i put the chhinkni up to his nose again and he inhaled WAY too strongly. there was a visible gap in how full the bottle was before and after. he started coughing right away and looked genuinely scared.
then a sneeze. then another sneeze. then a super messy sneeze. i pass him a tissue of course. he blows his nose, and the fit continues, except now he’s muffling them into the tissues. they are distinctly masculine sounding, almost like a cough-sneeze, but wetter sounding. it seems he’s still trying to stifle, and he’s doing surprisingly well. all the while, he looks like he’s sobbing. not just from the tears, but from the sad look he’s giving me.
and i feel so bad. and all i can do is keep passing him tissues and offer him water. at some point, he starts blowing his nose with a paper towel that was on the bed, and i have to beg him to pull away for a second to give him a real tissue. about halfway through his fit, he starts genuinely panting. like a combination of gasping for air and hitching
around the twelfth sneeze, i have to beg him to stop trying to stifle. he tells me he’ll try, and he leans down towards my lap. he sneezes again, and it’s still kinda stifled. and it’s so messy. he gets back up, tells me to take my pants off, sneezes again, and starts putting his fingers inside of me. (?!) and he sneezes one last time. [and i have to ask him to take his fingers out because i’m concerned for him, but you can pretend i didn’t if that makes the reading experience more enjoyable]
all in all, the count is about fourteen or fifteen. the fact that i don’t have an exact number says a lot about the state of mind i was in, since im usually super serious about counting them
afterwords, he tells me he didn’t even know he was stifling, or that he wasn’t trying to. force of habit ig 🤷♀️ and he tells me it turned him on to be that out of control #freak
and later that night, he texts me that someone at the bar said his nose was really red :3
always worried that chhinkni wouldn’t work on me. just tried it, and one little sniff induced seven sneezes that were physically impossible to stifle. (not because they came by surprise, the buildups were agonizing, they were just that strong)
for when you need to put your OCs/favs in a Situation™
or if you're simply curious about the science behind why plants make us sneeze
please do not reblog to non-snz blogs // Minors DNI (18+ blog)
Hi! I'm Leni and I'm a plant ecologist and snzfucker (obviously). If you like to include accurate details in your snz fics but don't know where to start when it comes to all things hay fever and plant allergies (or if you're just curious for...reasons) then you've come to the right place! I've put together this mini guide to get you started. If you ever have any questions on any of the following, please feel free to reply to this post (or send me an ask if you prefer to be anonymous).
View/download this post in a Google Doc format (don't worry - viewing is 100% anonymous. You can see my username but I (and others who view the doc) can't see yours.
IN THIS GUIDE:
Mini crash course on plants, pollen + pollination
A selected list of the sneeziest plants, categorized by:
🌻 wildflowers + weeds
🌾 grasses
🌳 shrubs
🌲 trees
💐 cultivated flowers
💥 sternutatory plants
🏅special mentions
The Chhinkni Corner™ - how/why does it work? a deeper dive into plant snience (snz science...hehe)
Some fun plant + snz facts sprinkled throughout
Tools, references, and resources at the end
Feel free to skip directly to the parts that interest you. I won't be offended if you don't read it all!
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS BEFORE WE GET STARTED:
In an attempt to keep this as accessible as possible I am simplifying some concepts and skipping over some entirely. Otherwise there's just too much to get into!
This is by no means a complete list of species rather a selected assortment
I am not an immunologist, allergist, or palynologist (pollen scientist). I’m coming at this through the lens of a plant ecologist and snzfcker
While I did create one of the figures/images in this chart, the others I have 'borrowed' from elsewhere on the internet - normally I would include proper credits/citations but, uh, I don't really think we want the authors to accidentally end up here.
Many plants, including some referenced in this document and the included resources can be extremely toxic, dangerous – or even deadly – if used, consumed, or prepared incorrectly. Do not be silly in your pursuit of snz.
