KTP’s Kitchen

I am really bad at food. Here is where I chronicle trying to be a little less so

[ktpskitchen]

Idk if I'm actually going to use this blog but hey, maybe I'll give it a go for a bit at least. If you somehow stumbled upon this without knowing who I am, hello, my main blog is @apostaterevolutionary and my side blog is @kyluxtrashpit. I post memes and fandom stuff (watch Fafner!)

Here is where I'm going to start chronicling my journey to maybe be less bad at dinner someday. I have tools. I have recipes. But I have no skill, talent, or even common sense when it comes to food so. Things tend to go badly lmao

As examples, if the avatar and banner weren't evidence enough, here are some things I have managed within the last couple of months:

Broke a plate

Dropped and spilled the entire contents of a salt shaker

Lost almost an entire pot's worth of pasta, which I did not have more of, to the sink

Started a fire in my toaster oven

Burnt myself to blistering flipping a piece of salmon (which also ended up burnt)

So yes, I am really this bad and yes, it really is this hard for me. I'm not playing it up. This is actually how it is lmao. Maybe cooking is easy and not at all scary for you, but it is not for me. I am bad at it, I hate it, and it scares me. But I would also like to not be dead and maybe I can get better at it and it will become less scary and hard

Current plan is to just post daily 'this is what I did for dinner and this is how it went', maybe with pictures, maybe not idk. Maybe I'll get bored of this in a week and maybe I won't, but maybe having some sort of real record might help. Let's see how it goes!

Note that this is NOT a diet blog and I don't really give a fuck beyond 'will it fill me up and have I at least made an Attempt to get some vitamins in there'. I did my eating disorder time in the mid 2000s, y'all will not get me again lmao

Current record for days without injury/accident/severe fuck up: 24

[ktpskitchen]

July 13, 2026

Microwave egg sandwich

[ktpskitchen]

July 12, 2026

Leftover pizza

[ktpskitchen]

July 11, 2026

My mom and grandma came over to visit, so we got pizza

[ktpskitchen]

July 9, 2026

Another week of the grocery store not having the wraps I like 😔 I hope they are not gone forever. They’re tasty 😔😔😔 also it’s too hot to be alive send help

Grocery store sushi again

[ktpskitchen]

July 9, 2026

Fried eggs on rice, which I've made before and is pretty self-explanatory. Plated upside down because I'd already pierced the yolks so they could suffuse into the rice a bit

The thing I did do differently this time is I tried frying the eggs with a lid over the pan, which was suggested to me by someone (sorry, can't remember right now...) in order to try to keep the yolks from solidifying. Now, unfortunately, I did break one of them when I cracked it, so it was a lost cause from the start lmao, but I do think it worked overall? The broken one was even still a bit jammy, which was impressive

It did also make the eggs cook MUCH faster sdlkdskd, which I for some reason didn't expect. I think I yanked them about on time but it was a near thing. Not flipping them does mean you don't get the like... sear? Is it still a sear when it's an egg? On the top side. Which is a bit unfortunate, I like that, but it's definitely a much easier way to cook them and increases the chances of the yolks staying liquid. Which for this is nice because while the egg bits are sufficient (I chopped them up and mixed everything after the pic was taken), having the yolk become a sauce is nice. This is definitely the way to do it if you're short on time/bad at flipping lmao

I also was dumb and was like "I totally have time to do some cleaning while the rice is going" but the cleaning ended up taking longer than I expected and I got all flustered, which made the egg experience more frantic than it needed to be, but that was on me lmao. Fortunately my beloved rice cooker kept the rice perfect for me while I did the eggs. All in all, this was largely a success

Days since an injury/accident: 45

[ktpskitchen]

July 8, 2026

I desired burger so I got burger

[ktpskitchen]

July 7, 2026

I got so caught up in the euphoria of successfully writing that I forgot dinner log!

Though it’s boring lmao I slept like shit last night and it’s hot so. Microwave egg sandwich

[ktpskitchen]

July 6, 2026

Leftover chicken rice thing from yesterday. I stand by my verdict that this was just a bit Too Much in terms of the number of competing flavours. Also the sauce was definitely over-reduced

[ktpskitchen]

July 5, 2026

Look! I did something! With scary chicken too! Look upon this food and despair!

So I basically did the same thing as I did here, except 1) added peas to the rice cooker and 2) sprinkled 3 sheets of seaweed on top afterwards. I had more sauce this time (you can't see it cause it's in the rice) but I still think I over-reduced it :/ I think turning the stove up from 4 to 5 was a mistake (as the state of the pan can also attest...), but I was nervous the chicken wouldn't cook. Also I fucked up the timing just all over - stirred the rice too early (it cooked on the bottom entirely too much), chicken was ready first and had to sit for a bit, just a mess in that regard. But, it still came together to be food (and I'll be eating it again tomorrow, as this was entirely too much for one meal lmao)

I did find it less impressive than the first time... the over-reduction didn't help but I also think the seaweed was maybe a bit much? I like seaweed but it's like. Seaweed and teriyaki are both strong flavours, plus peas have a decent punch too so. I think it was just a lot lmao. But, barring anything horrible happening, I am getting more confident in making chicken like this so. I can try other things too

