[phntasmgoria]

# phntasmgoria , an indie & selective & mutuals-only roleplay multimuse featuring YUNO KASHIKI from MILGRAM.

aborted by ollie. ( 23 , pronouns , plural. ) please read the carrd before following. spoilers and dark content ahead.

roster. prompts. verses. headcanons. starter calls. open starters.

minors and personals dni. proshippers please just get away from me.

affiliates: @temporalhaze +, @miraculpa +, @kenneidy +, @dissolutio +

[littleforest-walk]

[phntasmgoria]

@pompedia

[ayilings]

it’s always been her

[phntasmgoria]

(from the inbox call, for dark choco!)

There was no need to pry; he had no right to, not really. But the thought lingered in his head every time he looked at them, a pit of dread and guilt in his stomach. So, against all his better judgement, he spoke—quietly, but with a potently uneasy edge.

“...Your eye. What happened?” He frowned slightly, and added, “You... do not need to answer, if you do not wish to.”

They paused at that, instinctively reaching up to cover the marred eyecing. The guilt made the prince tremble, try as they might, as they remembered the night clearly. The night they turned his own blade 'pon themself; the night that son attacked father.

Dark Choco Cookie could not look their father in the face. They were ashamed of themself for it all. Attacking their father, nearly killing him, trying to steal the Soul Jam... all of it.

They breathed. In, then out.

"...An eye for an eye."

[phntasmgoria]

🏳️‍🌈 + Croissant Cookie

QUEER IDENTITY HCS. // accepting ( @cookieofearthbread )

i haven't thought about it much, but nonbinary lesbian feels waaaaaaaay too fitting for them <3

[phntasmgoria]

thinking of this timeline and noting that yuno likely has a gaydar for other people but not herself. shaking her.

[phntasmgoria]

🏳️‍🌈 + yuno also!

QUEER IDENTITY HCS. // accepting ( @pinchofdeceit )

yuno is.... complicated. but for a simple tl;dr: aroace lesbian with a Lot of trust issues.

more complicated + potentially triggering explanation under the cut:

as a sex worker + a victim of statutory rape, yuno has only ever been with men. but those were contractual dates that had no love attached. those older men only wanted her for her body, and when they tried to treat her like a girlfriend, she rejected it outright, not wanting to mix love and lust.

i personally headcanon that yuno would actually be into women if she ever tried to date someone for real. imo the closet is glass and she is Blind. but she has trust issues due to the reasons above, and if i had to pick a specific identity or two under the aroace umbrella, it would be demisexual + either demiromantic or straight up lithromantic.

[phntasmgoria]

🏳️‍🌈 + hi. give me your shadow milk.

QUEER IDENTITY HCS. // accepting ( @pinchofdeceit )

genderfluid + uses any pronouns (they by default but like. mirrors the pronouns of who they're around like the fae steal identities <3) and has no gender preference on romance whatsoever!

[mythshire]

⋆ · 𖤓 · ⋆ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 ··· a collection of first loves and found family, the quiet courage of being seen, learning to take up space in a world that asked you to make yourself small. genre: romance, hurt and comfort, self discovery, queer joy.

I've been practicing saying it in the mirror for three weeks. It still doesn't sound real.

You're the first person I've told. I need you to understand what that means.

Don't make it a big deal. Also — it's the biggest deal of my life.

I knew when I was seven. I just didn't have the word for it yet.

You looked at her the same way I look at her. I think that's when I knew I wasn't alone.

Say it with me. You don't have to say it to anyone else. Just say it with me first.

My family doesn't know. I need tonight to just be about us knowing.

I came out twice today. Once on accident.

You held my hand in public and I forgot how to breathe for a second.

I spent so long pretending. I don't really know who I am without the pretending yet.

This is the first pride I've been to as myself. Bear with me if I cry a little.

I kept waiting to feel different after I said it. I just felt relieved.

Nobody gets to tell you what your identity means. Not even me.

You're allowed to still be figuring it out. The label can wait. The feeling doesn't have to.

I'm not asking you to announce anything. I'm asking you to stop hiding from me.

You looked so free today. I don't think I've ever seen you look that free.

Love is not a phase. I need you to say that back to me like you mean it.

I've loved you in every version of myself. That has to count for something.

My mother cried. I don't know yet if they were good tears or bad ones.

You didn't flinch. When I told you, you didn't flinch. Do you know what that meant to me?

I used to pray to be different. Now I think I was praying wrong.

Hold my hand. Not for anyone else. Just because I want you to.

I found the community before I found the word. That's how I knew I was home.

You are not too much. You have never been too much.

I spent years shrinking myself into something easier to love. I'm done doing that.

She smiled at me and I forgot every lie I ever told myself.

The world is loud today. Can we just be quiet together for a minute.

I'm not brave. I'm just tired of being afraid.

You loved me before I knew how to love myself. I don't know how to thank you for that.

Stop apologizing for existing so loudly. That's the whole point.

I kept the letter for two years before I sent it. I'm glad I finally sent it.

You're the first person who ever made me feel like this was something to celebrate.

I don't need anyone's permission. I just needed my own.

I'm not confused. I have never been less confused in my life.

You came. After everything, you came. That's all I needed to know.

There are so many of us. I keep forgetting how many of us there are until days like today.

I wrote it down before I could say it. Here. Read it. Take your time.

