Summary: What if after Castiel rescued Dean’s soul from Hell, Dean refused to get back in his body, begging to be able to atone for what he did in Hell.
There was a black dog on the church grounds.
It never left. Always sitting out in the stormy rains. Disappearing when there was sun; there usually wasn’t.
Clouds hung over the small church. Rain plinking against the roof, drowning out any conversations of those few remaining stragglers after Sunday service.
“Father Castiel?” A small, young, feminine voice called.
The named priest turned around. Taking his attention away from the creature and stepping away from the window, letting the curtain he had pulled back fall down into place.
“Yes, my child?” Father Castiel inquired the fledgling girl, still light-haired and cherub-cheeked in her youth.
“Who does that dog outside belong too?” Such a sweet, little girl. Head tilted, speech lilting in curiosity.
Father Castiel smiled with his eyes, face softening as he explained to the innocent child, “He belongs to the church. He protects the church and her believers.”
“Oh.” She said-, looking down at her shoes as she rubbed the sole of it against the old wooden floors. “So… he’s good then?”
He nodded. “Yes, my child. Why do you ask?” There was something more here.
She wrung her lips, looking off to the side. “He growled at me.” She muttered. “I just wanted to pet him.”
Father Castiel smiled wider, amused at her fallacy. “The living cannot touch that dog. Perhaps one day, after you have lived your life, long and full, he will be your guide up to Heaven.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s hard to get to Heaven by yourself, so he helps you.”
“No.” She shakes her head, eyebrows furrowed and worried, “I mean—why can’t he go to Heaven.”
Father Castiel’s smile sank to a void, blank slate before it was quickly replaced with a fake, tight one. The sad twinkle-/tremor in his eye gave everything away.
“Well… the first soul that is buried in a cemetery becomes the one who learns to guide others to peace in Heaven. There are those souls who long to protect and help others, even after their passing. He chose this… calling before he
“So, he’ll never be able to go to Heaven?” Tears prickled in her eyes, threatening to fall.
“He will go when he feels like he’s done enough. Besides,” he reminds her, “there is always the rapture. Then there will be no more work for him to do and he will be able to have his eternal peace.”
“Oh, yeah.” She giggles, blonde curls bouncing as her body shook.
“Do you have any other questions?” To which she shook her head. Eyes closed as hair swished in and out of her face. “Run along then, my child.”
She turned on her heel, waving as she ran. “Thank you, Father Castiel!”
He raised a hand, returning her wave and watching her disappear. He turned back to the obscured window and sighed, letting his hand drop.
Father Castiel walked through the church. Making his way outside to sit on the back porch, just out of the rain’s reach. Watching as the rain came down and soaking into everything. Pools of water began to form on top of the oversaturated grass.
He heard the creature’s breath before he saw it.
The dog came and sat down next to him, unafraid. Father Castiel raised a hand and scratched the soft, dry fur around the creature’s ears.
They were lying on the couch. Dean had wanted to “watch a movie” with him, but Castiel knew. Dean really just wanted to cuddle.
Dean was lying on his back, a pillow under his head.
Castiel was lying nearly on top of him, a little weight slipped off to the side. Legs slotted together and arms around him.
He had his face buried in Dean’s neck. He really didn’t care about the movie. Besides, it was dark pressed against the man, hiding away from the too bright lights.
An odd urge struck him. He wanted… he wanted to lick Dean.
He parted his mouth slowly, then reached out his tongue just enough to touch Dean’s skin before darting away.
He paused, waiting for any reaction. He got none.
He went for it again. And again. Just lightly. Just testing. But no reaction.
Still entranced by the act Castiel lost himself in flicking his tongue against Dean’s skin. Tasting it in the little kitten licks.
Dean tipped his head back slowly and sighed, like he was getting more relaxed, unwinding a little bit more. Castiel immediately saw the opportunity of the new skin and lapped his way up to it.
He came back to himself when Dean’s arms suddenly tightened around him accompanied by a groan. It was then that Castiel noticed that Dean was holding still for him, tipping his head back to give him access. Panting and shuddering.
“Are you okay?” Castiel asked, worried.
“Yeah. Sorry, it’s just really sensitive.” Dean whispered, laughing.
“Do you want me to stop?” He didn’t want to do anything Dean didn’t want or make him feel uncomfortable.
A moment’s pause.
“No.”
Castiel smirked and closed his eyes again, relaxing into Dean. He flicked his tongue out at that one spot Dean loved, adoring the way the man sighed and surrendered.
