I'm BAAAACK!

Roleplay blog for Kyle Schwartz, brought to you from the mind of itsshellybitch. Will roleplay at any age.

[askkylebroflovski]

hey kyle 👋 how’s your cousin doing?

No idea. I bet he's gonna copy me and get his own blog or something.

[kyle-one]

I actually started my blog first, Kyle 2. I haven't been on for awhile because my psoriasis has been flaring up and my allergies have been the worst and I think that I might have fibromyalgia now

[dead-----blog]

What about making tea from weed??

Huh. I never had it like that before, but that sounds kind of nice actually.

[kyle-one]

Tea makes my acid reflux flare up.

[itsshellybitch]

Do you like cakes?

Who doesn't, turd?

[kyle-one]

I can only have gluten free cake. And no chocolate! Chocolate gives me hives.

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has severe acid reflux disease

[dead-----blog]

Do you need a butt doctor?

Why the hell would I need a butt doctor?

[cartmanbrah-deactivated20231007]

How do you know you have good health on your man parts if you’ve never had your prostate checked?

[kyle-one]

My proctologist is great! I'm sure that he could refer somebody good in South Park, Kyle Two!

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has celiac disease 

[viva-la-tveit]

how long do u spend on the toilet?

Why, exactly, is that any concern of yours?

[sir-canuck]

I once sat on a toilet for 6 hours

[kyle-one]

Oh, Jesus! You're going to give yourself rectal prolapse, Ike!

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has irritable bowel syndrome with constipation 

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user is germaphobic 

[scotttheranger]

Ah, to consume a chocolate bar without trying to murder everyone in the same building as me.

[kyle-one]

I get terrible hives when I eat chocolate!

[inthetags]

reblog and put in the tags the most recent physical pain you felt and how bad it was

[honeybee-sage-archived]

u know at this point the way ppl treat me is starting to feel a lot like infantilization and it's fucking infuriating

[greatgrandpamarsh]

@cartmanbrah Your friend has been sounding a little cranky these days. 😒 I think he might be constipated. 😳😖🚽 You should start feeding him more fiber. Tell him that Mr. Hankey won't visit him next Christmas if he doesn't drink some prune juice or eat some bran. I've always been a huge supporter of 100% carnivore diets where you even drink animal blood instead of water (because water is for pussy vegans like stanriella and heidi 😒), but even I would eat a veggitible for Mr. Hankey-kun. 🥰😍

[kyle-one]

I find that a tablespoon of milk of magnesia helps.

[userboxed]

[archivedwatchingredracereveryday]

I think the only way to know what peanut butter tastes like.....is to taste it.

[butterygooodness]

I can't have peanut butter ):

[archivedwatchingredracereveryday]

Me neither but that won't stop me

[kyle-one]

I can't either. High five, everybody!

[scotttheranger]

I made cookies. Do any of you fellow heathens want any? If not, I’ll just keep them somewhere until someone does want them. 

[kyle-one]

Are they gluten free?

[rpcmasterlist-deactivated202105]

Reblog this post if you are part of the South Park RPC. Please list whether you are canon, oc or verse as well as if you are single muse or multi muse and you will be added to the list! If you do not follow the instructions listed, you will not be added to the list.

link to masterlist

[archivedwatchingredracereveryday]

If you're not biting your ice cream, what the fuck are you doing with your life?

[kyle-one]

I can only have dairy free ice cream, because I'm lactose intolerant and I have hyper sensitive teeth and biting into ice cream makes my teeth hurt.