â ËËË Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader
â ËËË Summary: Youâre horny af one night so you login to your fave hook-up app for a quick fix. You match with Min Yoongi, expecting a cocky rapper with a filthy mouth, but instead, you get a soft-spoken man in a designer shirt and a gummy smile. He keeps asking you out, but thereâs no kiss, no sex, nothing. Each date winds you up tighter than the last, your patience (and your lingerie) hanging by a thread, and now you canât tell whatâll snap first: his restraint or your self-control.
â ËËË Genre: Fluff, smut, strangers to lovers, non idol
â ËËË Warnings: 18+ MDNI, eventual smut...
â ËËË Chapter Warnings: Yoongi in a suit⊠and his birthday suit! Aye! Eventual smut is here! Kissing, ass play, spanking, lots of spanking actually, pain kink, choking with the use of a necktie, unprotected p in v (wrap before you tap), creampie, oral sex, overuse of the pet name baby (as per ush), just hella smut because I made y'all wait for 7 chapters, tell me if i missed anything
â ËËË Word count: 6.5k !!!
â ËËË Betaread by: Tea and Aqua <3 Thank you so much for your brilliant ideas and support. Canât do this without you!
â ËËË Notes: OH HERE WE GO. The chapter you hot & bothered girlies have been waiting for. Itâs kind of a long one. Reblogs to follow. Please enjoy~
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Date No. 7: The Birthday Suit
Oh this ate.
Youâre appraising yourself in the mirror, a smile spread across your glossy lips in satisfaction.
The black dress youâre wearing is from a recent pull-out, the designer being one of your industry friends. Itâs off the rack but somehow fits you like it was tailored with intent. A slit reveals just enough leg when you walk. The bodice molds your breasts like they were measured for it. Tae called it Bridgerton boobs when you Facetimed him earlier just to vibe check.
You like this look. Sexy, sophisticated. You hope Yoongi likes it, too. Because well, you like Yoongi. No question. You like him a lot.
Heâs been amazing these past few days, doting on you regularly as if youâre harboring a more serious disease and not just dysmenorrhea. He even came over once, offering you hot soup and even hotter kisses, before he had to go back to his studio.
You do wonder how to move things along. How to progress.Â
Seokjinâs birthday party seems like the perfect night for it.
The restaurant is glowing when you arrive. Low golden lights, crisp linens, florals arranged. Itâs full without feeling crowded, laughter spilling from every corner, wine glasses clinking softly. It feels warm and alive.Â
And then you see him. And if you wolf whistle what will his friends think of you?
Yoongiâs posted up near the bar in a dark suit that looks custom-made for ruining your panties. Terrible, really. His jet-black hair falls in soft waves like he woke up unfairly handsome on purpose. He flips his jacket backwards and plants his hands on his hips, flashing a gunmetal Valentino belt holding up pants you are already mentally kicking off him and onto the bedroom floor.
He turns the moment your gaze heats up the side of his face. And for a second, he just stares. Just looks at you like all the thoughts swirling in your brain are also swimming in his.
Then, his mouth curves into a slow, devastating smirk.
âFuck,â he says when you reach him, voice low, eyes unapologetic as they track you from head to toe. âYou look⊠unreal.â
You lean forward and press your cheek against his and you feel his arm circle your lower back lightly. A kiss would have been nice, but you think Yoongiâs not one for PDA, especially in a classy place like this.
âYou look hot. But I think you know that alreadyâŠâ you raise a brow, then glance down to the bartop where 11 digits and a name are written on a piece of napkin.Â
Huh.
Women move fast. But wait, heâs not embarrassed that you clocked this. Not one bit. This cocky mf wanted you to know that heâs been wanted.
His tongue skirts his bottom lip, failing to prevent a shit-eating grin from forming.Â
Was it to make you jealous? Because youâre not. But a twitch inside your chest and a little further south says otherwise.
Youâre still not saying anything, still locked in a staring match. Cat-like eyes study you from the rim of a lowball. Youâre unfazed, waiting for him to say or do something.
Suddenly, you see a flash movement from the corner of your eye. Jin, the man of the hour, spots you from across the room and makes a dramatic beeline over, grin wide and pleased.
âYou made it,â he says, eyes flicking briefly to your dress. âI was worried Yoongi would fuck things up before my birthday.â
Yoongi warns. âHyung.â
You laugh. âHeâs been a good boy. Mostly.â
The napkinâs still there.
âLies,â Jin says cheerfully. âBut Iâm glad youâre here.â
âWouldnât miss the birthday of Yoongiâs favorite hyung,â you reply.Â
âCareful,â he warns with a delighted grin, glancing between you and Yoongi. âYou know he has an older brother.â
âWell itâs not his birthdayâŠâ
âAh.â He wags a finger. âYouâre already my favorite guest.â
A heavy palm is deposited on Jinâs shoulder making him tilt sideways. âBehave, hyung.â
âI refuse.â
âThe place is beautiful,â you say, just to change the topic, smiling as you scan the room, but fully unaware of the staring match the two boys are having.
âYou fit right in,â Jin replies coolly and when you glance back he has a very sticky top 5 bachelor kinda grin waiting for you.
Hang on. Is Jin flirting with you right now? In front of Yoongi?
The stare your not-boyfriend is giving Jin could melt the polar ice caps. But Jin is non-plussed.
âCâmon⊠is it not my birthday, Yoongi-yah? Let me have my fun.â Jin says, eyes still bright with mischief.
Yoongi doesnât even look rattled. He exhales through his nose, something close to a laugh, and replies evenly, âHave all the fun you want, hyung.â Then, without breaking eye contact, he adds, âbut donât you have other guests to attend to?â
Itâs said casually, but Yoongiâs hand slips to the small of your back as he speaks, warm and firm, drawing you closer until your hip fits neatly against his.
Jinâs grin sharpens, reverting to you. âSee? Heâs learning.â
As Jin peaces out, you feel the press of Yoongiâs thumb at your waist, and it hits you then: how funny it is that earlier you clocked that napkin on the bar, the number scribbled like a quiet provocation. But standing here now, tucked into his side, you realize the balance has shifted.
If anyoneâs being quietly undone tonight, itâs him. And judging by the way his fingers flex once at your back, dipping a little lower, this evening is about to get a lot less polite, if you play your cards right.
âSo what was that about?â You move to sit on the bar stool, placing your clutch on the bar top.
âWhat?â
âYou and Jin, talking in telepathy. I noticed that too the first time you took me here.â
Yoongi sighs like he is already tired of talking to and about his hyung. You know itâs just poorly masked affection. âYou met at the magazine shoot, right?â
You hum.
âAnd he got your numberâŠâ
You nod.
Truthfully, you donât remember a lot about that day. It was a full day that started at 4 in the morning and Jin was the last of the lot when your energy reserves had almost whittled down to zilch. But still you remember the rack of delicious strawberries and the nice banter with Jin that came easily. He seemed like a solid guy so you didnât mind matching his vibe even though you were dead tired.
âYeah, I guess he said he needed a stylist for future projects.â
âHe, umm, gave me your number after that actually. Told me about this cute stylist that hummed my song who seemed pretty cool.â
âYour song?â
âEight. I produced it.â
OhâŠ
Your favorite song. Well one of. But still. Didnât you play it on your hiking date?Â
âThatâs amazing.â You quip, but then your smile twists into a pout. âBut you never texted me?â
âHonestly? I wasnât really looking to start something with anyone back then.â He exhales through his nose. âBut they kept pushing me to put myself out there.â
âFair.â
âJin-hyung loves to remind me that he found you first.â
âYou know, I do find him⊠handsome.â You dangle the last word just to see his reaction.
He shrugs it off. Casual. But certain. âDoesnât matterâŠâ
âIs that right?â
âHe may have met you first, but,â Yoongiâs leaning in close, lips brushing your ear just enough to send a shiver down your spine. âWe both know whoâs gonna fuck you first.â
Oh shit.
Food and drinks were amazing as to be expected from a Michelin star restaurant. And the company is also wonderful. Thereâs no awkwardness. No sense of being an outsider. Yoongiâs people greet you easily, already warm from your previous interactions. Namjoon pulls you into a conversation about wine pairings like youâve always been part of the group. Hoseok compliments your dress with zero subtlety and a dramatic hand to his chest. Jimin hands you a drink you didnât ask for but absolutely wanted.
Taehyung arrives fashionably late and immediately steals attention, but instead of hovering near you or Yoongi, heâs pulled almost instantly into chaos with Jungkook and Jimin. Within minutes, theyâre deep in conversation, already laughing like theyâve known each other forever.
Later, you catch Taeâs eye across the room. His grin is boxy and genuine.
You smile. Yoongi notices.
âLooks like your best friendâs doing fine.â
âYeah. Knew he would. Heâs a social butterfly.â
âAnd you? Are you having fun?â
âYeah,â you admit softly. âI really am.â
His fingers trace a slow, absent line along your waist, thumb brushing the edge of your dress like it belongs there. You lean into him, instinctive.
âIâm glad,â he says. âI want you here. With me.â
The words land heavier than he probably intends.
As the night winds downâdessert plates cleared, candles burning lowâyou find yourself standing with him near the edge of the room, his arm draped loosely around your shoulders, your hand resting at his side. Itâs comfortable. Intimate. Unquestioned.
You look up at him.
Heâs already looking at you.
âCome home with me tonight.âÂ
Itâs not a question, but the tiny raise of his brow tells you he is waiting for your response.
âYeah. Iâd love to.â
And finally It feels like the next chapter opening. The beginning of the part youâve both been craving for.
âYoongi⊠fuckââ
He pulls you back into his chest with a firm grip, one hand sliding possessively around your waist while the other tugs at the ribbons of your dress, fingers confident and unhurried as if he studied how quickly he can unwrap you all night. You wouldnât put it past him.
His mouth finds the slope of your neck, tongue dragging hot and slow against your skin, leaving you gasping before he latches onto the tender spot just above your collarbone.
Youâre so wrapped in the heat of his tongue and the low sounds he makes in your ear, you donât even notice the top of your dress slipping downâuntil the cool air hits your bare skin and his hands are suddenly there.
Warm palms cup your tits, his thumbs brushing over your nipples, letting it snag against his blunt nails. You whimper, hips canting back, and he groans at the sound, mouth moving to your ear. He sucks your earlobe between his lips, then lets it go with a soft pop, his breath fanning across your cheek.
Goosebumps rise all over your skin, and youâre falling apart with every single touch.
You donât know how you made it to his bedroomâyou donât even really know what it looks likeâjust remember stumbling backward with him chasing your mouth, pulling at your dress until itâs on the floor.
Heâs still fully clothed, but his eyes are dark and wild now.
You pull him back in for a kiss thatâs all tongue and teeth and breathless sounds. He groans when you bite his lip.
âYou look way too good in this,â you murmur, fingers curling lightly at his collar, tugging him close. âBut I want it off.â
You press your hands to his chest, feeling the crisp fabric of his suit jacket beneath your palms. You slide your hands up to his shoulders and push the jacket backward, watching it slip down his arms and drop soundlessly to the floor behind him.
He tilts his head. âYou wanna help me?â
âMmm⊠No,â you say, stepping back just a little, biting your bottom lip playfully. âI wanna watch you.â
He chuckles, the sound low and deep in his throat.
God, you need this moment to loop in your brain. Watching Yoongi undress for you may just be your favorite fucking thing in the universe.
He tugs the knot of his tie loose with practiced fingers and your mouth dries at the flex of his neck. You donât look away for a secondânot when he slides it out from under his collar, not when he lets it dangle from his fingers beforeâŠ
He drapes the necktie around your neck like a leash and pulls you towards him, your body following without resistance.
âMine,â he says and you draw a breath, kind of dumbstruck as he tightens the fabric just ever so slightly. You wear it like a medal.
Your eyes follow every motion as he pops open the top button of his shirt, then the next, and the next, each one revealing more milky skin, more of the toned planes of his chest. By the time he reaches the fourth button, youâre already reaching out, greedy and unable to wait any longer. You slide your hands under the open placket, pushing the shirt off his shoulders and down until it pools at his feet.Â
His belt and trousers follow, falling with a heavy clink. Heâs bare now, save for the black boxer-briefs clinging to his hips, a trail of hair disappearing and leading into a noticeable bulge.
Oh.
Your eyes rake over him shamelessly. âFuck you, actually.â
He raises a brow. âWhat?â
âYou made me wait so long,â you mutter, running your hands down his chest, over the pebbled tips of his dusky nipples. âI could just devour you right now.â
He grins. âWeâre here now, arenât we?â
You maneuver him onto the bed, letting the mattress catch his weight before you climb over him. He has this wry smile on his face, like heâs letting you do this, take command temporarily, and you have a feeling he's switching up on you when you least expect it. Still, your thighs straddle his hips, heat pooling low as you sink downâbarely clothed, but completely burning.
Your fingers twist into his hair as you rock against the hard line of him, both of you groaning into each other's mouths at the friction.
"Fuck, you feel so good,â he rasps, low and labored.
His hands are on your ass, your waist, your thighs, your tits, your hair, any surface he can grab on to. You donât know whatâs come over either of you. Itâs gotten frantic and uncoordinated fastâthe kind of desperation that only months of holding back could breed. You grind harder, now chasing your high shamelessly. But finally, he comes to his senses, planting both hands on your waist to ease you off his pelvis.
âBaby, stopâwe gotta slow down.â he says, voice strained but resolute. âPlease.â
You collapse against his shoulder, laughing through the burn of your need, body still thrumming. âOh my god.â
Because youâre both a mess. Slick with sweat and arousal, tangled in each other, like horny teenagers dry humping in your parentsâ basement with zero shame and zero game.
âThis is your fault.â You boop the tip of his nose with your index finger.
âHow is it my fault?â
You huff dramatically. âWhy didnât you fuck me on our first date? Were you not into me?â
âIt was the first date,â he replies, like that should be obvious. He really is such a gentleman.
âAnd the second?â you press, eyes narrowing.
âWe had raw fish,â he says flatly. âLots of it.â You donât know if thatâs a valid one, but you let it slide, because you want to hear his answers for the rest.
âThird? We literally made out in the club.â
âNah, you were out of it. I was, too. Wouldnât be right.â
âFourth?â you challenge, now counting on your fingers.
âIt was mid-workday,â he counters. âYou were still on the clock.â
You smirk, leaning in closer. âRather be on the cock.â
Yoongi groans, dragging a hand down his face. âJesus Christââ
âFifth date?â you fire back, unfazed. âYou were super handsy. Donât even deny it. Thought you were gonna finger me on the trail.â
âWas about to, yeah, if the maknaes didnât crash our date. Your body was insane in those leggings.â He licks his bottom lip, hands spreading over your thighs before giving the plush flesh a firm squeeze. âBut, you already know I strained my back from our descent.â
âThought it was your knees?â
âShut up,â he grits, tickling your sides, making you squirm. âBoth hurt like a bitch. I guess Iâm getting too old for it. And before you mention the sixth, I blame Taehyung.â
You nod, sighing. âI got my period too. Thatâs on me.â
Yoongi looks at you, voice suddenly softer. âWouldnât have minded if you really wanted it.â
You pause, eyes searching his. âYoongi?â
âDoesnât it help with cramps or some shit?â He just stares back, gaze quiet and sure. âI was reading something about it last week.â
Shit, why do you feel so shy?Â
âI donât even know what to say about that.âÂ
His fingertips trail the curve of your breasts, catching on your nipples and giving them a soft pinch that sends a jolt straight to your core. âTruth is? I didnât stand a chance with you. I would've given you anything you asked for.â
You're gushing again, breath shaky as you inch closer, lips brushing against his. âExcept your cock.â
âDonât dwell on the past, baby.â He smiles against you before he slides his lips fully against yours, hungry and messy, licking into your mouth like he is savoring the taste of you.
Air leaves your lungs when he sucks your tongue and continues to roll your nipples between his fingers, your hips bucking haplessly to feel the friction of fabric against your clit.
âYoongiâŠâ
âMm?â
âNeed you⊠need to feel you inside me.â
Yoongiâs eyes flash. He reaches toward the nightstand, but before he can grab what you know heâs after, your hand wraps around his wristâgentle but firm. A silent message.
âOh?â His brow quirks, a snarl unfurling. âYou nasty, huh?â
When he says it like that? Youâre a blushing mess, but you press on. âIâm on the pill. And Iâm clean.â
He licks his bottom lip once, before that infuriating smirk takes over. âGot it. You want it raw?â
âStop teasing me,â you whine, squirming against him, but heâs got you locked in his embrace. âI havenât fucked in so long Iâm basically a virgin againâŠâ
âYouâre soââ Yoongi lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. âYouâre insane.â
âI havenât fucked in so long I self-cleaned like a Roomba.â
He chuckles, lopsided and low. âOh, youâre just full of jokes tonight.â
âRather be full of cum.â
That earns you another groan. âNah,â he decides, eyes darkening. âYou know what? I think I need to have my fun first. You gonna let me?â
You nod, half-sure.Â
Then he tugs you gently by the tie still hanging on your neck, making you lock into his deep eyes. âDo you trust me?â
âYes.â
âIf it gets too much, letâs use a safeword.â
âSugar cube.â
âPerfect,â He nips your lip. âIâm gonna make you feel so good, baby.â
Before you can process what all that means, heâs moving youâeffortlessly maneuvering your body until youâre draped over his lap, ass up, like some bratty girl about to be taught a lesson.
Wait. Are you?
Shit.
You gasp as his palm smooths over your skin, gliding over the soft curve of your ass, dipping briefly between your thighs before moving back up. Just the weight of his hand, big and warm, is enough to unravel you. Then, he slips his fingers under your panties, grabbing a fistful of your flesh, squeezing it like a squish toy.
âFuck, this assâŠâ
You let out a breathy moan, loving the roughness, the way he handles you like youâre just his favorite plaything.
But thenâcrack!
He slaps the underside, quick and unexpected. You yelp, high-pitched and breathless, your hips jerking forward against the bed. The sting is sharp, and youâre suddenly feeling so fucking alive, Hs palm then cups the same spot, massaging it gently.Â
Then, another slap. Sharper. You cry out again, not from shock, but because of the force. Your hips twitch, because it hurts and your body is anticipating the ache. But once again, he follows with a slow, delicious rub that makes your tippy toes curl. Itâs messing with your headâthe strike and the soothe that follows.
âMy baby sounds so pretty like this,â he murmurs, voice rich with amusement. âYou like it, donât you?â
You bury your face in the pillow, breath catching. âFuck⊠yeah. I like it.â
âMm,â he hums, dragging his fingers along the curve of your thigh. âGood. Cos Iâm just getting started.â
You could die from anticipation and arousal. Thankfully, Yoongi doesnât make you wait long. He tugs your panties snug between your cheeks, the fabric biting deliciously into the heat of your skin. Itâs filthy, the way it exposes you even more, the way he takes his time to admire your body.
âYouâre dripping, babyâŠâ he murmurs, almost to himself. Like heâs marveling. Like heâs proud.
Of course youâre dripping, is he joking? But you bite your tongue since you are already in a precarious position. A whimper huffs out when his nails drag lightly, just barely, across your flushed skin. Thenâsmack!
Another sharp slap, perfectly placed, and the burn flares through your body like a live wire. Your cunt clenches around nothing, your breath ragged and a little desperate.
âGod damn,â he mutters, smoothing a hand over the mark, admiring his handiwork.
You groan into the pillow, aching, but aching for more. âYoongi, please.â
âDonât worry, baby,â he leans down, kissing your bruised backside gently. âIâm gonna give it to you, but can you take a few more?â
âYes, I want moreâŠâ You really do. Youâll even count if he asks. The need is overwhelming, to be so good for him. Like hisâ
âGood fuckinâ girl.â He pulls your panties down gently, making sure the lace doesnât drag across the redness.
But he is a menace, letting the fabric settle by your knees and not removing it all the way. His hand is splayed at the tops of your ass cheek, shaking it like he is wanting to go into hypnosis.
âI love your ass.â
âReally? I didnât noticeâŠâ
âDonât be a brat.â Yoongi chuckles, and another thwack lands on your cheek, the pain duller, but deeper. Itâs blossomed now, like a bruise you want to keep poking just to feel it again. Tears start to blur your vision but when you expect another spank, it doesnât arrive. Instead, a finger prods your slick folds and soon enough, his bony knuckles breach your entrance.
Fuck, finally. Fuck.
 A strangled moan escapes your parted lips.Â
Itâs relief. But itâs also unlocking a hunger, all-consumming and urgent, to take more.
His index moves in and out of you, while his other hand slaps and makes your ass jiggle. He adds his middle digit to your sloppy center, the squelches of being finger-fucked filling the room.
The feeling is unfamiliar, but divineâthis cocktail of pain and pleasure. Brain shutting down, you already know itâs not going to take long before you reach your peak.
You crane your neck to catch a glimpse of him. So fuckinâ sexy, his lips are flushed from being bitten, jaw tense with focus as he works your body with single-minded intent, determined to push you right to the edge of euphoria.Â
He catches your eye, still at it, then he tilts head, âStill trust me?â
âYesâŠâ
Youâre curious now. Like what other tricks does he hâHoly shit.
Suddenly his thumb is pressed against your rim, rubbing it in tight circles as his other hand continues to assault your pussy with his fingers.
âFeels nice.â You breathe out, mind melting in bliss.
âYeah? Wanna feel nicer?â
His thumb, glossy from the slick gushing from your cunt, slips inside your tight ring of muscle.
âAh shiiiit!â You wail, raw and animalistic, hips jerking reflexively.
What the hell? You donât expect the blinding rush of pleasure from being penetrated there.
âYoongi, fuckâ Iâm coming.â
And in the multitude of sensations, in the countless layered shades of want, need, and something deeperâyou hear the single thing that cuts through it all: his command.Â
âCome.â
Your body locks up, thighs trembling as your orgasm hits you, sharp and blinding, until it feels like stars are bursting behind your lids. The high is so celestial, it almost feels like you slipped out of your body for a second and came undone somewhere above. When you come down, every muscle melts at once.
Yoongiâs voice is the first thing that reaches you again, soft with praise as he lifts you gently from his lap and lays you down on your belly, careful and tender.
His pretty face comes into view beside yours, lying on his side. âHow was that, baby?â
â10 out of 10, no notes,â you slur, still drifting in and out of your zone, but locked in enough to ask for what you really wanted. âSo can you fuck me now?â
Brows scrunching, Yoongi lets out a soundless chuckle that makes his shoulders shake. âCan you even move?â
âNo⊠but you can hit it from the back.â
Yoongi doesnât answer, but his boxers disappear, thickened cock flopping against his soft tummy.
Look. If dicks had beauty pageants, Yoongiâs would take the crown. Long, with the kind of girth that makes your lips split just thinking about it; it leans just a tad to the right, curling enough to hit the spot. A prominent vein runs along the underside, flushed deep purple, leading to a tip thatâs glistening. Itâs the kind of cock that you need inside you, like yesterday.
Glad you didnât overreact. Actually, no. You do. You literally dive for it as if someone else might snatch it away any second, gripping his shaft with a little too much gusto. Yoongi groans from deep within his chest, before letting out an amused chuckle. Yeah, his ego has increased ten-fold with your antics.
You shimmy your body towards him, hoisting your body with both palms to make the cushion dip. You let a trail of warm saliva drip from your lips, coating his cockhead, before your mouth descends upon him in one smooth stroke.
âHell yeah,â he tips his head back, exposing the line of his throat and the tendons flexing in his neck.
Your mouth is watering again, making spit dribble down his length. Itâs disgusting how you're blowing him so sloppy, lips wrapping in a tight seal around his cock and slick fingers on parts you canât mouth over yet.
"Knew youâd be good at that," he murmurs, one hand scrunching your hair as he guides your gaze up to himâjust so you can see how much heâs relishing the way his cock bulges against your cheek. âYou dirty girl.âÂ
Maybe you too have tricks up your sleeves. In one fluid motion, your tonsils kiss his mushroom tip and you swallow, gagging against it, salty with pre-cum.
Chest heaving, Yoongi drops your hair to pool on the side of your shoulders as his breathing gets more ragged. âOh fuckââ
You bob faster, sucking the velvety skin at the base and keeping the suction until his head rubs at the roof of your mouth. Heâs so close, you can feel it in the stuttered cadence of his breathing. In the way his hips are lifting from the cushions, helping you take him deeper.
Do you? Should you� The question whether to finish him off like this is answered with a slight tug of your hair, before you ease off him with a wet pop.
You look at your masterpiece. His already huge dick seems to have grown in size, so hard it looks painful, the tip flushed an angry crimson.
He heaves a heavy exhale, as if he read your mind. âIâm fuckinâ close, but I been waiting on that pussy.â
âItâs yours.â You swipe a knuckle on the side of your lips, nodding. âHow do you want me?â
âJust like that,â he smirks. âYou donât gotta move a muscle.â
Yoongi hovers behind you, his palms smoothing firmly down your back, then eases up as it travels down the globes of your ass, still flushed and stinging from his earlier assault.
Lying on your belly, you gasp as he takes you from behind, cock still swathed in your saliva to plunge inside your sopping pussy with little to no resistance.
You squirm, cheeks still raw, stinging with every movement as he bounces against your ass. The pain is starting to feel addictive, but still your body writhes with each pump of his pelvis.
âRelax baby, I want it all the way in,â he presses a quick kiss on your shoulder, gentle as ever, before he bucks hard and bottoms the fuck out, taking you by surprise.
You scream, pornographic and loud. It hurts, but it hurts good, and your body is simply not yours anymore. Youâve relinquished it to Yoongi as every push of his cock drags heat around your every vertebrae, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
Yoongi sits on his heels and hoists your ass up, stuffing a pillow between you and his bed before heâs pounding you again.
The change of angle lessens the friction against your burning cheeks but it doesnât stay that way for long.
Like a man possessed, he pistons into you at a consistent pace, smack after smack landing on your ass before he grips you by the hips and really goes to town.
Your vision mists at the edges, the grip you have on his sheets tight enough to crumple the fabric as you hold on for dear life.Â
âYoongi⊠shit⊠YoongiâŠâ
âKeep saying my name like that⊠fuckinâ love it.â
âYoongi, I wanna cum so badâŠâ you babble. âPlease, baby, I canât take it anymore.â
âPlay with your clit, baby. Rub it for me just how you like itâŠâ
You slip a clammy finger between your folds, the motion of him rocking into you enough to stimulate your delicate nub deliciously.
You moan, twitching, already teetering on the edge of delirium. Every inch of your skin feels scorched, like youâd peel it from your bones if it meant finding the slightest relief.
And just when you think youâre spiraling too far to come back, it hitsâyour breath catches, chest tightening, airways constricting.
Yoongi yanks the necktie back, forcing your body into a perfect arch, spine bowed, helpless to anything but sensation. Â
âCome with me, baby,â he grunts.
You choke, already dizzy, lightheaded, then he thrusts deep, one final time, and releases.
His climax tears through him, taking you with him in a blinding crash as you feel the warmth of his cum flooding your walls. And just like that the grip on the fabric loosens, and air rushes back into your lungs like salvation.
Your body floats in a haze of something close to euphoria. Thereâs something warm and fluffy expanding in your chest, tingling across your skin.
Youâre unable to put it into words how perfect it is to be so thoroughly seen, touched, wanted by Yoongi.
And itâs not just the high of your multiple orgasms (though that was a beautiful bonus). It really is the ache in your ribs from breathless laughter, the tender kisses he plants on your forehead, the gentle way he hugs you tight. Everything else in the world is secondary.
You bury your face on the pillow, thoughts clouding your mind. When you open them again, Yoongi is already moving carefully around the room.Â
You wince slightly when the gentlest cloth dabs your skin clean. Heâs working quietly, just the soft sweep of fabric along your ass, your legs.Â
Then comes the shirt, placed over your head to replace the sinful accessory, and a loose pair of boxers he eases up your legs. Both smell like Downy and home.
Youâre quiet, too. Words unable to assemble and be spoken out loud, lest it breaks the fragility of the moment. So focused on after care, Yoongi brings a straw up to your lips. You blink at him, as cool water douses your ragged throat, and he gives you a look so tender it knocks the breath from your lungs.
âThank you, baby. You were perfect,â he says softly, brushing a kiss to your forehead. âSo good for me. Every second.â
He doesnât just kiss you onceâhe kisses your lips, your jaw, your collarbone, the hollow of your throat, the corner of your eye. Loving and gentle, not to stoke the dying coals, but to soothe and settle your fiery heart.Â
Eventually, he tucks you beneath the covers and slides in beside you, curling his body around yours. You donât even try to fight the sleep thatâs pulling you under as his arms wrap solidly around your waist.
And as you pillow your heads together in the quiet, you finally understand why this feels different, unlike anything with any other partner. This wasnât just sex. This is trust. This is respect. This is intimacy. Real and raw.
The kind you didnât think was meant for people like you. Until him. Until now.
EPILOGUE
Date no. 8: The Satin Pajamas
âWhat are you wearing?â You plant both hands on your hips.
âMy pajamas.â Yoongi responds, deadpan. Heâs reading a book, eyeglasses perched on top of his shiny button nose.
âLet me rephrase that. What are you wearing and why are you trying to seduce me?â
He smirks, still doesnât look up. âIâm doing no such thing, baby.â
The pajamas. Theyâre dark gray and satin and a matching set. Harmless, right? Wrong. Because the problem with this smooth, thin, satin is even if Yoongi is at rest, you can still make out his dick print.
And now you wanna make out with it.
âHow very dare you.â Youâre shimmying your own cotton pajamas down, leaving you in your panties. You have thoughts. And youâre leaning on acting on those thoughts. i. e. About the smooth glide of that fabric against your bare pussy. Fuck, youâre so hot and bothered for him itâs really embarrassing.
âFuck, this thing feels amazing.â You breathe out as you slide against his body, bare thighs brushing against his clothing.Â
He just chuckles.
You run your palms against his chest and when you see his nipples starting to perk between your digits, you plop your mouth on one and suck against the fabric.
The fuckinâ book finally closes and is tossed aside.
âShit your mouth.â
You nod. âMhm⊠where else do you want it?â
âYou know where.â
You slink down, mouth his cock against the fabric, your saliva making a deeper shade bloom against the satin. You hook your index on the garter and pull the waistband down for his pretty cockhead to pop out.Â
You lick him all over, do your best to take him deep enough to swallow against his tip.
Youâre getting into it now, determined to give him the motherfuckinâ head of his life when youâre yanked off his length.
âNah,â he says, like he just had a thought. âYou get up here and take your panties off.â
You take his spot by the headboard, crotch bare for him now. Heâs hovering over you, palms braced on either side of your thighs.Â
âI didnât get to appreciate this last night.â He says, lips trailing against his bottom plush, mere centimeters from your wet, aching cunt.
âThen appreciate it. With your mouth.â You suggest with a little smirk.
âBrat.â He delivers a quick little spank against your puffy lips, your legs closing on instinct against his head. âNope. Youâre gonna keep this nice and open for me.â
You show yourself again to him. A slow, torturous flick of his tongue against your clit and youâre unraveling in real time. His mouth suctions on your throbbing core, setting a controlled but dizzying pace which he alternates with long flat licks of his tongue. The realization that he kept his fuckinâ glasses on sends you skyrocketing. Youâre practically oozing now, drenching his sheets, and he just laps you up, drunk and high on that pussy juice, not wasting a single drop.
âYou taste so good, fuck.â
lick
âLove this cunt.â
lick
âWho owns this pussy?â
meow
Wait what?
You come face to face with green eyes and a Victorian collar.
And so it was your turn to ask: âWho owns this pussy?â
Yoongi surfaces from your depths, chin glossy as the black cat slinks towards him, tail swishing against your face, making you sputter out the fur that made its way in your mouth. Uh, rude?
âMe,â he says, giving the cat a little pat on the butt. âAnd the entire condo I guess. This is Tang-ie.â
âYou forgot to tell me you have a whole living creature in this house?â you ask, moderately scandalized.
âHeâs kind of an informal settler. Likes to hop from one condo to another,â Yoongi explains. âWe all kind of just pitch in if he chooses to stay with us.â
Tang is actually a really adorable cat, if he isnât staring at you like a tiger about to eat its prey. Itâs a little jarring, if youâre gonna be honest.
Yoongi is none the wiser. Just continues to pat pat his catâs bum bum, utterly distracted now. This man really has a fascination with spanking, you realize, wincing a little as you still feel last nightâs after-effects.
âYeah, um, should I leave you two alone, or?â
Yoongi eyes you before releasing a shoulder-shaking laugh.
You finally remember to close your legs. How embarrassing.
Yoongi carries Tang off the bed, setting the cat outside before he closes his bedroom door with a muted click.
âDonât be jealous of the cat, Y/N.â He says, sounding very matter-of-fact, as he pads back to the bed.
You roll your eyes, reaching for the blanket to cover your bare half.
âStop,â he says, snatching the gray blanket and tossing it on the floor. âWeâre not done.â
You curl in on yourself and face away from him.
Yoongi positions himself behind you, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck. âCan I eat you out now?â
You break your silence with a huff. âI dunno. Is it your favorite pussy?â
âOf all time.â he says, the smile apparent in this tone, adding. âI love it when my girlfriend is a little jealous.âÂ
The word hits harder than anything he said all night.
âIâm your girlfriend?â you ask, turning sharply.
He goes a little pink. âOhâuh, I meanâŠâ
You lean in, brushing your nose against his. âYeah,â you murmur. âI am.â
His smile comes slow this time. Not cocky. Not teasing. Just sure. Like heâs been holding the word in his mouth for a while, waiting for the right moment to let it live between you.
âMy girlfriend,â he repeats, softer.
And you let him.
You let him say it when he kisses you.
When he makes you come.
When he tucks you into his chest like you belong there.
My baby.
My girlfriend.
Mine.
You let him say it when the two of you sit cross-legged on the floor later, phones in hand, deleting Hookie without ceremony. Neither of you has any use for it now.
Because thisâsoft sheets, sore muscles, swollen lips, a soft-spoken man and his snobbish catâfeels nothing like a hookup.
It feels like the first love you used to imagine.
Soft.
Safe.
Certain.
And finally, itâs yours.
:)
A/N: Aaaand thatâs a wrap on H&B. Thank you so, so much for sticking with me through it all.
I have to say, this concept was a little hard for me to warm up to in the beginning and then it just started clicking. Planning the dates and correlating it with iconic Yoongi fits were probably my favorite thing about this series.
So what did you think??? See you in the comments and please reblog this with your review if you enjoyed. Itâs the best way you can show your support. đ
Thank you for reading you lovely, beautiful human xo
Lastly, I do take ko.fi if youâd like to support what I do. <3
yoongi's interlude: fugue pt. iii (3tan) (m) | myg
title: yoongiâs interlude: fugue (pt. 3)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)Â
series: mlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball |Â stay |Â sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongiâs interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ;Â brotherâs best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: he would do anything for you, even if that means leaving your light... to venture into his dark.
note: fugueâin music, a compositional procedure characterized by the systematic imitation of a principal theme in simultaneously sounding melodic lines ; a state or period of loss of awareness of one's identity, often coupled with flight from one's usual environment.
note 2: we are almost there. the second to last part of yoongiâs second interlude. itâs heavy, itâs deep, and itâs a lot.
warnings: language, time skips, angst, brain fog, reader being an angel but what's new!!!, fugue state experiences, ruined instrument, depression allusions, fight scenes, trauma, bro is a real one, drugs mention/use, threats, the demons are being fought yâall, among other thingsđ, blood/wound mentions, yoongi please get upđ, darkness, jimin being his ride or die self, anxiety, ptsd reflexes, friendship is truly power, yoongi just needs a gd hugđ, dark thoughts, tension, reader is never giving up and we love them
drop date: january 28th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 12.6k
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Heâs gonna make this work. Because heâs done fighting this shit.
Waking from a dreamless sleep, Yoongi stares at the empty half of his bed, fingers gliding across untouched sheets to seek warmth he knows isnât there.Â
But it will be. Yours will be. Because heâs fucking done with his own bullshit and will now trek the depths of his soul with a purpose redefined. The demons awaiting him have no chance, they have no say.Â
Softly grabbing chilled cotton, Yoongi breathes in, the subtle heat of his own rest permeating his cheek for a few moments more. It isnât until a few slow blinks and a million thoughts of you that he turns over, patting for his phone on the nightstand and immediately clicking the one notification thatâs yours.Â
Hustler [05:45]: 1 AttachmentÂ
Mm. You sent him the dawn.
Heâs gonna give you the world.Â
For a long stretch of time, Yoongi doesnât know what to say. All he can do is stare at the way the sky blooms in pastel hues, admiring the framing you captured so perfectly from your front porch.Â
Is there anything you arenât good at? He canât keep losing to you.Â
Flopping back onto his pillow, Yoongi aims his phone upward, eyes still caked with sleep and drowsiness.Â
Yoongi [06:13]: 1 AttachmentÂ
Yoongi [06:13]: Mineâs better
The photoâs so dark you might not be able to tell what it is. But youâre smart, so you probably will.Â
Fuck, he needs to get up.
Squeezing his eyes once before rubbing out the crust, Yoongi slowly vacates his warmth, grabbing a chain from the nightstand to clip it on.
Everything reminds him of you, even in the quietest and most mundane parts of his day. But the links around his neck are extra special. Because your blatant fascination with his jewelry will never, ever get old. Â
If you only knew what else he wants to do with you involving the weight around his neck.
Yoongiâs mouth cracks into a sleepy grin as he heads to his bathroom. That particular fantasy will have to wait until much, much later.Â
And unlucky for you, he is more than willing to wait.
He wonders if you know he notices. How he drinks in that sparkle in your eyes, shivers at those fingers you slide along his silver. Even if you never will, itâs fucking adorable either way.
Yoongi goes through his morning routine, and it isnât until he takes vitamins in the kitchenâa part reinstated into his ritual ever since the mental turnaroundâthat he hears his phone buzz.
Hustler [06:34]: is that your ceiling?? lmao
Of course. He never doubted you for a second.
A small smile curves before Yoongi drinks another swig of water, holding the glass to his mouth while another message slides though.Â
Hustler [06:34]: i wish i was there :((
Fuck.
You will be. Youâll be there much sooner than he originally planned, and the thought makes him anxious and restless in the best ways.Â
Yoongi [06:35]: Same
Mm. He can do better than that.Â
Yoongi [06:35]: Iâd say meet me for lunch but then youâd be gone the rest of the dayđ€·ââïž
Pocketing his phone, Yoongi grabs what he needs before heading to the studio. Because there are still projects to work on and things to plan, with a high possibility he wonât even get a lunch to begin with.Â
Good problems. Lucky problems. He cannot take any of this for granted.Â
And thereâs no way he can take you for granted anymore, either.Â
Yoongi [06:39]: Careful what you wish forÂ
If he got to see you, heâd be gone the rest of the day, too. Until you scolded him to get back to work, at least.Â
The thought pulls out a tiny huff.Â
After grabbing his wallet and keys, Yoongi plods to his shoes before the door is cracked open, crisp morning air wrapping around his features.Â
Heâs not alone.Â
To his side, Miss Dion stops watering her plants, donned in a fluffy robe and a shit grin that Yoongi has to look away from out of pure⊠Is he being shy right now? âMorning.â
âGood morning to you, too, sugar,â she says through satisfied teeth. âI told you. What did I say?â
Yoongi canât help but shine his own set to the sky before looking her way. âMm. Depression and isolation can mess with memory, so.. Canât recall. Looks like youâll have to tell me again.âÂ
With creased eyes, he braces as his neighbor lightly threatens with an air swipe of her arm.Â
âA smart one, huh? Figures. Glad to have you back, son.â Miss Dion shakes her head, one hand propped on a hip and staring low. âLooks like your little rascal is back, too.â
âMy what?â Yoongi looks down before seeing a cat emerge from the nearby bushes, opting to walk on the sidewalk at the sight of people. Silent, he watches his neighbor tsk at the retreating culprit,
âShe keeps messing with my plants and making my poor Zeke antsy. Get her some better food, okay? Go with your girlfriend before I charge you for garden damages.âÂ
A full laugh bursts out of his chest, realizing heâs got a little in common with the feisty, older woman. Is Zeke the name of a dog or something? âYes, maâam.âÂ
âGood.â Settling into a warm smile, she radiates serenity with sparkles in her eyes. Itâs a look that reminds Yoongi of his own mother, and his heart suddenly yearns to go back home. âNow shoo and get on with your day. Donât let me keep you.â
Turns out, there are plenty of good people in this world.Â
And maybeâjust maybeâheâs starting to feel like one of them, too.Â
âYes, maâam.â
â
â
On his drive to work, with morning air breezing through open windows and bottom lip between his teeth, Yoongi decides that youâre gonna hear everything from him from now on. Every single day, heâll reach out every moment he can.Â
He knows it wonât ever, ever make up for the months he fell off the planet, but heâll abruptly switch up his behavior because you deserve his full extent of communication and he has been severely lacking.Â
And the first thing he will hound you about is getting in a good meal today.Â
â
â
Work flies by, which is another sign things are looking up.Â
During a break, Yoongi fishes out his phone to continue a search he started earlier. And seeing your nickname on his screen sends wings beating around his chest like a fucking lovesick fool. Will he ever get over this feeling? Fuck no.Â
You [13:25]: Which one were you looking at? I wanna see!
Cute. Itâs one of the keyboards heâs been looking for, but definitely out of his price rangeâfor now. But itâs whatever. He knows what he can do with bare bones and minimal tools, so anything a step above worn-down pads and keys is just a plus.Â
Yoongi [14:30]: This is the one I really want but not right now
Yoongi [14:31]: 1 AttachmentÂ
Honestly? Just the fact that youâre interested in what heâs talking about is enough for him. This is leagues better than anything he couldâve imagined, and now he doesnât know why he didnât start doing this sooner.Â
Well. He does know why.Â
Hustler [14:33]: Responded â€ïž to an Attachment
Hustler [14:33]: HOTTT GET IT NOW!!!
Yoongi [14:34]: Itâs expensive!! Gonna save up.
Shit, his cheeks canât hide. Grinning like an idiot and youâre gonna get him caught in this fucking studio.Â
But your next text? Your question? Wipes his whole expression and squeezes his lungs shut.Â
Hustler [14:35]: how much? i might be getting a raise already so i can spot youđ€Ș
Yoongi damn near drops his phone.Â
Are you serious? Youâd be willing to do that? For him? You see the price on that. You know how much it is.Â
A shimmering feeling spreads throughout his chest, and heâs fighting everything to keep his vision from blurring. You have no idea how much this one text means to him. After all that fear and trauma that shattered his soul, youâre slowly stitching him back piece by piece. Even if his chest is constricting so hard he has to clutch it to keep it from breaking for an entirely different reason.Â
Fuck, youâre everything. His beginning, his end, his every sleeping and waking moment.Â
And you donât even know how many of his lives youâve saved.Â
Hustler [14:38]: hey iâm sorry if that was overstepping.Â
Hustler [14:39]: obv i know you can get it on your own, but i just got way too excited and wanted you to get it asap haha.. but yeah itâs a great investment either way so i say go for it!
Oh, fuck. Screw it.Â
Rushing out of his swivel chair, Yoongi walks out of the studio, past a curious Jungkook and Namjoon with a finger already on the call button.Â
Walk, walk, walk, get as far out as he can. The rings are blaring in his ears and his chest is on fire but this couldnât wait. Itâs the twentieth step that falters as you timidly answer with,
âHello? Wait, are you okay?â
Instead of saying the first thing that comes to his mind, or even the second, Yoongi goes with the third. Which is fucking nothing because his mind is where his heart is and his voice is nowhere to be found.
â...Hello?â From the ruffles on the line, he can tell youâre getting up and going wherever the fuck you need to go. Because Yoongi knows heâd be doing the exact same thing. âWhere are you.âÂ
He can only manage a slight chuckle before asking, âWhat are you doing to meâŠâ
Your sigh of relief turns into a soft laugh. âI really am sorry. If you felt some type of way, I wanted to say that. Shit, I thought you were⊠I donât know.â
âJust had to get some air cus of you,â he admits with a huff and shake of his shoulders. âGonna ban you from my phone.âÂ
âThereâs a word for that, you know.â
There you go again. Boldly teasing him while heâs on the clock? How you hit all of his hidden buttons so effortlessly, he really needs to know. Cheeks tight in a grin, Yoongi fires back, âYou wanna try that again?â
âOh, you donât know? It starts with a B, too, you were so close!â
You are so fucking lucky you arenât here with him. The urge to grab and attack your sides until you canât stop laughing hits Yoongi like a wave, and he scrunches his nose until he counters with feigned nonchalance, âOkay, I see how it is. Thatâs fine..â
âNo, wait, Iââ
âIâll remember that.â
âNo!â That laugh is always contagious as hell. âAh, whatever, you wonât do anything anyway.â
Nah. Even during his goodbye, Yoongi is already plotting. Because while you call his bluff on many thingsâa surprising amount of themâabout this, you couldnât be more wrong.Â
âGuess youâre right, baby girl,â Yoongi says, using a low tone that always makes you shiver just right, âI sure wonât.â
He doesnât have to tell you itâll take four days to make that a blatant lie.
â
â
During the next studio session a few days later, everyone starts hanging out and messing around since things got wrapped up fairly quickly. Something about being organized and intentional can free up time or whatever. Yoongi just laughs at how simple yet how rare that really is in the industry he chose.Â
As they jam with Woosung and the guys, he lets himself truly let go, feeling the flow of music and rhythm and playing away on one of the lingering guitars. Itâs his first time touching one in so long without it cutting deep into his skin.Â
It feels good. Heâs not even that rusty. This is the best development in a long time.Â
Even the band has compliments running all throughout the session, and it takes everything for Yoongi to not grin too wide or strain his cheeks in shyness. He knows heâs good, but hearing it from them is a little too much to handle.Â
It also doesnât help to feel a pair of eyes look his way a little too strangely.Â
But soon after it ends, Yoongi finds himself out back again with Woosung, leaning against bricks as smoke fills the alleyway.Â
âYou seem okay today,â the singer notes through a small smile. âYou gonna be alright?âÂ
âI am.â Yoongi watches the afternoon skies. âAnd I think so.âÂ
A small hum. âYou have to say it like you mean it. Even if you donât believe it, you have to try.âÂ
Shit, thatâs a lot easier said than done. But Yoongi keeps his mouth shut and his eyes blinking, looking down and smelling wisps of tobacco. âWhat do you do when you..â Fuck, how should he say it? âWhat do you do when you keep falling back down?âÂ
Woosung takes a drag, and he seems to know what that means. âFirst Iâd tell you the obvious. Keep picking yourself back up.â Coughing, he continues in a much more relaxed manner. âBut honestly, you gotta figure out why itâs happening in the first place.âÂ
Yoongi looks his way.
âOnce you deal with the reason for the fall, you know how to fight the push. The slip. Whatever you wanna call it.âÂ
With a deep inhale, Yoongi slowly focuses back on the sky, wanting to lose himself in the clouds drifting pass.Â
Without a doubt, he knows what his push is. Heâs just been too weak to fight it. Now that he has people helpingâand youâit shouldnât be as hard. âThanks.âÂ
âYou learn a lot on the road. And I can tell you wanna be on stage, you know. Youâd kill it.âÂ
âYou think so?âÂ
âI think you think so.âÂ
Yoongi laughs with him. Because the guy's not wrong. âIâll get there. Thereâs not really any other options for me.âÂ
Woosung appraises him with pride. âThereâs a few camps that are opening up spots. You guys should go to one. Itâs good networking, if anything.â After flicking his cig, the singer then turns to fully face him. âWho knows? We might end up opening for you someday.âÂ
Huh? Shouldnât it be the other way around? Brows furrowed, Yoongi blinks before getting confused at the guyâs laugh.
âIâm not kidding. Thereâs something special about you, I can tell. You just need more time and space to let it grow.â
Mulling it over, Yoongi knows where the conflict is coming from. Yes, he does need to learn more and pretty soon, they could all outgrow that studio and move into another. But they have to push forward and try, even if theyâll be out of their element at these networking opportunities. âIâll let them know,â he finally says.
âGood.â Woosung pushes off the wall with a shoulder. âI know youâre doing this for you, but⊠Is there someone else youâre doing all this for, too?âÂ
Yoongi nods without hesitation.Â
âThen donât leave them in the dark for much longer.âÂ
What the fuck? How did he know?
