Keeping Up With The Kontinuity Errors

A weekly look at manufactured realities and lies in the hit television series, "Keeping Up With the Kardashians". Using Twitter, Instagram, paparazzi photos and common sense - I will unearth the truths, timeline falsities, and reckless use of editing presented throughout the show.

[kuwtke-blog]

KUWTKE POSTS

Hey Dolls! 

My team and I are working on filing all of season 11′s #KUWTKE posts onto Tumblr in the coming week. I also have a surprise that I’ve been working on for you all! 

In the meantime, catch up with the posts over at Jezebel. 

Chat Soon, 

Mariah <3

[kuwtke-blog]

That Was Then This Is Now

Hi Dolls! 

Check out the latest post on Gawker! It will be reposted here, along with the last few posts from Season 10 later this week. 

Moving forward, be sure to watch this space each week for updates and stay tuned for some very special surprises! I’m working a a little something special, so also send me any questions you may have about my process writing the blog or any other Kardashian specific things. 

Chat soon! 

Mariah 

[kuwtke-blog]

It Feels Good To Be Home

Hi! 

The newest re-cap is up on Gawker. See you in a couple of days for the #repost. #TellBubbaAboutMe

<3 

Mariah 

[kuwtke-blog]

Mother Armenia

Episode 14

Hello again, dolls! The break has been fab, but I’ve got a new outfit, new notebook, and new errors, and I’m ready for the first day of school. There’s no time like the present to get to work, so let’s dive in and uncover all we missed over the summer. We can kiss when it’s done. #LetsHitIt

On Sunday night’s episode, our A-plot was Kim and Khloe’s trip to Armenia, our B-Plot was Kylie’s teenage ways, and our C-plot was Kris Jenner’s sadness. Like most things, only the Ace matters, so we’re picking the A-plot for this recap.

Scene 2:

Kim Kardashian West, of www.KimKardashianWest.com, visits her youngest Kardashian sister Khloe Kardashian (née Odom, née Kardashain), of www.KhloeWithAK.com in Khloe’s closet. Armed with day old fro-yo, Kim asks Khloe about their upcoming trip to Armenia. Khloe is packing, and Kim reminds her to pack for colder weather and conservatively because they will be bringing a lot of attention to the country. Khloe predicts that she, Kim, North and Kanye will “rule that town.” Khloe’s prediction and Kim’s eating of sprinkled fro-yo were filmed on May 10, 2015.

Scene 3:

At her own home, Khloe gets a visit from Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner, arrives frenzied and pressed to force Rob into going to Armenia with his sisters who leave that night. Khloe reminds her mom that she told her he was not going. Khloe tells Kris that it would be great if Rob could join them, but they don’t want to force the issue. We’re super proud of Khloe because forcing the issue seven weeks after the trip had taken place would have been a travesty. This scene was filmed on June 30, 2015, nearly two months after Khloe began packing for, and presumably went to, Armenia.

Scene 4:

The most famous Armenian girls in the world finally touch down in Yerevan, Armenia. They are joined by notable musician and fashion designer, Kanye West, along with his child kin, North West. Immediately upon arrival, Kim, Khloe, Kanye, and North are greeted with song, bread, and what appears to be every single person who was free in Armenia that night. What’s even more impressive is the spectacular manipulation of time both Kim and Khloe were able to create. Instead of going to Armenia straight from Calabasas, California, Kim and Khloe visited the future, considering that they touched down in Armenia over a month before Khloe had packed a single item of clothing for the trip. This scene was filmed on April 8, 2015.

Scene 5:

All dolled up with various places to go, Kim chats with Khloe in their Armenian hotel room before they paint the town Kardashian. Kim’s face doesn’t move, but her eyes dance and her mouth tells Khloe that she’s expecting baby number two. Kim’s pregnancy news is only the secondary piece of information she has for Khloe. Kim literally sits Khloe down, and tells her now that she’s pregnant Khloe has got to step up her game and be the Sexy Kardashian. According to Kim, Kourtney is just flat out unsexy now, and what with her being pregnant, Khloe’s all they got. Gotta love family! This scene was filmed on April 9, 2015.

Scene 9:

One of Kim and Khloe’s stops in Armenia finds them at a carpet factory where they are served a private dinner, receive a private fashion show, try on traditional Armenian garments, compare themselves to storybook monkeys, and dance. Kim even took a necklace right off the body of an entertainer. Just great, simple fun. This scene was filmed on April 12, 2015.

Scene 12:

By the grace of Nori and Kim’s unborn son, Kanye West allowed the E! crew to film the pilot of his new show Keeping Up With Kanye as he visited young Armenian musicians. Per Kanye’s request, this scene was shot like Stanley Kubrick, and we got deep insight into his fears of 3D printers and the internet. What Kanye isn’t afraid of is the word, “dope,” which he said approximately 50 times, and for which we are grateful. This scene was filmed on April 9, 2015.

Scene 21:

In the final scene, Kim and Khloe visit the Armenian Genocide Memorial with Kanye and their kousins, Kourtni and Kara. It’s always comforting to see our entertainers bring attention and context to historical events, but it’s even greater to see this documented via Instagram via a full screen graphic on a cable television reality show. Thank you E! and thank you Kim Kardashian West. We remember, we Instagram. This scene was filmed on April 10, 2015.

Well, Dolls, I’ve got to Dash because that’s my time. Come see about your girl next week for another re-cap of KUWTArmenianPrincessAndKhloe on KUWTKE. #PrintedShoes

As promised, below is a little special surprise from me to you. Enjoy! See you in a few day! 

[kuwtke-blog]

Mother Armenia

Hi! 

 We're back and we're live! Head on over to Gawker for the latest post but make sure to come back later this week for the re-post and some special surprises. 

Enjoy! 

<3

Mariah

[kuwtke-blog]

In the Blink of an Eye...

Episode 13

On Sunday Night’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the A-plot was the Kardashian/Jenner kids wrapping up their Montana vacation; the B-plot was Kris Jenner following Kendall Jenner to Paris; the C-plot was Kim’s struggle to get pregnant; and the D-plot was everyone’s final night of happiness before realizing we could never slay like Caitlyn MF-ing Jenner.

In this re-cap we will refer to Caitlyn as Bruce, as this episode aired before she stunted on American civilization as we know it and officially slayed the game as Caitlyn. #LetsGo

Scene 2:

The Montana Crew is still in Montana. Kim lounges in the bed when Khloe comes in to apologize about their fight the night before. Khloe doesn’t apologize for a specific thing, but instead asks Kim to apologize for what she said. Confused, Kim chooses to apologize for saying Khloe has bad style, but doesn’t commit to the apology when she criticizes the sweats Khloe is wearing. The outfits and glam on Kim and Khloe are the same ones we will see later this episode when they leave Montana, so we know that this was filmed on February 21, 2015.

Scene 7:

Kim, Kourtney, and Jonathan play cards at their estate in Montana. Before getting down to a game of Gin, Kim recalls a Pictionary game she played with the entire Jackson family, “including Janet” when she was 15. She claims she picked the word “angel” and she drew it so well, that Jermaine and Janet were jumping up and down shouting out “angel,” winning them the point. Unfortunately for Kim, the other team saw the card and told her it was “angle,” not “angel.” So, ever since then, Kim has had a “thing” about angel/angle. It’s not all sad though, since she was given the point out of pity. Silly, Jacksons!

The trio finally play a game of Gin, and talk about Scott’s anger issues/the almost car accident earlier that day (Episode 12, Scene 25). Kourtney says she spoke with Scott earlier, and that he feels horrible about getting so angry over the situation. Kourtney doesn’t seem that affected by Scott’s rage, even though he’s been making a lot of progress recently with keeping his anger in check. An emotional flare up like this is definitely something super chill, especially when you have three young kids. So super beyond on the farthest point of chill. Kim’s stroll down name drop lane, and Kourtney’s Gin win, was filmed on February 20, 2015.

Scene 9:

Jetsetter, Kris Jenner, touches down in Paris! It’s Paris Fashion Week, so of course Kendall Jenner is there as well. The two head to lunch. Kris smiles, asks questions, and tries to engage with her child, while Kendall looks off, avoids eye contact, and answers with single syllables. Kendall and Kris’ lunch was filmed on January 24, 2014.

Scene 13:

Reeling from their crazy fun lunch, Kris Jenner and Kendall Jenner enjoy dinner in Paris. Kris compliments Kendall’s bangs in a recent Vogue spread, and Kendall huffs and puffs that contrary to what her text messages say, bangs are not her thing. Sensing Kendall’s agitation, Kris tries to steer the conversation away from Kendall’s non-existent bangs. 

In one of the saddest moments in KUWTK history, Kris asks budding supermodel, Kendall Jenner if she knows who Twiggy is. Kris, a woman who claims to have raised smart, able-minded, critical thinking, successful, children, asks one of said children if she knows an icon within her field of work. Thankfully Kendall knows who Twiggy is, or according to her hand motion, she knows the CliffsNotes version: eyelashes.

Kris tells Kendall that she’s excited for London Fashion Week, and this sets Kendall off. Like a moth drawn to an expensive flame, Kris just can’t let her kids be and they hate it. Kendall gets real emotional and tells her mom, “let me miss you.” WOW. We need this etched out in a cursive font with a Lo-Fi Instagram filter, so we can re-post it with the tiny cough emoji to coyly grab the attention of our love interests. Kendall’s monologue about love, goodbyes, and the art of feelings was filmed on January 24, 2015, the same day she and Kris went to lunch in Scene 9.

Scene 14:

The Montana Crew is still in Montana, and they all listen in on a phone call between Kim and her psychic, John Edward. He’s a close friend, and one of Kim’s advisors, so she calls to ask about her chances of getting pregnant. He tells her that she can’t stress about conceiving, but instead needs to visualize walking with a child and North playing with a younger sibling. John also tells Kim to focus on energy, and know that when the energy is right for Kim and Kanye to be that child’s parents, it will happen. Also, astrologically, the time has to be right.  Kim’s psychic phone call was filmed on February 18, 2015.

