thinking out loud

lana chanel morrison ; please don't say you love me

[tearslikejules-blog]

Coffee Shop Refuge || Lana + Jules

lanactrl

A snow storm raged outside of the coffee shop. After class, Julius wanted a warm beverage to take home, and before he knew it a storm raged outside of the store. It would have been ridiculous to even try to face the storm, so he had to stay within the coffee shop walls. All other students had been bright enough to head home, so the store was mostly empty, just the sound of workers. The defy boredom, he read the school newspaper, noticing the name, Lana Morrison.  The head of the school newspaper, and another famous starlet student. She was a year younger than him, so he hardly ever saw her. On that note, he looked up, and noticed sitting three tables away him was the actual Lana Morrison.  Speak of the devil he thought to himself. He’d never heard much about her, but she was a looker. "Is your dorm far too?" Jules wasn’t usually the guy to strike up conversation, but they were only two sitting within this store. Getting to know her might help him find connections to famous kids who want to get tattoos, his ultimate goal. There wasn’t much left to lose. 

[lanactrl-blog]

Lana had made the decision to skip her classes today. She was fed up with everyone the moment she woke up this morning and knew she need a cup of coffee and some serious time to herself. There were some articles she needed to finish for the paper anyway and she figured that she could get some kind of inspiration from the coffee shop. 

She'd been in the shop all day. She'd gone through two bear claw pastries and was on her third when she heard the door open, another student letting in a gust of cold air as they entered. She didn't even bother looking up from her notebook and coffee. Whoever it was probably wasn't worth her time anyway. 

However, after awhile, the person a few tables away spoke up and she finally looked up, meeting their eyes. She let out a laugh, "About 30 minutes, yeah," She looked out the window and noticed the storm had gotten pretty intense since she'd come in this morning, "But I've been in here all day so I barely noticed the weather kicking up anyway." She shrugged, looking back down at her notebook and finishing the sentence she'd started.

Having noticed, while looking at him, that he was reading the paper, she spoke up without looking up from her writing, "You enjoying your read?"

[dantehazeldine]

People from Jersey don’t ever know when to shut up unfortunately. It must be a trait that circles throughout their breed. 

[lanactrl-blog]

I was about to ready to actually murder her. Like, full out take the scissors from my hairdressers hands and just murder her. We should start cutting vocal chords. No one needs to talk that much and, coming from me, that says a lot. 

[lanactrl-blog]

text ✉️ lana

Feliks: this is embarrassing.

Feliks: i'm trapped in the bathroom.

Feliks: send help.

Lana: oh my god are you serious?

Lana: What do I get if you help you out?

[unfadcs]

flux and flow // connor & lana

[unfadcs]

Putting the girl’s hand back into his, he leaned his head back some. Most people knowing Connor would think this is an absurd thing for him to do. He’d agree, but only if it were with someone else. Never could he imagine doing this exact this with another girl without it leading to something a lot more sensual. With Lana it just felt natural and comforting and he couldn’t explain it to someone if he tried, not that he cared to.

He set his attention to Lana’s hair as she began speaking of it. A nod coming from him, “I couldn’t tell because it’s up, I’m sure it looks good on you though. I’ve never done anything to my hair.” He wasn’t lying. His natural light brown locks had always been that way, slight curls forming at the ends if he let it get long enough, but normally kept at mid length. “I don’t think I’ll ever want to though, it fits me.” Knowing nothing about the style of hair, he just leaned back into he preposition before she mentioned anything. After the topic changed to another, he peeked back up, as this subject seemed a bit more serious than the other. “Have they said much to you?” he asked, quite unsure of how to reply. It wasn’t like he could relate to it or anything. The only family he knew of his was his mom and dad— well really just his dad. In a way he sort of envied the fact her family was around her. Of course he didn’t know why they were there just yet, but he figured they missed or and was visiting or something. “Why are they here?” Connor asked, his curiosity finally getting to him.

The boy looked away for a few moments as he tried to remember the image she was giving him, finally realizing what she was on about. “Oh— yeah, the one like half an hour from here.” His head started to nod along with his words. A few flashes went through his mind as she continued to speak about one of the many moments they shared. It was crazy how much he forgot about them and even crazier how much they’ve done together. But he really couldn’t understand how he forgot about that particular visit. “You did eat a lot,” he said, breaking his line of thoughts. “I can’t believe I ate that much fucking junk food and I can’t believe you let me.” A small, playful splash of water left his hand as he finished his sentence, sending a few drops of water to Lana’s side of the tub. 

