feel more like limbo

heart & soul into stories. 20 | infj | avid keshi enjoyer

[kumottai]

nice to meet ya, catch you later? ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

about me:

: ̗̀➛ hey! i’m j, and i write no name drabbles. let your imagination run wild with whoever character(s) you dream of!

: ̗̀➛ i’m 20, and my pronouns are she/her

: ̗̀➛ i’m an INFJ

: ̗̀➛ i’m into anime, kpop, and keshi hehe

̗̀➛ this blog is just a way for me to let out any happy, angry, sad, literally any emotion and turn them into writing to cope. i love narrative writing, it’s one of my best hobbies ^-^

rules:

: ̗̀➛ all my drabbles are based on real life experiences but i can take requests! unfortunately i do not write nsfw, all my works will be sfw. so yes, all my drabbles are antidotes i’ve experienced unless it’s a request! (aka these are things i’ve experienced with my current boyfriend.)

: ̗̀➛ my posts are directed at he/him, since my experiences are with a he/him.

: ̗̀➛ as for requests, i do not write drabbles based on a certain character. for example, i will not write a one shot for miyuki kazuya or suna rintaro. i will only take scenarios. it could be like “him comforting you if you’re having a bad day,” or “him taking you out on a date.”

: ̗̀➛ this blog is just a way for me to let out any happy, angry, sad, literally any emotion and turn them into writing to cope. i love narrative writing, it’s one of my best hobbies ^-^

: ̗̀➛ please be nice while you’re here! i’d love if you popped in to say hi, i respond!

: ̗̀➛ p.s. eat well and have a happy day!

masterlist

: ̗̀➛ active 04/06/2023

[kumottai]

j asks

who do you guys imagine when i write my universal fan fics? IM CURIOUS

ps, pls feel free to request <3

masterlist

[kumottai]

eating taiyaki at 11:00 am with you.

no names; acting like an old couple with young love.

the morning air is always the freshest; when the world has barely woken up and the streets in the suburbs were in their slumber. by then, stores were preparing to open their stalls, our favourite taiyaki place being one of them. the fish-shaped desserts were always a delight, the custard filling being the best part.

“i’m hungry,” i pouted, holding onto his hands as we ambled along the sidewalks of "old" korea town. i eyed the market's fresh fruits when we passed by, sulking because of how delectable it looked— it was either appetizing or i was just really hungry, i couldn’t tell.

“me too,” he chuckled, “what about some taiyaki? they’re making fresh ones right now.” he pointed to the large stand, the only person working hard at creating that delicious pastry. i smiled and nodded, dragging him to it.

“good morning!” i beamed at the worker, their eye smiles peeking from above the mask. “how are you?” i asked, the aroma of the custard filling my senses. it smelled so good, and i held his hand tighter.

“i'm well! you guys are here early,” they grinned, flipping a pastry, “what can i get for you?”

“two custard taiyaki’s, please.” i pulled out a five-dollar bill to pay, gesturing after to keep the change. he gave me two small paper bags, one dessert in each, and gave one to my boyfriend. i giggled at the sight of him heavily eyeing the food, eager to sit and eat.

"have a good day!" i smiled at the man, who waved back and turned their attention back to their work. we sat at the nearby benches, the smell filling the air once we slid our taiyaki to the top of the bag. he took a bite first, groaning at how delicious it was. i followed, savouring the sweet, warm taste in my mouth.

"now this," he said, licking the custard around his lips. "this is a breakfast."

"agreed."

and we sat there, enjoying out taiyaki's at eleven in the morning for breakfast. i put my head on his shoulder, and we watched people walk by. we also fed some crumbs to the birds, and cloud gazed as it came and went. instantly i knew, he was something i wanted to do old-couply things with.