Let's dive in! (don't worry, there won't be a pop quiz)
Mini Crash Course on Plants + Pollen
What's the deal with plants? Like, where do I start if I know...nothing?
You can start right here!! Okay, so there are a lot (and I do mean a lot) of different ways we classify plants. For the purposes of this post, I'm going to to break down a few of the key ones in a way that (hopefully) isn't too overwhelming.
The Linnaean Classification system: This is the standard method of classifying all living organisms, using taxonomic binomial nomenclature (a formal, 2-part naming system in Latinized forms).
🌱 FUN FACT: Common names of plants often vary from region to region, culture to culture, and era to era. You can learn a lot from a plant's common name, and often a lot more from its binomial nomenclature. For example, the plant known as Common Sneezewort (Achillea ptarmica) derives its binomial species name (ptarmica) from the Greek word ptairo ("sneeze") which means "causes sneezing!" -- Thus, the plant's full scientific name translates to "Yarrow that causes sneezing." Pretty on[in?]-the-nose if you ask me.
Do all plants produce pollen?
Nope! Not all plants produce pollen. I've put together the following chart which helps break down how we further classify plants --specifically in the context of what plants produce pollen and how they are pollinated, which all leads us to understanding what makes them more/less allergenic and why...we'll get into shortly.
Why do plants produce pollen, and what exactly is pollination?
It's how plants get it on, bay-bee! 🐝 Pollination is how the male parts of a plant transfer genetic material to the female parts of the plant, allowing plants to produce seed and fruit, and ensure the genetic diversity of its species is maintained. Let's talk about it!
Reproductive Categories:
Both Angiosperms (flowering) and Gymnosperms (non-flowering) have male structures which produce pollen and female structures which develop seeds and fruit.
In Angiosperms, the part of a flower containing the male reproductive organs is called the stamen. At the tip of the stamen is the anther, which is where pollen is produced! The part of a flower containing the female reproductive organ is called the pistil, which contains the ovary. Once fertilized by pollen, this part develops into the mature fruit/seed.
Flowers (and cones) can be male, female, or bisexual -- and there are even more categories I'm not going to get into but...Nature is queer, y'all! And it's awesome.
Monoecious plants have both male and female unisexual flowers on the same plant, which means they are self-pollinating. Examples include: Birch, Oak, Spruce, and Pine trees; and vegetables like pumpkins, cucumbers, corn and tomatoes.
Dioecious plants have unisexual male and female parts on separate plants, and need to be cross pollinated in order to produce seed. Examples include: Juniper, Poplar, Maple, and Willow trees; and vegetables like asparagus and spinach.
🌱 FUN FACT: On monoecious conifer trees, female cones grow on the upper branches of the tree, where they can be fertilized by the pollen of male cones blown upwards from the wind.
Okay, so exactly how are plants pollinated?
Biotic Pollination (by animals - primarily insects, but also birds and small mammals). In exchange for pollination services, these plants provide animals with food (pollen is very high in protein and nutrients).
Abiotic Pollination (by natural phenomenons - like wind, rain, or water). These are strong, independent self-pollinating plants who don’t need no bugs.
What makes some plants more allergenic than others?
It all has to do with how they're pollinated!
Insect-pollinated plants generally tend to be the least allergenic, as the pollen grains are generally larger and stickier, allowing them to easily stick to insect bodies.
I mean, just look at these guys. They’re absolutely lost in the sauce:
Wind-pollinated plants, on the other hand, tend to be the most allergenic as their pollen grains are smaller and lighter. They also tend to produce a lot more of it in quantity, since their distribution method is a lot less targeted (they rely on the variable forces of wind and water vs relying on, say, a bee that is reliably going to fly from flower to flower).
Depending on the anatomical structure of a species’ flowers, it may be both animal and wind-pollinated. Privet, for example, is primarily insect-pollinated, but because it has anthers that protrude considerably from its flower (hubba hubba), its pollen can be distributed by the wind, as this article explains.
