feeding the Rengoku brainworm that has me in a chokehold 🔞⚠️ I make art and attempt to write ☕️ -haha this is now a kimetsu blog- heyo, call me keize/kz/zero nb: they/them ^^
Hi. I’m sorry if this is all over the place, but I needed some comfort today. Hope this brings you a little comfort, too.
Summary: He looks like he could use one, too.
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Word Vomit, Self-Loathing (kind of), Depression, Profanity
Touch. Touch.
That’s all you ever want; all you ever need.
Of course, he looks like he could use it, too.
A subtle exchange of skin-on-skin. Nothing too sensual, but something bordering intimate that will recharge those expendable batteries of his.
He dons a lovely smile which rivals the sun as he talks to Mitsuri, and you’re sure he’s sick of being compared to it. It’s got to be exhausting, being a beacon of strength for all. Everyone relying on you to be so perfect and positive and fucking numb when all you’re sure he wants to do sometimes is curl up into a ball and just remember how to breathe for like, five seconds. Like…
One.
Two.
Three—
Your name is called, and it’s nice to hear it from his lips. Like, really. Seriously, honestly, truly. It’s like hearing it sung like the holiest of hymns. Everything he says is beautiful. Honey-like. He’s so bright and blinding, but you can see the fissures forming in his personality between the rays outlining his skin.
He’s too much like you, though you’re polar opposites. He wears his feelings on his sleeves. You wear yours under the thickened layers of your uniform, locked up tight like a beast lurking within a cage. The notion makes your lips curve skyward, a forlorn look kissing your countenance.
How are you so close, yet so…
F
a
r
?
“Don’t have to be so strong,” you say aloud, not really thinking.
Insert foot in mouth.
He turns to you with that effervescent grin, confusion arching his brows.
The other hashira have thankfully already trickled out.
“Pardon?”
You clear your throat, fighting down the embarrassment which churns deep in your belly; bleeds into your neck.
“My bad,” you say. Swallow past your tongue. It’s heavy, much like the exhaustion painting his face. He’s looking at you expectantly. Like he wants to say something, or he wants you to say something.
Fuck it. I’ll just—
“Can I hug you?” The words are out once again before you can fully process them.
At first, you’re afraid he’ll say no, what with the perplexed look in his otherworldly eyes. But then, he just kind of does this awkward shuffle closer to you, devouring you in his imposing presence. And he’s opening his arms in a wordless invitation.
You sidle up to him. Pour yourself into his arms, and it’s so incredibly warm here. Warm and soft. Soft. You knew he would be. After all, a man like this has no choice but to be.
He feels good; smells even better. Like petrichor during the spring. Like fresh cut grass permeating the summer breeze. Like ocean sprays stippling the air with sea salt. Like a bonfire shared between old friends, and you’re getting kind of sleepy now.
You’ve been hugging for what feels like hours. Soaking up each other’s body heat, basking in the other’s aura. Neither of you have made a motion to pull away. Have shown any indication of wanting to part ways. You belong here, though. You both do. Both need it, if the subtle tightening of his arms around your middle is anything to go by.
He buries his chin in the crook of your shoulder. Releases this hum that rattles your bones, and it’s the most comforting thing ever. Hands splayed on your back, rubbing reassuring circles into your spine. You’re not really sure who needed this more, but—
“This is fine. This is lovely. I could stay like this for hours.”
He laughs demurely. Soft, airy, free. You decide that you much prefer the sound of it over the facade he presents to the world around.
Mentally, you make a note to hug him more often, if only to elicit such unguarded pleasant sounds from him again.
(Just thinking about the brothers...idk how to tag :c)
Kyojuro swept down the hallway, deep in thought. His haori flared out, brushing against the walls softly.
He came to a stop and looked out to his younger sibling feeding the sparrows in the yard. Kyojuro's gleaming eyes were hidden in shadow, only the grim line of his mouth visible in the stark sunlight.
----------
"Why are you here. Begone. "
"Father, I have been assigned a new mission and depart soon. I-"
"Why do you nag me? Do as you wish. I swear... I will give you no blessing today, tomorrow, until the day you die like a fool - I promise you this. Now get out."
----------
Senjuro, sensing the gaze, stood up. He was caught off guard despite waiting for his brother and noted the somber expression.
"Did father...have anything to say?" He hurried over.
Kyojuro smiled.
"Mm."
"He is of the same mind then..." Senjuro said, wilting.
"Worry not, Senjuro, my resolve does not waver! I will continue to fulfill my duty as hashira. After all, the strong must protect the weak."
He placed his hand on his younger sibling's golden head, flattening the unruly spikes.
"Is that not why you train so hard?"
Senjuro wrinkled his nose for a moment before grinning up at his brother.
"Then, will you spar with me before you go? My form has improved...I want to show you!"
The flame hashira laughed heartily, "Of course! Your progress has been immense lately!" Senjuro beamed.
"However, it seems I must leave sooner than expected. When I return, I promise you all the training you want."
Kyojuro raised his arm and a large crow decended upon him, dark wings beating a solemn tattoo.
"RENNNGOKU KYOJUROOO, THE TRAIN IS SET TO DEPART THIS EVE!
