you have to get yourself out of bad places. you need to resist the temptation to let everything slip and become apathetic & cynical toward yourself and your life. you need to accept that it takes time to change and it’s ok to fall over as long as u get back up. every morning is a new start and things don’t have to be this way forever. you can heal and you can change.
Blade’s gray-skinned dharmakāya technically should not be able to speak or be interacted with, instead emanating pure thought in abstracts from higher planes of consciousness.
But because it’s Blade, he’d still temper him to be able to speak and act the way a regular person can. And he does just that.
Except, you had to learn this the hard way.
You’d watched his dharmakāya hover in the corner silently, and decided it would be a good idea to fool around and ‘bother’ this incorporeal form. He wasn’t even looking at you, vacant eyes staring straight ahead, so of course nothing you did would affect him, right?
So you’d amused yourself with doing the chicken, cracking corny jokes, and making cawing noises like you were doing an eccentric mating call. No reaction, of course. Not even a peep when you attempted to twerk in front of him.
“Wouldn’t it, like, be so funny if I flashed you right now?” You grinned cheekily, playing with the hem of your clothes—only to freeze when his eyes finally snapped to you, his gaze intimidatingly all-consuming and all-encompassing.
“I would not mind.” His voice carried a soft reverb, calm and eerie.
A stunned silence. Then, your face warmed in mortification at the realisation that he was aware of your antics the entire time.
when the kamo clan sent you out for the assassination of 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈, you were warned of a few things.
he was incredibly fast, impossibly strong and fought with an intensity that shook the jujutsu world. a hulking, predatory, yet oddly intelligent freak of a man.
but you didn't expect this.
“mm what're they feedin' ya back at that clan? probably not good dick like this, huh?”
that scarred lip pulled back in a grin. you could barely bite back as a filthy grind on your cervix melted away all your curses. the only talking spluttered from your dripping pussy.
“fuck— fushig— hngh!” your thighs are wedged further up the wall, knees pinned beside your tits as his thrusts turn into a feral hammer.
the bastard leans in, grin sharper, eyes darker. “the name's toji, baby, won't you say it for me?”
his cock snapped into your gummy walls as it trying to engrave it's behemoth of a shape within you. a token for you to take back. ‘I didn't take out fushiguro toji but i sure as hell took him.’
“c'mon dollface, sing for me.”
his large palms squeezed on the backs of your knees and his hips committed to a sweltering rhythm. knocking up until your quivering slit took him all the way and cried around his hilt. all while he ground up into that devastating spot. slowly, roughly, until you left a perfect ring of cream around him.
“t-toj— toji,”
he grinned at your voice crack and bent over you. hooking your leg over his muscles shoulder so his forearm could slam beside your head. “there you go. sing it for me.”
before his wet slaps assaulted your clenching cunt until all you could was pitifully sob and dig your nails down his back. arch into the man you're supposed to be gutting.
but here he is. rearranging in your guts and husking to your ear all smug.
“think you're better suited for this. think you'd make a better whore than assassin, yeah? pretty pussy sure says so.”
I FINALLY FINISHED WATCHING THE REST OF HELL’S PARADISE SEASON 2 IN FULL AND OMG IT WAS AMAZING
I don’t usually make written posts like this , very diff from fanart, but I’m so brainrotted about Gabimaru as a character and the show’s themes of love and balance that I felt like yelling my thoughts into the void (though i’m not great at putting my thoughts into words so bear with me—spoilers for hpj season 2 ahead ‼️)
What I find so heartwarming about this show mainly is how literally every single character loves or learns to love in some way, and that makes the cast feel so incredibly human and sympathetic. However, it also serves to pose season two’s final threats through the actions of Shugen. An asaemon whose love for each late clan member leads to a burning vengeance. I would say smth about Shija, however I only know so much about their backstory and presence in the story as I’m anime only at this point. (I’ll start reading the manga tmrw)
What I find interesting about Shugen’s is that his love is used as a direct foil for the main cast, namely Sagiri and Gabimaru. Sagiri learns the ‘middle way’ through out the show, or balance of her strengths and vulnerabilities. We see how Gabi learns from Sagiri to embrace his own vulnerabilities and emotions. Gabimaru is prevented from continuously killing to survive due to embracing his own vulnerabilities, and we see him make alliances throughout the show as a result of this balance. He no longer lets his love for his wife turn him into a cold blooded killer, and instead he listens to his vulnerabilities (namely his pain that prevents him from jumping to killing anyone who poses a challenge) and forms camaraderie as a direct result. I find this to be a really interesting contrast to Shugen, who again, lets his love for his clan control his actions and lead to the order to execute all the criminals on the island.