Scene 16:

The Montana Crew finally packs up and leaves Montana. Kim is in a rush to get out of the state because she has a doctor’s appointment that she can’t miss scheduled for soon after they land in California. In the rush to get everyone out of the house and onto the plane, Khloe, Kylie, Kim and North leave ahead of the group.

Unfortunately, a truck passing them blows snow onto their SUV, which knocks the car onto black ice and sends it spinning into oncoming traffic. Thankfully for the future of KUWTKE, Khloe got control of the car and they skidded into a ditch and were safe. Everyone is shaken up, but Kim is far more emotional than her sisters. She calls Kanye and uses “I Statements” to tell him what happened in the accident and how it affected her. Kim says “our,” “we,” and “us” one time, and “North” zero times. Kim, we’re happy that you’re okay! Kim’s car accident was filmed on February 21, 2015.

Scene 20:

At Kourtney’s house, Kourtney, Khloe, and Scott talk about breastfeeding other people’s children. Kim arrives in her (then) new bleach blonde look. Kourtney asks the group if they heard about Bruce’s upcoming surgery. Khloe makes a “yes” noise, and no one else responds. We assume it’s because the group is tuckered out from filming for five months, as this appears to be the final day on production on the first half of Season 10 for Scott, Kourtney, and Khloe. This scene was filmed on March 13, 2015.

Scene 21:

Kim visits her doctor, Dr. Rosen, to see how close she is to ovulating. She’s told that she’ll be ovulating in about 4 days, on a Saturday. Even though Kim is “over it” when it comes to stressing about getting pregnant, Dr. Rosen tells Kim to come back on Friday so that they can give her a trigger shot, and then 6 days later Kim can complete another round of IVF. Because Dr. Rosen is so thorough, we can confidently say that this filmed on March 17, 2015.

This was the first Tuesday of March that Kim was in Los Angeles with blonde hair. The Friday following was March 20, 2015, meaning Kim would have gotten her trigger shot then, and embryos would have been implanted on or around March 26, 2014, 13 days before Kim told Khloe she was pregnant on April 9, 2015 in Armenia (in the teaser, both Kim and Khloe are in this glam when when Kim “announces” her pregnancy). This means Baby #2 was conceived in late March and Kim is looking at a December delivery*. Congrats, Kim! We are really looking forward to this!

*When originally posted on Gawker, our math was a bit off. We didn’t want to tell you all this, but we flunked out of Med School. Our biggest issue was being 100% unqualified and our secondary issue was mathematics. Please keep our future educational endeavors in your thoughts. 

Well, Dolls, turn up that Vitamin C and think of me at night. These past 13 weeks have been a blast and I can’t wait to share some more Kontinuty Errors with you all later this month. Stay tuned to this space for more KUWCaitlyn Jenner’s acquaintances re-caps/updates on KUWTKE! #LetMeMissYou

[kuwtke-blog]

In the Blink of an Eye...

Hello! 

Yet again, this week’s #KUWTKE post is on Gawker until tomorrow afternoon. Enjoy it there and come back here tomorrow to check it out as well.

Love u. 

Mariah 

[kuwtke-blog]

Moons Over Montana

Episode 12

On Sunday Night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the A-plot was the family’s yearly vacation; the B-plot was Khloe and Kylie bonding; and the C-plot was Kim’s stinginess. Follow me, and let’s go! 

Scene 2: 

Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie all head out for a casual dinner. After Kylie explains a nightmare she had where she kept waking up saying “Kourtney,” Kourtney urges the table to all seriously think about going to therapy. She finds it helpful because in their family they’re all so busy that they “can’t think about what’s happening sometimes.” Kendall doesn’t have an issue with therapy, but Kylie does. Kylie feels that you shouldn’t go to therapy “unless you’re the one asking for it,” so she won’t be going. When speaking to the camera in a confessional during this scene, Kourtney says that her mention of therapy is due in part to Bruce’s transition being public. Very curious, since this was filmed on November 17, 2014; 5 months before Bruce officially went public with his transition on 4/24/15, and about 2 months before all the girls even learned Bruce was going to transition on 1/19/15.

Scene 3: 

At Khloe’s house, Khloe and Kim play with a pair of binoculars that belonged to their father, Robert Kardashian Sr. Once the two are done looking at close range things with with a far range optical device, Kim sighs that she “just wants to go skiing.” Khloe doesn’t think it’s “aligned in the cards” for them to do a big family trip this year because there’s been too much craziness going on. After a quick search on her phone, Kim decides that they should all go skiing in Big Sky, Montana. Like a race of words, both Khloe and Kim boldly state that they’ve never been to Montana. Wow, short-term memory really isn’t what it used to be. This scene was filmed on February 23, 2015; two days after Kim and Khloe returned from their trip to Montana on 02/21/15.

Scene 5:

Khloe, Kourtney, Kim, Scott, Kids and Staff all board their private jet to Montana. Kourtney debuts baby Reign on KUWTK, and Kim debuts the back of North’s neck. Of course, Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika is there; and Kim’s friend Jonathan, along with Kylie, will meet them in Montana. Khloe asks Kim what the sleeping arrangements are looking like for Malika and Jonathan. Kim tells Khloe that she booked her boy Jonathan a hotel room nearby, and that Malika can either share a bed with Khloe or sleep on the couch. Khloe’s upset that Kim booked her company in a lavish hotel, but regulated Malika to a pull-out. At the end of Khloe’s day, Malika is not going on the couch, and Kim needs to figure something out quickly. This was filmed on February 18, 2015. 

Scene 7:

After de-planing and caravanning to their rental, the Montana Crew pulls up to the house -- pardon us, estate -- that couldn’t accommodate Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika. Kimberly Noel Kardashian West, you mean to tell us that Malika couldn’t sleep in one of the five bedrooms, the “lounge by day, bunk room by night,” or the theater room? Or perhaps you could have not invited more people than you could comfortably house? Just some thoughts!

Two people who have a place to lay their heads that night, Kylie and Jonathan, arrive to the estate. Kylie immediately finds her bed and retires to it with her brown paper bag. Like Scene 5, this was filmed on February 18, 2015.

Scene 10:

The Montana Crew kicks back at the estate, laughing about familial spin the bottle, black and white double sided dildos, and one of their friends still not knowing where they will sleep later that evening. Though she wasn’t promised it, Everybody's Favorite Best Friend, Malika, speaks her blessing and says she is going to be staying in the hotel room that night. Kim brings her back down to earth, saying that the hotel is fully booked and the only room available is the penthouse suite. But get this, even though Kim promised the room to Jonathan, the group decides that Jonathan and Malika can compete for the room with a game of charades. This episode of Always the Bridesmaid and Never the Bride, Even Though Our Best Friends Are Multi-Millionaires With A Lot of Influence was filmed on February 18, 2015.

Scene 11:

Jonathan comes to see Kim in her room, and asks her if the rumors about Bruce are true. When Kim confirms that what he’s heard is correct, Jonathan asks a lot of follow up questions to last week’s episodes. In short: the family is adjusting, Bruce is very happy, the family has each other, and everyone will be alright. This very informative and not at all contrived conversation was filmed on February 20, 2015.

Scene 12:

The Montana Crew plays charades to see if Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika or Jonathan gets a bed. With Khloe on Jonathan’s team and Kim on Malika’s, this seems like a very fair, diplomatic game. After a few rounds, Jonathan wins the room and asks Malika to get his bags for him. Malika, good sis: Dash Dolls got picked up! You don’t have to do this anymore! RUN!!! Malika’s loss was filmed on February 18, 2015.

Scene 14:

Kylie and Khloe get ready to hit the slopes, and Kylie mentions a tram she wants to go on that takes you to the highest peak of the mountain. Khloe is terrified, but goes because it’s going to make Kylie happy. They have to take multiple trams to get to the top of the mountain, which isn’t even visible from lower peaks. Luckily for Khloe, the conditions are too bad for them to go all the way up, so they have to ditch this plan. Khloe and Kylie (try to) Take the Highest Peak was filmed on February 20, 2015.

Scene 17:

After their failed attempt at skiing on the highest peak, Kylie calls Khloe into her room to talk about heli-skiing/boarding. In her confessional, Kylie says she’s determined to go to the highest peak since the tram ride didn’t work out in Scene 14. Oddly enough, Kylie asks Khloe to go heli-skiing before they even rode the trams, because this was filmed on February 18, 2015, the same day the Montana Crew arrived, and before they did any skiing at all.

Scene 21:

Kylie and Khloe go heli-skiing. Khloe is panicking, and Kylie is chilling like she does this everyday. After hopping off the helicopter, Kylie and Khloe engage in some winter sports on the mountain. Khloe has some difficulties staying upright, but eventually gathers herself for a nice time with Kylie. Khloe and Kylie (actually) Take the Highest Peak was filmed on February 19, 2015, the day before they couldn’t make it to the top of the mountain via trams in Scene 14. Their intuition must be out of this world!

Scene 23:

Khloe plays pool with Jonathan and asks him to apologize to Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika for being rude to her. Apparently, Jonathan told Malika she was jealous of him because he snagged the more famous friend. Jonathan clarifies his comments, and claims he said that he got the hotel room because Kim was more famous than Khloe. Ahhh, much better. Kim adds on to Jonathan’s comment, saying she took care of her friend and expected Khloe to do the same for Malika. Khloe’s now pissed, because Kim booked the estate without telling her there wouldn’t be room for Malika. Kim isn’t having it and accuses Malika and Khloe of having an inferiority complex and insinuates that Khloe keeps Malika around to showboat and entertain her. Kim, don’t be fucking rude! This scene where Kimberly Noel Kardashian West, mother of a biracial child, accused a black woman of putting on a show for a white woman and calling it friendship, was filmed on February 20, 2015; the same night the Montana Crew celebrated Jonathan’s birthday.

