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Ian's 7th Birthday - HFM disease

Aug 1, 2019

It's been a while. Thought of writing this one because first time that my children contracted hand foot and mouth disease. 1st was Pierro who had a fever for 1 day and we thought it was because of cold but on 2nd day came the rashes on his feet, the next day on the palm of his hands, then on his elbows. Consulted his pedia who confirmed it's viral hfm disease.

Then yesterday, Ian's 7th birthday which we're supposed to celebrate in his classroom then swimming with family, he had slight fever. Still pushed through with the celebration in his school but the following day still feeling unwell, he had to miss the class again to rest. Rashes in his mouth started to appear tonight.

Heavy rain is pouring, hubby still on the road after accompanying his Dota team in the airport for their Davao boot camp trip.

So with all of these, I dont feel bad at all that plans for Ian's birthday didn't go well.

At least today Pierro is almost in full recovery, his food appetite is coming back, rashes are almost fading and not itching anymore. It's Ian turn this time.

Midlife Crisis?

The other day i was so succummed with the thought that i'm pregnant for the 4th time. I was 5 days delayed at least according to the app i'm using. Historically even 2 days delayed already meant pregnancy to me. So I was already welcoming that thought and mind was already thinking about my next plans, even started taking folic acid and bought preg kit. Yesterday though I got my period. Thank God He thought I also wasn't ready yet. Although I'm expecting to have 4 kids, i was hoping not yet this year when our income is just too stiff.

Now though, I'm still feeling down, not sure if it's because of work. Work is becoming tedious and a little stressful these past few days when i so far have been given 6 executives to support and 1 of them being so difficult to work with. I trust God though that He won't allow me to fail as I commit to doing my best everyday. For how long, that I'm not sure. I think i'm too old to be doing a stressful job. (just turned 36 last week)!

I feel like I should be doing more fun things, more interesting things, relaxing stuff, I feel too restricted with my life now, less enjoyable and just having too much responsibilities. Is this midlife crisis or i guess another feeling that shall also pass? Let's see...

Questioning Him again

Today my youngest son is sick. Tomorrow Nanay is flying for Samar for a short vacation and I’m left with no help at home. Forced to be absent tomorrow at work when just last Friday my Supervisor discussed about Attendance policy. Just before bed time Oldest son is having asthma attack. Too frustrated that my middle son also has to suffer from my bad temper was screamed at and wasn’t kissed goodnight. Yet another challenging battle and asking God again if His mercy is real. Why life is getting harder each day. Why his grace is so difficult to earn this past few months. I know this too shall pass but I can’t help but wonder if God is still favoring us? Or has He forgotten about Me?

Hands so Full

Today is yet another exhausting day. I had a very short night sleep to start with. A 4-hr interrupted sleep surely made this day more tiring. Was still raining in Cavite, headed to work and happy I made it on time despite my almost 2 hrs of travel to office in Taguig. Was still productive at work though and made the training exercises pretty well. After work, I braved the road again for another 2 hr trip back home. Prior to reaching home, had to run some errands. Quick grocery for kids’ baon and because I knew I couldn’t master any more strength to cook dinner, I ran to a fast food chain for our meal. Prepared dinner, washed the dishes and the rest of tidying up as usual. It’s exam week and because the inclement weather kept suspending the exam scheds I had to review the kids again. Prepared our clothes for tomorrow, had some usual discplining during bed time as kids were behaving as if they just had an energy drink while I could barely keep my eyes open. And so i finally hit the sack and hoping tomorrow will be a lot easier for me but then I’m a working mother without a maid to help out and so the tasks will just be on repeat for quite some time. Whew I sure hadn’t worked as hard as this.

alwaysrememberjesus

Keep Running

“Let us run with endurance the race.” — Heb 12:1 NKJV

Experienced runners know if they can just keep going, eventually they’ll get their “second wind.” Some refer to it as “runner’s high,” a release of adrenalin that makes you feel like you could run all day. So the word for you today is: Keep running until you get your second wind!

Paul says: “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and…run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of…God…consider Him who endured such hostility…lest you become weary and discouraged” (vv. 1-3 NKJV). Note the word “endured.”

Don’t let what’s going on around you sabotage what God’s doing within you. Generally speaking, your outlook is affected by what’s happening now. A drowning man isn’t too impressed with something good that’s going to happen tomorrow; he needs help today. Keep in mind that what you’re going through right now is temporary—so look for a turnaround.

