Something about DEPENDENCY is that it doesnât always appear in the most obvious ways. It takes itâs form in a petite blonde with a knife in the SHAPE of her mouth, in the way toxins from a POPPY SEED flow through his veins making him leave his life behind for JUST a blissful moment, in the way the smoke billows from the end of his cigarette, filling his lungs with ASH while concurrently giving him a sense of PEACE. Thereâs a long list of things that heâs CRAVED, unfortunately it generally included things that were HAZARDOUS to his well being â SHELBY WYATT being at the top of said list. Thereâs a reason heâs never opened up again after his time spent in that CULT â itâs the same reason he didnât feel a substantial amount of PEACE until he had went undercover to dissemble the very thing that nearly DESTROYED him. He had just been a KID â looking in all the wrong places for acceptance that his father never gave, he had been so DESPERATE to feel normal, he opened himself up to a manipulation that tore him int pieces, Caleb no longer TRUSTED the simplicity of being LOVED. Itâs why his first instinct was to SABOTAGE anything that had the potential of ruining him. Except with her â it wasnât intentional, && in the end, as much blame as she had put on him, he wasnât the one that CLOSED that door.    && he wasnât the one who kept TRYING to open it, allowing the skeletons of their story to crumble to the floor in front of them. He came here because she NEEDED his help, this charade, it wasnât SUBSTANTIAL, it wasnât meant to function properly. How could it ? You ever hear the one about the ADDICT who was able to take one hit && walk away ? Neither had he, && he knew it wasnât going to curb the HUNGER. See, he wasnât the only one familiar with USING â she had her own method of it, she was an addict of her own kind, addicted to the SORROW that swallowed her, addicted to the JOB that she had so desperately needed to feel whole, she may not share the SCARS that tarnish his veins, but herâs were there, buried underneath the ARMOR she cast in the kiln of her PAST. Heâs AWARE of her presence before she speaks, as if thereâs an alarm that goes off in his mind any time sheâs near, WARNING him to prepare himself, to throw those walls up against her BATTERING ram she claims to know nothing about. Itâs a COMFORTABLE silence at first, the air carrying the smoke he exhaled while he WAITED for her to form her words, he knew that look on her face, the way a weight was pressing down on her squared shoulders, she wanted to ADMIT something, && he was going to let it hit him like a TIDE threatening to pull him out to the bleak oblivion. Normally heâd throw out a quip into the space, a LIFE LINE for her to grasp onto, but when had she ever really NEEDED saving anyway ?   FOR SO LONG, IâVE BEEN TRYING TO REALIZED WHY I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU. BECAUSE I DO. CALEB, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. BUT I KNOW THAT YOUâLL HURT ME. AGAIN && AGAIN. Itâs a memory that had haunted him from the moment he watched the words fall from her lips, each syllable sending a SHARP ache through his system, so he WAITS, he waits for the BUT, this time â he waits for the inevitable CRASH of the wave against the rocky shore, splitting into nothingness BEFORE returning to Poseidon. The former analyst loses track of the seconds that span into quietness of her confession, his lips parted as the SHOCK begins flooding his bloodstream. He couldnât HEAR over the static in his ears, the REVELATION pulling him from a place of SAFTEY right into oncoming traffic. â SHELBY âââ â The soft mutter of her name carried off with the wind, he should LEAVE, he should SLAM this door shut && bolt it before she realizes what sheâs DONE, what monster sheâs allowed to creep from itâs hiding place, but he finds that for once in his life, he doesnât have any WORDS to say && he canât FORCE his feet to move him in the right direction. INSTEAD he finds himself moving toward her, plugging himself back into her CIRCUT, not giving a damn about every THREAT of being shorted out.   THIN digits frame her face before he pulls her into him, while his free hand expands the small of her back, chapped lips DUSTING against hers rose tinted ones, he had almost forgotten what HOME tasted like. He had NEARLY forgotten how easy it was to get lost in her, how truly COMPELLING her mere presence was. So here it is, hereâs where he REALIZES where his true addiction started, hereâs where REALITY makes itâs mark â that anger that sat in his gut, bubbling over the surface at the sight of her was nothing more than BURIED disappointment â for letting her WALK away, for HIDING from the one thing that could have SAVED this, for words he hid within letters at no time meant to come from HIS heart. The cool skin of his nose barely brushes against hers, a smile curling his lips in a free way that it hadnât in YEARS â this is what true NIRVANA felt like, this is the notion he had tricked himself into believing HEROIN could fill, an ecstasy that wasnât SHORT LIVED, a breath of air pushes through his nostrils as he MARVELS at the moment, of hearing the confirmation of her love without worrying when the other shoe would DROP. â I never really KNEW what love was until I met YOU â â She had saved him from parts of himself he hadnât even known he was running from, she made him WANT to be better, to be something his father thought he wasnât capable of. â Shelby â I LOVE YOU, I always have. â
