snails

Christopher (Ky) Dean || Capricorn || INTP

[thefinalpaperheart]

I fucking love this little bit jenny does about football sdkjfhkdsjhfks

[jinglyjangly]

I dont want bethesda to ever get rid of how fo4 does cutscenes because there is just something special about talking to someone and having a vertibird kill you both in the middle of it

[falloutuniverse]

I snorted

[the-dubstep-strawberry]

I don’t think there’s a better example of the above than this:

[vkm11-deactivated20220316]

Uh excuse me, how can we forget this classic and masterpiece

[keystoneway]

I still like this one

[renelaru]

How about this old gold

[filiasyth]

@immamotherpugger

[leggywillow]

Every time I see these I just sob with laughter.

[disconnection-notice-deactivate]

Don't talk about weight loss and diets to your daughter, don't talk about weight loss and diets around your daughter, don't comment on your daughter's weight, don't tell her she has to weigh herself every once in a while, don't ruin your daughter's relationship with food, don't make her feel bad about the way she looks. I'm sorry if diet culture fucked you up but please try to break the cycle instead of perpetuating it. Thanks.

[toastbutteregg]

“start with the dishes on the sink”

[toney-starks]

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that slaveholders in the US knew that enslaved people were escaping to Mexico, the U.S. tried to get Mexico to sign a fugitive slave treaty, but Mexico refused to sign such a treaty, insisting that all enslaved people were free once they set foot on Mexican soil (x)

[nightingem]

just had the FUNNIEST interaction with a kid in my life. 

im getting help with my laundry and there’s this 4yo black kid who’s super precocious. looks me up and down after hearing my voice and seeing like, little bit of beard through mask but also boobs and was like. are you…a girl? and i said no. then hes like hm. are you…a boy? i said “kinda.” he looks at me a little more and after a brief pause says very loudly “you’re WHITE!”

his mom was SO embarrassed but i was like no you got me there little dude!! i love kids SO much man

[nightingem]

that kid @ me 

[radicalgraff]

Pro-homeless posters seen around Seattle. The poster message and it’s design is a direct response to an anti-homeless poster campaign in Seattle a week earlier that used the headline: “SEE A TENT? REPORT IT”

[guerrillatech]

[miniature-stigmata]

this is just one of many many reasons why covid is affecting and killing so many latinx

[feywildwest]

one of the weirdest ways that language is evolving in response to the internet is that “bad words” just. do not have the same impact anymore. i constantly forget that some people think ‘fuck you’ is a terrible insult

so threats and insults have to start getting really out there if the person wants to even mean anything. if a person told me to die i’d shrug it off but if i opened a post’s tags and saw “op i will sneak into your house and replace all your shoelaces with cooked pasta” do you know how shaken i’d be? do you know how upset i’d be if i saw “op is the personification of the look you share w other people in the grocery store when some dude is causing A Scene™ for no reason”

[zmyaro]

So you are saying English curses on the Internet are becoming more like Yiddish curses?

[feywildwest]

I sincerely hope so but I can’t say I’m familiar with yiddish curses and i am begging you to tell me a few

[gallusrostromegalus]

My Personal favorite is:

“May all your teeth fall out, except for one, to give you a toothache.”

[captainlordauditor]

“OP is a complete onion.” (their head is in the ground)

“I hope I have the privilege of sewing your shroud” is another one I like.

[antongarou]

“May you have a hundred houses, with a hundred bedrooms each, and ten beds in each room. And may the plague throw you from one bed to the other”

“May your death be sweet. Run over by a truck full of sugar”

“May everyone congratulate your widow at your funeral”

[chloe-cristata]

Damn these are good.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I’ve talked about this before, but Ashkenazi Jews will typically only name children after a person who is already deceased, so one of my favourite Yiddish insults is “May a child be named after you soon.”

[myulteriormotive-deactivated201]

PART TWO

Scottish Twitter is fucking wild

[toastbutteregg]

[everythingfox]

Owner asks dogs to hide because customer is scared of dogs

(via)

[comebackbehere]

BYE KSKDLAMDKDSM

[pathological-people-pleaser]

I cannot tell you guys how much I’ve laughed at this yesterday, the comments on the willow mv are PRICELESS! 😂😂

For those of you wondering what the Swift rule is, every time Taylor releases an album, Corinthians (one of the big soccer teams in Brazil) doesn’t lose the previous and upcoming game. Like, never. And this weekend they were going to play the currently best team in Brazil, and regional rival. The other team was on a winning streak, but the swift rule is unbeatable.

