TMA Relisten

Join Spring and Crow as we listen to the Magnus Archives and log our thoughts!

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Welcome to landfill-scraps!

As the description states, this blog was made for us to document & liveblog our relisten of the Magus Archives podcast. You can find Spring's intro here, and Crow's intro here.

We plan on listening to episodes pretty regularly, we don’t have an exact plan for how many we’ll listen to at a time but the ideal is four episodes posted each week, two on Monday, and two on Thursday.

Our liveblogs will have each of our reviews of the episode in the same post, so as to avoid spamming the tags too much. The episode reviews will be under the #episode review tag. We might also make other posts under the #scraps tag. Posts by Spring will be under the #spring sproings tag, and posts by Crow will be under the #crow caws tag.

Also here's a link to our explanation of the ratings we use for the episode reviews.

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First Edition S2E62 Review

Crow’s Review:

Yump. I like Mary’s descriptions through the episode, and her and Gertrude’s weird freakisms ofc. I do also enjoy her strange lilty voice. My brain so fried dog I’m not gonna lie. It was alright. Fun appearance of the bone book from like the 4th(?) statement. 

“The Magnus Institute is not what it seems” wow Jon you dont say

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

Fun! I actually remember this one very well because of how strong the story is, but every time I forget that it’s a live statement From Mary Keay. Also WOOOOOO Gertrude recording! Love the dynamic between her and Mary, weird horror-magic grandma rivalry! I do like how especially scary and old Mary sounds. Like I said I especially like this statement, there’s a lot that sticks out. The “doctor” in the statement, the book of the dead, really anything Mary talks about and how she talks about it. Neat little post-statement from Jon! Love how kinda creepy & teetering on obsessive he sounds here, I can picture him standing up from the desk and walking over to the floorboard.

So Mary was always eye-aligned the whole time! I think I misremembered the “I like to diversify my portfolio” line, and the one about disagreeing w/ Elias as; she divorced herself from any entity. But nope she’s super duper Eye, just specifically separate from the archives.

Mary immediately remembering/knowing the safe code is fun, I like the small subtle manifestation of fear powers like this.

GERTRUDE LAPTOP!!! Excited for what this means.

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

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Hard Shoulder S2E61 Review

Crow’s Review:

Crawlin in that coffin. Cars I will be stoppin’ on the road’s hard shoulder; lock and chains they can’t get colder. 

^ my awesome Daisy Tonner rap. 

Anyway. I really like all of the subtle ways that this episode displayed Daisy’s inclination towards solving problems with violence as a first pick. I totally get the weird sort of energy that springs up around those weird work calls where something is just. so baffling that all you can do in the moment is just rely on guts. 

Jon is so fucking stupid lmao

Also fun little preview of Daisy’s hobby of taking people to the woods and killing them. 

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

Spring’s Review:

I’m letting my bias show once more, but I liked this episode. First Daisy appearance and I’m reminded of what Diacunthus said about being afraid of whether the show would glorify or critique the cop characters, and man this episode really does paint a strong picture of Daisy. She is always angry, and biting at the bit to take it out on anyone she can, and she knows she’ll get away with it because she’s a cop, and we know later on that she’s well aware of this power she has.

Coffin, Breekon & Hope, and Tom (I think from the Joshua statement) appearance! I love the description of B&H’s van and how grimey it is, and especially the description of the coffin, how it’s almost Excited to be opened up. Again more setup for the coffin wailing/singing when it’s raining, which is delivered upon in S5.

Also acknowledgement that Jon is immediately afraid of Daisy, just cause she’s a cop, he doesn’t even really know about the Hunt’s influence yet. Like I dais in the first paragraph, I like that from scene one they’re characterizing Daisy as pretty willing to commit violence, and with very little hangups about it. And the end shows that she has no qualms with threatening people if she thinks she could get away with it.

I do like that this is kinda accidental(?) setup for Daisy being taken by the coffin in S3/4.

