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@languageobserved
Understanding MBTI - The Basics
If you’re curious how four letters could so accurately pin your personality or if you’re someone just interested in learning more, this post is for you. There’s a lot of information and tons of misconceptions to dispel, so let’s jump right in.
Traits vs. Functions: We’ll start with the four letters. I’m an INFJ, for example. While these letters can tell you a good bit about how I behave in the world, they’re maybe 10% of the total picture. Think of them more as traits to be perceived. What is much more important are functions. You can get the functions from my four letters with a sort of formula, but that’s not so important, for right now.
The Functions: There are four primary functions, each with an extroverted and introverted form, giving us eight in total. There are the perceiving functions: Extroverted Sensing, Introverted Sensing, Extroverted Intuition and Introverted Intuition. These are used to take in data from the world. Next there are the judging functions: Extroverted Feeling, Introverted Feeling, Extroverted Thinking and Introverted Thinking. Every personality type will have two of each in their “functional stack”.
Sensing and Intuition: As mentioned earlier, these functions are used to take in information from the world or to “perceive” the world. Sensing is primarily used in a great majority of the human population. This is because it responds to what is real, literally what is experienced through the five senses. Intuition, on the contrary, is more like a mental recreation that the user creates in their head. If that’s not clear enough, it will be in a moment.
Thinking and Feeling: These are the judging functions because they respond to data received from the sensing functions. They’re more obviously straight-forward than sensing vs. intuition and need much less explaining.
How they Operate Together: How we function (no pun intended) is that we use our sensing or intuition to take in data and our feeling or thinking to judge that data. Without going too in-depth about extroversion and introversion on functions, I’ll give slightly oversimplified examples:
An ISFJ and an INFJ go out to a new restaurant and are eating Greek food for the first time. The ISFJ first senses the restaurant, the smells, the atmosphere, the noise, everything. When she orders her food, she strongly tastes it. All of this information is then filtered through her feeling function. She creates and stores judgments in her mind about the food, the staff etc.
The INFJ already has a mental idea of what to expect despite it being a new experience. He notices things and draws connections in his mind (ie. the food they’re serving is similar to food in Arabic culture). He uses this to update his feelings on Greek culture and create a more accurate mental image of reality.
INFJ - Trauma
Teen Years
Into my teen years, I was socially withdrawn, socially anxious (almost terrified) argumentative and very much a know-it-all. I rarely spoke in middle school and had no friends. I believe that I had largely detached from my extroverted feeling and was using my introverted thinking and intuition alone. I did long for connection but I believe I was simply halted from growing socially or emotionally. I became obsessed with human suffering and the morbid. I believe it was partially to understand my own feelings and partially to keep people from a relationship.
My home life became increasingly dominated by fights between my uncle (INTJ?) and mom (ISFJ). My brother (INFP) and my cousin (ISFP?) were my only connections in life. My brother developed and explosive temper and severe anxiety. My cousin developed major anxiety and began using drugs. As my uncle’s addiction grew worse, the fights became more severe. My brother and cousin would often hide in the bathroom cabinets while I would wait, on alert, in case he decided to attack us. I believe these moments served to develop my Ni and Ti.
Around 15 years old, one night my uncle was very bad on crack and alcohol. My mom told us to lock our bedroom door. She barricaded herself in her bedroom and he attempted to kick her door in, threatening to kill her. He eventually began threatening to kill the family and saying that we all needed to die to be with my dad. He eventually slashed his wrists and it went quiet. We awoke to the cops in our room. I was afraid that he had killed my mom. When I went downstairs, she didn’t acknowledge our fear or anxiety, instead saying that it would be okay because the cops would find my uncle. This marked a turning point.
I turned away from using my mom to substitute for my Fe and began intentionally drawing attention to myself in school in a bid to get my Fe acknowledged. Unable to relate, I scared a girl who had me investigated for stalking and then I was separately investigated for being accused of planning a mass murder. This, again, caused me to shut down my Fe. I developed anorexia and began cutting myself.
INFJ - Trauma
I figured I would start the research with myself and help provide a sample.
Early Self: In my earliest years, I was very sensitive. I remember crying when my dad explained a random stranger was getting arrested. I was also quite empathetic and took on the role of caregiver or nurturer from a young age. I lived with my mom (ISFJ) and dad (INFP?) and had a younger brother by 18 months (INFP). In my earliest years, my dad was addicted to heroin and my mom was going through college. We lived in a bad trailer park until my dad got clean and we moved (I was 5). In the neighborhood I was friendly and always with my brother and friends. In school, I was described as a leader. My brother and I became close with an older boy neighbor (J) and a younger girl neighbor (S). J encouraged us to play sexual games. On one occasion, we were innocently playing the games when J became violent and raped S. I was scared of him and turned away. He threatened to cut her brother’s head off if her parents ever knew. I felt immensely guilty and I believe keeping the secret lead me to thinking more logically. I was only 7 but needed to watch my words so as not to be asked.
My dad’s kidneys failed due to diabetes when I was 8. This lead to him being forced on to dialysis and made him despair. He soon began abusing benzos and opiates again. He would fall asleep while driving and I was very worried about him. I expect this aided in my logical thinking and intuition development. I had to prepare to react. His brother (INTJ?) was released from prison for bank robbery and began living with us. They partied together. When I was 9, my dad overdosed and died in his sleep. In the aftermath, my mom and his brother began a relationship. My uncle was an alcoholic and would be mean and aggressive when drinking. My mom was codependent and moody. Both were unstable and I believe I developed my intuition and feeling, out of necessity, to better anticipate their moods. I felt my feelings were a burden to my mom and so I believe I gradually began to shut them off.