HARK, THE INFINITY TRAIN WILL BE BOARDING TONIGHT! YOU ARE TO INTERCEPT IT AT ONCE!"
Senjuro winced. Though fond of Kaname, the cries of the Kasugai crows never ceased to send a chill down his spine. They were but omens of death: be it for the victims, the demons, or the slayers themselves.
He pushed the thought away and proffered his pinky to Kyojuro.
"It is a promise then. When you return home."
Kyo ruffled Senjuro's hair before extending his own finger, wrapping it tightly around his little brother's.
"Cross my heart and hope to-," he began.
"Don't say it," Senjuro interrupted, brow furrowed.
Kyojuro met his brother's eyes and froze for a moment. The two of them were locked in place, mutually understanding each other's misgivings; mirroring the unspoken words of despair and comfort. A silent farewell and a promise of coming home safely.
Each departure dug deeper into their hearts, threatening to shatter their fragile pretense of normalcy and unleashing the fear and doubt roiling beneath the surface. Today, it felt all the worse as they sensed one another's apprehension.
No matter how strong he was, the hashira was still mortal.
There was no question that Kyojuro would willingly pay a steep price to spare the innocent from a grisly fate. After all, there was far more at stake than just his life alone. This, they both knew.
Senjuro looked away first. His eyes were stinging.
"Hurry back, brother! I'll practice harder. And roast your favorite sweet potatoes. To sweeten the deal."
Kyojuro smiled warmly.
"Thank you, Senjuro! I look forward to it! Until then," Rengoku Kyojuro left with a wave, his haori fluttering like embers on the wind.
Imagine a casual date, visiting a theme park, or a trip with him :
- A foodie, in the I-love-the-pastries-here-I-get-it-every-Tuesday way and less the camera-gotta-eat-first kinda way
- He usually takes you to his favorite spots (the owners recognize him: "The usual, Kyo?")
- For trips, he does his share of research and planning. That isn't to say that he won't be impulsive when he sees a vendor with something fun... Street food, dives, hidden gems, fancy restaurants - He's taking you on a food adventure!
- He's always down to try new dishes. Though, I think if he has to choose between something new or something familiar, he'll get what he knows: "Yep, that hits the spot!" You end up being the adventurous one and sharing with him. He'll order it next time.
- Kyo's go-to drink is water, water, and more water. He's Mr. Stay Hydrated and owns a big tumbler covered in stickers with inspirational quotes ("DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS" and "SET YOUR HEART ABLAZE") or cute animals (cats...), half of which you may or may not have contributed. Maybe he'll have some chilled green tea. Doesn't seem like a coffee person?
- He's thankful to be sharing these experiences with you and can't hold in his excitement, so he's taking photos of everything! He'll be sending these pictures to Senjuro. He's the type to reminisce with you when you both return from your trip, over dinner or lazing on the couch. "Remember when we missed our train stop by 5 stations?" "We're so lucky we found that amazing noodle shop! Definitely going back there next time."
- Kyojuro will hold your hand everywhere. You won't lose each other in a crowd, not on his watch (not that you could lose track of his hair...)
- He'll 100% do the cheesy, touristy stuff. 100000%. Matching outfits? You bet he will! Matching keychains? Count on it. Photo with the park mascot? Done and done. Couples activities? He turns to you, eyes sparkling 🥺. You can't say no 🤣.
- Plus, he seems to be the sentimental type...Souvenirs and gifts to bring Senjuro!! Swan paddle boats, carousel rides, picnics -
Some Kyojuro headcanons (belated Valentine's celebration for my fellow Rengoku enjoyers!!)
- Kyojuro is kind of hard to read
- He gets silent when he's thinking (or upset). Tends to internalize a lot, zoning out with his mind going a million miles a minute
- He's open, honest, and friendly and his exuberance in conversation is infectious. He's a good/engaged listener so he's popular. However...
- I see him as a social introvert: enjoys company and loves to be around people but very much needs his alone time to recharge.
- As open as he is, this excludes some of his emotions: things that he's avoiding because they're "unnecessary" or "unimportant" in the greater scheme of things. He's had to mask self doubt for so long, ignore his self worth as an individual to pursue an idealized version of himself, and project a confident facade to the world, especially to Senjuro, who he is trying to shelter from the same cruel fate. If they cannot be simplified, he will continue to compartmentalize his feelings.
- Due to this, he struggles to process when he starts to like someone
- He also ends up getting attached rather easily
- He enjoys your comraderie... But...what if there's more to it?
- He's confused at first: why does his heart beat a little faster? Is he nervous? Why is he so hyper aware of what he's doing?
- He wants to spend more time with you but ends up being jumpy. Louder than usual, looking everywhere instead of you, overthinking and speaking a little faster than usual
- I see him as a cat person! Both in his personality being like a cat and wanting to own one
- He seems to fluff up when he's happy!
- After realizing how he feels, he can't take his eyes off of you
- I feel like he's touch starved, wanting to give and receive skinship but not really knowing how? He'll stiffen and melt into a hug before returning the embrace...something he probably hasn't done since he was a child...
