The Random Blog

I sorta guess that this is a humorish blog? So......yeah....... enjoy it or leave it, I guess. :/ profile picture credit goes to imaginism on deviantart

[fapitalism-deactivated20120910]

[raisemysonbootlicker]

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

[gvldenhour]

“I’m getting back in line.”

[sniggadoodles]

OKAY but i just reblogged this last night and guess what i got today from my workplace’s self-audit!

THANK YOU PATRICK FOR FREE MONEY

[musinvenusian]

BLESS ME PATRICK

[lily-d247]

PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU

[ghara2]

@billshitposts

[billshitposts-deactivated201608]

*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money

[merakid-0]

Can i just *Gets in line*…there

[dickzoned-deactivated20200818]

Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔

[tinytea]

Honestly I know it’s kinda silly…but weirdly… It does seem to work

[lonelyasf3ck]

Im getting in line! 

[red4mario]

PUT ME IN LINE

[setheverman]

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

[muck-raker-deactivated20181222]

#this is the positive version of this post #it is friendly and brings luck

[frogsuggest]

friend of the day! meet handsom roundboy desert rain frog!

he lick!

he yell!

he round!

he grump!

he squish!

he run!

gone!

goodbye!!!!

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

And I’ll love him forever

[gitblog-monster]

How can you talk about this friend without letting people know what he sounds like?

[screwyouandrew]

He beauty He grace He a potato with a face

[sleeepypeaches]

@butchbeauregard

[richardrider]

harry potter au where dumbledore is replaced by ron swanson

[instant-oatmeal]

“Son, did you or did you not place your name in this stupid fire cup?”

[marinermo]

“Welcome back to school, children. This year, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this woman from the Ministry of Magic. Why the government is interfering in the affairs of a private institution is beyond me. If you have any complaints, please do not bring them to me. End of speech.”

[ta7yafilisteen-deactivated20170]

You can meet someone tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known for years, time means nothing; character does.

[chicks1023]

[markparham]

You Are Going To Have So Much Success In 2018 (pass it on)

[stephmood]

PASS IT ON MY BABIES

[foxqueen-katarian]

Things my dentist has actually said to me:

“Well, either the x-rays lied to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth. I’m going with the second one because it’s way cooler.”

“When was the last time you flossed? Your gums aren’t bleeding which means I’m either not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly”

“You don’t need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my facebook for a second and this is the best excuse I can come up with. Don’t worry your insurance will cover it.”

“Take a whole handful of toothbrushes, I can’t order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone.”

“Remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour…or actually you know forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now. I make money based on peoples bad decisions, you should probably stop brushing your teeth too.”

“I became a dentist because I like making children cry and they don’t let you do that as a regular doctor.”

[spectralserval1138]

Chaotic neutral dentist?

[your-instructions-from-moscow]

if you’re reading this, it’s too late

I already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. there’s nothing you can do to stop them

[everystarstorm]

This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

[yehudigorl]

the phrase “let nazis have peaceful protests” is an oxymoron. every single nazi belief is built on a foundation of genocide, violence, and hatred. that’s their entire fucking schtick so it’s literally impossible for nazis to be peaceful in any way

[latinxa-deactivated20180331]

when people yell at retail workers/waitstaff/etc. for no reason

[babelien7-deactivated20150727]

*adjusts my tinfoil hat* y’all are crazy

[pettycentral]

[smatter-deactivated20220909]

This might be my favorite post hahaha

[pdothamman-deactivated20170513]

I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD YO BECAUSE DON’T THEY KNOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE???

[jon-snow]

when we were babies my dad was a stay-at-home dad while my mom kicked ass in the courtroom but he would carry my twin brother and me around with one baby on the front and one on his back in backpacks

and women would come up and look at how cute i was and coo over me and be like “awww how cute wow”

and my dad would be like, “YOU KNOW WHAT’S CUTER THAN ONE BABY”

and then he’d spin around

and BAM

there was my brother

[kansass-deactivated20230224]

being nice is so easy just do it

[safegore-deactivated20190610]

you sound neurotypical

[skineater1998]

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[gramarye]

person: hey be nice it’s easy some jackass on tumblr dot com: um ACTUALLY? some of us are mean and hurtful to COPE :/ you ableist FUCK

[zackancodeine]

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.

[noranbit-deactivated20180511]

Chaotic Good Boy

[fujoshijpeg]

no other person on this planet was made for you, they were made for themselves. love is all about choices. no one is going to be perfect for you, and i think we need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was “made for you” because it isn’t true. no one is made for you, besides you. other people belong to themselves. if you want to make it work with someone, it’s about hard work, understanding, compassion, communication, and choice