Deadpool with the Good Hair

Wanda Wilson (Lady Deadpool) Affiliated with Citta-Alveare -- Lives in Apt. M-3 Retained Regeneration at 1.3 efficiency Uses a BB Gun

[batbombed-blog]

@ladyofthe4thwall

“Well, I’ve gotta’ admit I’m really digging the costume.”

The red head settled her gaze onto the scene, a park in the middle of night - once lively with the wrong kind of ruckus, now dead silent apart from her own voice and a few groans from such crooks that totally deserved it.

           “I’ve always been a fan of the red and black combo myself. - Even though some consider the combo ‘suspicious’ you’ve really proved those fashion morons wrong tonight.”

    “So are you the hero type yourself, or are you doing this for the fun of it?”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

“Money. Cable doesn’t pay itself, you know. Or at least it didn’t until now.”

Then again, she was never really one to keep up on payments. A quick word of advice, readers: Don’t threaten to hang your landlord by their intestines as a means to pay rent...Unless you happen to be a certain, near-indestructible, psychotic blonde who cares about her well-being as much as Donald Trump cares about being offensive. 

Wanda sadly had to admit, this woman was quite attractive. The red and black costume (the best color combination to have ever). Her smooth skin, which appeared to be barren of any noticeable blemishes. That flaming hair with its-- 

--Okay moving on, this is getting a little depressing.

“But it’s nice to see some people with a decent taste in fashion. I’ve had too many insult the suit, and the only reason they’re still breathing is I have nothing to kill them with. Yet.”

[magnetikid]

          great, more weirdos covered from head to toe in spandex. it seemed the main color going on with those spandex-wearing bastards was red. red was a popular color though. 

     "Hero?“           the word left his lips, sounding foreign to him yet he chuckled. it was such a funny concept, being a hero– playing hero. those who played or wanted to be a hero were naive as hell. it was nearly impossible to save everyone. and those who needed saving probably had it coming. it was a dog eat dog world. one had to survive and fend for themselves, unless one managed to gain comrades that can be trusted with his life. luckily, he managed to have that. 

          still, being a hero was funny as hell to him– he chuckled again.      "Can’t say I’m surprised that there are people claiming to be heroes running around here.”           her last statement though, he couldn’t help but agree.      "Those damn slimy bastards are behind this whole mess. They think our lives are something they can toy with. I have no idea how they managed to limit the hell out of my powers but as soon as I get them back– I’m killing the lot of them.“ 

          oh how he counted the days.

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

“Another me went crazy and started killing the Deadpools from every comic universe. And I wanted to live, obviously.”

<Except you totally didn’t. Instead you blew up with the Bea Arthur.>

“Shut up. I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

Wanda merely shrugged at his mockery. In all honesty, she didn’t hold the idea of heroism in high regards. Too much work and effort to put in, but with a shittier pay. Plus, she would much rather binge watch cooking shows all day with her favorite snacks than talk to people.

Her usual scowling face brightened at the mention of murder. Amazing how many people share similar interests. Who knows, she might even be able to make a few friends--If they can manage to tolerate her grating personality.

<Oh, I like him.>

“I hope you’re planning on inviting me to your murderfest, handsome. Someone’s got to give them a spanking. Not in the sexual way though--That’s reserved for the nice ones.”

[mxgpoid-blog]

“You, you-!!! You can’t just walk around with that S&M type of clothes, weird people will flock to you!!! It’s dangerous to wear leather!!” Her shrieks can be heard from down the road, and despite not knowing exactly what it means, she’s eavesdropped on enough conversations to get the general idea.

{ @ladyofthe4thwall }

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

“S&M?”

<S&M? Is she talking to us?>

“I think so. She’s staring right at me. And screaming, for some reason.”

Wanda casually strolled towards the other, eyeing her rather curiously. There have been comments thrown her way over her outfit, but never one so...risque. And the fact that it poured from the mouth of a young girl? Even more interesting. Her parents must have been pretty lax with censorship.

“What’s this about S&M? Or a better question, how do YOU know about that?” she stood before the girl, cocking her head to the side. 

[draconidol]

@ladyofthe4thwall

♦♦♦ – “The only assumption I can make from a woman wearing a body suit is that she has something to hide. Not that anything on a woman’s body could surprise me.” She’d certainly tortured enough of them back in the day.

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

<Right, and you look like something straight out of a fantasy video game.>

[Did she just make fun of our outfit?]