Scene 25:

Scott is driving Jonathan, Malika, Kourtney and Khloe when he gets caught behind an SUV that keeps hitting the brakes. Scott, caught between this SUV and a 16-wheeler, almost has a major accident when the SUV stops abruptly, nearly causing the 16-wheeler to rear-end his car. Scott is PISSED so he pulls up next to the SUV, yells, and spits. Due to proximity and what we believe to be physics, the spit does not land on the driver of the other SUV, but on Jonathan. Oh well. This was filmed on February 20, 2015.

That’s it for today, dolls! See you next week for our mid-season finale KUWTSnow Bunnies re-cap on KUWTKE. #DontBeFuckingRude

[kuwtke-blog]

Moons Over Montana

Hi! 

Like last week, Sunday night’s KUWTKE re-cap is on Gawker until tomorrow. Check it out there and then come back to check it out here! 

<3 

Mariah 

[kuwtke-blog]

About Bruce

Before we get to tracking errors, I want to thank some people who have helped make KUWTKE a success.  

A big thank you to Ashley Butkowski  - my amazing graphic designer who made my gorgeous logo! Ashley, you’re a true queen and everything you touch turns to gold. 

Another thank you to my phenomenal editors Lauren Smith and Rachel Smith. If it were not for them, KUWTKE would be nonexistent. I know it’s only a blog, but you both inspire me to make this the best blog it can possibly be. I’m so honored that you each take the time every week to look over my tiny words, it means more to me than you know! 

I also have to thank all of the people who have promoted KUWTKE in the press. Everything with that is wonderful and well and lovely. 

And finally, I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read KUWTKE. I’m so happy you’re all enjoying it! 

-Mariah 

Episodes 10 & 11

On Sunday and Monday night’s episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians: About Bruce, the A-plot was Bruce’s transition; the B-plot was the KUWTKE staff picking up their emotionally drained bodies off the floor; and the C-plot was Kim Kardashian’s mission to come for every Civil Rights activist’s wig.

Like episodes in the past: KUWTKE will refer to Bruce using male pronouns until he decides to publicly slay the madam/sis/queen/female pronoun game. #LetsDoIt

Part I:

Scene 1/Cold Open:

At Khloe’s house, Kim visits and watches Khloe pack presents for Bruce. Thankfully, after 10 long seasons, E! finally put chyrons up to let us know who Kim and Khloe were! We were so confused this whole time! Khloe got Bruce shoes, because he told her “She” doesn’t have enough. That may be true and all, but we really hope the jumping off point isn’t a a red patent leather, ankle strap pump or a mid-calf, lace-up, black leather boot. This was filmed on January 7, 2015.

Scene 2: 

Khloe visits confirmed Republican Bruce Jenner at his house in Malibu. E! gifted us with another chyron, showing the actual, real, live date this scene was filmed!! As per E!’s gift, we know this was filmed on January 13, 2015.

Khloe has her gifts for Bruce but admits that she doesn’t know Her tastes yet. Bruce says he doesn’t really know Her tastes either. He’s beyond appreciative of Khloe’s gesture, and opens the gifts. The great news for Bruce is that Khloe went back to the drawing board and got Her some sleeker and better looking heels that even match Khloe’s.

Kendall arrives, and Khloe gets down to some serious talk. She asks Bruce if he feels better now that more people know about his - as Khloe understands it at this time - desire to dress like a woman. Bruce tells his daughters that it’s like a burden has been lifted.

Scene 3:

Still at Bruce’s house, Kendall leaves to get a tissue, and Khloe follows her into the kitchen. Bruce comes in shortly after. Bruce tries to reiterate that that he’s not abandoning them, and that he’s not going anywhere. Khloe interjects and tells him that his lack of honesty is hurting them. Before she can say too much, Bruce gives Khloe the honesty she’s seeking and says he really only cares about Kendall and Kylie’s emotions. Welp. Had it not been for the Tribal Council music playing in the background, you could have heard one of Her ponytail holders drop in Bruce’s kitchen.

               Khloe when she finds out Bruce doesn’t eff with her emotions.

      Kendall when she finds out Bruce effs with her emotions, but not Khloe’s.

Choosing to move forward, Khloe tells Bruce that they’re all passionate and emotional. She advises him to hold a family meeting with his children. He agrees. Like Scene 2, this was filmed on January 13, 2015.

Scene 4: 

Kim visits Bruce, with what looks like North’s purse. Bruce tells Kim that the pervious night Kendall and Khloe were over, and their communication was AWOL. Though Kim is understanding of Bruce’s hesitations, she just asks that he keep the family “in the loop.” Bruce understands, but he says it’s tough, because he has a lot of secrets.

On the subject of secrets, Bruce shows Kim his impeccably painted toe nails. Unsurprisingly, Kim is shocked. Bruce tells Kim he does all his own glam, and claims he could even do hers. Kim laughs like a Sephora employee just offered to contour her face, and visually tells Bruce, “bitch you could never.”

Though he’s had his issues in the past few scenes, Bruce says he’s ready to be fully honest with the family. Kim’s heard rumors, and asks Bruce if he’s going to fully become a woman. Bruce pauses, says yes, and that he sees himself in the future that way. As a 2007 Summa Cum Laude graduate of Media Training University (MTU), Kim tells Bruce that in order to not seem like a liar, he needs to not hesitate when answering that question. According to Kim, all it takes is 4 seconds to seem like a liar, or like you’re wildin’, depending on the company you keep. Bruce also tells Kim that he’s made the “appointment” for his changes, and that he’s going to be interviewed by the Queen Mother Good Sis. Diane Sawyer. The impetus behind his interview is that he doesn’t want the tabloids to control his story or exploit his family. Yassss, “I HAD THE STORY,” yasss!!!

                           Kim when she hears Diane Sawyer’s name.

Even though E!’s date chyron budget was spent on Scene 2, we know that this was filmed on January 14, 2014; the day after Bruce’s chat with Khloe and Kendall, and the same day Kim spoke highly of honesty in Episode 9, Scene 15.

Scene 5: 

Kim visits Kris at Kris Jenner’s house. Apparently, all this emotion has caused Kris to take to her bed in silk pajamas and a full face of make-up. Present enough to make chatter for the cameras, Kris asks Kim how it went at Bruce’s house. Kim tells her mom that she learned some new things regarding Bruce’s “transformation,” but she still wants to support him. Kris hears that from Kim, but tears up saying she wants the kids to be okay, because she’s not. Kris Jenner, who is divorced from Bruce Jenner, says that the bulk of the reason why she’s not okay is because she’s “committed to this life.”  But...divorce...papers...filed...commitment...null...void...new...boyfriend...you...have...

After Kris tries to make commitment happen, when it’s just not gonna happen, Kim compares Bruce’s transition to being pregnant. Before she can get another word out, we here in the KUWTKE offices, clutching our rosaries, drew near to the cross, and prayed our Kardashian Civil Rights representative didn’t let us down. Kim explains that when she was pregnant, she felt like a roly-poly who couldn’t get out of bed or wipe herself. Hol’up, roll the tape back: Kim explains that when she was pregnant, she felt like a roly-poly who couldn’t get out of bed or wipe herself. WE NEED TO KNOW WHO WAS WIPING KIM’S BEHIND WHEN SHE WAS WITH CHILD! WHO HAD THAT STORY, HUH BRUCE, WHO HAD IT AND WHERE IS DIANE!?!?!

Unfortunately, we digress. Kim goes on to say that she only had to feel uncomfortable and unlike herself for less than a year, and he’s had to feel that way his whole life. It’s possible Kim minored in “Left of Center but Passibly Politically Correct Analogies to Describe the Process of Transitioning” at MTU, because her comparison might have been a little off base but not entirely unfounded. MTU’s course load seems fantastic!

Scene 6: 

At Kendall’s house with Kendall and Kylie, Kim takes a call from her mother Kris Jenner. Kris asks Kim if she knew about the Diane Sawyer interview. Kim says she did, but only found out the day before when she visited Bruce. Kim also tells Kris that Bruce wants her (Kim) in the meetings for the interview, as the representative for their side of the family. Kim gets off of the phone with Kris so she can update her sisters on the Diane Sawyer interview. Kim first gives some background on the publicist Bruce is working with, and it’s the same person who stopped this story from coming out in the 80s after someone “caught” Bruce with wigs and other traditionally female garments as he was travelling. This publicist told Bruce that this time around he needs to do a serious interview with a serious reporter to gain legitimacy.

Kim, caught between her support for Bruce and her love for her mom, breaks down in tears. Above all else, we need our readers to know that Kim’s cry face is proof that money and botox can’t buy you everything! #KimKardashianCryFace2015.

After looking at Kim cry, Kendall and Kylie all agree that in the future this will be a great thing for Bruce. Kendall is already in awe of his future motivational speeches. This was a busy day for Kim - this was filmed on January 15, 2015, the same day she talked to Kylie about her lips in Episode 9, Scene 16.

Scene 8:

In Malibu, Bruce gathers all of his camera friendly children together to talk more about his transition. Khloe kicks it off, and tells her sisters that she and Kendall just found out that Bruce plans to fully transition in the spring, and that he claims to have told all of them this already. Khloe’s still pissed, and her sisters confirm that they never heard that either. On the other hand, they also don’t want Bruce to feel attacked.

Bruce tries to defend himself and says he didn’t lie, he just withheld the truth. Well...a lie is...NVM. Kim just wants to start a more open dialogue with Bruce regarding his transition. The girls ask if he has an official date for his debut as Her. Bruce doesn’t, but he does know how to lighten the mood by talking about his plastic surgeries. Khloe isn’t here for it, and is seen typing on her phone. Even though E!’s date chyron budget ran out, they did have some funds set aside for a text bubble. Khloe shows Kendall what she wrote.