🌱 FUN FACT: Some bees have special structures known as pollen baskets (or corbiculae) to help them efficiently store and carry pollen!
How is allergy season defined?
The peak flowering/pollen times for plants varies by region, even if the same plant species grows across a wide geographical range. This is influenced largely by climate, and may vary slightly year-by-year. Ragweed, for example is abundant throughout all of central-eastern continental US, but pollen levels may peak at different times, depending on what state you're in (the state of allergic misery perhaps). For example, someone who usually prepares accordingly for ragweed season to hit them in mid-September where they live might be in for a bit of a surprise if they travel to another part of the country in mid-late August...!
What is hay fever, exactly? Is it the same as seasonal allergies?
Essentially, yes. Hay fever is actually bit of a misnomer, as it was originally believed that the scent of freshly-cut grass (later dried to be used as hay*) was triggering allergic symptoms. Grass pollen of course can be a major trigger for allergies, nowadays the term is used almost interchangeably with the more-accurately described allergic rhinitis.
*Consider also, if you really want to put your character in a Situation, the fact that dried hay often contains not only pollen, but mold spores and dust/dried plant particles...
Why does pollen make people sneeze?
In simple terms: pollen allergies are an immunological response to the proteins found in different types of pollen. This article, titled 'Allergies: The Radical Theory of Sneezing' goes into much further detail.
Also, um, hello?!!? That name???
🌱 FUN FACT: This paper is the first recorded medical description of 'hay fever.' In case you want to read it. For science, obviously.
A Selected List of the Sneeziest Plants
🌻 wildflowers + weeds
Asters, Daisies, Sunflowers (Members of the Asteraceae family) in general
Ragweed (members of the Ambrosia genus): specifically Common Ragweed (Ambrosia artemisiifolia) and Great Ragweed (Ambrosia trifida)
Mugworts (members of the Artemisia genus) - particularly Common Mugwort (Artemisia vulgaris)
Pigweed (members of the Amaranthus genus)
Goosefoot (Chenopodium album)
💐 cultivated or cut flowers
Baby’s breath (Gypsophila paniculata) and its relatives in the same genus
Chrysanthemums or 'Mums' (members of the Chrysanthemum genus)
Asters, Daisies, Sunflowers (Members of the Asteraceae family), including:
Dahlias (members of the Dahlia genus)
Gerberas (members of the Gerbera genus)
🌾 grasses
Timothy grasses (members of the Phleum genus)
Sweet vernal grass (Anthoxanthum odoratum)
Bermuda grass (Cynodon dactylon)
Kentucky bluegrass (Poa pratensis)
Ryegrass (members of the Lolium genus)
Orchard grass (Dactylis glomerata)
Bahia grass (Paspalum notatum)
🌳 shrubs/small trees
Common Sagebrush (Artemisia tridentata)
Hazels (members of the Corylus genus)
Juniper (members of the Juniperus genus)
Cypress (members of the Cupressaceae family)
Privet (members of the Ligustrum genus)
🌲 trees
Alder (members of the Alnus genus)
Ash (members of the Fraxinus genus)
Beech (members of the Fagus genus)
Birch (members of the Betula genus)
Cedar (members of the Cedrus genus)
Elm (members of the Ulmus genus)
Hickory (members of the Carya genus)
Maple (members of the Acer genus)
Mulberry (members of the Morus genus)
Oak (members of the Quercus genus)
Olive (members of the Olea genus)
Sycamore (members of the Platanus genus)
Poplar (members of the Populus genus)
🌱 FUN FACT: People who are allergic to the pollen of one plant species are more likely to also be allergic to species in the same plant family. For example, those who are Ash tree pollen may also be allergic to the pollen of Olives and Lilacs, as all three are members of the Oleaceae family.
