🌙 soft grundge time shenanigans 🌙

[Independent Private Saniwa-Admiral OC.]

[kusoaruji]

Ok, Hasebe, I’m going back to my room.  To have a snack, probably stress cry.  I’m five years old.

[kusoaruji]

(You continue assaulting the PISS can as you start to catch up to him again. You round the corner, and it's a dead end! But he continues to rush straight towards the wall! Hasebe skids to a stop moments before impact, but the PISS can continues -- and -- just goes straight through the wall? That's some magical shit. The smell of febreze and piss is left behind as the fiend disappears. He is gone... for now.)

AND STAY THE FUCK OUT!  YOU’VE MESSED WITH ME FOR THE  LAST TIME!

NO PISS FOR BAD BOYS!  BE GONE!

-She’s, like, still throwing quartz at the wall.  She might be sniffling.-

[kusoaruji]

shumeitoaraba replied to your post: (You throw some expensive caltrop chunks into the...

M-Master, please, those are very expensive chunks you’re throwing!

THEY’RE HONESTLY WORTH MORE LIKE THIS THAN ME BEING UPSET. THIS IS THE MOST JOY THEY’VE EVER FUCKING BROUGHT ME SINCE EVEN TRYING TO GET A SERVANT.

[kusoaruji]

(You throw some expensive caltrop chunks into the path of the intruder, causing him to make a wacky "wahahaha!!" sound of alarm as he starts to slip and slide on them. However, there's another trick up his sleeve. Just as Hasebe closes in, some miniature rockets appear from the back of the PISS robot and propel him forward! When did he get roller skates on his feet!? This is cheating. But that voice. That voice sounded familiar.)

SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS MARIO KART 8 SHIT? 

-That magnificent Wilhelm Scream, though, she rates it pretty high.-

IS THAT ASSHOLE COMING TO TAUNT ME AND WANTING TO EAT MY BABIES?  IS IT THAT MEMEKO-SAN’S FLOWER BITCH HERE TO MAKE FUN OF ME?  I TOLD YOU YOU CAN’T HAVE MY SOUL LAST TIME YOU CAME TO MAKE FUN OF ME!

-She’s now just throwing wads of quartz just at the trash can.  Hopefully no hazard for Hasebe himself but holy shit.-

RATE UP HAVING JERK DICK!  YOU WANTED MY LIVER LAST WE SPOKE? WELL YOU CAN HAVE DEEZ.

-This might be an excellent time for her to vent?-

DEEZ NUTS.

[kusoaruji]

(You chase after the PISS bot as it makes its way to your room! Upon realizing it's being spotted, though, it beep boops in great alarm and. Suddenly sprouts legs? Those are some long leggys! It's racing as fast as it can away from you! Even when Hasebe runs Naruto style, it's difficult to catch up!)

HASEBE, WHAT IN THE FUCK.

-She’s leaning forward against Hasebe, holding on tighter as he channels some sort of ninja clan.-

I’VE GOT A PLAN, KEEP GOING! 

-She just starts throwing quartz at it--trying to pitch it over the piss bot so they’re like horrible rainbow caltrops that cost 0.99 USD when bought individually.  Like horrible Legos.-

[kusoaruji]

shumeitoaraba‌:

Your faith in me warms my heart, Master…No, more than warms. It lights a burning flame in my heart, one that reaches my very soul!

Master!!

-He holds onto her. Hugs her. She may be soft serv Mahina at the moment, but he will cherish and smother her with smooches and reassurance.-

Then let’s catch that piss bot!

Let’s go!

-He puts her on his back piggyback style and is off to the races!!-

Well, I guess that solves it--

-LOFTED RIGHT UP.  SECURED.  SHE HOLDS ONTO HIM.-

Whee--!

[kusoaruji]

shumeitoaraba‌:

-Oh no oh no oh no oh no. He quickly grasps her to keep her from sinking like the Titanic.-

N-No, I’m sure that’s not the case. Not only is your magic the best magic in the world, it’s patrolled by several dozen swords and ships at all times! I-I’m positive it couldn’t be an intruder after all. You’re right, it must have been Tsurumaru…

Just playing a friendly prank?

One I should have thought of first…

-She’s like jello, but soft.  Like a bunch of ice cream, maybe.  She’s saved for now.-

That’s what I’m thinking...  I suppose...

I mean, then again...

If you’re really worried about it?  You can catch it?  You’re the fastest guy here, on par with Shimakaze...?

A piss bot wouldn’t win to you!  You’re the best!

[kusoaruji]

shumeitoaraba replied to your post: (YOU STARTLE THE PISS MACHINE, AND IT BEEP BOOPS...

Wait, we should go after it! It could be an intruder?

I’m pretty sure that it’s friendly if it’s here just asking for piss.  I keep barriers and stuff on this place on fucking lockdo...

--She just pauses before starting to sink onto the floor.-

... U-Unless maybe I’m so out of practice and really am bad with magic at the end of the day since I’ve lost my blessings that this place is just now got a magic barrier akin to swiss fuckin’ cheese and I’m a fraud.

Maybe it was Tsurumaru?

[kusoaruji]

(YOU STARTLE THE PISS MACHINE, AND IT BEEP BOOPS FRANTICALLY AS IT MAKES ITS MAD ESCAPE, SHUFFLING RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.)

.............................................................................................

O-Okay.

F-Farewell,  Piss Machine.

I might just pretend that never happened.

[kusoaruji]

shumeitoaraba‌:

Ah, I wondered where my jacket w–

……….

I don’t like it.

It was me, Mahina.

But no, for real, I thought you were trying to cheer me up and you just.  

-Motions to the trash can.-

I mean, I know how the stars are aligned today and I’ve absolutely passed on disappointment today.  So no need too worry.

...

I don’t want you to do an ol’ cabnet crush like Nobunaga had you do but...

-She comes over and just.  Taps the can with her foot.-

You think one of the gang went mad scientist?

[kusoaruji]

shumeitoaraba replied to your post: (Some +W+ eyes shine in the darkness of the...

You were calling, Master?

So, uh... 

-She motions to the bedazzled trash can.-

[kusoaruji]

Did one of the girls make a piss bot

[kusoaruji]

(Some +W+ eyes shine in the darkness of the trashcan. An ominous aura seeps out of it. You're pretty sure that's not Hasebe.)

H-Hasebe...?

Hasebe would have been more excited since I’ve stolen his jacket and all... 

Um...

[kusoaruji]

(The trash can beeps softly twice and shuffles closer towards you. The PISS arrow lights up and blinks like a shitty Las Vegas motel sign.)

I’m--I’m frankly impressed with your electrician skills, getting a lit up piss sign?

Or are you really just a thirsty little flower tonight...?

[kusoaruji]

(There's a rustling from the PISS machine, but it does not respond.)

I-Is this another cosplay, Hasebe?  Is...

Is the stress getting to be too much?

One beep for yes, two beeps for no.

[kusoaruji]

(Well, it does say PISS on it, but with an arrow pointing to the top. The beep boops get quieter as you approach, as if trying to subtly get your attention without actually making you feel concerned.)

Uh...

Hasebe?

[kusoaruji]

(A poorly decorated trash can appears in your room, making quiet beep boop noises.)

.........................

-Is it the PPISS Computer.-