i feel like ive spent enough time thinking about hnk these past months to be able to confidently say i can grasp most of what its putting down, but
and cairngorms generally weird relationship with lapis during the moon continues to leave me baffled. its just so odd, and i'll try to briefly explain why it confuses me so much.
you can disregard this scene as ghost speaking over cairngorm, since we learn that was something they had a habit of doing, but we also have seen cairngorm take control of their body spontaneously, so i would imagine ghost would be able to tell when or who cairngorm was willingly obedient to. though, again, since we have nothing to go off of but ghosts own words, which we know can be untrustworthy, im fine letting this slide as cairngorm having had no choice.
what i have way more trouble letting slide as ghost speaking over cairngorm is this specific sequence:
because, the way i interpreted this before vol10 was pretty cut and dry: ghost is forcing cairngorm to relinquish lapis' head for the sake of saving phos, despite cairngorm not wanting to part with it, much less give it to phos, who they dont even like. post ch71, however, it just becomes kind of a mess.
we know ghost cant affect cairngorms opinions on gems, only their actions, seeing how, for example, each of them have massively different views of phos. even prior to becoming separated, ghost and cairngorm were very much their own people with their own beliefs, its just that cairngorm had very little control over their personal self-expression. so, sure, pre moon cairngorm was protective of phos, but they were never nice in the way ghost was, just civil, because they had to be. theyre even very straightforward with their dislike early on, even beating phos unconscious like. thrice? something i dont believe ghost would have done or have allowed to be done. therefore, we can assume that ghosts influence, while significant, was not so great as not to allow cairngorm to retain their own thoughts and opinions, distorted as they may have been.
where am i going with this?
its both implied and then directly stated that cairngorm was fond of lapis. the entire 7th volume is about how cairngorm was fond of lapis. not as smitten as ghost, but never once did they express this cold disinterest towards them that they display during the moon arc. and this, unlike their eventual snipping off of their relationship with phos, which is subtly foreshadowed from the beginning, really does feel like it comes out of nowhere. apply to this scene in the convalescent center the context of ch71, and suddenly this averse reaction is rendered pointless; cairngorm cares about lapis little enough to immediately forget them upon being freed from ghost, so their hesitation to follow ghosts wishes makes absolutely no sense.
and it leaves me wondering; why the talk of "our prized possession"? is the takeaway here that cairngorm is apologizing to someone they couldnt care less about, for no reason? or is it supposed to be ghost speaking, who, i must reiterate, has never been shown to be able to hijack cairngorms words, and at most only mellow out their behavior? if so, this scene becomes essentially null, going from an example of ghost overriding cairngorms desires and forcing their hand, to ghost only causing themself pain by giving up lapis' head that they (and apparently, they alone) treasure so much.
except, heres the thing: ghost, in vol5, offered to help phos on the ridiculous basis that theyre "sort of like lapis". ghost, much like cairngorm, knew there was no way lapis would be coming back, and that safekeeping their head was pretty much pointless past their own emotional attachment.
i understand, obviously, that it cant have been easy to let go of it, because to let go would mean to admit that lapis is gone for good, but the ghost we got to see clearly would have jumped at the chance to have anybody even slightly resembling lapis around, even (or even more so) if that someone carried around lapis' reanimated head and intact parts of their personality.
ghost would have been the last gem to oppose this head transplant, unlike cairngorm, who is shown to regret it the moment phos wakes up, and who immediately demands that phos change their hairstyle when they start acting too much like lapis for comfort. was this ghost speaking then, as well? does that even make sense? just how much of pre vol8 cairngorm is ghost, exactly? its not made very clear.
even if cairngorm merely changed their opinion on lapis when they found themself on the moon, which i can accept to a certain degree, it still doesnt make sense how, in the span of a single night, they managed to go from a moderate liking to "i dont care what happens, they were ghosts partner, not mine". so either im a fucking idiot, ghost can perform genuine hypnosis but only selectively, i guess, or ichikawa did not think about this too deeply and im being stupid nitpicky. all just as likely.
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