🏅special mentions (plants that may or may not necessarily be allergenic but still deserve to be mentioned)
Highly fragrant plants (known to or most likely to trigger scent reactions)
Lilies – particularly Asiatic hybrids such as Lilium orientalis (aka the Stargazer lily)
Hyacinths (members of the Hyacinthus genus)
Lilacs (members of the Syringa genus)
Wisteria (members of the Wisteria genus)
Lavender (members of the Lavandula genus)
Jasmine (members of the Jasminum genus)
Freesias (specifically the highly fragrant Antique White Freesia aka Freesia alba)
Viburnums (Specifically the Burkwood Viburnum aka Viburnum × burkwoodii)
Roses (members of the Rosa genus)*
*There are certain types of hybrid Roses that have been bred specifically for traits like fragrance (eg. the variety known as “Mme Isaac Pereire”) but honestly...most of my knowledge pertains to wild rose species and I'm not researching this topic any further because people who grow cultivated/hybrid roses can be Extremely Serious about it and I’m genuinely a little scared of them.
Small, fluffy seed heads (wind-distributed seeds that are very tiny and light and easy to breathe in...Do you see where i'm going with this? You see the vision?!)
Dandelions (Taraxacum officinale):
Willowherbs (members of the Epilobium genus)
Cottongrasses (members of the Eriophorum genus)
Asters (members of the Aster genus)
Goldenrods (members of the Solidago genus)
Pearly Everlasting (Anaphalis margaritacea)
Hypoallergenic plants (these species tend to have thick/sticky pollen that does not become airborne, or needs to be intentionally disturbed by specialist polinators in order to disperse). A pollen allergy to any of the following plants would extremely unlikely, but an objectively hilarious affliction to give to a character.
Orchids (members of the Orchidaceae family)
Cactus (members of the Cactaceae family)
Irises, Crocuses, and Freesias (members of the Iridaceae family)
Columbines (members of the Aquilegia family)
🌱 FUN FACT: Many flowers have been cultivated (intentionally bred or hybridized to for specific traits) to produce less pollen. We call these varieties "cultivars." For allergy sufferers, hypoallergenic cultivars are great to grow in their garden (or to purchase at a florist). For pollinators who expend energy to search for a food source, it's not so great. It's even less great if these cultivars are native species which are subsequently planted or introduced into the wild, as it can compromise the genetic integrity of that species' wild populations, and negatively impact native pollinators.
💥 Sternutatory or Errhine plants
Sternutatory (adjective): Also sternutative. causing or tending to cause sneezing
Errhine (noun): a medicine to be snuffed up the nostrils to promote sneezing and increased discharges.
Important Disclaimer ⚠️ DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME ( I cannot stress this enough). This is for information purposes only and should not be used as a how-to guide. Many plants, including some on this list and the resources at the end of this guide can be extremely toxic, dangerous – or even deadly – if used, consumed, or prepared incorrectly. Misidentification of plant species can also be deadly. Seriously, do not be silly in your pursuit of snz. Stick with chhinkni, folks.
Wait, so…plants can make you sneeze even without pollen?
Heck yeah, friends! We've all heard about pepper as a snz trigger, of course...Well, Black Pepper is just the common name for the plant also known as Piper nigrum. Peppercorns are its dried fruit, and it's what we grind up to get black pepper seasoning! And chhinkni? It's all plant parts! We'll get into that later, too.
Indigenous peoples around the world have been using plants medicinally for millennia. Traditionally, sternutatory (yes, that is the fancy scientific word for ‘sneeze-inducing’) plants were used to treat or cure the common cold, headaches, or in some cases as a stimulant.
Are you writing a fic with a character who is an herbalist, traditional medicine practitioner, healer, witch/wizard, etc? Perhaps they would be familiar with some of the following plants:
🌱 FUN FACT: Mugwort is considered one of the most important herbs ("the mother of herbs") in traditional medicine (and witchcraft, allegedly). It is both a sternutatory plant and a highly-allergenic plant. It sure would be a shame if your herbalist/healer/witchy character had to both grow/harvest it and prepare/pulverize it...
Okay, but how and why exactly do these plants make us sneeze?