âIf they catch you in a bad moment⊠You might lose them before you can even say sorry.âÂ
â
â
Yoongi strolls across another aisle before halting mid-stride, tugging himself into the seasoning and oil section to grab more of what he needs.
After work, he chose to stop by the nearest supermarket to grab things. And the more he walks through the different areas, the more he realizes just how much heâd been needing. Fuck, the damn bill is gonna be huge.Â
But itâs all worth it. Surprising you with a hearty meal? Yoongi thinks he could do that every day for the rest of his life.
If only there was a nice spot in town you could also go. The ache he has to take you out and show you off has been reaching record highs, but he knows itâs not possible right now.Â
Yoongi just wants to show you heâs cool with bringing you outside of his place. Never mind that it feels less like home, heâs more concerned about you thinking the worst. Thinking that things are over or limited when he has plans that extend beyondâÂ
Jimin: Incoming Call
A brow is raised before Yoongi answers, âHey.â
âWhenâs the release party again?â
That was definitely not what he expected to be asked. Especially when Jimin has been texting him about movies and reminders about practice all day. âUhh. In a couple weeks. Why?â
âOkay. I.. I dunno.â
Yoongi checks the expiration date on a carton before flat out blurting, âJust date him.â
A groan sounds on the line. âI just.. What if he doesnât want to? Then Iâll look like an idiot.â
Putting back the first, Yoongi pulls out a second, approving the better date and lowering it into his cart. âThen heâs the idiot.â
âWell. He is.â A rueful laugh crunches through as the smell of cheeses and bread fill the air. âBut only because of the way he looks at me.âÂ
Yoongiâs heart clenches. He feels the same about you, wondering how you could still regard him with those beautiful eyes and make him feel more than wanted. âIf it helps, you look happy with him.â
âAh, throwing my own words back at me now?â
âGuess so.â Yoongi flexes his jaw. âI just know how this feels.â
âWhen are you gonna tell him.â
His whole body locks. âI donât know.â
âDude.â
And his eyes slowly shut.
âItâs been long enough, you know that, right?â
Stopping off to the side, he leans onto his cart swallowed in his hood, ignoring a few passing looks and gnawing into his lip. âCourse.â
âSo do it. I get that you donât want to, but you have to.â Â
A hand angrily rakes through his hair, and he lowers his head to speak to the ground. Of course he would get this lecture in the middle of a fucking store. âHeâs gonna fucking kill me and who knows what heâll say toââ
âAnd Iâll be sending flowers and Tae will write you a song.â
A pause. Then a huff. Yoongi almost feels like it could be that simple. Â
âShe deserves this. You deserve to finally make this.. I dunno, real. Official, if you wanna call it that. Blessed? Wait, is that only for weddingsââ
âChim.â
âYou get what I mean. And the most importantâand Iâm sure you know this because youâre not an idiotâhe sure as fuck deserves to know.âÂ
âI know. We both do.â Yoongi sighs, hearing wheels squeak around him and various chatter. He knows he should move before weirding people out, but his feet feel glued to tile. âItâs just.. gonna be shit for all of us.â
ââŠAt least itâll be less shit if you tell him before he finds out on his own.â
Jimin is always right.Â
âAlso, I might need that keyring back soon if you arenât even gonna put it to use. I wanna practice after work for the last game.â
âI am using it.âÂ
âNot how I planned.â
âHow you planned?â What the hell does that mean? Itâs just a set of keys that unlock the gym a ways away, and Yoongi uses it to play by himself after it closes so heâs alone.Â
When heâs alone. Wait.Â
âIâll give it back,â Yoongi finally speaks. âAfter the game.â
Thereâs an audible groan on the other line. âCanât believe I have to spell everything out around here.âÂ
Mustering enough strength to prop his head up, Yoongi finally rolls from his spot and heads to the front to pay. âThanks, Chim.â
âUse it well. Make her happy, make you happy, make babies, make me a fun uncle, I donât care.â
Yoongi outright laughs, heart beating a little faster. And he thought just shopping for groceries with you would be enough for him. Gotta hand it to Jimin for getting miles ahead of everyone else. AlthoughâŠÂ
âBut you have to tell him.âÂ
Dreams dashed through, he murmurs a quiet, âI know.â
âYoongi⊠Iâm glad youâre back.â
âMe, too.â Yoongi slips into line, waiting behind a young man giving his girl a cheek kiss and laughing at her dramatically wiping it away. âThanks for everything.âÂ
âYou can thank me by telling someone you need help next time. Even if itâs not me.â
As the girl goes to lift food to be scanned, she gets stopped by her boyfriend, watching with a small smile before helping him anyway. âI will.â
âGood. Love you.â
Yoongi swallows, eyes a little prickly for more than one reason. âLove you, too.âÂ
â
â
Even though Yoongi has been getting small evidence of your eating habitsâas instated by him this past weekâheâs still determined to get you more nourishment.Â
Heâs pretty sure you like the restaurant next door, so despite knowing this could get him in a world of trouble, he uses his lunch time to bring you food.Â
Writing a note and some groceries he forgot to get last time, Yoongi sets it in the paper bag and walks to your building, still in disbelief that youâve been this close this whole time. The pain of remembering how much of your life he missed while he was unreachable pangs his chest. But he deserves it, and you deserve a lot better.Â
Finally on your floor, he walks up to the receptionist before immediately ignoring their wide eyes.Â
âWho are you looking for?â
âMy girlfriend. Just dropping this off.âÂ
âOh.. This is so sweet of you.â
Yoongi doesnât even give that declaration a second thought. It came out so naturally.
Maybe he really is ready to move on.
You arenât there at your desk. Which is probably best because heâd just steal you away. So Yoongi quietly sets it on your empty space, looking at all the trinkets and pictures you have in your little world. Some are just adorable, but he spots a polaroid of your brother that clenches his chest.Â
He was there for that. You both had matching cameras and took an impromptu picture of each other at the same time. Heâs pretty sure your brother has yours very visible somewhere, too.Â
But thereâs no time to think because heâs gotta bounce.Â
Walking fast past reception, he hears a quick, âWait, are you not gonna wait for her?â
Pausing, Yoongi turns. âIâŠ.âÂ
On second thought? Yeah. Because fuck this sudden shyness, he's gonna take any chance to see you.
Be it from being impatient, or just really nervous, Yoongi waits around a nearby corner until you find your food. He needs to see your reaction to the note, because if you throw it out or ignore it? Heâll take that as the most glaring sign to give you space.
But when your hand slowly covers your mouth and your body quietly buckles, his heart beats so loud he thinks you can hear it, and his soul pulses so fucking hard his vision glosses over.Â
You will never know what you truly do to him.
Back at the studio, Yoongi is locked in the rest of his shift. Because he isnât just doing this for him now. Thereâs another reason heâll be making it big.Â
Youâre still believing in him after all this time. You still stayed.Â
And Yoongi will take over the whole world just to kneel at your feet to give it to you.Â
â
â
The entire night is perfect.Â
In fact, Yoongiâs entire life feels like itâs where it should be. Hanging out with you in a gym, starting another water fight because he still dreams about the one you sprung on him that day? This is what life is about. There are no shadows with him now that heâs fully in your light.Â
And that carries him through the night and up until the game the next day. His sleep was restful, his spirits are high, and his mind is completely spotless.Â
But with one glance at the man from Dalo, all the darkness comes rushing back in.Â
â
â
Did you just tell them all to play?Â
Even though the guy that assaulted you is on the other team, you want everyone to stay? To play out the game?Â
Seeing you look so folded in on yourself, Yoongiâs chest feels twisted with immediate rage. How the fuck are these guys allowed to even be here? How did they make it this far? That fucker is staring him in the face and heâs trying unbelievably hard to not go over there and commit felonies.Â
Honestly? If youâre really about this and want them to go ahead and play, Yoongi knows exactly how itâs gonna play out. All the scenarios are manifesting in his head and he canât help but feel a sadistic elation knowing how fucked this other team is gonna be.Â
But he looks at his best friend with heated eyes. âWhat do you wanna do?âÂ
It takes him awhile, but your brother responds exactly how he thought he would, âFuck this shit up.âÂ
âExactly.âÂ
At your addition, Yoongi looks your way, liking your spark but hoping youâre not overcompensating for anything. If youâre uncomfortable, they should just forfeit the game and bounce.Â
You arenât budging. Youâre clearly shaking and yet, you are immovable in your decision. And itâs so like you and fuck he wants to kiss your fears away in front of the whole gym just so everyone including that dipshit knows youâre forever untouchable. âThe fuckinâ nerve.âÂ
âBold,â Jimin adds from where he stands, turning to you and dropping into oblivion to say what theyâre all already thinking. âDonât worry, love.âÂ
Yoongi turns to the other bench.
âThis will be over soon.âÂ
â
â
Everything starts off exactly how they want it to.Â
Turns out, Jiminâs regimen and practice schedule worked out in everyoneâs favor. Now that theyâve played multiple games with each other, Yoongi and the other guys can communicate with just looks and moves alone. Which proves a huge advantage because theyâre making the other team look completely unorganized.Â
All those nights alone in that gym have also contributed to Yoongiâs form. This is the quickest itâs taken him to be in the zone and heâs even impressing himself with how sharp he is.Â
No one can guard him. No one can stop him. Itâs painfully obvious to them and he canât help but laugh at their shock every time, shrug at their little team squabbles, smirk at the way this idiot canât even keep up with him. Tragic? Worse.Â
But things get dicey when Rohan fouls a little too hard, everyone nearly converging on him and the guy selling his pain as if it wasnât just a normal swing. On cue, shoving and pushing happens, Yoongi being on the outskirts since heâs the last to get there.Â
Itâs over when the coaches come separate, but amongst all the racing heartbeats, your brother looks really focused coming out of the fray. Really calm. Which means something went down and he is fighting to keep his attitude in check.Â
As they both head to the bench, Yoongi immediately gets the rundown. And his whole attitude ices over with a snap.Â
âThey know which car is mine.â
Fuck.Â
That means one of two things. One, these guys just happen to really like knowing who drives what. Or two, this isnât a game anymore. This isnât the matchupâthe real one is not going down on rec center floors.Â
Yoongi is already repeating his apologies to you.Â
Well, shit. May as well have some real fun with it now. If they can get the other team to call it quits here, they may have a shot at an easier standoff later.Â
Right.Â
â
â
Yoongi doesnât like this one bit. The other team was too quiet to just have left without a word.Â
They really will be meeting them in the parking lot. And suddenly, things get a little too real.Â
This walk could be the last, depending on what they may have on them. The only shit those guys have against them is that this is a public center, and there could still be a lot of witnesses walking byâÂ
Thunder rumbles as they reach the end of the long awning jutting out from the rec center entrance, and Yoongi looks at the dark sky with lidded eyes.
Fuck. So much for people passing by. They may be left out there on their own for real.
âStill?â
At Jiminâs question, Yoongi nods. Because they still have to confront this group of cowards one last time, pouring rain or not. Revenge is never one to raincheck.Â
Maybe they bluffed. Maybe the storm settled in some seconds thoughts. The lot still looks fine, with cars emptying out one by one as they walk and the space getting more scarce. Your brotherâs car and Jiminâs exist in the same spot a ways down near the end.Â
With more than an alarming number of guys surrounding them.Â
Is that a whole fucking crew? Fuck, this was not the plan you need to get out of here and anywhere else but your place.Â
Before Yoongi can say anything, your brother beats him to it. âTaehyung. Get her out of here. Now.âÂ
And your scream of resistance tears through every cell in his body.Â
Yoongi canât even fucking look at you, even if to burn the image of your face in his mind to get through this bullshit. Because if he does? Heâll be the one hauling you away and bringing you both to the safest place he can think of without a second or third thought.Â
But he will not inconvenience his loving mother with a sudden visit just yet. When he finally brings you home, it will be for a different reason entirely.Â
âNo! What the fuckââÂ
âWeâre leaving.â
âPleaseâ! No, let me go!âÂ
This is the thought that will keep him grounded. It has to. He has to face this situation because from the way things are looking, if they donât settle this now, it will only get worse. For them, for you, for everyone.Â
Fuck, your voice. Itâs taking everything for Yoongi to keep his anger in check because, despite his malice, heâs the one that ultimately started this. He thought he was in the clear. What a fucking joke fuck youâre clawing at his ducts and he doesnât need to look at your brother to know what heâs thinking.Â
The man is fucking silent.Â
And this is the one Yoongi remembers with full body shivers. The protector. The one that will do whateverâs necessary to save the ones he loves. This is the guy Yoongi has to eventually confront, if theyâwhen theyâget out of this situation in decent pieces. If your brother did what he did for him? What the fuck is he gonna do for you?Â
But in all fairness. For the first time, Yoongi understands this side of his best friend. Because for you? Thereâs no limit to what he would do to keep you safe. What a fucking shame heâd left you in the dark for that long. If you hate him after this, heâll deal with it. At least that means you were safe enough to say it.Â
Woosung warned him. And Yoongi still didnât heed the signs.Â
But no use dwelling in it now. Your screams have morphed into sobs as Taehyung hauls you away. And with quick observation, Yoongi notices that even some of the faces heâs watching falter.Â
Youâre his everything. Your brotherâs everything. And he fucking hates himself for all those opportunities he had to be by your side, all those times he couldâve just confessed but couldnât because of his own damn faults.Â
Rolling his shoulder, Yoongi braces for the storm, your brother finally speaking with a clutched phone behind his back as soon as youâre out of earshot,Â
âLast chance.âÂ
The man from Dalo shoots out a huff of disbelief. âFor what, motherfucker.âÂ
âTo back off my fucking car.âÂ
Thunder rattles some of the guys into a step back, but your brother doesnât move. Resolute, he brims with sinister energy, its bristles curling around Yoongiâs legs and hardening Jiminâs shoulders. Even some of the guys from the team have stayed behind, which doesnât come as a shock seeing as how close they are with your older sibling.Â
âThatâs your play?â Dalo guy drawls before looking around. âOutnumbered and youâre worried about a little paint scratch?âÂ
Your brother only smirks like he has a secret. And Yoongi knows full well that itâs a bluff that always works like a charm. âI mean, Iâd be worried if I were you, but. If you can skip a few monthsâ rent to pay off the damages, go ahead.â
More of the guys shuffle in nervousness, which is the sign they all need. If they actually leave, things should end quicker. All they have to do is hold it out long enough for them to talk.Â
âHow about this,â the man suggests, poison trickling down his curve before he swings his bat right into the side mirror of your brotherâs car fuck. âLetâs see how many swings it takes for you to stop me.âÂ
âIâm gonna guess a few,â your sibling drawls under the blare of his car alarm, expertly hiding the fact that heâs pissed as another swing hits the passenger door. âGive or take.âÂ
âYou shut the fuck up,â the leader growls, smashing the nearest window right out and grinning into the vehicle. âOh, whatâs this? Iâll take that, thank you.âÂ
âDonât.â
Yoongiâs blood freezes as he sees exactly what the guy takes, noticing the matching polaroid that your brother has of you thatâs always on the dash.Â
Oh, fuck this noise and fuck this guy. Now heâs waving it like a little trophy? All bets are fucking off. No amount of morals will help him now and your brother turns downright murderous.Â
âThink Iâll get a lot of good use out of this,â the assaulter boasts with a sinister grin, shoving the picture in his pocket that Yoongi can only assume reeks of sweat and cowardice. Thunder booms once more, and droplets start pinging off shoulders and sweaty heads.Â
He wants to hurl thinking of what the guy means, and he doesnât even realize heâs one step further than before until an arm stops him at his chest. Turning, Yoongi sees his best friendsâ eyes ablaze but still facing forward, and he stops his stridesâmind racing with rage.Â
âYour girl looked good today, by the way!â The Dalo guy appraises with a lift of his chin, rain running down his angular cheekbones and staining his dark mesh. Yoongi snaps his gaze forward again because shit this is being addressed to him. âWe got a nice view from our bench.âÂ
Fuck this dude. What the fuck is happening to his spiking heart rate? Is it anger? The rain? A thunderous mixture of both?Â
On heavenly cue, thunder tears through the sky again, raindrops starting to pick up just to drown this guyâs talking,Â
âThink itâs time for me to see her again? Her skinâs so soft, bet it feels like heaven when yâall fuck, huh?â
âNot gonna share?â The man turns to your brother with the evilest glint in his eye. âGuess I can always stop by and ask her myself.âÂ
When the sky rains down in sheets, everything erupts at once.Â
â
â
Gritty, darker days of the past melt into Yoongiâs vision as the night blurs and roars around him.Â
For a brief moment in time, he doesnât think theyâll make it. Youth has slipped its protection from their bones, taking the recklessness of their souls with it. They havenât done this in ages. And it fucking shows.
Because Yoongiâs side hurts like a motherfucker and his palms sting with white hot singe. Rain and bodies slow in their motion as he takes it all in, and his eyes droop as he shifts closer to his friendsâmind swirling like the lights pulsing down the street.
Your brother smacks into wet ground before wrenching himself back up, and a Jimin sporting a botched eye yanks him backward before distancing them all from another hit. The other guys from the team shield their blind spots, everyone now mangled and boxed in tighter and tighter.
This is because of him. He did this. He did all of this.
Mind and skin slick from the rain, his guards crumble. Dark thoughts flood back in and inundate his every crevasse. You deserve to hate him and you should you should you should.Â
A prideful laugh erupts before yelling out, âLetâs get this over with, yeah?âÂ
âYou arenât gonna do shit,â your brother taunts.
âThink so?â As the man reaches behind his back, Jiminâs voice pierces like an arrow,Â
âWatch it!â
Acting without thought, Yoongi bolts to his friend, knowing what to do but not having a plan for whatâs next oh fuck whatâs this guy pulling outâ
âYoongi!â
If anything, he can at least go out with the knowledge that he kept your brother safe. Youâll be safe with him. Yoongi will find a way back to you even if it takes another lifetime or two.Â
Rain roars down as something dark is pulled from the manâs pants. But Yoongi can barely make out what it is as he shoves your brother out of the way.
"No!"
He's frozen. He can't fucking move. Your bright light is the only thing that flashes into his mind as he stares into glinting, vengeful eyes.
But everyone else will be safe. That is the most important. The only thing that matters.Â
Suddenly, sirens sound from a ways down, everyone flinching in the downpour. Lights swirl and swirl, and itâs your brotherâs exhausted admission that shocks everyone,Â
âThose are for you, by the way.â
âThe fuck?â The man backs up immediately, shocked when half the guys are already scrambling off. âYou fuckinâ snitched?â
âWhat can.. I say,â your sibling huffs through heavy breaths. âDonât mess.. with my fuckinâ car.â
âBullshit.âÂ
âStay if you want.â Straightening with a repressed wince, your brother sets a hand on Yoongiâs good shoulder before walking right up to the man that assaulted you, weapon in hand be damned. âItâll make it easier for them to spot you. You know, with all the cameras and shit.âÂ
ââŠHuh?â
âWeâre in a public lot, genius.â He wipes blood from the side of his face, looking up behind him at the very obvious camera positioned on the nearest floodlight. âAnd if we run the tape back, yâall smashed my property.âÂ
The man slowly smiles. âAnd youâre on the same footage instigating a fight. What if I justâŠâ Something happens between their bodies, but Yoongi canât see what. âDo it right here? Defend myself?â
Your brother raises his shoulders before exaggerating a sigh. âSee, the thing isâŠâ Hands on his hips, he reminds Yoongi of you, flinging him back to a very similar rainy afternoon with much less harrowing stress. How heâs remaining so calm is unfathomable. âYou broke into my car and stole from me. Anyone seeing that footageâyou know, before the rainâis just gonna see⊠Well, us trying to stop you.â
The sirens get louder and louder, and more of the guys have long gone by now. But your assaulter stays in disbelief, eyelids blinking away rain and arms shaking. âThey canât catch me from those cams.â
âProbably. But they can pick up your voice from my recordings.â Looking down, your brother finishes with bored finality, expertly ignoring the fact that he's millimeters from death. âAnd you have my picture in your pants, dumbass.â
Yoongiâs never seen someone slam a hand into their pockets so fast. As the polaroid falls into puddles, a voice quivers while something is tucked back in wet pants, âFuck you.âÂ
Before he can run, the man gets snagged by his jersey, sirens blaring closer and closer as your brother unleashes his final threats, âSince you did the smart thing and spared me, I'll be nice. But I donât wanna see you, I donât wanna see any of them. Come around again, and Iâll make sure you never see daylight, you understand?âÂ
Fully rattled, the man throws his hands up with a growl, âFine, I got it! Fuck!âÂ
With the last dashes of a coward, the team is left alone in the lot.Â
Turning their drenched heads and shoulders just in time to see the cops fly by.
â
â
After a quick check to make sure no oneâs sporting a major injury, all the team members that stayed are told to go home before any other cops come to ask whatâs up. Your brother finishes calling a tow truck for his battered pride and joy, and Yoongi rejoins him with a very silent Jimin.Â
Even though the rain never stops, the three of them wait until everyone else is driving off. Until everyone else is safely on the way back to some place dry.Â
When alone, the three of them turn to each other without a single word.Â
Itâs done. Itâs really done.
â
â
Just sliding into the passenger seat of Jiminâs car makes Yoongi hiss in pain.Â
Groans from the others fill the humid space, and Jimin makes sure the lot is completely cleared again before watching his rearview mirror. âHow the fuck did you know the cops would come?âÂ
âI didnât.âÂ
Jiminâs good eye widens. âThat was just coincidence?âÂ
âSo was the rain being this bad.âÂ
Fucking hell, they lucked out on every single thing they couldâve lucked out on. If it went down any other way? At least one of them wouldâve been lying face down on pavement.Â
Swallowing, Jimin clutches his wheel with one hand before asking next, âWell.. What are you gonna do? You leave tomorrow, right?â
Theyâre about to talk about the towed, smashed car he called in. So Yoongiâs just gonna lean into his seat and try to fucking breathe.Â
âYeah,â your brother huffs out. âUmm. Iâm not sure. Thereâs no getting out of this trip, and I canât exactly tell my boss what happened.âÂ
âNeed us to bring it into the shop tomorrow?â
âReally? Damn, thatâd be perfect, thanks. Iâll just get a ride to the airport in the morning then.âÂ
Yoongi winces to himself as he adjusts, hearing a groaning curse from the backseat at the same time. âYou sure youâre good to leave tomorrow?â
âYeah, Iâll be alright.â The man sighs. âCouple hours of ice and some bandages should do it. And the suits will cover most of me up.âÂ
âK.â
Jimin starts the car, hand gripping the center console so hard his veins pop. âI gotta say⊠That was the first time Iâve been that scared. In a long time.â
The whole space falls silent in agreement.
Itâs your brother that croaks out next. âThe last time we were in shit that deep.. Yoong got his back thrown into that barbed fence.â
At that, Yoongi looks out the window.
âBut the important part is that we made it. And they wonât be coming around now that we have shit on them. Fuck, the way I wanted to justââ
Yoongi cuts his sentence off immediately, âLuckily you chose logic.â
âYeah. I guess.â
âWe just all have someone to live for now,â Jimin grits out with frustration. âSo can we just.. Not do this anymore?â
Another hush of understanding falls over the group, and everyone quietly agrees.Â
âGood.â Jimin rolls his car forward and starts calling someone, setting his phone down while Taehyungâs name shows on his car screen.Â
âHey.â
He answered. Which means youâre right at his side. Fuck, Yoongiâs heart is pounding so hard itâs drowning out the rainfall. Your voice. He needs it. Heâll take anything you have to say.Â
âHey.âÂ
âYou okay?â
Jiminâs tongue prods his cheek. âYeah, weâre all alright, butâŠâ
âSay it.â
As Jimin relays the damage, Yoongi starts picking at his fingernails in nervousness, something he hasnât done in so long but still feels like second nature. âMy eye is pretty fucked. Yoongiâs face is cut up and heâs got some nasty bruises on hisââÂ
âWhere is he.â
Oh. Thatâs really you.Â
Shit.
Jimin audibly pauses on the line before having the audacity to chuckle. What the fuck is he laughing for? What about any of this could possibly be funny?Â
âThis isnât funny, Park. Where the fuck is he?âÂ
âWith us,â Jimin slowly answers, as if this suspense is good for anyone. âIn the car.âÂ
At least he has enough mercy to start out with including your brother. Hopefully that first response was enough to clue you in before saying anything more damning. Not that something damning wasnât already said. Fuck, this wasnât exactly what Yoongi meant when he said he wanted to hear you. But goddamn if his soul isnât already pulsing at the thought of you asking about him.Â
After another beat, Jimin decides to spell it out for you. And Yoongi feels like heâs about to dangle from a precipice. âYour brotherâs here, too.âÂ
âAh⊠Am I on speaker.âÂ
Both Yoongi and Jimin look at the center screen, already knowing your brother is looking, too. âUmm.. Yeah.âÂ
Whatever Yoongi thinks youâre gonna do or say? Is nothing compared to what you actually do. He hasnât been this chewed out in ages and the pit in his stomach morphs into a void.
âActually, you know what? Good. Now I can say youâre all idiots and immature as fuck.âÂ
The man in the back tries to cut you off to no avail. âHey, wait a damn minuteââÂ
âI waited long enough!âÂ
Yoongi physically feels his whole soul sag with guilt, guilt, guilt.Â
âI know this shit isnât new to yâall, but really? You didnât need to do this.âÂ
âHe was gonnaââ
âAll you had to do was play the game! Whyâd you have to make them mad? Do you even know what couldâve happened back there?âÂ
Yes, they all know. In fact, Yoongi is still mentally running from that one split second of terror. If the dude from Dalo was reaching, that could only mean a couple things and he doesnât wanna think of either one. How the fuck is he supposed to face you now? When he almost gotâ
âJust tell me one thing⊠Is this gonna happen again?âÂ
That one your brother answers with finality. âThey wonât be coming around anymore.âÂ
Yoongi hopes to everything in the universe that itâs true. Judging by the fear in those eyes? The way they all ran? Thereâs no way theyâre coming back. But the adrenaline pulsing through his cuts and bruises gives some room for doubts.Â
âOkay⊠Are you okay?âÂ
Your sibling answers yet again, making things seem much less concerning than they really are. As usual. âMe? Yeah, the hits I took were weak as fuck. Iâll get home soon so if you wanna order in tonight we can.âÂ
âFuck that.âÂ
âHuh?âÂ
âBro, you donât even know how fucking mad I am. Iâm going to Yuriâs.âÂ
That shake in your voice will stay for a very, very long time. Even as his best friend dares to question you, Yoongiâs throat remains shut. âWhat? Nah, come home tonight and weâll talk.âÂ
âI justâNo.â Fuck. Your pause is the loudest thing. Itâs long enough to make them all think youâve hung up, but he has a feeling the next thing you say will crush him.Â
And heâs right.Â
âIâm not talking to any of you for awhile.âÂ
You mean that. Thereâs no doubt in Yoongiâs mind that youâre dead set on cutting them all off with no hesitation. And they all deserve it, especially him. What they did tonight was idiotic and couldâve been avoided in a thousand ways. You have every fucking right to be furious. Truthfully, youâre kinda letting them all off easy. Â
Once again, your brother is the spokesperson for the car. Because why would anyone else be, right? ââŠFine. But go asap then. I donât want you out late on your own.âÂ
ââŠOf course you donât.â
And you hang up so fast it cuts Yoongiâs breath in two.Â
Silence follows. Followed by a multitude more. Unspoken thoughts are forming dark clouds in the car, stuffing the space and jamming cotton in everyoneâs ears.Â
In the rear view mirror, Yoongi watches his friend rub both hands over his face before a fist bangs against leather upholstery, Jimin reacting immediately with a quick,
âBehave.â
âSorry.â A rustle of clothes and guilt follows. âI just⊠My sisterâs right. What the fuck are we doing anymore? This one was stupid.â
âAll the fights weâve been a part of have been stupid,â Jimin tuts, looking over his shoulder and wincing before turning a corner. âFuck, my eye.â
Yoongi offers with a hand still slung over his waist, voice hoarse, âNeed me to drive?âÂ
âNo one with a death wish gets to drive my car.â Jimin hisses out another whoosh of pain. âBut no, I can make it to his place.â
âK.â
âAnd sheâs right.â Jimin rolls to a stop at the next light. âEven if tonight was coming, this couldâve been prevented. Or done another way. Honestly, Iâm surprised we made it out.â
âSame,â Yoongi agrees.Â
âGlad I got his shit recorded,â your brother sighs, wincing while adjusting his seat. âThey shouldnât be able to refute the recordings in courtâfuckâif it gets to that point.â
âWhat happens if theyââ
âForget about them,â Yoongi interjects, earning two looks of shock and feeling a little surprised himself. When the car starts moving again, he works his hurt jaw, trying to figure out how to word his ever twisting thoughts. âWe didnât tell her anything and thatâs where we fucked up.â
Did that come out too upsetting? Can he blame it on his aching side? Does it even matter anymore? Does anything?
âHow do you know that.â
Stiffening ever so slightly, Yoongi uses his battered side as an excuse to shift. Wincing, he looks at the center console, choosing not to peer out the window on purpose. Face this shit now. Tell the truth in parts to control it,
âShe told me.âÂ
Jimin doesnât acknowledge that answer, instead turning at the next corner and checking his mirrors.Â
âWhen.âÂ
Motherfucker. Yoongiâs mouth is drying out so fast he doesnât taste the blood anymore. Everything feels like sandpaper, scratching his tongue, tearing his esophagus to shreds. The rasp that results rips his throat red,
âAfterââ
âAfter I told her everything,â Jimin jumps in, throwing a blanket over his fire. As Yoongi gives him a look, he continues with eyes on the road, âAt that party you hosted a few days after you came back.â
Thank god the blond knows to step up when heâs needed. Yoongi still canât think straight and was about to admit he called you during that party. Full on busted. And how would that have gone?Â
âThe party IâŠ? Oh, the one that Sunday? Fuck.â Your brother wipes his lower face before shutting tired eyes. âI remember now. Cus I was gonna tell her back then, but everyone started coming over.âÂ
âWe shouldâve told her before Dalo even happened,â Yoongi says with a sag to his voice.Â
Thankfully, all suspicion and tightness is gone from your siblingâs voice. Only agreement resonates. âYeah.. Yeah.âÂ
More silence washes over the car, sweat and rainwater caked on skin while blood hardens in layers. Though Jimin makes no comment, Yoongi knows heâs gonna pay for any damages just sitting in here will accrue.Â
Rolling up to your house, Jimin parks in the driveway, all of them still wordlessly suffering because of all the shit he started.Â
Yoongi canât see it any other way. This all happened because of him, whether his best friend says so or not. Yeah, he threw that punch on the court back then, but Yoongiâs the one that fell for the taunts. How fucking stupid. And to think he thought all of this would just, what, go away with time?Â
You reached for him on the court this last game. You were begging for him to tone it the fuck down. Once again, he didnât listen, blinded by the anger boiling overâat that coward, and at himself.Â
But youâre safe, your brother is safe, and everyone that fought today is fine. Yoongiâs gonna count every blessing that he can before the darkness wins again.Â
âThanks for driving, Chim,â your brother grunts as he opens the door. âAnd Yoongi?âÂ
He turns to look his way. Staring right into those eyes laser focused and exhausted to hell all at once. Not even the pouring rain can divert either of them from breaking contact.Â
âGet out of the fucking car.â
Fuck.
Yoongi works his cheek before grunting out of the doorway, winding the car and knowing Jimin is on high alert inside. If this is about you? If this is the battle he was supposed to fight for months?Â
Maybe heâs not making it out tonight after all.Â
As soon as Yoongi gets close, heâs yanked forward by the collar, eyes unmoving as he knows not to flinch. Heâs gonna own his shit, as much as heâs scared out of his fucking mind right now.Â
Words rip low from your siblingâs lips, âWhatever the fuck you did? Donât even think about doing it again.âÂ
And there it is.Â
The door heâd been so desperate to open has been sealed completely shut, caught in this torrential downpour and retreating so far back he canât see it any longer. âIâm sorry,â he rasps out. âI was gonnaââ
âJiminâs right. You got a fucking death wish? What the fuck is wrong with you? How would you think I wouldnât figure it out?âÂ
Ice blocks all his veins, freezing his chest over and chilling him below his bones. Everything from the moment you knocked on his door to now comes rushing past his vision and breaking in lightning quick snaps.Â
All Yoongi wanted to do was protect you. And now heâs gonna lose both of you.Â
Shoving him backwards, your brother growls out. âI just⊠Are you fucking serious?â He sighs to the ground, rain drenching his already slicked head and steaming shoulders. âYou got one life, and a future bright as fuck. Stop throwing it away so easily, or weâre done.âÂ
What?
Now Yoongiâs eyes jolt for another reason. Shock thrums and resets his body, forcing it to grapple with the real conflict between them. âThis is about me saving your life?âÂ
âWhat the fuck else would it be!â Your sibling rushes forward and shoves him again, and Jimin is fully springing out of his car now. âThe fuck were you thinking?â
âWhat the hell are you two doing?âÂ
âYouâre fucking kidding me. Are you serious? He was about toââ
âI can handle my own shit!â
Jimin keeps a bull from charging again, full on forcing him back. âWhat the fuck!â
âI can save you from an idiot with a gun,â your sibling grits out like itâs hurting him from the inside, âBut not her, dude.âÂ
Her? What the fuck? Â
âYeah, donât think I believed you for a fucking second. Sheâs still there, huh? I can see it all over your face!â
As Jimin stills in his pushing, Yoongiâs feet start to get tugged into the earth.Â
âLook at you. Gone for days at a time, starting shit on the court, and justâthrowing yourself out with no plan? Do you even care about your life anymore?â
Thunder cracks the sky once more, punctuating his words on impact.
And it's Jiminâs turn to shove his friend back, voice tightened in ice, âI suggest you choose your next words very carefully.â
âDo you?â
Life slows around Yoongi, magnifying the pain he feels in his side and the blow he took straight to the lip. Everything hurts. Everythingâs numb.Â
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this isnât what he bargained for at all. And even though itâs been forever since heâs seen his ex, he can feel her ghost howling and grinning like a victor, tearing his heartbeats to shreds.Â
Your brotherâs right about her still being burrowed in his place. That has been the case for months and he needs to fix that. But caring about his life? Of course he does. Did it look like he was just throwing himself out? Truthfully he doesnât remember everything he did he just acted on pure instinct. âThatâs not.. Itâs not like thatââ
Shucking off a persistent Jimin, your brother straightens and backs up a step. âSomeone to live for, huh? Yeah, count me the fuck out. Her? What the fuck, Yoong?âÂ
No. Not this again. Say something. Say fucking anything to fix this shit. The dread that settles into his stomach is finding permanent residence because heâs about to lose his best friend for the wrong reason, âListen, Iââ
âSave it. As long as youâre still with her I am done.â
The panic in Jiminâs eyes matches his own, his hands trembling as he keeps them separated, âItâs not like that, okay? Both of you need toââ
âGet out.â
Yoongi and Jimin still, with the latter asking a shocked, slow, âWhat?â
âYou heard me.â Your brother backs up towards the house, rain falling in rivers across his skin and failing to hide the streams from his eyes. âGet his ass home. Iâm not saying shit until sheâs gone.âÂ
âBut sheâsâsheâs not evenââ
âIâm out.âÂ
â
â
Rain stains the windows of Jiminâs car in splotches.Â
After the entire drive goes by in silence, Yoongi slides tired eyes up to see his place coming into view.Â
âYoongi.âÂ
He doesnât respond.Â
âIâm staying with you tonight.âÂ
Shutting down, he gives his friend a shoulder so cold even he regrets it. âNo.â He knows Jiminâs already red-rimmed and teary. So he keeps his head down and arm slung over his waist. âTaehyung needs you.âÂ
âPlease,â Jimin begs, voice wavering and full of fear. Which is justified. He knows what will happen if heâs left alone. âIâm staying. I can get him and we can both stay, justââ
âNot tonight.âÂ
A sniffle is the only response. âI fucked up. Iâm so sorry I messed it all up, but please donât do anything when Iâm not there toââ
âIâll be fine.â Yoongi clicks the door open, greeted by the boom of thunder and endless rain. He can hear the desperation in his best friendâs pleas, but this is something he canât let anyone witness. Not feeling in control of his body is frightening, and he needs to be isolated. Again.
Before shutting the door, he turns. âThis is something I have to do alone.âÂ
âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
âIâll⊠Iâll tell you about it tomorrow.âÂ
More sobs wrack Jiminâs body as he wipes his bruised eye with shaky fingers. âPromise me thereâs a tomorrow.âÂ
Oh. Jimin thinks the worst. Fuck, Yoongi is hurting all of his friends in every fucking way possible. âChim,â he sighs, rain lowering his temperature so much he shakes. âItâs not like that at all. K?âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
âI just⊠Yeah. Weâll talk about it when Iâm ready.âÂ
âYoongi,â Jimin halts him right as heâs closing the door. âI really am sorry.âÂ
And he looks down at the seat he just occupied, rainwater and sweat and regret and relief all sunk into leather upholstery,
âMe, too.âÂ
â
â
As Yoongi stumbles into his apartment, he doesnât bother to turn the lights on. Why would it matter if all theyâll do is highlight the repercussions of his decisions? The stupid fucking decisions ever since the day he damned you all.Â
A shadow snickers, wrapping around his brain and forcing him to recite them all once again. Just like he had been over the last three months.Â
Yoongiâs shoes trip over nothing as he stumbles, careening to the floor and smacking a bruised shoulder on impact. White hot pain zings up his limb, shoving out a curse and a wheeze as he lies still because he canât. Fucking. Move.Â
All he wanted to do was protect you. Those guys were loaded with dark intentions and he lost it defending your honor. But that doesnât negate the fact that he put you and your brother in danger. Heâs the one that started the fight on the court that day, heâs the one that messed up by making you feel unwanted. Danger? He put you in that. The club? He put you in there, too, and almost tore his mind apart when he saw what happened to you there. What did you say to him afterward? When you both were in the safety of your own bed?Â
âI was so scared.âÂ
Yoongi punches the floor, gritting his teeth before willing himself to get. Up. Limb by limb, muscle by muscle, he slowly rises to his feet, kicking off his shoes and stripping off his damp, bloody clothes. Because itâs done. The danger wonât reach anyone he cares for any longer, and yetâŠÂ
He can barely change into new garments as his mind flashes with more reminders, like how he messed up rushing to defend you at the party, making his best friend silently size him up and wrenching daggers in his side. Even leaving you to deal with his shadow fucked you up, because he couldnât bring himself to tell you why he even left in the first place.Â
But thereâs a lot of that hesitation going around. After all, he hasnât even confessed to you brother yet. Just the thought makes him want to hurl, and he almost does.Â
But Yoongi quickly shakes his head, as if doing so flings the memories away. He stalks through his living room, his path illuminated by the flashes of lightning and shaken by the booms of angry thunder.Â
You may as well command the very skies. Because your rage seems to mirror them tonight, and he cannot blame you one bit for tearing them all apart. God, he canât get that tremble in your voice out of his fucking head. You sounded so hoarse, so broken, so defeated and yet so strong.Â
In a screwed up way, Yoongi is proud of you for telling them off, setting off a new conversation that ended in them making amends to how they settle things from now on. They all deserved that as much as they needed it.Â
Youâre too good for him. Yoongi has thought this once before, but itâs more than true now as he stops at the corner of his living room. The darkest one. The one that's been driving him to the brink of insanity and back again.
Itâs so loud right here.Â
Darkness winds around him in waves, only fleeing when lighting floods the room. His face pulses in pain just as much as his side, and he hunches forward, almost touching the neck of his black guitar case.Â
Yoongi can only stare.Â
He messed up a lot of things. He knows that. And yet, you havenât run from him once. Even when he fucked up again, and again, and again, you never ran. That day you almost walked out the door? Yoongiâs heart crumpled and squeezed when he saw you turn right back, eliminating that stabbing fear in his chest and replacing it with a heal of hope.Â
But you finally cut him off tonight.Â
And honestly, that was the best decision you couldâve made.Â
Gripping the firm cloth of the case, he unzips from the top, moving in slow, calculated motions. Thunder rumbles overhead, and he almost flings back to the first time this instrument of disaster was gifted to him. But he fights the memory, quietly choking the guitar by the neck and lifting it from its confines.Â
He hears it gasping. Fuck, he hears the screaming.Â
And therein lies the root of his manic war.Â
This isnât just an instrument. This isnât just an object.Â
Itâs a life.Â
If he does anything to it, the guilt will forever mar his conscience. Heâll carry this violence wherever he goes.Â
But what else can he do? If he throws it out and someone finds it, the shadow can come back to haunt him. Or inflict its power over someone else. Is that too much of a stretch? Is he truly going insane now?Â
A fuck up. A screw up. For as long as he can remember, Yoongi believed those were all used to describe him. However, if you have taught him one thing in the time heâs orbited your presence, itâs a simple fact. He may be a fuck up, and he may be a screw upâŠÂ
But he was still a good person.Â
Those labels plagued him for years, had him questioning his very existence and rocked him off balance every time he stepped out of line.Â
All this time, those words were a projection, flung at him with the intention of making them stick until he couldnât rub them off. Mud, mud, so much mud had been flung onto his brain and buried his very essence so far deep that he couldnât even find it anymore. Even his vision dulled, colors looked less vivid, life didnât feel worth living.Â
But Yoongi has fucking had it with the sludge. He already faced your nightmare head on just to keep you safe. If he had to trudge through a thousand miles of sludge next just to get to you? Heâs doing it. Because youâre so fucking worth it and heâs not wasting anymore fucking time on these lies, these half-truths, this bullshit.Â
Tightening fingers around polished wood so hard that strings bite into his skin, Yoongi turns, lightning flashing and casting his own shadow into his room.Â
His shadow. No one elseâs. Heâs not letting there be two of them in here any longer.Â
The screaming reaches a shrill cry.
A dizzying thought roars in his brain once more, crumpling him at the waist and making his ribs sting. Breaths ragged, he squeezes both eyes tight and heaves at the painful pulse of his head.Â
That whole time away didnât even matter, did it? All it took was one phone call to have your brother on his ass yet again.Â
Fuck. Is he gonna have to keep his distance again? Shit. He didnât think about that under all the pain heâs sporting right now, all the mental assault heâs enduring because it is relentless tonight.Â
Goddamn it. He canât deal with another three months away from you. Even three days without you sounds like agony and death right now, because he has to spend his days and nights with the monster in his hand. The dark will await him once more, but he doesnât want it anymore. Itâs not part of him. Itâs not itâs not itâs not.Â
Eyes slowly opening, Yoongi slowly straightens as much as his ribs allow, shifting his lidded eyes to the weight he carries.Â
Get rid of it.Â
Throw it out, all of it, all of it.Â
But how? He canât move to throw it away. His feet stay glued to the floor as he struggles to even carry it another second. His chokehold slips, staccato notes giving way to a cacophonic hum as the bottom of the instrument hits the floor.Â
Get rid of it.Â
Itâs like youâre speaking to him. But how is that possible? Is this what happens when one descends into madness? Because thatâs what Yoongi feels in the marrow of his bones. Burdened by the fact that no matter what he does, heâs gonna mess it all up. No matter what he tries, it will be in vain. Heâll never be happy. Heâll never get the future he wants. The future with you. With you, with you, with you, wasnât he just fighting for you? What the fuck is happening to his brain?Â
Get rid of it.Â
He canât.Â
Get rid of it.Â
He canât.Â
Throw it out. All of it, all of it.Â
âŠCan he?Â
Yoongi struggles to breathe, heaving out dry, bitter struggle once again. His limbs almost give under the weight of the mud, the pile of sludge. The door seems so far away and he canât crawl to it any more. Thereâs too much trash. Thereâs too much pain.Â
Your voice rings across his mind one more, desperate time.Â
Get rid of it.Â
And someoneâs wise words from awhile ago echo right behind like a ripple. A mantra. A reminder.
âIf thereâs something you need to get through...âÂ
Manic resolve seizes the reins.Â
âHit it until it breaks.â
Lightning flashes in slow motion as Yoongi doesnât even feel himself. He hears the bangs, the crashes, the splinting of wood and shrieking of glass as something enormous tramples through his living room. But nothing feels real, his vision isnât his, those lifts of his arms arenât his doing as swing, after swing, after heavy final swing hits in front of him.Â
This is everything he wanted to unleash in that parking lot. Every movement swathed in rage.
Strings snap, whipping out in all directions as glittery rain falls onto his rug and his floors, skittering in all directions and glinting off the storm light outside.Â
His throat is hoarse. His ribs are worse.Â
And his brain goes completely dark.Â
â
â
When Yoongi blinks, his living room looks unfamiliar.Â
Until he wakes amongst millions of shattered pieces, surrounding his bloody limbs in a descent suspended in time.Â
Somewhere, what was once a guitar is split in pieces, slain in cold blood to be rid of the shadow inside. A death necessary for life. Yoongi vows to never break an instrument like that again.Â
He did it. It finally happened. The only shadow he can see is his.Â
âŠRight?Â
Yes. Yes. Itâs over.
â
â
Floating.Â
Endless, endless floating. The ocean of his mind is calmer without the scepter in the room, but heâs so exhausted he can only move his eyes.
Thereâs a voice in the dark box he puts himself in. But that doesnât make sense, does it? When heâs supposed to always end up alone.Â
Jimin did his best. So did everyone else. But itâs a simple fact that, in the end, itâs only gonna be him here, listening to you call out to let you in.
Wait. Thatâs really you. Youâre calling him? Has he been responding? When the fuck did he even answer his phone?Â
No. You shouldnât be here tonight. Not tonight. Not like this.Â
Regret and anger fill him to the brim as he screams at himself to not push you away. But he will, breaking his own heart to save you from seeing him in his aftermath. You donât need to see this. You should be miles from where he lies.Â
âNot tonight.â
But on the other side of his door, you are fighting like you never have before.Â
âYoongi, I swear to godââÂ
âNot tonightââ
ââyou donât let me in Iâmââ
âGo homeââ
âIâm fucking staying out here until you open the goddamn door!â
Why? Why are you still there? Why are you trying so hard and why does your effort hit him square in the chest? In his mind, heâs reaching for the door but he canât get there. Still so far away. But youâre screaming for him to try. Begging.Â
âIâm serious.â
âNo.â
âGo home.âÂ
âNo!âÂ
It takes everything for him to utter your name, because he feels like even that he doesnât deserve to say.Â
He could hang up. He could just shut you out. So why isnât he? Is he turning away, or clinging on to your outstretched hand?Â
Yoongi knows why heâs still on the line. Itâs because he needs you. Fuck, he needs you and yet he wants you the furthest distance possible. You canât see this. Any of this. Youâd cast him away and never look back.
Which is why he finally reaches the point of begging, âPlease.â
Your silence drags on. Only the shaky, quick breaths you exhale fill the deadened air and squeeze his lungs.Â
Go. Donât go. Stay. Run.Â
No matter what Yoongi begs you to do, heâs already screaming at himself to do something. Because even if he doesnât let you in, youâre just gonna keep standing there. Three months you kept your distance, and youâll wait another ten until he lets you in. Thatâs just who you are.
And thatâs the you he fell in love with.Â
But Yoongi feels the most broken he could ever feel. The most damaged, though the worst is over now. What are you going to say? How are you going to react? Will you run?Â
Will you leave?Â
Donât leave.Â
Donât leave him alone.Â
Heart on its last desperate breaths, Yoongi lies still, hoping you say something yet begging for you to take one last chance.Â
He thought it was best to be left alone. And now heâs silently calling out for you to open the door.Â
ââŠNo.âÂ
His heart pulses waves throughout the living room, beating stronger and stronger and yanking his limbs into action.Â
Breathe. Focus. Get the fuck up and walk, crawl, do anything but just get to the fucking door.Â
So crawl he does. Across shards, across rainwater, across the damage he dealt to the last piece of him that needed breaking. Your effort cannot be left alone and heâs going to meet you halfway.Â
Fuck, heâs still cold. Still wet. But he will keep crawling on forearms until he can muster the courage to stand up and let you inâno matter how long it fucking takes. The ground feels like sludge and dirt and blood and itâs so dark. He may drown here. But that wonât stop him because he will trudge through hell to reach your voice and this is one and the same.Â
Almost there.Â
Stand the fuck up.Â
Unlock the door.Â
As soon as your face comes into view, Yoongi doesnât quite register what you say but heâs already preparing toâ
With a sudden fit of strength, he grips your waist and tugs you back into him, both to keep your feet from danger and to selfishly feel the warmth of his only source of sunlight.Â
Youâre silent. Youâre still.Â
âI told you, doll.â
Your sob is all he needs to know. Instead of the pain of you choosing to leave, Yoongi gives you the out one more time.Â
Despite desperately wanting you to stay right by his side.Â
âGo home.â
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tbc in fugue, pt. iv
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so... thoughts before the last fugue? | join the server! | fugue pt. iv
a/n: we have one more part to fugue left, and if you guys remember everything that happens after reader sees the wreckage.. let's just say the rest is gonna be the most important, most heartfelt parts from yoongi's pov. i seriously cannot wait to share this last fugue chapter with you all, and i wanna do it the most justice i can offer.
a/n 2: i love you all so much, and i've missed being here. thank you all again for being so patient with me as i work through an entire inner working of 3tan yoongi. i knew i wanted to take this on, but i did not account for how much it would affect me mentally. it's been a rough but necessary journey for the both of us. all we know for sure is that we needed to brave the sludge to end in full bloom. and that's where we are finally heading next.