Also I LOVE the detail that Daisy kinda didn’t mean to/want to tell the story, the subtle workings of Jon’s early statement compulsion ability. (I’m also deciding that Daisy knowing the exact date of the event, just off hand, is an extension of the compulsion abilities, since it’s canonical that making a statement can grant you the ability to speak/write more fluidly).

Also like that there’s a kind of implication that the only thing that fully “settles” Daisy’s irritation with Jon is being compelled to make her statement, the fact that she’s basically immediately hostile right before and after it.

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

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The Observer Effect S2E60 Review

Crow’s Review:

This statement really cuts down to the raw, primal, bare bones parts of the eye. I can certainly appreciate that. I did enjoy the peeling back of any pretense or little gimmicks just to be like. “I’m being watched and it fucking sucks.” It’s definitely very one note because of that however. I am always drawn to any artefacts or weird little cursed doohickeys. Item that is inexplicably cursed as FUCKKK and will ruin your life <3. Again though, I just think this one wasn’t for me. A little too plain for my liking as I’m usually drawn to statements that feel more magical in nature.

Yay Jon has evidence maybe he will at last stop being so weird towards his coworkers (he will not.) 

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★☆☆☆☆ Personal rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

FUCK THIS ONES GOOD TOO!!! I don’t remember there being this many eye statements, but I guess it makes sense w/ how Important it is to the archives and out Archivist. Love the way that the statement too is going into the paranoia of feelings watched, it never ends, it’s always there, somewhere, watching. I love the one description we get of the thing in the mirror (it’s very analog horror monster, in a mostly good way).

Love a relatively mundane person (though w/ connections to the institute & the Eye by extension) figuring out about the entities and their various devoted groups of followers. Love the acknowledgement of artifacts from that same “mundane” perspective, and it specifically inspired the idea of collecting items of significance from each entity for some kind of mini-ritual.

I really liked everything here. I’ve always had a weird distant relationship w/ the eye, it always felt prevalent but never really explored beyond “oh i’m being watched” and really examining Jon’s behavior, the recurring-ness of Jonah and the institute, and this statement in particular (supplemental included) really shine a light on the eye’s fun little implications and themes.

Speaking of that supplemental, fun to have all our characters talking in another group setting, all the fun character dynamics and lines we get here, Jon still being unyielding that one of them Could have filled her (until Elias relents and gives him the evidence he needs to “disprove it” and even then Jon just focuses on the Tunnels as an explanation for their guilt). It’s good.

Not much to note other than that artifact mini-ritual I mentioned is a fun idea I wanna explore on my own if I ever end up running a game w/ the tma game system.

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

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Trail Rations S2E58 Review

Crow’s Review:

I feel like this statement really displays a lot of the horrors of being a woman at the time. “Yes I know this is stupid, no I don’t want to go, I don’t trust this man and I know that he has evil plans for us but I’m not really allowed a say and my husband is too stupid to notice.” Yikes!!! I like all of the references to the common Christian ideologies at the time as well. Subtle things like the pastor being an important and prominent figure in a person’s life as well as begging the Lord for mercy. I also love how well it depicts how uncaring nature is, and that not properly doing your research before a trip could spell certain doom, and how easy it is to die to “simple” things like the cold. 

The statement giver in this was such a girlboss baddie it’s a shame she almost certainly froze to death. 

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story:

★★★★★ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

Spring’s Review:

This ones pretty good, I do like the “perversion” of saying grace before going to kill and eat the guy. Love when avatars(?) just get killed by mundane items. I do really like all the old-timey statements, again, because they feel so well researched and portray the language of the time very well. Very Christian and all. Like Jon says, it’s interesting that something from the states made its way to Jonah Magnus. I don’t think that ever gets explained, and is probably just more subtle evidence for: this guy was real weird and has a knack for finding statements.