Excellent question, so let's get into it! Come on over to...
The Chhinkni Corner
Ever wondered why Chhinkni works? Why it's so effective? What the ingredients are? Exactly how/why these ingredients make us sneeze? Let's dive into some plant + snz science (Snience)!
First, let's break down the ingredients of Chhinkni:
Well, we know from the list of (some of the known) sternutatory plants above that the root bark of Myrica species is sternutatory, so that makes sense! But what about the others on this list? Let's get back to that important question:
What about these specific plants/plant parts make us sneeze?
It all has to do with Transient receptor potential channels (TRP channels). TRP channels are primarily located on the plasma membrane of our cells. They detect environmental stimuli and translate this exposure into sensations of chemesthesis (irritation, burning, cooling, tingling) pressure, taste, and smell. There are six main categories of specialized TRP channels, which play different roles throughout our body. Here's a chart that helps visualize each category:
Woah, this is getting a little overwhelming. What the heck does this have to do with snz? Or plants?!
Everything, my friend! Everything! Many TRP channels are heavily expressed in the epithelial cells of nasal mucosa. Each TRP channel is activated by different things (with some overlaps) including different chemicals found in specific plant families. Let's look at some of these TRP channels (and what activates them) and things will start to make a lot more sense:
TRPV is activated by:
--- Capsaicin (found in Chili Pepper), Piperine (found in Black Pepper), Carvacrol (found in Bee Balm), Camphor (primarily found the Camphor tree, but also found in plants like Rosemary), Menthol, Cannabis, Incense, Ginger, Menthol (mint).
TRPA is activated by:
--- Mustards (mustard, radish, horseradish, wasabi), Cinnamaldehyde (cinnamon), Tobacco, Cannabis, Wintergreen oil (aka what gives mint candies/gum its flavor), Shogaols (found in Ginger and Sichuan peppers)
TRPM is activated by:
--- Eucalyptol (oils from Eucalyptus plants), Menthol (mints),
--- Cold temperatures
Hmm...does anything on this list sound familiar in a snz context??!?!?!?!
Wait, is this why things like pepper, cold temperatures, mint, spices, and strong smells make people sneeze?
It sure is! When certain TRP channels are activated, they send signals to your body that trigger protective reflexes (eg. sneezing and coughing) to get rid of the irritant. Everyone's cellular make-up is as unique as they are, and we all react and respond to external stimuli in different ways. Some people might only get a runny nose when exposed to cold temperatures, while for others it might trigger sneezing.
🌱 FUN FACT: There have been studies examining TRP channels in the nasal cavity and the role they might play in allergic rhinitis. There have also been studies on specific TRP receptors in the nasal mucosa comparing patients with and without allergenic rhinitis. There is even this study on the nasal effects of camphor, eucalyptus, and menthol!
Learning Tools and More Resources
See where plants grow on a map: Want to know where specific plants grow? Input the plant species (or the genus or family -- now that you know what that is!) into the search bar, and it will show you its global distribution range based on user-submitted data. You can also narrow results down to a specific area. Note: This data is compiled through user-submitted data and may be erroneous. For best results, filter search results using the “Research Grade Observation” option. While the results don’t provide insight on historical range, native vs. introduced species, it’s a great tool to get you started!
Pollen Allergen Tool: An interactive chart that shows common allergenic proteins and which plants produce pollens containing them.
Repeated Disclaimer ⚠️ The following resources are shared for information purposes only. Many plants, including some on these lists are extremely toxic, dangerous – or even deadly – if used, consumed, or prepared incorrectly.
Sternutatory Plants: A list of sternutatory plant species compiled by the USDA
Sternutatory Plants: A second list, compiled using various data sources.
This paper published in 2021 on the use of sternutatory plants in herbal medicine, TRP activity. and this banger of a quote:
"Sneezing had great significance and value throughout history; it exerted a strange fascination on humans"
I protest the use of past-tense, but alas. Folks, this paper is Snience (Snz Science) in action. If the following excerpt is any indication:
The End!!
