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꣑ ˖ ᤳ :: most of my work on this blog is fifteen and up, i, myself am a minor who writes suggestive and explicit content. i know smut can depict a unrealistic view of sexual intercourse, i am not using smut as a sexual ed guide. it's just for me to practice writing and have a good time.
꣑ ˖ ᤳ :: i mostly write afab and female readers, but genderneutral readers will be included. i'm just more comfortable writing from a female lens because i am a female.
꣑ ˖ ᤳ :: fluff, angst, and soft smut is the type of writing that will be present on this blog. i’m a sensitive person, in general, so all my explicit writings will be praise - driven.
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haruhi fujioka is the boy you choose to have a crush on to hide that you're a big ass lesbian ꒰ ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Your friends were the ones who dragged you to that Host Club, you didn't want to go at all. You have better things to do than sitting on a couch with random kids from your class to drink tea and talk. But they're so handsome! Your friends insisted on that and yes, objectively, they are pretty boys. But you can't see the appeal on them, you never did.
That was a problem for some time of your life, thinking there's something wrong with you because you don't like men, in your mind, you were going to spend all of your alone, and that would be a terrible outcome for simply not liking boys. At the same time, you loved being around girls, brushing their hair and doing your make up together, cuddling in sleepovers were your favorite activities to do.
It took you two whole years to realize that you were a lesbian.
You haven't really told anyone yet, not because you are ashamed, but because you don't feel ready. Maybe you are a little scared of your friends judging you and being weirded out by you.
So for now on, you are just keeping it on secret.
After your first visit to the Host Club, all of your friends had new crushes in each of the boys and when they asked you, you didn't know what to say so you just went with it.
"Fujioka-kun is cute," you said, shrugging your shoulders.
Your friends' eyes went wide the second those words left your mouth. One of them squealed, grabbing your arm so tight it almost hurt. "Oh my gosh, you like the quiet one? That's so perfect!"
You tried to play it cool, shrugging again like it was no big deal, but your face was already getting warm. "I mean, yeah. He's… nice. Cute. Whatever."
From that moment on, it was chaos. Your friends turned into full-on matchmakers overnight. They started dragging you back to the Host Club every single afternoon, claiming it was for their own crushes. But really, they spent half the time whispering and giggling while they pushed you toward Haruhi's corner of the room.
The first time they tried setting you up, you wanted to melt into the fancy carpet. You were sitting on one of those velvet couches, sipping tea you didn't even like, when two of your friends suddenly left you there alone with Haruhi, who was quietly organizing some paperwork.
"Um… hi," you managed, your voice coming out way too soft. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought he might hear it. Haruhi looked up, his big brown eyes blinking at you in mild confusion.
"Hello. You're back again," he said, smiling politely like always. "Do you want me to keep you company?"
"Um, I mean... if you want," you said, frowning a little.
Haruhi tilted his head a little, trying to figure out if you were okay. He offered you another cup and his fingers brushed yours when he handed it over, you nearly dropped the whole thing. He was so calm and normal while you felt like your brain was on fire.
After that, your friends got bolder. They started accidentally leaving you two alone in the music room during club hours. One time they even made up a fake club event where everyone had to pair up for some silly game. You ended up partnered with Haruhi for a dance and your hands shook so bad you stepped on his feet a couple of times.
"You're really nervous today," he said quietly, not looking at you directly because he knows that would make you even more nervous. "Is everything alright? You don't have to force yourself to come here if you don't enjoy it."
Your face burned. He thought you didn't like the club? That wasn't it at all. "No, I… I do. It's just... awkward. I'm awkward." You wanted to say more, but the words stuck in your throat.
Haruhi smiled. "I don't think you're awkward at all. In fact, I find you very sweet."
That. That shouldn't have made you feel like that. Your stomach was doing cartwheels over a boy? No way! You're not attracted to boys, even if they look cute and feminine like Haruhi.
But Haruhi was so nice with you. He'd just listen when you stumbled over small talk, offering thoughtful little comments about school or the ridiculous antics of the other hosts. Sometimes he'd even smile at you in that genuine way that made your stomach flip.
