TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (YOU):
WHAT FOLLOWS IS A NON-OPTIONAL REFRESHER ON RECENT KREWE EVENTS, AS MANDATED BY SENIOR ADMINISTRATIVE PERSONNEL; ALL EMPLOYEES ARE REQUIRED TO REVIEW CONTENT WITHIN THIS PACKET. REFUSAL WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE ADMISSION TO THE PAIN CUBE FOR A STANDARD ROTATIONAL CYCLE.
*Esteemed colleagues and underlings,
It has been a tumultuous three years since the establishment of our department; the Magistracy began it’s existence as a division comprised of only two individuals, the Magistrix, and myself. Since that time, the Magistracy’s numbers have swelled and ebbed with the vagaries of bureaucracy, arcane as they are..
But the Magistracy has stood strong, weathering it all. However, it has done so through not simple chance, but rather through the sacrifice of blood, sweat, and various other bodily secretions of yourselves and those around you. It is through these sacrifices, and through your unswerving sense of loyalty to the krewe that our department has seen fit to persist, and it is through them that we will forge a future brighter than a rapidly collapsing sub-space singularity.
It is in this atmosphere of administratively enforced congratulation that I must take the opportunity to remind the whole of you of what has transpired most recently, and how these events relate to our goals at hand. In the spirit of expeditiousness, I have condensed these topics into an easily digestible list.
1. We are still in pursuit of the renegade researcher, Tezzin. While we have no facial metrics to base around our search, all employees should not allow this to deter them in their efforts. Locating this individual is PRIORITY ONE.
2. Transdimensional fugitives are still on the loose following a break in subject containment. ‘Benefactor Raz’, along with several low-level detainees, were liberated by an unknown third party. All personnel should consider themselves on high alert.
3. Additionally, all employees are to remain on the lookout for the whereabouts of Intelligence Officer Thirri, who surreptitiously went missing shortly before the transdimensional prison break.
Certain other deleterious elements have been sighted since the incident, slinking about off-limits areas and shadowing krewemembers. While a conclusive identity has yet to be ascertained, glimpses of blue and gold seem to hint at some manner of unified structure behind these individuals.
4. In regards to the previously mentioned transdimensonals, all discussion on the matter is to be kept to an absolute minimum in the company of non-krewe personnel. Failure to cooperate with this stricture will result in a 24 hour stay in the Pain Cube.
5. While attacks on personnel by unknown outside parties have dwindled for the moment, a ban on uniforms while off-duty is still encouraged. If an aggressor accosts you while out of uniform, activate your transponder and attempt to flee the scene immediately.
6. The efforts to establish a base camp within the Maguuma Wastes are still underway. If you have received or requested a work assignment, proceed to the coordinates enclosed in your datapacket and report for duty.
7. Voting for renaming the Pain Cube is currently underway. Swing by Teokkin’s desk and cast your vote today! First five votes earn a free meal ticket at Syn-Tax! Syn-tax; the hottest beats and the coldest drinks this side of the equator!
Bearing all of these points in mind, allow this missive to close with my earnest congratulations on executing our most productive year this far. Endure in your works, and it is my firm belief that nothing may stand against our inexorable march towards progress!
tangentwithtanner
areudirty
annaxmalina