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feedback box:
â„ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
â„ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
â„ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. itâs literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as youâd like!
â„ here!
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more links:
â„ masterlistÂ
â„ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 3: we have a slight goal to hit before 3tanfugue4 is posted! i want to make sure we have activity here before posting the next part, and some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. so we're gonna try it and see how it goes! if we don't dig this idea, we can go back to normalcy after fugue4.
note goal: 800 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tanfugue4 will be dropped as planned! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
omg hello! looks like you logged in at just the right time haha. happy you enjoyed the chapter and ahh.. yeah.. i see some of myself in him, too. giving you some big hugs theređ«
LMAO weâre a little over halfway! fugue4 is getting worked on as we speak so high chance it will be ready by next week. yâall can add as much comments as youâd like!
yoongi's interlude: fugue pt. iii (3tan) (m) | myg
title: yoongiâs interlude: fugue (pt. 3)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)Â
series: mlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball |Â stay |Â sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongiâs interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ;Â brotherâs best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: he would do anything for you, even if that means leaving your light... to venture into his dark.
note: fugueâin music, a compositional procedure characterized by the systematic imitation of a principal theme in simultaneously sounding melodic lines ; a state or period of loss of awareness of one's identity, often coupled with flight from one's usual environment.
note 2: we are almost there. the second to last part of yoongiâs second interlude. itâs heavy, itâs deep, and itâs a lot.
warnings: language, time skips, angst, brain fog, reader being an angel but what's new!!!, fugue state experiences, ruined instrument, depression allusions, fight scenes, trauma, bro is a real one, drugs mention/use, threats, the demons are being fought yâall, among other thingsđ, blood/wound mentions, yoongi please get upđ, darkness, jimin being his ride or die self, anxiety, ptsd reflexes, friendship is truly power, yoongi just needs a gd hugđ, dark thoughts, tension, reader is never giving up and we love them
drop date: january 28th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 12.6k
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Heâs gonna make this work. Because heâs done fighting this shit.
Waking from a dreamless sleep, Yoongi stares at the empty half of his bed, fingers gliding across untouched sheets to seek warmth he knows isnât there.Â
But it will be. Yours will be. Because heâs fucking done with his own bullshit and will now trek the depths of his soul with a purpose redefined. The demons awaiting him have no chance, they have no say.Â
Softly grabbing chilled cotton, Yoongi breathes in, the subtle heat of his own rest permeating his cheek for a few moments more. It isnât until a few slow blinks and a million thoughts of you that he turns over, patting for his phone on the nightstand and immediately clicking the one notification thatâs yours.Â
Hustler [05:45]: 1 AttachmentÂ
Mm. You sent him the dawn.
Heâs gonna give you the world.Â
For a long stretch of time, Yoongi doesnât know what to say. All he can do is stare at the way the sky blooms in pastel hues, admiring the framing you captured so perfectly from your front porch.Â
Is there anything you arenât good at? He canât keep losing to you.Â
Flopping back onto his pillow, Yoongi aims his phone upward, eyes still caked with sleep and drowsiness.Â
Yoongi [06:13]: 1 AttachmentÂ
Yoongi [06:13]: Mineâs better
The photoâs so dark you might not be able to tell what it is. But youâre smart, so you probably will.Â
Fuck, he needs to get up.
Squeezing his eyes once before rubbing out the crust, Yoongi slowly vacates his warmth, grabbing a chain from the nightstand to clip it on.
Everything reminds him of you, even in the quietest and most mundane parts of his day. But the links around his neck are extra special. Because your blatant fascination with his jewelry will never, ever get old. Â
If you only knew what else he wants to do with you involving the weight around his neck.
Yoongiâs mouth cracks into a sleepy grin as he heads to his bathroom. That particular fantasy will have to wait until much, much later.Â
And unlucky for you, he is more than willing to wait.
He wonders if you know he notices. How he drinks in that sparkle in your eyes, shivers at those fingers you slide along his silver. Even if you never will, itâs fucking adorable either way.
Yoongi goes through his morning routine, and it isnât until he takes vitamins in the kitchenâa part reinstated into his ritual ever since the mental turnaroundâthat he hears his phone buzz.
Hustler [06:34]: is that your ceiling?? lmao
Of course. He never doubted you for a second.
A small smile curves before Yoongi drinks another swig of water, holding the glass to his mouth while another message slides though.Â
Hustler [06:34]: i wish i was there :((
Fuck.
You will be. Youâll be there much sooner than he originally planned, and the thought makes him anxious and restless in the best ways.Â
Yoongi [06:35]: Same
Mm. He can do better than that.Â
Yoongi [06:35]: Iâd say meet me for lunch but then youâd be gone the rest of the dayđ€·ââïž
Pocketing his phone, Yoongi grabs what he needs before heading to the studio. Because there are still projects to work on and things to plan, with a high possibility he wonât even get a lunch to begin with.Â
Good problems. Lucky problems. He cannot take any of this for granted.Â
And thereâs no way he can take you for granted anymore, either.Â
Yoongi [06:39]: Careful what you wish forÂ
If he got to see you, heâd be gone the rest of the day, too. Until you scolded him to get back to work, at least.Â
The thought pulls out a tiny huff.Â
After grabbing his wallet and keys, Yoongi plods to his shoes before the door is cracked open, crisp morning air wrapping around his features.Â
Heâs not alone.Â
To his side, Miss Dion stops watering her plants, donned in a fluffy robe and a shit grin that Yoongi has to look away from out of pure⊠Is he being shy right now? âMorning.â
âGood morning to you, too, sugar,â she says through satisfied teeth. âI told you. What did I say?â
Yoongi canât help but shine his own set to the sky before looking her way. âMm. Depression and isolation can mess with memory, so.. Canât recall. Looks like youâll have to tell me again.âÂ
With creased eyes, he braces as his neighbor lightly threatens with an air swipe of her arm.Â
âA smart one, huh? Figures. Glad to have you back, son.â Miss Dion shakes her head, one hand propped on a hip and staring low. âLooks like your little rascal is back, too.â
âMy what?â Yoongi looks down before seeing a cat emerge from the nearby bushes, opting to walk on the sidewalk at the sight of people. Silent, he watches his neighbor tsk at the retreating culprit,
âShe keeps messing with my plants and making my poor Zeke antsy. Get her some better food, okay? Go with your girlfriend before I charge you for garden damages.âÂ
A full laugh bursts out of his chest, realizing heâs got a little in common with the feisty, older woman. Is Zeke the name of a dog or something? âYes, maâam.âÂ
âGood.â Settling into a warm smile, she radiates serenity with sparkles in her eyes. Itâs a look that reminds Yoongi of his own mother, and his heart suddenly yearns to go back home. âNow shoo and get on with your day. Donât let me keep you.â
Turns out, there are plenty of good people in this world.Â
And maybeâjust maybeâheâs starting to feel like one of them, too.Â
âYes, maâam.â
â
â
On his drive to work, with morning air breezing through open windows and bottom lip between his teeth, Yoongi decides that youâre gonna hear everything from him from now on. Every single day, heâll reach out every moment he can.Â
He knows it wonât ever, ever make up for the months he fell off the planet, but heâll abruptly switch up his behavior because you deserve his full extent of communication and he has been severely lacking.Â
And the first thing he will hound you about is getting in a good meal today.Â
â
â
Work flies by, which is another sign things are looking up.Â
During a break, Yoongi fishes out his phone to continue a search he started earlier. And seeing your nickname on his screen sends wings beating around his chest like a fucking lovesick fool. Will he ever get over this feeling? Fuck no.Â
You [13:25]: Which one were you looking at? I wanna see!
Cute. Itâs one of the keyboards heâs been looking for, but definitely out of his price rangeâfor now. But itâs whatever. He knows what he can do with bare bones and minimal tools, so anything a step above worn-down pads and keys is just a plus.Â
Yoongi [14:30]: This is the one I really want but not right now
Yoongi [14:31]: 1 AttachmentÂ
Honestly? Just the fact that youâre interested in what heâs talking about is enough for him. This is leagues better than anything he couldâve imagined, and now he doesnât know why he didnât start doing this sooner.Â
Well. He does know why.Â
Hustler [14:33]: Responded â€ïž to an Attachment
Hustler [14:33]: HOTTT GET IT NOW!!!
Yoongi [14:34]: Itâs expensive!! Gonna save up.
Shit, his cheeks canât hide. Grinning like an idiot and youâre gonna get him caught in this fucking studio.Â
But your next text? Your question? Wipes his whole expression and squeezes his lungs shut.Â
Hustler [14:35]: how much? i might be getting a raise already so i can spot youđ€Ș
Yoongi damn near drops his phone.Â
Are you serious? Youâd be willing to do that? For him? You see the price on that. You know how much it is.Â
A shimmering feeling spreads throughout his chest, and heâs fighting everything to keep his vision from blurring. You have no idea how much this one text means to him. After all that fear and trauma that shattered his soul, youâre slowly stitching him back piece by piece. Even if his chest is constricting so hard he has to clutch it to keep it from breaking for an entirely different reason.Â
Fuck, youâre everything. His beginning, his end, his every sleeping and waking moment.Â
And you donât even know how many of his lives youâve saved.Â
Hustler [14:38]: hey iâm sorry if that was overstepping.Â
Hustler [14:39]: obv i know you can get it on your own, but i just got way too excited and wanted you to get it asap haha.. but yeah itâs a great investment either way so i say go for it!
Oh, fuck. Screw it.Â
Rushing out of his swivel chair, Yoongi walks out of the studio, past a curious Jungkook and Namjoon with a finger already on the call button.Â
Walk, walk, walk, get as far out as he can. The rings are blaring in his ears and his chest is on fire but this couldnât wait. Itâs the twentieth step that falters as you timidly answer with,
âHello? Wait, are you okay?â
Instead of saying the first thing that comes to his mind, or even the second, Yoongi goes with the third. Which is fucking nothing because his mind is where his heart is and his voice is nowhere to be found.
â...Hello?â From the ruffles on the line, he can tell youâre getting up and going wherever the fuck you need to go. Because Yoongi knows heâd be doing the exact same thing. âWhere are you.âÂ
He can only manage a slight chuckle before asking, âWhat are you doing to meâŠâ
Your sigh of relief turns into a soft laugh. âI really am sorry. If you felt some type of way, I wanted to say that. Shit, I thought you were⊠I donât know.â
âJust had to get some air cus of you,â he admits with a huff and shake of his shoulders. âGonna ban you from my phone.âÂ
âThereâs a word for that, you know.â
There you go again. Boldly teasing him while heâs on the clock? How you hit all of his hidden buttons so effortlessly, he really needs to know. Cheeks tight in a grin, Yoongi fires back, âYou wanna try that again?â
âOh, you donât know? It starts with a B, too, you were so close!â
You are so fucking lucky you arenât here with him. The urge to grab and attack your sides until you canât stop laughing hits Yoongi like a wave, and he scrunches his nose until he counters with feigned nonchalance, âOkay, I see how it is. Thatâs fine..â
âNo, wait, Iââ
âIâll remember that.â
âNo!â That laugh is always contagious as hell. âAh, whatever, you wonât do anything anyway.â
Nah. Even during his goodbye, Yoongi is already plotting. Because while you call his bluff on many thingsâa surprising amount of themâabout this, you couldnât be more wrong.Â
âGuess youâre right, baby girl,â Yoongi says, using a low tone that always makes you shiver just right, âI sure wonât.â
He doesnât have to tell you itâll take four days to make that a blatant lie.
â
â
During the next studio session a few days later, everyone starts hanging out and messing around since things got wrapped up fairly quickly. Something about being organized and intentional can free up time or whatever. Yoongi just laughs at how simple yet how rare that really is in the industry he chose.Â
As they jam with Woosung and the guys, he lets himself truly let go, feeling the flow of music and rhythm and playing away on one of the lingering guitars. Itâs his first time touching one in so long without it cutting deep into his skin.Â
It feels good. Heâs not even that rusty. This is the best development in a long time.Â
Even the band has compliments running all throughout the session, and it takes everything for Yoongi to not grin too wide or strain his cheeks in shyness. He knows heâs good, but hearing it from them is a little too much to handle.Â
It also doesnât help to feel a pair of eyes look his way a little too strangely.Â
But soon after it ends, Yoongi finds himself out back again with Woosung, leaning against bricks as smoke fills the alleyway.Â
âYou seem okay today,â the singer notes through a small smile. âYou gonna be alright?âÂ
âI am.â Yoongi watches the afternoon skies. âAnd I think so.âÂ
A small hum. âYou have to say it like you mean it. Even if you donât believe it, you have to try.âÂ
Shit, thatâs a lot easier said than done. But Yoongi keeps his mouth shut and his eyes blinking, looking down and smelling wisps of tobacco. âWhat do you do when you..â Fuck, how should he say it? âWhat do you do when you keep falling back down?âÂ
Woosung takes a drag, and he seems to know what that means. âFirst Iâd tell you the obvious. Keep picking yourself back up.â Coughing, he continues in a much more relaxed manner. âBut honestly, you gotta figure out why itâs happening in the first place.âÂ
Yoongi looks his way.
âOnce you deal with the reason for the fall, you know how to fight the push. The slip. Whatever you wanna call it.âÂ
With a deep inhale, Yoongi slowly focuses back on the sky, wanting to lose himself in the clouds drifting pass.Â
Without a doubt, he knows what his push is. Heâs just been too weak to fight it. Now that he has people helpingâand youâit shouldnât be as hard. âThanks.âÂ
âYou learn a lot on the road. And I can tell you wanna be on stage, you know. Youâd kill it.âÂ
âYou think so?âÂ
âI think you think so.âÂ
Yoongi laughs with him. Because the guy's not wrong. âIâll get there. Thereâs not really any other options for me.âÂ
Woosung appraises him with pride. âThereâs a few camps that are opening up spots. You guys should go to one. Itâs good networking, if anything.â After flicking his cig, the singer then turns to fully face him. âWho knows? We might end up opening for you someday.âÂ
Huh? Shouldnât it be the other way around? Brows furrowed, Yoongi blinks before getting confused at the guyâs laugh.
âIâm not kidding. Thereâs something special about you, I can tell. You just need more time and space to let it grow.â
Mulling it over, Yoongi knows where the conflict is coming from. Yes, he does need to learn more and pretty soon, they could all outgrow that studio and move into another. But they have to push forward and try, even if theyâll be out of their element at these networking opportunities. âIâll let them know,â he finally says.
âGood.â Woosung pushes off the wall with a shoulder. âI know youâre doing this for you, but⊠Is there someone else youâre doing all this for, too?âÂ
Yoongi nods without hesitation.Â
âThen donât leave them in the dark for much longer.âÂ
What the fuck? How did he know?
âIf they catch you in a bad moment⊠You might lose them before you can even say sorry.âÂ
â
â
Yoongi strolls across another aisle before halting mid-stride, tugging himself into the seasoning and oil section to grab more of what he needs.
After work, he chose to stop by the nearest supermarket to grab things. And the more he walks through the different areas, the more he realizes just how much heâd been needing. Fuck, the damn bill is gonna be huge.Â
But itâs all worth it. Surprising you with a hearty meal? Yoongi thinks he could do that every day for the rest of his life.
If only there was a nice spot in town you could also go. The ache he has to take you out and show you off has been reaching record highs, but he knows itâs not possible right now.Â
Yoongi just wants to show you heâs cool with bringing you outside of his place. Never mind that it feels less like home, heâs more concerned about you thinking the worst. Thinking that things are over or limited when he has plans that extend beyondâÂ
Jimin: Incoming Call
A brow is raised before Yoongi answers, âHey.â
âWhenâs the release party again?â
That was definitely not what he expected to be asked. Especially when Jimin has been texting him about movies and reminders about practice all day. âUhh. In a couple weeks. Why?â
âOkay. I.. I dunno.â
Yoongi checks the expiration date on a carton before flat out blurting, âJust date him.â
A groan sounds on the line. âI just.. What if he doesnât want to? Then Iâll look like an idiot.â
Putting back the first, Yoongi pulls out a second, approving the better date and lowering it into his cart. âThen heâs the idiot.â
âWell. He is.â A rueful laugh crunches through as the smell of cheeses and bread fill the air. âBut only because of the way he looks at me.âÂ
Yoongiâs heart clenches. He feels the same about you, wondering how you could still regard him with those beautiful eyes and make him feel more than wanted. âIf it helps, you look happy with him.â
âAh, throwing my own words back at me now?â
âGuess so.â Yoongi flexes his jaw. âI just know how this feels.â
âWhen are you gonna tell him.â
His whole body locks. âI donât know.â
âDude.â
And his eyes slowly shut.
âItâs been long enough, you know that, right?â
Stopping off to the side, he leans onto his cart swallowed in his hood, ignoring a few passing looks and gnawing into his lip. âCourse.â
âSo do it. I get that you donât want to, but you have to.â Â
A hand angrily rakes through his hair, and he lowers his head to speak to the ground. Of course he would get this lecture in the middle of a fucking store. âHeâs gonna fucking kill me and who knows what heâll say toââ
âAnd Iâll be sending flowers and Tae will write you a song.â
A pause. Then a huff. Yoongi almost feels like it could be that simple. Â
âShe deserves this. You deserve to finally make this.. I dunno, real. Official, if you wanna call it that. Blessed? Wait, is that only for weddingsââ
âChim.â
âYou get what I mean. And the most importantâand Iâm sure you know this because youâre not an idiotâhe sure as fuck deserves to know.âÂ
âI know. We both do.â Yoongi sighs, hearing wheels squeak around him and various chatter. He knows he should move before weirding people out, but his feet feel glued to tile. âItâs just.. gonna be shit for all of us.â
ââŠAt least itâll be less shit if you tell him before he finds out on his own.â
Jimin is always right.Â
âAlso, I might need that keyring back soon if you arenât even gonna put it to use. I wanna practice after work for the last game.â
âI am using it.âÂ
âNot how I planned.â
âHow you planned?â What the hell does that mean? Itâs just a set of keys that unlock the gym a ways away, and Yoongi uses it to play by himself after it closes so heâs alone.Â
When heâs alone. Wait.Â
âIâll give it back,â Yoongi finally speaks. âAfter the game.â
Thereâs an audible groan on the other line. âCanât believe I have to spell everything out around here.âÂ
Mustering enough strength to prop his head up, Yoongi finally rolls from his spot and heads to the front to pay. âThanks, Chim.â
âUse it well. Make her happy, make you happy, make babies, make me a fun uncle, I donât care.â
Yoongi outright laughs, heart beating a little faster. And he thought just shopping for groceries with you would be enough for him. Gotta hand it to Jimin for getting miles ahead of everyone else. AlthoughâŠÂ
âBut you have to tell him.âÂ
Dreams dashed through, he murmurs a quiet, âI know.â
âYoongi⊠Iâm glad youâre back.â
âMe, too.â Yoongi slips into line, waiting behind a young man giving his girl a cheek kiss and laughing at her dramatically wiping it away. âThanks for everything.âÂ
âYou can thank me by telling someone you need help next time. Even if itâs not me.â
As the girl goes to lift food to be scanned, she gets stopped by her boyfriend, watching with a small smile before helping him anyway. âI will.â
âGood. Love you.â
Yoongi swallows, eyes a little prickly for more than one reason. âLove you, too.âÂ
â
â
Even though Yoongi has been getting small evidence of your eating habitsâas instated by him this past weekâheâs still determined to get you more nourishment.Â
Heâs pretty sure you like the restaurant next door, so despite knowing this could get him in a world of trouble, he uses his lunch time to bring you food.Â
Writing a note and some groceries he forgot to get last time, Yoongi sets it in the paper bag and walks to your building, still in disbelief that youâve been this close this whole time. The pain of remembering how much of your life he missed while he was unreachable pangs his chest. But he deserves it, and you deserve a lot better.Â
Finally on your floor, he walks up to the receptionist before immediately ignoring their wide eyes.Â
âWho are you looking for?â
âMy girlfriend. Just dropping this off.âÂ
âOh.. This is so sweet of you.â
Yoongi doesnât even give that declaration a second thought. It came out so naturally.
Maybe he really is ready to move on.
You arenât there at your desk. Which is probably best because heâd just steal you away. So Yoongi quietly sets it on your empty space, looking at all the trinkets and pictures you have in your little world. Some are just adorable, but he spots a polaroid of your brother that clenches his chest.Â
He was there for that. You both had matching cameras and took an impromptu picture of each other at the same time. Heâs pretty sure your brother has yours very visible somewhere, too.Â
But thereâs no time to think because heâs gotta bounce.Â
Walking fast past reception, he hears a quick, âWait, are you not gonna wait for her?â
Pausing, Yoongi turns. âIâŠ.âÂ
On second thought? Yeah. Because fuck this sudden shyness, he's gonna take any chance to see you.
Be it from being impatient, or just really nervous, Yoongi waits around a nearby corner until you find your food. He needs to see your reaction to the note, because if you throw it out or ignore it? Heâll take that as the most glaring sign to give you space.
But when your hand slowly covers your mouth and your body quietly buckles, his heart beats so loud he thinks you can hear it, and his soul pulses so fucking hard his vision glosses over.Â
You will never know what you truly do to him.
Back at the studio, Yoongi is locked in the rest of his shift. Because he isnât just doing this for him now. Thereâs another reason heâll be making it big.Â
Youâre still believing in him after all this time. You still stayed.Â
And Yoongi will take over the whole world just to kneel at your feet to give it to you.Â
â
â
The entire night is perfect.Â
In fact, Yoongiâs entire life feels like itâs where it should be. Hanging out with you in a gym, starting another water fight because he still dreams about the one you sprung on him that day? This is what life is about. There are no shadows with him now that heâs fully in your light.Â
And that carries him through the night and up until the game the next day. His sleep was restful, his spirits are high, and his mind is completely spotless.Â
But with one glance at the man from Dalo, all the darkness comes rushing back in.Â
â
â
Did you just tell them all to play?Â
Even though the guy that assaulted you is on the other team, you want everyone to stay? To play out the game?Â
Seeing you look so folded in on yourself, Yoongiâs chest feels twisted with immediate rage. How the fuck are these guys allowed to even be here? How did they make it this far? That fucker is staring him in the face and heâs trying unbelievably hard to not go over there and commit felonies.Â
Honestly? If youâre really about this and want them to go ahead and play, Yoongi knows exactly how itâs gonna play out. All the scenarios are manifesting in his head and he canât help but feel a sadistic elation knowing how fucked this other team is gonna be.Â
But he looks at his best friend with heated eyes. âWhat do you wanna do?âÂ
It takes him awhile, but your brother responds exactly how he thought he would, âFuck this shit up.âÂ
âExactly.âÂ
At your addition, Yoongi looks your way, liking your spark but hoping youâre not overcompensating for anything. If youâre uncomfortable, they should just forfeit the game and bounce.Â
You arenât budging. Youâre clearly shaking and yet, you are immovable in your decision. And itâs so like you and fuck he wants to kiss your fears away in front of the whole gym just so everyone including that dipshit knows youâre forever untouchable. âThe fuckinâ nerve.âÂ
âBold,â Jimin adds from where he stands, turning to you and dropping into oblivion to say what theyâre all already thinking. âDonât worry, love.âÂ
Yoongi turns to the other bench.
âThis will be over soon.âÂ
â
â
Everything starts off exactly how they want it to.Â
Turns out, Jiminâs regimen and practice schedule worked out in everyoneâs favor. Now that theyâve played multiple games with each other, Yoongi and the other guys can communicate with just looks and moves alone. Which proves a huge advantage because theyâre making the other team look completely unorganized.Â
All those nights alone in that gym have also contributed to Yoongiâs form. This is the quickest itâs taken him to be in the zone and heâs even impressing himself with how sharp he is.Â
No one can guard him. No one can stop him. Itâs painfully obvious to them and he canât help but laugh at their shock every time, shrug at their little team squabbles, smirk at the way this idiot canât even keep up with him. Tragic? Worse.Â
But things get dicey when Rohan fouls a little too hard, everyone nearly converging on him and the guy selling his pain as if it wasnât just a normal swing. On cue, shoving and pushing happens, Yoongi being on the outskirts since heâs the last to get there.Â
Itâs over when the coaches come separate, but amongst all the racing heartbeats, your brother looks really focused coming out of the fray. Really calm. Which means something went down and he is fighting to keep his attitude in check.Â
As they both head to the bench, Yoongi immediately gets the rundown. And his whole attitude ices over with a snap.Â
âThey know which car is mine.â
Fuck.Â
That means one of two things. One, these guys just happen to really like knowing who drives what. Or two, this isnât a game anymore. This isnât the matchupâthe real one is not going down on rec center floors.Â
Yoongi is already repeating his apologies to you.Â
Well, shit. May as well have some real fun with it now. If they can get the other team to call it quits here, they may have a shot at an easier standoff later.Â
Right.Â
â
â
Yoongi doesnât like this one bit. The other team was too quiet to just have left without a word.Â
They really will be meeting them in the parking lot. And suddenly, things get a little too real.Â
This walk could be the last, depending on what they may have on them. The only shit those guys have against them is that this is a public center, and there could still be a lot of witnesses walking byâÂ
Thunder rumbles as they reach the end of the long awning jutting out from the rec center entrance, and Yoongi looks at the dark sky with lidded eyes.
Fuck. So much for people passing by. They may be left out there on their own for real.
âStill?â
At Jiminâs question, Yoongi nods. Because they still have to confront this group of cowards one last time, pouring rain or not. Revenge is never one to raincheck.Â
Maybe they bluffed. Maybe the storm settled in some seconds thoughts. The lot still looks fine, with cars emptying out one by one as they walk and the space getting more scarce. Your brotherâs car and Jiminâs exist in the same spot a ways down near the end.Â
With more than an alarming number of guys surrounding them.Â
Is that a whole fucking crew? Fuck, this was not the plan you need to get out of here and anywhere else but your place.Â
Before Yoongi can say anything, your brother beats him to it. âTaehyung. Get her out of here. Now.âÂ
And your scream of resistance tears through every cell in his body.Â
Yoongi canât even fucking look at you, even if to burn the image of your face in his mind to get through this bullshit. Because if he does? Heâll be the one hauling you away and bringing you both to the safest place he can think of without a second or third thought.Â
But he will not inconvenience his loving mother with a sudden visit just yet. When he finally brings you home, it will be for a different reason entirely.Â
âNo! What the fuckââÂ
âWeâre leaving.â
âPleaseâ! No, let me go!âÂ
This is the thought that will keep him grounded. It has to. He has to face this situation because from the way things are looking, if they donât settle this now, it will only get worse. For them, for you, for everyone.Â
Fuck, your voice. Itâs taking everything for Yoongi to keep his anger in check because, despite his malice, heâs the one that ultimately started this. He thought he was in the clear. What a fucking joke fuck youâre clawing at his ducts and he doesnât need to look at your brother to know what heâs thinking.Â
The man is fucking silent.Â
And this is the one Yoongi remembers with full body shivers. The protector. The one that will do whateverâs necessary to save the ones he loves. This is the guy Yoongi has to eventually confront, if theyâwhen theyâget out of this situation in decent pieces. If your brother did what he did for him? What the fuck is he gonna do for you?Â
But in all fairness. For the first time, Yoongi understands this side of his best friend. Because for you? Thereâs no limit to what he would do to keep you safe. What a fucking shame heâd left you in the dark for that long. If you hate him after this, heâll deal with it. At least that means you were safe enough to say it.Â
Woosung warned him. And Yoongi still didnât heed the signs.Â
But no use dwelling in it now. Your screams have morphed into sobs as Taehyung hauls you away. And with quick observation, Yoongi notices that even some of the faces heâs watching falter.Â
Youâre his everything. Your brotherâs everything. And he fucking hates himself for all those opportunities he had to be by your side, all those times he couldâve just confessed but couldnât because of his own damn faults.Â
Rolling his shoulder, Yoongi braces for the storm, your brother finally speaking with a clutched phone behind his back as soon as youâre out of earshot,Â
âLast chance.âÂ
The man from Dalo shoots out a huff of disbelief. âFor what, motherfucker.âÂ
âTo back off my fucking car.âÂ
Thunder rattles some of the guys into a step back, but your brother doesnât move. Resolute, he brims with sinister energy, its bristles curling around Yoongiâs legs and hardening Jiminâs shoulders. Even some of the guys from the team have stayed behind, which doesnât come as a shock seeing as how close they are with your older sibling.Â
âThatâs your play?â Dalo guy drawls before looking around. âOutnumbered and youâre worried about a little paint scratch?âÂ
Your brother only smirks like he has a secret. And Yoongi knows full well that itâs a bluff that always works like a charm. âI mean, Iâd be worried if I were you, but. If you can skip a few monthsâ rent to pay off the damages, go ahead.â
More of the guys shuffle in nervousness, which is the sign they all need. If they actually leave, things should end quicker. All they have to do is hold it out long enough for them to talk.Â
âHow about this,â the man suggests, poison trickling down his curve before he swings his bat right into the side mirror of your brotherâs car fuck. âLetâs see how many swings it takes for you to stop me.âÂ
âIâm gonna guess a few,â your sibling drawls under the blare of his car alarm, expertly hiding the fact that heâs pissed as another swing hits the passenger door. âGive or take.âÂ
âYou shut the fuck up,â the leader growls, smashing the nearest window right out and grinning into the vehicle. âOh, whatâs this? Iâll take that, thank you.âÂ
âDonât.â
Yoongiâs blood freezes as he sees exactly what the guy takes, noticing the matching polaroid that your brother has of you thatâs always on the dash.Â
Oh, fuck this noise and fuck this guy. Now heâs waving it like a little trophy? All bets are fucking off. No amount of morals will help him now and your brother turns downright murderous.Â
âThink Iâll get a lot of good use out of this,â the assaulter boasts with a sinister grin, shoving the picture in his pocket that Yoongi can only assume reeks of sweat and cowardice. Thunder booms once more, and droplets start pinging off shoulders and sweaty heads.Â
He wants to hurl thinking of what the guy means, and he doesnât even realize heâs one step further than before until an arm stops him at his chest. Turning, Yoongi sees his best friendsâ eyes ablaze but still facing forward, and he stops his stridesâmind racing with rage.Â
âYour girl looked good today, by the way!â The Dalo guy appraises with a lift of his chin, rain running down his angular cheekbones and staining his dark mesh. Yoongi snaps his gaze forward again because shit this is being addressed to him. âWe got a nice view from our bench.âÂ
Fuck this dude. What the fuck is happening to his spiking heart rate? Is it anger? The rain? A thunderous mixture of both?Â
On heavenly cue, thunder tears through the sky again, raindrops starting to pick up just to drown this guyâs talking,Â
âThink itâs time for me to see her again? Her skinâs so soft, bet it feels like heaven when yâall fuck, huh?â
âNot gonna share?â The man turns to your brother with the evilest glint in his eye. âGuess I can always stop by and ask her myself.âÂ
When the sky rains down in sheets, everything erupts at once.Â
â
â
Gritty, darker days of the past melt into Yoongiâs vision as the night blurs and roars around him.Â
For a brief moment in time, he doesnât think theyâll make it. Youth has slipped its protection from their bones, taking the recklessness of their souls with it. They havenât done this in ages. And it fucking shows.
Because Yoongiâs side hurts like a motherfucker and his palms sting with white hot singe. Rain and bodies slow in their motion as he takes it all in, and his eyes droop as he shifts closer to his friendsâmind swirling like the lights pulsing down the street.
Your brother smacks into wet ground before wrenching himself back up, and a Jimin sporting a botched eye yanks him backward before distancing them all from another hit. The other guys from the team shield their blind spots, everyone now mangled and boxed in tighter and tighter.
This is because of him. He did this. He did all of this.
Mind and skin slick from the rain, his guards crumble. Dark thoughts flood back in and inundate his every crevasse. You deserve to hate him and you should you should you should.Â
A prideful laugh erupts before yelling out, âLetâs get this over with, yeah?âÂ
âYou arenât gonna do shit,â your brother taunts.
âThink so?â As the man reaches behind his back, Jiminâs voice pierces like an arrow,Â
âWatch it!â
Acting without thought, Yoongi bolts to his friend, knowing what to do but not having a plan for whatâs next oh fuck whatâs this guy pulling outâ
âYoongi!â
If anything, he can at least go out with the knowledge that he kept your brother safe. Youâll be safe with him. Yoongi will find a way back to you even if it takes another lifetime or two.Â
Rain roars down as something dark is pulled from the manâs pants. But Yoongi can barely make out what it is as he shoves your brother out of the way.
"No!"
He's frozen. He can't fucking move. Your bright light is the only thing that flashes into his mind as he stares into glinting, vengeful eyes.
But everyone else will be safe. That is the most important. The only thing that matters.Â
Suddenly, sirens sound from a ways down, everyone flinching in the downpour. Lights swirl and swirl, and itâs your brotherâs exhausted admission that shocks everyone,Â
âThose are for you, by the way.â
âThe fuck?â The man backs up immediately, shocked when half the guys are already scrambling off. âYou fuckinâ snitched?â
âWhat can.. I say,â your sibling huffs through heavy breaths. âDonât mess.. with my fuckinâ car.â
âBullshit.âÂ
âStay if you want.â Straightening with a repressed wince, your brother sets a hand on Yoongiâs good shoulder before walking right up to the man that assaulted you, weapon in hand be damned. âItâll make it easier for them to spot you. You know, with all the cameras and shit.âÂ
ââŠHuh?â
âWeâre in a public lot, genius.â He wipes blood from the side of his face, looking up behind him at the very obvious camera positioned on the nearest floodlight. âAnd if we run the tape back, yâall smashed my property.âÂ
The man slowly smiles. âAnd youâre on the same footage instigating a fight. What if I justâŠâ Something happens between their bodies, but Yoongi canât see what. âDo it right here? Defend myself?â
Your brother raises his shoulders before exaggerating a sigh. âSee, the thing isâŠâ Hands on his hips, he reminds Yoongi of you, flinging him back to a very similar rainy afternoon with much less harrowing stress. How heâs remaining so calm is unfathomable. âYou broke into my car and stole from me. Anyone seeing that footageâyou know, before the rainâis just gonna see⊠Well, us trying to stop you.â
The sirens get louder and louder, and more of the guys have long gone by now. But your assaulter stays in disbelief, eyelids blinking away rain and arms shaking. âThey canât catch me from those cams.â
âProbably. But they can pick up your voice from my recordings.â Looking down, your brother finishes with bored finality, expertly ignoring the fact that he's millimeters from death. âAnd you have my picture in your pants, dumbass.â
Yoongiâs never seen someone slam a hand into their pockets so fast. As the polaroid falls into puddles, a voice quivers while something is tucked back in wet pants, âFuck you.âÂ
Before he can run, the man gets snagged by his jersey, sirens blaring closer and closer as your brother unleashes his final threats, âSince you did the smart thing and spared me, I'll be nice. But I donât wanna see you, I donât wanna see any of them. Come around again, and Iâll make sure you never see daylight, you understand?âÂ
Fully rattled, the man throws his hands up with a growl, âFine, I got it! Fuck!âÂ
With the last dashes of a coward, the team is left alone in the lot.Â
Turning their drenched heads and shoulders just in time to see the cops fly by.
â
â
After a quick check to make sure no oneâs sporting a major injury, all the team members that stayed are told to go home before any other cops come to ask whatâs up. Your brother finishes calling a tow truck for his battered pride and joy, and Yoongi rejoins him with a very silent Jimin.Â
Even though the rain never stops, the three of them wait until everyone else is driving off. Until everyone else is safely on the way back to some place dry.Â
When alone, the three of them turn to each other without a single word.Â
Itâs done. Itâs really done.
â
â
Just sliding into the passenger seat of Jiminâs car makes Yoongi hiss in pain.Â
Groans from the others fill the humid space, and Jimin makes sure the lot is completely cleared again before watching his rearview mirror. âHow the fuck did you know the cops would come?âÂ
âI didnât.âÂ
Jiminâs good eye widens. âThat was just coincidence?âÂ
âSo was the rain being this bad.âÂ
Fucking hell, they lucked out on every single thing they couldâve lucked out on. If it went down any other way? At least one of them wouldâve been lying face down on pavement.Â
Swallowing, Jimin clutches his wheel with one hand before asking next, âWell.. What are you gonna do? You leave tomorrow, right?â
Theyâre about to talk about the towed, smashed car he called in. So Yoongiâs just gonna lean into his seat and try to fucking breathe.Â
âYeah,â your brother huffs out. âUmm. Iâm not sure. Thereâs no getting out of this trip, and I canât exactly tell my boss what happened.âÂ
âNeed us to bring it into the shop tomorrow?â
âReally? Damn, thatâd be perfect, thanks. Iâll just get a ride to the airport in the morning then.âÂ
Yoongi winces to himself as he adjusts, hearing a groaning curse from the backseat at the same time. âYou sure youâre good to leave tomorrow?â
âYeah, Iâll be alright.â The man sighs. âCouple hours of ice and some bandages should do it. And the suits will cover most of me up.âÂ
âK.â
Jimin starts the car, hand gripping the center console so hard his veins pop. âI gotta say⊠That was the first time Iâve been that scared. In a long time.â
The whole space falls silent in agreement.
Itâs your brother that croaks out next. âThe last time we were in shit that deep.. Yoong got his back thrown into that barbed fence.â
At that, Yoongi looks out the window.
âBut the important part is that we made it. And they wonât be coming around now that we have shit on them. Fuck, the way I wanted to justââ
Yoongi cuts his sentence off immediately, âLuckily you chose logic.â
âYeah. I guess.â
âWe just all have someone to live for now,â Jimin grits out with frustration. âSo can we just.. Not do this anymore?â
Another hush of understanding falls over the group, and everyone quietly agrees.Â
âGood.â Jimin rolls his car forward and starts calling someone, setting his phone down while Taehyungâs name shows on his car screen.Â
âHey.â
He answered. Which means youâre right at his side. Fuck, Yoongiâs heart is pounding so hard itâs drowning out the rainfall. Your voice. He needs it. Heâll take anything you have to say.Â
âHey.âÂ
âYou okay?â
Jiminâs tongue prods his cheek. âYeah, weâre all alright, butâŠâ
âSay it.â
As Jimin relays the damage, Yoongi starts picking at his fingernails in nervousness, something he hasnât done in so long but still feels like second nature. âMy eye is pretty fucked. Yoongiâs face is cut up and heâs got some nasty bruises on hisââÂ
âWhere is he.â
Oh. Thatâs really you.Â
Shit.
Jimin audibly pauses on the line before having the audacity to chuckle. What the fuck is he laughing for? What about any of this could possibly be funny?Â
âThis isnât funny, Park. Where the fuck is he?âÂ
âWith us,â Jimin slowly answers, as if this suspense is good for anyone. âIn the car.âÂ
At least he has enough mercy to start out with including your brother. Hopefully that first response was enough to clue you in before saying anything more damning. Not that something damning wasnât already said. Fuck, this wasnât exactly what Yoongi meant when he said he wanted to hear you. But goddamn if his soul isnât already pulsing at the thought of you asking about him.Â
After another beat, Jimin decides to spell it out for you. And Yoongi feels like heâs about to dangle from a precipice. âYour brotherâs here, too.âÂ
âAh⊠Am I on speaker.âÂ
Both Yoongi and Jimin look at the center screen, already knowing your brother is looking, too. âUmm.. Yeah.âÂ
Whatever Yoongi thinks youâre gonna do or say? Is nothing compared to what you actually do. He hasnât been this chewed out in ages and the pit in his stomach morphs into a void.
âActually, you know what? Good. Now I can say youâre all idiots and immature as fuck.âÂ
The man in the back tries to cut you off to no avail. âHey, wait a damn minuteââÂ
âI waited long enough!âÂ
Yoongi physically feels his whole soul sag with guilt, guilt, guilt.Â
âI know this shit isnât new to yâall, but really? You didnât need to do this.âÂ
âHe was gonnaââ
âAll you had to do was play the game! Whyâd you have to make them mad? Do you even know what couldâve happened back there?âÂ
Yes, they all know. In fact, Yoongi is still mentally running from that one split second of terror. If the dude from Dalo was reaching, that could only mean a couple things and he doesnât wanna think of either one. How the fuck is he supposed to face you now? When he almost gotâ
âJust tell me one thing⊠Is this gonna happen again?âÂ
That one your brother answers with finality. âThey wonât be coming around anymore.âÂ
Yoongi hopes to everything in the universe that itâs true. Judging by the fear in those eyes? The way they all ran? Thereâs no way theyâre coming back. But the adrenaline pulsing through his cuts and bruises gives some room for doubts.Â
âOkay⊠Are you okay?âÂ
Your sibling answers yet again, making things seem much less concerning than they really are. As usual. âMe? Yeah, the hits I took were weak as fuck. Iâll get home soon so if you wanna order in tonight we can.âÂ
âFuck that.âÂ
âHuh?âÂ
âBro, you donât even know how fucking mad I am. Iâm going to Yuriâs.âÂ
That shake in your voice will stay for a very, very long time. Even as his best friend dares to question you, Yoongiâs throat remains shut. âWhat? Nah, come home tonight and weâll talk.âÂ
âI justâNo.â Fuck. Your pause is the loudest thing. Itâs long enough to make them all think youâve hung up, but he has a feeling the next thing you say will crush him.Â
And heâs right.Â
âIâm not talking to any of you for awhile.âÂ
You mean that. Thereâs no doubt in Yoongiâs mind that youâre dead set on cutting them all off with no hesitation. And they all deserve it, especially him. What they did tonight was idiotic and couldâve been avoided in a thousand ways. You have every fucking right to be furious. Truthfully, youâre kinda letting them all off easy. Â
Once again, your brother is the spokesperson for the car. Because why would anyone else be, right? ââŠFine. But go asap then. I donât want you out late on your own.âÂ
ââŠOf course you donât.â
And you hang up so fast it cuts Yoongiâs breath in two.Â
Silence follows. Followed by a multitude more. Unspoken thoughts are forming dark clouds in the car, stuffing the space and jamming cotton in everyoneâs ears.Â
In the rear view mirror, Yoongi watches his friend rub both hands over his face before a fist bangs against leather upholstery, Jimin reacting immediately with a quick,
âBehave.â
âSorry.â A rustle of clothes and guilt follows. âI just⊠My sisterâs right. What the fuck are we doing anymore? This one was stupid.â
âAll the fights weâve been a part of have been stupid,â Jimin tuts, looking over his shoulder and wincing before turning a corner. âFuck, my eye.â
Yoongi offers with a hand still slung over his waist, voice hoarse, âNeed me to drive?âÂ
âNo one with a death wish gets to drive my car.â Jimin hisses out another whoosh of pain. âBut no, I can make it to his place.â
âK.â
âAnd sheâs right.â Jimin rolls to a stop at the next light. âEven if tonight was coming, this couldâve been prevented. Or done another way. Honestly, Iâm surprised we made it out.â
âSame,â Yoongi agrees.Â
âGlad I got his shit recorded,â your brother sighs, wincing while adjusting his seat. âThey shouldnât be able to refute the recordings in courtâfuckâif it gets to that point.â
âWhat happens if theyââ
âForget about them,â Yoongi interjects, earning two looks of shock and feeling a little surprised himself. When the car starts moving again, he works his hurt jaw, trying to figure out how to word his ever twisting thoughts. âWe didnât tell her anything and thatâs where we fucked up.â
Did that come out too upsetting? Can he blame it on his aching side? Does it even matter anymore? Does anything?
âHow do you know that.â
Stiffening ever so slightly, Yoongi uses his battered side as an excuse to shift. Wincing, he looks at the center console, choosing not to peer out the window on purpose. Face this shit now. Tell the truth in parts to control it,
âShe told me.âÂ
Jimin doesnât acknowledge that answer, instead turning at the next corner and checking his mirrors.Â
âWhen.âÂ
Motherfucker. Yoongiâs mouth is drying out so fast he doesnât taste the blood anymore. Everything feels like sandpaper, scratching his tongue, tearing his esophagus to shreds. The rasp that results rips his throat red,
âAfterââ
âAfter I told her everything,â Jimin jumps in, throwing a blanket over his fire. As Yoongi gives him a look, he continues with eyes on the road, âAt that party you hosted a few days after you came back.â
Thank god the blond knows to step up when heâs needed. Yoongi still canât think straight and was about to admit he called you during that party. Full on busted. And how would that have gone?Â
âThe party IâŠ? Oh, the one that Sunday? Fuck.â Your brother wipes his lower face before shutting tired eyes. âI remember now. Cus I was gonna tell her back then, but everyone started coming over.âÂ
âWe shouldâve told her before Dalo even happened,â Yoongi says with a sag to his voice.Â
Thankfully, all suspicion and tightness is gone from your siblingâs voice. Only agreement resonates. âYeah.. Yeah.âÂ
More silence washes over the car, sweat and rainwater caked on skin while blood hardens in layers. Though Jimin makes no comment, Yoongi knows heâs gonna pay for any damages just sitting in here will accrue.Â
Rolling up to your house, Jimin parks in the driveway, all of them still wordlessly suffering because of all the shit he started.Â
Yoongi canât see it any other way. This all happened because of him, whether his best friend says so or not. Yeah, he threw that punch on the court back then, but Yoongiâs the one that fell for the taunts. How fucking stupid. And to think he thought all of this would just, what, go away with time?Â
You reached for him on the court this last game. You were begging for him to tone it the fuck down. Once again, he didnât listen, blinded by the anger boiling overâat that coward, and at himself.Â
But youâre safe, your brother is safe, and everyone that fought today is fine. Yoongiâs gonna count every blessing that he can before the darkness wins again.Â
âThanks for driving, Chim,â your brother grunts as he opens the door. âAnd Yoongi?âÂ
He turns to look his way. Staring right into those eyes laser focused and exhausted to hell all at once. Not even the pouring rain can divert either of them from breaking contact.Â
âGet out of the fucking car.â
Fuck.
Yoongi works his cheek before grunting out of the doorway, winding the car and knowing Jimin is on high alert inside. If this is about you? If this is the battle he was supposed to fight for months?Â
Maybe heâs not making it out tonight after all.Â
As soon as Yoongi gets close, heâs yanked forward by the collar, eyes unmoving as he knows not to flinch. Heâs gonna own his shit, as much as heâs scared out of his fucking mind right now.Â
Words rip low from your siblingâs lips, âWhatever the fuck you did? Donât even think about doing it again.âÂ
And there it is.Â
The door heâd been so desperate to open has been sealed completely shut, caught in this torrential downpour and retreating so far back he canât see it any longer. âIâm sorry,â he rasps out. âI was gonnaââ
âJiminâs right. You got a fucking death wish? What the fuck is wrong with you? How would you think I wouldnât figure it out?âÂ
Ice blocks all his veins, freezing his chest over and chilling him below his bones. Everything from the moment you knocked on his door to now comes rushing past his vision and breaking in lightning quick snaps.Â
All Yoongi wanted to do was protect you. And now heâs gonna lose both of you.Â
Shoving him backwards, your brother growls out. âI just⊠Are you fucking serious?â He sighs to the ground, rain drenching his already slicked head and steaming shoulders. âYou got one life, and a future bright as fuck. Stop throwing it away so easily, or weâre done.âÂ
What?