This one is pretty iconic among fans iirc, and the targeting of Christian faith and practice I think plays a part in that. Outside of this and a few minor details w/ Rayner and his backstory TMA doesn’t really do Real World Religious Stuff (not really counting the various cults since they’re made up, though they are likely based on real practices and strategies of real life cults.) And as a big outlier in that way, it sticks out very well among other statements.

I am gonna say, I think I’m just fairly whelmed by this one. It wasn’t bad or boring, but it didn’t blow me out of the water or anything. Cannibalism don’t really bother me and neither does the perversion of christian beliefs.

I do like the Oregon Trail stuff, but I feel like that just feeds into the: old-timey statements are well researched.

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

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Recluse S2E59 Review

Crow’s Review:

Ahhh nothing like cracking open a nice hilltop road. I do always enjoy the novelty of statements that feel very directly Web related just bc there aren’t that many, but I don’t…. really care about the content of them. Its just not my brand of horror I guess. “Aughhh my will isn’t my own and I’m a passenger in my own body!” Bro that sounds like an average Tuesday. That said, I did enjoy the story aspects of it, the statement giver certainly sounds like they’ve had a rough go of it. I do wonder about the person who was supposed to be taking the kids after their placement had finished. The statement seems to imply that whoever the person was never actually came back for the kids and never thought to question their whereabouts after supposedly having already picked them up. Probably can just be explained by “Web stuff”. 

Raymond and Agnes have the strangest relationship ever and its such a puzzle to me. Little girl who I care for who is foiling my plans that I have some kind of soul link to. 

Ratings Scary: ★☆☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

I’m not gonna lie, this one kicks ass! I really liked this from start to finish. The way the statement giver describes being controlled is so good, it’s not subtle and he can always kinda feel it, but he never fights it or even disagrees with what’s happening, just like being on auto pilot. Surely this does not resonate with any dissociative disorders one might have. The way he describes “the system” and how horrible it was to him, and how what happened at Raymond Fielding’s house was Way Worse really builds it up as something terrifying very well.

Again, I still love the description of the table and how the apple is described almost identically to its appearance in that one other statement about Hilltop road. It’s funny, I don’t remember the square in the center of the table ever having an answer, let alone one that came up Twice (if not more) in the show!

Agnes Montague’s appearance is really fun, I’m a sucker for the interpersonal dramas of the entities and their associated groups and avatars. Love that the statement giver describes Ray’s expression towards Agnes as fear, since we know the Desolation is historically the biggest “counter” to the Web.

Again drugs, addiction, and its connection to the web!

8 boys in the house. At 18 they all leave. I see what you’re doing Johnny.

The description of the boys & the spider sacks is so yucky nasty (in a good way!)

THE WEB TABLE! Agnes Montague! And Raymond Fielding, a name I barely recognized until now. Including Jon’s post-statement I like how it’s being acknowledged that so much damn stuff is happening w/ Hilltop Road.

Also Jon’s supplemental! Love how paranoid Jon really is about all of his coworkers, the archives, and everything happening around him. :)

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★★ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

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Personal Space S2E57 Review

Crow’s Review:

I fucking love the Daedelus. I do think that this might be my favorite statement from it too? Hard to say. I do love when Lonely statements get a bit Spiral-y and I think that the kind of crazy that people get in isolation is the perfect little sweet spot to explore. I can’t even begin to imagine agreeing to something like this. I get weird if I go more than a couple days without talking to a friend. The imagery of being so far from Earth and then having that disappear too? Oh yeah babey. Coupled with the realization that the camera doesn’t even work? Yikes!!!! 

Ratings Scary: ★★★★☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★★

Spring’s Review:

Fun!!! I know Crow really likes thai statement, and it’s hard not to, the Daedelus is iconic in my mind for how many things it crosses at once, Manuela and the Dark, the Fairchilds and the Vast, and this statement in specific with the Lukases and the Lonely. This also might be one of my favorite Lonely statements, it forgoes the usual fog and empty areas for Space, and an experiment with the specific goal of creating a kinda Perfect Isolation. (Like how the statement giver mentioned the Lukas in charge being so upset that he wasn’t actually alone). It’s so good.