Bruce understands his issues with honesty when it comes to the topic of his transition, but that’s only because he loves his children so much and doesn’t ever want to hurt them. He also confesses that he can’t be sure if he’s handling this correctly, because “there’s no right way to do this.” This emotional minefield was filmed on January 19, 2015.

Part II:

Scene 1:

In a continuation of Episode 10,Scene 8, Bruce’s daughters, Kylie, Kendall, Kourtney, Khloe and Kim continue their conversation with Bruce. Bruce tells the girls that after his next facial surgeries, he’s pretty much done, and will then see how comfortable he feels living full time as Her. The conversation gets very open and honest, when Kim asks Bruce whether or not he will get a full gender reassignment surgery and if he enjoyed having sex with their mother. Bruce claims he did enjoy sexual relations with Kris Jenner.

Bruce also tells the girls that they will know when they should start referring to him as Her, because bae will be bad and there will be no mistaking Her for Bruce. His daughters cheekily suggest he start going by “Mad,” a mixture between “Mom,” and “Dad,” and because “he’s a little bit crazy.” Like Episode 10, Scene 8 this was filmed on January 19, 2015.

Scene 3:

Scott visits Bruce in Malibu to conduct a pre-interview for Diane Sawyer. Both parties admit that they’re not close, but both parties have contracts to fulfill, so here we are. After being completely in the dark for a decade, Scott has a lot of questions for Bruce. Scott asks about how butch Bruce will be as a woman, and if he will still golf. Through some more questions from Scott, Bruce admits that he wanted to move to the hills of Santa Barbara, but didn’t want to run again. Scott agrees that Bruce shouldn’t have to leave his home, and extends his wishes for a happier, more comfortable, less pissed Bruce in the future. The pre-interview concludes, and Scott is happy Bruce is transitioning, because after all of these years he thought Bruce had an issue with him, when in reality Bruce had an issue with himself. This is journalism, folks! Take notes!! This interview was filmed on February 17, 2015.

Scene 4:

At Khloe’s house, Kendall and Khloe wait for Bruce. Kendall invited him because he wants to apologize to Khloe. Wisely, Kendall asks Khloe to be nice to Bruce, since this is most likely harder on him than it is on them. Khloe agrees that she was probably too harsh on Bruce, but she was upset about his lies. In her words, Khloe was mad “that he was proceeding with something, but telling us something completely different, until we cornered him.” Um, hello, Khloe, Sis. that may as well be the tagline for us over here at KUWTKE! Like you, we act out when we’re lied to!! We can’t help it! Kendall and Khloe’s chat was filmed on January 28, 2015. Tensions must have been running high in Episode 8 when Khloe and Bruce went to Pismo Beach, only two days prior on 01/26/15.

Scene 5:

Bruce arrives and immediately asks if Khloe is okay. Khloe reiterates that he needs to be more honest, and not withhold information. Bruce understands her feelings of grief. He says that he doesn’t want to hurt anybody, but he has to honor his feelings and live his life. We completely feel Bruce on this. What we don’t feel are these transition lenses. In a very articulate moment, Bruce confesses that his love for them, and desire not to hurt them, sometimes overshadows his ability to be completely honest.

Khloe gets his emotions, but she wants him to share this journey with the family. This means a lot to Bruce. In fact, even through all the pain, he feels optimistic about the future. This is partly due to a great conversation he had with his mother earlier in the day, whom he just told about his transition. Like his relationship with Scott, Bruce had never been that close to his mother, but his admission brought them together a little more. Like Scene 4, this was filmed on January 28, 2015.

Scene 6:

At Kourtney’s house, Mason plays by a pool unattended, and Kourtney, Khloe and Scott talk about Bruce. Kourtney doesn’t want to talk too much about Bruce’s transition in front of Mason, because she doesn’t quite know how to approach the topic with her kids. Khloe thinks that’s pretty ridiculous. Khloe tells Kourtney and Scott that Kendall was at a comedy show the night before, and a comedian asked about Bruce from the stage. They acknowledge that that’s going to happen a lot, for better or for worse, and this is another reason why Khloe thinks they should talk to Mason sooner rather than later. This was filmed January 22, 2015.

Scene 7:

At Kris Jenner’s house, Kris prepares one waffle. While she cooks, Bruce arrives to talk about “this whole thing that’s going on.” Bruce wants to clear things up with Kris after hearing rumors, so he came directly to the source. Before Bruce even starts a conversation, Kris starts to tear up.

Bruce starts by saying that he doesn’t want to negate any of Kris’ emotions, or diminish any of the memories they’ve shared in the past or will share in the future. Kris listens to Bruce, but says she still doesn’t get this process because he was never fully honest with her. Kris claims she never knew about the hormones, but according to Bruce’s Diane Sawyer interview, she did.

Not one to look like a fool on TV, Kris packs her bags, books two one way tickets, and treats Bruce to a guilt trip. Per Kris’ memories, these conversations, regarding Bruce’s gender identity were never had during their marriage. She claims that he was only upset all the time and told her she would never understand why. Kris says that’s why they got a divorce, not because he wanted to transition, but because he wasn’t honest, which prohibited him from being loving. Though Bruce had been on hormones prior to their marriage and Kris knew of his desire to dress like a woman, Kris says she never saw his transition coming in a “gazillion years.”

Bruce apologizes to Kris, if she feels he wasn’t honest enough, and for hurting her. Kris admits that she just misses Bruce, and needs to mourn the relationship. Bruce tells her that things may change, but he’s not going anywhere. He still wants them to be a part of each other’s lives. Kris tells Bruce that the best thing he can do now, is live the happiest life he could ever live, and finally find the peace he’s been searching for. Make it plain, Rev. Kris Jenner, make it plain for the people!!

They conclude their conversation with some “I love yous” and hugs. Like Scene 1, this was filmed on January 19, 2015. 

Scene 8:

Kim visits Bruce in Malibu, and he is overjoyed to thank her for defending him in the press the previous day. After this little moment, Kim tells Bruce that she is ready to go through Her clothes to see what needs to stay and go. Before even looking at the garments, Kim looks at the sizes and comments on Bruce being a size 14.

Kim gives her top picks and tells Bruce the things he needs to trash. Like she does for North, Kim throws out all the pieces of color in Bruce’s closet. Bruce tells Kim that he stole one of her outfits (bet now you’re upset you told the world he was a size 14, okayyyy), Bruce produces the outfit, and it’s literally a black cotton shirt. Well, Bruce, that’s not an “outfit” that’s a pretty basic “basic.” Kim tells Bruce he can keep it, and puts some outfits together out of his remaining clothes.

Bruce appreciates Kim’s help as his new “stylist” and she tells him it’s not a problem, but don't go around town calling her his stylist because Kim doesn’t know if She can pull her weight in the wardrobe department just yet. If we were Bruce we wouldn’t be so quick to call Kim our stylist either, because she left these shoes in his closet. This was filmed on January 27, 2015.

If only goodbyes were as sweet as hellos! Luckily for you all, I’ll be back next week for another KUWDiane Sawyer’s Interviewee re-cap on KUWTKE! #WeIntheMFHouse

[kuwtke-blog]

About Bruce

Hi! This week’s post is on Gawker until tomorrow afternoon. It will be re-posted here, so keep an eye out for it! 

-Mariah 

[kuwtke-blog]

Lip Service

Episode 9

On Sunday night’s episode, the A-plot was Kylie’s lips; the B-plot was Scott and Kourtney’s joint house flipping venture; the C-plot was Kim’s secret photo shoot; and the D-plot was Kris Jenner’s new job as Carmen Sandiego, because she was no where to be found in this episode. 

This week we’re doing this a little differently by focusing on one story-line. Our A-plot kept the cast pretty busy, and the rest of the scenes might as well have been injected into Kylie’s lips because they were just fillers.

Scene 1/Cold Open:

We open on Scott Disick and Kim Kardashian dining at a Keeping Up with the Kardashians themed restaurant called “Something’s Fishy.” Presumably chowing down on lies and suspect editing, Scott mentions a recent headline claiming he’s sexing Kendall. Kim and Scott laugh at the idea. They shift the conversation to cosmetic surgery, and the dynamic duo agree that that the world would be a terrible place if boob jobs didn’t exist. This exclusive look into the psyche of modern beauty was filmed on January 28, 2015.

Scene 2:

Kim, Khloe, and Kendall all arrive at Epione, a cosmetic dermatology center. Khloe orders up the Khlo$ Delight: laser stretch mark and cellulite removal. Kim enters and, oddly enough, is just there for the paycheck. Since she’s freshly received a tan, she won’t be getting any work done. Khloe gives Kim the ultimate, “bitch quit playing” look, but doesn’t linger too long because she has to hop up on that table to get her blessing. Kim mentions a dress she bought for Khloe, but now isn’t sure it will fit over Khloe’s big ass. Khloe tells Kim that she’s trying to make it smaller with the laser. Now...the paperwork has not been filed on our MD, but we know for a perfect fact that the Good Sis. Khloe Kardashian is not shrinking her behind with a laser. Have a very comfortable and cushioned seat, mam. This place is an absolute perfect mess. While Khloe gets her laser treatment Kim and Kendall have HIGH TEA inches away from her bare behind. Beverly Hills, my people, Beverly Hills. This special peek behind the curtain that is perceived perfection was filmed on December 19, 2014.

Scene 3: 

Post laser sesh, Kim, Khloe, and Kendall all dine out for lunch, and appear to only share one plate of food. While enjoying their community table, Kim gushes about the new In-N-Out that opened down the street from her in Calabasas. Khloe, a full blown, born and raised, bronzed and blonde, CALIFORNIAN says she’s never been to In-N-Out. Kim’s face is America. 

The sisters move past this revelation and Kim pulls up an Instagram of Kylie and Tyga “out” the night before. In the photo, Kylie’s lips are so massive that they conceal the fact that she’s out on a date with a grown man who has a child. Even though Khloe thinks Kylie’s new lips have changed her life for the better, all sisters agree that Kylie has gone a little too crazy with her fillers. Khloe suggests Kim speak to Kylie regarding her lips, because she’s the “body person,” the “guru.” Pardon us while we sigh a deep, deep sigh. Like Scene 2, this was filmed on December 19, 2014.