Now Yoongiâs eyes jolt for another reason. Shock thrums and resets his body, forcing it to grapple with the real conflict between them. âThis is about me saving your life?âÂ
âWhat the fuck else would it be!â Your sibling rushes forward and shoves him again, and Jimin is fully springing out of his car now. âThe fuck were you thinking?â
âWhat the hell are you two doing?âÂ
âYouâre fucking kidding me. Are you serious? He was about toââ
âI can handle my own shit!â
Jimin keeps a bull from charging again, full on forcing him back. âWhat the fuck!â
âI can save you from an idiot with a gun,â your sibling grits out like itâs hurting him from the inside, âBut not her, dude.âÂ
Her? What the fuck? Â
âYeah, donât think I believed you for a fucking second. Sheâs still there, huh? I can see it all over your face!â
As Jimin stills in his pushing, Yoongiâs feet start to get tugged into the earth.Â
âLook at you. Gone for days at a time, starting shit on the court, and justâthrowing yourself out with no plan? Do you even care about your life anymore?â
Thunder cracks the sky once more, punctuating his words on impact.
And it's Jiminâs turn to shove his friend back, voice tightened in ice, âI suggest you choose your next words very carefully.â
âDo you?â
Life slows around Yoongi, magnifying the pain he feels in his side and the blow he took straight to the lip. Everything hurts. Everythingâs numb.Â
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this isnât what he bargained for at all. And even though itâs been forever since heâs seen his ex, he can feel her ghost howling and grinning like a victor, tearing his heartbeats to shreds.Â
Your brotherâs right about her still being burrowed in his place. That has been the case for months and he needs to fix that. But caring about his life? Of course he does. Did it look like he was just throwing himself out? Truthfully he doesnât remember everything he did he just acted on pure instinct. âThatâs not.. Itâs not like thatââ
Shucking off a persistent Jimin, your brother straightens and backs up a step. âSomeone to live for, huh? Yeah, count me the fuck out. Her? What the fuck, Yoong?âÂ
No. Not this again. Say something. Say fucking anything to fix this shit. The dread that settles into his stomach is finding permanent residence because heâs about to lose his best friend for the wrong reason, âListen, Iââ
âSave it. As long as youâre still with her I am done.â
The panic in Jiminâs eyes matches his own, his hands trembling as he keeps them separated, âItâs not like that, okay? Both of you need toââ
âGet out.â
Yoongi and Jimin still, with the latter asking a shocked, slow, âWhat?â
âYou heard me.â Your brother backs up towards the house, rain falling in rivers across his skin and failing to hide the streams from his eyes. âGet his ass home. Iâm not saying shit until sheâs gone.âÂ
âBut sheâsâsheâs not evenââ
âIâm out.âÂ
â
â
Rain stains the windows of Jiminâs car in splotches.Â
After the entire drive goes by in silence, Yoongi slides tired eyes up to see his place coming into view.Â
âYoongi.âÂ
He doesnât respond.Â
âIâm staying with you tonight.âÂ
Shutting down, he gives his friend a shoulder so cold even he regrets it. âNo.â He knows Jiminâs already red-rimmed and teary. So he keeps his head down and arm slung over his waist. âTaehyung needs you.âÂ
âPlease,â Jimin begs, voice wavering and full of fear. Which is justified. He knows what will happen if heâs left alone. âIâm staying. I can get him and we can both stay, justââ
âNot tonight.âÂ
A sniffle is the only response. âI fucked up. Iâm so sorry I messed it all up, but please donât do anything when Iâm not there toââ
âIâll be fine.â Yoongi clicks the door open, greeted by the boom of thunder and endless rain. He can hear the desperation in his best friendâs pleas, but this is something he canât let anyone witness. Not feeling in control of his body is frightening, and he needs to be isolated. Again.
Before shutting the door, he turns. âThis is something I have to do alone.âÂ
âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
âIâll⊠Iâll tell you about it tomorrow.âÂ
More sobs wrack Jiminâs body as he wipes his bruised eye with shaky fingers. âPromise me thereâs a tomorrow.âÂ
Oh. Jimin thinks the worst. Fuck, Yoongi is hurting all of his friends in every fucking way possible. âChim,â he sighs, rain lowering his temperature so much he shakes. âItâs not like that at all. K?âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
âI just⊠Yeah. Weâll talk about it when Iâm ready.âÂ
âYoongi,â Jimin halts him right as heâs closing the door. âI really am sorry.âÂ
And he looks down at the seat he just occupied, rainwater and sweat and regret and relief all sunk into leather upholstery,
âMe, too.âÂ
â
â
As Yoongi stumbles into his apartment, he doesnât bother to turn the lights on. Why would it matter if all theyâll do is highlight the repercussions of his decisions? The stupid fucking decisions ever since the day he damned you all.Â
A shadow snickers, wrapping around his brain and forcing him to recite them all once again. Just like he had been over the last three months.Â
Yoongiâs shoes trip over nothing as he stumbles, careening to the floor and smacking a bruised shoulder on impact. White hot pain zings up his limb, shoving out a curse and a wheeze as he lies still because he canât. Fucking. Move.Â
All he wanted to do was protect you. Those guys were loaded with dark intentions and he lost it defending your honor. But that doesnât negate the fact that he put you and your brother in danger. Heâs the one that started the fight on the court that day, heâs the one that messed up by making you feel unwanted. Danger? He put you in that. The club? He put you in there, too, and almost tore his mind apart when he saw what happened to you there. What did you say to him afterward? When you both were in the safety of your own bed?Â
âI was so scared.âÂ
Yoongi punches the floor, gritting his teeth before willing himself to get. Up. Limb by limb, muscle by muscle, he slowly rises to his feet, kicking off his shoes and stripping off his damp, bloody clothes. Because itâs done. The danger wonât reach anyone he cares for any longer, and yetâŠÂ
He can barely change into new garments as his mind flashes with more reminders, like how he messed up rushing to defend you at the party, making his best friend silently size him up and wrenching daggers in his side. Even leaving you to deal with his shadow fucked you up, because he couldnât bring himself to tell you why he even left in the first place.Â
But thereâs a lot of that hesitation going around. After all, he hasnât even confessed to you brother yet. Just the thought makes him want to hurl, and he almost does.Â
But Yoongi quickly shakes his head, as if doing so flings the memories away. He stalks through his living room, his path illuminated by the flashes of lightning and shaken by the booms of angry thunder.Â
You may as well command the very skies. Because your rage seems to mirror them tonight, and he cannot blame you one bit for tearing them all apart. God, he canât get that tremble in your voice out of his fucking head. You sounded so hoarse, so broken, so defeated and yet so strong.Â
In a screwed up way, Yoongi is proud of you for telling them off, setting off a new conversation that ended in them making amends to how they settle things from now on. They all deserved that as much as they needed it.Â
Youâre too good for him. Yoongi has thought this once before, but itâs more than true now as he stops at the corner of his living room. The darkest one. The one that's been driving him to the brink of insanity and back again.
Itâs so loud right here.Â
Darkness winds around him in waves, only fleeing when lighting floods the room. His face pulses in pain just as much as his side, and he hunches forward, almost touching the neck of his black guitar case.Â
Yoongi can only stare.Â
He messed up a lot of things. He knows that. And yet, you havenât run from him once. Even when he fucked up again, and again, and again, you never ran. That day you almost walked out the door? Yoongiâs heart crumpled and squeezed when he saw you turn right back, eliminating that stabbing fear in his chest and replacing it with a heal of hope.Â
But you finally cut him off tonight.Â
And honestly, that was the best decision you couldâve made.Â
Gripping the firm cloth of the case, he unzips from the top, moving in slow, calculated motions. Thunder rumbles overhead, and he almost flings back to the first time this instrument of disaster was gifted to him. But he fights the memory, quietly choking the guitar by the neck and lifting it from its confines.Â
He hears it gasping. Fuck, he hears the screaming.Â
And therein lies the root of his manic war.Â
This isnât just an instrument. This isnât just an object.Â
Itâs a life.Â
If he does anything to it, the guilt will forever mar his conscience. Heâll carry this violence wherever he goes.Â
But what else can he do? If he throws it out and someone finds it, the shadow can come back to haunt him. Or inflict its power over someone else. Is that too much of a stretch? Is he truly going insane now?Â
A fuck up. A screw up. For as long as he can remember, Yoongi believed those were all used to describe him. However, if you have taught him one thing in the time heâs orbited your presence, itâs a simple fact. He may be a fuck up, and he may be a screw upâŠÂ
But he was still a good person.Â
Those labels plagued him for years, had him questioning his very existence and rocked him off balance every time he stepped out of line.Â
All this time, those words were a projection, flung at him with the intention of making them stick until he couldnât rub them off. Mud, mud, so much mud had been flung onto his brain and buried his very essence so far deep that he couldnât even find it anymore. Even his vision dulled, colors looked less vivid, life didnât feel worth living.Â
But Yoongi has fucking had it with the sludge. He already faced your nightmare head on just to keep you safe. If he had to trudge through a thousand miles of sludge next just to get to you? Heâs doing it. Because youâre so fucking worth it and heâs not wasting anymore fucking time on these lies, these half-truths, this bullshit.Â
Tightening fingers around polished wood so hard that strings bite into his skin, Yoongi turns, lightning flashing and casting his own shadow into his room.Â
His shadow. No one elseâs. Heâs not letting there be two of them in here any longer.Â
The screaming reaches a shrill cry.
A dizzying thought roars in his brain once more, crumpling him at the waist and making his ribs sting. Breaths ragged, he squeezes both eyes tight and heaves at the painful pulse of his head.Â
That whole time away didnât even matter, did it? All it took was one phone call to have your brother on his ass yet again.Â
Fuck. Is he gonna have to keep his distance again? Shit. He didnât think about that under all the pain heâs sporting right now, all the mental assault heâs enduring because it is relentless tonight.Â
Goddamn it. He canât deal with another three months away from you. Even three days without you sounds like agony and death right now, because he has to spend his days and nights with the monster in his hand. The dark will await him once more, but he doesnât want it anymore. Itâs not part of him. Itâs not itâs not itâs not.Â
Eyes slowly opening, Yoongi slowly straightens as much as his ribs allow, shifting his lidded eyes to the weight he carries.Â
Get rid of it.Â
Throw it out, all of it, all of it.Â
But how? He canât move to throw it away. His feet stay glued to the floor as he struggles to even carry it another second. His chokehold slips, staccato notes giving way to a cacophonic hum as the bottom of the instrument hits the floor.Â
Get rid of it.Â
Itâs like youâre speaking to him. But how is that possible? Is this what happens when one descends into madness? Because thatâs what Yoongi feels in the marrow of his bones. Burdened by the fact that no matter what he does, heâs gonna mess it all up. No matter what he tries, it will be in vain. Heâll never be happy. Heâll never get the future he wants. The future with you. With you, with you, with you, wasnât he just fighting for you? What the fuck is happening to his brain?Â
Get rid of it.Â
He canât.Â
Get rid of it.Â
He canât.Â
Throw it out. All of it, all of it.Â
âŠCan he?Â
Yoongi struggles to breathe, heaving out dry, bitter struggle once again. His limbs almost give under the weight of the mud, the pile of sludge. The door seems so far away and he canât crawl to it any more. Thereâs too much trash. Thereâs too much pain.Â
Your voice rings across his mind one more, desperate time.Â
Get rid of it.Â
And someoneâs wise words from awhile ago echo right behind like a ripple. A mantra. A reminder.
âIf thereâs something you need to get through...âÂ
Manic resolve seizes the reins.Â
âHit it until it breaks.â
Lightning flashes in slow motion as Yoongi doesnât even feel himself. He hears the bangs, the crashes, the splinting of wood and shrieking of glass as something enormous tramples through his living room. But nothing feels real, his vision isnât his, those lifts of his arms arenât his doing as swing, after swing, after heavy final swing hits in front of him.Â
This is everything he wanted to unleash in that parking lot. Every movement swathed in rage.
Strings snap, whipping out in all directions as glittery rain falls onto his rug and his floors, skittering in all directions and glinting off the storm light outside.Â
His throat is hoarse. His ribs are worse.Â
And his brain goes completely dark.Â
â
â
When Yoongi blinks, his living room looks unfamiliar.Â
Until he wakes amongst millions of shattered pieces, surrounding his bloody limbs in a descent suspended in time.Â
Somewhere, what was once a guitar is split in pieces, slain in cold blood to be rid of the shadow inside. A death necessary for life. Yoongi vows to never break an instrument like that again.Â
He did it. It finally happened. The only shadow he can see is his.Â
âŠRight?Â
Yes. Yes. Itâs over.
â
â
Floating.Â
Endless, endless floating. The ocean of his mind is calmer without the scepter in the room, but heâs so exhausted he can only move his eyes.
Thereâs a voice in the dark box he puts himself in. But that doesnât make sense, does it? When heâs supposed to always end up alone.Â
Jimin did his best. So did everyone else. But itâs a simple fact that, in the end, itâs only gonna be him here, listening to you call out to let you in.
Wait. Thatâs really you. Youâre calling him? Has he been responding? When the fuck did he even answer his phone?Â
No. You shouldnât be here tonight. Not tonight. Not like this.Â
Regret and anger fill him to the brim as he screams at himself to not push you away. But he will, breaking his own heart to save you from seeing him in his aftermath. You donât need to see this. You should be miles from where he lies.Â
âNot tonight.â
But on the other side of his door, you are fighting like you never have before.Â
âYoongi, I swear to godââÂ
âNot tonightââ
ââyou donât let me in Iâmââ
âGo homeââ
âIâm fucking staying out here until you open the goddamn door!â
Why? Why are you still there? Why are you trying so hard and why does your effort hit him square in the chest? In his mind, heâs reaching for the door but he canât get there. Still so far away. But youâre screaming for him to try. Begging.Â
âIâm serious.â
âNo.â
âGo home.âÂ
âNo!âÂ
It takes everything for him to utter your name, because he feels like even that he doesnât deserve to say.Â
He could hang up. He could just shut you out. So why isnât he? Is he turning away, or clinging on to your outstretched hand?Â
Yoongi knows why heâs still on the line. Itâs because he needs you. Fuck, he needs you and yet he wants you the furthest distance possible. You canât see this. Any of this. Youâd cast him away and never look back.
Which is why he finally reaches the point of begging, âPlease.â
Your silence drags on. Only the shaky, quick breaths you exhale fill the deadened air and squeeze his lungs.Â
Go. Donât go. Stay. Run.Â
No matter what Yoongi begs you to do, heâs already screaming at himself to do something. Because even if he doesnât let you in, youâre just gonna keep standing there. Three months you kept your distance, and youâll wait another ten until he lets you in. Thatâs just who you are.
And thatâs the you he fell in love with.Â
But Yoongi feels the most broken he could ever feel. The most damaged, though the worst is over now. What are you going to say? How are you going to react? Will you run?Â
Will you leave?Â
Donât leave.Â
Donât leave him alone.Â
Heart on its last desperate breaths, Yoongi lies still, hoping you say something yet begging for you to take one last chance.Â
He thought it was best to be left alone. And now heâs silently calling out for you to open the door.Â
ââŠNo.âÂ
His heart pulses waves throughout the living room, beating stronger and stronger and yanking his limbs into action.Â
Breathe. Focus. Get the fuck up and walk, crawl, do anything but just get to the fucking door.Â
So crawl he does. Across shards, across rainwater, across the damage he dealt to the last piece of him that needed breaking. Your effort cannot be left alone and heâs going to meet you halfway.Â
Fuck, heâs still cold. Still wet. But he will keep crawling on forearms until he can muster the courage to stand up and let you inâno matter how long it fucking takes. The ground feels like sludge and dirt and blood and itâs so dark. He may drown here. But that wonât stop him because he will trudge through hell to reach your voice and this is one and the same.Â
Almost there.Â
Stand the fuck up.Â
Unlock the door.Â
As soon as your face comes into view, Yoongi doesnât quite register what you say but heâs already preparing toâ
With a sudden fit of strength, he grips your waist and tugs you back into him, both to keep your feet from danger and to selfishly feel the warmth of his only source of sunlight.Â
Youâre silent. Youâre still.Â
âI told you, doll.â
Your sob is all he needs to know. Instead of the pain of you choosing to leave, Yoongi gives you the out one more time.Â
Despite desperately wanting you to stay right by his side.Â
âGo home.â
-
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tbc in fugue, pt. iv
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so... thoughts before the last fugue? | join the server! | fugue pt. iv
a/n: we have one more part to fugue left, and if you guys remember everything that happens after reader sees the wreckage.. let's just say the rest is gonna be the most important, most heartfelt parts from yoongi's pov. i seriously cannot wait to share this last fugue chapter with you all, and i wanna do it the most justice i can offer.
a/n 2: i love you all so much, and i've missed being here. thank you all again for being so patient with me as i work through an entire inner working of 3tan yoongi. i knew i wanted to take this on, but i did not account for how much it would affect me mentally. it's been a rough but necessary journey for the both of us. all we know for sure is that we needed to brave the sludge to end in full bloom. and that's where we are finally heading next.
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feedback box:
â„ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
â„ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
â„ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. itâs literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as youâd like!
â„ here!
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more links:
â„ masterlistÂ
â„ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 3: we have a slight goal to hit before 3tanfugue4 is posted! i want to make sure we have activity here before posting the next part, and some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. so we're gonna try it and see how it goes! if we don't dig this idea, we can go back to normalcy after fugue4.
note goal: 800 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tanfugue4 will be dropped as planned! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
â§Â SERIES SUMMARY:Â You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed itâd be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, youâre helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like youâre doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you.
â§Â SERIES TAGS:Â enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut, fake/pretend relationship (not main couple), rockstar!yoongi, model!reader, guitarist yoongi, singer jungkook, bassist taehyung, drummer jimin, manager namjoon, yoongi & maknae line are in a rock band, reader & seokjin are best friends, yoongi & hoseok are best friends (sope duo ftw), yoongi has a tongue piercing, reader is a brat
â§Â CHAPTER TAGS: fully in MC pov, flashbacks (in nightmare form) in italics, picking up the morning after the last chapter, thereâs a surprising amount of fluff here tbh, but also angst of course, POF!yoongi is having his redemption arc, many questions are answered in this chapter if you pay attention, jimin and taehyung cameo, and seokjin, JK causing trouble, i donât want to give too much away so iâll leave it at that but if i missed anything lmk, nsfw warnings under the cut, minors do not interact with any of my works (see series masterlist for series warnings)
â§Â CHAPTER WORDCOUNT:Â 16.5k words
â§Â AUTHORâS NOTE: iâm so sorry for the wait!!! i wanted to get POF8 finished and posted before ticketing opens on thursday (whoâs ready for arirang btw?!) so here it is! consider this our last gooey, semi-happy chapter (if you can even consider any of POF gooey or semi-happy lol) for a while, because after this⊠just prepare yourselves lol
thank you to K @ktownshizzle and claret @yoonmetogether for beta reading this chapter and giving it so much love! everyone, have you heard that my beloved claret is back???? go follow her RRRRIGHT NOW because she is genuinely one of the best writers on this site and you donât want to miss the fics sheâs cooking up! go follow the amazing K as well if you arenât already, because her 2026 lineup is soooooo⊠oughhhhhhhh⊠i love having talented friends yâall
anyway, i hope you all enjoy this chapter! <3 i canât wait to hear what everyone thinks now that some frequently asked questions have finally been answered!
CH. 08:Â THE NIGHT WE MET
â§ NSFW WARNINGS: kissing deserves to be in the nsfw warnings for this one tbh, dirty talk, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), yoongiâs tongue piercing of course, vaginal fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, pulling out, multiple orgasms, lmk if i missed anything
Youâre on stage.
The lights are too bright, white and hot and drilling straight into your skull. They flatten everything, erase depth, erase distance. Your hands are slick with sweat, fingers trembling as you raise the microphone to your lips. It feels heavier than it should, like itâs filled with lead.
You try to breathe. You know this song. Youâve sung it a thousand timesâalone in your room, in the studio, mouthed silently with your face pressed into a pillow so no one would hear you mess up. The words are carved into you. They should be.
Theyâre gone.
Your lips part. Nothing comes out.
The crowd stretches out before you, an endless sea of faceless, expressionless bodies. Silence presses down on you, suffocating you, like hands on your shoulders. Like hands around your throat.
Your grip slips.
A brief, violent shriek of feedback slices through the air. Somewhere, far away, someone coughs.
Say something, you tell yourself. Sing, smile, do anythingâbut your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth. You close your eyes.
When you open them, youâre somewhere else.
The air is colder here, frigid and sharp with the scent of cleaning solution, but your hair is plastered to your neck. Your clothes cling damply to your skin. Every muscle in your body aches with the dull, familiar throb of overuse.
Mirrors line the walls of the room, all the way around. Every angle of you is reflected back. Thereâs nowhere to look that isnât you. It feels like youâve been here for hoursâdays, yearsâpracticing the same choreography over and over.
Thereâs a man with you.
You donât see his face clearlyâit keeps blurring, slipping out of focusâbut you know exactly who he is. You recognize the weight of his presence. The room seems to rearrange itself around him.
When you crumple to your knees, he crouches in front of your exhausted body.
âYou love me, donât you?â His hand is heavy against your cheek. Every point of contact brands itself into your skinâthe warmth of his palm, the drag of his flesh against yours. His thumb rests on your bottom lip, pressing just enough to open you up. On his ring finger, metal, cool and unyielding, digs into your skin.
You nod, leaning into his touch without a second thought.
âThen trust me. Iâm protecting you.â
You open your eyes to meet his, only to find that youâre now in the passenger seat of a car. The leather smells like a familiar cologne, one that will cling to your clothes later. You know that much.
It's raining, and your hair is damp from running through it. Droplets hammer against the windshield, deafening in the quiet. Streetlights slide over your skin like stage lights, like interrogation lamps. Each one exposes you for a split second before plunging you back into shadow.
His voice cuts through you.
âDo you want to debut or not?â Like heâs explaining something obvious to a child.
You panic. âOf course I do! I justâŠâ Your voice sounds so small, so unlike you. âSometimes it feels likeâŠâ
âLike what?â He huffs harshly through his nose. âThis is how it works. Everyone pays something.â
The rain grows heavier. The sound swells until it becomes a roarâ
a poundingâ
a door slamming shut.
Youâre standing in a narrow hallway now, staring at a garish carpet. Itâs harder to breathe than usualâthe bottom half of your face is covered with a mask, but it doesnât filter out the cloying scent in the air.
You know this carpet, you realize. Youâre at a love motel. A love motel youâve frequented for longer than youâre proud of, always with the same person.
He swipes the keycard, and the door clicks open with a beep. Your bag slides off your shoulder. You toe off your shoes with trembling hands, pull your mask off as the door closes behind you.
âYouâre special, you know that?â he whispers, kissing your jaw. âI donât do this for just anyone.â
The words slide over you, wrap tightly, sink in. Special. Chosen. Lucky.
Your eyelids slip shut again, and when you open them, youâre in a recording booth. Itâs late. The backing track of your demo fills your ears.
Heâs behind the glass, watching like always. Smiling.
"You're gonna be a star," he says through the mic. "Everyone is going to love you, just like I do."
Suddenly, youâre ripped away. You're both in a stairwell, somewhere no one else will hear. Everything is moving so fast now, you can't keep up.
The fluorescent light above flickers, casting long, distorted shadows of your entwined bodies along the cement walls.
âItâs better this way,â he says, insistent. âI have a life. A family. You canât ask me to ruin that.â
You stare at him, hollowed out.
âBut you saidââ
âI said I love you.â He reaches for you. âAnd I do. But we have to be smart. Youâre going to be huge. You canât have scandals.â
Your stomach churns. You want to scream. You want to disappear.
Youâre in bed now. Not yours. A thin sheet barely covers your nakedness. Heâs filming you.
âTell me youâre mine,â he says, zooming in on your face.
âIâm yours.â
You're on stage again. Or, you were. A venue you've been waiting to get to your entire life. A darkened corner now, far away from the crowd. Hands on blue velvet.
"You did it, beautiful," he says, sliding a hand up your dress. "Are you going to thank me, hm?"
"Yes," you breathe, already searching for the heat of his mouth. You find it, and thenâ
White light sears the edges of your vision. A camera flash. Everything freezes: his lips parted just above yours, his hand splayed across your thigh, your body caught in the act of reaching.
Your eyes snap open.
â â â
Your first thought is that you feel sick.
The inside of your mouth feels gritty, which tells you that you skipped your nighttime routine entirely. If you didnât bother to brush your teeth, you definitely didnât touch any of the serums and masks youâre contractually obligated to apply before bed. On top of that, youâve got a migraine sent directly from hell. You overdid it last night, and youâre going to pay for it, whether your payment comes in the form of a gnarly zit orâŠ
Shit.
Your second thought makes your temples pound: Your manager is going to kill you.
You were already on thin ice as it was, but getting shitfaced at a public work event? Thatâs last year YN behavior. Behavior that you promised Seoyeon you had grown out of.
God, you hope you didnât do anything too bad last night. Maybe she won't find out how sloppy you got.
As you lie half-awake, eyes closed to drown out the light filtering in through your curtains, pictures of last night slowly begin to take shape behind your eyelids. They piece themselves together in fragments that get blurrier the further into the night you go.
You remember being swarmed by the company-sanctioned glam team at your apartment, and then being shoved into a car alone by Hyerin. You remember freezing in your dress while you took pictures for your socials outside. Mingling, networking, the usual.
Yoongi was there. You definitely remember that.
You still donât know where you stand with him, and thinking about it too hard right now will surely only make your migraine worse. The whole thing has been fucking with your head, but you canât really pin that on him. Itâs not his fault that you have no self-control. Plus, youâre kind of⊠civil now? Youâre at least 99% certain he isnât the reason you pickled your liver.
You play back the memory as best you can: Meeting his eyes across the room. Flirting at the bar. The split second of honesty that was enough to tear down your walls for the night. His filthy promises to bring you back to his place and take you apart, although that clearly didnât happenâyouâre in your own bed, still in the dress you wore last night. You donât know how you made it here in one piece, butâ
Oh, fuck.
Just like that, your third thought comes with a jolt that sends you flying up on your elbows, suddenly wide awake.
There is a very real possibility that Min Yoongi is in your apartment.
You sit all the way up, instantly regretting the movement as your vision swims. The room tilts on its axis, and you have to pause for a moment, clutching your temples while you breathe through the nausea. Once the wave passes, you gingerly swing your legs over the side of the bed, feet searching for the slippers you keep by your nightstand.
You don't bother to change out of last night's dress, despite how gross you feel. You just grab a robe off the back of your closet door, wrapping it tightly around yourself as you shuffle out of your bedroom.Â
Your feet carry you out into the living room, the physical symptoms of your hangover only causing you to stumble once in the hallway. As you round the corner, your suspicions are proven right.Â
Yoongi is, like you, still dressed in his clothes from last night, minus his blazer and shoes. He's in the middle of tidying your couch, hunched over slightly, but he stops folding the blanket in his hands at the sound of your slippered footsteps.
"Hey," he says quietly, straightening. "You're awake."
You hover in the doorway, unsure of what to say. âYou didnât have to do that,â you settle on, nodding toward the couch.
Yoongi glances down at the folded blanket, then shrugs. "Nah, I don't mind." He lays it neatly over the back of the couch and turns to face you fully, cocking his head as he gives you a once-over. "Slept okay?"
You shrug, crossing your arms to hold your robe in place. "Considering the circumstances," you mumble. "You could've gone home, you know. My couch sucks."
"I've slept in worse places, trust me."
"Still."
You shift your weight, unsure why you suddenly feel so self-conscious. Itâs not like he hasnât seen you worse than thisâcertainly less dressed than thisâbut something about the domesticity of it all makes your skin prickle. Him, folding blankets in your living room. You, wrapped in a bathrobe. It feels like a scene from someone elseâs life.
You may (allegedly) be in a better place with him now, largely thanks to the last twenty-four hours, but you're pretty sure sleepovers with no sex are probably against the unspoken rules of this arrangement.
Ah.
âLook," you start, "I know I kind of ruined our plans last night, but, uh. Iâm not really feeling it, soâŠâ
âDo you seriously think I was waiting around to fuck?â For a second, he looks genuinely hurt, and you're not quite sure what to do with that.
"Uh. Kinda?â
He exhales, scrubbing a hand over his face. "No, dollface," he says tiredly, copying your stance and crossing his arms over his chest. "I stayed because it seemed like you had a rough night, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.â
âOh," you say dumbly. "Really?"
"Really," he repeats tersely before softening again. âAre you alright?â
Guilt swirls in your gut, which is ridiculous. Ugh. You don't know how to navigate thisâYoongi being decent to you. Especially not when you're this hungover.
âIt's nothing I havenât dealt with before," you insist, waving a hand. "Iâll be fine, Yoongi.â
Luckily, he folds easily.
âOkay," he says. "You want me to go?â
Part of you feels bad, but you also know you don't have it in you to be pleasant for long. If nice is the name of the game you're playing with Yoongi now, it's better if he goes.
âNot to be rude, but yeah.â
Yoongi chuckles, reaching to grab his blazer off the couch. âWhen have you ever cared about being rude to me?â
That makes you crack a half-smile. âGood point.â
He shrugs his jacket on and steps closer. You get a whiff of his cologne, still clinging to his clothes from last night. It's faint, not overpowering in a way that'd make your migraine worse, and he just smells so fucking good. Musky and masculine and familiar to you now.
"I really don't give a fuck about the sex," he insists, holding your gaze. "Okay? You've gotta stop thinking the worst of me every time."
You huff, pressing your lips together to keep your smile from growing. "This 'us not being horrible to each other' thing is new. Cut me some slack."
"I know," he says, bringing a hand up to brush your hair out of your face and tuck it behind your ear. "We'll both keep trying, yeah?"
You hum, eyes fluttering shut at the contact.Â
God, his touch feels good. It's almost a shame you're shutting down the opportunity for more of it. You open your eyes again.Â
"Rain check on the sex?"
Yoongi laughs, surprised. "Yeah?"
You can't help but grin now, mirroring his own. You can see his gums and it's unreasonably charming.Â
"Last night is a little blurry, but I definitely remember what you said, Min Yoongi. You're not walking that one back."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he says, smirking now. "Rain check, then."
His eyes flick down to your lips. You can tell he's about to kiss you, and your hand comes up to cover your mouth self-consciously.
"I haven't brushed my teeth," you mumble, embarrassed.
"You think I got to? It's not like I have a toothbrush here." His fingers wrap gently around your wrist, pulling it away. "I don't give a fuck, dollface."
"That's really gross," you complain.
"Yeah, yeah," Yoongi murmurs, guiding your hand to the back of his neck as he leans in. He's so close now, you feel breathless. "M'gonna kiss you. Okay?"
You nod. "Okay."
It starts featherlight, the barest brush of his lips against yours. A touch, a taste, a question: Still okay? You donât pull away. Instead, your fingers slide from his neck into his hair, and in response, he deepens it.
His hand comes up to cradle the side of your face, thumb stroking a line just below your cheekbone. He parts his lips just enough to catch your bottom one, sucking on it gently, then soothing with his tongue. A soft, involuntary sound slips from your throat, and Yoongi swallows it eagerly with a satisfied hum. His tongue traces the seam of your lips, inquisitive, and you part for him easily, reeling from the lushness of it.
Youâd laugh if you werenât so dizzy, because morning breath or not, the kiss is good. Really good. If nothing else, between you and Yoongi, this works.
When he finally pulls back, itâs only by a few inches. His eyes flutter open, half-lidded as they settle on you.
âStill gross?â he murmurs, voice low and scratchy.
Youâre flushed to the tips of your ears. âYes,â you say, breathless. âVery.â
"Mm. But worth it?" he teases.
You roll your eyes, swatting gently at his chest. "Go home."
"Okay," he concedes, letting you go and stepping out of your space. You watch as he gathers the rest of his things and heads to the door. "I'll see you this week?"
"Wednesday, I think." Unless Seoyeon adds something else to your schedule, you'll be tagging along with Jeongguk while the band records again.
"See you Wednesday, then," he says, twisting the knob.
"See you," you say, and then heâs gone, the door clicking shut behind him.
â â â
Once Yoongi leaves, you decide to drag yourself back to your bedroom to take a much-needed shower. It feels good to scrub the bad parts of last night away, to give yourself the physical reset to go along with your mental one.
You step out, steam curling around you and fogging your mirror as your feet meet the fuzzy bath mat next to your sink.
You take extra care going through the line of your skin and hair care products today, taking your time with each step. By the time you're done and dressed in clean clothes, your bathroom sink is a mess, and you feel reborn. Even your migraine has subsided for the most part.
It's apparently the perfect time for it, too, because as soon as you walk back into your bedroom, you find your phone buzzing where it sits on your bed.
Seoyeon is calling. Shit.
You scramble to grab it, swipe to answer, and press your phone to your ear. "Hello?" you greet cautiously.
"I don't know what you did last night," Seoyeon starts, and your stomach plummets before she continues with, "but apparently it paid off."
"Huh?" you ask, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Jun loved you," she explains, and holy shit, she sounds ecstatic. "You got the fucking gig, YN-ah."
Jun loved you? You got the gig. You got the fucking gig with the coolest, grungiest perfume brand in Korea. Holy fucking SHIT. You haven't felt this excited about modeling in⊠well, ever.
"You're fucking with me," you breathe, clutching the phone with both hands.
"I'm not!" she insists, practically squealing with glee. After working with Seoyeon for so long, you know it takes a lot to get a reaction like this out of her. "Seriously, I don't know how you pulled it off, but great work. I'm so proud of you."
You nearly tear up at that. You love having Seoyeon as your manager. Despite what everyone at your company has said about you over the years, she's always been in your corner.
Working with BORNTOSTANDOUT is a huge opportunity, one she got you by pulling strings she probably shouldn't have. But it feels like a step in the right direction, and you're unbelievably grateful. Maybe you can move on from Innisfree and into something more niche. More you.
"Thank you," you say, trying not to sound too choked up.
"Don't thank me yet," she says fondly. "I'm about to send you your schedule for the month. You're about to be a very busy girl."
You blink. Uh, okay. You're confused again. "BORNTOSTANDOUT isn't going to take up that much of my time, are they?"
"No," she says. "The powers that be have blocked out a ton of your time, but they won't tell me why. You've got crazy bookings for the next several months, on top of your shit with Jun. I'm trying to figure out what it's for, butâŠ"
"But?" Seoyeon sighs, which makes you nervous all over again. That's never a good sound. "Seoyeon, tell me."
"Dongwook-ssi scheduled a meeting with you, me, and all of Burn The Stage and their team for Friday. That might have something to do with it."
Dongwook. You're going to be sick.
"What the fuck for?" you mutter, sitting on the edge of your bed to combat the nausea.
"I told you," she says softly, "nobody will tell me. I think they want to keep it quiet until the meeting. I was honestly hoping you might know. Did something happen with Jeongguk?"
"No," you say instantly. Jeongguk would've told you if something was up. "Seoyeon⊠will he be there?"
There's a pause on her end of the line.
Fuck.
"I think so, YN-ah."
"Right."
Your head is spinning. You've managed to avoid being in a room with him for years now. You don't know why that would suddenly change, or why the band is part of it at all. Something bad is going to happen; you can feel it.
"But I'll be there, too. Okay?"
Not okay. So not okay.
"YN-ah. Listen to me."
"I'm listening," you manage.
"You have no reason to panic, okay? Dongwook-ssi is the creative director, and despite your history, this could be a good thing. You know you're protected. There are lines he can't crossâ"
"Am I protected, Seoyeon?" you snap, laughing bitterly. You're not snapping at her, not really, but the idea that your company has done a fucking thing to protect you from anyone is laughable. "I haven't made music in years. I've been barred from it, in fact. I'm stuck in a contract doing a job that I hate, and he gets toâŠ"
"I'll protect you," she insists. "I will. In that room, I'll be your advocate."
You gnaw at your bottom lip, unconvinced. "I just don't know what Jeongguk and the band have to do with this."
"I know," Seoyeon says softly. "I know, and I'll try to find out. But in the meantime, you've got shit to do. So as much as I'd like to give you time to process this, there isn't any. And I need you functional."
Right. No rest for the wicked. Or the terminally slutty, apparently. "Okay."
Seoyeon sighs, worried. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Uh-huh."
"Take care of yourself until then. I'm serious. I will drive to your apartment and force you to, if necessary."
You snort despite yourself. "I'll try."
"You'll do it," she counters, firm. "Text me if you need any help."
"Okay," you sigh, closing your eyes for a moment. You still feel sick, but at least you have the rest of the night to get it out of your system. "I'll be fine."
"That's what I like to hear. See you tomorrow. No drinking."
"See you," you mumble, and then you hang up, ready to be done with the conversation.
You set the phone down beside you and stare at the floor, trying to make sense of everything. Your thoughts are spinning, looping, tripping over each other in the rush to process what this all means.
You shake your head. No point in spiraling yet. You have a few days. Not to prepare (you canât), but to brace yourself. To remind yourself that Seoyeon will be in the room. That youâre not the same person you were back then.
Still, you wonder what itâll be like. Being in the same space as Dongwook again.
It may have been years since you've seen him, but he visits you in your dreams all the time. Nightmares. You're not ready to be in a room with him, to have the wound you've worked so hard to heal picked at all over again.
The worst part is how little control you have. Thatâs what always gets you. Youâve spent so long feeling like a puppet in someone elseâs show. Just a pretty face, a name to attach to whatever concept your company is selling next. You thought, just for a second, that you'd reclaimed a sliver of agency with BORNTOSTANDOUT, but already it feels like the rugâs being pulled again. Like every time you try to do something for yourself, the universe goes out of its way to remind you that you're owned.
And the band. Jeongguk, Yoongi. Why in the world are they going to be there? Dongwook is the creative director for the musicians signed under your company, yeah, but Burn The Stage already has a label.
Is Dongwook trying to poach them? Impossible. You're all too familiar with his ego, but still, your company is tinycompared to theirs. There's nothing he could offer them that they don't already have. Surely he knows that.
And even if that is his goal, he wouldn't need you there for it. Unless⊠what, is he jealous? After all this time? He never tried to contact you when you were with Kihyun. No way. No, it can't be that.
So what the fuck is it? Why is this meeting happening?
You bury your face in your hands, trying to breathe.
Youâll figure it out. You have to.
But god, you wish someone would just tell you what youâre walking into on Friday.
â â â
You do your best to get through the week without spiraling over the meeting. It isn't easy, but you're managing to pull it off so far.
It helps that Seoyeon sticks by your side all day on Monday. You know she's probably just worried you'll slip back into old habits, but regardless, it works. You keep your focus entirely on brand deals and fittings and photoshoots, despite how boring you find it all. At least your new gig offers a light at the end of the tunnel, right?
By Wednesday, you're back in the studio with Jeongguk as planned.
When he meets you in the lobby, though, itâs clear that something is off. Jeongguk is one of those people who lights up whatever room heâs in, but today that light feels dimmed. His shoulders are tense beneath his jacket, posture tight instead loose with the easy confidence he usually exudes. He doesnât offer a smile, no playful banter. Not even a âhey, babeâ for show.Â
You follow him to the elevators, finding the courage to ask when the doors slip shut and offer some privacy.
âHey Guk,â you say. âYou okay?â
Heâs occupied with something on his phone, teeth worrying at his bottom lip. You nudge his arm with your elbow gently. âJeongguk?â
He blinks like heâs been pulled out of deep thought, finally glancing up. âOhâuh. Yeah. Iâm good,â he says, slipping his phone into his pocket.
"Are you sure?" you ask, unconvinced.Â
His eyes slide away from yours, fixing on the glowing numbers above the elevator doors. "I'm fine."
Before you can say anything else, the elevator stops on the studio floor. Jeongguk steps out immediately, his pace brisk enough to leave you to trail half a step behind him.
âReady?â he asks over his shoulder, and you decide to let it go for now.
In the studio, you make yourself useful, poking around for coffee, cleaning up abandoned water bottles, checking your phone for messages like it might suddenly reveal something new about Friday. But it doesnât.
Jeongguk barely looks at you as he sets up to record his vocals, sliding into his chair and pulling his headphones on with practiced ease. Heâs focusedâhyperfocused, evenâbut it feels more like avoidance. You watch him through the glass for a while, fingers tapping nervously against your thigh, wondering whatâs got him so wound up.
Part of you also wants to ask him about the meeting. You're sure he's heard about it, and even though he probably knows just as much as you do, it'd be nice to have someone to confide in. You're really feeling Seokjin's absence this week, but you'll be damned if you reach out to him after what he said.
Still, Seokjin is the only one who really knows what happened, down to the last detail. Without your best friend to turn to, you feel utterly alone.
Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if Jeongguk knew, too.
But you donât know how to bring it up. Not when heâs quiet and withdrawn like this. You don't know what's going on, if it has something to do with Yoongi and their continued stony silence, but regardless, it doesn't feel like a good time to burden him with your worries.
Speaking of YoongiâŠ
Watching him seems to be the only thing that settles the nausea in your stomach today. And you are watching him. Very intently, in fact. This time, though, itâs not because youâre thinking about choking on his dick.
Okay, maybe a little. It's a worthy distraction.
You donât know what it is about him today, but he just looks so⊠cute. A word you never thought youâd use to describe Min Yoongi, but here you are.
Maybe itâs the color palette heâs sportingâwhite tee, medium wash jeans with a matching jacket. Youâre morally opposed to denim-on-denim, but, like most things he wears, he makes it look effortlessly stylish. And his hair looks extra soft today, like he blow-dried it before leaving his apartment this morning. Long and begging to be touched. Or pulled.
You canât touch or pull it, of course. Youâre here as Jeonggukâs girlfriend, even if he's giving you the silent treatment for some reason. But maybe, if things were different, youâd run your fingers through the silky strands without a second thought. Maybe Yoongi would lean into it, eyes soft and lips curved in a disarming, fond smileâgod, what has gotten into you today?
Not Yoongi, thatâs for sure.
Maybe thatâs the problem, you think, as you watch him switch places with Jeongguk in the booth, already hooking his guitar up. He's so focused, and you can't help but fantasize about what that focus would feel like on you.
You know. You've been the object of his intense focus before, and you know exactly how good it feels. How mind-melting.
Having your mind melted doesn't sound half bad.
The session drifts into a new section of the song. Itâs starting to take shape, but Taehyung falters a few times with the bass line, frustration evident even through the glass as he pulls his headphones off with a huff.Â
You watch as Yoongi slips into the booth beside him, gentle where Taehyung is tense, pointing out a subtle change in finger placement. Heâs so calm, demonstrating the rhythm by tapping it out against the body of the bass. Taehyung nods, tries again. Still off.
To your surprise, Yoongi doesnât snap or get exasperated. He just reaches out, gently adjusting Taehyungâs grip, guiding his fingers into place. When Taehyung finally nails it, the look of quiet pride on Yoongiâs face makes your chest ache in an entirely inconvenient way.
Eventually, the studio starts to empty as everyone wraps up for the day. Jeongguk leaves first, distracted by a phone call, offering you a wave as he slips out. The others file out soon after, and you hesitate, lingering in the control room while Yoongi carefully unplugs his gear and stashes cables away.
âHey,â you say quietly, stepping into his line of sight.
He glances up, brows raised. âHey.â
You fiddle with the sleeves of your jacket. Youâre not usually nervous about this kind of thingânot with him, at leastâbut something about today has you twisted up inside. Still, you forge ahead.
âAre you busy tonight?â
Yoongi straightens, slinging his guitar strap over one shoulder. âNot particularly. Why?â
You meet his eyes. âCan I come over?â
His lips twitch. âWow,â he says, tone warm with amusement. âAsking first. What a concept.â
You shrug, trying for nonchalant, though your heart is thumping. âTrying something new.â
âHuh. I kinda liked it better when you just showed up and shoved your hand down my pants.â
You snort. âOkay, wellâremind me never to be polite again, then.â
âNo,â he says, finally smiling. âThis is good. Itâs nice, you asking. Gives me something to look forward to.â
âYeah?â
Yoongi steps closer, tilting his head. "Is this you cashing in your rain check?"
âMaybe,â you say, biting the inside of your cheek.
He hums, raking his eyes over you. âWell then, yeah,â he says. "I've still got those plans I mentioned. Gonna make good on âem, too.â
Fuck, you hope so.Â
âOkay. Iâll text you when Iâm on the way?â
âYeah,â Yoongi says, tongue flicking out for half a second to wet his lips. âSee you soon, dollface.â
A shiver skates down your spine. His gaze holds yours for a second longer before he finally looks away to finish packing up.Â
You follow him out of the studio room, down the short hallway that leads to the elevators until you finally part ways.
Your mind is still whirring with anticipation when you step into the main lobby, but your train of thought screeches to a halt when you hear your name.
âYN-ah!â
You turn just in time to see Jimin and Taehyung loitering by the front desk.
âHey,â you greet, startled but trying not to show it.Â
Youâre still a little flushed from your conversation with Yoongi, still thinking about his mouth on you, and youâre suddenly hyperaware of how obvious that might be on your face.
âPerfect timing,â Jimin says, looping his arm through yours. âWe were just about to grab lunch.â
Taehyung gives you a little wave. âCome with us,â he adds, smiling. âHyung left already, right?â
You glance back the way Yoongi wentâheâs already gone. Shit. You kind of wanted to get out of here fast, but now youâre trapped.
âIâuh. Just a quick lunch,â you say, trying to sound casual. âI have stuff later.â
âBusy girl,â Jimin teases, dragging you along anyway. âItâs just lunch. Come on.â
â â â
You shouldâve known that lunch with these two is never âjust lunch.â
At first, itâs fine. Light. Easy. The conversation circles around the album for a while. Jimin complains about how fast things are moving, how they've never had to put anything together this fast. Taehyung talks about how he wants to add a string section to a track, which makes Jimin roll his eyes.
âYouâre obsessed with cellos lately,â he says, and Taehyung beams, unbothered.
"That's because cellos are great. Yoongi-hyung is so wrong about it not fitting the vibe."
Jimin scoffs, clearly ready to move on before Taehyung gets going. âHowâs our Jeonggukie?â he asks you. âHeâs been so weird this week.â
âHas he?â you ask, pretending you didnât notice.Â
It probably isn't a good look for you, honestly. As his girlfriend, you should know what's going on with him, right? But you don't, and you wouldn't feel right just making something up.
âHeâs just⊠off,â he says. âAnd not in his usual âIâm hyper-focused on the musicâ way.â
âI noticed it too,â Taehyung adds. "Are you two fighting or something?"
You shake your head. âHeâs been a little⊠tense, I guess. But he hasnât said anything to me.â
âMaybe itâs about the meeting?â Jimin offers. âNo one will tell us what itâs about, and that never happens. We always get some kind of heads-up. If not from Sejin, at least from Namjoon or Yoongi.â
âItâs freaking me out,â Taehyung mutters around a bite. âWhy would all of us need to be there?" He points at you with his chopsticks. "And you too?â
You shrug, but your appetite has officially vanished.
âDo you think itâs about a collab?â Taehyung suggests. âLike a cross-promotional thing?â
God, thatâs the best-case scenario. But also highly unlikely. You doubt it.
âI really donât know,â you say. "Maybe."
"Well, we'll find out on Friday," Jimin says, shrugging. "Whatever it is, I hope it isn't boring. Sejin-ssi can go on and on."
Taehyung snorts, and you force a smile. "We'll see."
"SoooâŠ" Jimin says, which you're learning is never a good thing. "How are things with Yoongi-hyung?"
You feel your face start to flush, and you hate yourself for it. Especially in front of these two. You silently will it to go away before they can latch on.
"What do you mean?" you ask, stabbing your fork into your salad with probably more force than necessary.
"Just checking in," he sing-songs, catching his straw between plush lips to take a sip of his drink. Little shit. "I can never keep track of you two. It seemed like things were okay for a second, and then you were hopping on a plane. And then today, you kept staring at him. You can't blame me for being curious."
Christ. He held that one in for as long as he could, huh?
"Honestly, I haven't talked to him much lately," you lie. "It seems better for everyone that way." You stuff your mouth with lettuce just so you don't have to say anything else.
"Mm. Seems so," Jimin agrees, eyeing you. But then he lets it go, mercifully. He leans back in his chair and sighs. âAnyway. Speaking of Yoongi-hyung, can we talk about how he's driving me insane?â
âOh my god, yes. Thank you," Taehyung says. "I was waiting for someone else to say it. He's been super weird, too."
âHeâs behind," Jimin agrees.
âWhich is wild, because heâs never behind," Taehyung says.