[lanactrl-blog]

"It does fit you," She nodded. Lana liked Connor's hair. It was soft and she spent a lot of their down time running her hands through it and playing with it. Sometimes, if she ran her hands through it it while he was sleeping, he would make happy little sounds like some kind of kitten or puppy. Lana hoped he never cut it any shorter than he usually had it. It would be too weird to have it any other way than what it was now.

When he asked about her family, she let out a laugh, "Oh yeah. I picked them up from the airport by request. And then we went out to lunch right afterwards. And then to dinner that night. They've been here a week and I have seen them way too much.. Well, except my dad," She shrugged her shoulders, "My dad's new movie is shooting in New York for a few months so he's staying here and decided to bring my mom and my brother. My sister was here for awhile but she's got her own shit to shoot so she left a few days ago." Lana let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes again. It wasn't that she didn't love her family, because she did. They could just be stressful and overbearing and judgmental-- all of which she'd talked to Connor about in the past. Nothing about their ways had changed since all those conversations with him before. 

She let out a loud laugh, "Nuh uh, you can't blame that on me. I always eat a lot and I told you that you didn't have to eat as much as I did. All of that food was on you-- literally," Lana laughed again, softer this time. More and more memories of the two nights in the hotel room came flashing back to her slowly and she really started to remember how things had gone. It had always been one of the most prominent memories when she thought about Connor and her connection with him. It wasn't until now that she'd realized why, and what she seemed to have blocked out.

There was a part of her who wanted to say something about what almost happened. She didn't know what to say. There was nothing to really say about it, and no way to really bring it up. There was no reason to, but for some reason there was a feeling in her chest that wanted. Instead, she lifted their linked hands up out of the water and pressed her palm flat against his, looking at the size difference of their hands, "Am I the only one who ever thinks back to times like those?" She didn't take her eyes off of their hand, "Between the two of us, I mean.. Not like, the only one in the world or anything."

[unfadcs]

flux and flow // connor & lana

[unfadcs]

"You guessed right, nice." He said, with more of an exhale of breath than a laugh. Not entirely sure if he wanted to get into any feelings, he just kept quiet for a moment. His blue eyes moving around the room, slowly. The boy had done enough of thinking and just wanted nothing more than relaxation and an escape from his own mind.

Lana’s suggestion slightly catching him off guard, Connor’s eyes ran back to hers, his eyebrows now in a furrowed position. Before he could even ask for assurance, she answered the question, proving just how well she knew the boy. His tongue ran over his bottom lip, which was hardly chapped from the cold weather. For a minute he was questioning himself whether he should do it or not, then he thought to himself, why the hell not?

The hand that was holding the girl’s, slipped away as Connor stood up. His fingers moved to grab the bottom hem of his hoodie and he pulled it off, managing to keep his eyes with Lana. Stripping away the rest of his clothes, his met the other in the still warm water. Chills instantly ran up his arms, his body temperature drastically changing. “Thank you,” he said, not even opening his eyes which were tightly closed together from the instant change of warmth.

[lanactrl-blog]

For some reason her eyes stayed on his, keeping eye contact as he pulled off his hoodie. When he was pulling his shirt off she took her eyes away from his and shifted herself so that when he got into the bathtub he'd actually have room to stretch a bit and relax. Then she watched him as he slid in and gave him a soft smile, nodding her head at his thanks, "Of course," Again she reached out for him to give her his hand. It wasn't a want, but a need for her to hold his hand now when they were around each other. She'd felt like she was losing control lately and holding his hand seemed to give her some kind of solidarity-- especially after all that time apart from him. 

"I cut my hair," She tilted her chin a bit towards her chest as a way to gesture towards the small bun on top of her head. "Don't know why. Just felt like I needed a change," She shrugged her shoulders and brought her head up again. Lana moved to pull her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest with one arm around them. "My brother, my mom and my dad are in the city for like a month. It kind of makes me nervous, like they're invading my space, y'know? Like in LA, that's where I'm used to beng with them. But I'm not used to them being here. Here is like my home away from home and I feel like it's too weird to have them here," She shook her head and let out a deep sigh. Lana didn't know where these thoughts were coming from or why she was telling them to him but it didn't matter too much. 

She fell silent for just a bit, sitting in the bathtub looking across at his face. Lana took deep breaths, trying to keep them steady as she willed her muscles to stop tensing themselves. The thought washed over her and she was speaking before she realized it, "Do you remember renting that hotel room?" She rested her chin on one of her knees and closed her eyes for a second, let out a small huff of laughter, "I remember being so irritated with my roommate that I was going to rip her head off and it was like one in the morning when I called you and we just.. We just left campus and didn't come back for like two days.. I think that's the most room service I've ever ordered in my entire life," Again, she let out a small huff of laughter and her eyelids fluttered open. Lana looked across the tub and met his eyes again, her smile soft and gentle. 

