l'amoureuse

to get the painful thoughts out of my head and my heart ~ for the ones I loved

[l-amoureuse]

How I wish to be in love again.

I can only remember, relive the memories, feel a hint of everything.

It doesn't have to be him.

It doesn't have to be him.

[l-amoureuse]

Again

I saw you in my dreams again tonight.

And it went the same way it always does.

I was back with you guys and it felt like it did back then. The same work, the same faces.

And I felt your feelings in the air hoping you'd confess to me because I never could.

But neither could you.

[l-amoureuse]

Tempted by you

So terribly, terribly tempted to message you.

Even after all these years. And all that's happened.

But I would never.

I couldn't.

And so sure it would lead to nothing.

[l-amoureuse]

Sparks flew

I can't help but reminisce.

About you and me and how it felt back then.

The glances, the jokes, your questions and worries. The rare touches that felt like fire on my skin.

You showed so much affection and I knew it then. But I was never brave enough to do anything.

And neither were you.

So all I can ask myself is ~ what would've happened to the sparks that flew?

[l-amoureuse]

420 km and 6 years

It's been six years.

Separated by 420 km.

And yet one dream is enough.

To break my promise to myself not to look you up. Not to search your name, look for your face.

But I did. And here I am. And suddenly there you are. In my mind. All the time.

[darkisolatedangstyromanticyellow]

Fragen an ihn/Questions for him, 20.11.25

Dear diary,

for I cannot ask him, please hold the questions that burn me inside.

Hast du es auch gefühlt?

Did you feel it too?

Bist du wütend auf mich, weil ich ging?

Are you angry with me for leaving?

Warst du traurig, als ich ging?

Were you sad when I left?

Denkst du manchmal an mich?

Do you think of me sometimes?

Wie erinnerst du dich an mich?

How do you remember me?

Hast du mich jemals vermisst?

Did you ever miss me?

[l-amoureuse]

Today, I'm thinking about you.

You and your red beard.

[l-amoureuse]

When I loved you it felt so good.

Now I don't.

Looking back I miss it.

I miss my feelings. The hope, the relief, even the pain.

But it is good the way it is, for you are no longer in my life.

And loving you would hurt.

When I loved you it felt so good.

[l-amoureuse]

You are the only person I can't look in the eyes although it's the only thing I really want.

~♤~

Your gaze is so intense, I am afraid to break under it.

Your eyes are so deep, I am afraid to lose myself in them.

Your stare is so piercing, I am afraid you'll see through my shield and into my heart.

I

[l-amoureuse]

I honestly, truly wonder if somebody has wished before that I was in their arms on those long and lonely nights - as I wish you were in mine today.

[l-amoureuse]

I cannot stop imagining you beside me at every family gathering.

[l-amoureuse]

You are like the sun.

I want to look at you, feel your warmth and live in your light.

But looking at you hurts. And sometimes you shine too bright and too warm for me to be near your light.

[l-amoureuse]

Today your face makes me sad.

The sheer beauty of it, being close enough to see the details, yet too far away and unable to inspect it the way I desire.

[l-amoureuse]

How long do I need to wait?

How much do I need to carry?

How far do I have to go?

How strong do I have to be?

[l-amoureuse]

Vielleicht liebe ich dich~

[l-amoureuse]

I thought I had loved before.

Strong, hopelessly.

■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■▪︎■

But loving you now I realize...

that love came from desperation, loneliness, a fear of not belonging.

○□■●○□■●○□■●○□■●○□■●○□■●

Loving you now I realize...

It is you.

It is a pure, warm longing I cannot explain.

It is pain, so much hope and fear.

[l-amoureuse]

I love you

for your eyes are the colour of the sweetest honey

for your smile is infectious and lightens my heart to an extent I never thought possible

for your laugh warms and holds me

for your voice calms even the most stressed nerve

for your soul as it not only is beautiful on the outside but within even more so

I feel drawn to you by every fiber of my being, every nerve and every cell.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

How do I survive you?

[l-amoureuse]

Falling for you couldn't be easier.