Scene 6/Scene 7:

It’s the launch of Kylie’s weave line, and Kim, Khloe, Scott, Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend Malika, and Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend Malika’s twin sister, Khadijah all show up to support.

Oh, also, Kylie’s alleged boyfriend and alleged criminal, Tyga, was able to lock down a sitter for his child and was also in attendance.

Everything is fun and breezy, until Kylie does some press and eventually gets asked about her lips. In her confessional, Kylie claims that this is the first time she’d been asked about her lips in an interview. In the scene, when asked, Kylie tells the reporter to make like a rock over a small body of water and skip over the subject. She also tells the reporter to “say whatever you want” regarding her lips. Immediately after, Kylie tells Khloe that she’s not ready to talk about her lips. She also says she will never deny or confirm anything about them because it’s “too much.”

This is all very interesting, because in the full interview (that did not air on the show), Kylie does answer the reporter's question about her lips. She says she likes to pout them out and she over-lines them. This reporter, though un-credited in the scene was an E! News reporter. Peculiar time not to credit one of your own, huh, E!?  Kylie’s “confrontation” with the press was filmed on November 13, 2014.

Scene 9/Scene 10:

The hardest working working 17-year-old in Southern California, Kylie Kristen Jenner, is on a photo shoot for the critically acclaimed New Zealand Magazine, Remix.

After the quick and easy shoot, Kylie sits down with an interviewer, who before asking about her lips asks about a normal day for Kylie Jenner. Miss Jenner answers with a heaping pile of fallacies, including one of biggest lies she won’t stop telling about meeting with a teacher everyday since she is still being home-schooled. We demand to see receipts from both the California Department of Education and Kris Jenner’s insurance provider for our medical expenses due to injuries received from swiveling our necks too hard.

When inevitably asked about her lips, Kylie tells the interviewer that she uses not one, but multiple lip colors. That’s right, this alleged high school senior would like the world to believe that her over-sized lips are due to color mixing. In her confessional, Kylie explains that she’s not ready to admit to the use of fillers, so she tip-toed around the question. Well good on you, Kylie. Now, can you tip-toe around an ACT? SAT? GED? This was filmed on February 10, 2015.

Scene 15:

Kim and Khloe meet up at Blu Jam Cafe for a couple of glasses of water. Khloe tells Kim that on Watch What Happens Live the night before Lisa Rinna said she thinks Kylie had her lips filled. Kim and Khloe both agree that it’s far too obvious she’s had work done. Kim is also worried she’ll look like a liar, because in an interview a few months prior she said Kylie was just over-lining her lips. The interview Kim references was released on 10/28/14, when, according to Kim, Kylie was only using a lip liner. Kim’s no liar, so we trust her right!?!? Now, we haven’t passed the bar in California yet, so why don’t ya’ll be the judge on this one? This is Kylie on 10/24/14, 4 days before the Kim interview was released, when she was just over-lining her lips. Someone better throw the milk out, because something in it ain’t clean!! Regardless, Kim and Khloe’s candid conversation over water concluded with Kim deciding to talk to Kylie. To be clear, Kim doesn’t want to talk to Kylie about her lips and the fact that she’s getting lip injections at just 17, but rather what to say when asked about them. Kim’s out here getting others to expose their surgeries all in the name of honesty! This was filmed on January 14, 2015.

Scene 16:

In a spectacular turn of events, the filming location for Scene 16 was Kendall Jenner’s condo. Kendall is with Kim and Kylie, so Kim decides it’s the perfect time to talk with Kylie about her lips. Kylie tells Kim that Kendall thinks they’re too big, Kim tells Kylie she needs to own up to the lips, and Kendall tells the universe that everyone’s beautiful and no one needs any of these surgeries or procedures. Not one to leave her sister feeling alone, Kim confesses that the world thinks she’s had her butt injected, but it’s just 20 pounds of weight gain. Kim reminds Kylie to just keep the changes in her appearance “subtle.” So in summation, Kim suggests that Kylie cop to the lips, but if she gets or desires more surgery, just keep it real enough that she’s not getting asked questions. Capiche? This was filmed on January 15, 2015.

Scene 19/Scene 20:

It’s finally the day of Kylie’s big Teen Vogue interview that has literally never been mentioned on this season of KUWTK. Kim visits Kylie on set to support her, and asks her little, big-lipped sister what she will say if asked about her lips. Kylie proudly says she will tell the truth, so Kim bounces and leaves Kylie to her own devices.

Kylie sits down with Amy, the Teen Vogue Editor-in-Chief and interviewer. Though she isn’t directly asked about her lips, Kylie says in her confessional that she is now ready to be honest about her appearance and stop dodging questions about her lips like she does the police when she’s with Tyga. Such a beautiful and inspiring moment of truth and honesty. We only wish Kris Jenner were around to see it!

Wait...we just got word that this was filmed on February 6, 2015, 4 days before her Remix interview on 02/10/15 when Kylie couldn’t begin to fathom a universe where she would be open and honest about her lips. Maybe Kylie was too busy studying for a midterm, and forgot mere days ago she was ready to live her truth! Better luck next time, Kylie. 

So long, and farewell, dolls! Check in on me next week for some very, very special recaps of KUWTMotherless Children on KUWTKE! #Bible

[kuwtke-blog]

Buggy Boo

Episode 8

On Sunday night’s episode our A-plot was Scott’s downward spiral post baby #3; our B-plot was Kylie’s first home purchase; and our C-plot was KUWTKE getting our lives with the presence of North and Kanye West. Let’s get it!!!

Note: KUWTKE would like to formally apologize for this late post. We were on an office-wide team building retreat these past few days. All activities included seeing Betty Who in concert. This really boosted morale, so we’re excited for the road ahead.

Scene 3:

Kris Jenner tours a house with Kylie, and Brian, The Contractor. As the scene opens, Kylie is heard saying that she “really [wants to] put an offer on this house.” Kris is heard responding “yea, well let’s see what work needs to be done first, because you’re the one who said you want this to be a good investment.” From here, Kris gets down to brass tacks in terms of decorating, painting, remodeling, Kris Jennering, etc. the home. Kris’ biggest idea was an accessories closet for Kylie that looked like a “little store.” To have and to hold such a moment of luxury! We’ve never bought a house over 1 million, so maybe Kylie was just seeing what could be done with the house before she put her money down.

Thanks to Kylie’s ‘I went hard last night, but I’m still young enough not to get a hangover’ look, fallen curls/matted weave, her sweats, and nail color we know this was filmed on February 8, 2015. This was 16 days before the purchase of her house was made public, and a few hours before she got that face “right” for her confessionals.

Scene 4:

At Khloe’s house, Scott is drunk as a skunk, slurring all of his words, drinking wine, and begging to go home. As we learned in Episode 7, Scott isn’t allowed in Kourtney’s house when he’s lit up brighter than the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. When Khloe reminds Scott of this rule, she also adds that Kourtney, the one who doesn’t know how to even approach a game, said she would have him arrested if he attempted to come home. Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika’s, twin sister, Khadijah is also at Khloe’s house, and is helping Khloe reel Scott’s behavior in.

Finally, Khloe and Khadijah get Scott into bed and call Kourtney. Of course, you can’t keep a bad bitch down, and Scott re-emerges. Scott, in the drunk voice that only he can truly capture, asks Kourtney if he can come home. She declines, and reminds him of her rule. He slurs through an apology and ‘I love you’ for Kourtney, but she is not feeling it. Encouraged by his own honesty, Scott tries to leave Khloe’s and go home once again.

Khloe and Khadijah were unable to stop him, so Scott storms out of Khloe’s house and begins walking home. This was filmed on January 9, 2015, two nights after Khloe was out with Scott, getting in that sweet kiki at a French Manicure event.

Scene 5:

Bruce* visits Khloe at her house, and asks why she seems so down. Khloe corrects him and explains that the sadness he detected in her voice, had nothing to do with her, but all to do with Scott. Khloe explains the whole situation from Scene 4, and that Scott has since disappeared. He was last seen leaving Khloe’s house and heading home on 01/09/15. This is a pattern with Scott, and Khloe is unfazed. Thankfully, the reigning royal of #IHadTheStory realness is not having it. Bruce repeats that this is not okay, and doesn’t blame Kourtney for not allowing Scott in the house when he’s acting up. Khloe has Episode 4, Scene 9 glam, so we know this was filmed on January 12, 2015.

*For all those wondering, KUWTKE will refer to Bruce using male pronouns until he decides to publicly slay the madam/sis/queen/female pronoun game. 

Scene 6: 

Khloe and Kendall go out to dinner, and before talking about Kylie’s new house, we are treated to a montage of Kendall eating blueberry muffins like a normal person. Yes! Reality at its finest! To tide us over until we see Kendall take a bite out of a chicken wrap, Khloe informs her lil’ sis that their lil’ sis Kylie is moving to Calabasas. Kendall thinks it’s a silly idea because there is nothing for a young person to do in Calabasas, which is why she moved out to ~~LA~~ where all the sweet youth action is. Khloe totally agrees. This was filmed on January 20, 2014, 19 days before Kylie thought she wanted to buy her house on 02/08/2015.

****The Following Portion Of Our Blog Is Intended For North West Truthers, And North West Truthers Alone. Those Who Are Not Down For The NW On KUWTK Cause May Enter, But Proceed With Caution. Portions Of The Text Below, Will Also Be Written Through Modified Only One Lyrics, Through The Voice Of Kim Kardashian To KUWTKE.****

Scene 8: 

YASSSSSSSSSSSS QUEEN YASSSSSSS QUEEN YASSSSSSSSS QUEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!!