[unfadcs]

flux and flow // connor & lana

[unfadcs]

When the girl’s hand peeked out of the water, a small smile came to his face as he reached out and took it in his own, his arm now resting on the side of the bath tub. His head was still leaned back against the wall as he listened to her speak, his eyes kept on hers. Connor wasn’t too fond of the cold temperatures either. Growing up in California where the days are at a constant warmth, he enjoyed the clear weather and outside activities. Now that there were occasional snow storms in New York it was totally different but something he had learned to adjust to.

The soothing sensation of Lana’s warm hand against his cold one caused a warmth, that had been missing, to radiate through his body. Even with the layered clothing he happened to be wearing, the cool air still managed to surround him. “That bad, huh?” His words were slightly laced with faint laughter. Because it was just the two in the smaller room, he kept his voice soft and low. “I guess I can’t say much, I’ve been in bed all day.”

When asked about his current happenings, an exasperated sigh escaped his lips. “How am I doing?” he asked, the small smile coming back to form on the corner of his lips. “Guess.” To be honest, Connor hadn’t been up to much. Just constant thinking which seemed to bring him down lower than the stress of school work did. He was terrified to leave Aberley. Even though he only spent the past four years of his life at the school, it felt like so much more. It had definitely become a part of him that he liked and possibly changed him for the better.

He’d think about what life would be like after Aberley, without the sports he’d grown to obsess over, without the friends he made, without the parties, without Lana. Of course he was aware that his father would be waiting back at their Los Angeles home for his arrival, but maybe things would be different. The surroundings, the connection between him and his dad. Connor would always remember the disturbing images of his angered father that stayed in the pit of his mind, which he’d never truly forgive him for, but maybe he wouldn’t be so hard on Connor. All he could do was hope, if going back home was the case.

[lanactrl-blog]

His voice made the warmth of the water seep into her bones a little easier as it was soothing and familiar. It was one of the most calming sounds in the world to her. Maybe it was because of all those nights he'd lulled her to sleep with sweet and gentle musings. Maybe it was because she knew that his voice meant his presence was near and she felt completely and totally safe with him. Regardless of the reason, his voice brought a calmness to her that not a lot of other things could.

She laughed and nodded her head at his comment, but then her face twisted into a frown, "I'm gonna go ahead and guess that you're not doing too great," Lana squeezed his hand gently and rubbed her thumb against the top of it. She bent her other leg, her second knee now coming up a small bit over the bubbles like her other one did. For a second she looked forward and stared at the faucet, thinking over a decision in her head, before she spoke out loud, "You can get in if you want. It'll help relax you. Baths do wonders for me." She nodded, agreeing with her own statement, offering him a small smile.

She lifted her other hand out of the water and rubbed at an itch on her cheek, "And I know you're gonna ask me if I'm sure so yes, I'm sure. If you wanna get in, you should." Lana nodded her head again. There was a comfortableness she felt with Connor that she didn't feel with a lot of people. There were people she'd had sex with before but would never take a bath with, or even extend the offer. However, for some reason, the boundary didn't seem to be there with Connor. There was no way of knowing if he thought that was a line he didn't want to cross, but Lana had never really been concerned about other people's feelings when it came to voicing her thoughts. If he didn't want to then he didn't have to, but she wasn't going to feel embarrassed about offering. 

[cool-narcissist]

Visit Original Link

[lanactrl-blog]

You Were Always on My Mind by Keaton Henson

[unfadcs]

flux and flow // connor & lana

A vibration set off in the pocket of Connor’s pants, causing his eyes to open. He hadn’t been sleeping, more just resting really. The screen on the phone read Lana’s name in small text. As the boy sat up, he ran his thumb across the screen to unlock it. I’m in the bath. Come over, he read in his head.Since it was Lana he didn’t really think too much of it and texted her back to let her know he was accepting her invitation of company. It wasn’t too late and he had nothing better to do on a Tuesday night— thank god they were off for the blizzard. 

School was killing him. Every day was just a repeat of the same shit he couldn’t care for. But he managed to get through the long days and surprisingly even managed to do quite well. The kid had so much stress built up from multiple things, all he wanted to do was take a hot bath himself. Rest his body in the warm water and slowly fall deeper and deeper into the ring of the tub, eventually slipping away from everyone else.

Finally pulling himself off of the bed he hadn’t left for hours, he slipped a plain black t-shirt over his torso along with a black hoodie. How colorful. Once he slipped on his black vans, he made it out the dorm room wooden door and set off for Lana’s. He was thankful to get moments like these. Moments where he could kind of relax with one of his closest friends and just know everything’s cool. Lately things have been running left and right through Connor’s mind, barely leaving space for relevant thoughts of his own and it only added to present pressure. The male got back into realty upon reaching the other’s room, remembering it was open and allowing himself entrance. 