Your friends, meanwhile, were losing their minds. Always saying things like "HE LOOKED AT YOU FOR FIVE WHOLE SECONDS" and "GO FOR IT GIRL HE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU". You kept telling them to stop, that it wasn't like that, but they wouldn't listen. They were convinced this was the romance of the year.
At some point, everything started to feel too heavy. You slipped away after classes, finding an empty classroom on the third floor. The door clicked shut behind you and you slid down against the wall until you were sitting on the cool floor, knees pulled up to your chest.
You felt like the worst friend in the world. Every time they giggled about your "crush" on Fujioka-kun, you smiled and played along, but you were lying to them. Hiding the biggest part of yourself because you were scared they would look at you differently. What kind of friend does that?
The door slid open softly. You froze, quickly wiping your face with your sleeve, but it was too late. Haruhi stood there, holding a stack of papers, looking surprised to see anyone inside.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," he said. He hesitated, then stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Are you… okay? You look really upset."
You tried to say you were fine, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, fresh tears spilled over. Haruhi set his papers on a desk and sat down on the floor a respectful distance away.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he added after a moment. "But if you need to talk, I'm here."
That was enough for you to tell the whole story between sniffles. How your friends dragged you to the Host Club. How you panicked and said Fujioka-kun was cute just to have something to say. How they turned it into this huge thing, pushing you two together every chance they got. And then the bigger truth, the one you had never said out loud to anyone.
"I'm a lesbian, Haruhi," you whispered, staring at your hands. "I've known for a couple years now but I haven't told my friends yet. I'm so scared they'll think I'm weird or that it'll change everything between us. So I've been pretending to have a crush on you because you're a boy and it was the easiest way to keep the secret. But now everything feels like one big lie and I hate it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you into this mess."
You finally looked up at him, expecting confusion or maybe even discomfort. But Haruhi just sat there, blinking slowly as he processed everything.
"Thank you for trusting me with that," he said quietly. "It must have been really hard carrying it alone. Your friends sound like they care about you a lot. Maybe… they would surprise you if you told them? But I get why you're scared. Coming out is personal. You do it when you're ready."
Haruhi sat there quietly for a moment, letting his words settle between you. You wiped your tears again, feeling a little lighter just from his words and then he shifted a bit closer on the floor, gathering his thoughts.
"Since you trusted me with something so big, I want to trust you too." He paused, brushing some hair out of his face. "I'm actually a girl."
You blinked at him, not sure you heard right at first. "Huh?"
Haruhi turned fully towards you, a light flush on her cheeks. "Yeah. I never meant for the whole school to think I'm a boy, but after joining the Host Club I just went with it... also I do enjoy looking androgynous and spending time with beautiful girls."
You stared at her, everything clicking into place. The way she moved, the softness in her voice sometimes, how she never quite fit the loud boy energy of the other hosts. Your face grew hot as you realized your fake crush had been on a girl the whole time.
"Oh my god," you whispered, huffing a laugh. "What were the possibilities?"
She let out a quiet laugh, light and real. "It's kind of funny when you think about it."
You end up dropping your face to her shoulder, laughing against it. Haruhi also falls into laughter, wanting to wrap her arm around you but you already lifted your forehead from her shoulder and now you were looking at her right in the eyes.
"Do you really enjoy flirting with girls?" you asked her, wanting to know more about her.
"Yeah, actually I have a favorite," she says, biting her lips shyly.
"Really?" You arched your eyebrows, stopping yourself to ask who it was.
"Yup. She's really awkward sometimes, especially when her friends push her into things she doesn't want to do. But it's kind of cute. She has this pretty smile that she doesn't show enough. I didn't realize it at first, but every time she comes around the music room I find myself looking forward to seeing her."
She paused and looked right at you, waiting for you to catch up. "She's sitting right here, actually."
Your breath caught in your throat. "Me?" you whispered, pointing at yourself.
"Yeah, you."