The supplemental! Hi Not!Sasha sorry Jon is being a freak. Again I always underestimated how much of a stalker little Freak Jon was being in this season but holy dang! Dog is literally just digging through their stuff and talking about “oh I’ll have to wait to spy on Sasha after this” like it’s a setback in his research. Really good stuff here.

The descriptions of the hallucinations reminds me of the movie Oculus (which is actually a very Spiral aligned movie) but also on that topic, I LOVE when statements/entities use manifestations that are pretty closely associated with other entities. Hallucinations always clocks as Spiral in my head, but it’s great to see how isolation can cause them.

This reminds me of the time Michael from Vsauce did an episode about isolation and locked himself in a room in an experiment like this one. Or the way people describe hallucinating when you’re alone or in the dark for long periods of time.

The description of Tom and Not!Sasha’s pictures bore me, as the Not!Them always do, but the specific line of looking like stock pictures I do really like.

Ratings Scary: ★★★★★ Story: ★★★★★ Personal rating: ★★★★★

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hello freaks! crow here! unfortunately only one review tonight because spring and i have both started new jobs recently and are still adjusting to them.

we will be back on monday!

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Children of the Night S2E56 Review

Crow’s Review:

While listening to this I realized that the reason that I thought that Trevor killed the guy in the first statement for being gay is because I was confusing it for this statement! Mystery solved! Trevor just can’t stand to see a gay man getting some. I was rather compelled by the description of him realizing his mistake. There’s nothing like standing over something with the sudden realization, “Oh I fucked up. Oh I fucked up bad.” I love that there’s web stuff in here AND I love that the web stuff is what drew him into the institute. Web and addiction tie ins my beloveddddd. 

Eek post statement scary confrontation! It’s so funny and also extremely telling that Jon feels he can confront Martin with his findings but not the others. I’m also a big fan of how relieved and near excited Jon sounds when he finds out the real truth.

Probably an explanation somewhere for this but why did Elias hire Martin bc I feel like he definitely Knew he was lying lol

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

Spring’s Review:

I was honestly dreading another statement from Trevor, the vampires bore me, but this one actually rocked! I like that it was really more of a Web statement, two(?) web avatars showing up using drug addictions as manipulation tactics to control people. It’s an aspect of the Web that I barely remember at all and is super relevant to this episode. Even describing Trevor’s avatar feeding as an addiction, this season really is leaning into teaching us about avatars and how they work, exist, and live. I like Trevor Herbert assumedly dying on the spot then just getting right back up to continue his statement? Still a little confused on the logistics, but the idea of the archive half-compelling Trevor to finish his statement even after dying and coming back. The supplemental! Yikes! Scary Jon!!! There wasn’t any compelling static but again, Martin being more than willing to admit a career ending lie is a little fun, also love how relieved Jon is to hear that his coworker isn’t some monster and just lied on his resume. It’s a scene that shows just how paranoid Jon is, and gives us some Martin backstory while we’re at it!

Honestly not much else to say, I liked it! Maybe a little long but I did like everything presented here.

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

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Pest Control S2E55 Review

Crow’s Review:

Ough this one yuckyyyyy. The descriptions of the greasy oily jaundiced things are always ones that get me. Lots of variety of yuckynasty descriptions for the whole family here! Again with some nice thread tying this statement to the others. Something that’s not even mentioned in this statement that it does put me in mind of none the less is hoarder's houses. Very similar “I don’t even want to move my body right now for fear of brushing against something that I will never get off” vibes. 

Ratings Scary: ★★★★☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

Spring’s Review:

This one ROCKS! Again, I’ll admit my bias here, I have a friend that’s into Jordan Kennedy so I was a little primed to like this one, but it was really good! Maybe a little long, there was once or twice that things felt like that dragged just a little but that’s only if I’m nitpicking. Jordan as a character is so fun, I especially like his little intro paragraph of not lying about what his job is. Warts and all. I will admit that the last story/statement does feel pretty weak, it feels like they just wanted an opportunity to explain Jane Prentiss dying(?) It leaves me with more questions than answers and not in the fun way.

