χブレード

independent && selective personified χ-blade written by nikki. est. 1/6/17.

[insoluble-angel]

[kyexblade]

                                           WRITTEN BY NIKKI.

mun also runs rikaxi.

[saisettha7]

[rpmemedumpster]

Mutuals that I haven't interacted with yet this is your invitation to come talk to me! Throw your muse in my inbox, tag me in a starter, or contact me to plot something!

Often times I follow back blogs and we never rp! Let’s change that!

[draumers]

a softer world sentence starters.

❛ some people are so good at disappearing that you start to doubt your memories that they were ever there. ❜ 

❛ how do you say goodbye to someone who was never there? ❜

❛ i don’t want a world without pain, or loss. i just want them to mean something. ❜

❛ there are some people who believe a photo captures their soul. ❜

❛ if you love something let it go. ❜

❛ you were not the first, you will not be the last. ❜

❛ there are some secrets i will take to my grave, but i don’t want loving you to be one of them. ❜

❛ you can still back out before anyone gets hurt. ❜

❛ i said i’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. i guess that’s my problem. ❜

❛ kindness won’t save anyone. ❜

❛ for a long time i thought i deserved better. but the truth is we both deserve better than this. ❜

❛ i wish there was a word that meant “goodbye” for someone who was already gone. ❜

❛ i never meant to hurt you. you have to believe me. ❜

❛ we’ll always have yesterday. ❜

❛ hope softens the rough edge of every promise. ❜

❛ love is stupid. happiness is admitting we aren’t better than stupid. ❜

❛ you can’t always want what you get. ❜

❛ i wish i had a dollar for every dollar’s worth of work i did. ❜

❛ we are empty inside and hollow. hoping something sweet will make its nest in us. ❜

❛ we’re too far from help. ❜

❛ monsters are even more scary when you see them afraid. ❜

❛ we carry our own loneliness with us. ❜ 

❛ fake happiness beats genuine misery. ❜

❛ they always trust me to be someone who i don’t even want to be. ❜

❛ i cannot see where i want to go, only that i want the going.❜

❛ you are never here. you are always almost there. ❜

❛ you and me will die the way we lived, telling ourselves stories to make it mean something. ❜

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[xvxnitate]

kyexblade

The nudge to her hand shocked her, seeing as it wasn’t that long ago he was snapping at her for asking a question and now he wanted her to play with his hair. This is probably the last thing she expected to happen after all of this, but it was much better than the screaming like before.

Per his silent request, she tried with both of her hands this time, figuring it’d be more effective. Chi wordlessly combed her fingers through his spiky hair, which was surprisingly soft given its appearance. She made sure to make sure it didn’t get in his face or anything, if that at all was possible.

The key wondered how long this would go on, how much pent up emotion he really was hiding. He basically was like a volcanic eruption, he’d let it build up for so long and he finally erupted. She just wished she knew what to do when things like this happened.

Vanitas had, never in his life, been shown… whatever this was. Kindness? That… sounded like the right word. But… the X-blade was… in some capacity, it was his now, but… ‘it’ was also a ‘she’ and the more he clung to her, just letting all the tears and sadness and just despair flow out of him (some Unversed appearing around him and quickly fleeing, manifesting now that the feelings that shut down his ability to feel rationally were gone), the clearer he was able to think. He had what he wanted, but it wasn’t enough. But this…

He relaxed under the gentle feeling of the blade’s hands playing with his hair. It felt so… nice. Calming. He sniffled. Damn it… he was being weak, but… this didn’t hurt. And he wasn’t letting her go, besides, she’d said she’d stay with him, so…

He’d figure out what to do with that later. That, and he’d figure out a way to ignore the Floods that were starting to pile up around his legs, purring loudly.

[kyexblade]

The spawning of the floods made her a bit nervous, but they didn't seem as if they'd harm either of them. They were.. purring? Chi didn't think that something that looked like that had the ability to purr. They were like small cats. She almost laughed at the thought.

"Do they do that a lot?" She asked, eyes still focused on the growing pile around his legs. Chi continued threading her fingers through his hair since it seemingly calmed him down more, hoping to calm him down completely then she could actually talk to him.