<Yup. I say we dump her body somewhere and use those horns as an accessory.>

“Yeah, no that won’t work. Killing someone with your bare hands is harder than you think, and not as fun,” she crossed her arms and shifted her weight, “Well when you look like someone spilled hot oil all over you and then ran your body through a giant cheese grater, the costume helps. That way everyone won’t go screaming after looking at my face, and I don’t end up having my feelings hurt.”

[conxume-blog]

@ladyofthe4thwall

Besides the traditional pet peeve of people staring at him, baal hated the spandex wearing super heros or villains. A entire suit to cover the whole body was not even needed was it? 

“I can tell you are a women, but doesn’t it get a bit ridiculous wearing that body suit all the time? Can’t imagine it must not feel stuffy.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

“Actually you get used it to. More flexibility, and with more pockets than you know what to do with. Plus,” she hooked an index finger underneath the mask, pulling upwards to reveal rotting flesh, “Do you really want to see what’s underneath?”

[doorknobwielder]

Love you too, alternate brother-whos-pretty-much-me-if-he-was-born-with-boobs ❤

“Don’t forget the extra baggage down below.”

“…Unless you’re packin’ that too.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

“Depends. Want to check?”

[doorknobwielder]

“I’d argue that there aren’t many people that could handle us. In or out of a fight. Then again, I think people are building a tolerance if I’ve been in the Avengers for as long as I have.”

His hands rested upon his hips and he glanced up at the sky for a moment. He was still pretty sure it was a false sky or something. He hadn’t heard of anyone trying to fly up and out or anything, at least. There were plenty of people here who were capable of some kind of space travel. He’d have to ask Tony about that. His eyes shifted back down to her and he tilted his head a bit.

“Yeah, I bet. That happens to me just when I take a nap. Which I end up doing a lot here. This place is so boring most of the time. I don’t even know why there is an Avengers group. I mean, we had a pretty big threat a while back but we took care of it, I guess. You’re gonna have plenty’a time to catch up here. You can even move into my place if ya really want. There’s internet and a computer and all that jazz.”

He brought a hand up to clap it lightly against her bicep and grinned behind the mask. “Plus, there’s no dyin’ here. Fools that get killed come back the next day or somethin’. Not that I’d know anything about that.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

Wait a minute. He was offering free internet with a computer to use for all her inner desires, and mostly likely cable T.V was included in the package. Such sweet words, she would have thrown herself at him with a kiss. Except not really. There was that one time when they first met, but that was an awkward moment she would happily never repeat.  

“So many tele-novelas to go through, I don’t know where to start. There’s something about Spanish soaps that’s just so...dramatic and romantic,” Wanda sighed dreamily at the endless possibilities, eventually coming to her senses and straightening to full height, “Okay then, expect my stuff at your place then. And by that, I mean just me and this suit.” 

“Going back to that other thing you said,” she crossed her arms, unsure of which expression to use as her predicament clearly became more bizarre, “We get an apartment, with free internet and stuff, and we can’t die? What’s the catch? Cause the last thing I was offered was a Shepard's pie. And it wasn’t even that good.”

<But if the Avenger’s are here, then so is Captain America. With those bulging muscles ready to tear through his-->

“Oooh, he was a lot of fun. I still haven’t given up on Wanda Wilson-America.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

doorknobwielder:

“Of course I survived. I’m me.”

His gaze lingered on the woman for a moment, weight shifting from one foot to the other. They’d had some rough moments but they’d become pretty good allies, overall. Then again, it was hard to say if he’d actually get along with someone who was basically the same as himself.

At her question he just burst out laughing, however.

“Hah! Yeah, you ain’t findin’ ‘em, trust me. Pretty sure they locked themselves inside a pocket dimension inside this pocket dimension. I’ve been here since Thanksgiving last year. I’ve got most of my goodies back but for the most part, I’m still a little weak. Healing Factor still isn’t up to snuff but I’ve got my swords and guns. Lots of people have tried t’find ‘em but nah. It ain’t happenin’, sis.”

“Good thing I’m here, then. I doubt they can handle two of us.” 

Despite the words of bravado, she wasn’t as confident in her statement. If even he couldn’t manage something, the odds weren’t looking so well. Then again, the lab coats underestimated her capabilities if all they did was confiscate her weapons--There was bound to be shops or dealers around with a pretty sweet stash for all her murderous needs. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here though, at least not until Spidey #2 said so. It almost gives me a tingly feeling to be the brave heroine selflessly sacrificing herself,” her eyes immediately narrowed, “Don’t think I’ll do that ever again. Do you know how many shows I missed? I mean I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it’s a lot.”

