Martina, First of Her Name, Bastard, Heathen

she/they. scorpio. gryffindor. call me martina, i guess! my blog is split into four things: cool art, cute animals, political commentary, and any fan content I think is cool or makes me laugh. if any of that appeals, shoot me a follow

[moniquill]

[scratch-meowt]

my hottest take

[keeper-of-the-flames]

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

[pusheenthenerdcat]

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

[maimonideznuts]

[pusheenthenerdcat]

yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety

(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i think about this every day

[nanotigercringefailnarwhal]

loaf with mama

[valtsv]

nothing in the world makes me more evil than just being kind of annoyed

[valtsv]

me when i’m in genuine agonising distress: i’m so sorry if i’m bothering you with my childish histrionics :/

me when i’m just in a bit of a bad mood: i hope hydrogen bombs fall on every living thing in the universe

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[hawkin-byrd]

what is this from

[graceofgosh]

the titanic

[truder]

I FUCKING FORGOT I QUEUED THIS

For all who celebrate man’s hubris!

[niceinchnails]

im having post-bit clarity

[philconnorz]

L+ratio+ lumpy bed+ ugly curtains+ pointless erection+ dried flowers+ damp towels+ no reception+ small towns+ tiny minds+ big mouths+ small ideas+ shallow talk+ deep snow+ cold fronts+ big rears ?

[celceta]

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hominishostilis-revenge]

Pack it in boys

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

[stargore]

ooh ooh or when they accidentally drop the phone or something and go “i dropped you! :(“ like. that little glowing box you’re waving around does indeed house my soul!! it’s me!! you’re holding me!!!! and we’re going on a little trip together!!! delightful!!!!!!!!

i love the suggestion that the device they are holding is my corporeal form. very silly and whimsical

[memewhore]

[voidsnout]

hold on let me google something

[voidsnout]

what the fuck

[triflesandparsnips]

happy Boston Molasses Flood to all who celebrate

[nymphoutofwater]

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

[loufofbread]

kitten

[loufofbread]

man. what on earth.

[loufofbread]

ok i flipped it. sorry

[draconym]

Being the only queer person in a room full of septuagenarians will have you feeling like a snake being passed around a room of elementary schoolers. Nothing makes me feel so much like I'm an ambassador animal as being introduced with, "this is Draconym, she prefers they and them pronouns."

[ozempicofficial]

[drtanner]

LOOK alright I know I've said some things about the French in the past, BUT.

If they do this I will be singing La Marseillaise in the fucking streets.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Like to charge. Reblog to cast.

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[thelifeandtimesofacrazyblond]

[thelifeandtimesofacrazyblond]

[foldingfittedsheets]

The excerpt paragraph made me look up and stare at my wife for three solid minutes waiting for them to return to the couch. I couldn’t move on with my life. I had to read it aloud to them to their audible disgust and then they read all the comments with unbridled delight.

Now we keep repeating “Like Zorro.”

[butterfly-sapphic]

"and" "and" "and" "and" "and"

[petzah394-deactivated20250503]

Yeah like it's not even just bad sex writing, it's bad writing in general. This looks like something I wrote, and that is not a compliment

[sinsinewave]

i think this post cured my self-doubt in my writing