In the Old Testament God told Isaiah, “Comfort my people…Tell them they have suffered long enough and their sins are now forgiven” (Isa 40:1-2 GNT). Then He went on to make them this wonderful promise: “The hills will become a plain, and the rough country will be made smooth. Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it. The Lord himself has promised this” (vv. 4-5 GNT).

Claim that promise for yourself today—and keep running!

kurtinamiles-blog

Just as I was about to write on this blog today “Sometimes you just want to stop trying” this passage hit me in my face upon opening tumblr so I had to reblog it. God is telling me to keep running 😥

Back to the workforce and in the metro as of yesterday june 26th as an Executive assistant at Ernst&Young in Mckinley Taguig a little far from the busier BGC. Shift is at 6:30AM, environment is so relaxed not because I’m still on training but because it normally is. Excited for what’s more to come.

alwaysrememberjesus

God’s Timing, Location, And Purpose For Your Life

“And has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord.” – Ac 17:26-27 NKJV

Let’s look at three phrases in this Scripture: (1) “And has determined their preappointed times.” Your parents may not have wanted you, but God did. He scheduled the moment of your birth, has a purpose for your life, and you are constantly on His mind. If that sounds too good to be true, read on: “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God” (Ps 139:16-17 NLT). And that’s a foundation to build your self-worth on!

(2) “And the boundaries of their dwellings.” God’s will for you requires being in the right place; that’s why He sets “boundaries.” Sometimes He will say, “Don’t go there, I want you over here,” or “Don’t stay here, I want you over there.” Because someone else goes somewhere and succeeds, doesn’t mean you will. “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives” (Ps 37:23 NLT). Include God in every detail of your life, for where He guides, He provides.

(3) “So that they should seek the Lord.” Every act of God in your life is designed to increase your dependence on Him. Every assignment He gives you will require His participation in order to succeed. With all his great talents, Paul acknowledged, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God” (2Co 3:5 NKJV).

kurtinamiles-blog

Spot On! Couldn’t get any more relevant than now.

Career choices

June 6, 2018 And so last week I started job hunting again after more than 1 year of being a full time housewife. This week I am fortunate enough to be accepted by 2 companies Micro S for Administrative Assistant role and E&Y for Executive Assistant role. I initially applied in Micro but E&Y was the first to confirm my application. So now I’m torn between the 2. Im actually hesitant to both because after going back and forth to their offices, comparing the commute here from Dubai, I realized how difficult commuting in the Philippines is. Ms is in MOA and EY is in Taguig and both are more than 40kms away from home. While I haven’t seen yet the offer of EY I feel that in the long term, it will do me more good choosing them instead of the other. While Ms offers me my expected salary I believe EY also won’t disappoint in terms of compensation. Besides, EY promises more job security than MS as almost all accounts there are project-based. Praying that I make the right decision and to stay motivated to work long term with my next employer. The 5:30AM sched though in EY...tsk tsk...

Love this passage to remind me especially during the difficult times when i honestly feel God isn’t being good to me. “God’s goodness is not something for me to decide upon. I am a human being with limited understanding.”

Devastated

Today hubby had a meeting with his ex employer in Dubai who we expected would rehire him and the meeting was supposed to discuss his new offer and I was just praying real hard that the salary offer would be attractive or at least higher than gis previous salary. Unfortunately, even an offer for a job or to rehire him didn’t happen. Employer apparently cannit afford to hire another one at this time because when he left almost 2 months ago he hired 2 employees for his replacement. Since he already turned down the new employer which he was supposed to work for after his previous one, he’s left with no work in Dubai and debt for the visa and ticket he needed to shoulder on his own. These and the fact that new school year is fast approaching and we don’t have any savings for the school expenses and enrollment. Back to zero. Feeling down right now i hope this shall pass real soon. Needing some encouragement so badly.

LDR once again

Earlier today hubby flew again to Dubai this time on visit visa because he resigned from his previous employer g.hm.e but after 1 and a half months decided to go back to them instead of going for the supposed new employer G.PN. Our goal this time is to secure a higher income with his return to Dubai and after a year God willing, to sponsor all of us and live with him while i homeschool the kids and i do part time job. That is the plan and with God’s grace we will make it happen. No more ifs and buts. I know it won’t be easy but I’m willing to walk on a tightrope just for us to be permanently together as a family. 🙏🤞👆 For now, i’m still worried how we can enroll our kids for the upcoming school year and our budget for the month of June.