You have no idea what people do in this situations so you just sit back in your heels, getting awkwardly close to Haruhi's face and you gave her a quick peck on the lips that she didn't even have time to give back.
a/n: I LOVE LESBIANSSSSS I LOVE HARUHIII AAAAAAAA. i need more fics of her i want to bite her cheeks and put her eyes in my boba tea
i just graduated high school on june 5th and i turn 18 in july wtf is happening like plz hold on 😭 and the way i don't even feel 17? i still feel 11 why did my life just halt during 2020
Randomly when passing him in the hall he’ll pull you into a secluded space for a quick hug. Against the general idea, I believe Leona would love the safety and blanket effect of your arms around him. You're pretty much a pillow to him (his favorite).
He loves the security he gets when your in his arms even if only for a few seconds, the fact you're here. He'd never admit that though, you'd have to shoot him in the foot for him to explain his actions! He'd hug you as if he hasn't for days and let the feeling flow for a mere four seconds before parting and waving you goodbye nonchalantly (loser) heading to his class. He does this in public spaces too, he would randomly hug you from behind or such before letting go. Its never long enough to cause an issue or pause in his schedule, buts its long enough to leave a lingering feeling on your body.
RUGGIE BUCCHI - quick peck on the cheek!
Ruggie adores randomly planting kisses on you. Quick pecks of his lips against your skin, or capturing your own lips with his. Each one left leaving love like the effect of a needle. He had no shame with it either, most of the time it will be in the halls or in the open when he tracks you in the sea of people, (he could always find you in an ocean of faces) and leave a feathered kiss with care before leaving carrying on his day.
Almost all are impulsive ones, when he wants a kiss he will receive one no matter how currently far you are from him. His favorite is kisses because he feels the most from you. He can kiss you anywhere, he's greedy like that!
JACK HOWL - hold my hand sweetly
It’s a gentle touch, not one above the feeling of feathers falling into your hand. His thumb lightly tracing your palm in a relaxed manner. In most cases he holds your hand before he was going to fall asleep. A feeling of safety from your warmth knowing you’re right beside him, so he’ll randomly slip your hand in his. He adores simple things like this, it doesn't necessarily have to be long, even a small brush of the hand through a crowd will leave him pleased and give him motivation to carry on. Your warmth syncing with his as the skin makes contact, he doesn't mind holding it for long either. He'd hold your hand an entire day if you let him. He loves the feeling of yours slipped in with his.
This fic is based off the vignette where Sebek talks about how he would court someone he likes, as instructed by Lilia. I actually think Sebek would be such a devoted lover once he found someone he respected and liked enough to to pursue romantically :')
Your relationship with Sebek went from zero to a hundred within the blink of an eye.
One week he's yelling at you for breathing too close to his liege, and the next he's escorting you to all of your classes like a gentleman. All while yelling at everyone else for breathing too closely to you.
Okay. Perhaps that is a slight exaggeration. But the point still stands that you have a sneaking suspicion Sebek Zigvolt has developed a teensy bit of a crush on you. You came to this conclusion based on two key observations.
For starters, anytime you make the offensive mistake of carrying your own belongings in his presence, he makes it a point to snatch whatever it is from you. Which, at first you tried to protest. A big mistake.
"I am perfectly capable of holding my own stuff, Sebek. You really don't have to–"
The words didn't even have a chance to leave your mouth before the bag was removed from your shoulder at a speed so alarming, you would almost think the bag carried a weapon and not two measly notebooks and a can of tuna you had found on clearance for Grim.
"NONSENSE." Sebek loudly declared, making several nearby students jump a mile high. Sebek carefully slung your bag over his own shoulder, all while glaring you down as if you had personally offended his entire bloodline.
"You need not burden yourself with unnecessary physical exertion! This is but one of the many duties any respectable knight should carry out!" He held his head high, clearly not seeing reason. He was being ridiculous, and you couldn't help but narrow your eyes at him.