THANK YOU for reading if you got this far, and congrats on making it to the end of this post! I hope you learned as much as you horned (if not more) and I hope this little guide can come in handy one way or another.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, if you ever have questions on any of these topics, please feel free to reply to this post (or send me an ask if you prefer to be anonymous) and I'll do my best to answer! 💚🌿
no. better idea. chronic stifler and germaphobe and KINK shane x ilya who gets him to do the most disgusting and overstimulating things. things he would never consider indulging in before, things he thought were only for fantasy.
shane discovers a new allergy at hayden’s, which isn’t a bad thing
1.9k includes snzfet shane, nsfw, indulgent ilya
August, 2017
Shane's afternoon hadn't been too eventful. He lounged around all morning after completing his run and workout, which gave him enough time to relax before he visited Hayden's.
The drive over to Hayden's was also uneventful. Shane was excited to see everyone though, it had definitely been a while.
Ilya was waiting for Shane back at the cottage. Shane wished Ilya could come—but there was absolutely no way Shane would risk his friendship with Hayden like that. Not yet, at least.
As Shane arrived at the Pike residence, he awkwardly walked to the door and rapped his knuckles on the soft blue-painted wood. The front of Hayden's yard was now decorated with a little pink bike, some newly bloomed flowers and a football. Shane loved seeing Hayden adapt to fatherhood. It was inspiring.
After three knocks at the door, Shane was welcomed in by a very tired-looking Jackie. She had just given birth in June. And was pregnant. Again.
"Jackie, hey. Thank you for inviting me," Shane gave her a little side hug, holding up a package of diapers in his other hand, resting on his hip.
"He comes bearing gifts? You're so sweet!" Jackie cooed, catching sight of the diapers once she pulled away from the welcoming hug.
Shane just smiled with a shy nod, putting them onto a shoe bench as he followed Jackie into the living room. "Mom said not to get wine this time, so."
Jackie grinned, "You think of every possible thing for everything. Rare for men these days."
"Hey!" Hayden said, acting offended as he heard a little bit of that. He welcomed Shane, giving him a hug. "God, I haven't seen you in forever. Can't wait to get back on schedule," Hayden patted Shane's back, kicking some toys out of Shane's way to clear a path.
"I know.. It's been, what? Two months? Sorry. I've been taking time for myself this summer," Shane rambled, giving little waves to Jade and Ruby on the couch.
Hayden shook his head, patting the countertop. "No biggie, I understand man. You've always been a hermit crab."
Shane sent Hayden a look, sitting with Jade and Ruby as they had a little plastic tea set on the coffee table.
Jackie was watching Arthur sleep on a baby cam that was in the kitchen while Hayden came over, flicking over to the hockey game that Shane came over to watch.
"I'm going to be so pissed if the Devils win, man," Hayden eyed the television, flopping down on an armchair.
"Language!" Hollered Jackie from the kitchen. "Language!" The kids echoed.
Hayden let out a long sigh, snapping his fingers at Shane. "Shane's a bad influence."
"I never swear," Shane's voice pitched a little, grinning as he rested back against the couch. He gave his nose a little rub, eyes on the score.
"Oh, come on.." Hayden mumbled, sounding extremely concerned as the Devils scored a goal. Hayden hated the New Jersey Devils.
Shane couldn't help but notice a gradual burning sensation in his sinuses. He had only just noticed it, which meant it couldn't have been happening too long.
He rubbed at his nose again, eyes on the television screen as he naturally analysed all of the players' moves.
"These guys, man! They're so awful," Hayden whined, hands theatrically signalling to the television.
Normally, Shane had a very hitchy start to his allergies. Managed to mainly stifle. Not this time tho.
Before he could even milk his voice box for a comeback, his nose erupted with a desperate sneeze.
"aATSCHUU!" Shane's whole body folded with it on the couch, quickly moving his arm up to try salvage the situation. What the fuck?