Love being a central part to most of these characters makes me rlly happy, it makes them feel so human and Yuji Kaku has amazed me with how many times he’s showcased that with his cast. Like you could edit any of these mfs with steven universe music it’d fit so well ˃̶͈◡˂̶͈
Since I’ve been typing for thirty minutes straight I’ll wrap it up here, but I’ll definitely yap ab Gabi more in depth if I feel up to it. He definitely competes with Denji as my fav mc from the dark trio and I wish I saw more people talk about him <\3
(Sidenote, sorry if this analysis seemed surface level at best i’m new to this and again, just wanted to yell what I noticed into the void even if it’s surface level lol)
- I wanted to write for my favorite character so here it is!
TW: Possible grammar mistakes, under shirt touching(waist, nothing nsfw this is a sfw blog.) Bathing, gore because it's chainsaw man. Blood. English isn't my first language!
Nights like these were horrible for you, mind pacing through every possible thought going from one thing to another like it's a race. And it's all because of that stupid dark haired girl not answering her damn phone. You kept checking your own to see if she called you back or answered any of your texts but there was nothing, just some notifications from random apps. You closed your eyes and layed on your right side placing the phone somewhere close to you. "Damn it." You whispered as you tapped the phone a lot in those 5 minutes of doing nothing but still checking.
You knew you loved this girl but waiting for her not knowing where she is or what is she doing at night while being a Soviet agent was killing you and your mind. You finally sat up and got up from the bed strolling to the kitchen so you could get some water to clear your head, also to hydrate since your throat was getting sore and dry from quiet but "ugly" sobbing, whenever Reze would see you cry she would protest that your cries are not ugly, they're beautiful to her because even with tears in your eyes you're still the most beautiful girl to her. You chuckled to yourself as one more tear fell from your cheek. It was another night that you didnt get any answer back.
Finally being by the counter you took a cup from the cabinet, grabbing a bottle of water you poured it into the cup. Living alone was a plus, you didn't have to hide from the prying eyes of your parents or argue with them about bringing your girlfriend to your house at God knows what hour. You sniffled and gulped down the water before placing it on top of the counter. You took a deep breath together with moving the cup to the sink, turning on the water and cleaning it. Putting the cup away you capped bottle of water that you poured from and placed it aside.
You were just about to walk back to your room before suddenly you heard a notification from your phone, hoping that it's Reze you ran to your room faster. Jumping on the bed you grabbed your phone and unlocked it. "Fuck." You muttered after groaning. It wasn't her, it was just your friend asking if you wanna meet up, no you don't wanna meet up. You didn't even bother to answer so you simply threw the device somewhere on bed. Sighing once again tonight you sat up with your legs crossed then just breathed in and out trying to calm your heart down from your high hopes.
It was horrible, you were so attached to her, you wished you weren't because you knew Reze isn't the same as you, she doesn't get attached, you were always scared that you're just a toy to her but honestly? Even if you were, it was worth spending all this time with her, you didn't have anybody else except your family and one friend in this cursed city. So what if you were used? You believed it was real and still do so you don't care if it really was fake. You were just about to close your eyes and try to fall asleep but then a loud thud was heard from the other side of your door. You jumped, scared and terrified. Getting out bed for who knows which time you were carefully listening for any other suspicious sounds...but there was nothing, except for a soft knock on your door.
You recognized it. It was her. Yet something seemed different. The knocking was weak, almost as if she was injured. You hesitated to walk up to the door and open it for the first time in your life ever since you and Reze started dating. Why did you hesitate? Were you scared she was hurt? Most likely yes. Then you heard it.
"Oi! Y/N please open the doooor!" A playful voice echoed in the corridors of your apartment. Still it had a this ring to it that sounded like a painful aching in her voice.