- Kyojuro nuzzles...
- Loves being held close, leaning on you and being leaned on, holding hands
- He's always surprisingly flustered when hugged
- He smiles a lot, but with you, his eyes soften. A gentle look filled with love...
Thinking about Kyojuro being a responsible older brother and lovingly cooking meals for Senjuro that taste... a little questionable.
The fish is a little too charred, the soup a touch too salty, and rice kinda crunchy...
Senjuro wolfing it down, smiling while holding back tears, and silently vowing to cook in his brother's stead to have edible dishes. Or hovering around Kyojuro in the kitchen, trying to salvage what he can.
Kyojuro proudly taking the bento his little brother made to work, showing it off to everyone around him.
"My brother is so good at cooking! Hahaha! Look at this tamagoyaki! Perfection!"
Roommate!Kyojuro who’s been your best friend since Pre-K. You know each other inside and out, down to your usual orders and all your favorite restaurants.
Roommate!Kyojuro brings you food whenever he stops to grab takeout, always thinking of you and what you’d want. Haven’t eaten lunch yet? He’s driving up to your work so you can eat in his car. Falling asleep during college classes? He’ll show up with your favorite coffee order.
Roommate!Kyojuro can read your mood with a single look and knows exactly what to say to get you cracking up. He’s emotionally intelligent and gives you massive side eye if you try to lie and say you’re feeling fine when you’re clearly not.
Roommate!Kyojuro makes you do silly TikToks with him and has countless random pictures of you doing the most mundane shit in his camera roll. Most of the photos he takes are ruined somehow; there’s always a glare of light or you move at the last moment. Among those god-awful cryptid pics are albums upon albums of pictures of you two together. All photos from trips you’ve taken, those impulsive 3 am outings, and movie nights with you passed out on his shoulder.
Roommate!Kyojuro, who sends you a meme when you’re both supposed to be asleep just to hear you laugh through the wall separating your rooms.
Roommate!Kyojuro pokes his head into the kitchen the moment he hears pots and pans being moved around. “What’re you cooking?”
Roommate!Kyojuro relies on you for meals that aren’t takeout since he’s a pretty crummy cook, and though you’ve made progress teaching him, his rice still comes out crunchy and he overcooks most other things. Whenever you’re away for a few days he sends you pics of the meals he attempts by himself seeking your approval. Pls tell him his grilled cheese looks amazing, he’s so proud of it.
Roommate!Kyojuro will actually RKO you if you even try to do the dishes. “You go through the trouble of cooking for me every day, I don’t want you to even look at those dishes you hear me?” And if he finds out you did them, you’re in for an earful.
Roommate!Kyojuro would never force you to come to the gym with him but always insists that he come along when you do. His close proximity wards off creeps and he’s an amazing hype man so you never complain, but he genuinely just wants to make sure you’re safe while you’re there.
Roommate!Kyojuro cuddles with you on the couch and gets sucked into your tv dramas. He has the funniest reactions to shady moments and fights. He never fails to fall asleep at integral moments and needs to be briefed again, but acts so betrayed when he catches you watching them without him.
Roommate!Kyojuro gets into crochet and makes you cute little plushies and socks. He’s SO proud to present his first full blanket to you and melts into a puddle whenever he finds you snuggled up with it.
Roommate!Kyojuro has a bit of a “stray problem” and is always feeding the stray cats that roam around your apartment complex. At least two or three of them have become 100% indoor cats and he considers them his children. Takes them to get all their shots, sends you clips of them doing silly stuff while you’re at work, and crochets toys for them. He tears up when the most aloof kitty starts batting one of the crochet mice around. Sends you a frantic text of “HE TOUCHED IT!!!”
Roommate!Kyojuro mindlessly tosses your laundry in with his if he sees it building up.
Roommate!Kyojuro sneaks your shampoo because he likes the way you smell and acts dumb when you complain about running out so fast.
Roommate!Kyojuro respects you too much to steal your panties when they get mixed in with his laundry but desperately humps into his fist later that night to thoughts of you filling them. A hand clapped over his mouth to smother his loud whimpers so he doesn’t alert your sleeping form through the paper-thin wall between your rooms.
Roommate!Kyojuro wants to tell you how everything you do inadvertently turns him on, but would rather die than risk fucking up your friendship.
Roommate!Kyojuro that always cums with your name on his lips without fail, golden-red eyes rolled back as he fantasizes about your hands replacing his own.
Roommate!Kyojuro who never forgot the time you were dared to kiss at a party in high school. The soft press of your plush lips against his trembling ones has been burnt into his mind, always surfacing when he’s rutting into a pillow, pretending it's you. He imagines kissing you so often it’s a wonder you don’t see the way his eyes stare at your lips when you drink from a straw or chew at a pen.
Roommate!Kyojuro would do anything for you, but selfishly wishes you'd see him as more than that.
characters who view themselves as tools/weapons first and people second... characters who martyr themselves for a cause because they think that's the only way they can be worth something... characters who push themselves past their breaking point again and again and again... characters for whom devotion and masochism are inseparable... characters whose self-sacrifice becomes self-annihilation...... what was my point again? i had a point. anyway.
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