"Wow, bless you Hayd!" Jackie shouted from the kitchen, cooking them up some food.
Hayden scoffed in disbelief, eyeing Shane as if he'd just told him about his secret decade-long relationship with Ilya Rozanov. "Wrong guy."
Shane blinked, trying to regain control as he heard Jackie come padding up to the couch. "That was Shane? No way!" She cackled, hand over her mouth.
He couldn't even try to come up with an explanation or a thought of what was happening as another tore from his throat, "hHATSCHIEW! Ooh my god.." His body shook with it yet again, head already starting to throb.
The humour seemed to weep out of the room as Jackie came around the couch to see if Shane was okay, Jade and Ruby eyeing their uncle Shane with concern. "Holy ffff- are you alright? Jesus.." Hayden mumbled, sat forward in his armchair.
Shane nodded, ears red with humiliation. How had he let himself lose control like that? What even happened? "I'm okay.. ah. Sorry."
Jackie patted Shane's shoulder, going back into the kitchen. "I'll get you a good ol' ginger ale."
Shane sniffled, rubbing his eyes. Fuck, his eyes were burning.
"No need to cry, man. Hey.." Hayden mumbled and now sat next to Shane. Shane hadn't even noticed him getting up.
"I'm not— I'm not crying. I'm alright. I'll be okay in a minute," He mumbled, continuing to alternate between wiping his watery eyes and wiping his nose on his sleeve. This was so embarrassing.
Jackie came back with a ginger ale while Hayden had to reassure his girls that Uncle Shane was okay, taking them upstairs with their tea set.
Shane rubbed at his temples, trying to will away his symptoms. He was definitely on the edge of having an allergy attack. But from what? He'd only ever been a little reactive to a curl product that Ilya had used when sleeping over, rubbing the scent all over his pillows.
When Shane had first told Ilya about his kink, the Russian made it his life goal to indulge Shane and find something that Shane was allergic to. They struggled to find the one thing that really got him sneezing, the curl ointment only giving him the sniffles. Ilya luckily had pollen.
Shane didn't necessarily get off to his own sneezes, but the idea of getting doted on by Ilya entertained him. And maybe accidentally sneezing on him. Maybe.
"Fuck, Shane. What are you allergic to?" Hayden asked, watching as Shane took small sips from his ginger ale.
"I don't know.." Shane muttered shamefully, his nose practically humming with irritation. The hockey game was now at the back of everyone's minds.
Jackie sighed, trying to rack her brain for potential suspects. "He's never had a reaction like this here, Hayd. What have we changed?"
Shane smushed his knuckles against his nose, trying his best to stifle. “Nn'gshh— In'gsh! Ah.." God, he wanted to get home to Ilya.
Hayden swiped a hand through his hair, eyeing the house from where he stood. "Fuckfuck- um. Shit! The air fresheners!"
Jackie clicked her fingers. "Yes! Get him outside, Hayd. I'm gonna yank them all out."
Hayden quickly got to work on helping Shane into the backyard, even though Shane could still walk. Hayden had a habit of fretting over Shane. That's probably why they got along so well, being worrywarts with the people they cared about.
Meanwhile, Jackie took all of the four air fresheners out of their sockets around the house, tossing them into a bag and tying it up.
Jackie grabbed a spare roll of toilet paper, quickly stepping out to the garden.
"Lifesaver," Hayden watched as Jackie passed Shane the roll of toilet paper.
"I'm so sorry, Shane. We don't have any antihistamines or anything adjacent. None of us have allergies," Jackie explained, giving comforting rubs to Shane's back.
"S' okay.. I think I'm actually gonna head out. We can pick this up another time," Shane offered, dabbing his nose with the tissue as he stepped back inside with the Pikes.
Jackie gave Shane a ginger ale for the road. "So sorry about the turn of events, Shane. We're throwing those things away."