You grimaced but walked fastly to the door. What if she's hurt? You thought, what if you just sat there for good 2 minutes pondering if you should open the door instead of rushing to help her. You unlocked it and opened it to see her...standing there, blood covering her white shirt and neck. Your breath hitched, couldn't even choke out any words. The girl just stumbled inside the house and held your arm to steady herself. You closed the door, locked it and swallowed before touching her waist carefully. "R-Reze?" You stuttered as your jaw trembled a little. She just smiled exhausted and breathed out a quiet: "Hi baby." She grinned through pain and wrapped her hand around your arm. "I'm gonna heal remember? Its just a few scratches and..a missing hand. But I'm gonna heal!" She chuckled characteristicly.
Missing..hand? "...What?" You whispered and your eyes wandered to her left hand. "Oh my god!" You yelped as your body trembled.
"Easy, easy baby. I'm gonna heal okay? I'm a hybrid after all." She touched your face with her right hand.
You nodded as your mouth went try once again. You shook your head as you blurted out rushed: "Let's get you cleaned up." You were curious and afraid of what did she go through but right now you only cared for taking care of her. Grabbing Reze's right hand you guided her to your bathroom, when she sat on a stool next to the bath you went to your bedroom to get her some clean clothes. Reze was often at your place, so she left a lot of her clothes in your room, she basically lived with you. Soon you came back and gave her the clothes before helping her get out of her dirty ones, it took a while to wash herself since she only had one hand but you helped her clean up and dress up. She truly appreciated your help and that would soon be known by how she planned to thank you.
You two went out of the bathroom after you threw the dirty clothes into a washing machine although you doubted it would get fully clean. Prowling into your room she layed on your bed and laughed. "You should've seen the look on your face." Reze grinned.
"Come here." She patted her stomach. You obediently crawled onto the bed as you rested your head on her stomach.
"You're probably curious what happened?"
"Yeah..."
"And you remember that if I tell you and you hide the fact that I have done a crime you would be sentenced for helping me?"
You stayed silent and nodded slowly. Usually you never ask what happened but tonight was the worst night you ever had. You needed to know.
As she explained her...interesting mission you would say. Your face was turning more and more into horror, she...kissed someone else...? You should've been worried about the fact that the boy lost his tongue but you truly didn't care, your fear of being a toy to her was rising to the surface. You sighed and just buried your face in her shirt.
"You know it was just for a mission, right?"
She exclaimed and dragged her fingers in your hair. "I would never kiss somebody else for nothing except mission when I have you."
That calmed you down a bit. Although you still voiced your worries. "I...are you sure?"
"Are you doubting me? You know that I'm a professional." Reze stated.
"I know...I know but you're aware of how doubtful I am of myself, you're my first girlfriend in a long time and I really don't want to find out that you've been using me."
Silence.
You didn't even want to look up to see the look on her face. Was she about toy ell you that it was all fake? No, you firmly believed that it was all real. You gulped therefore clenched your eyes as you felt her moving away and sitting up. You got up as well. Opening your eyes and looking everywhere but at Reze.
"Hey. Look at me." She demanded before cupping your face with her right palm whem you didnt want to look. She forced you to glance at her. You examined her face. A serious but relaxed face, that's how she seemed.
"No matter what, you'll always be the one to me. The one I come back to at night. The one I kiss, the one I hug, the one I spent my best days with. The one-"
You didn't even noticed when her hand started regrowing but you felt a touch under your shirt and soft fingers brushing your waist.
"The one I love." She whispered and smiled while blushing, this time genuienly unlike with everyone she fooled.
"I..."
You sniffled and brushed the tears away that formed in your eyes. "I love you too Reze."
"Good. Because no matter where I am, I always think of you." She brought you closer and kissed your lips, you kissed her back as you slowly moved your head snd tilted it to your right. Quiet sounds of lips smacking sounded in your house.
It was worth the wait, the unread messages, missed calls and your cries. Because in the end, she'll always come back to you.
nsfw | phainon x fem!reader
note: thanks to gymtok trends, it's my endless source of inspiration for phainon
“i just got my nails done,” you said happily when you saw that phainon had come home from a training session. his shirt was damp, and a thin sheen of sweat made his muscles look especially delicious.