"Uh huh... well, thank you Sebek. However would I have carried that incredibly heavy bag without the help of a strong, trustworthy knight? I may have threw my back out." Your words were laced with sarcasm, yet Sebek only took your words as the highest of praises. His cheeks dusted pink, and he immediately turned his head away from you so that you couldn't see the proud look on his face.
"Of course you would have! Humans are such fragile creatures, after all." He came to an abrupt halt as you reached your classroom, opening the door for you and ushering you inside so he could drop the bag off at your seat before rushing to his own class.
You tried to ignore Ace and Deuce's shit eating grin as they enjoyed watching you and your new personal escort.
"Right then! I shall return after class to ensure you reach your dorm safely. DO NOT TRY AND PICK UP THIS BAG IN MY ABSENCE, I cannot allow for your back to give way! In the meantime, study diligently." His gaze fell upon the two Heartslabyul first years, and with a clenched jaw he barked out at them "AS FOR YOU TWO– REFRAIN FROM DISTRACTING THE PREFECT WITH YOUR USUAL FOOLISHNESS."
And with that, he made his exit. Leaving you to sink further in your chair as the entire class silently stared directly at you with wide eyes. Some of them were confused, others were entertained, and the rest had half a mind to ask you to "blink twice if you need help."
Ace was the first to break the silence.
"Huh! I didn't know you adopted a new dog, prefect! Have you tried teaching him to roll over yet?" You elbowed him in the side, making him flinch back. "Ouch–! Hey, not my fault you managed to rizz up the weirdest guy in the whole school. You're probably stuck with his shadow looming over you for life now, bro."
"It is a little strange to see Sebek giving you royalty treatment. It's not as bad as he is with Malleus, but still." Deuce chimed in, looking at you with more sympathy than Ace had. Though, he couldn't help but admit he was also pretty amused by the entire situation. You let out a groan, dropping your face into your hands.
"I don't know what I did to get here. But can we just drop it for now? I need to focus on something else or my head might explode."
Deuce nodded, agreeing to your wishes immediately. Ace hesitantly dropped the subject, but he was going to make sure to mess with you about this for months to come.
You were so cooked.
The second observation was arguably stranger. And possibly borderline creepy, had it been coming from anyone but Sebek.
You began receiving letters. Handwritten letters that spoke of you as if you were an angel sent to Twisted Wonderland from the divine themselves. At first, you had your doubts that they were actually coming from Sebek, and you almost wondered if someone was pulling a prank on you.
That is, until one of the letters came with a picture. Of him...smiling?
Dear Prefect of Ramshakle Dorm,
Someone has brought it to my attention that you may not be used to recieveing a physical missive from the heart. However. Though I often speak my mind without second thought...for some reason, when I come face to face with your everlasting radiance, I almost find myself unable to express what I truly wish to say to you.
This is no excuse on my part. You are most deserving and worthy of high acclaim. I will do better from here on out to shower you with all the words you must hear about yourself on a daily basis. This includes topics on your emotional strength, your kindness and generosity, your breathtaking beauty. And... your courage. Which you often seem to doubt that you have.
You see, I always find it hard to believe that someone who demonstrates such remarkable courage would often diminish their own worth. Yet, you continue to surprise me. I have decided that I must take it upon myself to correct this at once.
Most mere humans cower away in fear when faced with the disasters that have begun taking place in this school as of late. However, In order to assist your peers, you have put yourself in the face of danger multiple times, despite your lack of magic at that! (Much to my immense worry for you.)
You have the commendable heart of a warrior. Not of a cowardly human. Please remember this when you are feeling less than what you truly are.
I shall begin to wrap this missive up. There is more I would like to say to you, but I know some of it should be said in person. Just know that I admire you, greatly. Far more than what may be considered appropriate.
Inside this envelope, I have attached a photo of my smiling visage for your viewing pleasure. Do with the photo what you will. And perhaps, if you wished to send a photo of yourself back...I would quite enjoy that.
From,
Sebek Zigvolt of Diasomnia Dorm.
Your jaw was practically to the floor as you read the letter to the end. You couldn't believe your eyes.
