‘ i have the best weekend ever planned, man. ’
‘ when are you gonna do some, like, real acting ? ’
‘ can we please go to fucking carls junior ? ’
‘ i can’t really eat that stuff right now, i’m on a cleanse. ’
‘ so you’re not drinking, you’re not smoking weed... ’
‘ no, no, i’m drinking, i’m smoking weed. ’
‘ if you stopped eating gluten, you’d feel way fucking better. ’
‘ whenever you feel shitty ? that’s ‘cause of gluten. ’
‘ who the fuck told you not to eat gluten ? ’
‘ you don’t even know what gluten is ! ’
‘ it’s something that’s used to categorize things that are bad ! ’
‘ calories ! that’s a gluten. fat ! that’s a gluten. ’
‘ so this is how the other half lives. ’
‘ it’s all of your favorite things ! ’
‘ it says [name] in joints. ’
‘ you are just... the best people. ’
‘ it eases the transition... the much needed foreplay. ’
‘ i’m a well-known homosexual advocate. ’
‘ i haven’t seen it yet, but i’ve heard it’s supposed to be bonkers. ’
‘ we’ll chill together and we’ll chill with these other guys ! we’ll all chill as one big unit. ’
‘ you know what ? [name]’s an inspiration. ’
‘ for you, i will go. ’
‘ i wanna be with you all night. ’
‘ this is the sexiest street in america. ’
‘ this place is like a piece of me. you just stepped inside of me. ’
‘ guess what buddy, you like art ! ’
‘ look at him, he’s like.. a hipster, right ? ’
‘ you seem to hate a lot of things, and the bottom of your pants are awful tight. ’
‘ you hate movies that are universally loved. ’
‘ nobody’s that nice. serial killers are that nice. ’
‘ why the fuck do you think i put up the sign ? ’
‘ somebody took my fucking cellphone ! ’
‘ it’s unbelievable, it’s unacceptable ! ’
‘ oh shit, that’s embarrassing. ’
‘ can you lower your voice ? you’re freaking out [name]. ’
‘ maybe i’m the one whose freaked out ! ’
‘ he’s not as strong as you. ’
‘ we are all soft ! we pretend to be hard, but we’re soft as baby shit ! ’
‘ there’s racoons and bandits and shit out there ! ’
‘ the good guys are here ! ’
‘ we’re fine ! it’s gonna be fine ! ’
‘ i went out this morning and specifically bought this milky way. ’
‘ i’m not sporting a crop top in your house. ’
‘ you couldn’t handle my midriff. ’
‘ i’m gonna sleep with you. ’
‘ i’m gonna sleep with you, it’s too scary to sleep alone. ’
‘ maybe this horrible, horrible, deadly earthquake happened to make us closer as friends. ’
‘ not terminator two, for god sakes. ’
‘ you wanna spoon ? ’
‘ goodnight my sweet guys. ’
‘ he didn’t suck any dick last night. ’
‘ now i KNOW y’all are trippin’. ’
‘ here’s my vote; fuck all of you. ’
‘ this is real, this is fucking real ! ’
‘ i’ve been feeling really weird about him lately. ’
‘ i know that dude ! ’
‘ i’m straight up lovable, son. ’
‘ you’re just as shitty as the rest of us. ’
‘ hey, what’s cheese without a few crackers, you know what i’m sayin’ ? ’
‘ weed is for the people ! it’s the people’s weed ! ’
‘ b-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f forever ! ’
‘ you’re british, right ? you’re used to eating shitty food ? ’
‘ don’t talk about [name] like that. ’
‘ that’s fucked up, man, i’m right here. ’
‘ she’s like a little sister. ’
‘ what kinda vibes are you talking about ? ’
‘ chill the fuck out, man, puttin’ that shit in the mix ! ’
‘ the one who denies it, supplies it ! ’
‘ it’s me, america’s sweetheart ! ’
‘ it’s smoky as fuck out here. ’
‘ somebody, throw me a knife. ’
‘ o-m-g, [name], i’m so sorry. ’
‘ you saw something out there, didn’t you ? ’
' this is the real shit, right now, happenin’. ’
‘ do shit unto people that would do the same shit to you. ’
‘ we’re gonna do it together. ’
‘ who has goddamn porno mags anymore ? ’
‘ don’t walk away. ’
‘ it’s too late, i’ve already walked away too much. ’
‘ remember when i got you that twenty dollar taco bell gift certificate, and i bet that you couldn’t eat that much taco bell ? ’
‘ i broke my ass ! ’
‘ this is terrence peterson, my monkey flashlight keychain. ’
‘ i needed to wash down that dry ass cinnamon toast crunch. ’
‘ you’re making me into a joke right now and you are not gonna like the fucking punchline. ’
‘ god fucking dammit, i’m gonna kill this motherfucker ! ’
‘ that’s what i thought, nerd. ’
‘ that fucker has got to go. ’
‘ i party so fuckin’ hard. always have. ever since i was a baby. ’
‘ you didn’t have my back back there ! you fuckin’ disappoint me. ’
‘ that self-righteous, cocksucking, two-faced backstabber. ’
‘ you’re twisting that shit around. ’
‘ textbook twattage. ’
‘ his insides are worse than my outsides. ’
‘ what’s up, what were you thinking that day ? ’
‘ just kill [name], that would be so tight. ’
‘ so something... uh, not that chill, happened last night. ’
‘ just... bad sleep, crazy dream. ’
‘ uhh, lemme break it down for you; i’m not fucking going. ’
‘ what do you think this is, scooby doo ? ’
‘ this shit’s cray-cray, guys. ’
‘ acting like it’s hot when it’s cold. sitting on the beach, it’s freezing, you’re in your draws, talkin’ about how everybody’s surfing. ’
‘ they didn’t make a mistake. ’
‘ there’s a reason we’re all here. ’
‘ i gouged a man’s eyeballs out. ’
‘ god did this. ’
‘ the power of christ is compelling me ? that’s what’s happening ? ’
‘ you’re gonna repeat lines from the exorcist ? ’
‘ well, i assume they did their fuckin’ research. ’
‘ we’ve got an exorcism to finish, hello ! ’
‘ i would have sucked a dick for half a cracker ! ’
‘ i run over there, screaming and shit. ’
‘ holy shit, do you know what this means ?! ’
‘ if we’re actually nice to each other, we can get sucked up into heaven. ’
‘ i made him my bitch ! ’
‘ we’re friends, you can’t fucking eat us ! ’
‘ another fine mess we’ve found ourselves in. ’
‘ you’ve got to be fucking shitting me ! ’
‘ i didn’t like what i became, so i hated what you became. ’
‘ i don’t deserve to go to heaven, but you do ! ’
‘ welcome to heaven, motherfucker. ’