Jon connecting the idea of several individual avatars that come from the same entity/concept, it’s fun! It’s things we already know but it is still intoxicatingly fun to watch Jon connect the dots.

There’s a few lines that, at first felt like this was a written statement that became an in-person statement, but I’m always a fan of the giver getting so invested in their story that they’ll forget they’re retelling it and not reliving it.

II LOVE the recurring motif of Avatars dying to the mundane elements of other entities, especially ones that are thematically (or aesthetically) opposed: Corruption meet Lighter.

Speaking of a weird amount of Desolation in this one, but I’m willing to bet that’s just due to the relevance to it’s Recurring Fights with the Corruption.

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

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Still Life S2E54 Review

Crow’s Review:

I think that it’s a testament to good writing skills that the statement giver in this one seems so likeable and kind in contrast with the cruel warden from a couple statements ago and I admire that flexibility to be able to embody a character especially from within their own point of view. I think what the voice in the basement is repeating in this one is potentially implying that was the last thing they heard? But can’t say I’m certain. Of courseeee scary ass stranger Sasha goes to investigate the scary ass Stranger shop and of courseee she finds nothing. All in all though, I can’t really say the statement did too much for me. It ties some nice threads together, but I can’t say it was all that great.

Jon says the line “I may not entirely trust my assistants but I won’t lose them.” which makes me so sad because he already lost one of them and doesn’t even know :( 

Ratings Scary: ★☆☆☆☆ Story: ★★☆☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

It’s alright, I do enjoy the setup for the Oldest Skin in the world, and the taxidermy shop as a concept, and bringing the Anglerfish back up one more time, but otherwise it’s just another Stranger statement that mores me. It doesn't help that I’m extra unbothered by taxidermy. I’ll admit I do like Daniel Rawlings’ characterization here (however small it is), and this is another statement where the statement giver feels very neatly fleshed out. But, In the end it really just feels like setup for later Stranger stuff, while once more trying desperately to tie together the hundreds of spinning plates the Stranger has, all of said plates with too much food on them. Trying to mix the plate spinning and too much food on my plate analogies together aside,

The Supplemental!!! I’m not gonna lie, hearing Jon talk about her flat did make me go flat->what are things in a flat->a laptop->gertrude’s laptop->omg wait that means Tessa Winters->BINARY THIS SEASON. And got excited based purely on that. Anyways love Jon just fully doing and admitting to doing full on crimes as a part of this supplement.

LOVE that “Sasha” volunteers to look into the Stranger Place and it’s 100% uneventful with nothing important whatsoever, ahuh, you can trust me Jon, I’m Sasha.

Also hi Breekon and Hope.

I do like that this guys got away and pretty competently, if shit’s scary Hit Da Bricks!

Also the little detail setup & reinforcing Gertrude’s district of the archives w/ her cutting out all the eyes.

Ratings Scary: ★☆☆☆☆ Story: ★★☆☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

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Crusader S2E53 Review

Crow’s Review:

Uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhh guys guys I gotta be honest don’t tell Spring I zoned out for a lot of this one I’m so sorry. The idea that the archives have existed in some form since ancient civilization is very very intriguing and the last bits about the thing once being an archivist never fails to send a little shiver down my spine. I do feel like most of the set up for this one was pretty .. long winded and fairly irrelevant? 

Mmmm Dark crumbs delicious thp thp thp (<- thats me sticking out my tongue to pick up the Dark crumbs)

So funny that Martin bursts through the door all “Hi Jon do you want a sandwich” while Jon is mid-sentence describing his distrust of the archives. 

