𑣲 cuddling in bed, you, your boyfriend and your boyfriends stick!
damn, you were really ditched by your boyfriend for a stick, , ,
okay, you were being dramatic. every giver has a strong bond with their jinki—you know that.
you also know that Zanka was especially close to his jinki, Lovely Assistaff.
but really? you were literally right here beside him, laying in his bed, yet he was turned over on his side holding onto Lovely. you knew it was a stupid thing to be annoyed about, yet the slightest hint of jealousy crept up in your mind as you watched him.
just laying there, back against you, holding onto his jinki. you huff, frowning at the sight, wishing that Zanka had his hands around you instead. it was cold and you came here to have your warm boyfriend embracing you tonight—not Lovely!
when you two first started dating, you had admired how careful and attentive Zanka was with his jinki. it was cute how much he cared for her and you thought she was just what Zanka had namned her—lovely.
but you couldn't help but feel like Zankas side piece when he was being like this, , , you never, ever thought you'd stoop so low to be jealous of an object!
sighing again, you turn over to the side, putting your arms around Zankas waist. normally he'd never let you be the big spoon, but it wasn't like he was awake, , , or hugging you either, for that matter.
putting your face against the back of his neck you breathed in the scent of his hair, the faint smell of fabric cleaner and shampoo always clinging onto him despite the dirty job you both had. even Lovely was always clean and taken care of, always polished and cared for.
, , , it was stupid, how jealous you were. of course Zanka loved you too, he couldn't date his stick (or at least you think) and he had always found comfortable in Lovely when things got stressful at your shared job.
maybe you could ask to help care for Lovely. maybe that would make you realise it never was that deep, and that Lovely would always be a part of this relationship. yeah, that'd be nice. if Zanka did allow you to hold Lovely you gladly would, she was amazing in a lot of ways and you could understand why Zanka loved her so much.
you sighed again, but this time with a smile on your face as you move one of your hands to hold over Zankas, holding onto Lovely in a way. being irritated over such a silly thing as your boyfriends stick was stupid! he'd never leave you for her, and you'll just show your own appreciation for her to make Zanka trust you more.
, , , the calm is erupted by Zankas faint whisper, a fragment of a dream, voicing out the name of—not you, but Lovely.
for the first time in your relationship, you decide to physically attack him by hitting him over the head with a pillow, disrupting both his and your own sleep.
𑣲 he's unhealthily obsessed with being great, but with you he can allow himself some rest,, ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
.✦ ݁ crushing, cleaner reader, gender neutral reader, both you and zanka are a bit shy, pov change (!!)
Zanka was very well aware of how unhealthy this was. The obsession with being great, the hours spent training to perfect his precision and aim. It took over his life, every waking moment was spent working on himself—bettering himself.
He knew it wasn't normal. Nearly every day Enjin would tell him he's doing too much in that teasing tone, but still with an almost worried glint in his eye. Sometimes Gris would tell him he needed to rest which only seemed to make Zankas mind panic.
Rest was a foreign concept in his head—something evil, something that would only keep him from doing what he was supposed to. Being a cleaner wasn't exactly a career choice that promised calm and quiet, so he had to learn to ignore his aching muscles and the pain of over-exercising. After all, that's what an average cleaner should be able to do.
Sometimes, on quiet nights, Zankas thoughts would linger on these habits. He knew, he really did, how bad they were, but he never dwelled on it too long in fear of realising something weak about himself. He refused to acknowledge just how harmful the hours of wielding Lovely Assistaff on an empty stomach actually were. Eating didn't come easy either—it was time that could be spent training, and if it wasn't healthy enough there was no idea even eating the food.
Nothing could remove those thoughts that had been engraved in his brain, nothing and no one.
Until you noticed it.
Until you tried to help.
Zanka never understood why it felt like it was okay to rest when you told him too, or how there was no guilt eating your food. It just came so easily when it was you—anything that had to do with you came easy for him.