“here,” with only one word, phainon just turned his back to you, pulling his shirt over his head.
his strong, broad back with bulging muscles momentarily made you think about what it is to dig your nails into his back. and phainon knew too well what you think—he dared you to turn those thoughts into reality. and you're not the kind of person who needs to be asked twice.
your hands were on his back, scratching slightly, urging him to turn to you so you could kiss him. the next minute, your lips were on his, wasting no time before you were shoving your tongue down his throat. your hands went to his head to guide phainon closer to you, nails running through his hair. your touch made him groan in your mouth. his hands on your waist, squeezing you.
phainon’s lips tease yours with soft brushes before switching to a firmer touch, his tongue dancing with yours, licking your mouth feverishly and deep. the temperature quickly rose by a few degrees while you were standing in the hallway and making out.
then pahinon pressed you against the wall, hooking your legs around his waist. your nails dug into his beefy shoulders to find purchase as heat pooled low in your tummy. this position made you press against the bulge in his pants, huge and scorching hot even through fabric. the feeling made you part from his lips and moan as you experimentally ground your hips against his. the friction at your core was delicious; you greedily sped up your pace. and with every move, your nails dug in deeper, leaving crescent moon dents on his skin.
“this design is beautiful,” phainon said, panting heavily from the kiss, his breath hot against your lips, looking at his shoulder where your hand was. “you really went with my suggestion of yellow and purple and made it look so pretty.”
once again you kissed, all tongue and teeth. one of phainon’s hands went under your skirt to your panties to show them to the side. he was strong enough to hold you effortlessly with just one hand. his fingers touched your lust-wetted slit, finding your clit, playing with a sensitive bundle of nerves. he knew very well which pressure to apply, which touches made you unravel. your breathing turned erratic, and your moans echoed through the hallway when he pushed two of his fingers inside your pussy, eagerly exploring your velvet walls.
you wanted even more—wanted to feel him inside, so one of your hands reached and pulled down his sweats enough to free his hard cock. his mushroom tip was already flushed with the prettiest shade of pink, leaking precum; prominent veins on his thick shaft were painfully throbbing, demanding your attention.
“and how do my nails look on your cock?” you asked, wrapping your fingers around his cock, slightly scratching his sensitive skin with your long nails. his loud half-moan, half-whimper was your answer. phainon’s eyes shut tight when he tried to regain his composure. your thumb brushed against his tip as you began working him up and down.
phainon breathed out your name, nose pressing into the crook of your neck as he pulled away your hand from his cock. how much he enjoyed your hands on his cock—right now he wanted your hands on his back and his dick inside your pussy. so you once again put your hands on his shoulders, leaving reddish scratch marks on his pale skin, as he lined himself up and sheathed himself to the hilt inside your wet warmth.
this was your favorite part about getting your nails done.
hello! may i have one where reader brings home those cat cakes for hsr men/could you write their reactions? thank you!
ʚ♡ɞฺ main m.list ྀིᨯ — cw. fluff, established relationship
blade thinks its stupid. why would you want another companion when you already have him? he shrugs it off before he realizes how much of your attention is occupied by said cake.
one day you just find that he and your new buddy are having a staring contest before you set dinner down on the table. just two silent beings watching to see who's more strong.
"...are you two done yet, can we eat?" - "it has earned my respect. you may keep it."
mydei is very... very wary of the animal dessert thing. tries to intimidate it but it only gets the cat cake to like him more.
"my love, you better get this thing off of me." - "'dei... he just wants to spend time with you! he's harmless!"
he squints his eyes at the thing, and in response the small thing meows happily. you can tell he gives in by day seven when he's just lightly petting it on the head with reluctance. "i thought y-" - "shut it." it's a funny scene to see mydeimos defeated by a simple cat cake that sits upon the throne called his chest.
anaxa thinks they're ridiculous. "hah! you really think this cake deserves to live with u-" when he feels the sharp glance on his back. "that is our son, you can't be mean to him!" - "...okay."
as much as you think he might hate the little guy, he actually gets all into teaching kitty cake everything about algebra and anatomy at the same time. figures out kitty cake speaks an actual language too.
"meow!" - "very well said, son. i'm very proud." when you check back in from the kitchen, serving them new desserts you just learned how to make; "seems like you two are enjoying yourselves." - "mm. our son has learned logic."
caelus has interacted with them before, but questions how you ended up finding one and taking it home. doesn't really mind it though, just let it do what it wants, feeds it, give it water... if that's what they need.