Gertrude love plastic explosives they’re literally her favorite hobby

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

HOLY DAMN!!! The lore shit in this one is kinda crazy this feels like, for lack of a better term, a bombshell. The statement is pretty good, this might be the first one I can very confidently describe as two separate entities (both the Slaughter. And the Eye). I like the first bit, having an older(?) va and how in-depth it’s all described and how visceral the descriptions feel lends a real credibility to the statement. It’s all pretty grotesque in the best ways. The second half I like a lot, if just for the archive-adjacent implications, the description of the old ass archivist, the dark cult guy that scratched out his own eyes after looking upon ye old leitner before leitner. The way it’s described that it goes pitch black but he still perfectly sees everything paints a really vivid picture in my head about how the Dark and the Eye interact with one another.

Gertrude statement!

The way Heller describes walking around aimlessly calls to mind the way the guy in Page Turner describes walking around, and the way Annabel Cane describes being willed by the Web to wander, maybe there’s something there?

There’s some bit that kinda jumped out to me as like “oh the VA is reading the script again, lmao”.

I do love the pretty subtle detail and evidence( And maybe this is just me looking into things too much) that the knights were from the dark cult, and were sent to destroy an important place for the Eye. The entity war has been going on for a While.

Jon (and Gertrude) says it all for me, the implication of older archives, and older archivists, it’s SO good.

Also love that we get to kinda hear Gertreude learning things, which is an easy way to shake Jon into being like YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE! TRUSTED SOURCES ALSO CARE BRO!

Also (I’m talking more in the bullet points then the body, lmao) love that Gertrude just blows it up. Easiest solution, never change, the Robinson classic.

It’s also very cute to see Martin caring about Jon, I feel like I 100% missed all the little scenes like this in my first listen throughs, and hearing it this time was such a delight.

Also (personally) finally get an explanation for what the hell the thing on the Eye tarot card art is, it’s this guy!

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

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Exceptional Risk S2E52 Review

Crow’s Review:

rips off my shirt grahhhh I fucking love the darkkkkkk. Listening to the statement giver in this one describe their thoughts on the prison system and the inmates, calling them monsters, admitting to violence and whatnot feels very realistic to listen to. Especially the note at the end with his wife leaving him from the abuse. It also strikes me that in his statement he complains that he tires of hearing prisoners proclaim their innocence, but does the same at the end of the statement when he talks about losing his job and even says “its not fair” like he ever knew what fair was in the first place. I am and will always be obsessed with the dark being portrayed as a living thing itself, rather than something lurking within it. I think dark episodes hands down have some of my favorite imagery. Maybe tied with some of the dreamier Spiral statements.

Funny little Basira appearance. Hello Basira, sorry about Tim, Basira. 

Ratings Scary: ★★★★☆ Story: ★★★★★ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

Spring’s Review:

This one was vaguely familiar when I read the name and immediately recognized which one it was upon reading the first line. I’ll admit my bias does show here, anything to do with Rayner and the MINISCULE Callum Brodie crumbs we get here I do quite enjoy.

The statement itself is pretty good, again I like when the statement givers are assholes and this guy really is just a piece of shit. SO often he talks about never being remorseful for his violence against the inmates, and thinks everything he did was, while maybe excessive, justified in the end because of who the inmates are. Truly a dickhead.

The Robert Montauk characterization is really fun, and it makes sense coming from someone who literally had to supervise him day in and day out. I don’t remember if Julie’s statement talked about how he looked but it’s fun to try and throw something together in my head of what he looked like based on what we get to read here.

The bits of the dark cult are very fun, the murky water being ceaselessly present after Rayner’s appearance, the way TMA describes the dark is really evocative here. Love that the still and lightless beast is described as “musical” I think this comes back much later when we actually get to hear it run around in season 4 or 5. Makes me curious about why Rayner showed up, and why it took some time for the beast to catch Montauk. The crumbs we get in the post-statement leading up to Callum Brodie and his family are very fun, totally forgot that his dad made this statement.

Tma is an office drama.