âThatâs what Iâm saying,â Jimin continues. âUsually, by the time the company even starts talking timelines, Yoongi-hyung is already sitting on, like, fifteen demos.â
âHe had the first two albums basically done before we even got signed,â Taehyung adds. âLikeâfinished. Lyrics, arrangements, everything. We just had to tweak.â
Jimin chuckles under his breath. âWe were broke as fuck, sleeping four hours a night, and he would just emerge from his lair like, âoh, by the way, hereâs another song.ââ
âAnd another one,â Taehyung says fondly. âAnd another.â
You hum knowingly. That sounds like Yoongi you heard about from Jeongguk. âSo whatâs the hold-up now?â you ask.
Jimin exhales, rubbing at the back of his neck. âNo one knows. He wonât say. Plus, managementâs starting to hover, which only makes it worse. Every time someone asks how the albumâs coming along, I swear his eye twitches.â
"And he makes that face!" Taehyung wails. "Like a frog!"
Jimin presses his pouty lips into a flat line, imitating the face, and you can't help but laugh.
"Is it that bad?" you ask.Â
"He's never been like this before," Jimin answers. "But it's not like he'll talk to anyone about it. God forbid."
You feel a little guilty, but you had no idea the band was under so much pressure for this album. You can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with you, and all the drama you've been causing behind the scenes.
Taehyung slings an arm around Jiminâs shoulders and sighs theatrically. âWeâll survive. We always do.â
Jimin nods. âYeah. Yoongi-hyung will figure it out.â
You force a small smile, hoping it looks as convincing as it feels brittle. âYeah,â you echo. âHe will.â
The rest of lunch passes with a little more levity, but the undercurrent of tension never really leaves. When the bill comes, Jimin insists on covering it despite your protests, waving you off dismissively.
Taehyung stretches like a cat as you all stand to leave, letting out a satisfied groan. âI needed that. Thanks for coming out.â
âYeah,â you say. âMe too.â
Outside the restaurant, the skyâs gone overcast, and the wind picks up just enough to make you shiver. Jimin notices and shrugs out of his jacket without hesitation, draping it over your shoulders.
âIâm fine,â you start, but he cuts you off.
âDonât be annoying about it, YN-ah," he says. "You're taking care of our Jeonggukie, so we want to take care of you. Is that so bad?"
Ugh. You wish that didn't make you feel so guilty. You're grateful for Jimin and Taehyung, for the way they've accepted you into their weird little family so easily. You just wish it wasn't all built on a lie. Maybe then you'd feel like you deserve it.
âThanks,â you murmur.
âDonât mention it."
"I guess weâll see you Friday?" Taehyung says.
âYeah,â you nod. âSee you then."
He pulls you into a hug. âDonât be a stranger, okay?â
You nod into his shoulder. âOkay.â
When he pulls back, Jimin swoops in for a quick hug of his own, hands warm on your back. âTry not to overthink whatever the meetingâs about,â he says quietly. "I'm sure it's probably nothing."
"Yeah," you lie. "Probably."
They head off together, laughing about something before they even reach the end of the block. You pull Jimin's jacket tighter around your body and head in the opposite direction.
â â â
When you get to Yoongiâs apartment, it's immediately clear to you that his mood has soured since you last saw him.
Itâs not anything he saysâhe doesn't say anything, really, when he opens the doorâbut it's practically rolling off of him in waves.
You hesitate in the entryway, uncertain. You donât want to press if somethingâs wrong, but you also donât want him to force himself to fuck you just to be polite.
"You okay?" you ask, watching his back as he retreats into his kitchen.
"Yeah," he says, even though he sounds anything but. He opens a cabinet, pausing to look at you over his shoulder. "You want a drink?"
You hesitate. You probably shouldn't, considering how good you've been this week. ButâŠ
"Sure."
He nods and pulls down two glasses, then reaches beneath the counter.
"What are we having?" you ask, sliding onto one of the high-back bar stools at the island.
He resurfaces with a bottle in his hand, amber liquid sloshing inside as he opens it up. Whiskey it is.
He pours a healthy amount into both glasses before sliding one to you. You watch as he drains his drink in one go, instantly moving to refill it after.
"Shit," you huff, taking a much smaller sip of your own. "Bad day?"
"Something like that," he grunts.
Great. This is going nowhere.
"Do you want me to go, Yoongi?" you ask impatiently, setting your glass down. "You could've texted me if you changed your mind."
He looks up, making eye contact with you for the first time since he opened his door. He exhales tiredly through his nose, shaking his head.
"No," he says, staring back down at the liquid in his glass. "I'm still up for it, I swear. It's just been a weird few hours."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Talking about my bandmate with his girlfriend doesn't seem like the best idea," he says with a scoff, and you fight not to bristle instinctively at his word choice.
So this is about Jeongguk.Â
"I'm not his girlfriend," you sigh. "You called that from the beginning, remember?"
He looks up with a guilt-laden expression, but you raise a hand, disinterested in whatever apology is surely on the tip of his tongue. You've both done your fair share of bitching at each other, some earned and some not. You're done apologizing for it.
"Besides," you continue, "whether you like it or not, I'm probably one of the only people you can talk to about this. So talk, or I'm going home. I'm not fucking you if you're gonna be an asshole the whole time. If I wanted that, I'd piss you off myself."
He huffs in surprise. "Okay," he concedes. "I'll talk."
You cross your arms, waiting. Yoongi takes another pull from his drink, then sighs.
"It's not weird for Jeongguk to get mad at me for shit," he starts, "or to ice me out. For a little while, at least. Being in a band isn't easy. We've been through some fucked up shit together, and he doesn't always like the decisions I make, or the way I do things. That's normal.
"Trying to settle on a bassist was fucking awful. I thought he'd never speak to me again. Every single day, we met in Jimin's parents' stupid garage, auditioning this string of assholes who wouldn't know a bass line if Seo Taiji himself was right in front of them. And every time I sent someone home, Jeongguk insisted that I was being too harsh, you know? That my standards were too high. That I was being an asshole just to be an asshole."
You shift in your seat, picking your glass up to take a sip of your drink. It's weird, hearing Yoongi go on and on like this, especially about something so personal. But he clearly needs it, and honestly, it's nice to hear about someone else's problems for once. So you keep listening.
"And then Kim fucking Taehyung walks in. He was so weird, you know? Still is. That story we tell during interviews, that he was the first one we auditioned? He made that shit up. I don't know why." He laughs a little. "But he can play a fucking bass, so I don't give a shit. I just wanted the best."
He looks up then, meeting your eyes. "For Jeongguk," he continues. "All of this? The fame and the tours and the award shows, all the bullshit⊠It was his dream, not mine. I just wanted the best for him. That's still all I want."
Yikes.
"You didn't want to be in a band, too?" you ask.
"I don't know what I wanted to do," he admits, dropping his gaze again. He swirls the contents of his glass as he speaks. "I thought I wanted to do concert piano for a living. Even got through three and a half years of college for it, but I couldn't hack it in the end. I dropped out. Music was my dream, but I think doing it like this would've been last on my list."
That surprises you. Yoongi is such a natural on stage; it's hard to imagine him doing anything else. You envy him for it, honestly. That kind of presence can't be trained into someoneâit's built in from the start. The idea that someone could have that and be so indifferent to itâŠ
Your curiosity gets the better of you. "What would you be doing instead?"
He shrugs. "Something less public-facing, probably. Teaching kids? I don't know."
Huh. You try to picture it for a second. Yoongi, working at an elementary school or something, walking kids through piano scales and helping them tune their guitars. Playing nursery rhymes. instead of rock anthems. The whole idea is just so fucking unexpected, coming from him.
Catching the surprised look on your face, Yoongi snorts. "I'm good with kids," he insists.
"I believe you!" you say, unable to stop yourself from smiling.
âYou donât,â he says, still amused. âBut thatâs okay.â
When the laughter peters out, silence takes its place. Yoongi takes another drink, the edge of his irritation dulled now. He looks tired more than anything. Unmoored.
"But Jeongguk wanted to be in a band," you say, redirecting the conversation.
"Yeah." His lips flatten into a line as he gets his train of thought back. "He's never stayed mad at me for this long. He's such a good kid, but he can be so fucking stubborn sometimes, you know? And I don't know how to make things better if he won't talk to me."
You feel for him. You can't help it. You still don't know exactly what they've been fighting about this whole timeâalthough you have a good guessâbut you do know that whatever it is, you inadvertently caused the dam to break. You want to help. You never purposefully set out to tear apart their friendship.
"Yoongi, I think that's your problem right there," you offer softly. "Jeongguk isn't a kid. He's a man."
His eyes flick up to yours, and the look on his face breaks your heart a little. So much sadness, worn so openly.
âI can't help it. I justâŠâ His voice is low, and there's an edge of rawness to it. âIâve always felt responsible for him. I donât even know when it started. Itâs likeâif something goes wrong, I assume itâs my fault. That I didnât shield him well enough. Didnât make the right call.â
You reach across the counter, resting your hand lightly over his. His fingers twitch beneath yours.
âI get it,â you say. âYou love him. You want to protect him. It isn't a bad thing, Yoongi. I wish I'd had someone protecting me like that when I first started." You press your lips together, not wanting to keep heading down that line of thought. "But maybe what he needs right now isnât your protection. Maybe he needs your trust.â
Heâs quiet for a moment, staring down at your fingers, loosely tangled with his.
âYou just seem tired,â you add quietly. âAnd I think itâs because youâre not living your life for you.â
Yoongi hums. For a second, you wonder if you crossed a line, until he says softly, "I'm sure you wouldn't be shocked to know you aren't the first person to tell me all of that."
You smile sadly. "No," you agree. "That doesn't surprise me."
"Maybe I should listen, huh?"
"Maybe so."
Yoongi watches your hands for a moment longer before giving your fingers one last squeeze, pulling away to reach for his glass again. He sets it in the sink, then turns to you fully, leaning his weight against the counter.
âIâm sorry,â he mumbles. âFor being in such a shit mood.â
You shrug. âIâm a big girl,â you say. âI can handle a little baggage.â
"Still," he sighs. "That's not what you came here for." He rubs the back of his neck, scoffing to himself. "You came here to fuck. I promised you a good time, and this is⊠not that."
You tip your glass back, draining the last of the whiskey, and set it down with a small thunk on the counter.
âSo make it up to me,â you say.
His brows lift as he watches you round the island toward him. âYeah?â
You stop in front of him, toe to toe, and slide your hands up the front of his shirt, fingers splaying across the smooth skin beneath. You feel the beat of his heart, quickening under your palm.
âYeah,â you murmur, eyes on his. "If you're still up for it."
You wouldn't be upset if he's changed his mind, but something tells you he hasn't. Maybe it's the way he's looking at you, like he couldn't deny you anything even if he wanted to. It thrills you, knowing you have that kind of power over someone. You never have before.
âCome here,â he says, voice rough now. He presses a hand into the small of your back and draws you in, closing the space between your bodies. You go easily, letting yourself fit against him so he can kiss you.
You taste the whiskey on his tongue, smoky and sharp, as his tongue slides against yours. He groans softly when you suck on his bottom lip, and the sound goes straight to your core. His hands grip tighter at your hips, then slip around to cup your ass, squeezing hard enough to make you gasp. You feel a smirk tug at his lips before he pulls back just enough to speak.
âDollface," he rasps. "You wanna come to bed?"
You nod, already breathless. His hand finds yours, and he laces your fingers together as he leads you out of his kitchen, through his living room, and down the hallway.
His bedroom is dimly lit, the curtains drawn, the room quiet save for the city noise outside. His bed, just like last time, is perfectly made on one side. Too big for just one person.
Yoongi doesnât give you much time to dwell on it. Once the door clicks shut, he spins you to face him, kissing you so deeply your attention is effectively stolen.
His hands push beneath your shirt, palms skimming your skin. "Can I?" he murmurs, and you wordlessly raise your arms for him, allowing him to push the fabric up and over your head.
He tosses it aside and steps back just slightly, enough to let his gaze sweep over you. Thereâs something in his stare that feels heavy, and it pins you in place. It's not just lust, though thereâs plenty of that, but something else you can't decipher. You shift under the weight of it, unsure what to do with yourself.
âWhat?â you ask softly, suddenly self-conscious.
"Nothing," he says, shaking his head. âJust⊠youâre beautiful.â
The honesty in his tone catches you off guard. You glance away, embarrassed (as if you don't model for a living), but Yoongi steps forward again and reaches for the clasp of your bra. He makes quick work of it, sliding the straps off your shoulders and letting it drop.
He cups your breasts gently, thumbs teasing your nipples until your breath stutters. Encouraged, he ducks his head and licks a stripe over one. He sucks the peak into his mouth, skilled tongue swirling around it, and the feeling of his piercing against the sensitive bud makes your knees weak. You moan, fingers threading into his hair in a weak effort to gain a shred of balance.
Yoongi hums, clearly pleased with himself. He switches sides, lavishing your other breast with more attention. This time, he's less gentle. His teeth graze the tender skin, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp and tug at the silky strands between your fingers. His tongue follows, licking over where his teeth had been, soothing and stimulating in the same motion. He doesnât stop until both of your nipples are stiff and wet and aching.
Satisfied, he pulls back, tongue peeking out briefly to trace over his bottom lip. Your eyes track the movement hungrily.
âI ever tell you how much I like your tits?â he asks.
Your arms drop to your sides. âI think I got the message," you respond dryly, but the sound of your voice, shaky with arousal, dampens the effect you're going for.
"Mm." Hooking his index fingers into the belt loops at the front of your jeans, he guides you backwards toward the bed, following you step by step until the backs of your legs bump the edge of the mattress. He pushes lightly at your shoulders, and you lie back without protest, propped up on your elbows to watch as he settles between your legs.
He makes a show of it, slowly unbuttoning your jeans and tugging the zipper down one tooth at a time, eyes locked on yours. "You gonna let me eat this pussy, baby?"
Baby. That's new. Shit, you really shouldn't love it so much when he calls you that.
You lick your lips, shifting to help him slide the denim down. "You promised me you would, didn't you?" you tease, spreading your legs wide as soon as they're free. "Pretty sure I'm owed."
Yoongi chuckles darkly, glancing down at the dark, wet patch that's formed on the crotch of your panties. "Fuck, you're gonna get it," he growls, ducking his head. His teeth graze your hip and you shiver. "It's all I fucking think about."
"Yeah?" you pant, your eyes fluttering shut. His hair tickles your belly as he shifts lower to kiss and lick at your inner thighs, so close but so far. "Quit teasing, then, if you want it so bad."
"Wanna take my time," he murmurs, nosing at your mound but still not fucking doing anything. "That's what I said I'd do, right? At the party?"
You whine, sliding your fingers back into his hair, trying desperately to guide him where you want him. Need him. He doesn't budge. "You also said you'd make me cum over and over, and here I am, nowhere near an orgasm."
Yoongi laughs. "Yeah? You bored, brat?" he asks, catching the waistband of your panties between his teeth andâoh, fuck, is he taking them off like that?
He drags the fabric down slowly, his tongue darting out to taste your skin on the way. "I'd be having more fun," you retort breathlessly, watching as he carelessly discards your panties, "if you'd get on with it."
Yoongi ignores your complaint, spreading your pussy with his thumbs. You flush at the slick, obscene sound it makes.
"Goddamn," he breathes, more to himself than you. "Youâre so fucking wet."Â
Suddenly, he leans in andâwithout warningâspits directly on your pussy. It lands hot, mixing with everything already there, and you gasp loudly. He watches it drip down, pupils blown. "Look at this. All swollen for me."
You moan as he drags a single finger down your slit, collecting slick and spit, swirling it lazily over your clit. Itâs barely any pressure, but you're so sensitive that it still makes your thighs threaten to close. He holds them apart with firm hands.
"Donât get shy on me now," he teases, lips curving smugly against your inner thigh. "You were real fucking mouthy a second ago."
He ducks his head to flick his tongue lightly against your clit, teasing. You gasp and arch into him, and he lets you. Lets you grind a little against his mouth, lets you chase it just for a moment, before pulling back just enough to blow cool air over your slick skin. Your entire body shudders.
You can't fucking take it anymore.
"Yoongi, please," you whimper.
"Please, what?" he asks, voice rough as he kisses along your folds. "Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me how you want it."
"I want your mouth on me. I want your tongue inside me, orâ I just want to cum, so can you please fuckingâ"
That must be enough for him, because Yoongi doesn't wait for you to finish. He grabs your hips and drags you closer, burying his face between your legs.
"Oh my god," you hiss, flailing a little as he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks.
He hums against you and flattens his tongue, slow and firm, like heâs savoring you. His fingers dig into the softness of your inner thighs, keeping you still and spread, and then he starts to really move. Long licks interspersed with tighter, more focused pressure, tongue curling over your clit with determination.
Your back arches off the bed. "Oh, fuckâ"
"Say my name again,â he murmurs against you.
"Yoongi!" Itâs a sob, really, broken and high-pitched as your thighs tremble and your pussy gushes more and more. He eats it upâliterally and figurativelyâgroaning as you grind helplessly into his face, his nose bumping your clit between every hungry lick.
âShit, dollface,â he mutters, lips slick with your arousal. âYou taste so fucking good.â He nuzzles in deeper, sucks again, and then he's pressing a single finger into you.
As wet as you are, one finger quickly becomes two. He fucks them into you slowly at first, just stretching you open, and then his mouth is back on your clit, working in tandem with the way his fingers move.
You're so close, way too fast, but you can't help it. Itâs like he knows your body better than you do.
Knows what patterns to trace, when to suck, when to ease off. In response you're flailing, making pitiful, needy sounds that you canât hold back. His fingers find purchase on your G-spot, and you swear your vision goes white for a second.
âRight there,â you sob.
He redoubles his efforts with a growl against your cunt, and it vibrates through you. The pressure builds and builds and builds, until the wave finally crests.
You come hard. It crashes through you, pleasure pulsing out in waves that make your whole body seize up. You cry out, gasping his name as your pussy clenches around his fingers. He works you through it, mouth never leaving you, fingers thrusting slower now, deeper, helping you ride it out until youâre twitching and whimpering from overstimulation.
Only then does he finally ease off.
His lips and chin are glistening when he sits back on his heels, using his clean hand to rub soothingly up and down your thigh. "Okay?"
You stare at him, dazed. "What the fuck."
Yoongi snickers, wiping his hand carelessly on his jeans. "You act like you didn't know I was good."
God, the ego on this fucking guy.
"Justâ" You sit up, tugging harshly at the hem of his shirt. "Shut up. I hate you. Come fuck me."
You're so focused on getting his clothes off that you barely register his amused huff. Obligingly, he reaches between his shoulder blades to pull his shirt over his head. Once it's out of the way, his hair is left all ruffled, and he's flushed from his ears all the way down to his chest. It's annoyingly endearing.
"Pants," you mumble, throwing your arm over your eyes. You can't deal with looking at him right now, not like this.
"Yeah, yeah."
The bed shifts as he presumably moves to stand, and you hear the clink of his belt being undone, followed by the scratch of a zipper and the rustling of denim. You shift your arm the slightest bit, peeking out from under it to take in the sight of him.
Heâs gorgeous. You knew that, but unfairly so. The broadness of his shoulders, the strength of his arms, all that pale, smooth skin on display. Heâs lean, defined in an understated wayânot showy but solid. His cock hangs heavy between his legs, flushed and hard and leaking at the tip, and you swear your mouth waters at the sight.
You don't know why you can't stop staring. It's silly. You've fucked each other in every sense of the word. Youâve even seen him naked like this beforeâjust the once, in his shower, but still. Why arenât you used to it yet?
The tension breaks when he scratches the back of his neck and gives you a crooked grin, one thatâs too sheepish to be cocky. "So, uh," he starts wryly, "we should probably use a condom this time, huh?"
Your brows lift, because huh? Where'd that come from? You let your arm drop fully and blink at him. "What?"
"I didnât have one the first time," he mutters. "If I did, I wouldâve⊠I wasnât trying to be a total asshole. We were justâfuck, we were pissed off, and then we were fucking, andâit just happened kinda fast, you know?"
Fuck, he's being so cute. Why do you find this so cute?
You sit up and reach for him, cupping his jaw to cut him off. "Itâs okay," you assure him softly. "I have an IUD. Youâre good."
"Are you sure?"
"I mean⊠you're clean, right?"
Yoongi huffs. "Yeah, I'm clean."
"Okay, me too." You shrug. "We probably should've talked about this sooner, you're right, but⊠I'm good if you're good."
His eyes search yours for a second, his fingers twitching like he wants to touch you but doesnât quite know where to start. And then he leans in, slow this time, just a gentle press of his lips to yours.
Itâs almost sweet. A little tentative, the way his mouth moves against yours. You curl your arms around his neck, pulling him down with you, both of you sinking back into the pillows.
He hums and leans in, slotting himself between your legs. His cock brushes your inner thigh, leaving a streak of precome in its wake, but neither of you rushes it. He kisses you again instead, slow and deep and good, and your hands wander over his back, his shoulders, his chest. Every part of him is warm and solid and real.
When the kiss breaks, you sigh into his mouth. "I like it when youâre like this."
"Like what?" he murmurs, nuzzling along your jaw, lips trailing toward your neck.
"Not talking."
He huffs against your skin. "Bitch." But thereâs no bite to it. Just fondness.
Yoongiâs laugh fades into a soft groan as you shift beneath him, your thighs opening wider to cradle his hips. "Yoongi," you whine, barely a whisper.
"Yeah, baby," he breathes, "I got you."
One hand braces beside your head, the other guides his cock. You gasp as the head slips past your folds, thick and hot and nudging at where youâre soaked and still soft from before.
âFuck,â he groans when he starts to push in slowly, the stretch enough to steal your breath even though your body welcomes him easily. You clutch at him, nails pressing into his back as he sinks all the way in.
You canât stop the moan that leaves your throat. The full-body shiver.
Yoongi bottoms out with a quiet, punched-out exhale, forehead dropping to yours. You can feel how hard heâs trying to stay still, how his arms tremble from restraint. His hips are flush to yours, pelvis pressed against your clit, and you feel impossibly full.
And then he movesânot pulling out, not thrusting in, but grinding. He rolls his hips in maddening little circles, dragging the base of his cock against your walls while his pelvis nudges your clit just right. Your arms tighten around him, hips rocking up instinctively.
His eyes flutter open, dark and heavy-lidded, and he watches your face closely as he does it again. Another perfect grind, his cock pressed so deep inside you it feels like youâre going to split open around him.
âCan feel you squeezing me,â he murmurs, lips brushing yours.
Words fail you, so you just moan in response, head tipping back into the pillows. You've never felt anything like this before.Â
He kisses you again, panting into your mouth, his tongue sweeping in and tangling sloppily with yours. Thereâs no space between you like this. Your body is pressed against his all the way down, sweat slicking your skin as his weight presses you into the bed. Every nerve ending is lit up, hypersensitive from your last orgasm, but somehow still desperate for more.
Suddenly, Yoongiâs hands find yours, fingers lacing together as he pins them beside your head.
âC'mon,â he pants.
You nod, breath caught in your throat. All you can do is stare up at him, mouth parted, gasping with every deep grind of his hips.
âIâm gonna cum,â you gasp. âIâfuckâI canâtââ
It starts in your core, then erupts outward. Your whole body locks up for half a second before it shatters, legs trembling, back arching, vision going white behind your eyes.
You cry out, a high, broken sob of a sound, Yoongiâs name tangled in your moan as your cunt clamps down around him, spasming uncontrollably. You feel it everywhere: your toes curling, thighs shaking, lungs burning as your hips lift high, trying to take him even deeper.
Yoongi groans loudly into your neck, holding you tighter, fucking you through it with those deep, grinding rolls, riding the wave with you. "Fuck, thatâs it, dollface, just like that," he moans. "God, youâre so fucking sweet."
It keeps going, cresting again, and Yoongi doesnât stop. Youâre floating. Thrashing. Tears prick your eyes from the sheer intensity of it.
Before you can even come down, the controlled rhythm breaks. Yoongi finally lets himself fuck you in earnest, withdrawing just enough to thrust back in with force that punches a breath from your lungs.Â
You barely have time to adjust to the change before he untangles his fingers from yours and grabs the backs of your thighs. He pushes them up, stretching your muscles until your knees are bent near your shoulders. The position forces you open impossibly wide, completely at his mercy.
âShit!â you cry. âYoongiââ
âI know,â he murmurs, eyes locked on where his cock disappears into your soaked cunt, brow furrowed in concentration. âI know, baby.â
Each thrust now is frantic and overwhelming, deep enough to make you feel it in your stomach. Your breath stutters, mouth falling open around the helpless sounds he pulls from you. You canât stop clenching around him, your body still twitching from your orgasm, so tight he groans like itâs killing him.
Your fingers scrabble against the sheets before finding his forearm, digging in, holding on. You feel the cord of muscle beneath his skin, tense and trembling as he drives into you. He shifts, and the arm you're not gripping curls beneath your lower back to lift your hips higher, angling you just so, and the next thrust makes you sob.
"Youâre sucking me in so tight," he grits out, breath hot against your cheek. "C'mon, I know you can cum again."
Again?
You're not even sure if your body is through with the last one, but surely enough, another wave crashes over you before the last has even fully ebbed. It blurs together, cresting and breaking, and you canât tell where one orgasm ends and the next begins.
âFucking god, yes,â he groans, nearly snarling the words. He slams into you once, twice more, then pulls out fast, fisting his cock just in time. The first hot spurt hits your stomach, then another, thick ropes painting your skin as he shudders through it.
Holy shit. What the fuck just happened?
After a while, he climbs off the bed. You watch him move, watch the way his muscles shift beneath his skin, the way his brows knit together as he cleans himself off and pulls a pair of underwear from his dresser.
âYou okay?â he asks finally, walking back over to you with a box of tissues. He dabs gently at your stomach, cleaning you diligently.
You nod, still catching your breath. âYeah,â you say, and your voice is hoarse, spent from moaning. âJesus, Yoongi. Iâm more than okay.â
Once you're clean, he tosses the tissue into a wastebasket. âGood.â
You blink at the ceiling. âI think you melted my brain,â you say. Exactly what you wanted.
Yoongi chuckles quietly and lifts himself up to lie beside you, one arm tucking under his head while the other snakes across your stomach, fingers tracing mindless shapes into your skin.
You shift slightly to rest your head on his shoulder, letting your cheek press into his damp skin. âThat was crazy."
He hums. âYeah.â
You feel like you should get up. Take a shower. Go home. But you donât move. Neither of you does.
Yoongi speaks first. âSorry again. For earlier.â
You glance up at him. âIt's fine."
"Thanks for listening to that shit. You didn't have to."
Ha. You think back to Sunday and Yoongi folding the stupid blankets on your couch. How he stayed to make sure you were okay. You both seem to be doing a lot of things you technically don't have to do for each other.
"I'm surprised we stillâŠ" Fucked? That doesn't feel like the right word for what that was.
He turns his head to look at you. âNo, I needed this,â he admits. Heâs quiet for a moment, before adding, âI needed you.â
Your breath catches a little at that.
This is the closest either of you has come to saying anything that sounds remotely like a feeling.
âThen Iâm glad I came.â
Yoongi hums again, the sound low and content.
He shifts onto his side and reaches for you, coaxing you into the circle of his arms. You settle there easily, your exhausted body curling into his warmth, one leg slung over his hip, your cheek pillowed on his chest. He pulls the duvet up over both of you.
For a while, you just lie there, eyes fluttering shut, your body melting into the mattress.Â
âYou falling asleep on me?â he murmurs eventually, voice rough but amused.
âMmm⊠maybe.â
Yoongi huffs a quiet laugh. âGo ahead, then.â
Youâre already drifting, so you just let yourself rest in the warmth of him.
â â â
The next morning, you wake to the sound of strings vibrating under practiced fingers. For a moment, youâre disorientedâwrapped in unfamiliar sheets, in a bed much bigger than your own. But the ache between your legs is a helpful reminder of where you spent last night, and who with.Â
The other side of the bed is empty, the comforter rumpled where Yoongi must have carefully slipped out earlier. You stretch lazily, muscles pleasantly sore, toes brushing cool sheets as you roll onto your back. For a few seconds, you just lie there, staring up at the ceiling and letting yourself savor the quiet domesticity of the moment. The kind that feels borrowed and unfamiliar to you.
The music finds you again, clearer now, and you sit up, rubbing your eyes and blinking against the pale morning light that spills through the window. You shuffle out of bed, tugging one of Yoongiâs shirts over your head, and follow the sound.
The hallway floor is cold beneath your feet, and you canât help but notice how different Yoongiâs apartment feels in the light of morning. There are frames youâve never noticed before lining the walls of the hallway. Pictures of the band, friends youâve never met before.Â
You stop for a moment in front of a photo of a young Yoongi with his parents. Or, you assume itâs his parents, only because the resemblance is striking. It looks like it was taken on a family vacation. His momâs wearing sunglasses and a bucket hat, his dadâs carrying a massive ice cream cone, and Yoongiâs in the middle, smiling so wide you can see his gums.
Youâre oddly touched by the sight of a younger Yoongi. He looks so bright, so soft, so unlike the man you know now. A happier version of him preserved in time. You wonder if the pictureâs still there because it brings him comfort.
You tear your eyes away before you can overthink it too much, padding down the hall toward the sound of the guitar.
When you finally find Yoongi, heâs on the couch in the living room, hunched over as he plays. Heâs shirtless, wearing only a pair of sweatpants. A pair of glasses youâve never seen before sits perched on his nose, and his brow slightly furrowed in concentration as he picks out the same sequence of notes, over and over again. A notebook is open on the coffee table in front of him, messy handwriting scrawled across the pages.
You linger in the doorway, watching.
He strums the same four chords again, pauses, then hums something under his breath. A melody. Then he stops, frowns, and jots something down in the notebook. His pen scratches across the paper for a moment before he sets it aside and tries again.
Itâs startlingly similar to that day on Jeju, when Jeongguk guilted you into making peace. When Yoongi sang those horrible lyrics to your face, the ones he wrote with you in mind. When you were terrified that he somehow knew aboutâŠ
But he didnât. And although the scene set in front of you is similar to that day, itâs also so, so different. Youâre not terrified this time. You donât feel like youâre walking into some kind of trap. You donât dread what will happen next when he realizes youâre there.Â
Crazy, how quickly things have changed.
You knock gently on the doorframe, not wanting to startle him. Yoongi looks up when he hears it, and the crease between his brows immediately smooths out.Â
âHey,â he says, voice still rough with sleep.
âHey,â you murmur back, padding over to sink onto the couch beside him. âHow longâve you been up?â
He shrugs. âNot long. Just had something stuck in my head.â
You glance down at the notebook. âNew song?â
âMaybe,â he says, reaching to close it before you can read anything heâs written. Hm. Some things donât change, you guess. âJust messing around.â
âHow many do you have left to write for the album?âÂ
Yoongi sighs, rolling his neck. âTwo.â
âThatâs not too bad,â you offer, hugging your knees to your chest.
âIn theory.â
âCome on,â you tease, tilting your head at him. âArenât you, like, known for cranking out award-winning albums like itâs nothing?â
He huffs through his nose, lips pressing into a line. âThatâs what they say,â he mutters. âIâm a little off my game as of late.â
Right. You shouldnât be surprised by that, given your conversation last night. Youâre sure itâs hard to write a song thatâs meant to be sung by your best friend who isnât speaking to you.
Well, youâre a little rusty, butâŠ
â...If youâre stuck, I might be able to help?â
Yoongi stiffens the instant you say it, but thankfully, he doesnât immediately shut you down. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean,â you say, glancing at his notebook pointedly, then back at him, âsometimes a second pair of eyes can be helpful.â You snort at the look on his face, adding, âif youâre capable of not being a total control freak about it, that is.â
âItâs not that. I mean, not completely,â Yoongi says, shifting uncomfortably. âI just⊠I donât know. Itâs kindaâŠâ
Holy shit, is he embarrassed? You try not to look too thrilled about it.
âYoongi,â you say, barely managing to suppress the laughter thatâs threatening to break free. âItâs not like my opinion matters at all. Are you worried Iâm going to judge your songwriting skills or something? Mr. Renowned Lyricist?â
Yoongi groans, and you note with complete delight that the tips of his ears are getting pink. âAre you gonna let it go if I say no?â
âProbably not.â
âYouâre awful,â he complains, grabbing his notebook and waving it in front of your face. âFine. Knock yourself out.â
You take the notebook carefully, resting it across your thighs as you glance over the lyrics.
The handwriting is slanted and messy, some words underlined, others scratched out entirely. There isnât a single bit of empty space left on the page. The song is clearly unfinished, but from what you can make out, none of it is bad by any means.
And when you say that you need me tonightÂ
I can't keep my feelings in disguiseÂ
The white part of my eyeballs illuminateÂ
And I'll wait for you as if I'm waiting for a storm to stopÂ
I've heard them talking 'bout how I'm gonna put you offÂ
Tell me, how can I put you off when you're a matter of urgencyÂ
I've got a million things that I need to do but they're all secondary
God, heâs good. You feel bad that his fight with Jeongguk is clearly producing such fucking sad songs from him, but still. Heâs every bit the amazing lyricist youâve always known him to be.
You lift your head, fighting the urge to roll your eyes at him. âIâm not seeing the problem here. These are great.â
Yoongi keeps his gaze fixed on his guitar and shrugs. âI donât know. I donât think Sejin will like it.â
âWhy not?â you ask, baffled by the idea.
âIt doesnât really fit with the rest of the songs, I guess.â
You hum, glancing back down at the notebook to read the guitar tabs heâs scrawled out beneath the words. âIâd have to hear it to make a judgement on that.â
Yoongi laughs suddenly, snatching the notebook from your hands and tossing it back onto the coffee table. âAbsolutely not,â he says firmly.
You balk at him. âWhy? Yoongi, you act like your songs arenât listened to by literally millions of people.â
âYeah, thatâs when theyâre finished,â he replies, gingerly setting his guitar back onto its stand, âwhich this one is not.â
Why the fuck is he being so testy about it? Didnât he spill his guts to you about Jeongguk just last night?
âFine,â you say, raising your hands in surrender. âWhatever. If you donât wanna play it for me, you donât have to. Iâm just saying itâs good.â
Yoongi sighs, running his fingers through his hair. âIâm sorry, okay?â he says, finally making eye contact with you. âIâm not trying to be a dick about it. Iâm just⊠weird about people hearing my shit when itâs not ready.â
âI get it.â You nudge his shoulder with yours, trying to lighten the mood. âControl freak.â
That, at least, earns you a snort of amusement. âGuilty.â
âWe can talk about something else,â you offer. âUnless you want me to go? I donât wanna distract you.â
âNo,â Yoongi says instantly. âYou can stay. You donât have anything today?â
You shake your head. âI have a fitting later, but other than that, no. Itâs a light day. I think my manager is giving me a buffer before the meeting tomorrow.â
He turns to you with recognition in his eyes. âOh, right. Do you have any idea what the hell thatâs about?â
âNo,â you say, trying to ignore the pang of nausea in your stomach. âI was hoping you did, honestly.â
âI donât,â he says apologetically.
You shift on the couch, searching your brain for some kind of way to shift the topic to anything else. You arenât used to just hanging out with Yoongi like this. Luckily, he breaks the silence for you.
âLook, by the way, I really am sorry for reacting like that,â he says. âYour opinion does matter to me. The song you wrote for your debutâŠâ He trails off, shaking his head. âBelieve me, Iâm not questioning your skills.â
You offer him a small smile. âItâs okay. Really.â
âJust making sure.â
You lean back against the couch, watching the way his fingers absentmindedly tap against his knee. Itâs strange, you think, how natural this feels. How different it is from what you were so used toâsniping comments, sharp words, the constant tension that felt like it defined your relationship with him.
You spent so long hating Min Yoongi. Or at least, telling yourself you did. Convincing yourself that the irritation, the anger, the obsession with him was anything but something more complicated. Sitting here now, calm and quiet, it throws you off.
âItâs so weird, us getting along like this,â you say, laughing awkwardly. âLike⊠I could not have envisioned this happening, based on the night we met. You were such a dick. I donât think Iâve ever hated somebody so quickly.â
Yoongiâs mouth curves into a grimace. âYeah,â he says quietly. âThat night was⊠something.â
Itâs the response you were expecting, but the look on his face throws you off. It isnât guilt. Itâs more like⊠heâs holding onto a secret youâre not privy to yet.Â
With everything going on, thatâs the last thing you need.
âWhat?â you ask, nudging him.
âNothing, justâŠâ He meets your eyes, tilting his head at you. âThe last night of the tour wasnât the first time we met.â
Huh??
âWhat are you talking about?â
âWe met at your debut show,â Yoongi says, causing your brow to furrow. You remember him mentioning that he was there, but he didnât say you met.Â
âI donât blame you for not remembering,â he continues. âI kinda figured you didnât. It was years ago, not to mention it was your fucking debut. But⊠we definitely did.â
God, that night is so fuzzy. Yoongi is right, it was years ago, but more than that⊠You just had a lot going on.Â
âWe were barely signed to the label. In your eyes, I was probably a nobody. Plus, I looked really different back then. Skinnier. My hair was shorter and, like, mint green. Iâm sure you met a lot of people that night, and I probably was just another idol in a sea of idols.â
âAnd⊠we talked?â you ask.
âUh⊠Yeah. We talked for a bit.â
âWhat about?â
Yoongi shifts, suddenly uncomfortable. âItâs been a long time,â he mumbles. âI donât know. I congratulated you on your debut, complimented your voice. Probably tried to suggest some kind of collaboration. I mean, I wouldâve been an idiot not to.â
You can tell heâs leaving something out, and it sets you on edge. âWhat else?â you needle.
Yoongi sighs. âI mean, I flirted with you,â he admits. âI thought you were hot. Does that really surprise you?â
It does, actually. You were a wreck back then. Not to mention, it wasnât your best night.
âDid I flirt back?â
âI thought you were,â he says, shrugging. âI donât know. We didnât get to talk for that long. You got pulled away by someone from your company, andâŠâÂ
He looks embarrassed, so you push further. âWhat?â
âWhen I ran into you later, you kinda blew me off. So I just assumed you werenât interested. In any of it.â
Oh.
Oh, fuck. That mustâve been afterâŠ
Noticing the expression on your face, Yoongi nudges you. âWhat is it, dollface?â
You shake your head. âNothing, justâŠâ A sad smile twitches at your lips. âI just wish weâd met any other night.â
Yoongi watches you for a moment, like heâs weighing something, then leans back against the couch beside you, eyes on the ceiling.
âI always wondered what wouldâve happened if things had gone different that night,â he finally admits. âIf you hadnât walked away. If weâd worked together. Or even just stayed in touch.â
You glance over at him, unsure what to say.
âI think I would've messed it up,â you settle on, voice soft. âI wasnât really capable of making connections that didnât feel⊠transactional.â
Yoongi turns his head to look at you. âYeah,â he says, but not unkindly. âI get that.â
âI was really lost back then. So if I came off cold or rude, it wasnât about you. I just didnât have room in my head for much else.â
Yoongi hums.
âStill,â you add. âIâm sorry.â
He shakes his head. âDonât be. We found our way here anyway, didnât we?â
That makes you smile. Your chest tightens a little, too, at the implication of it. Fuck, what are you doing?
You shift to lean your head on his shoulder, and he lets you, curling his arm around your waist to tug you closer.
âYou can stay a little longer if you want,â he says. âIâll make breakfast. Or something like it.â
You hum in response. âOnly if thereâs coffee.â
âThereâs always coffee,â Yoongi says, pressing a startlingly intimate kiss to the side of your head. âIâm not a monster.â
â â â
You leave Yoongiâs apartment late that morning after breakfast, rushing to work in your clothes from last night.
The fitting that follows goes about as well as you expectâstandard, annoying, impersonal. An hour of being poked and prodded while Hyerin clucks at the shape of your hips and the drape of the fabric. You zone out through most of it, thinking about the Yoongi, and Jeongguk, and the meeting thatâs only hours away.
Afterward, you stop for something warm and greasy on the way home. Comfort food.
Once youâre back in the quiet of your apartment, you shower, make tea, and pull out your weighted blanket like it could do anything to flatten the anxiety clawing at your chest.
The knock at your door comes well past midnight.
At first, you think you imagined it. You're halfway between sleep and consciousness, cocooned under a weighted blanket with a mug of sleepytime tea going cold on your nightstand.Â
Youâve just barely managed to shut your brain offâsomething that took effort, considering the meeting tomorrow. But then it comes again, louder this time.
You sit up, frowning. Thereâs only one person with the balls to show up at your apartment unannounced this late, and you just saw him a few hours ago. Thereâs no way itâs Yoongi, right?
You pull your robe tightly around your body, pad barefoot through your dark apartment, and peer through the peephole.
Is that�
âWhat the fuck, Jeongguk,â you mutter to yourself, reaching to unlock the door.
He looks like hell. When you finally get the door open, youâre greeted by the overwhelming scent of soju and cologne. Heâs swaying slightly on his feet, eyes bloodshot and cheeks flushed.
âGuk?â Your voice is cautious. âWhat are you doing here?â
âSheââ Jeongguk starts, then breaks off with a harsh breath. âShe fucking left me, YN-ah. Packed a bag and everything. I donât even know if sheâs coming back.â
Oh.Â
Oh, shit.
âCome in,â you say, opening the door wider.
Jeongguk stumbles past you and into your apartment. He drops onto your couch, and you watch as he buries his face in his hands, exhaling hard. You stay quiet for a moment, hovering near the door, unsure of what to say.
âI didnât know where else to go,â he says, voice muffled. âI just⊠I donât want to be alone. Please.â
You finally walk over and sit across from him, resting your arms on your knees. âIâm sorry,â you say softly. âI know you love her.â
âYeah,â he mumbles. âYeah, I do.â
"Then it'll all work out, right?" you offer, unsure of how else to comfort him. "If you love her, you can work past a stupid fight."
Jeongguk hums bitterly, lifting his head to look at you.
âI keep thinking about that night,â he murmurs. âThe afterparty, when we met. Remember?â
You pull your arms away gently. âGuk, what does that have to do withâ"
âDo you ever wonder what things would be like if weâd just⊠gotten together?â he asks, and itâs so unlike him that it knocks the breath from your lungs.
You recoil. âAre you serious right now?â
âThink about it!â he says. Slurs, really. âMaybe you never wouldâve dated Kihyun, and I wouldnât be⊠Maybe weâd still be together. It couldâve saved us both so much hurt, you know?â
God, what is he saying? And why now, of all times? You can't deal with this, not with the meeting tomorrow, and Yoongi,andâ
âStop.â
âShe always gets jealous about you,â Jeongguk continues. âAlways thinks thereâs something more going on, and I always deny itâbecause there isnât, right? Thereâs not.â
âThereâs not,â you say tightly. Of course there's not!Â
âBut what if there had been?â he asks, eyes glittering. âWeâve always had this chemistry, havenât we? Youâre single. Iâmââ
âYouâre drunk,â you snap. âAnd grieving. And completely out of line. I mean, what the fuck are you doing, Jeongguk? Do you hear yourself?â
Jeongguk flinches like youâve slapped him. You take a breath, your voice quieter now, but still firm. âYou set this up, remember? It was your idea. Because she couldnât handle the pressure, and I could. Because you love her. And I agreed, because I care about you. But you never wanted me. Not like that.â
His shoulders sag, shame settling over him like a weight. Good, you think, because the Jeongguk thatâs in front of you right now? You donât recognize this guy.
âA few months ago,â you continue, âas shitty as it may be, I probably wouldâve said yes. No matter who it hurt. I was lonely. I wanted something that felt like affection.â
He looks at you then, eyes wide and glistening.
âBut I canât do that anymore. Iâm not that person now. And you donât get to use me as some kind of escape hatch when things go bad with her.â
Jeongguk doesnât say anything right away. His fingers drag through his hair as he leans forward, elbows on his knees, head hanging low. You can practically feel the shame radiating off of him in waves.
âI know,â he finally murmurs. âFuck, I know. I wasnât thinking.â
âNo,â you agree, voice low. âYou werenât.â
âI justââ He lifts his head, his expression lost, a little boy caught in the wreckage of a life too big for him. âI think sheâs really done this time.â
âYou should go home,â you say, gentler now. âTry to talk to her in the morning. Let things cool off.â
âYeah,â he whispers. âMaybe.â
You take a much-needed breath. You can't go into that meeting tomorrow with this hanging over your head. You decide, right at that moment, that you need to make a decision. One you've been putting off for way too long now.
âI think we need to end this.â
Jeongguk looks up at you sharply.
âThe fake dating,â you clarify. âThe arrangement. It's run its course.â
He leans back against your couch, letting his head fall against the cushion behind him. His eyes close, and he exhales slowly through his nose.
âIâve been thinking the same thing," he mumbles.
You nod once, staring down at your hands in your lap. âIt was never meant to last this long.â
âIt wasnât supposed to be like this, either,â he says, voice quiet. âI thought it would be easy, but ever since we started, everythingâs been so fucked up.â
âI didnât mind,â you add, and you mean it, for the most part. âI wanted to help.â
âI know,â he says, turning his head to look at you. âAnd Iâll never stop being grateful for that. You took so much heat for me. So much hate.â
âIâve had worse.â
âBut you didnât deserve it. None of it. And I let it go on too long.â
You shift, folding one leg beneath you on the couch. âWeâll figure it out. The company meeting tomorrow is probably the best place to announce it anyway. Everyoneâs gonna be there. They can help craft the story so they can put out the right statements. Control the fallout.â
âRight,â he says, rubbing his eyes. âDamage control.â
âI donât want to lie anymore, Jeongguk.â
âIâm sorry,â he says again. âFor all of it.â
You exhale. âItâs okay.â
âItâs really not.â
âNo,â you agree. âBut we can stop here. We can walk away before it gets worse.â
Jeongguk closes his eyes, nods once. âOkay.â
Neither of you says anything after that for a long while. You both sit with the weight of the moment, the finality of it. The quiet end of something that was never meant to become so complicated.
Eventually, Jeongguk shifts to stand. âIâll let myself out.â
You stand too, walking with him to the door.
At the threshold, he turns to look at you again. âYouâll be okay?â
âYeah,â you say, forcing a small smile. âI will.â
âNight, YN.â
âGoodnight, Jeongguk.â
The door clicks softly shut behind him, and when the tears come, you let them.
Itâs not just what just happened.
Itâs everything. Everything youâve been carrying for too long. Everything you havenât said out loud to anyone. The weight of the performance. The fear for tomorrow. The years of pretending. The songs you donât sing anymore. The girl you used to be.
Your hands are shaking by the time you reach for your phone. You hesitate only once before you find his name and hit call.
The line rings twice before Seokjin answers, his voice groggy and dry with sleep. âHello?â
You inhale shakily. âIâm sorry,â you whisper. âI know itâs late.â
âShit. Are you crying?â
Your lip trembles. âI know weâre fighting, but I didnât know who else to call.â
âYou can always call me,â he says, immediately more alert. âWhere are you? Are you safe?â
âIâm home,â you murmur, pressing the heel of your hand into your eye. âIâm safe. Just⊠Iâm so tired, Jinnie.â
âWhat happened?â he asks softly.
You donât even know where to begin. But once you start talking, you donât stop.
You tell him everything.
About Jeongguk. About the fight with his girlfriend. About the drunk visit and the proposition. You tell him how you shut it down, how you both agreed it was time to end the arrangement.
And then you tell him the rest. About the meeting tomorrow. The one youâve been dreading for days, the one that has you sick with anxiety and spiraling every time you try to imagine what Dongwook might want with you now.
You talk for what feels like hours. You expect Seokjin to say âI told you so,â but he doesnât.
When you finally stop talking, you feel wrung out. Raw.
âIâm glad you called,â he says quietly. âEven if you hate me.â
âI donât hate you,â you admit, sniffling. âI still havenât forgiven you, but I donât hate you.â
âYou should,â he says. âWhat I said⊠YN, you know I donât blame you for what happened, right? It wasnât your fault. I was just worried about you, and Iâm so sorry it came out like that.â
You shrug, even though he canât see it. âThatâs what best friends do, right? Say the one thing they know will cut the deepest.â
âI didnât mean any of it.â
âI know.â
He huffs. âGod, you really have been going through it without me.â
You laughâwet and humorless. âWelcome back to the fucking show.â
Seokjin returns your laugh, even though it's more than a little sad.
"Look, about Min Yoongi," he starts, tentative. "You're a grown woman. I don't⊠It isn't my business who you fuck, as long as you're being safe. And with you, that goes beyond condoms."