"babe? are... oh." you walk into the the room, placing your coat on the rack nearby. taking a seat beside your boyfriend, you lean your head against his shoulder. "hey." he rings an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.
"do you wanna name her?" tossing a piece of popcorn into is mouth, he leans his head on yours too. "we could do... like, kiwi?" - "perfect."
kiwi just continue to hop around in a circle.
sunday thinks its adorable, immediately scoops it up and sits all three of you down as if to formally welcome him into the family. for a man who would usually be neutral about most matters that didn't concern your wellbeing...
"must we name the little darling?" petting the soft fluff on his head, he places a kiss on your cheek before settling down beside you on the sofa. "only if you wanna, ruan mei gave her to me as a gift." you only fell pleased seeing how well they got along <3
your favorite thing to see was how the adorable little cat dessert would be seated beside the stove while he cooked you breakfast.
ashveil is a very welcoming father, honestly has just accepted the fact that he is a father to one now, feeds the cake whatever his diet is too. you find them just relaxing on the couch together, number one dad over here...
"hey! baby, look. i got him a little suit, matches mine. you like it?" he has the little guy in his arms when he's already got him draped in a coat.
they really bond over small talk. talks to the cat cake like its an actual kid, as if it were your kid before he got with you.
Summary : Going Grocery shopping with your loving boyfriend. Absolutely nothing wrong is going to happen!
Every Sunday you went grocery shopping.
Not because you liked pushing the cart endlessly, or frown at a list that no longer made sense.
But because Phainon accompanied you.
Somewhere between long conversations, warm nights and shared glances... You and him had found comfort in each other.
He became your home.
Literally.
You moved to his house not long after you started dating.
And so, every Sunday both of you together walked into the same grocery store like a ritual.
The place was filled with meaningless noise, a voice of a child crying, a mother yawning. The sound of tired feet, of confused muttering.
And among the noise, you walked with a smile, glancing at the items like a child looking for a shiny toy. And right behind you, Phainon pushed the cart.
Always behind. Never in front.
He loved looking at you like this. Watching how happy you looked in such a mundane setting.
"This cereal has a penguin on it!" you picked out a random box, waving it towards his direction with a serious look. "Let's get it"
"We do not need cereal just because it has a penguin on it." he muttered, resting his hand lazily on the cart handle.
"But just looooook at him," you whined playfully, bringing the box close to your cheek. "We have to save it from this grocery store."
"Sure." He laughed quietly under his breath and kept pushing the cart.
You rolled your eyes but followed him.
"You reall-OH MY GOD!" suddenly you gasped.
Phainon already knew that tone.
He watched her hurry toward a refrigerator shelf where two miniature plushies dangled from giant bottles of milk.
Tiny cows.
Round and stupid-looking.
"AREN'T THEY SOOOO CUTE?!" you yelled like you had discovered some ancient treasure.
"We already have milk at home, darling."
"But these come with emotional support cows."
"We absolutely do not need emotional support cows." The boy couldn't help but laugh lightly at your childishness.
You grabbed two bottles anyway and dropped them dramatically into the cart. "You don't. I do!"
The cart groaned under the weight.
He stared at you.
You stared back.
Then, with the patience of a man deeply and irreversibly in love, he took one of the milk bottles back out.
"There’s no need to buy enough milk for a family of six," he said. "We can just come back next week when ours runs out."
You gasped, putting a hand to your heart. "The betrayal?!" you turned, now moving your hand to your head, sighing like some sorrowful princess in a romance tragedy movie. "You dare separate me from my children evil monster!?"
Phainon simply pushed the cart forward.
You paused mid act.
Before groaning and following him yet again. ".... Asshole." you muttered loudly enough to let him know.
He was used to your dramatics by now. Knowing you only performed to see him laugh.
And laugh he did.
When you tossed random snacks aggressively and huffed, he bit back a warm laugh.
Whatever you did, he was absolutely smitten. A surge of affection seemed to drown his heart whenever he saw you.
"These chips stay." you glared at him.
Phainon didn't argue. "Of course they do."
"And these cookies."
"Obviously."
"And this juice."