[kumottai]

pov: your boyfriend wants you to eat at work

[kumottai]

masterlist

fluff

eating taiyaki at 11 am with you.

hurt/comfort

connection.

angst

saying things that hurt.

texts

pov: your boyfriend wants you to eat at work

[kumottai]

connection.

no names; the only thing that connects you both in moments of disentanglement. 

disconnection- a state of being isolated or detached.

that’s what i feel about him right now. never would i have thought would i feel such intuition in someone i called my comfort, my safe space, my home. he’s the closest thing to me yet i feel so, so far away from him— and nothing seemed to close that distance.

i sighed, staring into the ceiling in a room where no light was allowed to enter. i drowned in loneliness, talking to no other but the voices stemming from my inner dialogue. all were insults and slander, nothing good or comforting to say to me.

i felt my phone vibrate underneath my pillow. mustering up all the strength i had at that moment, i checked to see who disrupted my mantra, squinting at the screen as it heavily contrasted the darkness of my surroundings. it was no other than him: my disconnection.

him: hey

him: i know you’re not okay

him: and i feel very disconnected from you right now

a felt my chest tighten, happy that he matched my feelings but dejected that he was experiencing these things too. unable to gather my thoughts to form a response, i stayed silent staring at the grey bubbles, thinking. then, another text had been sent, this time a spotify link.

him: *spotify link*

him: here, join this session. we can listen to music together

him: at least the music will keep us close

him: goodnight

i clicked on the link which put us in a listening session together, and felt relieved— a breath left my lips and my thoughts simmered down, allowing me to calm my heart. it didn’t matter what song was played during that night or what happened earlier that day,

at that moment i felt connected to him, and i realized disconnection was never really a thing in our dictionary. 

[kumottai]

i missed you too!!!

and today was my first midterm. it went pretty good for the most part, hopefully the rest goes great as well🎉

i will stop to talk every now and then with so much pleasure <3

and yes i still very much in love with miyuki kazuya xD

and i am still in love with this drawing <3

thank you so much again <3333 I really appreciated this ❤️

this midterm season will go so well for you! you can definitely do it! push through and make sure to take care of yourself ^-^

also IT’S SO COMFORTING TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH MUYUKI STILL BABAHASHAH. and i remember that drawing, i’m so happy you still have it :’) this is too sweet

[miyuwuki]

i was going to send this is your new account but i can only message, so i came here as not to bother you in your messages because i have lots to say.

first, welcome back i am very happy you are posting again <3

uhm i saw a notification the moment i woke up and i was happy and all but i couldn't write this until now because i had a midterm exam to get ready to, now that it's over i am here!

i love your daiya and knb writings, and i love your writing in general. i also love you, it's nice seeing updates from you, writings or whatever💜

i am happy you are posting again and will support you always and look forward for what's coming from you :)

take care and have nice day j <33

oops! i’ve turned on my inbox now, i forgot hehe

but zoya! how are you doing? i’ve missed you so much, HOW WERE YOUR MIDTERMS?

i am happy you most of all are looking forward to what i have to bring on my other account :) i find it so sweet that you’re still here. please stop by and talk often! i hope everything is going well for you and i’m sure your love for miyuki is more than when i first spoke to you HEHEHE

have a good day and eat well zoya dear <3

[kumottai]

saying things that hurt.

no names; saying things that might hurt our loved ones.

what felt like a few minutes started to feel like hours, unaware of what we were arguing about in the first place. our voices clashed as we attempted to defend ourselves, too prideful to give in to whatever had triggered this mishap.

“well i can never get what i want.” he huffed, looking away. i kissed my teeth, annoyed at the lacking exposition. “what do you mean?”

“what i mean is that i can’t get what i want here because i’m always trying to cater to you. i can tell you’re so clingy towards me.”

the upcoming inspiration caught stuck in the middle of my throat, failing to process the justification he gave for his actions. i never wanted to shut up more than i did right now, feeling that breath still stuck halfway through. awkward shuffling came from his end, seeing him come closer to me in my peripherals. “hey, i was just being honest.”

i pursed my lips, feeling the water rise just above the surface of my tear ducts. i looked at him and chuckled, a dry laugh that had no humour in it— empty. “wow,” i finally exasperated, “then i’m sorry.”

“what?” 

“i’m sorry for... doing that to you then. i don’t know how or when i’ll be completely better with my issues, but i’m sorry for putting you in that position.” 

i walked away into the bedroom, grabbing a few of my things and stuffing them into a random bag i found nearby. 

“where are you going?” he mumbled, trying to stop me from packing anything more.

“giving you a place where you can get what you want.”

because love, in the end, your happiness is everything, even if i am not in the same room as you.