I like that Jon asking to meet Sasha’s boyfriend is so out of the question in his mind. One cause it’s funny and two it goes to show just how in his head he is about all of this.

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

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High Pressure S2E51 Review

Crow’s Review:

The idea of Simon Fairchild just going around fucking with various extreme sportsmen will always be funny to me. I like this one. The ocean is freaking scary and honestly if someone told me this story irl, with how little we know about the ocean, I just might believe them. It’s not incrediblyyyyyy remarkable? The descriptions of the hole could have been stronger I feel. 

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

Spring’s Review:

Neat! Some of the elements bore me I’ll admit, but I like the idea of an underwater vast statement, especially the visual of looking through the hole to see an impossibly deep ocean, and an impossibly bigger Thing (though describing it as a hand is a little boring, meh whatever). Another statement where the occupation of the giver feels very well researched, especially the details about how you need to slowly return to the surface lest your body pressure be fucked (like that one sonic exe fnf mod). It’s alright, the “i should be dead” sentiment is another thing that does bore me a little, but it could also be you need to survive for the entity to feed off of your fear.

Fairchild! I like describing him as a pink skeleton, and more characterization of the misc. Avatars through testimony is fun, even for the avatars I’m not crazy about.

The yacht being bigger than expected is a fun little detail.

Love another statement that emphasizes how someone who’s dedicated their life to something can suddenly be so afraid of it after an encounter with an entity.

This one does unfortunately remind me of the overlap between the Fairchilds and the Lukases. (And by extension, the vast and the lonely).

Wonder if Not!Sasha is having meetings with the circus in that wax museum.

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

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The Butcher’s Window S2E49 Review

Crow’s Review:

I was just thinking that we hadn’t gotten a statement from someone with a particularly strong personality in a while. This guy is an asshole!! I do love myself a good private investigator. I like the Eye theming around this fella. I think it’s more rare that we get Eye associated folks talking about wanting to know for personal gain rather than some deep desire to know. Overall, there’s really nothing crazy going on here. Some nice gore, but nothing that's terribly compelling to me personally.

Imagine getting your own personal snuff film screening from inside of a locker. Hummina.

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

Another statement where we get to see someone with eye-inclinations getting too curious for their own good (and by their own admission). I’ve said it before but I really do like when we get to see the subtler influences of the entities on mundane people, and for the eye the biggest one is that dangerous curiosity. Statement giver is fun, I like that he’s kinda an asshole. The idea of a private investigator stumbling into the paranormal by pure happenstance is very funny. The “I’d still have my arm” line is really good setup for people who recognized the name Jared, and just a good setup for: well somehow this turns into this guy losing his arm.

Jared! This might be my favorite appearance of him so far, and description of the boneturning and how it feels “taking off a rubber glove, but you’re the glove” is an iconic line to me. It really just makes me with we heard more about Jared before and during the early stages of his avatardom & his use of the boneturner’s tale. Screw Mike Crew I want to see the eyewitness account of Jared choosing to enact violence on behalf of the flesh.

“The last thing I want is for the Archives to become involved in pointless personal drama.” sure glad this never happens (I say jokingly ofc, I prefer the later seasons).

Is this the first time Jon mentions there being “types” of statements, obviously he’s not saying it directly, but he’s half-admitting that there are a sub-section of statements that are particularly meaty.

The supplemental is neat but it just reminds me how infuriatingly annoying Elias fans are. It's good early setup for the body swap reveal.

Ratings Scary: ★★☆☆☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

[landfill-scraps]

Foundations S2E50 Review

Crow’s Review:

I’m not really into a lot of the architecture statements. Some of them are pretty alright, but I think that a lot of them, including this one, fall a bit short for me. Maybe the concept just isn’t quite compelling to me? Much like a dead horse or perhaps wax wings, the architecture theme gets me nowhere. I think that the subject really does become a bit of a dead horse too. I tire of hearing about Smirke by the end of things. The concept of an architect building a Scary Building is fun! But I can’t think of a statement that I’m fond of that features it. 

