truly support asexuality, aromanticism, or agender people if:

•You think asexuality or aromanticism or agender people can’t inherently be LGBTQ+ (for their aspec identity alone)

•You don’t support the entire spectrum of asexuality, aromanticism, and agender (this means things like demisexuality and greyromantics and agenderflux)

•You don’t support agender people using neopronouns if they so choose

•You think you can’t be asexual if you like, have had, or want to have sex

•You think you can’t be aromantic if you like, have had, or want to have a romantic relationship

•You think agender people have to dress androgynous to have their identity respected

•You think people can be asexual or aromantic, but only until they “find the right one”

•You think aspec people are just confused

•Feel free to add anything I’ve missed

Also, if you think any of those things, my blog may not be the place for you, and you should really leave because trust me, I bite when pressured. Thanks :)

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is enjoying fictional romantic relationships, but being like "get that stuff away from me" when it's about irl relationships

.

[hope-and-a-dream]

Aroace flag fox for anyone who wants it

[arowitharrows]

[Image ID: a digital drawing of a fox on a black background. The fox is filled with an ocean sunset scenery in the blue and orange aroace flag colors. End ID]

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is dreaming about what it would be like to be in love when your romance positive. But you aren't able to actually fall in love or feel it romantically so you feel like you're missing out on something important.

.

[useduppaper]

Can't fall asleep. It's 1am. I dunno if it's because it's warm, or cuz I'm just not tired, or cuz my brain won't shut up, or maybe bc I'm not using my weighted blanket.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is wanting a relationship for some reason, but once your in it, you immediately want to escape again

.

[useduppaper]

Me

[useduppaper]

Hard day mentally. Don't know why I'm struggling this much to accept this part of me when the ace part was so simple

[cake-lovin-ace]

on today's episode of being ace

[wallpaper-walmart]

mARMARMAR!!! can i get a pan wallpaper or an ace wallpaper or a polyam wallpaper oR ALL THREE??? (no pressure to make all three ofc im just tryna be enthusiastic :p)

*suddenly remembers that she made a batch of ace wallpapers at 4am two nights ago*

the other two coming soon!!

demigirl || lesbian || bisexual || pansexual || polyamorous || non-binary || queer || aroace || and more

please like/rb if saving

[useduppaper]

Just posted aroace flag art on my Instagram. Wow