Tall? Slender? Foreign? You, too, can model in Kunming.
Several of my friends make their living here doing occasional one-off gigs for wineries, clubs, and other businesses. Show up, look good, and leave with cash in hand.
You can imagine how excited I was when my friend texted me this morning inviting me out to a gig at a local club. We were asked to dance on stage for 5 minutes an hour for four hours. For this we'd make ~ $100.
I showed up looking sickening. I had on a simple black dress with gold jewelry and a cropped denim jacket. My friend looked equally flawless in a flowing black dress embelished with pearls.
When we showed up at the club, the agents introduced themselves: two Chinese women and a gentleman from Holland. All of them were very nice. We made small talk as we waited in the lobby for the client - the owner of the club.
He came to join us and immediately things were a little tense. He expected my friend and I to be dressed identically despite never having vocalized this expectation to the agent. (Foreshadowing!) My friend changed into a different dress and we were led into the club.
Lights were flashing and the bass was pounding, but the crowd wasn't dancing. A couple hundred people were seated or standing around small circular tables talking, smoking, and drinking.
When it was our turn to go on stage, we were introduced - for whatever reason - as "two beautiful Russian girls here to entertain us".
Flanked by two local dancers frantically contorting their bodies in a way that vaguely resembled hip-hop dancing, my friend and I did our best to dance to a song we had never heard before.
"Remeber," I told her before going on stage, "if you need a second to catch the beat, just channel Queen Bey and strut for a second. Don't be nervous. A couple body rolls and some booty shaking and it'll be over before you know it."
After a few minutes, the DJs thanked us, but it wasn't clear that we were supposed to leave the stage until he yelled, "HELLLOOO, GIRLS" and an agent dashed over to lead us to the booth downstage where the club owner was sitting with the other agents.
I slid into the booth next to one of the Chinese agents. She was listening as the other Chinese agent was speaking rapid Kunming dialect with the club owner, who was sitting with his hand over his face, shaking his head.
Over the course of the next enormously frustrating 45 minutes, I learned that the club owner was outraged about several things:
My friend and I didn't have matching outfits.
The outfits we had on weren't the correct style.
My friend and I didn't have a dance routine coordinated.
My friend and I didn't 'dance hip-hop'.
What do all of these things have in common?
The club owner never asked for them.
He wasn't interested in letting my friend and I try again. I was expecting to sleep over at a friend's house and had a change of clothes that were a bit more 'hip-hop style', but he wasn't having it.
Initially he offered us 100 RMB (a little over $10) each on the condition that we leave immediately. The agents were able to negotiate 250 RMB (~ $40) each over the course of 30 minutes - much of which were spent with the boss staring off into the distance "thinking" about the offer.
We left without saying a word to the club owner. In the time we were there, he didn't speak to or look at my friend or I. We weren't offered drinks aside from water, and weren't allowed to dance off-stage or mingle with club-goers.
The whole situation was infuriating. I was mad that my friend and I had wasted our time. I was mad that the agents were put into the awkward, lose-lose position of being mind readers. I was mad about the club owner and his arrogant attitude.
But, really, I made $40+ for an hour of sitting around smoldering with my friend, so... As with most things like that happen here, I just don't know what to make of it.
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
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