Only A Potato

i love writing | 14 | asks are open! | Rules: https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/ua-stories/185583195715

[kyokajiro-imagines]

If hawks ever dumps Dabi

Dabi: A human heart costs $442,000

Dabi: And I gave you mine for free you ungrateful bish!

Dabi: *Cries into Hawks magazine*

Toga: *Pats on back* There are more fish in the sea-

Dabi: BUT NO BIRDS IN THE SKY-

Toga: Shut up and take my reassurance you burnt chicken nugget

[kyokajiro-imagines]

🌻 Smiling 🌻

Hawks: Fun fact, you can’t breathe when you’re smiling. So if you smile continuously, you’ll probably die!

Dabi: …

Dabi: *Spends next 24+ hours smiling*

Rest of the league: What the heck

Hawks: Hehe I lied, I just wanted to see him smile *sighs dreamily*

Rest of the league: ?

[Bonus]

Shoto: Hey dad can you smile for me?

Endeavour: For how long?

Shoto: A day, I want to experience the loving smile of my father.

Endeavour: *Le gasp, teary eyes*

Endeavour: Of course Shoto-

(At the end of the day)

Endeavour: Well I did a whole day! Are you happy my son?

Shoto: Darn it Touya *Sighs*

Endeavour: ?

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Dabi cooking

Hawks: So today you’ll be cooking food- I’ll be back in 5, don’t burn the house down

Dabi: I’ll try.

[5 minutes later, Hawks walks in]

Hawks: Hey how’s it- *Le gasp*

Dabi: *Is using a cheese grater to cut a tomato*

Hawks: You monster I never should have done this

Dabi: Isn’t this how-

Hawks: NO. NO IT IS NOT.

[kyokajiro-imagines]

You know what’s gonna happen

I’m reading an eraser mic fan-fic and this pic shows up

Welp I got attached to this fan-fic looks like someone’s gonna die

[kyokajiro-imagines]

What do you do in your free time?

Deku: So what do you like to do in your free time?

Toga: Stalk people

Deku: Ok... I like to read

Toga: I know

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Nah

Hawks: I’m breaking up with you

Dabi: Nah

Hawks: Ha! You can’t ‘nah’ me anymore- How does it feel to be single?

Dabi: I wouldn’t know

Hawks: LET ME BREAK UP WITH YOU

Dabi: Nah

Hawks: God this makes me hate and love you, should I dump you because you’ve confused me now!

Dabi: Nah

Hawks:

[kyokajiro-imagines]

1a comebacks

Class 1A Comebacks #5

Midnight: Once, much to my surprise, Yaoyorozu fell asleep in class due to a late night. She must have thought she was safe, being at the back of the classroom and all! I decided to let her be for a while because as I women I can relate to her late night tiredness-

Aizawa: Somehow there’s a dirty reason behind that statement that I hope Yaoyorozu can’t relate to.

Midnight: -but then I got sick of it and decided to get her to wake up by yelling a complicated question at her to embarrass her so she wouldn’t fall asleep again!

Yamada: Very childish of you Midnight!

Midnight: Shut up, I need a little drama in my life! Why do you think I became a teacher?

Ectoplasm: So you could nurture and pass on your wisdom to the younger generation?

Midnight: *Laughs* No.

Aizawa: Go on.

Midnight: So I did, the question even confused me the way I worded it meaning she was definitely in trouble with it, then all of a sudden she just looked at me defiantly and said, “Mam, I’m back here minding my own business, not causing any type of distractions at all, and you decide to stop everyone’s learning by trying to make me look stupid. I think everyone, as smart as I might seem, knows I have no idea what that question means or what you’re saying, so please stop disrupting the class and let me go back to not bothering anyone!”

Yamada: What a legend!

Ectoplasm: What did you do with her!

Midnight: I respect a girl with a sharp mouth and witty response, so I let her sleep of course! I was to high by the feel of it all to get mad~

Yamada: Disturbing metaphor!

Midnight: *Flicks hair* Why thank you~

Aizawa: I don’t think that was a compliment.

Midnight: I’ll take it!

Aizawa: And a better question to ask your victim next time that’s impossible to answer is how you became a qualified teacher?

Ectoplasm: Indeed, I’m truly worried for your students. They must be filled with fear every time they walk into your class.

Midnight: Then I’m clearly doing my job right!

Aizawa: *Facepalms*

Yamada: No Midnight that’s not what our man meant by that-

[kyokajiro-imagines]

1a comebacks

Class 1A Comebacks #4

Yamada: I once had Bakugo take a stab at me- I kept my cool the entire time!

Midnight: *Snorts* I was dropping something off when this happened if it’s the one I’m thinking of- You screamed into a pillow for 5 minutes straight after! From laughter or embarrassment, I don’t know~

Aizawa: That does sound like him.

Yamada: *Coughs* ANYWAYS! I was doing an example for paragraphing when Midnight walked in and gave me something, then I said to my class, “Oh dear, I got distracted and lost my train of thought!” Trying to be funny! Then Bakugo laughs and yells, “No need to worry about it Teach, lucky there were no important passengers onboard anyways!”