You get what he means by that, but it's funny that he brings up condomsâŠ
You go quiet.
âNo,â he gasps. âYouâre joking.â
âJinââ
âYouâre not using condoms?!â he wails. âYou have a best friend in the medical field and youâre not using condoms?â
You groan, rubbing your forehead. âThis is not what I called you for.â
âI canât just gloss over the fact that youâre letting a man youâve only recently stopped screaming at in public rawdog you. I swear to god, I will send you an entire PowerPoint about why condoms are still necessary even in monogamousââ
âJin.â
He falls silent.
âCan you just⊠be my friend right now?â
Thereâs a long pause on the other end of the line, and you know even without him saying so that Seokjin feels like heâs overstepped again.
âYeah,â he says apologetically. âYeah, of course. Iâm sorry.â
âItâs okay,â you say softly. âI know youâre just worried.â
âI am,â he admits. âIâm always worried about you. You act like youâre bulletproof, but I know better.â
You rest your forehead against your knee, tucking yourself tighter into the corner of the couch. âI donât feel bulletproof. Not tonight.â
âI know,â he says again, his voice quieter now. âAnd I know tomorrowâs gonna suck. I canât imagine how youâre keeping it together, with everything going on. But youâve got this, okay? Youâve survived worse.â
âWhat if I canât handle it?â you whisper. âWhat if I fall apart in that room?â
âYou wonât,â he says, no hesitation. âBut even if you did, youâd still be the strongest person I know.â
You sniff, wiping your eyes on your sleeve. âIâm just scared.â
âI know, babe,â he murmurs. âBut youâre not alone. Not anymore. Youâve got people nowâpeople who give a shit.â
You huff out a shaky laugh. âYeah, I guess.â
You go quiet, and he doesnât push. Just waits.
âI used to think if I was just good enough, if I made enough money, kept my mouth shut⊠maybe one day theyâd finally let me make music again. That I could earn it back. But thatâs not how it works. I was never going to get it back. I was just⊠convenient. And then I wasnât.â
âYN,â Seokjin says, his voice thick, âyou didnât deserve what happened. You know that, right?â
âI do. I just donât know how to let go of the part of me that still feels like I did.â
âYouâre not that girl anymore. You fought like hell to become someone else. And you did it. No one can take that from you.â
You close your eyes. For the first time tonight, your breathing slows. Your chest eases. You feel a little more like yourself.
âThank you,â you whisper.
âAlways.â
Thereâs a soft rustle on his end of the line, like heâs getting back into bed.
âTry to sleep, okay?â he says. âYouâll need your energy for tomorrow. If nothing else, imagine me punching Dongwook in the throat. Picture it like a movie. Good sound design. Big dramatic slo-mo.â
You snort despite yourself. âYeah. That helps.â
âLove you, YN.â
âLove you too, Jinnie.â
You stare at the ceiling long after your call with Seokjin ends.
Thereâs no clear solution, no easy answer waiting for you. Only more questions. More unknowns. But still, somehow, it feels like something shifted.
Tomorrow, youâll get dressed in whatever Hyerin hands you. Youâll show up to the meeting with your spine straight and your chin lifted. Youâll be polite. Youâll be poised. And if Dongwook tries to turn your past into currency, youâll burn the whole goddamn building down before you let him profit from your silence.
You turn off the bedside lamp and close your eyes.
Youâre not that girl anymore. Not the one who ran. Not the one who folded. Youâve survived too much to pretend otherwise.
Youâll be ready.
a/n 2: did i mention that everything is about to get really, really bad? oops
i hope you all enjoyed! by my estimate, we only have about 4 or 5 chapters to go, so the hope is that this series will be wrapped up by the end of 2026! aaaaah that feels so crazy to me, but i also think it's time. as much as i love POF, i don't want to let it drag on for too long before you all get the answers and the resolution you're looking for <3 but in the meantime, we still have a lot of points to hit! and good luck to everyone participating in the ticketing war coming up LOL
as always, feedback is always appreciated, so please leave a comment/reblog or send something into my askbox if you enjoyed! <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future fics!
omg cherish đđđ i love reading your live reactions saurrrr much my love itâs so entertaining
i think we all wanna kill dongwook atp and we havenât even really met him yet đ and iâm SORRY for making you feel sick with the intro scene HAHAHA apparently you werenât the only one who felt that way and i feel SAURRRR BAD??? i promise dongwook will get the ending he deserves đ
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark! yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/ obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 6.2k.
masterlist directory
You chew the inside of your cheek, eyes gazing over at your alarm clock. 10:00 pm. Youâve officially been clocked off for two hours and still hadnât made up your mind on whether or not you were gonna show up to Yoongiâs âkickbackâ. The simple answer shouldâve been no, but here you were driving yourself crazy as the time ticked.
You peek down at your phone, still unlocked with your messages on display.
âLet me know when you want me to pick you up, sweetheart.â
It wasnât too long after your shift ended that he had sent the message. You havenât replied to him. In fact, you were debating on blocking his number and simply ghosting him, but that wouldnât do much except encourage him to come to your job againâ or worse, your apartment. There was no doubt in your mind that he already knew where you lived since he was so versed in your life.
You look at the clock once more. 10:04 pm. Maybe youâd go, check it out, then leave. You donât have to stay long. Youâd stick out like a sore thumb around a bunch of drug dealing criminals anyway. You stand up from your bed, pulling open the doors to your wardrobe.
You push through clothes until you find something simple to throw on. You didnât want to send the wrong signal by trying to look cute. You grab a black zip up jacket, along with a pair of black leggings. The outfit selection gave âlate night jogâ. It couldnât get more simple than that.
You toss the outfit down on the bed before picking up your phone to finally respond to Yoongi. You donât send a long, detailed message or say too much. You just send him your address, then quickly place the phone back down on the bed. No turning back now.
As youâre stripping off the robe you threw on after your shower earlier, your phone buzzes. You pick it up, seeing Yoongiâs number show in the notifications. âIâll be there soon, sweetheart.â You sigh, tossing the phone back down, your heart pounding against your chest in apprehension. You return to changing into your outfit for tonight, stepping into the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror. âSimple.â You assure yourself with a nod.
Heading back into your bedroom, you grab your phone off the bed, and purse off your nightstand, then venture off into your living room. It wasnât too long before your phone vibrated again, and you checked to see his number in your notifications with the short and cutthroat message. âHere.â
âWell, that was fastâŠâ you thought dreadfully. Too fast. Almost like heâd been driving around the area waiting for your text. You squeeze your eyes shut and take a long, dragged out breath of air. You truly werenât prepared for this, which is why you find yourself stalling as you make sure every light in your apartment is off, and random things that you usually never give a shit about are in place.
Your attention is suddenly on the flowers sitting on your table; the flowers Jungkook bought you. He still hadnât contacted you today, and if youâre being completely honest you didnât know if heâd ever contact you again after your behavior last night. You were stuck in your stubborn ways earlier, telling yourself you didnât care, but now it was starting to weigh heavily on your heart. This wouldnât be the first time you and Jungkook had a falling out. You remembered vividly how you stopped being his friend sophomore year of high school. You didnât reconnect again until senior year.
Now youâre adults. And dating. The hurt is so much more deeper than it was back then. You shake your head, washing him from your thoughts. No. If he didnât care, why should you? You had bigger fish to focus on right now, and that was the devil that awaited you outside your apartment. You close your door, making sure to lock it behind you.
âHeading out tonight?â A voice startles you from behind. You whip around, coming face to face with your neighbor Hoseok. âOh gosh,â you place your hand over your chest, your heart beating faster than before. âHoseok you scared me. I didnât hear you come out.â
âMy ninja instincts, I suppose.â He chuckled. âSo whereâre you headed off to this fine night? Looks like youâre going for a jog.â
Thatâs exactly the look you wanted to give. Nothing else. âJust hanging with an⊠acquaintance⊠for a better lack of words.â You mumble, scratching the back of your neck. âHow about you? Whatâre you doing coming out at this time?â You question. He waves his mailbox key in your face. âChecking my mailbox,â he says.
He always seemed to be checking his mail whenever you came out. Perhaps Mina wasnât far off when she said he probably watches you through his peephole. âMind if I join you on your walk down the hall?â He wiggles his eyebrows. You laugh lightly, shaking your head. âNot at all. Join me.â You smile. âGives me another reason to stall.â Hoseok follows you as you walk down the hall to the apartment entrance doors.
âSo howâs work going?â Hoseok asks, twirling his keychain around his index finger. âYou never brought me back a rice cake.â He pouted in a playful manner. You palmed your forehead, totally forgetting that he did in fact ask you the day you and Mina went out for lunch. âOh shit, Iâm sorry. Itâs been a hectic couple of days. A lot has been on my mindâŠâ
âNo sweat. Iâll just have to come in person and bother you.â He smirked. âSureâ you chuckled. âIâll make sure itâs on the house.â
As you reach the mailboxes, you stare outside, seeing Yoongiâs car parked in the middle of the road. The raven is sitting on the driverâs side, his eyes locked on his phone. You swallowed the lump in your throat, thinking about how uncomfortable this car ride was gonna be. âThatâs⊠your acquaintance?â Hoseok trails off, his face looking pale as he eyed the car with you. âYeah⊠Iâm guessing you know him?â
âHeâs the devil of Daegu,â Hoseokâs normally cheery voice was now full of fear. He looked at you with concern. âYou should really be careful with that guy, y/n. I donât know if heâs holding something over your head, but heâs dangerous.â
The way he spoke seemed as though he knew this information firsthand. Before you could question that theory though, a loud honk startles the both of you. Yoongi was now looking over at the two of you through the glass doors. Hoseok clears his throat. âIâll uh⊠check my mailbox another time.â He leaves, rushing back down the hall. You watch him go, feeling as though you made the biggest mistake.
You look back over to Yoongi, whoâs still watching you. You bit down on your bottom lip before walking outside through the entrance doors and down the stairs. You hear his doors unlock, and he reaches over to the passenger side to push open the door for you. âTook you long enough. A taxi wouldâve left your ass by now.â He mumbles as you get in, shutting your door.
âIâm sorry. I was talking to my neighborâŠâ
âYeah, I noticed,â he scolded as he took off. You two sat in silence for a bit before he spoke again. âSo, how is Hoseok?â He questioned, looking over at you. You side eye the raven. âYou know Hoseok?â That answers your previous question about whether Hoseok knew him personally. âOh, we go way back. Hoseok used to be my Joon back in the day.â
Your eyes widened. There was no way that Hoseok used to be Yoongiâs right hand man before Joon. He was too sweet, too happy-go-lucky, too⊠goofy. âHoseok worked for you?â Yoongi nodded, his fingers tapping the steering wheel. âIndeed he did, princess. He was loyal, like a brother to meâŠâ
âWhat happened?â You questioned, trying to see how much heâd tell you. Yoongi stared ahead at the road in silence and you felt as though you had reached your question limit. You noticed the surroundings started to look a little abysmal, and knew you were entering Gongdan territory. âHe tried to set me up,â Yoongi finally answers. âFucking informant was gonna get me put in the joint for life.â
You tilted your head in confusion. âThe⊠joint?â
Yoongi looks at you with a raised eyebrow, a mocking expression on his face. âPrison, sweetheart.â
âOh⊠you couldâve just called it thatâŠâ You mumbled, looking away from his shit-eating grin. You couldnât believe Hoseok used to work for Yoongi. Much less could you believe that he ratted Yoongi out, and considering that the raven was free to tell the tale, you were surprised that Hoseok was alive and kicking. Especially with what Jungkook told you he did to Si-Woo for stealing. You couldnât imagine what he would do to a snitch.
âAnd heâs still aliveâŠ?â It was more of a question than a statement. You look over at Yoongi and you see his shit-eating grin was no longer there, and he went back to tapping the steering wheel. âAs you can see.â
âYou just⊠let him go?â
âNo.â Was all Yoongi said. For some reason the one word reply felt more ominous than him simply saying what he did, which had to be something heinous. You figured he wouldnât tell you, but he at least had to let you know that nobody crosses him and gets âlet goâ⊠in the most vague way possible. Yoongi finally pulls into the driveway of his warehouse; you could hear the loud sound of rap music blasting from the inside, and people standing outside passing around a cigaretteâ or at least thatâs what you assumed it was.
âI thought kickbacks usually involved a small group of friendsâŠâ you mumbled as you watched a group of girls wearing clothes that left nothing to the imagination walking out of the building. Now you were starting to regret your decision to come. You were definitely going to stick out in your jogging clothes. You could hear the whispers now.
âNo, sleepovers usually involve a small group of friends. Do I look like a 14 year old kid to you?â You ignored his response, rolling your eyes as you continued to stare at the girls. Yoongi notices and spares a glance at them. âGetting cold feet, sweetheart?â
âNo. Iâve just never been to a party like this before.â You admitted. You had been to crazy, crowded parties before but they were never like this. They were always the teen movie basic kind of house parties with loud club music, dumb drunk guys flirting, and someone occupying the bedrooms having sexâ not that you doubted that part wouldnât be happening here. Yoongiâs party gave sketchy vibes though. Like, drugs being sold or taken, shootouts with rival gangs, and girls being pimped out sketchy. It probably smelled like weed too.
âArenât you a college girl? Not much different from those parties.â
âMy college parties never had drugs and criminals everywhere.â
Yoongi snickered. âOf course it did. Youâre just too much of a good girl to notice. I used to have my guys selling at those little college parties.â He spoke smugly, almost like he was proud to be a degenerate to society. âYouâre safe when youâre with me, princess. Nothing to worry about.â He assured you. You sigh, cursing yourself internally for agreeing to come. You donât say anything as you open your side door and climb out. Yoongi follows suit, climbing out as well.
Your heart beats damn near out of your chest as you walk towards the familiar entrance door. The girls with little to nothing on giggled flirtatiously as Yoongi walks by. âGreat party, Yoongi.â One of them says. Yoongi doesnât respond, treating them almost like they were invisible as you both walk inside. The music is blaring much louder now that you were inside. The two of you walk up the cemented stairs; you walk carefully as you notice there was no banister to protect you from falling.
When you finally enter the main floor, youâre hit with the aroma of marijuana instantly. You scrunch your nose up in disgust at the smell. As your eyes scope the scenery, youâre surprised to see there werenât as many people as you thought. Still a lot of people, but youâre able to get through the crowd without squeezing past. Youâre also surprised to see the inside of the warehouse was nicer than expected. Still a bit disheveled, which you fully expected a gang hideout to be, but it was incredibly spacious and decked out. You see an extra set of stairs that lead up to a lofted area, with more people up top.
Yoongi moves close to your ear, you could feel the warmth of his breath as he speaks over the music. âIsnât what you expected it to be, huh?â He says, noticing your astonishment.
âIt still looks like a drug house.â You humble him. You heard him make a âtskâ sound in response. As the two of you maneuver around people, you feel Yoongiâs hands grip your hips to help you through. You shudder a bit, but choose to stay silent. âAye, honcho!â Joon yells over the music, lifting a red solo cup in the air to signal you two over. Heâs standing around a table with the two guys that were with him at Makoto earlier today, and four girls, who all look you up and down as you arrive at the table.
Joon smirks as he sees you . âWonder Woman, you actually came?â He raises a brow. âDonât look too excited. I donât plan on staying too long.â You assure him, avoiding eye contact with any of the ladies. Joon shrugged as though it made no difference to him, taking another swig of whatever he had in his cup before passing it over to Yoongi. You could tell by his droopy eyes that he was intoxicated. âHi, Iâm Sana.â One of the girls finally speak, extending her hand out to you. You hesitantly take it in yours. âY/n.â You greet back.
The other girls donât bother with the same kind gesture, which makes you feel slightly uncomfortable. âI love your look. I wish I wouldâve thought to dress down tonight. Total eye catcher.â Sana says. You squint your eyes at the backhanded compliment. âThanks. I didnât know it was a prostitute party otherwise I wouldâve dressed just like you.â You smile.
Joon and the other two guys burst out in laughter, leaving Sanaâs face red in embarrassment. âGotta be careful with this chick,â Joon says to Sana. âWonder Woman and I almost went toe to toe and the little badass didnât back down.â Joon reminisces on your first encounter with him. âLike I care what this basic bitch thinks or says.â She sneered. âLetâs go ladies, bathroom break.â She stomps off with the other girls following suit.
âDumb bitchesâŠâ you thought, eyeing them as they do the same to you. âLooks like you pissed her off enough to go powder her nose.â One of the guys say. You look over to the two unknowns, raising an eyebrow. âPowder her nose?â
They look at you with the same shit-eating grin Yoongi gave you on the car ride over here. âCoke, sweetheart.â The raven fills in the gap for you like he did then too. They all laugh at you as though you should be ashamed for not knowing the girl code for âletâs do cokeâ.
âBe easy on princess here, sheâs a genuine good girl.â Yoongi smirks, taking a drink from the cup Joon gave him. Your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek in agitation. You look away from the chuckling men, surveying the surroundings of the warehouse. Your eyes fall upon two people having sex on a couch off in a corner. Like, full fledged sex, and no one seemed to mind. As though it was a normal occurrence that happens here.
Your face scrunches up in disgust, which catches the attention of Joon. âWhatâre you turninâ your nose up at, doll?â
You gesture to the couple going at it on the couch. âDo you not see those two going to town?â You question, appalled by their unamused faces. âYeah, heâs not even doing it right. She looks unsatisfied.â One of the guys snorted. âUck.â You reply, disgusted. âWhatâs the big deal? You act like youâve never had sex before.â Joon says. You go mute, your body fidgeting awkwardly. That doesnât go unnoticed by a certain raven haired man.
âYou havenât?â Yoongi questions. You avoid eye contact with him; the topic seeming to have peaked his interest. You donât respond. âYour so-called boyfriend hasnât fucked you yet?â He presses more.
The question was so brash, so intrusive. It angered you, reminding you how Jungkook rejected you the other day. âItâs really none of your fucking business.â You hiss at the raven before storming off, not letting him get any word in. You werenât sure where you were storming off to, but you didnât wanna be around Yoongi or Joon, that was certain. As you push past people, you find yourself in a partially empty kitchen.
You pull out your phone, checking to see if there were any messages from Jungkook, and much to your dismay there werenât. You could feel your eyes start to prickle with tears. âServer girl?â A voice startles you. You look up to see a shaggy brunette. You tilt your head in confusion as to how he knew you, but then realization dawns. The guy who was trying to flirt with you at Makato in front of his female companion. âOh, itâs you... Taehyung, right?â
He smirks proudly. âI guess I made a good impression if you remember my name.â
You roll your eyes. âYou guessed wrong. I just have a keen sense of memory when it comes to sleazes who try to hit on me at work.â You scowl. Taehyung makes a fake wincing sound, placing his hand over his chest as though he was wounded. âOh baby, be gentle with me.â He pouts. âI just thought Iâd have a chance the same way you gave the big honcho one. Usually the boss likes to share.â
âThe boss? Youâre another one of Yoongiâs minions?â You glower. Honestly that didnât surprise you. It seemed that all the kingâs men were obnoxious pretty boys. âMinion?â He scoffed. âWatch it, sweetheart. Iâm the bossâs third in command. The one who really gets shit handled.â
You roll your eyes, unimpressed. âWell compared to Joon, youâre really just the water boy.â You mockingly pout. Taehyung squints at you, tongue poking the inside of his cheek before he hastily steps forward and grips your chin between his thumb and index finger. âYouâve got a smartass mouth. Keep talking like that Iâll make it fucking useful and shove my cock down your throaââ
âBack off, dickcheese.â Taehyung is cut off as Sana enters the kitchen with her three shadows closely behind. He glares over at her. âMind your business, slut.â He spat. âThis has nothing to do with you.â Sana tilts her head, arms crossed. âReally? Do I need to let your boss know that youâre harassing his special guest? I donât think heâd approve.â She threatened.
Taehyung snarled, releasing his grip on you. âJust playing around, sweetheart. No hard feelings.â He smirks, turning on his heels to exit the kitchen and leaving you alone with the Wolfpack. âThanksâŠâ you say softly.
âNo problem,â Sana shrugs. âSorry about how I acted, by the way.â She says. You couldnât tell if the apology came from a real place of sincerity or if it was the coke she had apparently used seeping through. Either way, you accepted the apology.
âGuess Iâm just not over Yoongi.â She suddenly admits, her back leaning against the wall. You raise a brow at this confession. âYou and Yoongi used to date?â You ask. Sana snorts in response. âDate? No. Yoongi doesnât do relationships or feelings. He doesnât care about anything but his money. I was just his latest conquest at the time. Just like you are now.â
âIâm not his latest anything. Iâm not even into Yoongi, rest assured.â
âMaybe not yet. But you will be eventually, and as soon as heâs got his hooks in you heâs gonna drop you like youâre nothing. Like he did me,â
If only she knew how much that sounded like a dream come true to you. No more coming into your job, no more making you bike to Gongdan, no texting your phone. Unlike Sana, you werenât falling for Yoongiâs bad boy, Pablo Escobar lifestyle. You arenât even sure if itâs safe to be associated with him in any manner.
âYou know⊠he didnât even invite me to this stupid kickback. I had to find out from Yuna here since sheâs fucking Joonie.â she continues. You sigh, a slight feeling of sympathy coming over you. You felt bad for her, but what did she expect from someone like him?
Regardless, as a woman whoâs been in the same situation before you and Jungkook started dating you understood. Jungkook used to be the biggest player in high school. It killed you every time you saw him with a new girl. Honestly, you felt after last night that he probably resorted to his old ways. Thatâs why he hadnât reached out yet. Perhaps you should follow his example.
âWellâŠâ you trail off, eyeing a punch bowl that you know is probably more liquor than fruit punch. You grab an empty solo cup from the counter, then walk over to the punch bowl on the table, taking the ladle as you pour yourself a cup of liquid death. âThey do say the best way to piss a man off is to not give a fuck, right?â You lift your cup in the air. âSo ladies, shall we not give a fuck?â
Sana smirked. âI think I like you already.â
Realistically speaking, you didnât know what you were thinking after about the fifth cup of alcohol. You especially overdid it when Sana suggested taking shots too. Now, you were in the middle of the proclaimed dance floor with Sana, Yuna, Chaeyoung, and Yuri. All eyes were on the five of you as you danced like no one was watching. You were beyond the point of wasted, there was no denying that. You hadnât been this drunk since you found out about the death of your parents.
âYouâre the most beautiful woman Iâve ever seen.â An unfamiliar voice whispered in your ear. You turned, coming face to face with a man with dark blue hair. You examine this unknown man. His attire wasnât the normal party ensemble that everyone in here wore. He sported a red blazer over a black buttoned up shirt, the first top buttons were unbuttoned. It was a drip that looked like he belonged in a casino. The unbuttoned shirt left room to see two tattoos of the north star on his neck. Those werenât his only tattoos though as both his hands were tatted as well.
He was a pretty boy, no doubt someone that worked for Yoongi. Or with Yoongi. There was a defying vibe to him that seemed like he wasnât the type to take orders from anyone but himself. âHow many ears have you whispered that into tonight?â You finally respond after your analysis. He smirks. âJust yours, beloved. Youâre the only one catching my attention.â
âMust be my tracksuit.â You smile, which he returns. âDonât be so modest, beloved. Itâs a little more than the tracksuit. Itâs the way you dance too, I canât imagine that Iâm the only man in here staring at you.â He says. You didnât doubt that. That was apparent by the feeling of someone staring daggers your way. âWe should get outta here. Maybe you can show me some dance moves in private.â
You chuckle, tilting your head. âComing on kind of strong, arenât you?â
âWhat can I say? When I like what I see I go for it, beloved. No sense in beating around the bush.â His tongue runs over his bottom lip, his eyes staring deep into yours. The confidence this man exuded reminded you of a certain raven. âCan I at least know your name first?â You giggle. âYou could be a serial killer. Which wouldnât be far-fetched considering Iâm in a room surrounded by criminals.â
âJongup.â Heâs cut off by a now familiar voice. One that you knew too well at this point. âBingo.â Jongup smiles, his eyes leaving yours to watch as Yoongi approaches the two of you. âYoongi, my man.â He greets the raven, but Yoongiâs face doesn't look too pleased at the sight of Jongup. âWhatâre you doing here?â He cuts to the chase.
âI heard you were having a little gathering here, thought Iâd pop in and check it out real quick since I wasnât formally invited. Had no intentions of staying long until I bumped into my future Mrs. Moon.â Jongup is looking at you again. You felt your cheeks heat up. This man is smooth.
âI donât like surprises, you should know that. So next time you wanna pop in make sure you run it by Joon and if Iâm in a better mood Iâll think about you checking in.â
âI was just heading out, boss man. Just waiting to take this little lady with me.â
Yoongiâs jaw clenched, his arm suddenly wrapping around your waist as he pulls you to his side. It was firm. It was possessive. âSheâs spoken for.â He says, his voice low. You wanted to argue that notion, say you werenât spoken for by him. But the look in his eyes was dark. Dangerous. Scary like the mugshot you saw him in. The devil was unleashed, and you didnât wanna piss him off further.
âYou donât say⊠Well, thatâs disappointing.â Jongup clicks his tongue. âMaybe when youâre all done you can send her my way. Like we used to do back in the day, huh?â He pats Yoongi on his shoulder. This act seemed to set Yoongi off because before you could even blink he was on top of Jongup, fist colliding with his jaw so hard that you heard a crack. Every hit seemed to get more fierce. The crowd around you gasped and screamed, backing away from the devil at work. âYoongi!â Sana screeched.
Blood coated the ravenâs knuckle, and Jongup laid a bloody mess underneath him. He wasnât even fighting back. Or maybe he couldnât. If this brutality went on any longer you donât think heâd be alive anymore.
âOkay Yoongi, thatâs enough!â You shout to no avail. The raven just kept at it, even at the sound of a crunch like Jongupâs nose had now been broken too. âI said fucking stop, damnit!â You grab his wrist just as it was coming down for another blow. The raven shoots you a glare. His hair was a mess, black strands covering his feral eyes. âStop. Please.â You quietly plead with him.
Yoongi closes his eyes, releasing a heavy breath of air. He pulls his wrist from your grasp, standing up from the now unconscious man. âGet this piece of shit off my floor before I change my mind.â He mumbled, weaving between the crowd of people as he headed into a room and slammed the door shut behind him. Joon, and the two guys that were standing at the table a bit ago rushed over to pick Jongup off the floor.
You shake your head at the limp body. They didnât even check if he was still breathing or not. You push through the crowd of people, heading towards the room Yoongi disappeared into. Sanaâs eyes burned into your skull. If looks could kill youâd be dead a hundred times over. You opened the door, shutting it behind you. You spot Yoongi staring into a mirror, a white t-shirt pressed against his knuckle, covered in a mixture of his blood and Jongupâs.
âYou wanna tell me what the hell that was in there?â You demand. âYou beat that guy half to death!â The raven spares you a quick glance through his disheveled hair, but he doesnât respond. He continues to tend to his injured knuckle. You sigh, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. âLet me check that for you.â Your tone softens. You walk over to the bed, plopping down on the end. You pat the space next to you, insisting that he sit down.
He does.
You take his hand in yours, moving the t-shirt out of the way. You examine his bruised, bloody knuckle and make sure his hand wasnât fractured or broken by gently squeezing it to see if he reacted. âWell, the good news is your hand doesnât seem broken. But youâre definitely gonna need to thoroughly clean the open wound with alcohol to keep from getting an infection.â You say, pressing the shirt back to his knuckle. It looked like Jongupâs teeth were indented into the ravenâs knuckle.
âEx nursing student, right?â Yoongi finally breaks his silence. You nod. âOnly for a little bit, so Iâm not too well versed. Anything I know Iâve learned from my mom before sheâŠâ you trail off, not wanting to finish your sentence because you knew he was already well aware.
âMy parents are dead too.â The raven says. You look away from his bleeding hand, staring up at him with sympathetic eyes. âIâm sorry to hear that,â You mutter. The confession didnât come as a surprise to you. You figured there had to be some dark revelation that made Yoongi the proclaimed devil that he was known as. âIf you donât mind me asking⊠how did they die?â You questioned. You didnât think it was too much of an invasive question considering who you were asking, but you still had your moral compass.
âThey were murdered when I was a kid. It happened right in front of me.â
Your eyes widened. âO-oh my god⊠a-and the killer spared you?â You stutter, giving him a horrified look. Yoongi slowly shakes his head. âHe kidnapped me, held me hostage for years. He was nice though. Treated me like I was his own son, and taught me everything I know. Eventually I fell into Stockholm syndrome, really seeing him as a father figure until I was about 15 years old.â
You were immersed into the eerie story, chills running down your spine. âSo what happened to him?â
âI killed him,â his voice was ominous. âI snuck into his room while he was asleep and slit his throat from ear to ear. Then I watched him bleed out in front of me.â Your heart thumped against your chest so loudly you wouldnât be surprised if Yoongi could hear it in the now silent room. You didnât even know what to say next.
Suddenly the raven flashes his gummy smile. âIâm fuckinâ with you, sweetheart.â He chuckles. âMy parents died in a house fire after my drunkard father left the stove on.â You scowled at him in disbelief, lightly shoving him with your free hand that wasnât holding on to the t-shirt. âYouâre a sadistic asshole, yâknow that? Who even jokes about something so morbid?â
Yoongi shrugs. âItâs either I cry like a bitch, or find some dark humor in it. Iâd prefer the latter, no matter how sick and twisted that may sound.â
âWell to me it sounds like a cry for help.â You counseled. âLike you wanna lash out about it but you feel like itâll humanize you too much and people might actually start seeing you as a person. But you donât want anyone to see you as anything more than âThe Devil of Daeguâ.â
Yoongi scoffed, your observation seeming to irritate him. âI thought you went to school to be a nurse, not a fucking therapist.â
You roll your eyes at the deflection, choosing not to waste your time trying to asses him. âWhatever.â You mumble, pulling away the shirt to see if the bleeding had slowed down. You and Yoongi sat in silence as you did. You had kept your composure well but deep down you wanted to puke as the effects of the alcohol were taking over. âJongup is my half brother.â The raven admits. âMy dad used to fuck around on my mom a lot when I was a kid. Jongup is two years younger than me, so I always felt a responsibility to be in his life and take care of him as an older brother should.â
âYou took care of him, alright. Practically killed him.â You interjected.
âYeah, well, heâs a fucking joke and a waste of space.â Yoongi snapped. âI brought him into my world, and I take this shit very seriously. He didnât. He was erratic and bad for business, so I kicked him out.â
âYou donât think youâre erratic? Look what you just did in there. And the things youâve done.â You argue. You didnât forget everything you read on his jail records. Attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon. If that wasnât erratic then you donât know what was.
âI donât do things out of emotion or because I want to. I do them because I have to. Iâm a leader, a business man. I keep my composure when needed, but I donât take disrespect. If I did I wouldn't be running shit for as long as I have.â
âSo what about the old couple from my job? Did you have to harass them? Or did you just do it because you wanted to?â You pressed. Yoongi sighs, his tongue running over his bottom lip. He doesnât answer your question, and thatâs enough for you. âExactly.â You quipped. You decide that his wound was clean enough, handing him the t-shirt to do with it as he saw fit. âYou should put some hydrogen peroxide on it after you wash your hand.â You advise before standing up to leave the room.
Yoongi quickly grabs your wrist, stopping you from leaving. âStay with me for a minute.â His voice was soft, much like it was back in Makoto when he convinced you to attend this catastrophic kickback. And just like then, you fall for it. Sitting back down with a huff. At least sitting in here saved you from going back out there where Sana could grill you about why you followed Yoongi in the first place. Why did you follow him in the first place? âI like the way you call me on my bullshit,â Yoongi says, his eyes searching for yours, waiting for them to lock with his own.
They do.
âThereâs never been a woman to do that. Theyâre all too scared. Then thereâs youâŠâ he laughs slightly. âYou stand up to me like you donât have a fear in the world. Iâm attracted to that.â
You swallow the lump that welled up in your throat. You were at a loss for words at this unforeseen admission. You could do nothing but say the ravenâs name, hoping that something would come to mind. âYoongiâŠIââ
âI want you, y/n. I want you badly.â You could smell the liquor heavy on his breath as the raven inches his face closer to yours. âAnd I know deep down you want me too, thatâs why you even came tonight. Thatâs why youâre here with me now.â He whispered. You donât respond, but for some reason you donât move away either.
Maybe it was the intoxication clouding your judgement, or maybe he was right and you were attracted to him. More than you liked to admit. But what were you attracted to? You werenât quite sure. His lips brush over yours, and you close your eyes bracing for contact. Just as Yoongiâs lips were against yours, the room door swings open to reveal Nam-joon at the center of it. âYo, honchoââ
You quickly pull away, trying to play off that nothing had happened but anyone with common sense could put two and two together. Joon looks from you to Yoongi, then smirks. âWell pardon me, did I interrupt a sweet little moment here?â The lanky man teases. Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, eyes staring forward as you refuse to look at either of the men.
Suddenly, in your shameful state, Jungkookâs face flashes in your mind. His laugh, his smile, his voice. Him.
How could you kiss another man? Especially a thug like Yoongi? A man that had allegedly killed one of Jungkookâs friends? And probably others too? You felt sick to your stomach, like you were going to vomit any minute now if you didnât leave out of this room. âI-I need to go to the bathroom.â You stutter, swiftly standing to your feet.
âY/n, just wait a secondâŠâ
You ignore him, pushing past Joon out of the room. âItâs the door on the left of the loft stairs.â Joon informs you. As you enter back to the party, you pretend not to see Sana watching you once she notices you exit the room. You head over to the door by the loft stairs just as you were told, not even knocking before you open the bathroom door. You freeze as you encounter a man snorting coke on the sink. âIâm so sorry! I didnât know anyone was in here.â You apologize.
The man looks at you. His eyes are wide, and as are yours as you realize exactly who it was snorting coke on the bathroom sink.
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi Ă f.reader.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 2.7k
authorâs note: this chapter is a little shorter my friends as iâm trying get the chapters out faster for you lololol. I feel like I take so long because I write long ass chapters. i think i need to cut them up.
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"Oh my god... Jin?!" You froze, your eyes locking with his in utter shock. For a disoriented moment, you wondered if the night's stress was making you hallucinate. The nausea you felt moments ago was now gone, replaced by a desperate need to escape the sudden, awkward situation.
You fled the ghastly scene, spinning away quickly. "Y/n, waitâplease wait!" he called, grabbing your wrist before you could escape. "I-It wasn't what it looked like, I swear," he tried to explain, but the words were wasted. It was all clear now. The jumpiness, the anxiety, the constant phone checking Mina complained about. Jin wasn't cheating. He was on drugs.
âJin, I really donât feel comfortable having this conversation. This is a lot to process right now.â
âI know⊠I know,â he stammered. âBut please, you canât tell Mina. She would never forgive me if she knew about thisâabout me, and the people I hang around.â
Now he was unfairly burdening you. Mina was practically your sister; how could he possibly expect you to keep a secret this vital away from her? âJin, Mina thinks youâre cheating. She thinks she should break up with you before you break up with her. Do you even care how youâre making her feel?â
âOf course I care!â he yelled, quieting as nearby conversations paused. âOf course I care. I love Mina; I want to build a life with her. But work has been terrible, Iâm sure sheâs told you. I havenât made a single sale, and money is tightâŠâ He let the thought hang, confident you understood exactly what he was getting at.
You tilted your head, the dots connecting faster than you could speak. âJin⊠donât tell me youâre selling them too?â When he dropped his gaze, a shocked gasp escaped you. "You're working for Yoongi? You can't be serious?"
âIâm doing this for Mina,â he insisted.
âBullshit. This is the last thing Mina would want. I canât keep this from her, Seokjin. Iâm sorry.â You turned away, preparing to find a quiet place to call your friend, but Jinâs next words stopped you cold. âDoes Jungkook know youâre here with Yoongi? I saw you go into a room alone with him, you were in there for quite some time.â
You whip around, facing him once again. âI was just making sure he was okay after he almost beat a guy to death. Thatâs it, thatâs all.â
âYeah,â he chortled, his eyes glinting. âI saw it. Pretty interesting how ready Yoongi was to almost kill a guy just for talking to you. âSheâs spoken for,â right?â His tone was pure menace. You stared at this new Jin, unsure if the aggression was the coke or his true self hidden beneath his friendly facade.
âGo to hell,â you snapped. âThere is nothing going on between Yoongi and me. I barely know him.â
âOh yeah? Then whatâs your excuse for being here?â he taunted. âWhatâs Miss Fucking Perfect doing with the infamous Min Yoongi? You clearly know what he does, but do you know what heâs capable of?â
âDo you?â you countered, closing the distance between the two of you. âI heard Yoongi chopped up the last dealer who didnât have his money. So I pray that wasn't his cocaine you just snorted, because God help you if it was.â
Jin swallowed a lump, refusing to back down. âTell Mina, and I tell Jungkook,â he warned, the threat hanging heavy between you. âI donât want to do that to you, Y/n. Youâre my friend.â The reminder was meaningless; you knew you were only ever your best friendâs connection to him. He probably never saw you as a friend.
Just then, an unexpected thought struck you, a memory igniting in your head like a firework.
âI donât remember telling you my name.â
âYou didnât need to. I have my sources and connections, Princess. Whatever I need or want, I get.â
âIt was youâŠâ you muttered. âYouâre Yoongiâs so-called âsources and connectionsâ. Youâre the one that told him who I was, didnât you?â
Jin opened his mouth, but the need to lie vanished. You had already caught him, and it made perfect sense. He was Minaâs boyfriend, of course he knew enough about you to feed information to Yoongi. Your hands balled into fists, and you gritted your teeth. âYou fucking lowlife bastard!â you hollered over the music.
People around you stop to look at yet another scene tonight. Though yours wasnât going to be as brutal and bloody as Yoongiâs, you still intended to draw blood. You cocked your fist backâand the next second, it cracked against Jinâs nose.
Jin made a shrill sound of pain, hands rushing to cover his nose. Blood seeped through his fingers. You were far from finished though, seething with rage at this betrayal. Just as you prepare to attack again, a hand yanks you back by your wrist.
âEasy there, tiger.â Says Yoongi, keeping your wrist tight in his grasp. âWhatâs going on here?â
"Like you don't fucking know!" you hiss at Yoongi, snatching your wrist away from the raven haired man. Yoongi stares at you in silence for a mere moment before his gaze suddenly flicks towards Jin. Much like the first day those dark eyes landed on you, Jin shudders, instantly bowing down to Yoongi as though he were a God.
A scoff escapes you at the humiliating sight of a grown man bowing to another. You were starting to realize that Jin lacked any shred of dignity. You hated this for Mina. "I'm done with this circus," you declared. "Take me home. Now."
Yoongiâs cold eyes fix on you again. He ran a hand through his long hair, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. "Joon," he calls. Like a dog responding to its owner, Joon was instantly at Yoongi's side. "Handle shit while I'm gone. I'm gonna take babygirl home."
âYou got it, honcho.â
You spun on your heels, leading the way toward the exit with Yoongi a step behind you. You rushed down the banisterless stairs, shoving the door open with its loud, grating creak. The outside air brushed your faceâand that was as far as you got. Before you could take another step, you were spun hard, and slammed against the cold metal of the warehouse door.
âWhat the fucââ you start, immediately cut short as Yoongiâs hand slams over your mouth, preventing any retort. âDonât fucking talk, listen,â he commands. You exhale sharply against his hand, letting the man continue. âI know I said I like the way you call me on my bullshit, but I have my limits, sweetheart. Iâve given you a lot of grace since Iâve fucking met you, but don't ever talk to me like that in front of people again. You got me?â
A hard lump catches in your throat. His voice was steady, but the cold fury vibrating through his hand told you exactly how pissed off he was. It wasn't the smart mouth he hated, it was the disrespect shown in the view of others. You didn't even consider arguing. You simply offered him a slow, obedient nod.
He took a step back, the pressure on your mouth instantly released. âWalk,â he ordered. You brushed roughly past the raven and scrambled to the car. You wrenched the door open and slammed it shut as you climbed in. Yoongi dropped into the driverâs seat, his door echoing yours with a heavy slam. He didn't even spare you a glance, already starting the ignition.
As the car pulls away from the warehouse, youâre internally glad to leave Gongdan, back to your cozy, quiet and convict-free apartment. The silence between you and Yoongi was heavy, stretching for a full five minutes as you avoided his gaze by staring out the window. Finally, the raven spoke, his voice in that manipulating soft tone that kept making you think he was different from what people said. âLook, Iâm sorry for being rough with you back there. I don't wanna be rough with you like that. But I told you I donât take disrespect.â
You ignored him, the bantering not worth the effort. âYou giving me the silent treatment now?â he continued, pushing you until, true to your nature, you finally cracked. âJust pick a damn side already. Youâre either sweet and caring, or youâre a dangerous asshole. You can't be both!â You took a shaky breath. âAnd Jin? How dare you drag him into your criminal mess and get him addicted to coke?!â
Yoongi chuckled at the accusation that he had anything to do with Jinâs addiction. âHate to break it to you, princess, but your friend was already a coke fiend before he met me. Don't pin that shit on me.â He scoffed. âAs for him selling for me? He came to me begging for bread. Gave me a sob story about providing for his girl, even showed me her picture. I recognized her instantly the day I saw her with you at Makoto. That's when I asked Jin to tell me everything he knew about you.â
There it was; the confession. Not that you thought heâd lie about it. You know now, what reason would he have to pretend that Jin wasnât his source? You shook your head. Despite your anger at Jin, you didn't want him hurt. That would crush Mina, and in turn crush you as well.
âI donât see why youâre so pissed,â Yoongi continued, shrugging. âI helped your friendâs boyfriend. He was broke, now heâs not. Not shit in this life is free, sweetheart. He had to pay me back somehow.â
âYou helped him?â You repeated, disgusted by his delusional pretense of heroism. You finally turned from the window to face the raven. âLike you helped Si-Woo?â
The name ignited a spark in Yoongi; his knuckles immediately whitened around the steering wheel. âThe fuck do you think you know about Si-Woo?â His eyes were vicious as they pinned you down. âI know that he was found chopped up weeks after you pistol-whipped him,â you stated, quoting Jungkookâs grim story. Yoongiâs silence was your cue. âIf anything happens to Jin, I swear to Godââ
The car jerked to a violent stop, jolting you. You looked out the window, noticing you were close to the alley where those men had attacked you. âYou swear to God what?â Yoongi's voice was a hard challenge, daring you to finish the threat. You remained silent. âLike I thought. Watch your fuckinâ mouth, and tread carefully with me, Y/n.â He warned. âStop playing detective because you donât know what the hell you're talking about. Everything you think you know about me is based on other peopleâs speculations.â
âYeah? Well, so far your reputation precedes you,â you countered, yanking the car door open. You stepped out, slamming the door shut, and started walking down the sidewalk. Insane? You must be. Walking Gongdan alone at this hour was foolish. The poor decision proved the alcohol hadn't yet worn off.
âWhat the fuck are you doing? Get back in the car!â Yoongi shouted out the passenger window. You ignored the command, burying your hands in your jacket. As the car tailed you slowly, he repeated the order.
âNo. Iâm walking home.â
âYouâre not walking home,â he argued. âYou wonât make it out of Gongdan alive if you try.â You gave a dismissive shrug. âDonât pretend you care about my wellbeing. You only care about yourself; Sana made that perfectly clear,â you challenged. âAll you wanna do is screw me.â
Frustrated, Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, slammed the transmission into park, and exited the car. He quickly caught up to you, his fingers clamping around your wrist to halt your defiant walk. "Get back in the car," he said, his tone soft, almost pleading.
"No!" you insisted, planting your feet and wrenching against his grip. He wouldn't release you, and soon you were fighting and flailing against his strength. "For fuck's sake!" he shouted, grabbing your other wrist. He dragged you, struggling fiercely, back toward the car, but you made re-entering the passenger seat an impossible task.
Finally giving up, Yoongi slammed you down onto the car's hood. Your wrists were pinned above your head, his knee wedged between your legs to cease your kicks. He hovered over you, his long hair and silver chains dangling. "You're the most disobedient woman I've ever fucking met," he says.
You offered no response, staring up at the raven in silent defiance. "It wasn't just drunken talk when I said I wanted you, Y/n. And I don't just mean sexuallyâthough you're right, I want to fuck you, badly. But I want all of you. The smart mouth, the defiance." He leaned in, his lips hovering over yours. "I don't give a fuck about your boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend," you whispered, the admission slipping out. You didn't regret it. Not now at least. Something told you would when you sobered up more. "Even better," the raven murmured, immediately closing the final gap. His lips crushed against yours; no Joon to interrupt this time around. You didn't pull away; instead, your mouth moved urgently with his, tasting the alcohol lingering on his tongue.
Yoongi released your wrists. Instead of using your hands to push him away, you wrapped one arm around his shoulder, the other hand seizing his chains to pull him deeper into the kiss. He hooked your legs, wrapping them around his waist.
You and Yoongi were both lost in the moment, not noticing as a homeless man approached the both of you. âSpare some change?â The man speaks, oblivious to the fact that the two of you were in a full makeout session. You jump at the sound of his voice, breaking away from Yoongi.
Yoongi looked annoyed at the second interruption, eyes flicking towards the man. Once the man got sight of Yoongi, he took a step back with his hands in the air. âS-sorry⊠Iâm sorry.â He stumbles back before quickly turning to run away. You sit up from the hood of the car, clearing your throat. âMaybe we should go, itâs getting late and I do have to be at work tomorrow.â You remind the raven.
Yoongi nodded, stepping back so you could slide off the car hood. He walked to the passenger side and opened the doorâthe first time he was a gentleman and actually held the door open for you tonight. Perhaps chivalry isnât dead.
You offered a small smile instead of a verbal thanks as you climbed in. Yoongi closed your door, then rounded the car and got behind the wheel. You bit your lip, consumed by uncertainty of your decision tonight. Should you feel ashamed of your actions? Every choice since agreeing to this party had been in poor taste; actually attending the party was first on the list.
Yet, a hidden thrill sparked deep in your chest. Kissing Yoongi was wildly out of character. If you could tell Mina, she'd likely be proud you finally broke free of your "good girl" box. The only problem was that it had to be with a criminal like Yoongi, which she wouldnât approve of.
Hopefully by tomorrow, your sanity will return. The bargain was fulfilled. He saved you, you showed up. You owed him nothing now, and he had no reason to pursue you. His apparent declaration of wanting you was just drunken manipulation. Yoongi was slick with his tongue, you had to give him that; it played perfectly to your current state of mind.
You hoped heâd find another girl quickly. That was the only option, because you were already starting to realize that no matter how much Yoongi rubbed you the wrong way, if he kept coming around, you might have to tell Sana she was right.
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi Ă f.reader.
word count: 6k
chapter playlist: sdl - agust d, gosh she looks so pretty - nato kitch
masterlist directory
The thought of staying in bed all day wasn't a wish; it was a desperate necessity, thanks to the pounding headache that seemed determined to split your skull. Calling off work was impossible thoughâyou couldn't risk the lost wages, especially with Mr. Kim ready to dock your pay at any given chance. Curled under the covers, your fingers traced your lips, a gesture that immediately triggered the one memory your mind refused to erase; the kiss. Not just a kiss, but a full-blown makeout session with Yoongi.
Sure, every decision made last night was fueled by booze, but as the effects wore off, the regret was suspiciously absent. In fact, Jungkookâs two-day ghosting made your choices feel almost justified. You grabbed your phone, your eyes scanning immediately for his name, only to be met with zero notifications. A frustrated sigh escaped as you hurled the device back onto the wood of the nightstand.
His radio silence was genuinely baffling. While you admittedly hadn't taken his rejection well, two days of absolutely no contact was excessive. Was he waiting for you to reach out? He should know by nowâthanks to your longtime historyâthat you don't offer apologies when you've done no wrong. Why should you grovel? He was the one who rejected you, not the other way around.
Agreeing with Mina was painful, yet undeniable. Three months trapped in dating limboâno title, no intimacyâand the question loomed so heavily: What the hell was he waiting for? The feeling that he still saw you only as his best friend felt increasingly real. It fed the deeper fear that his feelings were born from pity, surfacing when you were at your lowest point, spiraling into drinking and partying as you awaited the inevitable expulsion from college due to your parents' death.
