Hopefully, this would be the last time I'll say farewell. I've been so obsessed and acting dramatically because of you. You're someone I didn't expect I would fall for. You're not like the others, you're not the one I wanted. But because you're different from them, maybe that's why I loved you. It started as a joke. I teased you, flirted you, annoyed you, bothered you and so many things I did to you. But I didn't expect that I would take this act seriously. I was playing around and trying to get much of your attention [because I wanted you to notice me, I wanted you to take this act seriously as well]. Days passed by, I started realizing your worth, how badly I wanted you to be with me. I wanted to see you each passing day and if I didn't I would go insane, doing crazy things just to keep in touch with you. I had sacrificed a lot of things already. I gave you my time and attention even to come up with a plan on your birthday, I also did. I was not asking you to reciprocate what I did for you, neither the love I was giving you. But at the back of my mind, I was wishing that you would. 10 months have passed and most likely, half of the days on these months that we were together, we were fighting. I mean I was acting as your stupid boyfriend, demanding, arguing, fighting, etc. I did all of these because I did expect that one of those days, you would love me or you would give this damn relationship a try. But again, you didn't. I got hurt for the nth times already but I still held on on my wishful thinking that one day, everything will be alright. But, no. Sadly, no. Yes, no! I was being so stubborn that I didn't listen to advices of my friends to stop when I wasn't this deeply, crazily and madly in love with you. It seems that I can't get out from this thing I called 'unrequited love' but now, I stand firm and I believe that in time, I can get over you. For now, this would be hard because we're still seeing each other but when the time comes that we part ways, I know all the pain and hurt inside me will vanish. We can still be friends but not right after you broke my heart and tore me into pieces. Give me time because you know 'moving on' is another thing I'm not good at. I wished I didn't start this prank because at the end, I am the one who's hurting. Instead of having you, I lost you. Instead of loving me, you hated me. Instead of stopping, I pushed through. Now, I regret all of these except for the times you made me feel I was loved and the times I thought that there could be 'US'. Loving you isn't easy. Letting you go would not be easier. So does forgetting. I hope after bidding you goodbye, I will feel more relaxed and my burdens will be lighter. Today, I am cracking another joke that is, I don't love you anymore. I hope soon I would also take this joke seriously and I might be able to tell myself that I have already moved on. We may not be for each other but I thank you for coming into my life. You were the sweetest, cutest and the best I've ever loved. Thank you for the memories. Good memories will be kept, bad memories will be forgotten. You are a good and bad memory but still, lessons have learned. Thank you! I loved you for the last time and farewell bae! Sent 11:52pm, Jan. 10, 2015