Licking. Tasting. He didn’t move spots. Just concentrating on this one.
Dean’s hands caressed up and down his body. It was relaxing. Having Dean’s hands on him. Lapping at Dean’s skin with the darkness surrounding him. Warmth enveloping him.
He could fall asleep like this. In arms that didn’t want to let go. With the man he didn’t want to let go of.
Castiel placed a surreptitious kiss on the damp skin before continuing his ministrations, never seeing the smile gracing Dean’s lips.
Listening to: Эти сны (These Dreams) by Анна Кошмал (Anna Koshmal) (link)
Wearing: Workout clothes.
Excited about: Being able to understand the first 6 pages of Cornelia by Mima Maxey. (link)
Nervous about: Having severely reduced freedom after this semester.
Procrastinating on: Putting my hot sauce back in the fridge. I’m actually super on top of things today.
Working on: Demesne and Volitant. I got some really sweet comments these last few days and I really want to get the next chapters out. <3
Listening to: Curl up and die by Relient K (super pretty song)
Wearing: My star pajama set
Excited about: Spring break! I’m visiting family all this week. So I’m a bit busy with that and haven’t been writing nearly at all.
Nervous about: Going back to school and seeing more family tomorrow.
Procrastinating on: Everything.
Working on: Really random things.
“Baby.” A sweet murmur. “Stop. You don’t need those bad thoughts. Shhh. I’m right here. I’ll take all of them away. You don’t need to worry about anything.”
Everything is better in his arms. Everything is warmer and darker and it doesn’t feel like the world is too much. Hiding away, his head stops turning, whirling, he can relax.
But he is too much. He’s too kind.
“I don’t deserve this.”
A hand comes up to pet his hair. “Yes, you do. You deserve so much more. You deserve to be happy.” The hand comes down to brush his cheek. “You deserve to be held. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that.”
“Please, Cas.” Dean begged. He doesn’t know what he’s pleading for. Maybe for it to stop. Maybe for more.
Castiel sighs that sweet, understanding sigh. Kissing the top of Dean’s head.
“Come here.”
Dean clutches onto Castiel as sweet nothings are murmured to him. He lets himself sink into the possibilities of the words. His mind wanting to believe Cas, wanting to soak up everything.
“You work so hard and care for everyone around you. This time,” A hitch in the ex-angel’s breath and a kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to take care of you.”
The contact is both too much and not enough. The overwhelming touch that makes his body feel like it’s on fire, prickling like he shouldn’t be touching, that the touching should hurt.
But it’s good. Something that he doesn’t want to give up.
“Don’t stop, Cas.” Don’t stop talking. Don’t let me slip back.
“Come back to me, Dean. You are here. With me. You are with me now. I’ve got you. I’ve got you and I’m not leaving. We’re both going to stay right here.
“I love you, Dean. I love you more than you’ll ever know. More than I'll ever be able to show. I love holding you when you’re sad because it makes me feel so good to make you feel better. That holding you brings you peace and happiness.
“I love reading out loud to you because I know how much you like listening to my voice. How relaxed you become when you hear me speak because it means you know that you are safe. I feel so blessed to be able to comfort you.”
A hand runs through Dean’s hair. Musing through it. Messing it up before pressing it flat again.
“I love that your skin is warm. That I can feel your heat when you’re next to me. That it seeps into me and I feel like the barrier of our skins are gone. That we’ve meshed together.
“I love that you do so much for so many people and don’t expect a thing back from them. I love when you cry because it takes so much courage for you to show them. So much strength to lower your walls.
“I love that you that you love me. That you trust me with your life, as I trust you with mine. I love you, Dean.”
A sweet kiss presses into Dean’s hair.
“I love that you let me love you like this.”
Dean’s heart pulsed steadily.
“Can you kiss me?”
A thumb brushed over his cheek. Dean leaned into the warm touch. Already half-lidded eyes peered into his. So caring. So steady. So sure.
Listening to: The Water by HURTS
Wearing: All black, except my purple socks
Excited about: Team dance pictures!!! Took them yesterday. We did some weird poses and I'm all sore today. We also did one of those 'boy band' shots where you just stare seriously into the distance.
Nervous about: Final dance performance of the season in two days.
Procrastinating on: Volitant, because I can't get my fluff on due to this abrupt wave a latent angst.
Working on: Demesne and a new project entitled The Angel's Lighthouse, an 'angsty' tale that will probably end up super fluffy anyway. I tried to structure a sad ending but my little heart couldn't take it, so I fixed it. Still hits me in the feels though.
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