How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Can you maybe do a post on the elements of a kiss scene?
Certainly, and I’m sorry it took so long – I have several post requests I’m working on, and thankfully, I finally have a bit of spare time to answer them.
If you’d like my tips on how to write a healthy romance, or how to write a killer sex scene, go right ahead and click the links here.
For the time being, here goes!
1. Keep things understated (especially in regards to tongues.)
“Our tongues tangled and went to war in our locked mouths, battling madly for dominance.”
No. Okay? Just no. The thought of my tongue “tangling” with someone else’s is an image I would really prefer to unsee, yet I have seen it and countless variants in both published literature and fics.
Similarly, ask anyone whose ever had an unsolicited tongue jammed down their throat: it’s not pleasant, and readers shouldn’t be lead to believe it is.
My advice with kissing scenes is to focus predominantly on lips, and maybe add a little tongue as an afterthought. Like so:
“His lips were warm and soft. They parted slightly, allowing my tongue to slip inside.”
If you want something a bit more passionate:
“Our bodies pressed together heatedly against the wall, breathing heavily as our lips pressed together. I could taste our shared breath, feel the thud of our combined heartbeat as we fumbled to take off one another’s clothes.”
You could even try, “His tongue pressed between parted lips in ticklish kitten licks,” which, granted, sounds a little awkward without context, but isn’t nearly as wince-worthy as the image of it being jammed in like a tongue depressor.
Literally and metaphorically, tone down the tongue.
2. Don’t get overly floral about taste.
“Her lips tasted like peaches and honey.”
No, they didn’t. And her pussy didn’t taste like coconut cream pie, either, or anything else your quintessential sub par male author or pre-teen smut writer might dream up.
Unless she’s literally just been eating peaches and honey, or she’s using some kind of fancy lubricant, her lips are going to taste like lips, and her pussy is going to taste like pussy. Full stop.
Granted, that isn’t very romantic, which is why I like to focus on other sensations besides taste. For example:
“Her lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against my own. I could feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath my nose, fingers carding through her hair as we breathed each other in.”
I occasionally actually will have my characters be eating or drinking something before hand, also, just to add an extra layer of sensation play to the scene.
“His lips were still sweet with milk and honey from his afternoon tea as Alexander kissed his husband goodbye.”
But my advice is keep these instances short and sweet: nothing can kill the mood like a good dose of purple prose.
3. Focus on how the characters are feeling.
Here’s the thing: as I understand it, kissing someone you’re not all that into at the moment is awkward.
You don’t know what to do with your hands, your hyper aware of everything your body is doing, and you’re really concerned with how you might taste. You’re also a lot more prone to noticing unseemly things about your partner, like bad morning breath, bad skin, weird grunting breathing, et cetera.
The same goes for writing: too much physicality can make a kissing scene feel painfully awkward, whereas, just as in real life, a good kiss will be one in which the best part is how your partner makes you feel.
Focus on how your POV character is feeling, and add physical details here and there to make the scene feel grounded:
“Warmth blossomed in Luna’s chest, sparks igniting as Artemis leaned in close, lips brushing together, tentatively, for the first time. The smell of her perfume, of the soft, peachy scent of her conditioner, was dizzying, butterflies dancing in her stomach. But warmth consumed her as she leaned into the kiss, Arty’s lips impossibly soft against her own.”
I find this approach much more effective than describing each motion in painstaking detail.
Bonus: Learn from the masters.
I don’t claim to be the paramount expert on writing, kissing, or any combination of the two.
So without further ado, here are what are considered to be some of literature’s finest makeout scenes for your benefit and inspiration:
“It was like that. Almost the last thing I remember was standing with Daisy and watching the moving-picture director and his Star. They were still under the white-plum tree and their faces were touching except for a pale, thin ray of moonlight between. It occurred to me that he had been very slowly bending toward her all evening to attain this proximity, and even while I watched I saw him stoop one ultimate degree and kiss at her cheek.”
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
“I turned around and found her face, and her mouth was already waiting like a question. I’m not gonna make it out to be something that it wasn’t: It was perfect—Coley’s soft lips against the bite of the liquor and sugary Coke still on our tongues. She did more than just not stop me. She kissed me back.”
- Emily M. Danforth, The Miseducation of Cameron Post
“She drew him toward her with her eyes, he inclined his face toward hers and lay his mouth on her mouth, which was like a freshly split-open fig. For a long time he kissed Kamala, and Siddhartha was filled with deep astonishment as she taught him how wise she was, how she ruled him, put him off, lured him back… each one different from the other, still awaiting him. Breathing deeply, he remained standing and at this moment he was like a child astonished by the abundance of knowledge and things worth learning opening up before his eyes.”
- Hermanne Hesse, Siddhartha
“Cath closed the book and let it fall on Levi’s chest, not sure what happened next. Not sure she was awake, all things considered.The moment it fell he pulled her into him. Onto him. With both arms. Her chest pressed against his, and the paperback slid between their stomachs.
Cath’s eyes were half closed, and so were Levi’s and his lips only looked small from afar, she realized, because of their doll-like pucker. They were perfectly big, really, now that she had a good look at them. Perfectly something. He nudged his nose against hers, and their mouths fell sleepily together, already soft and open. When Cath’s eyes closed, her eyelids stuck. She wanted to open them. She wanted to get a better look at Levi’s too-dark eyebrows, she wanted to admire his crazy, vampire hairline—she had a feeling this was never going to happen again and that it might even ruin what was left of her life, so she wanted to open her eyes and bear some witness.
But she was so tired. And his mouth was so soft.And nobody had ever kissed Cath like this before. Only Abel had kissed her before, and that was like getting pushed squarely on the mouth and pushing back.
Levi’s kisses were all taking. Like he was drawing something out of her with soft little jabs of his chin. She brought her fingers up to his hair, and she couldn’t open her eyes.”
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
JULIET
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.
ROMEO
Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
JULIET
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
ROMEO
O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
JULIET
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.
ROMEO
Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.
JULIET
Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
ROMEO
Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.
JULIET
You kiss by the book.
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
I hope this helps, and happy writing! <3
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