Ectoplasm: Ouch.

Yamada: BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! He then proceeded to grin, look me in the eye and add, “In fact, I don’t think there’s even been any!”

Midnight: It was hilarious- Poor Mic. Not really though, he deserved it for trying to be funny!

Aizawa: He doesn’t need to try, his life is already a joke.

Everyone except Yamada: OOOH BURN.

Aizawa: Thank you, my class taught me a few things as well.

[kyokajiro-imagines]

1a comebacks

Aizawa Class Comebacks #3

Ectoplasm: I don’t know about you guys but once I had Sero pull a comeback on me.

Yamada: There’s a common theme with the idiots in the class isn’t there!

Aizawa: Those are my idiots though and I love them, so be careful what you say Mic.

Ectoplasm: I was doing a question on the board and said, “Question 1- This expression doesn’t fit into any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral. Does anyone have a proposal as to what we do next?”

Aizawa: And?

Ectoplasm: Sero raised his hand from the back of the classroom and shouted, “The next question!”

Yamada: *Claps* What a legend!

[kyokajiro-imagines]

1a comebacks

Aizawa Class Combacks #2

Aizawa: Another time I threatened to call the parents of Kaminari when he was being an idiot-

Yamada: Nothing new I see?

Aizawa: Look who’s talking- Anyways, so I told him, “What would your parents say if I phoned your home right now?”

Yamada: And?

Aizawa: He said, “They’d say hello!” To this day I’m not sure if he was being genuine or making a comeback, either way it was amusing.

[kyokajiro-imagines]

1a comebacks

Aizawa Class Comebacks #1

Yamada: Have you ever had a student make an excellent comeback during class Aizawa?! CAUSE WITH A GANG LIKE YOURS THERE’S BOUND TO BE SOME DRAMA!

Aizawa: Yes- far too much.

Yamada: Like?

Aizawa: Kirishima was trying to give advice to Mina about being tough- He said, “You gotta be a man, you gotta be like me!” Then without skipping a beat she looked him dead in the eye and replied with, “Well which one? Do you want me to be a man or just like you? Because one of those are the equivalent of a wimpy try hard kid.”

Yamada: Ouch, friendly advice gone wrong!

Aizawa: It was great.

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Stuck there

Mina: What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue?

Kirishima: I don’t know! What?

Kaminari: Spill!

Mina: You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna!

Kirishima and Kaminari: Hehehehe

Kaminari: You’re missing something!

Kirishima: But what about the glue?

Mina: Pfftttt- I knew you’d get stuck there!

Kirishima: Oh god-

Kaminari: HAHA IM DYING-

Mina: *Finger guns*

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Baku fam chat

⚠️ SWEARING ⚠️

[Texts]

Mitsuki: Hey honey did you pick up that asshole yet?

Bakugo: Wrong number Mum

Mitsuki: Sorry kid, that was for your father

Bakugo: WAIT- WHAT ASSHOLE?!DID YOU MEAN ME YOU PSYCHO POMERANIAN?!

Mitsuki: Yes

Bakugo: b*tch

Mitsuki: Behind every b*tch is a kid who’s made her that way~

Masaru: This is suppose to be a family friendly group chat guys :(

Bakugo: SHUT UP YOU SON OF A COW

Mitsuku: SHUT UP HONEY IM PARENTING OUR ASS OF A SON

Masaru: *Facepalms*

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Ur an idiot

Dabi: Hawks

Hawks: Yes Dabi, what?

Dabi: Why did the chicken cross the road

Hawks: Oh I don’t know- Why?

Dabi: To get to the idiot house- Knock knock!

Hawks: Who’s there?

Dabi: The chicken! *Laughs*

Hawks: Oh haha. Ha.

Dabi: It’s funny because you’re stupid.

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Dabi and slang pt2

Dabi: Huh, I should probably add Kei to my Twitter by friend request *Adds*

[Texts]

Hawks: 10x4d+

Dabi: ?

Hawks: <3

Dabi: Wait

Dabi: I think I get it~

Hawks: Yay

Dabi: 5b-3y = 1!

Hawks: *Blocks*

Dabi: Wait so we weren’t solving algebra together? Kei? What does 10x4d+ mean? Is it idiot slang language? I need to know now-

[A few days later- Dabi’s lying in bed at night- Sits up quickly]

Dabi: LE GASP! It meant thanks for the add! OH MY GOD TOGA DID YOU KNOW THAT-

[kyokajiro-imagines]

Toya sneaking out

Natsu: I know you snuck out last night to see your BF last night...

Dabi: If you tell dad or mum I swear I’ll murder you

Dabi: And they’ll never find the body anyways

Shoto: 5 bucks

Dabi: Fine

[kyokajiro-imagines]

One ugly photo?

Dabi: Can you send and delete that ugly photo of me that you took on my phone?

Hawks: *Scrolls through photos*

Hawks: Which one? There are so many!

Hawks: Plus all of the photos I have of you follow that description~