Noble Krypton

Maddi. 23. Michigan. Socially Unreliable. Probably marathoning Netflix as we speak. I'll probably find you attractive. Talk to me.

[sistertaxon]

when you drive your chevy to the levee but the levee is dry and you see the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye

[approach]

Me, on a date: so how do you feel about using old memes?

Them: I honestly hate people using memes that have expired. It’s not funny anymore

Me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

[skullsmillion]

[feeshies]

gender reveal party.  i cut open the cake and the inside is glowing blue.

“it’s a mage” i say.

500 templars storm my party.  they take the cake and leave.

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Goldman and Sachs literally fucking asked aloud if curing patients is a good business model.

Fuck this shit I want out of here

[galacticbreaker]

Holy fuck. Was this in a hearing? Sounds like it needs to be spread

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/04/curing-disease-not-a-sustainable-business-model-goldman-sachs-analysts-say/%3famp=1#ampshare=https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/04/curing-disease-not-a-sustainable-business-model-goldman-sachs-analysts-say/

[tredekim]

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Rich people are fucking monsters holy hell

[frankendykes-monster-deactivate]

In case you were wondering why we fucking hate capitalism.

[folktaylor]

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

Me, passing someone on the highway: bitch

Me, being passed on the highway: bitch

[jandamz]

The Blast-o-mancer

Mr. Torgue approved.

[everythingfox]

me in the kitchen at 1 am

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

Super Dad

[englishable]

Conclusion: human evolution has always depended in part upon some unassuming father’s ability to literally backflip his child out of the jaws of death.

[lanadiaries]

this video is wild

[hotvampireadjacent]

snowing in april

[vampire-rights-activist-deactiv]

Don’t worry, though. Global climate change isn’t real.

[goodbyeeveryonepeacendblessings]

where’s that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car

[goodbyeeveryonepeacendblessings]

[signlesstheredbloodedtroll]

Hi! Humans don’t have an eye shine, so that’s not a person!

[legitimatelala]

😨

[nyanbinyuri]

[ocfos]

Th- that’s what a skinwalker would look like.

[rubysevens]

Danny Devito and Jeff Goldblum both give off chaotic energies, but in opposite directions. One is the yin to the other’s yang. However, both are everyone’s uncle

[bloomflowersbloom]

a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same

[2thicc2function]

Wtf

[queenconsuelabananahammock]

[crunchyadventuretime]

[anarchapella]

Unpopular opinion: straight people using “partner” to refer to their SO actually helps normalize the term so that lgbt folx can use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers. It also helps other straight ppl get comfortable with the fact that strangers aren’t entitled to information about other people’s gender or sexuality.

[lesserkiwi-deactivated20180504]

Give op their hard-earned notes

[curvy-caro]

Fatter in person