"Do you, um- do you feel any better?" The silverette questioned, ignoring the few Floods starting to move closer.

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[xvxnitate]

kyexblade

     Chi blinked, at a loss for what to do, or say, or anything. For the most part, she just let it happen. Her eyes were wider than she thought possible. Listening to him cry tugged at the strings of a heart she wasn’t sure existed. There had to be something there, though. 

     He didn’t seem to react badly to her wiping away his tears, but considering how quickly they were falling it seemed pointless now. Chi experimentally ran one of her hands through his hair seeing as there wasn’t much else she could do except leave him be, the action was unfamiliar to her and she decided to stop there. 

     ❛ You’re not alone anymore. ❜  She mumbled.

He didn’t want to cry. He shouldn’t be crying. But the tears wouldn’t stop. He… wasn’t in control of his emotions right now, not at all. The most he could do was cling and sob and wait it out until he was back in control of himself again. 

The hand running through his hair made him pause. That… it didn’t hurt, it actually felt… felt… okay. Not bad… pleasant? Nice? He wasn’t sure what the right word was. But it didn’t feel bad, and he tried to nudge her hand with his head, a bit like a cat would.

The most Vanitas could manage was a grunt of acknowledgement. She wasn’t leaving. Even if her form was weak, he had the X-blade now. There… had to be something he could do to become whole now, right? He just need to figure out what it was and how to do it.

[kyexblade]

The nudge to her hand shocked her, seeing as it wasn’t that long ago he was snapping at her for asking a question and now he wanted her to play with his hair. This is probably the last thing she expected to happen after all of this, but it was much better than the screaming like before.

Per his silent request, she tried with both of her hands this time, figuring it’d be more effective. Chi wordlessly combed her fingers through his spiky hair, which was surprisingly soft given its appearance. She made sure to make sure it didn’t get in his face or anything, if that at all was possible.

The key wondered how long this would go on, how much pent up emotion he really was hiding. He basically was like a volcanic eruption, he’d let it build up for so long and he finally erupted. She just wished she knew what to do when things like this happened.

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

Vanitas clung, arms wrapped around the blade’s human form. There was not much anger left, no, just… pain and despair and sadness and so many more emotions that were tumbling out but too muddled to make any Unversed out of. She wasn’t going to leave… no, he wouldn’t let her leave, but the sudden feeling of someone’s hands near his face made him freeze.

No… no pain, though, the touch… hadn’t hurt. He was… crying? No, that couldn’t be it, he wasn’t weak. But… he gave up and just buried his face in her shirt and let the tears fall, he couldn’t stop them. He gave a weak, hiccuping sob at her words.

It wasn’t… was… he didn’t know anymore. He just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to stop feeling so alone all the time, out of place. He didn’t belong anywhere… he shouldn’t get his hopes up.

     Chi blinked, at a loss for what to do, or say, or anything. For the most part, she just let it happen. Her eyes were wider than she thought possible. Listening to him cry tugged at the strings of a heart she wasn’t sure existed. There had to be something there, though. 

     He didn’t seem to react badly to her wiping away his tears, but considering how quickly they were falling it seemed pointless now. Chi experimentally ran one of her hands through his hair seeing as there wasn’t much else she could do except leave him be, the action was unfamiliar to her and she decided to stop there. 

     ❛ You’re not alone anymore. ❜  She mumbled.

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

“Make it stop!” The pain was always there. The pain of being separated, being alone. He was darkness. He was not meant to be a person, and he knew it. He was a tool made for only one purpose. What good was a tool when it had outlived its usefulness?

No… no, she had to be lying. Her words were enough to make him pause for a moment before she shook his head lunged  for her again. He wouldn’t let the X-blade go, not again. He’d been whole the last time he’d had it, even if that had been just a few brief, fleeting moments. He wanted that back. He wanted to go home. No way was… he the only one who could fix this. He wouldn’t, if that was the truth. He never would.

He’d cling again, if he managed to get any grip on her, tears dripping steadily down his face. He couldn’t… he couldn’t lose it again. It was all he had. It was… hope… without it, he was… useless.