You make being this feel like the most natural thing in the world.

I hid it for so long it became a habit. Breaking habits is hard. You make it easier.

We don't have to call it anything. We just have to be honest.

I used to think the love I wanted was too much to ask for. Then I met you.

My chosen family showed up today. My blood family didn't. I know which one counts.

You kissed me in front of everyone and I think my whole life changed in that second.

I have never felt more like myself than I do standing here with you.

Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done. Everything else was the hard part.

You told me it gets better and I didn't believe you. I'm starting to believe you.

I don't want to be tolerated. I want to be celebrated. Is that too much to ask.

We made it. Look around. We actually made it here, together, and we're okay.

[world-omelettes]

though i say many things, please try and seek out the real me

[ghcstrie]

i want to be drowning in the knowledge that i am right

[hakaiart]

[morrayeel]

I'm feeling very kotoko today

[leneemusing]

IT’S  ALL  ABOUT  THE  YEARNING 

❝  you need someone.  let me be that person.  let me be what you need.  ❞

❝  look,  i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now.  but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here.  ❞

❝  i never realized how much i needed you until you were the one person who wasn’t there.  ❞

❝  you asked me once,  if i would ever take a chance on us…maybe that ship sailed.  but.  ask me again?  sometime— doesn’t have to be today.  maybe tomorrow just.  ask me again.  ❞

❝  i know i can’t protect you from everything,  but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control.  ❞

❝  i used to have so much faith.  maybe not in deities or something but,  in the world.  the universe.  i believed their was a purpose to it all.  i’m not sure when i lost that.  ❞

❝  have you ever had something…missing?  like something just doesn’t feel right inside you but you don’t know what it is.  ❞

❝  sometimes,  i just need the world to be beautiful.  i know how dark and ugly it can be but i just want to see something good and focus only on it for a few minutes.  ❞

❝  i was sort’ve hoping you needed me.  is that selfish?  ❞

❝  people need someone to see them for what they are and not just see it but accept it.  i want to be that person for anyone i can…but it can be so suffocating to be that person and also remain unseen.  ❞

❝  sometimes i feel i’m being crushed under the weight of everything i’ll never be.  ❞

❝  you’re looking at me but you’re not seeing me.  do you know how that feels?  just see me.  please.  ❞

❝  i want to deserve you.  i’m trying to deserve you.  ❞

❝  i know i fucked up.  i know i did but don’t shut me out anymore.  let me in.  please let in.  ❞

❝  every time you smile at me,  i memorize it.  i remember each moment that i get to be the one to bring out that light inside you.  no matter what happens between us,  that’s what i’ll remember.   ❞

❝  i can’t help but think there’s got to be something out there for me,  somewhere.  just some place where i actually feel like i belong.  ❞ 

❝  the world is so big.  why do i never feel like i fit into it?  ❞

❝  when i’m with you i feel like myself.  i feel like every side of me is present and accepted.  and i feel good about it—  i feel good about who i am when i’m with you.  ❞

❝  do you like me?  i know you love me.  i know you care about me but.  do you like who i am?  ❞

❝  i want to look in the mirror one day and not feel uncomfortable with my own reflection.  ❞

❝  just take my hand and close your eyes.  pretend we’re anywhere else but here.  ❞

❝  so,  what would you be?  if you had to power to change all the things making you unhappy,  what would your life look like?  ❞

❝  do you even know what it does to me?  every time i see you cry,  any time you’re hurt even the smallest bit it just— do you realize how deeply you’ve imbedded yourself into my heart?  ❞

❝  i don’t feel like a whole person without you anymore.  i don’t fucking care if anyone else would say about that.  you’re part of who i am now.  the most important piece of me.  ❞

❝  every time you walk away you take another piece of me with you.  ❞

❝  i’m only really living in the moments when we’re together.  the rest is just existing until you look at me again.  ❞

❝  it feels like there’s a string around my heart and it’s connected to you.  everywhere you go you’re just tugging me behind,  pulling me towards you.  ❞

❝  you’ve got me in the palm of your hands.  you could crush me and i would still thank you for touching me at all.  ❞

❝  i no longer know where i end and you begin.  you’ve wound yourself around my soul so tightly,  you’re all i feel anymore.  ❞

❝  you’ve stolen my heart,  the least you could do is tell me what you intend to do with it.  ❞

❝  i don’t have perfect words.  i’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit.  so all i know what to tell you is that i belong to you.  i don’t know if you want me.  but i’m yours.  and at this point however it is you need me,  i’m here.  ❞

❝  you’re the only thing that matters anymore.  i can’t eat,  i can’t sleep—  all the goddamn cliches from every stupid movie and song.  you’re all i think about.  i’m useless except when i’m yours.  ❞

❝  i haven’t stopped thinking about the way you laugh.  i’m hoping i’ll get to hear it again.  ❞

❝  when your eyes are on me,  i feel like something worth seeing.  ❞

❝  just let me look at you for a little bit.  ❞

❝  i would do anything for you.  all my lines and rules.  they mean nothing when it comes to you.  it’d cross and break them all just to make you happy.  ❞

[phntasmgoria]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGH KOTOKOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[phntasmgoria]

holds out a starter call!! please specify a muse.

[penguin-memes-blog]

tell me your honest opinion of my portrayal