The sudden loss sent your world spinning, triggering a steep, uncontrolled decline in every aspect of your life; for months, it was solely the constant support of Jungkook and Mina that prevented you from sinking entirely beneath the waves of a deep depression. That fragile lifeline now feels strained, making you dread the possibility that maybe Jungkookâs sympathy has reached its limit. You didnât blame him. Youâd be tired of your desperation too.
Rolling onto your back, you fix your gaze on the ceiling, finding no escape as your increasingly chaotic thoughts become unbearable; your heart felt like a sinking stone, and all you could manage was another rattling sigh to release the crushing pressure.
The thought was frustrating, but persistent; maybe it was time to bite the bullet, call him, and finally put your wounded ego aside. Even though his rejection had cut deep, your outburst had been unnecessarily angry. Perhaps if you could just swallow your pride and apologize, he might be willing to finally offer a full explanation of his side of things.
You stretched out your arm to retrieve your phone from the nightstand again, but as you unlocked the device, a sudden, abrupt knock on your front door startled you into a frozen silence. Quickly, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position on your mattress, your attention fixed on the living room, waiting to see if there would be a follow-up knock. Not a minute later a second rap confirmed the visitor.
Your mind immediately leaped to the possibility that it was Jungkook. The sound was notably too tame and controlledâcertainly not Minaâs usual frantic banging, and you were sure she would have already resorted to calling your phone, yelling at you to open up.
Your blanket was tossed aside as you eagerly sprang out of bed, your feet pounding toward the front door. You didn't waste time with the peephole, throwing the door open with a joyful smile, certain who you would see. "Jungkookâ" You stopped dead. The boyish, bunny grin you expected was replaced by Yoongiâs face instead. "Y-Yoongi?"
A smirk crossed the raven's face as he saw you, then he simply moved around you, gliding into your apartment without a word of your approval. âSo this is your humble abode, huh?â He took his time looking around, evaluating every corner of your small space. âCute.â He commented. You closed the door, narrowing your eyes at him for the rude entrance. âWhat the hell are you doing here?â you demanded.
âI was in the neighborhood. Thought I might come visit.â
It was an obvious lie. What business did he have in your neighborhood anyway? Annoyed by his presence, you crossed your arms. "How did you even find my apartment?" you asked, though the certainty of how made the question feel pointless.
"Asking questions you already know the answer to, sweetheart?" He raised a mocking brow. "You answered the door pretty quickly. Were you expecting someone else?" He gestured toward the counter, where Jungkook's bouquet stood, its blossoms beginning to wilt and fade.
"Donât worry about it." You moved swiftly around the counter, seized the flowers, and with a press of the foot pedal, discarded them into the trash can."Now, tell me what you're really doing here.â You slammed the empty vase onto the counter. âAnd spare me the 'I was in the neighborhood' excuse." you pressed, urging the raven to reveal his true purpose. The embarrassment from last night was a hot sting, his kiss still fresh in your mind. It was clear how dumb you had been to believe that simply keeping your promise to attend his kickback would be the last you saw of him.
Yoongi held his smirk, clearly entertained by your annoyed attitude. "Is this any way to talk to the guy who just had his tongue down your throat last night?" he taunted, his tongue grazing his bottom lip as his gaze dropped to your sleepwear; an oversized black t-shirt with Deftones' Around The Fur album cover on it. It was Jungkook's shirt.
"Yoongi," you warned, glaring disapprovingly at the raven.
He chuckled, throwing his hands up in surrender.
"Fine, fine." He finally got to the point. "The Daegu fair is in town, and we're going." He offered no room to decline.
"Um, are you crazy?" you asked. The raven gave you a look that instantly made you retract the question. You knew the answer. "Scratch that-l know you are," you amended. "I can't just go to the fair with you. I have work, remember?â
The raven simply nodded. âYeah, but youâre not going.â
You let out a short scoff. âI think my boss would disagree with you on that. I canât miss a shift; I need the money if I wanna keep paying for my luxurious apartment,â you stated, dripping sarcasm into the word âluxuriousâ.
Yoongi replied with a dismissive shrug. âDonât stress about that, princess. Iâll deal with your boss after the fact,â he assured you.
You subconsciously pull your bottom lip between your teeth. While you were secretly delighted to skip work due to your headache, you weren't exactly keen on replacing it with hanging out with Yoongi. Both options sounded equally headache-inducing, but if you had to pick the lesser of two evils, it was definitely not having to work for 8 hours straight at Makoto right now. Even if Yoongi vexed you.
You did enjoy going to the Daegu fair in your teenage years with Jungkook and Mina. The attendance would at least give you a nostalgic feeling. âFine,â you conceded. âBut I need to change first.â
âBy all means, sweetheart. Iâll just wait out hereâunless you need help changing.â He grinned wider, plopping down on your couch, his arms spread across the headrest. âOnly in your wildest dreams,â you retorted, grimacing as you rolled your eyes.
âSweetheart, my wildest dreams involve a lot more than just helping you change.â
You don't even bother responding to the raven's perversion, simply spinning around to head for your bedroom. You slammed the sliding door shut before letting out an exasperated, shuddering sigh. Did you really just agree to go out with Yoongi again? Last night's fiasco was a disaster; you couldn't imagine what today would be like. It seemed like anything that involved Yoongi always turned to shit for you. Your lunch date with Mina, the attack during your delivery in Gongdan, that ridiculous "kickbackâ. Could a simple thing like the fair possibly go wrong too?
Deciding not to dwell on it, you moved to your wardrobe, pulling open the doors and pushing clothes aside to find something to wear. Should you once again tone down your look, as you did last night? It didn't seem like the tracksuit had deterred the raven's unwanted gaze or touches regardless, nor had it kept his brother or Taehyung away. You definitely didn't want to look like you were going for a jog at the fair.
You finally grabbed a yellow mini sundress. It was summer, and unlike last night, it would be significantly warmer in the afternoon. You slipped out of Jungkook's t-shirt and into the dress. At least it didn't show any cleavage, you acknowledged, certain that if it did, you wouldn't be able to avoid his wandering eyes.
You walk into your bathroom, switching on the light. You look in the mirror, examining yourself. You don't bother with makeup or any extra workâit's Yoongi, for god's sake. You don't want to give him any ideas by going the extra mile. The dress is enough. You head back into your bedroom, grabbing your phone off the nightstand and shoving it into your purse.
As you exited the bedroom, you stopped short. Yoongi was no longer on the couch; he was standing, holding the framed photograph that belonged next to the TV. Hearing the sliding door, he glanced back at you. "These your parents?" he asked, referring to the people in the picture. You strode over, yanking the frame from his grasp. "Yeah," you simply said, setting it back on the stand.
Talking about your parents was a sore spot for you, the thought of them too sad. "You look a lot like your mom," he observed abruptly, and the comment caught you off guard. You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat. "Uh... t-thanks..."
âYou ready to go?â The raven gave you a once-over, his pleased look confirming he liked the dress. You simply nodded. âLetâs get this over with,â you said, heavy with dread. Stepping out of your apartment, you reached for your key to lock up. The sound of a neighboring door opening made you and Yoongi turn, bringing you face-to-face with Hoseok. Hoseok froze instantly when he saw the raven. âYoongiâŠâ he trailed off, his entire body stiffening.
âHoseok.â he replies, his voice stale and bitter. The two don't speak, just stare each other down. Hoseok's gaze was fearful, while Yoongi's was cold, his dark eyes piercing the man. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You felt the hatred radiating off both men. âYoongi⊠we should go.â You gently tug on the sleeve of the ravenâs black jacket, needing to escape this rivalry. Yoongi nods. âAlright.â He agrees immediately, giving in to you. âSee ya âround, Hobi.â
You and the raven-haired man walk down the hall, leaving Hoseok where he stood. You spare a final glance, just in time to see the brunet exhale a long, shaking breath. Yoongi's presence alone made him quake. What deep history was between these two? Yoongi had said Hoseok was once like a brother, his right hand man before Joon, until Hoseok tried to get him sent to prison. But why did Hoseok turn on him, and what did Yoongi do to incite that level of fear? Yoongi had only hinted that he didnât let the betrayal go unpunished.
Making it outside, your eyes were immediately drawn to a new car Yoongi was driving. A sleek, red sports car with the roof down. It was pure luxury, a world away from the car you used to driveâan old, hand-me-down Nissan sedan that had been your fatherâs until it permanently broke down, leaving you without the means to get it fixed.
âSomething wrong with your old car?â you asked, looking back at him.
He offered a subtle shake of his head. âNah, I just wanted to ride in style today.â A smirk played on his lips as he rounded the car and held the passenger door open for you. Once you were seated, the raven-haired man shut the door with a soft click. He then slid into the driver's seat, started the engine, and pulled away, heading for Buk-gu, the usual location of the fair. The ride was an estimated thirty-four minutes. That felt like a short car ride with someone you'd actually want to be withâbut an agonizingly long trip you desperately wanted over while sitting beside Yoongi.
You let the silence hang heavy between you and the raven-haired man, simply allowing the wind to rush past your face. Yoongi stole a look at youâyour arm propped against the door, your hand resting beneath your chin as you gazed at the passing surroundings. "Can I ask you something?" He finally breaks the silence. You simply waited for him to get on with it, locking eyes with him instead of replying.
"How come you're still a virgin?"
You immediately furrowed your brows. "Excuse me?"
"How come you've never fucked?" He repeated the question, making it sound even more vile. âYouâre dating someone, right? So how come heâs never fucked you?â
With a disgusted scoff, you shot him a glare. Of all the conversation starters he could have chosen, why was your virginity the topic? "We are not having this conversation. It's none of your business." You snapped, once again looking away from him, your cheeks hot with embarrassment. The raven-haired man didn't stop, though. âYou donât wanna feel a hard dick going in and out of that wet, tight, little pussyââ
âI will tuck and roll out of this car right now if you donât shut the fuck up!â You cut him short, your hand hovering over the door handle, ready to bolt.
He chuckled at your frantic reaction, but to your relief, he stopped talking. âGod, youâre such a pig,â you murmured under your breath.
"I think deep down you like that about me though," he said, throwing you a look, his grin conceited.
"I think deep down you're delusional. If you want a girl obsessed with you and your perversions, maybe you should work things out with Sana." You sneered.
The raven quirked a brow. "There's nothing to 'work out' with Sana. We never had anything. I fucked her once and she thought we were gonna be together. I guess that's what good dick does." He smirked. âIf you say so.â You rolled your eyes and reached for the radio, turning it on. You didn't bother searching for a station, just let the first thing that played drown out the rest of the silence.
âSomebody does love, but Iâm thinking âbout you. Somebody does love.â
You were surprised to find you actually liked the song that was playing, and you began to sing the lyrics quietly yourself, staring back out into the passing scenery. Yoongi gazed over at you. âYou like this song?â he asked, amusement flickering across his face.
âMaybe I do,â You shot him a look. âGot a problem with it?â
âNot at all, sweetheart.â He reached over and cranked up the volume on the radio, the base vibrating off of your seat.
âSomebody does love, but I'm thinking 'bout you, you oh, I'm thinking 'bout you.â
Not at all what you were expecting, the raven begins to rap the lyrics, word for word, completely catching you off guard. âOh? You like this song?â You echoed his question, a small smile tugging at your lips to see him flow so effortlessly to a song about love. You were half expecting him to melt, considering he was the devil and all. What would he know about love? According to Sana he doesnât do feelings, or relationships.
âNever said I didnât,â he laughed. âIâm just intrigued that you like it too. Plus, Iâve been told before that I look like the rapper in this song.â
You stared at him briefly, before shaking your head. âIâm not seeing the resemblance.â you stated, bursting his bubble. Yoongi merely shrugged. âTrue. I look better.â He flashed his addicting gummy smile your way. You bit the inside of your cheek, turning away to hide your own grin.
It amazed you how utterly self-absorbed Yoongi could be, but you expected as much. There was no denying he was handsome; he had probably never been turned down by a woman in his life. Perhaps thatâs exactly why he was so attracted to you.
You acknowledged his attractiveness, but you refused to give into his bad boy lifestyle and oozing charm like most girls did. Despite your intoxication clouding your judgment last night, you had no intention of giving him further satisfaction. But this was exactly the game Yoongi enjoyed. Who could resist a woman who played hard to get? He intended to shatter that resistance today.
The two of you continued to sing along to the song, with you handling the chorus and Yoongi delivering the rap verses. You enjoyed this version of Yoongi, it was far more tolerable than the pervert who insisted on probing your sex life. This shared moment made the rest of the car ride more bearableâ just slightly though.
Yoongi found a parking spot quickly, a feat considering the lot was packedâit seemed the entire population of Daegu was here. Families, couples, and friends streamed toward the fair entrance. You and Yoongi opened your doors in sync and stepped out. You gazed ahead at the fairgrounds, a slight smile touching your lips. You hadn't been to the Daegu fair since high school, and the sight instantly triggered a wave of memories.
You and the raven-haired man approached the fair, heading for the entrance booth where wristbands were sold. The line stretched far back, and you predicted youâd be waiting for at least an hour. You immediately doubted you had the patienceâor mental capacityâto stand in that queue for so long.
As if reading your mind, the raven didn't hesitateâhe cut the line and darted directly to the booth. You heard the sound of disapproving voices ripple as you passed, followed by someone shouting, âHey, what the fuck are you doing?â The voice was quickly shushed by their companion. âThatâs the Daegu Devil. Donât let him hear you.â
The crowd immediately fell silent, now letting you both pass by without a single complaint. You reached the front booth, where a couple quickly stepped back to let you in. You looked back at the young pair, offering a word of thanksâeven though you knew they probably didn't want to hear it. You didnât blame them; you wouldnât want some lady who just cut the line with an infamous delinquent speaking to you either.
Yoongi pulled a wad of cash, bound together by a rubber band, from his pocket. Stunned, you watched him count it; the enormous stack easily surpassed any of your bi-weekly earnings. He ripped away the band, and peeled off the necessary amount needed for the wristbands before handing it to the booth employee. The transaction was swift; the employee instantly returned two wristbands, which the raven took.
You both stepped out of line, making way for the couple you had cut in front of. Yoongi handed you your wristband. âHave you ever been here before?â he asked, his eyes briefly meeting yours as he fastened his own wristband. You nodded. âWhen I was in high school. Feels like such a lifetime ago.â
Stepping into the fairgrounds with the raven, you were greeted by a wave of smellsâ from the sweet scent of Hotteok to the fried aroma of So-tteok-so-tteok. It really refreshed your memory, and with that memory came the thought of Jungkook; you wished you could be attending the fair with him and not Yoongi right now.
âHave you ever been here?â you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going as you both walked through the fairgrounds. The raven nodded. âI used to come here with Joon and Hoseok.â The bitterness in his voice when he said Hoseok's name was unmistakable.
âWow, so you and Hoseok used to be really close back thenâŠâ
âYeah. We grew up together,â His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, annoyance etched on his features. âI met Joon in juvie, and when he got out we just all became close.â
It wasn't surprising he met Joon in juvie. Nam-Joonâs abrasive nature suggested he'd likely been in and out of trouble his entire life. âWe used to come to the fair to sell, never to play games. So, this is a first time for me not being here for business.â He admitted.
âIâm surprised Hoseok used to be a drug dealer. I wouldnât have pegged him as that type at all.â
Hoseok was always just the goofy neighbor across the hall. He was sweet and funny. When you first moved in, he had been kind enough to help you move boxes since Jungkook was at work and Mina proved useless. âThatâs because he wasnât the type,â the raven ran his fingers through his hair. âHoseok was always too nice, too scared. He was never meant for this life. He proved that well.â
Yoongiâs jaw clenched, then slowly unclenched. The raven was skilled at hiding human emotion, but you could tell that deep down, the fallout with Hoseok genuinely hurt him. They were childhood friends, and you knew firsthand how much it stung to lose a childhood best friend. Of course, your break with Jungkook in high school wasn't as severe, and you certainly weren't terrified of him or calling him the devil.
You needed to change the topic. Scanning the gaming booths for something to play, you pointed toward the one labeled âHoop Shootâ. âHey, letâs play that,â you suggested to the raven. Yoongi looked at the booth, raising a brow before meeting your gaze. "Basketball? Do you even know how to play, sweetheart?" he smirked.
"Maybe I do. Do you?" you countered, squinting.
Now both his eyebrows rose. "Are you kidding me? I'II destroy you at basketball, princess. I've never lost a game"
You shrugged, walking backward toward the booth while meeting the raven's eyes. âThen put your money where your mouth is.â
The raven smiled, following you over. The carnie at the booth grinned as you approached, launching into his spiel. âWelcome over, folks! Shoot all eight balls into the hoop and win a prize!â He swept his arm around, showing off all the cute stuffies. You had already spotted the one you wanted; a My Melody plush wearing a pink bear suit. âIf you miss one, then youâre out immediately.â The carnie states.
"Go first," the raven said, stepping aside to let you take your turn. "I promise not to laugh if you suck," he remarked, crossing his arms. You playfully flipped him off, and he responded with a laugh.
The carnie set the balls on the counter. "Good luck!" he said. You grabbed your first ball, took a step back, and settled into a shooter's stance.
"Nice form," Yoongi complimented. "Oh, and your stance is good too," he added, biting his bottom lip.
You glared at him. âDonât try to distract me just because you know youâre gonna lose.â
Yoongi instantly put his hands up, staying silent while you took your first shot.
You returned to your stance, shooting the ball toward the hoop. The ball circled the rim, and just as you thought it would drop, it fell to the ground. "Damn it!" You stomped, biting the inside of your cheek in frustration.
"Aw, good try." The carnie said.
Yoongi walked over. "Better luck next time, dollface." He gently patted your back before moving you to the side.
The carnie reset the balls for Yoongi. The raven grabbed his first ball, took a step back, and the carnie repeated, "Good luck!"
"I don't need luck," Yoongi countered.
'What a cocky little shitâ, you thought.
He got into his stance, raising his arms and shooting the ball toward the basket. Unlike your attempt, Yoongi's made it in with a swish. "Ooooh!" He smiled, clapping his hands. "Seven to go," he said, glancing at you.
He grabbed his second ball, shot again, and scored. The raven looked over at you once again, wiggling his brows and holding up six fingers. You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips.
As Yoongi grabbed the third ball and continued to play, you couldnât help but watch himânot his technique, but him. His happy, childish grin humanized him. You were seeing a side he seemed to hide to maintain his image, but right now he was truly himself, and it was crazy to admit, but you were intensely attracted to it.
As your eyes examined the raven, it wasnât just his playful spirit that was attracting youâwhen you truly looked at him, he was incredibly alluring. His shoulder-length dark hair was tucked behind one ear, showing off his double pierced hoops. He wore a black jacket over a white shirt, a heavy Cuban link chain around his neck, and dark jeans with a chain attached to the belt loops. But it was his scent that lured you in the most; a sharp, citrusy smell.
Yoongi shot his last ball, making the winning hoop.
The carnie rang a bell, yelling "Winner!" You snapped out of your trance, watching the raven dust off his shoulders as though the challenge was nothing. "Pick a prize, any prize," the carnie offered.
Yoongi scanned the shelf. "That pink one right there," he requested. The carnie retrieved the exact My Melody plush you'd wanted and handed it to Yoongi.
"Here," he said, holding it out. You looked up from the plush to meet his eyes. "I saw you looking at it, so I won it for you"
Smiling, you accepted the plush. "Thank you..."
Yoongi smirked. "No problem," he said, tucking his hands in his jacket pockets. "You suck at basketball, though," he playfully remarked, taking a step back. âLike, youâre really awful.â
"Screw you.â You rolled your eyes.
"Please do." His tongue ran over his bottom lip.
"Don't be gross," you said, gently pushing his chest.
He laughed. "C'mon, I got a sweet tooth for cotton candy," he added, showing his gummy smile. The raven turns on his heels, walking ahead to go find the cotton candy stand. You stood back for a moment, looking down at the plush in your hands. Your stomach started to churnânot with nausea, but with that fluttery feeling youâd only ever experienced with Jungkook. Now, it was Yoongiâthe bad, drug-dealing, gangster Yoongiâwho was giving you butterflies.
You mustâve been out of your mind.
âYou cominâ or what?â He asks, noticing you werenât behind him. You look up, nodding quickly. âSorry, coming!â You run after him.
"So, I'll admit, you're pretty good at basketball," you informed the raven, plucking off a piece of the blueberry cotton candy you shared. "Did you play in high school?" You asked, popping the piece into your mouth.
Yoongi nodded, picking a piece off for himself. "I did for a bit my freshman year, but I dropped out of school later on."
"You never thought of trying to pursue a career out of it?"
Yoongi scrunched his eyebrows. "What famous NBA players do you know that are five-eight, sweetheart?"
You couldn't answer that because, truth be told, you knew nothing about the NBA in the slightest. "'Iâll answer that question for you; none," he said, chewing the candy.
You shrugged. "You could be the first short basketball player to ever play in the NBA.â You stated.
Yoongi laughed, shaking his head. "I appreciate your faith in my basketball skills, princess. Sometimes me and Joon ball."
"Is he any good?"
"No," The raven laughed. "He's worse than you." He remarked, taking a large bite of the cotton candy. You squinted and grabbed his hand, using it to smash the sweet fluff straight into his face. The surprise made him drop the rest of the candy.You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh. Blue pieces of cotton stuck to his face as he picked them off. "You better start running."
You heeded his warning, pressing your plushy against your chest as you made a break for it. You zipped past people, running to who knew where. It didn't take long for the raven to be on your tail; you could hear the clanking of the chain on his pants. "Excuse me, sorry!" you laughed as you brushed by, ignoring the glares from families you past by.
You didn't make it too far before Yoongi's arms wrapped around you, stopping your run. You screeched in surprise, failing to twist out of his grasp. "You think you're funny, huh?" he said, his hands gripping your waist as he flipped you around to face him. You were both a laughing mess. "You have a little something right here," you teased, and then subconsciously raised your hand to pick off the sticky blue candy.
As you did this, you realized how close and personal you and Yoongi were. His hands were still on your waist, one of yours held the plush, and the other now rested on his chest. You were lost in his eyes-his usually dark, cold eyes now didn't seem so dark.
Yoongi inched closer, his lips almost touching yours before you quickly turned your head, faking a cough. You stepped back from his hold, searching desperately for an escape from the awkward moment.
You turned to the Ferris wheel, pointing toward it. âHope youâre not afraid of heights,â you said, forcing an uncomfortable laugh. You quickly scrambled toward the ride, your back to him, mentally cursing yourself. What were you thinking? You were about to kiss him again? There was no doubt; you had completely lost your mind.
You approached the carnie, and she smiled. "One or two?" She asked. You wanted to say one just to avoid the raven, but you said two, unwilling to make the avoidance obvious. The carnie let you both pass to pick a seat. You chose a yellow cart, strapping yourself in; Yoongi did the same. The carnie closed the bar, secured it, and after a few others boarded, the ride finally started, lifting you into the air.
Yoongi didn't say anything the whole time, which was surprising, considering how much he usually talks.
You looked over to see him staring off into space, his lips caught between his teeth. His gears were turning like crazy, and you knew because yours were, too. Any other time, you would have loved a silent Yoongi, but right now, you wished he would talk to ease the tension.
"Can I ask you something?" You finally broke the silence.
Yoongi looked over at you. "No, I'm not still a virgin," he said bluntly.
You rolled your eyes. "Seriously. Can I ask you a question?" You repeated.
He nodded, awaiting your question. "Is this how you pictured your life?"
The raven tilted his head, confusion etched on his face. You elaborated: "What you do for a living, what people say you've done. Did you ever picture this for yourself?"
The question was deep for Yoongi, one no woman had ever asked him before. "Of course it's not," he answered. "No kid grows up and says, 'I wanna be a criminal when I grow upâ. It's just the cards I was dealt. My parents died when I was young, I went into survival mode. I had to fend for myself at eleven."
"You didn't have any support from friends or other family?"
Yoongi scoffed. "I don't have other family members. All I have is Jongup, and I think you've seen for yourself that our relationship is strained," he said. "As for friends, I mean, I had Hobi and Joon in my corner. But friends can only do so much. It didn't change that I still felt alone and in survival mode,"
That was a sentiment you understood well. When your parents died, of course you had Mina and Jungkook, but their support never erased the pain of your loss. Even now, the subject was touchy. Your parents had essentially financed your entire life, and their passing left you entirely on your own. While you inherited a small sum, it wasn't nearly enough for college tuition. You used the money instead to secure your apartment, then scrambled for work, eventually landing at Makoto, where you now make minimum wage and canât even afford a car.
"When I started this shit, I never imagined how far along it would get," he confessed. "I was just a kid wanting a fast way to make money, but when I touched my first stack, I needed more. I wanna be one of the greats, like Pablo Escobar. Imagine itâthe first Korean drug lord." He smirked.
It amazed you how passionate he was about being a drug dealer; to you, it sounded like pure greed and a dangerous game to play. Pablo Escobar was literally gunned down by police. Did Yoongi really want that fate?
"How about you?" he continued. "Is this how you pictured yours?"
You shook your head. âNot at all. I pictured myself in healthcare like my mom. I went to college for itâa short-lived experience because my parents died, and they were paying my tuition. After their deaths, I was kicked out for failure to pay. I kind of went down a black hole after that,â you sighed. âIâm watching everyone close to me excelâreal careers, nice apartments, carsâand then thereâs me; working in a ramen shop, living in an iffy apartment, and taking the bus everywhere.â
You were surprised at yourself for spilling your guts out to Yoongi; you barely expressed these feelings to Jungkook or Mina. Perhaps it was because you always knew they couldn't relate; Jungkook had his tattooing career, and Mina was a nurse. Yoongi, however, understood your struggle because he'd lived it. The only difference was that he channeled that experience into somethingâalbeit destructiveâthat at least allowed him to afford his luxuries.
"You deserve better, " Yoongi said, and your eyes met his. "Someone with a soul as beautiful as yours should have everything this world has to offer."
There it is again; the flutters. Your cheeks began to heat up, and you quickly looked away from the raven. You heard him let out a small laugh at your visible fluster.
âI didnât think it was possible,â You thought. âFor my heart to beat this fast for a man other than my first love...â
Yoongi's car pulled up to your apartment. "I had a good time, the raven said, looking over at you. You nodded, a genuine smile spreading across your face. "I did too-surprisingly." You admitted.
You meant it. At the start, you hadn't wanted to be anywhere near him, but by the end, you had learned a lot more about Yoongi and seen a gentler side. "See, I'm not as bad as the conspiracy theorists make me out to be," he smirked.
You laughed. "I guess not. I'll see you around." You reached for the door handle, but he stopped you. "How about tomorrow night?" he asked. You raised a brow. "Eager, are we?"
"Guess I just can't get enough of seeing your face," he replied.
You looked down at your Melody plush, hiding your fluster once again. "Um, what do you have in mind?" you asked quickly, trying to move the conversation along.
"I'm having another kickback."
You shot your head up, ready to protest, given how the last one ended, but the raven was already ahead of you. "It's not gonna be like last time. This time it's genuinely just gonna be me, Joon, a few of my guys, and whatever girl Joon's fucking that day. It'll be tame."
You sighed, thinking it over for a moment. "Fine. I'II be there."
The raven grinned, nodding his head. "That's what I like to hear. I'll pick you up tomorrow."
"After I'm off work. I'm not going anywhere smelling like ramen."
"Why? It's a good smell on you," he joked.
You glared at him. "Screw you."
"Please do," he replied with a drawn-out moan.
You rolled your eyes, pulled open the door, and stepped out of the car. "See you tomorrow, perv," you retorted, shutting the door with a soft click. You walk up the stairs to your apartment building, digging in your purse for your key as you enter. As you approach near your door, you see a shaggy-haired man placing flowers in front of your doorstep.
âJungkook?â
He spun around to face you, a smile forming his lips as his eyes fell on you. âYou always seem to catch me at the wrong time.â The brunet says.
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 4.2K.
masterlist directory
You tossed and turned in your bed as the obnoxious sound of banging carries through your apartment. You snatch your pillow from under your head, placing it over your ears in hopes to drown out the sound. Sadly, it helped very little. âUgh!â You groan, tossing the pillow to the floor in frustration. âGO THE FUCK AWAY!â You shout. The banging abruptly stops, and you sigh in contentment.Â
Just as you were prepared to close your eyes again, your phone started to ring. You let out a loud whine, deciding to give up on slumber at this point. Looks like resting wasnât in your favor. You grab your phone from your nightstand, the screen flashing your best friend, Minaâs, contact name. You accept the call, only to be ear assaulted by her shouting from the other side. âOPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!âÂ
You pull the phone from your ear, cringing as though she had burst your eardrums. You donât even dignify her with a response before you end the call. Of course Mina would be the one banging on your door like sheâs being chased by a masked killer.Â
You swing your legs over your mattress, sliding on your house slippers that you kept on standby beside your bed. Purposely procrastinating, you take your delicate time, trying to stretch away your exhaustion. You saunter towards your living room, making no effort to rush and open the door. Mina begins to impatiently bang on the door again. âIâm coming! Geez!â You unlock your door, pulling it open to expose your displeased friend. âTook you long enough.â She simply walks past you, entering your abode without your permission.Â
You shut your door, looking back at Mina as she takes a seat at your dining table. âWhat was so important that you had to drive to my place and bang on my door like a lunatic?â You questioned the blonde. She squints her eyes, her mouth dropping in disbelief. âDid you forget we were supposed to go out for lunch today?â She crosses her arms.Â
âOf course I didnât forget,â you say, taking a seat in the chair across from her. âI thought we were doing that at like 2:00?âÂ
Mina raises a brow at you. âUm⊠newsflash, itâs 1:50 right now.â Â
Your eyes widened. There was no way it was already the evening time. You felt like you had just dozed off in bed not too long ago. You check for the time on your microwave for clarity, pouting when you realize she wasnât telling a story. âFuckâŠâ you rub your cheeks with the palm of your hands. âIâm so sorry. I canât believe I overslept.âÂ
âItâs fine,â she shrugs. âItâs not too late to still go.âÂ
The two of you werenât going anywhere exotic for lunch. Just going out for ramen at Makoto. You worked there as a server, so you got a discount on food. Why not take the advantage? Especially since you didnât make enough money to eat anywhere else, and youâd hate for Mina to have to pay for both of your meals. âWhat has you so tired anyway?â She asks, pretending like she couldnât get a clue. âLike you donât know.â You roll your eyes.Â
âOoooh,â she smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. âDid you finally give Kookie the cookie?âÂ
You giggled, shaking your head. You wished thatâs how the night went. Although, you still enjoyed yourself because any moment spent with Jungkook was still time well spent. âNo, not yet. He hasnât pursued anything, so I donât think heâs ready.â You rest your chin into the palm of your hand. âWhat the hell is he waiting for? Your wedding day?â She turns up her nose.Â
âI think heâs waiting until we make our relationship official. Weâre still just at the talking stage.âÂ
Youâve known Jungkook since high school. He started off as your best friend, next to Mina. He was always there for you, lending you a shoulder to cry on when you were going through a breakup, or listening to you vent. Youâve had feelings for him for years, and it almost felt like a daydream when you both came clean three months ago; now you were trying to see where things go, and so far itâs been everything youâve hoped for. Except for the lack of sex, which surprises you to care so much about considering youâve never had sex with anyone before. Yet, youâve craved it so much recently.Â
âWell, he better make things official soon because there is nothing better than sex.â she bit down on her bottom lip, practically drooling as she reminisced about her sexual conquests with her boyfriend, Jin. âYeah, I bet.â You chuckle. âDonât get any slob on my table, whore.â You stand up from your seat, figuring that youâve wasted enough of your lunch time sleeping as it is. You didnât want to waste anymore of it by gossiping about sex.Â
You head back to your bedroom, pulling open your wardrobe as you search for something to throw on. Mina follows behind you, plopping down in your bed with a light bounce. âSo, is Kookie coming over again tonight?â
âProbably not,â you flip through your clothes like a photo album, taking hangers from the bars to see what looked good on you. âI have work tomorrow, and I cannot risk waking up late again.âÂ
You didnât have the luxury of being late for work like most folks did. It was hard enough for you to find good paying work since you didnât finish nursing school like Mina. You want to go back, but you didnât have the funds to pay for college, and your apartment at the same time. You only made like $15/hr working at Makoto, and your checks from that went to your rent, and other bills. You couldnât even afford a car. You had to take the bus to travel.Â
You finalize your outfit choice, going with a mini floral print spaghetti strap dress. âHowâre things going with Jin?â You query, undressing yourself before you slip on the red dress. âWeâre pretty good, except I feel like heâs hiding something from me. Heâs been really anxious lately, but when I ask him about it he says heâs fine,â she shrugs. âIâm trying not to overthink it. Maybe he has a lot on his plate with work and everything. He hasnât been making any sales in real estate, and is afraid he might be jobless soon.âÂ
âYikes,â you walk into your bathroom to brush your teeth. âThat must be tough on him.â You grab your toothbrush from its holder, taking the tube of toothpaste and squeezing it onto the bristles. âYeah.â She sighs. You felt for your best friend. Nothing sucks more than watching your significant other go through a rough time, but for Mina it was much worse because she absolutely loved and adored Jin.Â
You spit and rinsed in the sink, washing your toothbrush off before placing it back in the holder. While the water was still running, you took the opportunity to splash your face with the cooling liquid, making sure to clean away the crust from your eyes. Once you turn off the faucet, you grab a towel from the rack and dry your wet face.Â
âAre you done yet? No need to get all fancy for some ramen.â Mina complained, which prompted you to roll your eyes. You werenât even taking that long. You usually take a considerable amount of time getting ready on a regular day. Jungkook could definitely attest to that, seeing as heâs always whining about you âtaking 40 hours to get readyâ.Â
You grab your white air forces, and a pair of socks from your closet, slipping them on. âOkay, Iâm ready to go.âÂ
âFinally.â She jumps up from your mattress. âIâm literally starving. I felt like I could pass out from hunger any second now.âÂ
âOh, donât be so dramatic.â You grab your purse from your wardrobe, and your cellphone from the nightstand before the two of you make your way back into the living room. You grab your unit keys from the hook by your front door, the two of you heading out. As you were locking the door, your neighbor Hoseok exits out of his apartment. âLadies,â He smiles, locking his door as well. âGrand rising.âÂ
âOh, hey, Hoseok. Grand rising to you too,â You return back the smile. âWhereâre you headed to today?â You ask, dropping your key into your purse. âJust going to check the mail,â He laughs. âHow about you, lovelies?âÂ
âWeâre heading to Makoto for lunch.âÂ
Hoseok hums lightly, nodding his head. âMmm, I love Makoto. Bring me back some rice cakes?âÂ
âOf course.â You giggle.Â
âYouâre a real one.â He lightly pats your shoulder before going on his way. Once he was far enough away, Mina spoke up. âHeâs such a weirdo.â She snarls, shaking her head as she watches Hoseok walk down the hall. You shrug. âI think heâs eccentric, but in a good way.â  Â
âWhatever you say. I think he watches you through his peephole when youâre coming or going.â She jokes. âYouâre such a bitch.â You chuckle, nudging her with your elbow. As you and Mina walk to the exit of the building, your phone vibrates from the inside of your purse. You pull it out, peering at the contact name. âKookie cake đȘđ°â.Â
You smile upon seeing Jungkookâs contact name, answering quickly before it sends him to voicemail. âHey.â You greet him giddily. âHey, beautiful.â You could tell he was smiling on the other end. âWhatâre you up to?â You ask. Not that you needed to. You could hear the buzzing in the background, which tells you that heâs at work. Jungkook worked at a tattoo parlor as one of the main tattoo artists and piercers there. He usually doesnât have time to call you when heâs at work, being that heâs always so busy with clients.Â
âIâm at work,â he lets out a sigh. âOne of my clients doesnât come in until 3:30, so I took this time to hear your angelic voice.âÂ
You felt your cheeks heat up. Mina looked over at you, making kissy faces. You make it outside, the sun blazing down on you. It had to be about 80°C out today. âWell, Iâm glad you called. I wanted to tell you that you made me late for my lunch date with Mina today.â You approach the passenger side of Minaâs silver Chevy Cruze, waiting for her to unlock the door. âOh, youâre blaming me?â Jungkook laughs. âI seem to recall a certain someone begging for me to stay longer.â
âWow, expose me much?âÂ
Mina unlocks the car, and you pull open the door before climbing inside. She starts up the engine, looking over at you. âAlright, lovebirds. Talk to each other later, I want to play music.â You roll your eyes. She wouldnât be saying that if it was her on the phone talking to Jin. âI guess I have to get off the phone, Minaâs being a hater since sheâs not on the phone with her man.â
She throws a glare your way, childishly sticking her tongue out at you. âAlright, Angel. Call me later?âÂ
âYou know I will.â You say your goodbyes, then end the call. âThank you.â Mina turns on her radio, turning the volume to the highest it could go. The drive to Makoto wasnât a long drive. From your apartment it was about 8 minutes away. You usually had to take the bus there on scheduled work days as the walk took an hour or so. Â
âHope we find a table, it looks crowded today.â Mina makes the observation, seeing that the restaurantâs parking spaces were nearly full. âThey usually are on Friday.â You inform her. Youâve worked plenty of Fridays to know. Mina manages to locate a parking spot not too far from the entrance, and pulls into it. âI canât wait to stuff my face with dumplings.â Mina licked her lips like an animal deprived of food.Â
âTheir dumplings arenât that good.â You shake your head. Maybe you only felt that way because you worked here, and are constantly having Mr. Kim make you dumplings. After a while they started to make you sick. The bell rings as you two walk through the entrance. âHey, Jimin.â You greet your co-worker as heâs taking a customerâs order. âHey, Y/N. Are you here to help out today?â He peers over at you with a smile.Â
âAs if. Iâm going to enjoy my day off while I can,â you laugh. âAny tables left?â You ask, looking around. The restaurant was crowded just as Mina thought. âYeah, weâve got one more table left. Youâre lucky.â After he finishes up taking orders, he leads the way to an empty table. You and Mina take a seat, and Jimin flips to a blank page on his notepad. âIâm guessing you girls already know what you want?âÂ
Mina piped up immediately, already making up her mind before you got there. âDumplings.â Jimin scribbled down her order. âAnything to drink?â He asks. âWater will do.â Jimin nods, looking over at you. âLet me guess, dumplings for you too?âÂ
He chuckles, leaving your table to head back into the kitchen. âHe seriously wants to fuck you.â Mina blurted. Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head at the unexpected assumption. âDonât be ridiculous, he knows Iâm seeing Jungkook.âÂ
âWhatâs your point? Guys donât care if you have a man or not. If you gave him an opening heâd take it in a heartbeat. Trust me.â she whispers as she notices Jimin walking back over with your waters. He sat the glasses down on the table, then pulled out a pair of red chopsticks for the both of you to take. âYour food wonât take too long, Iâll be back with it shortly.â He smiles down at you before walking back to the kitchen. Mina stares at him as he walks away, a grin on her face. âIf I were you, Iâd fuck him.âÂ
âNot a chance. I care about Jungkook way too much.âÂ
âThatâs cute and all, but you need to burst that cherry at some point, and Jungkook is taking his sweet time.â She takes a sip of her water. You didnât see what was so wrong with that. Most women would find it attractive to know a guy is taking his time with sex. You did. It showed that he didnât just see you as a sexual object. As much as you wanted to lose your virginity, you respected him for wanting to wait. It honestly made you feel more important to him. You knew you werenât going to be Jungkookâs firstâyou werenât even going to be his second or third, but for some reason it brought you comfort knowing he valued you enough to take it slow unlike he did with other girls.Â
Jimin comes back to the table with your food in hand, handing Mina her dumplings, then sitting your ramen in front of you. âHere you go, ladies.âÂ
âThanks, Jiminie.â You grab your chopsticks, pulling them apart. âNo problem. Enjoyââ Jimin is cut off by the bell of the entrance door ringing. His expression suddenly looks distressed, and sickly. âUhâŠ. are you okay?â You ask, following his gaze towards the entrance. When you look to see what caught his attention, your eyes are fixed on a group of men standing there. You noticed that the entire restaurant seemed to quiet down upon these men's arrival, the atmosphere not as family friendly as before. Some of the people whisper amongst themselves, not daring to speak aloud.Â
âCan we get some fuckinâ service around here?â A taller guy within the group calls out, staring directly at Jimin. Jimin sighs, walking over to the flock of degenerates. You turn to look at Mina, her face was just as confused. âAm I missing something, who are these guys?â You whisper to her. âI donât know, but theyâre giving off some bad energy. Letâs hurry and eat so we can go.âÂ
âIâm sorry, but weâre out of tables right now. The wait time is going to be about 30 minutes.â Jimin explains to the men, but they clearly arenât having it. âWhy wait when we can find a table for ourselves right now?â The lanky man snarls, shoving Jimin out of the way as they stride through the restaurant anyway, laughing as Jimin seemed to freeze up instead of stopping them. The group of men are looking at tables, as though theyâre shopping for whoâs theyâre going to take. People turn their heads, trying to avoid eye contact as they do so.Â
They end up stopping in front of an elderly couple, and the taller one speaks again. He mustâve been the leader of the group, with the way he seemed to take charge. âYouâre being booted, oldheads. Give us your table.â The older woman looks towards her husband, awaiting for him to speak up. âYou should learn to respect your elders, young man. Weâre still eating here.âÂ
The group of men snickered, clearly not giving a damn about respect of any kind. âYou think we give a fuck? Get up, or weâll make you get up.â Your eyebrows furrow, the threat not sitting right with you. Mina notices your expression, knowing it all too well. âDonât you dare say anything. Stay out of it.â She warns, not wanting the attention of these men on you. One thing about you is that you didnât take too well to bullying. You were always standing up for people, and judging by the fear oozing off of everyone at the restaurant, youâre the only one that was willing to do it. Even Mina was scared.Â
The elderly couple ignored the group, clearly having no self awareness about the potential danger of the situation. The lanky guy shares a look with a raven haired man, almost like they were speaking to each other telepathically. âHandle it.â The raven commands the taller one. Those two simple words were all he needed to hear as he snatched the elderly woman from the table, prompting the older woman to scream out. âHey, what the hell do you think youâre doing?!â Her husband shouts. âI told you to get the fuck up or we were going to move you.âÂ
You noticed that everyone looked mortified by the ordeal, but still made no effort to help. Who were these guys that made everyone here too terrified to even speak? âLet go, youâre hurting me!â The older woman cries out. You couldnât take the sight anymore, you refused to cower and watch these men harass the elderly like everyone else; you slam your hand on your table, taking a stand. âWhy donât you assholes just leave them the fuck alone?â Your outburst catches the eyes of everyone in the restaurant, some shaking their head at you like you were a fool. Mina slides down in her seat, wishing she could hide from this confrontation.Â
âMind your fuckinâ business, bitch.â The lanky man spat, glaring at you like you were insane to be talking to them like that. âThis just became my business, so how about you just walk the fuck out of here and find a different place to eat.â You snap back at him, your glare just as vicious. You were probably making a mistake by opening your mouth, seeing as you were heavily outnumbered, but you couldnât turn back now. âHow about we take your table then?â Mina is quietly whispering âno, no, noâ, hoping that it didnât come down to that. You knew she was going to be unbelievably pissed at you if it did.Â
âTry and take my table.â You challenge him.Â
That was the straw that broke the camelâs back; the man shoves the older woman back into her seat before he stalks over to your table. The way heâs approaching you looks so threatening, and you feel that you have no choice but to defend yourself. You grab your chopsticks from the table, tightly gripping the wooden sticks in your hand as you brace yourself for a showdown. âJoon,â the lanky man halts in place just as heâs about to grab you, and looks back at his posse. âHead outside and take a breather.â The raven speaks calmly.Â
Joon pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, not even bothering to argue back with the order given to him. He looks at you with an evil glower and points his slim finger in your face. âYou just lucked out, bitch.â He storms out of the restaurant, the bell dinging as he exits. Youâre still holding the chopsticks as the raven now approaches you, his hands in the pockets of the green letterman jacket he adorned. The way he commanded the Joon guy told you well enough that he was the one in charge. âI apologize on behalf of my friend there. He was a little out of line,âÂ
âA little??âÂ
Even though this man was apologizing to you, there was something about him that sent chills down your spine. The way he looked into your eyes felt like he was trying to take your soul. He had eyes like the devil. They were dark, cold, lifeless even. He actually intimidated you more than the tall one, which you felt showed through the way your legs quivered like they were about to give out at any second. He looked so cool and collected, the disturbance he and his crew caused having no effect on him. It was like he worried about nothing, and feared no one. His eyes shift from you, to the chopsticks in your hand. âWere you planning on stabbing my friend with those?âÂ
You look down at the chopsticks as well. âIf⊠if I had to.â You answer truthfully, swallowing the lump in the back of your throat. The raven smirks, running his tongue across his bottom lip as if the thought turned him on. âYouâre brave,â his eyes roam your body in an uncomfortable, predatory kind of way. âI like you.â
Those were the last words he spoke to you before turning away, deciding to leave the restaurant like you requested them to do. He jerks his head towards the exit, signifying for his crew to follow him out. You wait for them to fully depart before you drop your chopsticks to the floor and collapse back into your seat. Your heart was beating so fast, you really were doubting your decision, not knowing how it wouldâve turned out. Jimin runs to your aid, finally doing something useful after letting those guys punk him.Â
âAre you okay?â He asks. You simply nod, not having the words to speak. âWho the fuck were those guys?â Mina spoke up after also leaving you to basically battle alone. âTrouble, and I canât believe Y/N just stood up to them like that. Those guys are dangerous, I donât even know how youâre still breathing after talking to them the way you did,â Jimin shakes his head in wariness. âThe tall guy with the big mouth was Kim Nam-Joon, and the nonchalant one was Min Yoongi. Heâs the one in charge, if you didnât notice. Iâve heard horror stories about that guy, like that he stabbed a dude in the neck with chopsticks and killed him,âÂ
You snap your head up at him, your eyes wide. âHe killed someone with chopsticks?â Were you really in the face of a serious threat? You could tell that those guys werenât like normal bullies youâve stepped to, but you never imagined them being notorious enough to have heinous stories told about them. âI really canât believe that you survived that.â Jimin repeats again, making you sick to your stomach. âOkay, youâre not helping. At least she did something, unlike you.â Mina snapped. Jimin threw his hands up in defense. âHey, Iâm a man. I might have not been so lucky if I pulled what Y/N did. The only reason she got out of that situation unscathed is because sheâs an attractive girl.âÂ
âCan we please get the check?â Someone calls from a different table, catching Jiminâs attention.âBe right there.â He squeezes your shoulder in a comforting way before leaving you alone to get back to his scheduled work. You sat in silence, your appetite lost. âAre you sure youâre okay?â Mina pressed. You nod again, reassuring her. Youâre alive, right? Why wouldnât you be? âWhat we should take from this situation is⊠I told you not to get involved.â You whipped your head in her direction, your mouth gaped at her insensitivity. She shrugs, taking a sip of her water.Â
âExcuse me?â You look to see the older woman and her husband walking towards you. âYes?â You smile at the couple, taking solace in knowing that you risked your safety for them and that they were okay in the end. âWe want to say thank you for standing up for us,â The older woman reaches out, taking your hands in hers. âThank you so much.â
âIt was no problem,â You lightly squeezed her hands. âIâd do it again.â
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 931.
masterlist directory
Your heels clicked against the pavement as you walked the empty streets alone. You were glad to have picked a restaurant that wasnât too far from your apartment because nothing was scarier than Daegu at night. It didnât matter if you lived in the suburbs or not. The freaks tend to come out at night.
Bright headlights suddenly beam behind you, flashing on and off as though the driver was trying to catch your attention. âHey, Y/N!â A familiar voice called out to you.
You stop walking, watching as a black SUV pulls up beside you. Nam-Joon sticks his head out the window, smirking down at you from the truck. You notice in the car with him are three other guys that you recognize from Yoongiâs gang. You suddenly got this uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.
âWhat a coincidence finding you out here, doll,â His eyes raked up and down your body. âYou shouldnât be walking alone at this time of night, especially dressed like that. A lot of suspicious characters roam around this time,â
âYeah, and youâre one of them.â You thought.