Here’s hoping only filler episodes were broadcasted. Her heart couldn’t take the stress if he ended up with the bitchy mistress.

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

@candykraken

She had thought Deadpool’s warning to be exaggerations. Sure, she was still a bit salty over the loss of her arsenal, but there was always a bigger, shinier, and more explosive weapon out there. Yet it left her rather surprised to find the decrease in her regeneration efficiency. Almost a third of the day had passed, and barely half of her right arm managed to fuse back with her shoulder. It would have been a comical sight watching the limb swing at her side, the stretch of flesh holding it in place threatening to tear. However instead she daydreamed of revenge and death.  

“I’m going to kill them. I don’t care if they’re in a pocket dimension, I’ll shove my blade down their fucking throats.”

[How about we focus on fixing our arm? It looks like it’s going to fall out again.]

"Fine. We fix out arm, and then we go on on a fun adventure where I kill every person wearing a lab coat,” she whipped around to draw attention from someone when her arm swung around and accidentally slapped a passerby in the head, “Oh hey, do you know where’s the nearest hospital? Or a store that sews stuff? Or if you know how to use a needle, that would be great.” 

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

@jyuzotheprocessor

“Well now, you’re something interesting. I’ll bet that makes killing a helluva lot easier. There’s always the struggle in finding that perfect gun. And bullets are NOT cheap.”

Although it was definitely a peculiar moment in meeting an individual with a gun barrel for a face. And she had many questions. Does his face actually fire bullets? How does it work when he wants to talk to people? Is he a robot or just a weird looking human? And how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?! The world may never know.

“So how does that work, exactly? You just look at someone and shoot? ‘Cause that would be pretty cool.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

ultimatespin:

   “S… Sure.” Better thread carefully here, Miles. “Uh, I’m pretty sure I saw Spidey grumble about him once or twice, even though I’m not exactly too into the ‘killing someone’ idea.”

“Oh so there’s more of you?” she leaned over to better study him, “Now that you mention it, you are shorter than he is. I always wondered what it would be like meeting a counterpart that isn’t insane. It’s hard to talk to another you when they’re just as crazy as you are.”

A muffled groan could be heard after the other voiced his opinion on murder, “Oh god, you’re also a goody-two-shoes. Sorry kid, but it’s what I do for a living. Some people just have to die.” 

[ultimatespin-blog1]

      “Uh… Thanks? I guess?”

     “And what good point? I’m pretty sure I didn’t really say anything.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

“Not you,” she pointed an index finger to her temple, “The girls are getting a little chatty. They’re like the sidekicks I never wanted.”

<Aw that’s cute. He thought you were talking to him.>

[Of course he would think that. We are just figments of her imagination, after all.]

<Whatever. Tell him I said hi!>

“They said hi. But changing the subject...Have you seen Deadpool around? There are a few plans I’d like to go over. Possibly might involve killing someone.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

@doorknobwielder

“Looks like you survived.”

Wanda barely expressed an ounce of surprise upon meeting her counterpart. As insane as he may be, she was confident that he would be victorious in ending World War Deadpool--After all, she would be highly displeased if her sacrifice went to waste. However there were more pressing matters, much more important to her than a mere reunion.

“You know, I want to thank these so-called scientists for reviving me, and have a quick talk about the stuff they stole from me. And by talk, I mean strangle them with their own spines.”

[How exactly is that going to help us if they’re dead?]

<We could just bomb the whole place, and grab everything pointy and explosive!>

“Alright, ladies. Quiet time now, “ Having stared into the distance to converse with the inner voices, she returned to meet his gaze, “So, any ideas where I can find them?”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

@mechanicalfist

“The red’s a nice touch. Not as flattering on you as it is on me, but you’re not bad for a runner-up. So what’s the news with this place? One minute, I’m the sexy hero saving everyone’s lives. Then the next, I wake up without my weapons and a new apartment. Not that I’m complaining.”

The fabric of the mask suddenly shifted, revealing the outline of a frown, “Wait no, that was a lie. I’m pretty pissed about the weapon part.”

[ladyofthe4thwall-blog]

@ultimatespin

“Nice change of costume, Spidey. Definitely looks better than the boring red and blue. You know how many dress up like the United States flag? Too many.”

<Except it did look pretty good on Captain America.>

“Good point.”

[redcell6]

[astonishingx]

Lady Deadpool by Mahmud Asrar