He raised a brow. "You hate that juice."
"I’m buying it out of spite now." you turned dramatically and walked to another shelf.
He laughed again.
The sound hit your ears, soft and fond and helpless.
You kept stopping to look at random things while Phainon slipped practical items into the cart behind you. Rice. Soap. Laundry detergent.
A strangely perfect balance.
Amidst all the chaos you brought, he made sure to hold you upright.
Then you froze again.
Another gasp.
This one even louder.
"Oh my GOD!"
He turned just in time to see you holding up a brightly colored candy packet.
"I used to love these back in highschool, " you wiped a small imaginary tear. "Full of sugar and artificial coloring. My favorite."
He took the packet from your hands, noticing the kiddish cartoon of a bear holding up a thumbs up. "I've never had it."
"WHAT?!!!" you shrieked as you immediately took the packet and flung it into the basket.
"You have to try it! It's sooo good. The plastic flavor just like.... Melts in your mouth and its-"
He watched you continue rambling about childhood snacks and old convenience stores and trading candies with classmates, your hands moving animatedly as you spoke.
He felt that rush again.
That unbearable tenderness.
The kind that made his chest ache.
The kind that made him want to stay by your side forever.
You were still talking when he stepped closer.
Still mid-sentence when he tilted your chin up.
Still blinking in confusion when he kissed your lips gently.
Quick and fleeting. You almost missed it.
When he pulled away, you stared at him in shock.
He smiled sweetly and pushed the cart past you.
"You were saying?" he asked casually.
You stood frozen for two whole seconds before glaring furiously.
"You can’t just do that in public!"
"You seemed loud enough to survive it."
"Unbelievable. My boyfriend is a menace."
At the cashier, you talked the entire time while the cashier scanned their groceries.
About a movie you wanted to watch.
About a stray cat you'd seen outside your apartment.
About how you still thought he was evil for denying you of your cow plushies.
Phainon answered occasionally.
Mostly, he listened.
Because with everyone else, he enjoyed speaking.
But with you... he could spend entire lifetimes just hearing your voice.
The next Sunday you went grocery shopping alone.
The automatic doors opened with the same mechanical chime.
The same yellow lights glowed overhead.
The same carts squeaked across polished floors.
People laughed somewhere nearby.
Children argued near the candy aisle.
Someone dropped a bottle in the distance.
The world had not changed at all.
You pushed the cart yourself this time.
No one followed behind you. No one laughed softly at the things you said.
The grocery store no longer felt warm.
Now it was only noise.
The dull hum of refrigerators. The static buzz of fluorescent lights. Voices blending together until none of them meant anything.
You looked at your list.
Bread.
Rice.
Soap.
Essentials.
Nothing extra.
Nothing fun.
You reached automatically for the smaller carton of milk. Not the giant one with the plushie attached.
That one had always been ridiculous anyway.
Too much milk for one person.
As you placed the smaller carton into the cart, a familiar voice whispered into your ear.
"Don't you want that ridiculous plushie?"
You froze.
Don't look.
It's just your imagination.
No wa-
You turned.
There was no one there.
No one staring at you like you were the only thing in their vision.
Your fingers tightened around the cart handle.
Right.
Of course.
Phainon died three days ago.
A car accident.
Quick, they had said.
As if that helped.
As if quick meant anything when someone’s existence had been sewn into every ordinary part of your life.
You looked down at the milk carton quietly. Then continued walking.
Every Sunday after that, you came back alone and only brought what you needed.
Never the oversized milk bottles.
Never the plushies.
At home, the tiny cow plushie from months ago still sat on the kitchen counter.
Alone.
Just like you.
Fin
I CANT NOT WRITE ANGST AHHHHHH. MY INNER DEMONS TAKE CONROL LMAO.
I love Phainon sm I just had to write another one.
♡ some days will feel heavy and hard to carry. that doesn’t mean you are failing, it simply means you’re human. it’s okay to feel those things and move through them. sending love, always ♡
I’m not falling for the propaganda trying to tear apart the LGBTQ acronym, you can pry this community out of my cold dead hands. I love lesbians I love gay men I love bisexuals I love trans people I love nonbinaries and drag queens and kings I love asexuals I love the kinky people at pride I love all queerness get that divisive shit away from me I’m so serious