KrizSummer

An unread book at the back of the shelves. 🌻 INTJ-A 🌸

[taylorswift]

This Love (My version!) is out & I’m currently reliving the 1989 tour in my head and spiraling, it’s fine http://taylor.lnk.to/thislovetv

[krizsummer]

Someday you will meet someone who won't play with your heart. Someone who is sure about you and will treat you right. Just patiently wait, Kring. 💔

[krizsummer]

That one thing you have been praying about last year is your source of anxiety today. I'm so tired being at the frontlines. Lord please. I wanna quit. 💔

[krizsummer]

Since I was young, I never wanted the attention of a lot of men. We you see women walking down the streets and I am one of those women, you'll barely notice me. That's the kind of attention I crave: none. But if there is one man out there that I want to notice me, it's my future husband. I hope he dreams of me at night, and daydreams about me in the morning. 😅 No matter where you are today, I want you to know that I am patiently waiting for you. I just really pray that you will recognize me right away. 🙏

[krizsummer]

Lord, pa-experience naman na naay makagusto nako enough to pursue me. Ana na gyud ko ka unlovable, Lord? 😭

[krizsummer]

Today is the 8th day after the second part of our Physician Licensure Exam, and waiting for the results feels like forever. The palpitations, sudden hyperventilation, butterflies in my stomach, and tearing up a bit as I whisper prayers to God.

This 'waiting' game makes me realize that some things are really out of our control, and we are humbled down that our future will always be in God's hands. I rely on His mercy and Grace each and everyday.

Last night, I slept around 2AM and I woke up at 10AM, ate around 1PM and the cycle goes on...Lol.

I have been praying for my license since I was in MedSchool, and what joy will that be if God will give it to me soon. If there is one thing that I learned from all that I went thru in life, it is the truth that God will always be in control. And even if how much we plan our lives, the final decision is still in His hands.

I lift up all my worries, burdens and anxieties to Him. He knows what's ahead. I just have to put my trust on Him fully.

What is my only comfort in life and in death? That I am not my own (cf. Heidelberg Catechism), and thus, whatever God wills in my life, it is for my own good. ❤

Soli Deo Gloria.

[krizsummer]

THANK YOU LORD. 😭😭😭❤❤❤

[along-the-meadow-path]

Studio Ghibli + Rain

[lsleofskye]

Lake 22, Washington

[krizsummer]

Got so inspired by 'the lakes' by @taylorswift that I was able to write this poem in the middle of the night. 💛

FULL POEM:

We were walking down the lakes

When you asked me what it takes

For me to hold your hand til the end

To heal my heart no one could mend

I smiled while falling into your eyes

I whispered, ''You are an angel in disguise'

Your soft hands, I will forever hold 

Let me keep in a bottle those stories never told

You are serenity in a rustling uncertainty

The oasis to a desert of calamities

A paradise down the deadly abyss

Loving you for years is such a bliss

You helped me fix everything that was broken

Killed the storm and painted the skies golden

So at the lakes I held your cozy hands

For this love we have is not a sinking sand.

© KrizSummer

[krizsummer]

Is it possible to like somebody for 13 years and still don't call it love? Been crushing on someone for 13 years...in silence. He doesn't know til now. #MidnightMusings

[krizsummer]

It still hurts me when people change. When the warmth of their company fades into the abyss and I have no choice but to let them fade. It still hurts me when people don't stay the same even if I want them to stay. It still hurts even if I've been in this situation a thousand times. It will still hurt even if there were no formal goodbyes.

[krizsummer]

I'm tired falling for a person who knows no consistency. Who only talks to you when he feels like it. Who treats you like an option. Lord, make it stop. I don't want any of this shit anymore.

[krizsummer]

My Future Kids will definitely ask me one day about what I did during Covid19 Pandemic.

Kids, Mama is not yet licensed that time. 😂 Our exam went down to history as the longest delay in Physician Licensure Exam in the Philippines. Medically speaking, I was the most 'useless' Medical Graduate during that time because I don't know my role. I lived in a city (which is in Visayas) where I am not affiliated to any hospitals. I was a Graduate of a Medical School from Luzon and had my Internship in Mindanao. San po ako lulugar? Haha.

So I chose to build my abs instead during the lockdown. 😂

[krizsummer]

I got my heart broken a lot of times but I still don't get to define what love is. Yes, a bit ironic but it's true. What is the fine line between infatuation and love? How am I suppose to know if what I felt is either of the two? If I get jealous, is it still love? If I get sad, is it still love? For almost 3 decades of existence, love is still something that puzzles me - a science project with never ending experiments. How am I suppose to know? Is it learned in school? All I know is, I easily get hurt when I feel that what was growing will eventually end unrequited.

[krizsummer]

Can't stop thinking about playing the piano. 😭 I've been listening to some classical faves for hours just to satisfy my mind. Like you can play it in your head, know the keys but you don't have a keyboard with you. It's just so frustrating. 😭💔 I wish I brought my keyboard with me. This is really frustrating.

[krizsummer]

FULL POEM:

You are not just another male muse

You don't give me a bowl of rage

An oasis in the driest land on earth

A serene, otherworldly state of grace

For years I have written eulogies

To lovers that were never mine

Buried the living with the use of my pen

And built an abyss inside my mind

I was helpless and inconsolable

A prisoner of my very own despair

But you came with a torch in the tunnel

And gave my world an unrelenting glare

You are serenity in a world full of chaos

A lovely poem waiting to be written down

A golden bridge to another dimension

Where words of gladness can be found

But this abyss I have built for years

Won't die down in a blink of an eye

So I asked for a dreadful moment of silence

Yet hoping what's meant won't pass us by

© KrizSummer