     ❛ I’m telling you the truth! ❜ The sentence strained as she was clung to again, though this time there was less malice. It seemed like he just needed to get it out, at least for now. Chi wiped the tears that she could, eyebrows furrowing.

     ❛ Look-- I won’t leave. I won’t. I’ll stay if it makes you feel better, but.. ❜  She paused, unsure of exactly what to say. ❛ I can’t make you whole. I’m just a keyblade, I can’t do anything like that. ❜ Golden eyes focused on the sky above her instead of looking at him, deciding against trying to push him off. 

     Truthfully, the blade had no clue what to do. Did she comfort him? Chi didn’t know how to do that. Settling for a simple two words.

     ❛ I’m sorry. ❜

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

Vanitas wasn’t thinking rationally, wasn’t really thinking at all. He’d tackled the apparent Keyblade turned human and clung, fingers digging into any fabric he could find to try and keep his grip. X-blade. His. He’d been created to forge it, wield it, it was his. Even if it was in this stupid, useless, weak form that reminded him too much of his own.

Not her fault! So what? He didn’t care! The X-blade was supposed to be his, no one else’s. And it was his now, again, even if it was in this stupid fucking form that he couldn’t actually wield. He wasn’t even registering the fact his eyes were watering.

“You were supposed to make the pain stop! Make it so I’d be whole! I was this close!” He tightened his grip as much as he could on her, he wasn’t going to let the X-blade slip through his fingers, not again. “Now fix it! Put me back!” Put him back in Ventus’ heart. Let them figure out who would win out in that conflict. Either way, he’d be whole, he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted the pain to stop. It was still there. Make it stop!

     ❛ You’re the only one who can make the pain stop! Don’t you see that?! I’m just a blade- I can’t do anything! ❜ She grunted as she continued to try to get him off of her, her surprise only growing when she saw he was.. crying? 

     ❛ There is NOTHING to put you back to! You’re a separate person now, you were split in half and there’s no way to put you back, at least not that I can do, you’d have to find him! I can’t do ANYTHING! ❜ Chi yelled, using every bit of the strength she could find to push him off of her, succeeding finally and backing up. The blade doubted this was over, and braced herself for impact that she assumed was coming from him.

     Chi wanted to help him. She didn’t want him to be in pain, even if she hardly knew him. What she did know wasn’t particularly good, either. It was the truth though. He’s his own person now, the only one who could put him back was the one who took him out in the first place. Xehanort.

[kyexblade]

"...I'd guess you are not exactly a 'human', right?" It's kinda easy to know that when he knows someone like that.

     ❛> Kind of. I’m the human form of the X-blade– however you’d classify that. ❜

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

X-

Something in him felt like it snapped. The emotions he’d been keeping in came tumbling out in the form of a small mob of Floods. The Unversed made concerned trills and squeaks as they either ran for cover or attempted to press themselves against Vanitas’ legs like cats.

“You broke!” The pain and rage in his voice is unmistakable. “How the hell are you walking around like some kind of… of…” He growled, actually growled, in the back of his throat. “You broke and I couldn’t reach and you were supposed to make it stop-”

He lunged at the apparent X-blade turned human, any apparent semblance of rationality or composer completely erased.

     The rapid appearance of the small monsters made her eyes widen, though not giving her any time to react because of being tackled. Chi should’ve expected this-- should’ve realized why he seemed so familiar. He was one of his vessels. The man who tried so desperately to forge her, to take away the kingdom she coexisted with, to-

     ❛ It isn’t my fault——I didn’t break myself, you know! ❜

     Chi tried to push him off with little luck. He was hurt, and it was her fault, despite what she said to him. It’s true that she didn’t break herself, but if it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t be like this. He wouldn’t be. 

     If she had a heart, there was an ache.

     ❛ You were used, and not for something good- but I can’t, I couldn’t have made anything stop. Things wouldn’t have gone the way you think! ❜

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

‘Forged.’ The word made his right hand curl into the half fist that would allow him to summon the Void Gear. Forge was a word he could only apply one meaning to. He scowled, his feet slowly shifting into battle ready stance. Suspicious. Today, though. The old geezer wasn’t here, though, there was no one to forge anyth-

Keyblade.

