i'll just call a taxi.

growing 🌱

[t-hirstreview]

Pappy's rules for living

[liar-frumpy-wrong]

Hello 👋 this is Montgomery lamontgommery 🌲🍀adventurer🐻🐗 of 😷🤕😷🤧 gath 🥴🫠😶‍🌫️ I’m stranded 🧶🪢 here at [coordinates] 😮‍💨😓 this message 💌 is for comfrey macleod ☁️ IM 😰😥🫣 SCARED😰🤢😨😵‍💫 IM 😫🥺😭SO 😵🤧🫠SCARED 😱🫢🫨🤢😭🥺 I- I- I found your power ⚡️💡🌩️ station 🔋⚡️💡🚎🛰️🚙 at Ramansuuuuuuuu😭🥺😫😖😭🥺😰😥😭😫🥺 And I- I saw that “Montgomery 🐻🌲🏕️knows the way 🛣️🚦🚸🚏🚐🚴” I’m Montgomery🐻🦖🌸🦋🐐, but I cannot 🛑✋👎🚫⛔️find the way 😭🥺😫😰😖😥👎🚙🛣️😫 I’m on your old 👵📜🏚️ ship 🗝️🚢🛶🛳️⛵️ with a weak crew 👊🦾✨🐀🔫 they were the weakest😪🤧😷🤕😴 people I could find 😭😖😫 there’s one named Maxwell 🤵‍♂️🥸🕺gotch 👊💰🤑with the tiniest fists😈🤏👊🤜 😇OW 😖😫🤕sorry 🥺😭I’ve been bitten 🦷😬by a crab 🦀🐚🦞I have to pee💦😭🥺😫, I haven’t eaten🍔🍖🦀 comfrey ☁️🌦️🫵find me 😫😭🥺😖I have to peeeeeeeee 💦😫🥺💦🫛🫣😔I have to peeeeeeeee 😭😰😥😖😫🤢🫛💦🌊💧

[vincenzonova]

What's his alignment? Who the hell cares, my boy Wealwell majored in Reposed Standing

[crandairy-juice]

playing with snoopy like a dress up doll…

[visenyaism]

j'adore le franglish content le code switching c'est tellement fun je sautille from a language to another like a gazelle et toi aussi tant que tu voudras :)

OUAIS baby we are so fucking back. franglais est parfait parce que americans get mad AND it sends evil psychic vibes à l’académie française. The phrase “qu’est-ce qu’y’all doing aujourd’hui” came out of my mouth this evening and i think that might be the pinnacle of human language. i love being annoying

[turnabout]

“qu’est-ce qu’y’all doing aujourd’hui” is gonna stay with me for a minute.

[angelicdewdrop]

[helsex]

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

[cryptotheism]

This guy can't find the divine within the mundane! Kill him girls!

[stricatul]

one of my sexual fantasies is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me

[revevif]

healing happens in circles, not lines. you will return to old places with new eyes.

[reggiemess]

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

[twitchytyrant]

middle aged men do this too

[charl0ttan]

mind if a bouba boy speaks a little kiki

[sourdoughstarter]

spring is so crazy you go outside and youre like damn its green

[doggosource]

she took the midnight train going anywhere 

[mosquitogirl]

[angelslant]

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

[infectiouspiss]

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

[thegenderdruid]

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed