"Courage, Dear Heart".

Nothing is permanent, so everything is precious 💖🧡

[zmpl]

has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull

[kyberinthevoid]

I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.

[probuccalfat]

it’s a genuine red flag to me when someone hates cats

[dead-core]

i just need to have more rules for myself. more rules and limits. surely that will help me

[5altwaterfall]

and punishments. more punishments. surely that will help

[bakersfield-row]

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

[shaddy-bee]

[asexualeros]

many people would be happier and feel less broken if we de-centered romantic relationships but idk if queer people are ready for this discussion. simply because if you are traumatized and soft conversion therapy’d out of expressing romantic desire, the idea that romance is not important is traumatic. and then there’s the pervasive family of origin trauma. if your partner fulfills the ache of unconditional love that you never felt growing up, you understandably will want to prioritize that relationship. plus there’s the pervasive sexual shame.

which means that people who are aro and ace kind of have to navigate a soup of other people’s trauma that we trigger by existing, and definitely trigger by taking up space and CERTAINLY trigger by offering observations like this one.

[knifearo]

are people under the impression that aromantic people never want to have close personal relationships with the people in their lives. "oh i wish i was aro it would save me all this drama!" actually human relationships are always deep and complicated and messy and have the potential to hurt and help and change your life and being romantic is just one possible aspect of that. aromantic people want to be close to the people around them just like anyone else. and i know the real issue is that people think romantic relationships are the only way to be truly close to someone else but it's weird and off-putting to constantly hear the implication that aros are somehow fundamentally incapable of forming relationships that would impact their lives negatively cause they don't wanna go on dates with people. not even mentioning the aros who do

[astro-nomaly]

A certain flavor of aroace angst where you think of a person as Home and yet. You are not in love. It is not platonic. It is not ‘found family’. It is an exclusive relationship, they are the only one for you, and you Are Not In Love

[pokemon]

[ask-spooky-manor]

Jack n nat on the new chart😱

I should actually explain that lol. They’re basically platonic partners. Jack is aromantic and only likes Nat platonically while Nat has romantic feelings for Jack.

They’re not dating, they’re more like close friends who share the occasional kiss and go on the occasional date mainly cause Jack really cares for Nat and wants to do these things for her even when he personally is neutral about these actions.

And of course Nat is fully aware that her feelings are essentially not reciprocated, (Jack does love her, it’s just not romantic) but it doesn’t upset her because she very much loves what she has with Jack. Something relaxed and fun, and they both love each other’s company.

Basically they’re two asexual people chilling. Not dating yet something a little more than just friends. A comfortable in between.

[kisstheashes]

Like. I really don't wanna bring up the harassment it's just a jumping off point for what I'm talking about. Like fuck them for disparaging my relationship and all that shit and it also shows they have a severe misunderstanding of aromantic people, and how relationships with aromantic people work.

Aromantic does not mean you do not love, you do not care. It means you do not experience the sliver of attraction that is romantic love. Which you would think, you would think that oh, that makes things weird if you're a romantic person in a relationship with someone who is aromantic?

And....no.

Because here's the thing. Me and him ( @bloodsoakedhxrny ) got together on my birthday last year because despite the physical distance, he put aside as much time in 2 days as he possibly could to dote on me, care for me, and make sure I felt special and loved. And when he, later in the day on my birthday, said "when we get together" as a someday I went FUCK IT!! ITS NOT SOMEDAY ITS NOW!!

Because I felt so loved, and so adored and so special that this love I'd been containing for him just burst out and went NO MORE WAITING! Even if he does not feel "romance", I felt romanced. I swooned and fell and his care and love does not have to be romantic for that to be true.

I don't think that makes a lot of sense so let me try to elaborate more. He can feel no romance, while I feel romanced by his actions. It is not a paradox and yes, it does make sense. He's aromantic, not stupid. He knows what I like, he knows what makes me feel cared for and loved, and he will willingly perform those actions to see me happy.

And honestly, the idea that he is not getting much out of romantic actions and doing them anyway to see me happy is striking, and to me one of the most loving things you could do.

It's not hard. In fact I don't even think about the fact that he's aromantic. He makes me happy, I make him happy, and that's really that. We're together, and for simplicity's sake it's bf/gf to most of the world. Because we don't need to let strangers into the nuances of our relationship.

[stonegoddex]

what if we admitted to each other that it's not always really romance that we want. What if we admitted that what we're really craving is intimacy and society taught us romance is the only way to get it.

[comicallyqueer]

An oriented aro ace person might also be in a relationship despite lacking attraction such as if they are cupioromantic ( see my other post)

anyways, alt text ( sorry that I have been bad at that recently)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you know Aro Aces can have an orientation?

Ace people (Asexual) don't feel sexual attraction

Aro people (Aromantic) don't feel romantic attraction

That doesn't stop them from experiencing OTHER forms of attraction!

Some kinds of tertiary attraction:

aesthetic- the ability to admire beauty

sensual - appeals to senses such as touch in a non-sexual way

alterous - a deep emotional connection

queerplatonic - relationships that aren't romantic but are more than friends.

An aro ace person who experiences these kinds of attractions might feel that it's significant enough to take on another label to describe it

"I only feel queer platonic attraction towards other women! I'm an aro ace lesbian!"

"I feel enough aesthetic and sensual attraction to men that I call myself a gay aro ace.

I like being touched but not in a sexual or romantic way, such as holding hands and cuddling!"

Remember - Engaging in what is perceived to be romantic behaviors doesn't necessarily indicate romantic or sexual attraction

It doesn't mean they are faking, It doesn't mean they are less aro ace, It means they are describing a tertiary attraction that affects their life.

[thequotespot]

“I am careful with my energy because I finally understand its worth.”

[bridgethehook]

i am a museum of everyone i have ever loved

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚

[a-buge]

being asexual gives me very direct perspective into the way people think about sex and how it's not really just thought of as any other activity and that people might just simply dislike it. nobody gets on my case for not wanting to ride big crazy roller coasters or not wanting to get on a boat. nobody cares that I don't like to eat celery or tomatoes or that I don't like to play RPGs. but if I don't like having sex then suddenly people show up to be like oh no it's so sad you're missing out on this fundamental part of human experience, but to me it's literally just like any other preference I have ever had. the only reason I talk about it particularly often is just because people don't seem to realize you can just simply have such a preference, or they apply strange magical thinking towards sex. so sorry that I'm just not interested lol

[anistarrose]

instead of "aromantics can still date," take a moment to consider phrases like:

aromantics can do whatever they want forever

aromantics have as much choice in whether to date or not date someone as alloromantic people do

aromantics can have whatever relationship with romance confuses you the most personally

and likewise, instead of "asexuals can still have sex," take a moment to consider phrases like:

asexuals can do whatever they want forever

asexuals have as much choice in whether to have sex or not have sex with someone as allosexual people do

asexuals can have whatever relationship with sex confuses you the most personally

[aromanticofficial]

official aromantic post