A little worried

So hubby resigned from his previous employer to transfer to a new one who supposedly made a better offer but also a start up esports company in Dubai. He went back home for supposedly a short vacation maybe 2 weeks while waiting for the new employer to provide him money for his Ticket as he plans to go back to Dubai on visit visa. However, almost 3 weeks on vacation, the new employer kept delaying the ticket so hubby is pissed now and contacting the ex employer to get him rehired. Im not sure now whether the ex employer will let him come back as they may be questioning now his commitment to work with them again. We'll see how it goes meantime, im updating my CV and looking for possible jobs online coz i don't want to be penniless come enrolment time. Knowing myself, I could be grumpy if we don't have anything to cover our daily expenses. it will be a nightmare so I don't want us to get to that point.

Dear Husband,

No doubt I love you with all my heart and will do so forever. Tonight, however forgive me if i'm being sentimental. LDR is definetly difficult and I'm not sure if it's gonna get easier. So today as I go through the Social media Feeds and particularly sneak on the profiles of the wives or GFs of your colleagues or friends in Dubai, I can't help but compare myself with them especially with how special they are treated by their men. Of course I may be wrong after all not everything you see on social media is what it really is. I'm sure their relationships have their own set of flaws. But they had those moments. Those moments when the wives were treated special like dates on Valentine's, flowers, gifts on their birthdays, travel, etc. And i wonder don't I deserve them as well even just half of it. I know this is so wrong, that I should just be counting my blessings instead of looking for things that others have. But then again don't we have those moments when we compare ourselves with others and be selfish for awhile and not be judged?this feeling shall pass anyway so just let me be. I just feel less loved and wish that you could love me a little harder, a little louder. How can i blame you though, when i myself feel that i don't deserve it anyway. How i wish i do, can you at least pretend that I do deserve to be treated extra special? I wish I were that kind of woman who a guy would give an effort to feel extra loved and cared for. Don't get me wrong 'ney, you're a wonderful husband very responsible and kind but I wish you could give me those precious "Haba ng Hair ko" moments to at least let me know that I'm doing something good as your wife and mother of our children. I pray that I can also be that woman who deserves that kind attention and treatment. I'm sorry if i sound selfish and ungrateful. I promise to lessen my social media time and stop comparing my life with those women. I love you nonetheless.

The Dream Wedding Dress March 24, 2018 One TV show i've been constantly watching since I became a stay at home mom is Say Yes to the Dress. I'm still hopeful that 1 day i'll get to have my dream wedding dress. Although the wedding dress i wore during my wedding before was not that bad at all, our wedding wasn't really well planned and so i would change a lot of things to make a more remarkable 2nd wedding ceremony including a perfectly fitted and more flattering wedding gown. So i really want to have our wedding vows renewed most likely on our 25th anniversary but hopefully I would still have decent body shape by then. 😉👰🏻

Feb 28, 2018 Tonight during bedtime the kids and I prayed for this event being organized by our very own Papa. He has put so much effort and extended hours for this and 2 days before the start of the month-long event there are still bumps going on with the teams. I have faith though that whatever happens, he will come out strong after this because I know he did his best and I've never seen him this passionate about his job. Although his resignation is inevitable until end of March, he wants to prove to himself that he can pull off such project and though I doubt him at times, I believe in him this time, I know he can do this. I wish I could be there to support him and see him succeed, for now we'll just pray and support him from afar. 🙏💪🏼🤞

I've been seeing a lot of long gowns lately, it's Prom month after all. Then I started imagining again myself wearing the most perfect long dress for me and I wonder, at my age, having been married for almost 12 years, with 3 children and currently a full-time homemaker, will there still be a chance that I could wear a long elegant, gown with the best hair and make up I could ever wear in my life? This is still one of my ultimate dreams ☺️ and i pray that i still have that chance whether wearing it in a friend's wedding as a bridesmaid, in a company event or any other occassion as long as I still look young and gorgeous it would be really great.

Feb 14, 2018 Ash Wednesday/Valentine's day. Post Church look. LDR again on V-day 📷 Pierro

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