spunkyintrovert

desperately seeking a sense of self and my sanity...

[kolakolenikky]

Ah the colors of pumpkins and sunflowers.. what best colors to say fall is here? 😀

[kolakolenikky]

Man, been a long while again. So much changed. We bought a house and moved. Went back to Az&Ut to visit for the summer. My baby is now in kindergarten (how fast they grow!)

It been a crazy year alright. I've still been struggling with my mental health but I've been managing.

[kolakolenikky]

I enjoyed playing outside with my lil yesterday. This her beautiful chalk art. She said the house is thinking, "I like my house."

Other than that got more medical test done so hoping that some answers will shake itself out. *crossing my fingers* 😬😅

[diaryofandnwoman]

REPRESENTATION MATTERS!

What an inspiring image! Representatives Christina Haswood and Ponka We-Victors work traditional native Regalia to be sworn into office in the Kansas House of Representatives. Bravo!

“It was important for everyone to see that we Indigenous peoples are still here, and in rooms such as the Kansas House Chamber, any attempt to dehumanize or attack Native peoples, did not work and will continue to fail,” Haswood says. “Also, I wanted to show all the other Indigenous folks that we belong here, and you too can become a lawmaker for your state. Because when I was growing up, I never saw Natives in political positions outside of tribal politics.”

[kolakolenikky]

Ah christmas vibing!

Glad to be mentally present and enjoy my loves.

Merry Christmas everyone!

[kolakolenikky]

[kolakolenikky]

Watch "Fibromyalgia workout for beginners" on YouTube

[kolakolenikky]

So more changes have been happening and more around the corner. Whew! Stressed. Lol

My baby is in school now. She's like a little turtle cuz her bag pack is so big. She's so tiny to me that I wanna keep her from the world still but she's more than ready to be out there. I so love her so and pray for her constantly when she's out of sight.

[kolakolenikky]

Downtown Fort Worth

We went on a walk on Tuesday Aug 4th. It was hot and humid but despite the weather, Amara and I, enjoyed our time there. She just loved being outdoors and running after squirrels. 😆

Later, we also went to the park when Amara new friend F*(8) called. First time ever, that we have someone to do a playdate with. Her sister (19) calls us now when they are at the park and Amara gets so excited. I'm still uncomfortable and awkward since I'm such an introvert and very closed in, but I'm adjusting sorta... 😅

[kolakolenikky]

The COVID did not mess it all up. Thankfully.🙏

But alas, it's been a rocky few months. I'd say the amount of things happening in the world was really affecting myself and my little family.

I'm still reeling from it all. The recent is the whole #findvanessaguillien. It was horrible following the story and it ending it up as it did. As a fellow sister in arms, I just cant even tell ya the amount of devastation and all the feels I was in.

I made an appt with my counselor so we shall see how I'll be in a couple weeks.

[kolakolenikky]

I didnt account for the COVID - 19 tho!

Fuuuuudddgeee

P.s. I shall let ya kno if them microscopic buggers messed it all up.

[kolakolenikky]

Spring is here! & my hubby comes home in a few days!!!

We did a whole YEAR apart. It was the hardest year for sure. It was also the first time my daughter was apart from her dad. The episodes she had over missing him and just the hard nights.

Also the insecurities I have, I've been trying to let go. It's hard tho.. is he going to like me still? Will he be annoyed by me? Am I still beautiful to him? Etc all rolling in my head...

But then I thought, we waited a whole year for each other.

Thru it all we waited!

After that I was like, I'll be okay, we will be okay. We did a year and we are stronger for it.

[kolakolenikky]

Omg! The hell hole trailhead was aptly named. It sure was hell to get out of there. Lol. I was exhausted!!

Since it rained the day prior mother earth was so vibrant. It was all so gorgeous.

Ah its was just one of those days. One that buzzes in ya for a while.

[kolakolenikky]

Today was the worst for me. I woke up and flashes of memories came...😓😓

Then I tried doing CPT worksheet on it. The challenging one.. well then my day turned into complete spiral.

I literally had to pick myself off the bed and made myself take a walk with my daughter. [Who btw said I was mean mommie, and a sad mommie💔💔 which made me feel like the lowest of the low]

I then did all my favorite things even as I struggled to stay grounded, and mindful of myself. Even then I still thought the worst but not enough to call help.🙏

So now its after midnight and I'm not okay but I'm okay if that makes sense. Another new day, another day to be alive.

[kolakolenikky]

Oh! Feeling all sorts today. I'm all extreme like I'll go on a six month social media hiatus... but then I'm like I won't be seen and I wont be up on everything like everyone else. So.. Idk...

I'm unsure but I did sign out of everything and just doing it today. I figure I'll start that way and see how it goes.

I'm gonna be so busy with my life changing again. My babe is coming home finally. A year, is sure a long time. I know from many experiences there is going to be an adjustment for me, him, and now for our daughter. [Her first separation]

I pray and hope it be one to bring us more together and not apart.

[kolakolenikky]

It was one fine day. ❤

I'm from the arizona side on the Navajo Nation and I visited my childhood home that I partly grew up in. Yup! I sure acted like I was 10 again. Sledding my heart out. We then warmed up besides the fire after.

Its surreal thinking of my past and then watching my daughter running amok like I once did.

[goodreadss]

William A. Slaughter