Go ahead and skip this if the various underage prompts on Cherubplay are not of any interest to you. Stick around if you would like my perspective on the presence of role players seeking to play characters 7-12 age range in sexual situations.
This essay is operating under the assumption that the majority of the prompts posted are by people who had been victim of child molestation or rape. It feels like the most likely cause to want to rp this sort of situation, due to them being in the position to be hurt by this role play, not as the aggressor, or someone who poses to ‘benefit’- but more on this later. This is all coming from someone who is a victim of child molestation and rape, so please; do not try to peg me as being sympathetic to the act, because I am so fucking not.
The first and only and most important rule to understanding what these individuals are thinking:
Logic does not have a place here.
It has ceased to apply. Society around us has made sure that it is wholly impossible for a person, on their own, to view their experience with any sort of logic. I am going to be trying to break this down as understandably as possible.
At this age you do not understand what is happening to you. You may know that it is bad, or that it hurts, but it is still an undefined thing that you are unaware of what to call or how to act on. You've learned to tell teacher when someone pulls your hair, or to go to mom when your sibling shoves you, but what do you do when your big brother’s friend goes into your bedroom and shuts the door? He’s a friend, after all, not a stranger. In recollection, I don’t have any fear when my incidents occurred. They were just weird. All of my issues came after, when I started to understand what had happened.
The issue with the individuals posting these prompts and using the term of dubious consent, while the character age is clearly too young to consent: a few of my incidents happened in the same room as my brother. He had his back to us, looking at the TV as he played video games. I could have done any number of things to get his attention, but I didn't. I was never alone in a building with my attacker. I could have screamed and shouted. But I didn't. As I grew up and began to understand what had happened to me, and listened to society around me, I assumed I must have been, on some level, okay with all of it. I didn't try to get away, did I? Even if it felt weird. Even if it hurt and I didn't like it. See rule one.
We, as victims, are often in situations where we do not feel comfortable discussing what has happened, are just not allowed to, or have other things happen that make it feel further our fault. Sometime between when I was eight and sixteen my mom had forgotten entirely about the incident, due to her own psychological problems of not being able to cope with having anything wrong in the family, and had invited my attacker to dinner after running into him at the store. I hid in my room and she confronted me about it, after reminding her of what had happened, she accused me of holding a grudge. I accepted this. See rule one.
Now for why victims will seek out to rp these situations:
It honestly doesn't matter how many statistics we can be shown, or talk to friends who had similar experiences. Somehow the thought lingers that we have done something specifically to deserve this. See rule one. Being able to play out a scenario, for those that are already inclined to writing and role play, is intensely soothing.
For me, it was the only thing that fully made me accept that this happens to anyone. Even though I had a friend share a similar experience with me, but only being able to manipulate fictional characters falling into the same traps alleviated that there must be something wrong with me. Normalization to people who simply view or might commit pedophilia is horrible. Normalization to people who are victims make us feel less like dirty freaks. See rule one.
I know the majority of belief is that, obviously, victims should want to play the aggressor instead of the victim. I honestly do not feel this is the case. While I do not doubt that some people would make themselves feel better by lashing out and inflicting the same thing, even in just a harmless role play, I personally am not ever able to play as the aggressor. It would make logical sense to want to be in the empowering role, but see rule one.
Role play takes an undefined, nebulous fear, an intangible fog of self-doubts and self-depreciation, and gives it a form. It becomes small and manageable. It can be examined and poked around. It can be stopped in an instant or just paused so communication can happen. The healing feeling at being able to do this is literally the only logical part.
What does all this mean to you, random Cherubplay peruser?
Not every victim is lucky enough to have totally rad friends. I had someone I was already role playing with and could share my issues with, who was willing to help me. If I hadn't had this friend, I would have been very tempted to turn to a completely anonymous role play board.
Not every victim has been able to challenge their issues brought on by their incidents. They may still feel like they deserved it. They may call it dubcon because they hadn't fought to get away. They likely have no idea how to begin to approach their feelings, and have bottled them instead, as I had for many years, and are now looking for an outlet.
These victims are not fapping desperately away to these role plays. They are seeking a vent to try and patch together the broken pieces they don’t know how to fit back together. They may have forgotten to put trigger warnings in for pedophilia because it has engraved itself on their psyche and the thought that others do not think about it near-constantly or be bothered by the concept doesn’t factor in.
This mission, should you choose to accept it:
First inquire in ooc if they are a victim. If so, proceed.
Inquire if they are over the age of eighteen, for your own safety.
Establish that at any moment you are fine with the rp pausing, ending, or discussing how to make everything okay. Plot in a rescue that can happen at any moment.
Understand that the person you are talking to is broken in ways they might not even fully comprehend yet.