As I lay me down to sleep, I hear Kim speak to me: Hello, KUWTKE, how you doing? I think the storm ran out of rain, the clouds are moving. I know you’re happy, cause I can see it. I finally put Nori on TV, can you believe it? I talked to Kanye about you, he said he sent you a segment, and look at all that he gave you. You asked for one shot, you got two. HMMMMMMMMMM. You know she never left you, cause every road that leads to Nori is right inside you. So I can say, hello my only one. Just like the morning sun, keep on writing till we all know your name...HEY HEY HEY HEY.

#TELLNORIABOUTMETELLNORIABOUTMETELLNORIABOUTME*

*KUWTKE had to take a court mandated Praise Break, but before they left they told us to tell you that this was filmed on January 10, 2015. This is also the first time we’ve seen Kim’s house in Season 10. The video for “Only One” was filmed on Kim and Kanye’s property.

             ****Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Blogging****

Scene 10: 

Fresh off of his Aspen bender, Scott shows up to Khloe’s house to speak with her and Kim.  He admits that he wants to be there for his family, but he doesn’t know how. Everyone is surprised Kourtney is even speaking to Scott, let alone letting him into their house. Scott gets that on paper it sounds like his life should be perfect, but everything on the outside can’t fix issues on the inside. In our humble opinion, there are too many smiles in this scene, but it was filmed on January 16, 2015, the day after Scott actually returned from Aspen, so.

Scene 11:

Kim and Khloe have a sit down with Kylie about owning a house. They try to explain the extensive responsibilities of being a homeowner. Before they even dive in, they learn that Kylie doesn’t know how to do her own laundry, iron, or know about credit. Yikes. To kick off their talk, Kim and Khloe explain all of the different types of insurance Kylie will need, what precautions she needs to take as a homeowner in California, and some other housing things. Someone ring up HGTV and tell them we’re ready to go into production on Property Sisters!! This was filmed on February 23, 2015, one day before the purchase of Kylie’s house was made public.

Scene 13: 

Khloe and Bruce buckle up, and head to Pismo Beach for some family bonding with Scott. Scott was initially booked in their car, but declined and decided to take the 2 hour drive on his own. As always, Bruce is excited to have some quality time with his children, but Khloe is more about that phone life. Bruce does commit a major offence by eating a foot-long tuna fish sub from Subway in a closed vehicle, but Bruce will be Bruce. This was filmed on January 26, 2015.

Scene 14: 

In another car, in another part of California, a raven haired woman who goes by the name “Kris Jenner” gets a call from a child known as “Kylie Jenner.” Kris is surprised to hear from Kylie, as they will be meeting soon, but Kylie has an urgent matter that needs to be addressed post haste. Kylie claims she recently had a conversation with her older sisters, Kim and Khloe, who made her second guess purchasing her house. Kris thinks Kylie is just nervous, and reassures her that this will be a great learning experience. But most importantly, Kris tells Kylie she would never lead her down a wrong path. Ha. Anywho, this was filmed on February 10, 2015, 13 days before Kylie had her sit down with Kim and Khloe on 02/23/15, and the same day she “thought” about buying the house in Scene 3.

Scene 16: 

Khloe, Scott, and Bruce go dune buggying. Khloe and Scott have to rent their own, but Bruce owns a dune buggy that traveled all the way from Malibu to Pismo with him. The trio have a great time, and Bruce looks so at home behind that DB wheel. This was filmed on January 26, 2015.

Scene 17/18:

While at dinner in Pismo Beach, Bruce explains the importance of being around your kids to Scott. Bruce admits his previous faults as a parent, but tells Scott he doesn’t want to look back and wish he had spent more time with his kids when he had the chance. Scott agrees, like he always does, and says he’s working on it. Scott also decides it’s better for him to leave Pismo that night, instead of waiting till the AM. He’s so eager to be a better Scott! All it took was tacos and Bruce. This was filmed on January 26, 2015.

Scene 21: 

Kim visits Khloe at her house, to show her the Only One video. Kim also tells Khloe she wants North baptized in Jerusalem in the same place Jesus Christ was baptized by John. Because that’s not enough, Kim also wants a “John” to baptize North as well. On that note………………..This was filmed on January 28, 2015. 

Until next time, dolls. I’ll see you all next week for another KUWScott’s Sobriety Pt. 2 recap on KUWTKE! #TheOnlyWayOutIsNorth

[kuwtke-blog]

Don’t Panic!

Episode 6

On Sunday night’s episode the A-plot was Kris’ birthday party in Vegas; the B-plot was Kim’s desire to solve a theft issue at Dash New York; and the C-plot was Kourtney’s nude photo-shoot. Let’s get to it, dolls!

Scene 1/Cold Open:

K3 and Scott are at Khloe’s house, huddled around the table talking about Bruce’s hair. Kourtney offers up her forthcoming nude photo-shoot as a discussion topic, and Scott offers up his opinion about her “bush.” Kourtney calls the photographer, Brian Bowen Smith, and they discuss options for the shoot. Scott continues to chime in, telling Brian that in addition to his cameras he’s gonna need a weed whacker. Love his humor! Brian assures Kourtney and Scott that he can retouch any unsightly slips. Scott jokes, the girls laugh, we sigh. This was Kim’s “NORTH WEST” ring day, and the first day of filming, letting us know that this was filmed on October 6, 2014.

Scene 2: 

Kris meets Scott at Emilio’s restaurant. Scott organized this meeting hoping to convince Kris to start doing her own club appearances/hosting parties. Initially, Kris doesn’t think it’s appropriate for someone her age to host parties in a club and go “wooo!” Scott disagrees because she’s in the entertainment industry and she’s a celebrity. Fair enough. Kris relents, and eventually agrees to host her birthday party in Vegas at 1 OAK. This was filmed on October 16, 2014.

Scene 4:

At Khloe’s house, Kourtney and Khloe have a meeting with Dash buyer, Roya. After talking about various styles they can add to the store, Roya brings up a theft issues at Dash New York. Kourtney and Khloe are astounded, and decide to have Kim handle it. This was filmed on October 16, 2014.

Khloe learning about the theft.

Kourtney learning about the theft. 

Scene 5:

At Kris Jenner’s house, Khloe takes selfies with Kylie and Jonathan Cheban while Kris tells them about her upcoming birthday party at 1 OAK. Khloe, Kylie, and Jonathan are having trouble wrapping their minds around the idea, and think that she may be a bit too old. This was filmed on October 27, 2014.

Scene 6:

In a bathroom at Kourtney’s house, Kourtney tells Scott that he’s asking a lot of her to shave her “bush” before her nude photo-shoot. Even though the task is daunting, she says she will, if, and only if, he helps her. OFC he agrees, and they get to gettin’. Scott whips out an electric razor, and begins to engage in a nice organic moment with his life partner, Kourtney Kardashian. Funnily enough, Khloe drops in and heads right to the bathroom, walking in on this moment. Scott finalizes Kourtney’s shape up and Kourtney is satisfied with his work. This was filmed on November 17, 2014. Hmmm. Ok.

Scene 7:

Kim takes her little sister Kylie Jenner make-up shopping. Since they are the only two in the store, the sisters feel very comfortable talking freely about familial happenings. Kylie, reaching for her words, tells Kim, “mom has, a um, club appearance or whatever? In Vegas?” They both think it’s weird, and Kim calls it desperate. Thankfully Kylie Instagrammed this night, so we know it was filmed on December 17, 2014, which was #spoileralert over a month after Kris’ birthday appearance. It’s clear their concern runs so deep that they wanted to travel back in time and change the past. Love it!

Scene 9:

It’s finally the day of Kourtney’s nude photo-shoot! Kim and Scott visit the set, and hand out those compliments like they are being paid to do so. Kourtney does look stunning, it’s just a shame she and Scott forgot she already had her shoot when they shaped her up on 11/17/14 in Scene 6, because this was filmed on October 15, 2014. Better late than never, right Kourt?

Scene 10/11:

While at Kris Jenner’s house, Scott is summoned to speak with Kris in her office. She admits she is having second thoughts about the 1 OAK appearance, and Scott tells her it’s too late for those. Scott would be very correct, because this was filmed on November 21, 2014*, a week and a half after the appearance happened. Regardless, Kris still feels it might be silly for her to go “woo!” at a nightclub. She can’t cancel because neither she nor Scott want to look like an asshole this late in the game. Very true, because if you called asking to cancel something that already happened, you would in fact look like an asshole.

*Kris Jenner only had red nails for approximately 3 days in November 2014, and only one of those days was a KUWTK shoot day. She filmed at least 4 scenes that day.

Scene 12:

Kim is in New York having dinner with Jonathan Cheban and the head of his security, Sal. Over the course of their meal, it’s decided that Sal will go undercover in Dash to see how easy it is for a customer to steal from the store. In Detective Kim Kardashian’s criminal justice system, petty theft is considered especially heinous. In SoHo, the dedicated Entertainment Industry Insiders who investigate these vicious misdemeanors are members of an elite squad known as Kim Kardashian and her friends. These are their stories. #DunDun It must have taken Kim months to plan this mission because this was filmed on December 9, 2014 nearly 2 months after K3 learned of the theft.

Scene 14:

After a quick tutorial, Kim and Jonathan are prepared to observe Dash from their tricked out sprinter van. When everyone is mic’d and settled, Sal goes in. He successfully steals merchandise, and returns to the van. Who knew stealing was so easy and fun!? Who wants to go to SoHo tonight and see what we can lift from Dash?? This was filmed on December 10, 2014.

Scene 16:

At long last, Kris is in Vegas and getting ready for her birthday appearance. None of Kris’ actual kids could make it, but Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, had some availability and showed up. Of course Scott is nowhere to be seen, and Kris is feeling angry, alone, and confused (we think, we don’t know really). This was filmed on November 7, 2014.