âHop in. Weâll take you home.â He offers, but for some reason it felt backhanded. âNo thanks,â you decline. âIâm not far from home, I can handle walking.â You turn on your heels, carrying on with your walk. Nam-Joon slowly follows you in the SUV, not taking no for an answer. âOh câmon, Iâm just tryna do something nice,â He remained persistent. âAt least Iâm not leaving you high and dry like your boy Jungkook.â
You come to a complete stop upon hearing Jungkookâs name. How did he know you were meeting Kookie tonight? Better yetâ how did he know that Jungkook was a no show? You turn to him, your suspicions heightened. âHow did you know I was supposed to be meeting Jungkook?â Joon shrugs his shoulders, a sly grin on his face. âJust an estimated guess. I mean, isnât he the reason you broke it off with the boss?â The question comes off hostile, almost bitter-like.
You swallowed the lump that sat still in the back of your throat, the atmosphere becoming more ominous by the minute. âSo, you gettinâ in?â You shook your head. âI-Iâm good...â You move forward, picking up your speed away from the SUV. If he and those other men tried anything you were definitely outnumbered by a long shot. You could hear Joon casually whistling in the distance, and as you peer back at the car you see heâs still sitting where you left him.
Relief washes over you as you turn back to see your apartment come into view. You quickly enter the building, practically sprinting down the hall to your unit. You dig through your purse in search of your key, shifting the clutter of makeup around, but had no luck finding the tiny piece of metal.
The sound of whistling swiftly echoes through the hallway, and your heart begins to pound heavily against your chest in a panic. âCome on, come on, come on...â Your voice quivered in fear. âWhere the fuck is it?â
Fed up, you flip your purse upside down and shake out all of its contents; a bunch of makeup, your wallet, and pepper spray all drop to the floor. You continue to shake the bag until finally your key falls out with a loud clunk. You snatch it from the floor, shoving it into the keyway so viciously that you thought the end might snap off. You didnât even care to pick up any of your items from floor as you hastily push open the door before slamming it shut, and locking it behind you.
Your head rests against the doorframe as you try to calm yourself down. You were trembling. Who knows what would have happened if Joon got ahold of you, or if you were moronic enough to get inside that car. Youâve seen firsthand what heâs capable of, and that whole encounter was very minacious. Thereâs a reason heâs Yoongiâs right hand man.
You check out your peephole, making sure he wasnât standing outside of your unit. It would take nothing for him to simply kick down this door, but at least the ruckus would catch the neighbor's attention. They could possibly call the police, or at least identify him if they witnessed the ordeal.
It didnât take a genius to know that Yoongi was behind this. He had to have set this whole thing up. You were stupid to believe he would so willingly let you just end your relationship with him, no matter how cool he played it off. You knew what kind of twisted man he was, youâve seen him coldly take the lives of others without even a blink or afterthought.
You kicked your heels from your feet, before you shuffled to your bedroom. You debated on calling Kookie again to make sure he was okay. You were beginning to get a really bad feeling that something happened to him.
You pull open the sliding door, switching on your bedroom light as it was pitch black. When the room lights up, you freeze in place, as youâre met with a pair of sinister eyes glaring at you. âDid you enjoy your little date?â
âY-YoongiâŠâ Your voice hitches in your throat. The raven haired man is sitting on the end of your mattress, his arms rested on his knees. His hair is hanging in his face, almost covering his eyes. The sight made him look even more feral. âH-how did you get into my apartment?â You questioned timidly.
âIâm a fucking criminal, Princess. Did you forget that?â
â§ REQUEST: Grumpy/sassy Yoongi x sunshine or mischievous reader. Heâs grumpy with everyone but super soft with reader! Reader loves to push his buttons, and mess with him. She starts to feel insecure that maybe Yoongi doesnât feel the same way with her and so she starts to distance herself from him and itâs killing himmmm!! He yearns for her so bad and is so terrified that he will lose her đYou can make it however seems fitting or comfortable to write for you!!
â§ TAGS: aquaâs first grumpy x sunshine dynamic, friends to lovers, light angst, fluff
â§ WARNINGS: some miscommunication and resulting angst but i promise itâs light!
â§ AUTHORâS NOTE: this request was sent in with proof of donation to an organization giving aid to palestine! iâm so sorry that this took me so long đ iâve never written a âsunshineâ MC before, so it took me a while to figure out where i wanted to go with it! i hope it doesnât disappoint <3 thank you @rottingbedpost for giving this a little read-through before i posted
â§ WORDCOUNT: 2.5k words
From the outside, Min Yoongi is a difficult read.
He isnât rudeâof course not! But he can come off kind of cold to people who donât know him well. Quiet. A nod instead of a greeting, a grunt instead of a full sentence. Youâve seen him go hours without saying more than ten words.
But anyone who actually bothers to pay attention can see that Yoongi isnât actually cold.Â
He remembers birthdays without prompting. He holds doors open for strangers and lets ajummas cut ahead of him in lines. He helps his friends carry groceries, pays the bar tab, never asks for credit. Never expects thanks. Never lingers long enough to accept praise if itâs offered. He does the kindest, most thoughtful things youâve ever seen as if it comes as naturally to him as breathing.
Heâs just⊠guarded. Reserved. Selective.
The complete opposite of you, really. It was clear from the moment you met, years ago. He was quiet where you were talkative, steady where you were restless, soft-spoken where you were loud and brash. It shouldâve made you incompatible.
You were the one who broke the ice.
You inserted yourself into his life, infiltrated his friend group in order to wear him down. And once you were in, you got away with so much. Youâd wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind when he was minding his own business, or ruffle his hair just to hear his whiny âhajimaaaaa!â You called him things like âYoongi-boongiâ just to see the exasperation in his face.
He never mirrored your loud affection, not exactly, but you learned to notice the ways he gave it back. Heâd bring you a drink before you even asked, always exactly the way you liked it. Heâd tilt his phone toward you when he found a meme he knew would make you laugh. Heâd save the best pieces of meat at dinner and fill your plate without making eye contact.
Youâd lie awake sometimes, replaying the smallest moments. You wondered if it was intentional. If he liked your attention. If he liked you.
Because, god, you definitely liked him. He pulled you in without even trying. You were addicted to his voice even though you barely got to hear it. Youâd catch yourself staring when he did the most mundane thingsâstretching his arms overhead with a groan, fiddling with his rings, frowning at his phone, pursing his lips in thought.
It felt like you were walking around with a secret scrawled across your forehead. You knew you were being obvious, but you couldnât help the way you always found a reason to be near him.
You hoped it wasnât one-sided. That the pull you felt toward him was mutual.
And then Park Jimin had to open his big fucking mouth.
It happened a few weeks ago. The whole groupâs schedules aligned for once, miraculously, so you got together for dinner. You were crammed into the corner of the booth, pressed up against Yoongiâs sideâthigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder, using every excuse to touch him. You werenât even thinking about it, though. Being in his space had just become second nature. He never pulled away, so why would you stop?
But maybe you were being more touchy than usual, because Jimin leaned across the table, chin resting on palm like a cartoon villain.
âAre you two finally a thing, or what?â he teased.
The whole table burst into laughter.Â
âFinally?â Taehyung chimed in, speaking around a mouthful of rice. âI thought they were already dating! Look at how theyâre clinging to each other!â
âYoongi-hyung, blink twice if you need help,â Jungkook joked, reaching for his drink.
Seokjin made kissing noises. Someone else banged on the table. It wasnât cruel. Group outings were always like thisâloud and chaotic, everyone talking over each other at once, ribbing each other harmlessly. It was all in good fun. The kind of thing that came with years of friendship. You knew that. You did.
But Yoongiâhe didnât say anything.
He didnât complain, or whine, or make a joke, or even look at you at all. He just shifted slightly in the booth to create a small but sudden gap between you. And then he picked up his chopsticks again and went back to eating like nothing had happened.
The entire right side of your body went cold where his body no longer touched yours.
You tried to shake it off. You forced yourself to laugh with everyone else, pretended your stomach didnât drop. You told yourself not to read too much into it. Maybe he was just uncomfortable being the center of attention. Maybe he just didnât know how to react.
But it was too late. Your thoughts were already racing with what his reaction could possibly mean.
What if he didnât like you back? What if he didnât actually like you at all, even as a friend? What if he was just too polite, or too passive, or too indifferent, to tell you how he really felt? What if he had tolerated you clinging to him like a shadow, but now, faced with the possibility that people might see it for what it was, couldnât put distance between you fast enough?
So you started giving him space.
You didnât bring it up. You were too embarrassed, too afraid that if you said the words out loud, theyâd confirm the thing you didnât want to be true. Instead, you just stopped reaching for him.
You didnât lean against his side, or loop your arm through his when you walked together, or ruffle his hair. In fact, the next few times people got together, you didnât even get close enough to do any of those things. You gravitated toward the opposite side of the room and filled your time with other people.Â
And Yoongi didnât say anything.
Still hasnât, actually. Weeks have gone by.
Now, itâs your birthday.Â
You love your birthday. Youâre the type who starts counting down the days weeks in advance, dropping subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints into conversation. The type to plan your outfit and choose your nail color to match the theme. You live for the attention, for the excuse to celebrate yourself, for the way your friends always go out of their way to make it feel like your day. You should be buzzing with excitement right nowâbouncing off the walls, playlist blasting while you get ready, taking selfies in the mirror at every step of the process.
And youâre trying. Sort of. You did your makeup nice. Youâre wearing an outfit you feel pretty in. Everything should feel perfect.
But⊠all you can think about is how for every other thing, Yoongi would be here. Even if it was usually by force.
He never liked going out, and you knew that. But that never stopped you from calling him up anywayâwhining, wheedling, telling him to stop being such an old man and come play. And he never complained, not really, when you demanded he be your driver-slash-bodyguard-slash-shoulder-to-lean-on whenever you went out.Â
Heâd show up. Every time. Heâd keep an eye on your drink, grumble about the music, but let you drag him onto the dance floor for one song if you begged.
But this year? Nothing. No texts. No calls. No Yoongi. Not since you stonewalled him.
You sigh, stepping back and eyeing yourself critically. You look good. You do. You just donât feel good. Itâs like youâre playing dress-up in someone elseâs night. Like youâre on the outside looking in.
Everyone else is already on their way to the club, so you might as well get going. Youâll dance with your friends, drown your thoughts in tequila, and maybe youâll end up having a happy birthday anyway.
You slip on your jacket, grab your purse, and head outside.
Youâre halfway down the front steps, heels clicking against concrete, when the glow from a pair of headlights cuts across the sidewalk.Â
You donât think anything of it. At a passing glance, the car doesnât match the description of the rideshare you ordered. Itâs not the silver sedan thatâs supposed to arrive in ten minutes.Â
But then you get a good look at it.
Is that⊠Yoongiâs car? What the fuck?
The engine shuts off and the door swings open. Yoongi steps out fast. He looks frayed at the seams, like he had barely made the decision to be here before his foot was on the gas.
âCan we talk?â
You blink, genuinely stunned. âUh. Hi? What are you doing here?â
âI saw the groupchat,â he explains, walking up until heâs standing at the bottom of the steps. âI figured you were getting ready to head out.â
âIâm waiting on an Uber,â you say, waving your phone in your hand. âItâs supposed to be here in a few minutes, soââ
âCancel it,â he interrupts.
Your brows draw together. âWhat?â
His hands rake through his hair. âJustâfuck. Please cancel it,â he says. âYou always ride with me. Iâm your designated driver, right? Thatâs our thing.â
You stare at him, heart pounding. âIââ
âExcept for this time. This time, you didnât even text me. You havenât texted me, or talked to me, or even acknowledged my existence in weeks.â
Your fingers curl tightly around your phone. The streetlight casts a soft glow across Yoongiâs face, catching the tension in his jaw, the hesitation in his eyes.
âAnd Iââ He shakes his head. âIâve been trying to be cool about it. I thought maybe you were busy. Or stressed. But Iâm going kind of crazy, okay? I donât know what I did.â
You swallow hard. âYou didnât do anything, Yoongi.â
âThen why the hell are you icing me out?â
âIâm not,â you lie, shifting awkwardly on your feet. âIt just⊠It seemed like you needed space, okay? That night, when Jimin made that joke about us⊠dating. It felt like you were uncomfortable. Like I made you uncomfortable.â
Yoongi stares at you, stunned. âWhat? No.â
âYoongi, come on. Can you blame me for thinking that?â you ask, cheeks burning with embarrassment at the memory. âYou moved away like I was, like, diseased or something.â
âI was embarrassed,â he says, his voice laced with panic. âIt caught me off guard. I panicked, okay? Everyone was looking at me, joking about something I hadnât evenââ He cuts himself off and rubs at the back of his neck. âShit, Y/N, can you cancel the fucking car so I can explain?â
You hesitate, then unlock your phone with shaking fingers. Your phone pings quietly as the ride disappears from your screen.Â
You look up. âOkay,â you say. âGo ahead.â
âY/N, I donât want space from you,â he says. âEver. Thatâs notâgod. Itâs never been what I wanted.â
He gestures helplessly, like the words are fighting him on the way out. âYouâre soâloud. And annoying. And a pain in my ass. You talk too much. You touch everything. Did you know you have, like, zero sense of personal space? Seriously, youâre even worse than Taehyung.â
âWow. Thanksââ
âIâm not done,â he interrupts, taking a step closer. âYouâre also funny. And smart. And impossible to ignore. You make every room better just by walking into it. You drive me crazy. And youâre my favorite person in the world.â
You stop breathing.Â
âThe guys give me shit about it all the time. Tell me I get this stupid look on my face whenever youâre around. Jimin calls it my âY/Nâs hereâ expression. I want to hit him every time he says it, but heâs not wrong.â
You swallow around the lump forming in your throat and try to compose yourself a little. Here he is, saying all the things youâve been waiting to hear for years now, but youâre still licking your wounds from that night. Itâs a little hard to believe that heâs changed his tune, just like that. Just from a bit of distance.
âYou donât have to say this just to make me feel better, okay?â you say, crossing your arms over yourself protectively. âIâm a big girl, Yoongi. I donât need your pity.â
âNoâfuck, I thought you knew,â he insists. âJesus, Y/N. I love you. Okay? I thought you could tell. I love the way you talk over movies, and how you snort when you laugh, and how you touch all my shit without asking. Iâve been in love with you for so long, but I didnât think you felt the same way. I thought maybe if I just kept it to myself, it would go away. But it didnât. It got worse. And I couldnâtâI couldnât let you go out tonight without telling you.â
Your mouth parts, but no sound comes out.
He takes another step. Heâs so close you can feel the heat of him now, the familiar smell of his cologne dizzying you.
âAnd also,â he adds softly, âhappy birthday. You look beautiful. I missed youââ
You kiss him.
Itâs clumsy at first. Your purse bumps between your bodies, your hands fist in the front of his shirt, and Yoongi exhales his surprise against your mouth, like the breathâs been knocked out of him.Â
But then you both get your bearings, and suddenly it deepens.
One of his hands slides up your back, curling gently around the back of your neck. His other hand finds your waist, pulling you in until thereâs no space left between your bodies. Your lips part slightly, and he follows your lead, both of you growing more certain with every passing second. The heat of him spreads through you, fingertips warm against your skin, thumb brushing your jaw while you kiss each other breathless.
When you finally pull back, your lips tingling, Yoongi stares at you. His eyes are wide and dark, pupils blown.
âI love you, too,â you say, as if you didnât just prove it with your mouth on his.
He licks his lips. âOh.â
You track the movement of his tongue, dazed. âYeah.â
Your hands are still on his chest, his shirt bunched up and wrinkled under your fingers. You stand there on your front stoop, holding each other under the soft wash of streetlights like the rest of the world doesnât exist.
âSo,â you murmur, âdo you wanna drive me to this stupid thing?â
Yoongi blinks.
âYou know,â you go on, voice lilting but eyes searching. âDesignated driver duties. You can watch me do birthday shots, hold my purse while I dance, hold my hair if I throw up.â
He laughs under his breath. âYou make it sound so tempting.â
You smile. âOrâŠâ you continue, softer now, âdo you wanna, um⊠come upstairs?â
Yoongi goes still.
âUpstairs,â he echoes, like heâs testing the word on his tongue.
You nod. âYou donât have to,â you add, uncharacteristically nervous. âWhatever you want.â
Heâs quiet for a long moment. Thinking. Processing. And you let him, because youâve learned by now that Yoongi doesnât rush. He doesnât blurt. He considers everything. Weighs it. Chooses his words carefully.
Which is why your breath catches when he looks you in the eye and says, with full certainty:
âI want to come upstairs.â
Your heart flips.
âOkay,â you say, a little breathless. âOkay. Then letâs go upstairs.â
You take his hand, and together, you climb the stairs of your building, fingers interlocked.
â§Â shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this fic! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future fics!
But when he realised he liked you way more than what he prepared himself for
Oh then he was in trouble
So it took him a few eternities to gather up the courage to cross the "just friends" line
That's other thing I believe in
The friends to lovers trope is strong with this one alright
So the bad thing is that this is why it took him so damn long to accept his feelings and do something about it
Because he didn't wanna lose you and your friendship in case you didn't reciprocate
But it's also good
There's nothing better than dating your best friend after all
But moving forward to the actual dating stage
(because him gathering up the courage to shoot his shot was a whole odyssey)
Dating him isn't really about passion
Of course there's that
But the focus isn't on the fast heart beats and warmth spreading all over your being
It's about being safe, comfortable and understood
He's your rock and you are his safe place
So the relationship is very cozy and domestic
One of the things that didn't allow him to get close to you at first was his career
He didn't want to put all the spotlight and pressure on you
But now that he got you? He is not letting go
"but the fans won't like it-" too bad ig
"but the company didn't allow it" since when does he need to ask anything
"oh but-" no.
You can say whatever you'd like. He doesn't care, he didn't ask
You got crazy privileges tho
First to hear the music (and have some dedicated to you), free tickets, any merch you'd like
Just say the word and what you want shall be yours
But when it comes to him as a person, you are even more privileged
You're the only one he answers the phone to
You get to see the side of him that doesn't shut up and is full of jokes
Domesticity like folding laundry together, you drying his hair after he gets out of the shower and him making you breakfast when you just woke up tho it's almost lunch time
SO many inner jokes
Sometimes you both just look at each other and are already trying not to laugh
Will never admit it but he still gets a little nervous every time you see him perform
Even after so much time, he still wants to impress you
One thing he loves is how you seem to just fit in into his life
You and the boys act like siblings
His parents seem at ease with you
His dog acts like he can't live without you
You just look like you belong
Late night talks also go crazy with this one
I swear, he always has the most ?? things to talk about
In the end, this is all about silent yet firm love, always there when you need it and everlasting
Masterlist | you'll probably like: pick me!BTS
Daily click
Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi Ă f.reader.
word count: 6k
chapter playlist: sdl - agust d, gosh she looks so pretty - nato kitch
masterlist directory
The thought of staying in bed all day wasn't a wish; it was a desperate necessity, thanks to the pounding headache that seemed determined to split your skull. Calling off work was impossible thoughâyou couldn't risk the lost wages, especially with Mr. Kim ready to dock your pay at any given chance. Curled under the covers, your fingers traced your lips, a gesture that immediately triggered the one memory your mind refused to erase: the kiss. Not just a kiss, but a full-blown makeout session with Yoongi.
Sure, every decision made last night was fueled by booze, but as the effects wore off, the regret was suspiciously absent. In fact, Jungkookâs two-day ghosting made your choices feel almost justified. You grabbed your phone, your eyes scanning immediately for his name, only to be met with zero notifications. A frustrated sigh escaped as you hurled the device back onto the wood of the nightstand.
His radio silence was genuinely baffling. While you admittedly hadn't taken his rejection well, two days of absolutely no contact was excessive. Was he waiting for you to reach out? He should know by nowâthanks to your longtime historyâthat you don't offer apologies when you've done no wrong. Why should you grovel? He was the one who rejected you, not the other way around.
Agreeing with Mina was painful, yet undeniable. Three months trapped in dating limboâno title, no intimacyâand the question loomed so heavily: What the hell was he waiting for? The feeling that he still saw you only as his best friend felt increasingly real. It fed the deeper fear that his feelings were born from pity, surfacing when you were at your lowest point, spiraling into drinking and partying as you awaited the inevitable expulsion from college due to your parents' death.
The sudden loss sent your world spinning, triggering a steep, uncontrolled decline in every aspect of your life; for months, it was solely the constant support of Jungkook and Mina that prevented you from sinking entirely beneath the waves of a deep depression. That fragile lifeline now feels strained, making you dread the possibility that maybe Jungkookâs sympathy has reached its limit. You didnât blame him. Youâd be tired of your desperation too.
Rolling onto your back, you fix your gaze on the ceiling, finding no escape as your increasingly chaotic thoughts become unbearable; your heart felt like a sinking stone, and all you could manage was another rattling sigh to release the crushing pressure.
The thought was frustrating, but persistent; maybe it was time to bite the bullet, call him, and finally put your wounded ego aside. Even though his rejection had cut deep, your outburst had been unnecessarily angry. Perhaps if you could just swallow your pride and apologize, he might be willing to finally offer a full explanation of his side of things.
You stretched out your arm to retrieve your phone from the nightstand again, but as you unlocked the device, a sudden, abrupt knock on your front door startled you into a frozen silence. Quickly, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position on your mattress, your attention fixed on the living room, waiting to see if there would be a follow-up knock. Not a minute later a second rap confirmed the visitor.
Your mind immediately leaped to the possibility that it was Jungkook. The sound was notably too tame and controlledâcertainly not Minaâs usual frantic banging, and you were sure she would have already resorted to calling your phone, yelling at you to open up.
Your blanket was tossed aside as you eagerly sprang out of bed, your feet pounding toward the front door. You didn't waste time with the peephole, throwing the door open with a joyful smile, certain who you would see. "Jungkookâ" You stopped dead. The boyish, bunny grin you expected was replaced by Yoongiâs face instead. "Y-Yoongi?"
A smirk crossed the raven's face as he saw you, then he simply moved around you, gliding into your apartment without a word of your approval. âSo this is your humble abode, huh?â He took his time looking around, evaluating every corner of your small space. âCute.â He commented. You closed the door, narrowing your eyes at him for the rude entrance. âWhat the hell are you doing here?â you demanded.
âI was in the neighborhood. Thought I might come visit.â
It was an obvious lie. What business did he have in your neighborhood anyway? Annoyed by his presence, you crossed your arms. "How did you even find my apartment?" you asked, though the certainty of how made the question feel pointless.
"Asking questions you already know the answer to, sweetheart?" He raised a mocking brow. "You answered the door pretty quickly. Were you expecting someone else?" He gestured toward the counter, where Jungkook's bouquet stood, its blossoms beginning to wilt and fade.
"Donât worry about it." You moved swiftly around the counter, seized the flowers, and with a press of the foot pedal, discarded them into the trash can."Now, tell me what you're really doing here.â You slammed the empty vase onto the counter. âAnd spare me the 'I was in the neighborhood' excuse." you pressed, urging the raven to reveal his true purpose. The embarrassment from last night was a hot sting, his kiss still fresh in your mind. It was clear how dumb you had been to believe that simply keeping your promise to attend his kickback would be the last you saw of him.
Yoongi held his smirk, clearly entertained by your annoyed attitude. "Is this any way to talk to the guy who just had his tongue down your throat last night?" he taunted, his tongue grazing his bottom lip as his gaze dropped to your sleepwear; an oversized black t-shirt with Deftones' Around The Fur album cover on it. It was Jungkook's shirt.
"Yoongi," you warned, glaring disapprovingly at the raven.
He chuckled, throwing his hands up in surrender.
"Fine, fine." He finally got to the point. "The Daegu fair is in town, and we're going." He offered no room to decline.
"Um, are you crazy?" you asked. The raven gave you a look that instantly made you retract the question. You knew the answer. "Scratch that-l know you are," you amended. "I can't just go to the fair with you. I have work, remember?â
The raven simply nodded. âYeah, but youâre not going.â
You let out a short scoff. âI think my boss would disagree with you on that. I canât miss a shift; I need the money if I wanna keep paying for my luxurious apartment,â you stated, dripping sarcasm into the word âluxuriousâ.
Yoongi replied with a dismissive shrug. âDonât stress about that, princess. Iâll deal with your boss after the fact,â he assured you.
You subconsciously pull your bottom lip between your teeth. While you were secretly delighted to skip work due to your headache, you weren't exactly keen on replacing it with hanging out with Yoongi. Both options sounded equally headache-inducing, but if you had to pick the lesser of two evils, it was definitely not having to work for 8 hours straight at Makoto right now. Even if Yoongi vexed you.
You did enjoy going to the Daegu fair in your teenage years with Jungkook and Mina. The attendance would at least give you a nostalgic feeling. âFine,â you conceded. âBut I need to change first.â
âBy all means, sweetheart. Iâll just wait out hereâunless you need help changing.â He grinned wider, plopping down on your couch, his arms spread across the headrest. âOnly in your wildest dreams,â you retorted, grimacing as you rolled your eyes.
âSweetheart, my wildest dreams involve a lot more than just helping you change.â
You don't even bother responding to the raven's perversion, simply spinning around to head for your bedroom. You slammed the sliding door shut before letting out an exasperated, shuddering sigh. Did you really just agree to go out with Yoongi again? Last night's fiasco was a disaster; you couldn't imagine what today would be like. It seemed like anything that involved Yoongi always turned to shit for you. Your lunch date with Mina, the attack during your delivery in Gongdan, that ridiculous "kickbackâ. Could a simple thing like the fair possibly go wrong too?
Deciding not to dwell on it, you moved to your wardrobe, pulling open the doors and pushing clothes aside to find something to wear. Should you once again tone down your look, as you did last night? It didn't seem like the tracksuit had deterred the raven's unwanted gaze or touches regardless, nor had it kept his brother or Taehyung away. You definitely didn't want to look like you were going for a jog at the fair.
You finally grabbed a yellow mini sundress. It was summer, and unlike last night, it would be significantly warmer in the afternoon. You slipped out of Jungkook's t-shirt and into the dress. At least it didn't show any cleavage, you acknowledged, certain that if it did, you wouldn't be able to avoid his wandering eyes.
You walk into your bathroom, switching on the light. You look in the mirror, examining yourself. You don't bother with makeup or any extra workâit's Yoongi, for god's sake. You don't want to give him any ideas by going the extra mile. The dress is enough. You head back into your bedroom, grabbing your phone off the nightstand and shoving it into your purse.
As you exited the bedroom, you stopped short. Yoongi was no longer on the couch; he was standing, holding the framed photograph that belonged next to the TV. Hearing the sliding door, he glanced back at you. "These your parents?" he asked, referring to the people in the picture. You strode over, yanking the frame from his grasp. "Yeah," you simply said, setting it back on the stand.
Talking about your parents was a sore spot for you, the thought of them too sad. "You look a lot like your mom," he observed abruptly, and the comment caught you off guard. You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat. "Uh... t-thanks..."
âYou ready to go?â The raven gave you a once-over, his pleased look confirming he liked the dress. You simply nodded. âLetâs get this over with,â you said, heavy with dread. Stepping out of your apartment, you reached for your key to lock up. The sound of a neighboring door opening made you and Yoongi turn, bringing you face-to-face with Hoseok. Hoseok froze instantly when he saw the raven. âYoongiâŠâ he trailed off, his entire body stiffening.
âHoseok.â he replies, his voice stale and bitter. The two don't speak, just stare each other down. Hoseok's gaze was fearful, while Yoongi's was cold, his dark eyes piercing the man. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You felt the hatred radiating off both men. âYoongi⊠we should go.â You gently tug on the sleeve of the ravenâs black jacket, needing to escape this rivalry. Yoongi nods. âAlright.â He agrees immediately, giving in to you. âSee ya âround, Hobi.â
You and the raven-haired man walk down the hall, leaving Hoseok where he stood. You spare a final glance, just in time to see the brunet exhale a long, shaking breath. Yoongi's presence alone made him quake. What deep history was between these two? Yoongi had said Hoseok was once like a brother, his right hand man before Joon, until Hoseok tried to get him sent to prison. But why did Hoseok turn on him, and what did Yoongi do to incite that level of fear? Yoongi had only hinted that he didnât let the betrayal go unpunished.
Making it outside, your eyes were immediately drawn to a new car Yoongi was driving. A sleek, red sports car with the roof down. It was pure luxury, a world away from the car you used to driveâan old, hand-me-down Nissan sedan that had been your fatherâs until it permanently broke down, leaving you without the means to get it fixed.
âSomething wrong with your old car?â you asked, looking back at him.
He offered a subtle shake of his head. âNah, I just wanted to ride in style today.â A smirk played on his lips as he rounded the car and held the passenger door open for you. Once you were seated, the raven-haired man shut the door with a soft click. He then slid into the driver's seat, started the engine, and pulled away, heading for Buk-gu, the usual location of the fair. The ride was an estimated thirty-four minutes. That felt like a short car ride with someone you'd actually want to be withâbut an agonizingly long trip you desperately wanted over while sitting beside Yoongi.
You let the silence hang heavy between you and the raven-haired man, simply allowing the wind to rush past your face. Yoongi stole a look at youâyour arm propped against the door, your hand resting beneath your chin as you gazed at the passing surroundings. "Can I ask you something?" He finally breaks the silence. You simply waited for him to get on with it, locking eyes with him instead of replying.
"How come you're still a virgin?"
You immediately furrowed your brows. "Excuse me?"
"How come you've never fucked?" He repeated the question, making it sound even more vile. âYouâre dating someone, right? So how come heâs never fucked you?â
With a disgusted scoff, you shot him a glare. Of all the conversation starters he could have chosen, why was your virginity the topic? "We are not having this conversation. It's none of your business." You snapped, once again looking away from him, your cheeks hot with embarrassment. The raven-haired man didn't stop, though. âYou donât wanna feel a hard dick going in and out of that wet, tight, little pussyââ
âI will tuck and roll out of this car right now if you donât shut the fuck up!â You cut him short, your hand hovering over the door handle, ready to bolt.
He chuckled at your frantic reaction, but to your relief, he stopped talking. âGod, youâre such a pig,â you murmured under your breath.
"I think deep down you like that about me though," he said, throwing you a look, his grin conceited.
"I think deep down you're delusional. If you want a girl obsessed with you and your perversions, maybe you should work things out with Sana." You sneered.
The raven quirked a brow. "There's nothing to 'work out' with Sana. We never had anything. I fucked her once and she thought we were gonna be together. I guess that's what good dick does." He smirked. âIf you say so.â You rolled your eyes and reached for the radio, turning it on. You didn't bother searching for a station, just let the first thing that played drown out the rest of the silence.
âSomebody does love, but Iâm thinking âbout you. Somebody does love.â
You were surprised to find you actually liked the song that was playing, and you began to sing the lyrics quietly yourself, staring back out into the passing scenery. Yoongi gazed over at you. âYou like this song?â he asked, amusement flickering across his face.
âMaybe I do,â You shot him a look. âGot a problem with it?â
âNot at all, sweetheart.â He reached over and cranked up the volume on the radio, the base vibrating off of your seat.
âSomebody does love, but I'm thinking 'bout you, you oh, I'm thinking 'bout you.â
Not at all what you were expecting, the raven begins to rap the lyrics, word for word, completely catching you off guard. âOh? You like this song?â You echoed his question, a small smile tugging at your lips to see him flow so effortlessly to a song about love. You were half expecting him to melt, considering he was the devil and all. What would he know about love? According to Sana he doesnât do feelings, or relationships.
âNever said I didnât,â he laughed. âIâm just intrigued that you like it too. Plus, Iâve been told before that I look like the rapper in this song.â
You stared at him briefly, before shaking your head. âIâm not seeing the resemblance.â you stated, bursting his bubble. Yoongi merely shrugged. âTrue. I look better.â He flashed his addicting gummy smile your way. You bit the inside of your cheek, turning away to hide your own grin.
It amazed you how utterly self-absorbed Yoongi could be, but you expected as much. There was no denying he was handsome; he had probably never been turned down by a woman in his life. Perhaps thatâs exactly why he was so attracted to you. You acknowledged his attractiveness, but you refused to give into his bad boy lifestyle and oozing charm like most girls did. Despite your intoxication clouding your judgment last night, you had no intention of giving him further satisfaction. But this was exactly the game Yoongi enjoyed. Who could resist a woman who played hard to get? He intended to shatter that resistance today.
The two of you continued to sing along to the song, with you handling the chorus and Yoongi delivering the rap verses. You enjoyed this version of Yoongi, it was far more tolerable than the pervert who insisted on probing your sex life. This shared moment made the rest of the car ride more bearableâ just slightly though.
Yoongi found a parking spot quickly, a feat considering the lot was packedâit seemed the entire population of Daegu was here. Families, couples, and friends streamed toward the fair entrance. You and Yoongi opened your doors in sync and stepped out. You gazed ahead at the fairgrounds, a slight smile touching your lips. You hadn't been to the Daegu fair since high school, and the sight instantly triggered a wave of memories.
You and the raven-haired man approached the fair, heading for the entrance booth where wristbands were sold. The line stretched far back, and you predicted youâd be waiting for at least an hour. You immediately doubted you had the patienceâor mental capacityâto stand in that queue for so long.
As if reading your mind, the raven didn't hesitateâhe cut the line and darted directly to the booth. You heard the sound of disapproving voices ripple as you passed, followed by someone shouting, âHey, what the fuck are you doing?â The voice was quickly shushed by their companion. âThatâs the Daegu Devil. Donât let him hear you.â
The crowd immediately fell silent, now letting you both pass by without a single complaint. You reached the front booth, where a couple quickly stepped back to let you in. You looked back at the young pair, offering a word of thanksâeven though you knew they probably didn't want to hear it. You didnât blame them; you wouldnât want some lady who just cut the line with an infamous delinquent speaking to you either.
Yoongi pulled a wad of cash, bound together by a rubber band, from his pocket. Stunned, you watched him count it; the enormous stack easily surpassed any of your bi-weekly earnings. He ripped away the band, and peeled off the necessary amount needed for the wristbands before handing it to the booth employee. The transaction was swift; the employee instantly returned two wristbands, which the raven took.
You both stepped out of line, making way for the couple you had cut in front of. Yoongi handed you your wristband. âHave you ever been here before?â he asked, his eyes briefly meeting yours as he fastened his own wristband. You nodded. âWhen I was in high school. Feels like such a lifetime ago.â
Stepping into the fairgrounds with the raven, you were greeted by a wave of smellsâ from the sweet scent of Hotteok to the fried aroma of So-tteok-so-tteok. It really refreshed your memory, and with that memory came the thought of Jungkook; you wished you could be attending the fair with him and not Yoongi right now.
âHave you ever been here?â you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going as you both walked through the fairgrounds. The raven nodded. âI used to come here with Joon and Hoseok.â The bitterness in his voice when he said Hoseok's name was unmistakable.
âWow, so you and Hoseok used to be really close back thenâŠâ
âYeah. We grew up together,â His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, annoyance etched on his features. âI met Joon in juvie, and when he got out we just all became close.â
It wasn't surprising he met Joon in juvie. Nam-Joonâs abrasive nature suggested he'd likely been in and out of trouble his entire life.âWe used to come to the fair to sell, never to play games. So, this is a first time for me not being here for business.â he admitted.
âIâm surprised Hoseok used to be a drug dealer. I wouldnât have pegged him as that type at all.â
Hoseok was always just the goofy neighbor across the hall. He was sweet and funny. When you first moved in, he had been kind enough to help you move boxes since Jungkook was at work and Mina proved useless. âThatâs because he wasnât the type,â the raven ran his fingers through his hair. âHoseok was always too nice, too scared. He was never meant for this life. He proved that well.â
Yoongiâs jaw clenched, then slowly unclenched. The raven was skilled at hiding human emotion, but you could tell that deep down, the fallout with Hoseok genuinely hurt him. They were childhood friends, and you knew firsthand how much it stung to lose a childhood best friend. Of course, your break with Jungkook in high school wasn't as severe, and you certainly weren't terrified of him or calling him the devil.
You needed to change the topic. Scanning the gaming booths for something to play, you pointed toward the one labeled âHoop Shootâ. âHey, letâs play that,â you suggested to the raven. Yoongi looked at the booth, raising a brow before meeting your gaze. "Basketball? Do you even know how to play, sweetheart?" he smirked.
"Maybe I do. Do you?" you countered, squinting.
Now both his eyebrows rose. "Are you kidding me? I'II destroy you at basketball, princess. I've never lost a game"
You shrugged, walking backward toward the booth while meeting the raven's eyes. âThen put your money where your mouth is.â
The raven smiled, following you over. The carnie at the booth grinned as you approached, launching into his spiel. âWelcome over, folks! Shoot all eight balls into the hoop and win a prize!â He swept his arm around, showing off all the cute stuffies. You had already spotted the one you wanted; a My Melody plush wearing a pink bear suit. âIf you miss one, then youâre out immediately.â The carnie states.
"Go first," the raven said, stepping aside to let you take your turn. "I promise not to laugh if you suck," he remarked, crossing his arms. You playfully flipped him off, and he responded with a laugh.
The carnie set the balls on the counter. "Good luck!" he said. You grabbed your first ball, took a step back, and settled into a shooter's stance.
"Nice form," Yoongi complimented. "Oh, and your stance is good too," he added, biting his bottom lip.
You glared at him. âDonât try to distract me just because you know youâre gonna lose.â
Yoongi instantly put his hands up, staying silent while you took your first shot.
You returned to your stance, shooting the ball toward the hoop. The ball circled the rim, and just as you thought it would drop, it fell to the ground. "Damn it!" You stomped, biting the inside of your cheek in frustration.
"Aw, good try," the carnie said.
Yoongi walked over. "Better luck next time, dollface." He gently patted your back before moving you to the side.
The carnie reset the balls for Yoongi. The raven grabbed his first ball, took a step back, and the carnie repeated, "Good luck!"
"I don't need luck," Yoongi countered.
'What a cocky little shitâ, you thought.
He got into his stance, raising his arms and shooting the ball toward the basket. Unlike your attempt, Yoongi's made it in with a swish. "Ooooh!" He smiled, clapping his hands. "Seven to go," he said, glancing at you.
He grabbed his second ball, shot again, and scored. The raven looked over at you once again, wiggling his brows and holding up six fingers. You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips.
As Yoongi grabbed the third ball and continued to play, you couldnât help but watch himânot his technique, but him. His happy, childish grin humanized him. You were seeing a side he seemed to hide to maintain his image, but right now he was truly himself, and it was crazy to admit, but you were intensely attracted to it.
As your eyes examined the raven, it wasnât just his playful spirit that was attracting youâwhen you truly looked at him, he was incredibly alluring. His shoulder-length dark hair was tucked behind one ear, showing off his double pierced hoops. He wore a black jacket over a white shirt, a heavy Cuban link chain around his neck, and dark jeans with a chain attached to the belt loops. But it was his scent that lured you in the most; a sharp, citrusy smell.
Yoongi shot his last ball, making the winning hoop.
The carnie rang a bell, yelling "Winner!" You snapped out of your trance, watching the raven dust off his shoulders as though the challenge was nothing. "Pick a prize, any prize," the carnie offered.
Yoongi scanned the shelf. "That pink one right there," he requested. The carnie retrieved the exact My Melody plush you'd wanted and handed it to Yoongi.
"Here," he said, holding it out. You looked up from the plush to meet his eyes. "I saw you looking at it, so I won it for you"
Smiling, you accepted the plush. "Thank you..."
Yoongi smirked. "No problem," he said, tucking his hands in his jacket pockets. "You suck at basketball, though," he playfully remarked, taking a step back. âLike, youâre really awful.â
"Screw you.â You rolled your eyes.
"Please do." His tongue ran over his bottom lip.
"Don't be gross," you said, gently pushing his chest.
He laughed. "C'mon, I got a sweet tooth for cotton candy," he added, showing his gummy smile. The raven turns on his heels, walking ahead to go find the cotton candy stand. You stood back for a moment, looking down at the plush in your hands. Your stomach started to churnânot with nausea, but with that fluttery feeling youâd only ever experienced with Jungkook. Now, it was Yoongiâthe bad, drug-dealing, gangster Yoongiâwho was giving you butterflies.
You mustâve been out of your mind.
âYou cominâ or what?â He asks, noticing you werenât behind him. You look up, nodding quickly. âSorry, coming!â You run after him.
"So, I'll admit, you're pretty good at basketball," you informed the raven, plucking off a piece of the blueberry cotton candy you shared. "Did you play in high school?" you asked, popping the piece into your mouth.
Yoongi nodded, picking a piece off for himself. "I did for a bit my freshman year, but I dropped out of school later on."
"You never thought of trying to pursue a career out of it?"
Yoongi scrunched his eyebrows. "What famous NBA players do you know that are five-eight, sweetheart?"
You couldn't answer that because, truth be told, you knew nothing about the NBA in the slightest. "'Iâll answer that question for you; none," he said, chewing the candy.
You shrugged. "You could be the first short basketball player to ever play in the NBA, you stated.
Yoongi laughed, shaking his head. "I appreciate your faith in my basketball skills, princess. Sometimes me and Joon ball."
"Is he any good?"
"No," the raven laughed. "He's worse than you," he remarked, taking a large bite of the cotton candy. You squinted and grabbed his hand, using it to smash the sweet fluff straight into his face. The surprise made him drop the rest of the candy.You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh. Blue pieces of cotton stuck to his face as he picked them off. "You better start running."
You heeded his warning, pressing your plushy against your chest as you made a break for it. You zipped past people, running to who knew where. It didn't take long for the raven to be on your tail; you could hear the clanking of the chain on his pants. "Excuse me, sorry!" you laughed as you brushed by, ignoring the glares.
You didn't make it too far before Yoongi's arms wrapped around you, stopping your run. You screeched in surprise, failing to twist out of his grasp. "You think you're funny, huh?" he said, his hands gripping your waist as he flipped you around to face him. You were both a laughing mess. "You have a little something right here," you teased, and then subconsciously raised your hand to pick off the sticky blue candy.
As you did this, you realized how close and personal you and Yoongi were. His hands were still on your waist, one of yours held the plush, and the other now rested on his chest. You were lost in his eyes-his usually dark, cold eyes now didn't seem so dark.
Yoongi inched closer, his lips almost touching yours before you quickly turned your head, faking a cough. You stepped back from his hold, searching desperately for an escape from the awkward moment.
You turned to the Ferris wheel, pointing toward it. âHope youâre not afraid of heights,â you said, forcing an uncomfortable laugh. You quickly scrambled toward the ride, your back to him, mentally cursing yourself. What were you thinking? You were about to kiss him again? There was no doubt; you had completely lost your mind.
You approached the carnie, and she smiled. "One or two?" she asked. You wanted to say one just to avoid the raven, but you said two, unwilling to make the avoidance obvious. The carnie let you both pass to pick a seat. You chose a yellow cart, strapping yourself in; Yoongi did the same. The carnie closed the bar, secured it, and after a few others boarded, the ride finally started, lifting you into the air.
Yoongi didn't say anything the whole time, which was surprising, considering how much he usually talks.
You looked over to see him staring off into space, his lips caught between his teeth. His gears were turning like crazy, and you knew because yours were, too. Any other time, you would have loved a silent Yoongi, but right now, you wished he would talk to ease the tension.
"Can I ask you something?" You finally broke the silence.
Yoongi looked over at you. "No, I'm not still a virgin," he said bluntly.
You rolled your eyes. "Seriously. Can I ask you a question?" you repeated.
He nodded, awaiting your question. "Is this how you pictured your life?"
The raven tilted his head, confusion etched on his face. You elaborated: "What you do for a living, what people say you've done. Did you ever picture this for yourself?"
The question was deep for Yoongi, one no woman had ever asked him before. "Of course it's not," he answered. "No kid grows up and says, 'I wanna be a criminal when I grow upâ. It's just the cards I was dealt. My parents died when I was young, I went into survival mode. I had to fend for myself at eleven."
"You didn't have any support from friends or other family?"
Yoongi scoffed. "I don't have other family members. All I have is Jongup, and I think you've seen for yourself that our relationship is strained," he said. "As for friends, I mean, I had Hobi and Joon in my corner. But friends can only do so much. It didn't change that I still felt alone and in survival mode,"
That was a sentiment you understood well. When your parents died, of course you had Mina and Jungkook, but their support never erased the pain of your loss. Even now, the subject was touchy. Your parents had essentially financed your entire life, and their passing left you entirely on your own. While you inherited a small sum, it wasn't nearly enough for college tuition. You used the money instead to secure your apartment, then scrambled for work, eventually landing at Makoto, where you now make minimum wage and canât even afford a car.
"When I started this shit, I never imagined how far along it would get," he confessed. "I was just a kid wanting a fast way to make money, but when I touched my first stack, I needed more. I wanna be one of the greats, like Pablo Escobar. Imagine itâthe first Korean drug lord.." He smirked.
It amazed you how passionate he was about being a drug dealer; to you, it sounded like pure greed and a dangerous game to play. Pablo Escobar was literally gunned down by police. Did Yoongi really want that fate?
"How about you?" he continued. "Is this how you pictured yours?"
You shook your head. âNot at all. I pictured myself in healthcare like my mom. I went to college for itâa short-lived experience because my parents died, and they were paying my tuition. After their deaths, I was kicked out for failure to pay. I kind of went down a black hole after that,â you sighed. âIâm watching everyone close to me excelâreal careers, nice apartments, carsâand then thereâs me; working in a ramen shop, living in an iffy apartment, and taking the bus everywhere.â
You were surprised at yourself for spilling your guts out to Yoongi; you barely expressed these feelings to Jungkook or Mina. Perhaps it was because you always knew they couldn't relate: Jungkook had his tattooing career, and Mina was a nurse. Yoongi, however, understood your struggle because he'd lived it. The only difference was that he channeled that experience into somethingâalbeit destructiveâthat at least allowed him to afford his luxuries.
"You deserve better, " Yoongi said, and your eyes met his. "Someone with a soul as beautiful as yours should have everything this world has to offer."
There it is again; the flutters. Your cheeks began to heat up, and you quickly looked away from the raven.You heard him let out a small laugh at your visible fluster.
âDamn you, Min Yoongiâ. You thought. âDamn you for showing me it's possible for my heart to feel something for a man other than Jungkookâ.
Yoongi's car pulled up to your apartment. "I had a good time, the raven said, looking over at you. You nodded, a genuine smile spreading across your face. "I did too-surprisingly," you admitted.
You meant it. At the start, you hadn't wanted to be anywhere near him, but by the end, you had learned a lot more about Yoongi and seen a gentler side. "See, I'm not as bad as the conspiracy theorists make me out to be," he smirked.
You laughed. "I guess not. I'll see you around." You reached for the door handle, but he stopped you. "How about tomorrow night?" he asked. You raised a brow. "Eager, are we?"
"Guess I just can't get enough of seeing your face," he replied.
You looked down at your Melody plush, hiding your fluster once again. "Um, what do you have in mind?" you asked quickly.
"I'm having another kickback."
You shot your head up, ready to protest, given how the last one ended, but the raven was already ahead of you. "It's not gonna be like last time. This time it's genuinely just gonna be me, Joon, a few of my guys, and whatever girl Joon's fucking that day. It'll be tame."
You sighed, thinking it over for a moment. "Fine. I'II be there."
The raven grinned, nodding his head. "That's what I like to hear. I'll pick you up tomorrow."
"After I'm off work. I'm not going anywhere smelling like ramen."
"Why? It's a good smell on you," he joked.
You glared at him. "Screw you."
"Please do," he replied with a drawn-out moan.
You rolled your eyes, pulled open the door, and stepped out of the car. "See you tomorrow, perv," you retorted, shutting the door with a soft click. You walk up the stairs to your apartment building, digging in your purse for your key as you enter. As you approach near your door, you see a shaggy-haired man placing flowers in front of your doorstep.
âJungkook?â
He spun around to face you, a smile forming his lips as his eyes fell on you. âYou always seem to catch me at the wrong time.â The brunet says.
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader.
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
authors note: hello??? why does suga never give me a break? he snapped on haegeum. giving me toxic gang member vibes. this is gonna be a dark, heavily graphic fic. i warn you, if you donât like anything mentioned in the warnings then this isnât for you. this story is purely fictional and for your enjoyment, i do not condone gang violence, affiliation or any of the fucked up shit yoongi will do in this story. comment below if you want to be added to the taglist.
[ 3tan: baseball season ] sigh.. the things i do for yâallđ
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a/n: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP, 3TANNIES!!! this is literally gonna be so unedited and messy but gdi i think we all need this lmfao shoutout to the person calling out yoongi getting even with his ball cap youâre a real oneđ can ryen churn out 5-8k in 1-2 days? weâre about to find out!!!
inbox: whoâs ready for summer menace and mayhemâđ