As soon as he entered the dorm, Connor could smell the mixture of scents from the bubble bath and other necessary aromas. He followed the sounds of moving water and placed his hand on a door knob, knocking quietly before fully making his way in. “Hey you,” he said, spotting Lana in the bath. He sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall opposite of the girl so that he was facing her. Stretched out legs crossed themselves as he leaned his head back, trying to find comfort in his position. 

[lanactrl-blog]

Lana had never been a fan of extreme temperatures. The blizzard wasn't as bad as the media had made it out to be, but she'd made her way to the Quaterly office and spent the day there with almost no source of heat. She couldn't get the computer to turn on and since she'd left her laptop back at her dorm, she'd done all the writing and plans for next month's paper by hand. At the end of the day it felt like her fingers and hands might just fall off. Her back was aching and she thought she would die from frostbite if she didn't get warmth immediately. 

At first she'd tried to just get under the blankets and fall asleep but that hadn't been enough. Her muscles were tense and sore and her feet were frozen done to the bone, so she'd made her way to the bathroom and ran a bath for herself. She'd put bubble bath in the water because she felt she deserved the pampering, and lit a few candles on the counter because the smell of them tended to calm her down. Everything was perfect and she'd almost settled in before she came to the realization that she really didn't want to be alone. Her roommate was out. The first person that came to her mind to contact was Connor and so that's what she'd done. 

Shortly after he agreed, she'd set her phone down on the counter and stripped before climbing into the warm water and settling in under the bubbles. Her newly cut hair was pulled up into a small bun on top of her head. Lana let her head rest back against the porcelain behind her before letting out a sigh. She closed her eyes softly and took deep breaths, trying to will her muscles to relax and stop aching.

There was no telling how long she'd been in the tub before she heard Connor come in. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, "Hi there," She bent one of her legs so that her knee barely poked up above the bubbles. She lifted one of her wet hands out of the tub and reached towards him, silently grabbing at the air and waiting for him to grasp her hand, "How's life treating you? This weather is kicking my ass. I feel like I've been run over by a treadmill being driven by the fucking abominable snowman. I was in the Quarterly office and there's like zero heat in that building right now," Lana let out a small laugh and shook her head, "How's my Hercules doing?" She asked, using the nickname to refer to him. She tilted her head to the side, still resting it back against the tub.

[lanactrl-blog]

TEXT → CONNOR

CONNOR: shit okay

LANA: the door's unlocked so just come in

[lanactrl-blog]

TEXT → CONNOR

LANA: i'm taking a bath

LANA: come over

[lydiahhhhmartin-deactivated2016]

"Here." The smaller brunette gave in, handing the laundry soap to the girl. "There is honestly no need to be rude."

[lanactrl-blog]

"Well if you just do what I ask next time then I won't have to be rude, mkay?" She gave a sarcastic smile before rolling her eyes and turning to pour some soap into the washing machine, "Jesus Christ. It's like everyone around here is completely useless."

[lydiahhhhmartin-deactivated2016]

"Thank you." she mumbled, "But with an attitude like that you can get it yourself." she shrugs, "Or at least say please."

[lanactrl-blog]

She let out a loud sigh, "Or you can hand it to me before I punch your jaw off your face.

[lanactrl-blog]

@connortf: i woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me

@totallylana: @connortf you still have all your fingers and toes, right?

[lydiahhhhmartin-deactivated2016]

"Wait, what? I’m sorry… I don’t mean to be rude or anything but can you — can you repeat that? I wasn’t listening. Not on purpose or anything, I just… I didn’t know you were talking to me."

[lanactrl-blog]

Goddamn you're lucky you're pretty or else I would be pissed that you're making me repeat myself. Who else would I be talking to? Jesus fucking Christ.. I asked if you could pass me the laundry soap on the counter next to you. 

[lanactrl-blog]

@stephiee: @totallylana i know how to use it. it just doesn't taste the same as the stuff from the coffee shop.

@totallylana: @stephiee okay but obviously you don't because 8/10 people would say the coffee from the machine in the lounge is p great

@totallylana: @stephiee once again you're left sounding fucking stupid

[lanactrl-blog]

@stephiee: the storm means no classes for at least another two days

@stephiee: could i BE any more excited? #chandlerbing

@stephiee: and i just realised it also means i have to use the crappy coffee machine in the student lounge #ugh

@totallylana: it's not crappy if you actually know how to use it lmao @stephieee

[lanactrl-blog]

INSTAGRAM: @totallylana uploaded a new photo

so i did this thing with my hair today... pluus the purchase of extensions in case i want to go long again.. i'm a very happy camper atm

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