“…Okay. I’ll bite. What the hell are you?” She wasn’t a Keyblade, she was a person, and he was pretty sure Keyblades couldn’t look like people. So what the hell was going on here?

     ❛ I thought you’d have figured it out by now. Maybe I’m overestimating you.❜ 

     Chi raised an eyebrow at him, her arms crossing. Did she have to spell this out for him? Sighing, she mentally agreed with herself and decided to explain whatever she knew, which wasn’t much.

     ❛ I am the χ-blade. Or-- one form of the χ-blade. I don’t know how I was forged, since you say there has been nobody else here. It could possibly be through the force of Kingdom Hearts. Maybe I took a human form because there was nobody around suitable as a wielder. I don’t know how or why I’m here, but I am. ❜

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

Tch. Vanitas didn’t believe that for one second. “Yeah. Right.” His tone was completely flat. This girl was delusional. The only being (not human, no, he wasn’t human, he was darkness) to ever be created on this world was him.

“Nice joke. If you were born here, I would have noticed you before now.” The Unversed would have seen her long before now. No one was that good at hiding. “You’re starting to get on my nerves. Get lost.”

No way in hell this girl was from this world. He had lived here his entire existence, returned once the X-Blade had failed to forge and he’d woken up outside of Ventus’ heart. No way was anyone born here other than him.

     ❛ You wouldn’t have seen me. It seems I was forged today. ❜

     She took her time looking around again, still finding it hard to believe that all of the graveyard was put there both directly and indirectly by her. Chi should’ve been isolated somewhere. She shouldn’t have even been forged. It’s too dangerous if the wrong person gets a hold of her.

     ❛ I didn’t mean to say born. A keyblade can’t be born. ❜

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

‘No?’ No what? Ugh. Whoever this was, they were weird. The minute he could think of a way to ditch her, he was gone. She was an idiot simply for standing here, that was all there was to it. The fact she kept asking questions didn’t help Vanitas’ opinion of her in the slightest. He didn’t care if his words hurt, that was the point. She could cry all she wanted to, he didn’t care.

“Because this is a dead world and I want to be here. Now scram.” He wasn’t going to entertain these questions all day. He could feel his annoyance starting to pool up in his heart. Maybe he should just let those Unversed form to spook her into leaving, if she didn’t take the hint.

     ❛  I CAN’T LEAVE.❜

     CHI FROWNED, HER arms crossing over her chest. She wondered why she was formed exactly, who clashed, and why he didn’t know about it. If this is a dead world as the stranger says, he would’ve recognized two people forming a blade, wouldn’t he?

     ❛ I WAS BORN here. ❜

[kyexblade]

starter call~

[kyexblade]

OPEN.

[kyexblade]

xvxnitate

Where, exactly? Tch. Whoever this person was, they were an idiot. Wandering this world was not something any person with half a brain did. (Not to say he was being an idiot by being here, he just couldn’t think of any better damned place to go.)

“The middle of nowhere.” He was entirely deadpan in his delivery of that sentence. “The Keyblade Graveyard, where the hell do you think you are?” This place was a wasteland. Nothing grew here. Yet, here he was. If only because everything that he technically owned was scattered across this world.

Now who the hell was this and why the hell did she have eyes like that? And why the hell did she seems… weirdly familiar. He didn’t know anyone. His brain was probably fucking with him again.

     WHEN HE ANSWERED, she couldn’t help the hurt expression that flashed across her features. When she first gained consciousness, she couldn’t remember anything except who she is. But hearing him mention the Keyblade Graveyard for some reason hurt her. Taking a moment, she fully looked around and vaguely in the distance could see a platform covered in keyblades in the ground.

     ❛ No...❜ 

     THE KEYBLADE FROWNED, the overwhelming reality that all of those keyblades and masters died crushing her. Because of her. But.. that’s where she technically died too. Since she was here, she wondered who clashed. 

     ❛ Why are you the only one here?❜