Shane nodded with multiple sniffles, holding the can and toilet roll. "See you both soon.. hopefully the Devils don't win," Shane waved, heading straight for his jeep.
"You can say that again. Drive safe!" Hayden hollered, waving Shane's jeep goodbye as the couple stepped back inside.
The car ride back to the cottage was now eventful. He was so sniffly and itchy and— a mess. Shane Hollander was a mess.
By the time his jeep pulled up to the cottage, he had blown out his nose for all its worth. And was still so stuffy. Wow.
Shane let himself in, eyes immediately fishing out for Ilya. "M' home," He croaked.
"Shane?" Ilya padded out of the room they slept in together, wearing a tank top with sweatpants. "Did you eat?" Ilya's hands found Shane's waist, his movement halting once he caught sight of Shane's face.
Shane's nose was pink and irritated, glossy at the rims.
"What happened to you?" Ilya asked, moving Shane's jaw to see his nose better.
"I was allergic to something at Hayden's house. An air freshener or whatever," Shane's eyes watered again at the thought of the allergen, nose flaring.
"God, you look wrecked. Come. I'll get you some of my antihistamines," Ilya held Shane's wrist.
Shane sniffled, "No."
"No?" Ilya repeated, his eyebrows raising.
Shane shifted from foot to foot, stomach feeling warm. He ignored the look of concern on Ilya's face, leaning in to capture his lips.
Ilya kissed back, because of course he did. He missed Shane.
The kiss was passionate, a kind of fire that Ilya hadn't seen in Shane since getting caught by David.
Ilya broke apart the kiss, eyeing Shane's eyes, nose and lips. "Oh, you're getting off on this? Were you hard at their house, huh?" His voice taunted, although his own stomach started to flip.
Shane cascaded his eyes, leaning into Ilya with a sniffle. "Need you."
Ilya moved Shane, guiding him to the couch like they did on their first day at the cottage. "Only a freak would be so.. turned on by his own suffering," Ilya mumbled, a smile painting his lips.
Shane whined, which made Ilya gasp subtly. Shane never whined.
"All of the air freshener particles must have stuck to your clothes," Ilya kissed Shane's jaw, down to his neck. "Poor baby. You're so allergic."
Shane actually groaned out at that, hips trying to buck up into Ilya. He needed some friction, god damnit. "Ilya.. please," He sniffled, lips parted so he could breathe through the congestion.
"You look like Rudolph. So pretty," Ilya nipped at the bumps of Shane's nipples through his shirt, continuing to kiss down and down. Ilya pulled up Shane's shirt with his teeth, undoing the Canadians jeans.
Shane coughed a little, moving his head left so as not to gross Ilya out. Ilya just continued, pulling down Shane's jeans enough to slip his dick out of his underwear.
"Aah," Shane whined at the sudden air on his boner, nose running down his lip as he'd left his tissue in his car. Ilya got to work, giving the tip some little licks before taking the head of Shane gently. It was more like a choreography with how well Ilya knew Shane's sexual language.
Shane moaned out, his voice tainted with congestion and hoarseness as he desperately clung to nearby pillows.
Ilya bobbed his head, sucking in his cheeks as he felt Shane already starting to throb under his tongue.
The Russian took everything that Shane provided, not wasting a drop as he eased off Shane, placing a gentle kiss on Shane's inner thigh.
Although just finishing, Shane's thighs began to tense after the orgasm. He couldn't help it. "Hah'ktSHHuu.. fuck. Ilya— I'm so sorry.."
"Big sneeze," Ilya blinked, having been at the mercy of Shane's spray. He looked up to the allergic boy, then back down at his dick beneath Ilya's chin that was now rapidly flooding with blood again.
"I.. have a suspicion you're not too sorry about that."
Y'all, I saw this nose nuzzle compilation posted by a vanilla and I absolutely could not repost it on this blog but you better believe I will re-upload it here for those of us with special interests lmao.
Like....christ. I could look at this for way too long.
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