But it doesn’t stop there!! People really believe taylor is some kind of patron saint of Corinthians, not only the Swift rule is definitely a thing, but Corinthians had never won a national championship while Taylor wasn’t born, first time was in 1990. And there is more, back in the day we still had playoffs for the main championship, and guess when was the final that crowned Corinthians champion? December 13th.

[karmaismybf]

SOME GEMS ON THE WILLOW MV COMMENTS:

“saint george in heaven (patreon saint of Corinthians) and taylor swift on earth. go miss corinthiana”

“it was never luck it was always taylor swift. go corinthians!”

“I was always prejudiced to hear taylor songs but since she blessed Corinthias i have started to listen and they are good. thank you taylor. go corinthias”

[birbliophile]

"Taylor Swift is the patron saint of a Brazilian soccer team" is not something I expected to learn today

[black-culture]

[ymeradonnadx-deactivated2021012]

[laeta-sci]

He’s protesting the construction of the Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT) in Mauna Kea! Say the name of the location and who’s trying to set up the TMT!

Jason Momoa says he can’t start shooting “Aquaman 2”… because he “got run over by a bulldozer” while protesting construction of a giant telescope on land considered sacred to native Hawaiians.

“Sorry Warner Bros we can’t shoot ‘Aquaman 2,'” he wrote in an Instagram post. “Because Jason got run over by a bulldozer trying to stop the desecration of his native land THIS iS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT LETTING YOU DO THIS ANYMORE. Enough is enough. Go somewhere else.”

In a followup post, Momoa asked fans to support the protest movement, writing, “During this time, we are trying to unite both kānaka and Hawai’i born peoples alike to protect not only the mauna, but also our way of life and greatest natural resources in Hawaii as a whole.”

Momoa has spent several weeks protesting on the highest point on the state of Hawaii, Mauna Kea, in an effort to stop construction of the Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT), a $1.4 billion scientific project underwritten by a group of universities in California and Canada as well as partners in China, India and Japan.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson also has been protesting the construction of the telescope last month, he made a surprise visit to the dormant volcano.

https://www.thewrap.com/jason-momoa-says-he-cant-shoot-aquaman-2-because-he-got-run-over-by-a-bulldozer/

[marimacha-tonto]

Here’s a petition ink. 

Also, something people might not be aware of is that the telescope could easily be built on the canary islands. The (obviously racist bullshit) argument for building it on indigenous lands is that the highest point of Hawai’i is the perfect location for astronomy but in reality the telescope is supposed to produce images 12x sharper than the Hubble Space Telescope. It doesn’t even need to be on a gigantic mountain to get quality data, let alone a sacred one that doesn’t belong to us.

[marimacha-tonto]

actually forgot to mention that there’s already 13 telescopes built on mauna kea and their sacred land has already been thoroughly desecrated by our space programs. Another telescope is just overkill at this point.

Also, the media makes it seem like the protestors won back in 2019 (which is when mamoa got hit by a truck), but in reality construction was halted to speak with protestors and find “common ground”, because they didn’t have safe/secure access to the site and wanted the protestors to fuck off. The conflict is absolutely still going on.

[sadhoc]

today in “cis people are unhinged” a parent overheard a second grade teacher i work with talking about pronouns in zoom class and decided to a) try to get the teacher fired and b) pull her child out school. the reason my coworker was discussing pronouns? she was teaching a grammar lesson.  

[tarantula-veins-deactivated2023]

cis people really forgot that they use pronouns too huh wild that

[cultural-antifascism-deactivate]

In Yiddish we don’t say “I love you” we say “דאַלוי פּאָליציי” which roughly translates to “you’re my moon” and I think that’s beautiful. 

[saintlaikaa-deactivated20210412]

cute!!!

[cultural-antifascism-deactivate]

sorry so this is an old joke I reblogged recently based off a meme format from like 5 years ago that I thought my mutuals would still find funny and didn’t realize people would think I’m serious. the phrase above, daloy politsey, actually translates to “fuck the police” 

[tamamita]

cute!!!