He felt like a fool. You were just another cleaner, another faces among the many others, yet you managed to convince the voice inside his head that he didn't need to punish his body like this. Years of unhealthy habits that just, , , turned off when he was around you.
"Do you like them?" Your voice sounded hopeful as you looked at Zanka across the table, your expression happy despite the tiring missions you both had been on today.
"They're good" Zankas answer was short—nothing you weren't used to. He always seemed to be thoughtful whenever you baked something for him, like these cookies you made (especially for him, but don't tell him that).
His eyes found yours, and for once he looked, , , just a little at ease. It made you feel stupidly giddy—you hadn't yet figured out what exactly you felt towards him but helping others feel better always improved your own mood.
"I almost think they're too sweet" You hum, eyes moving to stare at the tray of multiple cooling cookies in front of you. Milk chocolate with extra sprinkled on top and the edges dipped in sugar. Rudos idea that you took, hoping that it would feed Zanka a bit, , , it was stupid to think one cookie would change his bad habits, but you couldn't help but worry when he trained so hard and ate so little.
"Maybe. Yeah, they are a bit too sweet" Zanka answers, yet still taking another bite.
Scrunching your eyebrows together in slight confusion, your eyes find his face again. "You can say they are way too sweet, i won't take offence"
", , , maybe I like it too sweet" The room fell into silence after that. In what world would Zanka like cookies this sweet? It was a wonder he even ate the normal stuff you baked!
"Quit looking at me like that" Zanka grumbles after a while, glaring slightly at you—who's still looking at him very intensely. You almost couldn't believe it, Zanka admitted to liking something 'unhealthy'.
"It's just, , , ah, nevermind" You sigh, adverting your gaze onto the table yet again—but not before noticing a slight blush on Zankas, quite pretty now that you think about it, face.
i love how the gachiakuta fandom makes the gender bent characters look basically same as in canon, but i think fem!goka with longer hair would look really cool
this is a really rough sketch before i go to work, i'll make it better later (｡ᵕ ◞ _◟)
rewatching gachiakuta and i have to say it's extremely fucking funny how some characters will randomly have long therapy-speak talks with rudo (regto & enjin mainly) bc it's just. such an effective and helpful way of communicating with a severely traumatized kid and it comes out of nowhere every time and it's great. and then when zanka says some shit like "me almost dying from that fight was actually my own fault and getting helped by other people feels like cheating so if i can't get stronger on my own then i should just die and you should let it happen" everyone's like "okay sounds great zanka 😁 so glad you're not suicidal anymore 😁" and it's like. guys.
exactly how ppl treat those who have been suicidal before IRL too. it's all 'well you haven't tried to hang yourself lately so you'll be fine on your own right!" can we have therapy for zanka pls
okay so i have this idea for fem!goka with longer hair but still shaved on the side
like she has layers cut (i imagine all the nijikus hair is thick, so cutting it would make her sweat less during battle) and side bangs, but her sides are still shaved
!reader crashing out on zanka because they despise how he keeps calling himself average when he's very talented, like yelling and crying and cursing and almost throwing up because they feel so much hate
and zankas like 'oh. i guess secretly showing off didn't have the effect on my crush that i wanted it too'
zanka admiring !reader for being so hardworking and determined to get better and therefore develops a small crush on them
meanwhile !reader is seething with jealousy and hate whenever they think of zanka, and the only reason they train so hard is to become better than the supposed 'average joe' that is still better than them
i like to imagine that yet another reason that Zanka is so obsessed with 'getting better' is because he needs to prove to himself that surviving his suicide attempt wasn't something he should regret
like he wishes it worked sometimes, that he never was saved by enjin and riyo, but then he trains until exhaustion just to prove a point to the voice in his head. 'dying would be a waste' yknow
i'm crine urana promised me she wouldn't tell anyone when i told her abt my mental health 😭 😭 why'd she do me like that and create zanka nijiku i'm crineeee 😭 😭 😭
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