Love Heartbreak & Karma

Just an aspiring writer, working on her grammar, with many stories to share, and hearts to console & comfort. Feel free to judge *Photos are not mine unless stated otherwise. Credit goes to the original blogger*

[l-h-k]

A Boy Turned Into A Man

I need someone different. Something different. Someone who isn’t the usual. Who humbles himself and mans up when he needs to. Who isn’t afraid to say what he wants. Who can prove himself right from the start. Someone who values me. Who uplifts me. Who isn’t all talk but knows he has to prove it with his actions too. Who doesn’t let the physical things blind him and knows that when it all comes down to it the heart is what needs to be true. Someone who sees potential and wants to work at it no matter what circumstance comes through. Someone who believes in me the way I want to believe in you. Someone who doesn’t give up even when they have every reason to. I want someone who doesn’t exist basically. And that’s why I settled for you.

[l-h-k]

You never had to give me a chance but you did however have to give me an answer why. Because I gave you all my answers, thoughtfully, thinking of you before myself and you want to compare me to you as if you can? Please! Truth is we're nothing alike because unlike you I can choose to function properly even though you choose to play with hearts until they dwindle and die.

The King Of Hearts | i.love

[l-h-k]

I wanted you so bad to understand that I wanted you only but you blocked me out in every which way possible. You thought of yourself only and your needs, your wants, never mines. You really thought I was that wrapped around you? The one who never gave me a reason to stay. You did nothing to entice me or make me feel right about all I had seen up until that day. No validation and yet you thought I would just remain?! Well you were wrong and though you didn't believe me before I hope you finally did when I dropped you like the good for nothing fuck you were to me.

The King Of Hearts | i.love

[l-h-k]

And didn’t you look at me and see all the sincerity in my eyes or hear all the honesty in my words?

The King Of Hearts | i.love

[l-h-k]

But by far what hurt me the most was that on top of the fact that you were never there for me you also avoided mentioning us at all costs. You avoided the subject all together as if it didn't exist. And all I could bring myself to do was bring it back to your attention to make sure you hadn't forgotten. To remind you that one late afternoon I poured out my heart to you and it wasn't easy. I humbled myself, opening me up to possible rejection and I was ok with that because I knew no matter what it wouldn't change what we had. You were my friend and if I couldn't have more of you then having just that was good enough. And all I could think now was why didn't you think the same? Why did you waste so much time? In the end you claimed to have come to this same conclusion but your efforts didn't increase they just stayed the same.

The King Of Hearts | i.love

[l-h-k]

How dysfunctional could you be to not even know who you are? To not even know what you want? But I never thought that you could be this confused and less about me. That you would've kept me in this back and forth with no support from you to sustain me. I was trying so hard to stand tall and you were just burning me to the ground. Making me want to forget everything I now was questioning if I should regret. You weren't there and you never made it seem like you wanted me to help. You pushed me farther and farther as if I was such a bother and honestly that was how I always felt. That was how you always made me feel. As if I didn't matter.

The King Of Hearts | i.love

[l-h-k]

The King Of Hearts

And in the end all I could think was if I could go back and tell myself what I know now would I have even been surprised? Surprised to hear that you did me like this? You of all people did this to me of all people. And all I can wonder is did you think I deserved it? How dysfunctional could you be to not even know who you are? To not even know what you want? But I never thought that you could be this confused and less about me. That you would’ve kept me in this back and forth with no support from you to sustain me. I was trying so hard to stand tall and you were just burning me to the ground. Making me want to forget everything I now was questioning if I should regret. You weren’t there and you never made it seem like you wanted me to help. You pushed me farther and farther as if I was such a bother and honestly that was how I always felt. That was how you always made me feel. As if I didn’t matter. But by far what hurt me the most was that on top of the fact that you were never there for me you also avoided mentioning us at all costs. You avoided the subject all together as if it didn’t exist. And all I could bring myself to do was bring it back to your attention to make sure you hadn’t forgotten. To remind you that one late afternoon I poured out my heart to you and it wasn’t easy. I humbled myself, opening me up to possible rejection and I was ok with that because I knew no matter what it wouldn’t change what we had. You were my friend and if I couldn’t have more of you then having just that was good enough. And all I could think now was why didn’t you think the same? Why did you waste so much time? In the end you claimed to have come to this same conclusion but your efforts didn’t increase they just stayed the same. And didn’t you look at me and see all the sincerity in my eyes or hear all the honesty in my words? I wanted you so bad to understand that I wanted you only but you blocked me out in every which way possible. You thought of yourself only and your needs, your wants, never mines. You really thought I was that wrapped around you? The one who never gave me a reason to stay. You did nothing to entice me or make me feel right about all I had seen up until that day. No validation and yet you thought I would just remain?! Well you were wrong and though you didn’t believe me before I hope you finally did when I dropped you like the good for nothing fuck you were to me. You never had to give me a chance but you did however have to give me an answer why. Because I gave you all my answers, thoughtfully, thinking of you before myself and you want to compare me to you as if you can? Please! Truth is we’re nothing alike because unlike you I can choose to function properly even though you choose to play with hearts until they dwindle and die.