Sebek wrote all of this for you?! You didn't know he could be so...
Endearing?
You pulled the photo out of the envelope, unable to stop the snort that came out the moment you laid eyes on it. The photo was a tad bit stiff, but he held an honest smile in what looked to be a picture that someone else took for him. Did he have an entire photo shoot for this? The mental image had you wanting to double over in laughter, but you tried to compose yourself. He had pure intentions, after all.
You smiled fondly as you reread the letter, before grabbing your camera and stepping somewhere into the best lighting you could find in the dorm. You'd give him the photo he wanted next time you saw him.
The following day, you felt nervous as you walked side by side with Sebek to the cafeteria. Well... "walked" was putting it lightly. With the way Sebek stood with his back standing impossibly straight, and his eyes scanning his surroundings as if he was waiting for someone to jump out at the both of you with an axe... once again, you felt more like royalty being escorted by their trusty guard dog than a student walking around the school hallways with a friend.
You kept sneaking glances at him through the corner of your eye, hand fidgeting with the envelope you shoved in your pocket, that held the photo you took for him.
And much to your dismay, you heart had begun doing something very inconvenient ever since you read his letter to you the night before.
Because the thing about Sebek was that he never lied or played around. Sure, he may seem to exaggerate sometimes, but you knew him well enough to know by now that whatever he said was exactly how he felt.
"You appear distracted." Sebek brought you out of your thoughts with a voice that was oddly gentle coming from him. "If something troubles you, you need only to say the word."
"No, no. Nothing like that." You attempted to reassure him, but you could tell he wasnt buying it by the way his brows furrowed together. "Actually..."
You pulled out the envelope from your pocket, hand shaking slightly as you held it out to him. His eyes widened for a brief moment, looking at you with uncertainty.
"This is for you." He blinked, breath hitching in his throat as he slowly reached out to accept the envelope like it was a sacred offering from Malleus himself.
"For me?!" You quickly nodded, suddenly very interested in the patterns on the floor's tiles. He carefully began to open the envelope up, and you refused to look up at his reaction.
What if he thought it was strange? Or that you were mocking him? He was so sincere, what if you–
"I SHALL RUN TO DIASOMNIA AT ONCE TO HANG THIS PHOTO UP!" You jumped at his sudden declaration, eyes snapping to look over at him. He held a wide smile on his face, holding the photo of you up like he was looking at a priceless artifact instead of you smiling inside of your dump of a dorm.
He turned the photo around, reading the words you scribbled on the back.
For your viewing pleasure.
"You uh– you don't have to hang it up, it might cramp your gothic style and Malleus bedroom theme you have going on. It was just a silly photo–"
"You and lord Malleus both hold great importance to me. I will treasure this photo until the day I cease my breath." He cast simple magic on the photo to keep it safe, before placing it in the pocket of his uniform. You let out a sigh, shaking your head fondly at his nonsense.
"If you say so. Can I come with you back to Diasomnia, then?" You felt him stiffen, before he took in a deep breath.
"Though I would be honored to take you, I instead have a request of you." He suddenly appeared bashful, and your head tilted in curiosity as the tips of his ears turned red. "I originally wanted to wait until I could take you back to Brair Valley for this, but Lilia told me that he had a change in his wisdom and that there was no time like the present to do this...so, prefect...if you would meet me on the courtyard's bench tonight when the clock strikes midnight...there is something I wish to tell you."
You felt your heart flutter nervously in your chest, stomach twisting as your mind raced with possibilities of what he may say.
Was he going to...
"With that, I will see you tonight if you accept!"
And before you could reply, he was gone. Taking the photo of you with him.
By the time night rolled around, you were a wreck.
"You've been pacing for twenty minutes!" Grim spoke between bites of the discount tuna you gave him, watching you with an unimpressed stare. "You're makin me dizzy over here."
"I can't help it, Grim! Sebek will be here in just a few minutes. What if he wants to tell me all of this is over? That his letters to me were a mistake and he never wants to carry a book or bag for me again ever in my feeble human existence?"
