Life of a Gay Boy

Just blogging of random stuff.

[theanimalmemes]

“One of the best feelings ever is to have someone who respects you, gives u attention and wants you just as bad as you want them.”

— @sexual-texts

[kybear1994]

Inner Me

In the outside I am happy and so full of life. I can make anyone smile or make them feel loved. I put my feelings behind me to help whoever needs it. I'm generous and full of light.....

But in the inside Im nothing, but full of shadows. Im sad that no matter what I do its still there haunting me. I'm lost trying to navigate through my inner demons, but always end up, back at the begining. Im alone, no one to help me through my insecurites and pain...nobody to hold me and tell me that they will never leave my side.

On the inside I am sad and desperate to get out of this dark mood.....3 years of dealing with this and yet no improvement, not even a dent....This is my inner me....people only see what I want them to see.....I wish someone would see me and my pain.....someome to see my pain.

[kybear1994]

Heartbreak

Heartbreak that follows you where ever you go. Never being good enough for anyone to impress nor be perfect for. When being alone for a long time you feel like its normal, but at the sametime its abnormal. I feel tears falling down my cheeks like hot gasoline leaving nothing but pain behind its path. Feeling grayness wherever you are or go....trying hard to push it down like a dam, but every dam has a crack along it and it pours out. I truly feel like im alone, my biggest fear has come true. Im alone...im alone with no one to pull me through the darkness. I cry wondering why I feel like this everyday every week every month every year......time goes by and yet the pain is still near never leaving....never leaving.

[kybear1994]

Summer Nights by Kyle LeBlanc

"In and out as I breathe, I listen to the night. I hear the crickets, frogs as they form a beautiful symphony. I look out my window and I see a swarm of fireflies scatter through out the sky. I think of them as mini stars as they light up the night. I walk out as I feel the grass between my toes the warm breeze blowing through my hair and the fireflies flying around me like I was in a vortex of lights. I call it magic of a summer night."

[kybear1994]

This year has been nothing but bad after bad....I'm so tired of things always being bad, no matter how many times I think positive it gets worst.....when can I soon be happy? 😢

[kybear1994]

Hm sounds about right explains a lot about my life xD 3 weeks after we broke up

[kybear1994]

My life this past year (short version)

I never thought of writing what I've been through this past year. I want from being in a relationship of 2 and half years to being single for almost a year. My relationship was amazing for the first 6 months and then just went straight to hell. Yes I had sent pics or Skype with other men while in my relationship, but I was fresh out of high school and also my ex boyfriend worked so many hours I never saw him and I didn't get that attention I needed. I got a job, in hoping it would help ease my mind of my relationship, but it just made it more difficult, so I put in my two weeks and left it so my ex and I could spend time together. Things got worst from there, as we soon learn that my ex lost his job and we were behind on bills and soon got evicted. We moved to Palmyra and into his parents house. Well things went great, but then we were fighting because we were both jobless and just going stir crazy. So finally my ex found a job at a gas station/convince store and I found a job working at a deli/diner. We've had our fights but not as much. A month goes by and I get fired from my job for no reason, I was jobless for a while and I had no license and my ex and his family were always busy so I had no way to get applications or go to interviews. But it was all my fault and I was lazy and not living my life. And our fights escalated even more to where we argued over the same crap. I got to the point where I gave up on sharing my feelings to my ex because I always got judge. May 13th last year I called it quits because I couldn't do it anymore. But my ex became malicious and spiteful towards me posting horrible things about me on social media. Then 3 weeks after we broke up got into a new relationship so obviously there was something going on that he moved on that fast. Found out he cheated on me while I was in CT visiting family for 2 weeks. I was so heartbroken that I have depression, I have anxiety, ptsd and OCD to the max. I have a job and next month would be one year there, I have my permit and working on my license and then a car. I'm currently still single; I've done dates and ended up heart broken left and right. Then did hook ups...well mostly oral no sex with a few guys mostly older. And decided I wasn't much into it. So I have a new motto "Go with the Flow" and whatever happens, happens. I hope to find someone but for now its to focus on me even though I'm lonely.

[conceitografia]

[kybear1994]

Please

[anordinarytransgirl]

[kybear1994]

Seriously want this

[love-for-boys]

[kybear1994]

Want this any guys single? Lol

[kybear1994]

Trust

Trust is a big thing that means a lot in our world today. Trust builds love and friendship and how we respect each other nowadays. But lately trust is hard to come by nowadays. You think you could trust someone such as a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, family and friends. But when you grow up you learn not to trust a lot of people because In the end you get screwed over. I'm honestly to the point where I can't trust anyone anymore because I always get hurt and treated poorly. The only person I can trust is myself. I'm fine with it, and yes people say it will destroy me emotionally and mentally, but I'm sorry why should o trust someone if I've been screwed over every time? Trust should be earned, not just given out.

[love-for-boys]

[kybear1994]

Can someone just do this with me :(

[solitarygoddess-deactivated2022]

Reblog if you practice witchcraft or tarot.

🔮✨⚡️

[kybear1994]

Better?

When you wish things would get better, but then life spits on you and says fuck you and then it just gets crappier...yea that's how my life is going :/ Anybody listening?

[kybear1994]

Going through so much emotionally...I'm so lost and alone.

[riding-the-wavez]

[kybear1994]

I hate being patience

[kybear1994]

Memories

When you check to see how your ex is doing and the first thing you see is him and his new fiancé.....my heart breaks I'm happy he's moved on, and I've moved on too...but why is it that he's done so much to me, but he's happy and I'm here alone and depressed. I wish I had someone again, miss being held and the kisses out nowhere. I want to cry, and just let the pain wash away. I'm so tired of being alone. I wish things would look up for me....because my biggest fear is being alone.....And I'm living my fear.