The description of the keys and boots heard in the hall was cool I guess.

I do like the language and mannerisms of the old statements. 

Ratings Scary: ★☆☆☆☆ Story: ★☆☆☆☆ Personal rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Spring’s Review:

Man I kinda love all the architecture statements involving Smirke and his gaggle of cohorts. It’s my favorite little subsection of the spiral. This one is especially fun as our first time meeting Smirke himself, and hearing from the horses mouth about his theory on Balance, how it’s different but easily mistaken for Symmetry, and how that all ties into his work (and metawise the “Architecture of fear”) Also love the little detail of Smirk speaking in code about a “patron” (the Spiral). I always took Smirke as someone who succeeded at that balance and never leaned too heavily into one particular entity, but the spiral's grip on him might’ve always been there.

Also iconic post-statement that is probably the reason everyone thought Jon and Basira were hooking up.

What an architecture degree does to a mfer.

I’m gonna be honest, are we supposed to know what “Saint Pancras Station, the Albert Memorial and the restoration of Westminster Abbey” are?

Looked it up, sounds like British.

I assume this is supposed to be setup (especially for ALL the mention of prisons) for Smirke and other architect to be the minds behind Millbank prison, and all its relevance to the archives.

Also love how perfectly [whoever wrote the episode] captured the language and tone of the time, I’ve said it before but I always really like the old-timey statements cause the verbiage is written so well.

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★★ Personal rating: ★★★★☆

[landfill-scraps]

Lost in the Crowd S2E48 Review

Crow’s Review:

Normally I’m not much of a fan of Lonely statements, but I didn’t mind this one! I think that the idea of being lonely even amongst “people” is far more compelling to me than being lonely.. alone. I really like the descriptions of the “people” in this one too! It feels more evocative than the usual kind of “their bodies were wrong” that we sometimes get. I’m also currently on a solo trip so perhaps I’m just more vulnerable to this specific statement at the moment. Of course, I do always feel more moved by the statements that I can relate to. 

Gerry being on vacation and getting what can only be described as “called into work” is so hilarious. It will never not be funny. Especially that he dropped the goth look for some kind of hawaiian shirt. 

The supplemental for this one is also funny just in the sense that not even for a second is Jon like. “Maybe I should stop stalking my coworkers” he just doubles down on “I need to be more careful when I’m stalking my coworkers”

Ratings Scary: ★★★★☆ Story: ★★★☆☆ Personal rating: ★★★☆☆

Spring’s Review:

I quite enjoyed this one! I was a little afraid of another boring, all-too-similar lonely statement but this one was really something special! Like a statement from an unknowing avatar in the making. Love Gerry’s little “scene” here, and how he’s described as creepy in how much he stares, maybe he always was an eyevatar and I just never fully clocked it somehow. Anyways the way he talks about being “marked” might be the first ever usage of the term. I like that, noticing someone is the target of an entity, his instinct is to give them advice on how to survive and fend it off. (compared to others who would just watch them suffer. Anyways, the statement itself, like I said I really like it! I especially love the sentiment of “it’s a feeling I’m not doing justice even with the time to describe it” since that’s kinda my favorite part of “eldritch horror” but in this case it’s like- eldritch bliss. Maybe that’s just what feeding as an avatar is like; eldritch bliss.

The supplemental! I think it’s so funny to see Jon’s rapid descent into being a freaky ass stalker to his coworkers and how quickly into distrust one thing Michael said is sending him. It really shows that Jon had 1 (one) recorded interaction with Michael and was like,  Indeed, to listen to this to learn about him & understand everything he said (at least that’s what feels implied to me).

I wonder if Gerry is here right after getting acquitted because of Gertrude, or if this is ever explained since Jon talks about it.

Ratings Scary: ★★★☆☆ Story: ★★★★☆ Personal rating: ★★★★☆