Scene 18:

Kim confronts the Dash Dolls in a rare guerrilla style KUWTK moment, because none of the Dash employees were camera ready. The New York Dolls agree to work on the theft issue, and all is well. Kim’s plan really saved the day...This was filmed on December 10, 2014.

I thought about doing a side-by-side of the NY/LA Dolls...but #MyMommaTaughtMeBetterThanThat.

Scene 19/21:

Prior to her party, Kris has dinner with her Krew. Scott finally arrives, and Kris gives him the what-for while he facetimes French Manicure. He starts displaying supremely messy behavior; yelling at waiters, talking in weird voices, and acting like an overall fool. As viewers we were nervous, because Scott’s in that sweet spot of White Male Drunkenness, where he knows just the right amount of black people and his inhibitions are low enough that he might slip up and say the n-word on national TV. Thankfully he didn’t (on camera -_-), but he is still a mess. This was filmed on November 7, 2014.

Scene 22/23:

Kris and her Krew finally make it to the party, and Scott continues to act a Grade A Fool. After a crazy montage of disjointed images, we have an extremely accurate depiction of what life looks like through Scott’s drunken eyes. Filled with that top shelf drank, Scott sprays champagne over the crowd and hits Kris in the head. This is her breaking point. Drunk herself, and already feeling out of place, she hangs her head and chastises Scott. Poor, Kristen Jenner (née Houghton, formerly Kardashian). This was filmed on November 7, 2014.

Scene 24:

Finally back at home (Kris Jenner’s House), Kris dissects Vegas with Kourtney and Khloe. Both her eldest and youngest Kardashian daughters agree that Scott’s drinking has gotten out of hand. The whole Vegas ordeal must have struck Kris to her core, because she wasn’t able to talk about it until 10 days later, as this was filmed on November 21, 2014.

I know you hate to see me go, but I hope you love to watch me leave! Tell a friend to come on in next week for another KUWScott’s Sobriety re-cap on KUWTKE!  #AllDay

[kuwtke-blog]

On The Road

Episode 5 

On Sunday night’s episode, the A-plot was Khloe’s relationship with French Montana and how it affected her friendship with Malika; the B-plot was Kris Jenner’s relationship with Kylie and how that affected my sanity; and the C-plot was Kim’s foray into the wonderful world of tech. #ComeOnIn

Scene 2: 

Kris, Khloe and Scott all meet up for some righteous go-karting. Before shedding her shades, Kris, who lives with Kylie, asks where Kylie is. Khloe explains that Kylie has gone on strike, because she is upset with Kris. Kris (59) thinks Kylie (17) is punishing her, and we think Kris needs to have a talk with our moms about how it’s impossible for a minor to “punish” their mother if the right parenting tools are being used. This was filmed on December 17, 2014.

Scene 3: 

Kylie visits Bruce at his house in Malibu. Bruce inquires about Kris, and Kylie can’t tell him anything because she hasn’t spoken to her mother in weeks. Kylie also says that she was supposed to go go-karting with the Scene 2 crew, but chose to come over to Bruce’s instead. Bruce lends his support, but admits that he would have chosen go-karting if given the option. I hope a producer told Bruce and Kylie it’s not too late to go go-karting because this was filmed on December 3, 2014, 13 days before the go-karting even happened.

Scene 4: 

At Khloe’s house, Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, comes over after dropping French Montana’s belongings off at his house. Post break-up, Khloe is “fine”, but couldn’t handle the exchange of goods herself. Malika is very open and very clear about not wanting to be involved in this drama, but Khloe doesn’t seem to care. Malika is still excited that both she and Khloe are single, so she suggests they go on a trip together. This was filmed on October 16, 2014. Khloe and French did actually split up a few weeks prior, so this makes sense. 

Scene 5: 

At Kris Jenner’s house, K3 eat salads and discuss an upcoming tech conference that Kim will attend in San Francisco. While looking up the details of the event, Kim comes across a comment from the Interviewer, who asks herself and readers if she has “jumped the shark” by agreeing to interview Kim Kardashian West. K3 are flabbergasted at the Interviewer’s choice of words, and inquire as to why one would even be on a shark, let alone jump off the shark they were on. They agree that she must have meant jump the ship, because that is the most logical thing. Huh, hmmm, why, and how, Jesus? In the end, Kim says she wants to prove the haters wrong and against the advice of her mother and detractors, she won’t back out because that’s not her style. This was filmed on October 7, 2014.

Scene 7/Scene 8:

With her Krew in tow, Khloe lives that life I have yet to know, and boards a private jet to Vegas. Aboard Air Force Khlo$, Khloe lays out the plans for the night, which involve a late dinner and a party she’s hosting. Khloe sneaks in that “French Manicure” (née Montana) will also be in Vegas and that he invited Khloe to a party in a strip club later on in the evening. Malika is not feeling it at all. 

The Krew de-planes and heads to their hotel. Malika and her twin sister, Khadijah, break down the French Manicure and Khloe situation. Khloe joins the conversation, and over the course of the scene both Khadijah and Khloe ask Malika if French’s presence will actually ruin her night. Malika refuses to give French that power, and Khloe basically tells her sis from another miss to chill, because #DontStartNoneWontBeNone. This is one heck of a way to kick off the new year, since this was filmed on December 31, 2014.

Scene 10:

While at Dinner in Vegas, Khloe and her Krew spot French Manicure. First his brother, then his friend, then the man himself come over to say hello to Khloe. French asks for some time alone with Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, and he essentially tells her to stand down so he can get his. This was also filmed on December 31, 2014.

Scene 12: 

At Kris Jenner’s house, Kris, acknowledging the rift between herself and her youngest child, forces a reluctant Kylie into going on a road trip the following day. Kylie really isn’t having much of it, but Kris lays down that Mom Law, and tells Kylie that she doesn’t have a choice. Kris and her daughter are slated to leave for their trip the following day. Now, I’m not saying she should or shouldn’t be, but as evidenced by Kylie’s behavior for most of this episode, it’s clear that she’s never been popped upside the head by an adult in her life.* This was filmed on January 5, 2014.

*KUWTKE does not condone violence, just the idea of it.

Scene 13: 

In San Francisco, Kim hits the stage of the tech conference. The Interviewer who may or may not have jumped the shark/ship, asks the hard-hitting questions. Thanks to this, I know that Twitter is a focus group, and I can ask people questions at all times online. Thank you, Sister Kim!! Overall, Kim does well, and books it out of there before she makes the rest of us feel bad about our lack of technological prowess! This was filmed on October 27, 2014.

Scene 15: 

Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, and Khloe are at Khloe’s house preparing to depart on a road trip to rekindle that friendship flame. Khloe flashes back to December 16, 2014 when she rented a pink Thunderbird for the trip, because Vegas (12/31/14) didn’t go so well. Khloe seems to be a very negative forward thinker, because this road trip was filmed on December 4, 2014.

Scene 16/Scene 17:

Kris and Kylie are on the road to La Jolla. Kris brings up some work opportunities for Kylie, including a Pretty Little Liars cameo (Imma need some Kylie Jenner/A theories ASAP, Internet), and Kylie complains that she’s going to be in San Diego alone, even though she’s currently with Kris.

At the hotel, Kylie lets Kris know that she will require her own room and overall, “can’t do it” with her mom and this trip. Mother Kris Jenner is understandably upset. We’re no experts, but Kris’ best bet is shape-shifting into Norm if she wants to get some more attention/love from her child. True to Kris’ original plan, this was filmed on January 6, 2014.

Scene 21/Scene 22: 

Khloe and Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, amp up the fun on their road trip and indulge in a wine tasting. Malika mentions not knowing how to navigate an awkward patch with Khloe, and how she feels French Manicure came between the two of them. After Malika expresses her lack of interest in interacting with French, Khloe turns the mirror on Malika. Khloe tells Malika that there are people in her life whom she doesn’t care to interact with either, but she keeps her mouth shut. Welp. Khloe does put a certain someone named “Caitlin” out on front street, and all we wanna know is #WhatDidCaitlinDo. Khloe basically tells Malika that she has to make her own mistakes and walk her own journey. This was filmed on December 4, 2014.

Scene 24:

Before heading home, Khloe and Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, take a hike to look at some hot springs. For some reason they decide to go in on Kourtney while they hike, mocking her voice, personality, and limitations due to pregnancy. It’s all hah-hah funny until they reach the hot springs which are budget and rancid AF. Despite this, Khloe and Malika make up and pre-emptively solve the problems they had in Vegas on 12/31/14 because this was filmed on December 5, 2014. 

Scene 25: 

Kris and Kylie are on the final leg of their road trip, so the two go to an amusement park that Kris used to go to as a child. They ride an empty roller coaster, eat cotton candy, and all together tighten that mother daughter bond. So sweet and natural. This was filmed on January 7, 2014.

Well, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! Check up on your girl next week for another KUWKhloe recap on KUWTKE! #DontPanic

[kuwtke-blog]

No Retreat

Episode 4

On Sunday night’s episode, our A-plot was Rob’s mental health and how that affected the family; the B-plot was Kim’s continued difficulty getting pregnant; and the C-plot was a prolonged commercial for E!’s new series Dash Dolls.

Before we dive in, we want to apologize for the late post. Our sole KUWTKE employee suffered a minor head injury which slowed down production. We may be a day late, but we promise we’re not a dollar short! #LetsGetIt

Scene 2: 

Scott visits Khloe’s house with Penelope, and the three decide to go search for Rob, who lives with Khloe. He’s not home, so they rummage through his belongings. Scott flexes his compassion muscle and compares Rob’s personal space to a “bomb shelter.” This was filmed on December 2, 2014.

Scene 3: 

Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika, visits Khloe at Gunnar Peterson’s gym. While Khloe gets it in on her fitness, Malika opens up about the drama at Dash. After a flashback, and some grainy, messy, not-fit-for-cable-television cell phone footage, Khloe mentions a retreat she and her sisters wanted to host for the Dash Dolls. So thoughtful and organic, and definitely not at all a set up for a prolonged advertisement for a new show on E!. In any case, this was filmed on October 20, 2014.