"Listen up, henchhuman! I'm only gonna say this once!" Grim suddenly declared, pointing a paw at you as he stood up like he was about to give you a grand speech for a pep talk. "Take it from me, the great love expert! You're way too good for that guy. There's no way he's just gonna up and leave you, unless he just wants to die alone. If anything, you should tell him to give you compensation for your time."
You looked at Grim through narrowed eyes. "Love expert my ass! I'm not asking him to pay me for going out with him."
Your gaze shifted to your watch, and with a heavy sigh, you flick your hand at Grim, shooing him off. "Alright. Time's up. Go hide behind a bush or something and DON'T say a word, or set anything on fire unless you want to be scrubbing the campus toilets for a month straight."
"You wouldn't–!"
"Crowley would love to put you on janitor duty again. Don't try me." Grim heeded your warning, for once.
You sat yourself down on the bench as midnight approached, your hands fidgeting with each other as you attempted to calm yourself down.
You knew you were overthinking.
Sebek may be considered rude to those who didn't know him well, but he wouldn't drag you all the way out here just to say something cruel and hurt your feelings. You knew he wouldn't.
So then why were you so...
"PREFECT!" You flinched, the man of the hour suddenly appearing before you. You couldn't help but notice how...polished he looked.
Did he style his hair more than usual? And his outfit...
You had to try and stop the amused smile from spreading on your face. He really went all out for this.
"Thank you for accepting my request to meet me here tonight." He cleared his throat, taking a seat on the bench beside you, with enough space in between you for a whole other person. You opened your mouth to comment on it, but he continued speaking.
"As of late, I've been thinking a great deal."
"Oh? How dangerous." You shot back to tease him, which he decided to ignore. But not before throwing you an unimpressed side eye.
"For many years, my life has had a singular purpose. To serve and protect Lord Malleus. To become a great knight, so that I could protect Briar Valley." That much you already knew. It wasn't like he didn't talk about that constantly. "My loyalty to him will never waver, for it is my greatest honor to stand at his side." You nodded, and then Sebek's voice softened.
"However, recently...my attention became divided. I found myself distracted with thoughts and feelings I had never experienced before. And at first I thought I must have grown ill."
Your heart stuttered, urging for him to continue. His gaze landed directly onto you, and very cautiously, he slid one of his hands into yours. They were rough and calloused...as well as a bit sweaty from what you assumed were nerves.
"But then Lilia informed me that the symptoms I was experiencing was...romantic affection. Towards you."
"Sebek, I–" you couldn't finish your thought. In all honesty, you were speechless. Of all people you could pull in Twisted Wonderland, you never would have guessed it would be him.
"I will admit, I did try to correct these feelings. But I failed. The situation only worsened, and soon I felt consumed by thoughts of you."
"Consumed, huh? Is that why you started stalking me everywhere?"
"I– STALKING?! I WAS ENSURING YOUR SAFETY, HUMAN!" You let out a laugh at how flustered he suddenly became, and Sebek sighed. You were impossible.
"If that's what you wanna call it."
Sebek may have looked annoyed at your teasing, but the way his thumb tenderly brushed the back of your hand was enough to tell you that he didn't mind. He adored you, hopelessly so.
"I admire you." He spoke out. "I often wondered to myself how someone with so little power in this world could possess the strength that you do. Every day I see you doing your best, even when everything seems against you."
"And...?" You were beginning to get impatient, waiting for the words you so desperately wanted to hear–
"And. I love you, prefect." He finally ripped the bandaid off, and you swore you could almost cry. "There is no one else who could be worthy of my affections in the way that you are. I do not expect you to feel the sa–"
You grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to you and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. His eyes widened, and you swore he looked like he was going to explode.
"I love you too, Sebek. Very much so."
And in the background, a very unimpressed Grim watched the scene unfold, unsure if he was happy for you or disgusted by all the mush he was witnessing.
He certainly wasn't looking forward to Sebek being at Ramshackle more often.
Dividers by priestboy
Do not steal or use my work for ai purposes. I will eat you.
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