Overall, not bad. Not as exciting as the first time, but better than last nights pasta thing. Though it's going to be Hot here for a bit starting tomorrow so idk how much fancy cooking will happen, this is my first summer in my new place and idk how it's gonna go :(

Days since an injury/accident: 41

[ktpskitchen]

July 4, 2026

So today I wanted to answer a question: why are there so many rules about which pasta shape goes with which sauce? Is there a reason for these rules? Or is it all just a vibes thing that everyone has agreed upon for no apparent reason? Why do so many recipes have a "any long pasta will do" when really, why couldn't a short pasta work? Why is the only macaroni recipe in existence just endless variations of macaroni and cheese? And while I don't know if this answered it definitively, it at least gave me some more data

Ingredients: macaroni (1 cup), garlic alfredo sauce (jarred), pepper

Procedure: cup of macaroni was boiled until cooked. The sauce was poured into a container and microwaved for at first 45 seconds uncovered (though the microwave was paused with about 5 seconds remaining due to scary sounds) and then 30 seconds covered. Once all was complete, they were mixed and pepper was ground on top

Results: this was very Just Fine (tm). Like it really was that and nothing more. It was edible, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. It left me feeling a bit wanting, but not in the sense of physical hunger (that at least was satisfied). Maybe the sauce I bought was mediocre (it was on sale), maybe I don't like alfredo as much as I used to, maybe it needs something else added to it to make it satisfying (but what?). Regardless, it was food and I suppose that's all it needed to be

That being said, I don't think the pasta shape was the problem. I don't see any reason why one can't pair macaroni with alfredo (and yes I know alfredo does contain cheese so technically this could be considered a variation of macaroni and cheese, but they're distinct things in my mind). So it supports my hypothesis that pasta shape/sauce pairing rules are all bullshit. Further testing will be needed to confirm though

Also I really hate that I have to buy an entire jar of sauce to learn whether it's good or not. I now have 2 jars of sauce in the fridge that I've used once and that I feel no desire to use again because they were Just Fine (tm) and nothing more. I suppose I can't get too mad as at least this is a very easy dinner, but I really wish they made single serve jars of sauce so I can at least find out if it's good or not before I commit to the whole damn thing

Days since an injury/accident: 40

[ktpskitchen]

July 3, 2026

I'm starting the think the grocery store stopped selling the chicken caesar wraps I like :( pre-packaged sushi again

[ktpskitchen]

July 2, 2026

Back to work today 😔 only for 2 days lmao but still. Microwave egg sandwich

[ktpskitchen]

July 1, 2026

Didn’t want to do anything fancy on my last day off work, so kraft dinner eaten out of the pot

[ktpskitchen]

June 30, 2026

Leftover curry. Still getting used to how absolutely congealed it becomes and the appropriate amount of water needed to re-liquify it

[ktpskitchen]

June 29, 2026

I made the curry again! And it didn't go wrong this time lmao. I did it the exact same as the first time except 1) used a yukon gold potato instead of the normal ones, as I did the second time, because they're more conveniently sized and 2) added 1 tbsp of onion powder. I also let it cook a little bit longer as the potatoes didn't seem quite done at the ~45 minute mark, so it was closer to an hour (I didn't note the exact time). That's probably variable though

I wasn't sure at first about the onion powder, as 1 tbsp seems like A LOT (KTP lore for those unaware: I don't like onions or any of their cohorts, but I can deal with the powder or when they're cooked to absolute oblivion. Like the shittiest, most greasy ass diner onion rings you can think of? That's the only kind I'll eat lmao. It's too onion-y otherwise. This may be a minor allergy, several people have told me it probably is, but I'm not sure tbh. Anyway, the point is that the powder is fine). And it sure made things smell onion-y at first and I got scared. But it turned out actually good? Like it adds a bit of savoury-ness to it (umami I think is what fancy people call it?) and tips it away from the sweet, kind of the opposite of the apple. There's still a touch of sweetness, but it's definitely more savoury than without. I liked it! I think I'll keep adding it going forward

I was also concerned that I either didn't add enough water (maybe adding an entire tbsp of powder would mean it needs more) or over-reduced it, but I think what actually happened is the liquid just immediately absorbed into the rice when I plated it lmao. The rice to curry ratio was basically perfect, so I think it only appears to be lacking in liquid due to my plating choices. It's easier to eat this way though so that's why I did it

I also didn't peel the carrot, as you can eat carrot peel if you wash it and I'm lazy, but this was like, the first time ever that I noticed a difference in taste? So I think I'll peel them for curry going forward. The earthiness was a bit much

Anyway, all in all, this was a win! Onion powder does good things to curry. Maybe if I'm feeling brave, I'll try it with chicken next time 🤔 tbh the only downside to this recipe is even though it's much easier than making curry properly, between the rice, the prep, and the actual cook time, it's like a 2 hour thing. A lot of that is rice cooker time, yes (and you could make the rice the day before), but that's still a long time imo lmao. But hey, I get 2 dinners out of it too so at least there's that

Days since an injury/accident: 36

[ktpskitchen]

June 28, 2026

Migraine got me, so scrambled eggs and toast for something easy that won’t Feel Bad in my stomach