GORILLAZ PROFILE: 2D’S HEALTH
has been constantly abused by Murdoc Niccals
Murdoc has choked, ran over, imprisoned, put on chloroform & punched 2D which led to bruises, losing teeth, putting him into a coma & making 2D more anxious
he doesn’t know the difference between accidents & him becoming Murdoc’s punching bag
he doesn’t believe that Murdoc has had him almost killed
he actually had teeth in all Plastic Beach storyboards
has a grade IV hyphema caused by Murdoc
his eyes become white when nervous
he thinks his teeth are fine & doesn’t want them fixed because he can still sip through straws with his mouth closed
he’s often forgetful & unaware
while being on a coma, all he remembers is Stravinsky’s “Right of Spring”
he has medication-overuse headache
he has low self-esteem & isn’t used to receiving compliments
has acute Stockholm syndrome & he just said he doesn’t have that cause he’s never been to Norway
he gets nightmares from his experiences being in Gorillaz
he held his crap back in phase 2
he always needs to go to the CR
he fucks many women (as long as they can vote)
in fact, he had “the clap”
he thinks tasers are meant for zapping cows
he doesn’t know how to tie his shoes (or was that a joke? It’s hard to tell)
he considers running away from crabs & eating your own clothes as survival skills
he believes sharknados exist
he accidentally got his dick stuck on a clapperboard
he doesn’t know what a chode is
He thinks mediocre people die early & nobody knows because they’re mediocre….
he thinks Tom Waits is 106 years old
he thinks the ocean is small & he is embarrassed about it (he never told anyone)
he had a driver all the time in the early phases & if his driver’s not there, he’d ask you for a 50p
he has eaten a Mexican whale named, Massive Dick
developed a slow-cooking method involving putting the whale in sunlight & wait for it to turn green (three weeks)
& seasons with yellow sand
has various food intolerance (one of which is pickle allergy)
he ate his own clothes when he was stranded on an island
he ate glitter & said it tastes horrible
he drinks peppermint tea helps his digestion systems & gives him a minty fresh breath
he eats cheap sulfate with pistachio nuts
he is afraid of global warming & Gok Wan
he is creeped out by zombies because they always move so slowly but still get to you in the end
he was freaked out by the kids with their sacks hanging out back in Kong Studios
he knew Kong Studios was trouble but those kids stopped him from getting to the toilet
he has cetaphobia (fear of whales) & he doesn’t want to say why unless he gets a flashback (like those on TV)
has triskaidekaphobia (fear of number 13)
has galaphobia (fear of milk)
he is also 7 lbs (based on NME, probably due to them being fictional)
his eye colour is black with blood clotting from Murdoc (originally blue)
during phase 4, he said that the reason for his black eyes are due to formaldehyde
his hair colour is blue (originally brown)
LAST UPDATED BY A.G.: 20170729
DATE WHEN ORIGINAL CREATOR DELETED: 20170801
MENTION ORIGINAL CONTENT CREATOR