[l-h-k]

So in the end it was no surprise why she dropped him. She was so tired of yet another time winding up to be second best. She wanted to be in first place and since he couldn't place her there she decided to give him a taste of what it felt like to be her for a change. To feel like she didn't matter enough to deserve a answer as to why she could never deserve him. Even though she now knew he didn't deserve someone as enchanting and breathtakingly beautiful as she was too.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

They were a mess. Filled with accusations, arguments, loud voices and cries to get the other person to understand their half of the story. They each stood by but nothing progressed. She opened up to him just so he could snatch her heart right out her chest, drop it on the floor and walk by it like he could care less. She waited with all the patience she could find herself to possess but he never came through.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

But he assumed he knew it all, that she thought she knew it all but see she didn't. She was always well aware of this but in the end the truth bared heavier on her than any of his repeated false concern ever did. She was alone and he could see it. He saw her standing there but he shut her out and pushed her away right when he saw she needed him most. What good was it for him to have been there for her when the second shit was falling over he was already bolting towards the door. He was weak and she was strong. But now they had switched places and nothing could put them back together again.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

She knew that he was passing up a jewel for temporary treasures and amusements. Her heart wanted to soothe his since it had been wounded but he always left her clueless as to why he couldn't let her in to consume him. She knew she could make him content without needing absolutely all of him just yet.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

He had better things to tend to, better people to meet and places to go see. She was just a gust in the wind and he was the sky with all the rest of natures beauty to enthrall him. She wanted him to stop just to take her in if only for a mere second and yet somehow he always found it in him to say he couldn't. He claimed her hurt was his own but yet she knew he couldn't relate. He couldn't even sit around long enough to contemplate whether she was worth it. But well worth it she was and she herself knew this.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

But it didn't change the fact that when she looked back and thought of him the way she envisioned him changing everytime she fell in love once again. She kept falling for the idea of him being everything she wanted instead of taking in the sad truth that when he faced her he was nothing that was to her benefit. He was never for her.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

She just couldn't understand anymore. How someone who meant the world to her didn't mean a damn thing now. As far as she was concerned she never meant a damn thing to him either.

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures | i.love

[l-h-k]

His Jewel Among Temporary Treasures

She just couldn’t understand anymore. How someone who meant the world to her didn’t mean a damn thing now. As far as she was concerned she never meant a damn thing to him either. But it didn’t change the fact that when she looked back and thought of him the way she envisioned him changing everytime she fell in love once again. She kept falling for the idea of him being everything she wanted instead of taking in the sad truth that when he faced her he was nothing that was to her benefit. He was never for her. He had better things to tend to , better people to meet and places to go see. She was just a gust in the wind and he was the sky with all the rest of natures beauty to enthrall him. She wanted him to stop just to take her in if only for a mere second and yet somehow he always found it in him to say he couldn’t. He claimed her hurt was his own but yet she knew he couldn’t relate. He couldn’t even sit around long enough to contemplate whether she was worth it. But well worth it she was and she herself knew this. She knew that he was passing up a jewel for temporary treasures and amusements. Her heart wanted to soothe his since it had been wounded but he always left her clueless as to why he couldn’t let her in to consume him. She knew she could make him content without needing absolutely all of him just yet. But he assumed he knew it all, that she thought she knew it all but see she didn’t. She was always well aware of this but in the end the truth bared heavier on her than any of his repeated false concern ever did. She was alone and he could see it. He saw her standing there but he shut her out and pushed her away right when he saw she needed him most. What good was it for him to have been there for her when the second shit was falling over he was already bolting towards the door. He was weak and she was strong. But now they had switched places and nothing could put them back together again. They were a mess. Filled with accussations, arguments, loud voices and cries to get the other person to understand their half of the story. They each stood by but nothing progressed. She opened up to him just so he could snatch her heart right out her chest, drop it on the floor and walk by it like he could care less. She waited with all the patience she could find herself to possess but he never came through. So in the end it was no surprise why she dropped him. She was so tired of yet another time winding up to be second best. She wanted to be in first place and since he couldn’t place her there she decided to give him a taste of what it felt like to be her for a change. To feel like she didn’t matter enough to deserve a answer as to why she could never deserve him. Even though she now knew he didn’t deserve someone as enchanting and breathtakingly beautiful as she was too.

[l-h-k]

My sincerest apologies that you didn’t happen to fit in the description of something I would consider worth giving a shit.

Water & Oil | i.love

[l-h-k]

Cause truth is I don’t got time to be wasting it. I got one life to live and you’ve taken up just about too much of it from when I last checked.

Water & Oil | i.love