Scene 4: 

Kim and Kendall are in New York City having dinner with Jonathan Cheban. Kim explains her issues getting pregnant, and does a great job at keeping her focus on Simon Huck, the invisible man who clearly refused to be captured on film. This was filmed on December 9, 2014.

Scene 5: 

Backstage at The Talk Kris Jenner gets made-up and learns some troubling news about Rob. Apparently, Rob is making large withdrawals from the bank, so Kris wants to take immediate action. Even though Kris herself says that Kim has the least patience for Rob, she still calls Kim to give her a heads up about Rob’s spending.This was filmed on November 4, 2014.  

Scene 6: 

K3 meet at Jenner Communications for a Kardashian Kids Kollection meeting. Kim, having gone to her fertility doctor earlier that morning, is pre-occupied with trying to get a hold of her husband, Kanye West. She needs an emergency surgery that will hopefully increase her chances of getting pregnant in the near future. Well, this is real life, folks. This was filmed on December 1, 2014.

Scene 7:

At Kris Jenner’s house, Kris, Kourtney, and Kim sit down with a mental health specialist to discuss Rob’s situation. The gentleman (who remains nameless and faceless for the duration of the scene) tells Kris and her girls that they can gather resources within 24 hours to help Rob. While we find Rob’s story line quite thrilling, we’re most impressed by Kris’ swift action; we can say, with 99% certainty, that this was filmed on November 4, 2014, the same day Kris got word of Rob’s consistently shady activity.

Scene 9:

Khloe is at Kris Jenner’s house talking to Kris in Kris’ bedroom. Kris wants to catch Khloe up on her plans to help Rob, and mentions the specialist she spoke with in Scene 7. She explains that Rob can have a team of people come directly to his (read: Khloe’s) house and receive treatment from home. Khloe questions her mother’s decision, and explains that no one else in the family has his best interest at heart. Huh. This is very rich coming from someone who, on that very day, was wearing a shirt with all of her sibling’s names on it except for Rob’s. Thanks to Khloe’s shirt  and Kris’ stuffy nose, we know that this was filmed on January 12, 2014. Very good and very well, but this is over two months after Kris’ meeting with the mental health specialist on 11/04/14.

Scene 12/13:

It’s Day 2 of the Dash Retreat and K3 enlist the help of Bruce to "train" the Dash Dolls. Unlike the first day, K3 participate in the activities. After Khloe and her team win big, she gets a call from Rob who didn't respond well to the therapeutic ambush in his (read: Khloe's) home. Khloe begs him to accept the help, but he doesn't listen. Rob soon hangs up on Khloe, who then goes to tell her sisters about Rob’s refusal. In the end, K3 decide that it’s best to cut him off financially and kick him out of Khloe’s house. This was filmed on November 12, 2014, the same day as Kourtney's baby shower. Congrats, girl!

Scene 14: 

At Kris Jenner's house, Khloe and Kim talk to Kris about Rob. Before calling her brother pathetic, Kim exhibits some textbook #toughlove, telling her mother and younger sister that they all need to serve up Cease and Desist letters to their helping hands and caring souls. Sister West is fed all the way up and there will be no more silver spoons or ass-liking on her watch! Heavy is the head, right Kim? Thanks to Khloe’s glam, we know that this scene was filmed on December 18, 2014.

Scene 16: 

Back at Kris Jenner's house, Kim, Khloe, and Kris are in the kitchen when the man of the hour calls. Like Scene 2, this was filmed on December 1, 2014. While talking to Rob, Khloe gets the ball rolling on cutting him off by banning him from using her housekeeper, Angela. This is even before Kim suggested taking The Perks of Being a Kardashian away from him on 12/18/14 in Scene 14. Though he only requests Angela for half a day, Khloe refuses. However, Khloe must have changed her mind later that night because in Scene 2 she references a quesadilla Angela made for Rob, and that was filmed on 12/2/14.

Scene 17/18: 

Kris and Kim are being chauffeured to Kim's surgery, and thanks to the rain and Kris’ pride in Kendall, we know that this was filmed on December 2, 2014. While in the car, Rob calls Kris. He is all the way turnt up after being “banned” from using Khloe's housekeeper, so he goes in on Kris, who is “NOT CRAZY,” "CHILLING,” and “FINE.”  Once both parties simmer down, Kris tells him to leave Khloe’s and go to her house. Now we know where Rob disappeared to in Scene 2: it was Kris Jenner’s house to get some turkey chili!

Well, you don’t have to go home but you gotta get the heck outta here! I’ll see you all next week for another KUWTDash Dolls recap on KUWTKE! #ToBeContinued

[kuwtke-blog]

The Carfather

Episode 3

On Sunday night’s episode, the A-plot was Scott’s suspect business deals and how exactly he earned money. The B-plot was finding Kris a new emergency contact, and the C-plot was Bruce’s money and how he decided to spend it. Even though the Producers tried it with storylines on the wrong side of compelling, let’s get all the way into it.

Scene 4: 

At Kris Jenner’s house, Kim is getting into her glam for the day when Kris comes in to give a very helpful neti pot demonstration and ask Kim to drive her to the doctor the following morning. Unfortunately for Kris, Kim cannot because Kanye is out of town and she can’t line up childcare for that early in the morning. This was filmed on October 14, 2014 because Kim is sporting the same glam as Episode 1/Scene 1 where Kim mentions having just had sex with Kanye. Maybe Kim should go with Kris to the doctor so that they can explain why the kind of sex she’s having with a man who’s “out of town” did not result in a pregnancy. In the end Kim advises Kris to call Bruce to pick her up at 6AM. Kris calls and Bruce agrees.

Scene 5: 

Kris and Kourtney are with Scott in his car. Scott gives Kris advice on the best way to change the color of her Rolls Royce and he takes a business call talking all about wiring money and what not. Kourtney is unfazed; Kris is pressed. This was filmed on November 3, 2014.

Scene 6: 

It’s the wee hours of the morning at Kris Jenner’s house when Bruce comes to pick her up for her doctor’s appointment. Bruce is super duper early because this was filmed on October 7, 2014 and Kris called him on 10/14/14.

Note: We know that this was filmed on October 7, 2014 because there was only a small window of days where Kim’s long nails, Kris’ black nails, and the days Kris was photographed could all line up on one day of production.

Scene 7:

At the doctor’s office, Kris prepares for her procedure and her nurse asks about her advance directive for healthcare, or basically her emergency contact. Kris tells the kind lady that she just changed it from Bruce to Kourtney Kardashian. Cue tears from myself, the world, and Bruce Jenner. But FRFR , like Kris’ Yeezus jacket, Bruce isn’t having any of Ms. Jenner’s nonsense. This was filmed on October 7, 2014.

Scene 9/10: 

K3 and Scott hit up The Agoura Antique Mart, and while browsing, Scott gets a mysterious call and abruptly leaves. This piques Khloe’s suspicions. When the girls get into Khloe’s car, Khloe and Kim ask Kourtney what exactly Scott’s deal is. She explains that he likes to buy cars, but none of them can figure out how he gets the money to broker all of these deals. K3 are in the same glam as Episode 1/Scenes 1 & 12, so this was filmed on October 14, 2014.

Scene 13:

Bruce and Kris arrive back to Kris Jenner’s house after Kris’ procedure. In the kitchen, Bruce and Kris talk with Kim about the changes Kris made to her will. Like Bruce, Kim agrees that Kourtney is the wrong person to have power of attorney over Kris’ ailing body. But unlike Bruce, Kim calls her sister stupid claiming her intelligence has declined over the years. S.M.H. Even so, I hope the cast of KUWTK get’s OT because this was still in the early hours of the morning on 10/07/14.

Scene 14: 

Kylie makes a surprise visit to Bruce’s house in Malibu. After banking a sweet Instagram pic, she confesses to Bruce that she wants, but doesn’t need, a new purse that is preferably not black. Bruce wonders if Kim will know where to find such a thing. Kylie tells him she will. This was filmed on December 3, 2014.

Scene 15: 

In Kris Jenner’s kitchen Kim, Khloe, and Kris further discuss Scott’s shady dealings. Khloe mentions the license plates she found in the back of his car, and Kris brings up the wire transfer she overheard in Scene 5 on 11/03/14. Kris did in fact overhear and remember that conversation because this was filmed on December 1, 2014.

Scene 16: 

Kris visits Khloe at Khloe’s house to talk about the drama surrounding her new will. Khloe bats about half an eyelash over the matter, but asks why she’s not in the running to be the executor. Kris thinks the job would be too hard for Khloe, and I think Kris needs to make a decision soon because anything can happen, you know? This was filmed on October 16, 2014.

Scene 17:

Bruce and Kim are out shopping for a purse for Kylie. Very nice, very cute. This was filmed on October 20, 2014 aka the same day Kim ripped Bruce a new one in Episode 1/Scene 15, and 1.5 months before Kylie even asked for the bag in the first place on 12/03/14.

Scene 26: 

At Kris Jenner’s house, Kris invites Khloe and Kourtney into her office. Kris discovers that Scott is the President of a car company located in Calabasas. Riveting stuff, ya’ll. This was filmed on November 21, 2014.

Scene 27/28: 

At Kourtney’s house Kourtney confronts Scott about his company. He’s offended and prefers not to bring work home. Sir. I wish I could stay mad at Scott, but I can’t because for the 1st time his glam is what lets us know that this was filmed on November 18, 2014...Three days before Kourtney found out about his company. So...

Scene 29: 

In the final scene, Kris visits Khloe to deliver the good news that Robert Kardashian Sr.’s youngest daughter will be the new executor of her will. I trust this decision because Kris clearly thought about it long and hard for three months, since this was filmed on January 5, 2015. GL, to you Sis. Khloe.

That’s all she wrote, folks. Come see about me next week for another KUWTExtended Family of North West recap on KUWTKE! #TurnItUp