♥

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[latenight3amthoughts]

Happy Birthday 

Hearing that you had to eat dinner alone broke my heart. Seriously. I was bawling behind the mic. 

Your birthday is the one special day a year that gets to be all about you! I am so sad that it wasn’t special, and it really sucks that I couldn’t do anything to make it better. 

As little as it was, I hope being on the phone was enough to not feel alone on your birthday

[latenight3amthoughts]

I’ll never love anyone as much as I love Fahad.

[latenight3amthoughts]

January 7th, 2014 - the first day he said “I love you”

January 7th, 2018 - the day my heart stopped beating.

[latenight3amthoughts]

When knowing someone inside and out is a bad thing...

I don’t know why being civil and having mutual respect was always such a big problem for you.. I was determined to help you with that, which is why I constantly fought for it - better communication - but you never met me halfway. Instead, I was overlooking things, compromising myself and my beliefs, just constantly taking the losses because you’re too damn stubborn.

Even now in our final days, you are starting stupid arguments, calling me names, and talking down to me. But I know you and I knew this was coming. It’s sad to say that I wasn't surprised.

Over 4 years of fighting for equality and respect. I never should have had to fight for it in the first place.

[latenight3amthoughts]

It hurts so bad.

[latenight3amthoughts]

You did lose everything, mi amor.

[latenight3amthoughts]

I am done.

[latenight3amthoughts]

I think I’ve maxed myself out for going out in crowded public places with you.

I get it, you know, we’re single and we’re free to do whatever we want… But out of respect for ME and our 4 year relationship, can you not check out every girl right in front of me ? Do you even know how many times you ignored me because you were too distracted looking at ass RIGHT in front of me ? Including 11 year olds ??

You don’t even try to hide it. You make it pretty fucking obvious that you’re doing it while I’m looking or talking to you. At least have some decency and don’t do it in front of my face, and at least listen to me when I’m talking to you. When you do this, it becomes so undesirable to hangout with you. If you want to disrespect me like that, then go do all these fun things with your other friends - not me.

The best part is that I can’t even talk about this like a NORMAL human being because as always, you will never see any faults in your actions even though I didn’t do anything wrong. Even though you feel you’re free to do whatever the hell you want without considering anyone else’s feelings. Even though you think you’re a flawless human being, when nobody is. 

At the end of the night, it was my shoulder you fell asleep on, it was me who you sat in silence with in the car instead of leaving, and it was me who you hugged tight at the end of the night so how about you don’t disrespect me like that otherwise I can’t and won't do these things with you anymore, and we can go back to sitting in a parking lot all day every day. I suggested to attend all these events and places to change scenery for us, but instead you just slapped me in the face.

I’m not telling you what to do or what not to do, but if that’s the case then count me out. Not on my watch, not on my dime.

[latenight3amthoughts]

I miss us, a lot.

[latenight3amthoughts]

Like clockwork. 

Every time he works night shifts, he becomes a complete different person. On day shifts and on his off days, he’s so nice, funny, and he’s a proper “friend” that isn’t inconsiderate or does rude things but on nightshifts ALL of that goes out the window and he becomes a dick or does really dick-ish things.

Frankly, I’m tired of it. 

[latenight3amthoughts]

All these years I’ve been fighting for you to be the good guy and to do the proper thing in any given situation...

But in the end, I realized you can’t force someone to be something they aren’t.

[latenight3amthoughts]

I used to thank God that we would never have to live apart. I used to thank God for bringing us together, forever.

Look at how much has changed in 1 year. In the last few months, even.

[latenight3amthoughts]

I've never been so disappointed by a single human being before in my life.

[latenight3amthoughts]

Sigh.

So much wasted time.

[abdu117-deactivated20170830]

Cause I’d rather fight with you than laugh with another

(via quotes117)

[americatoscotland]

I look at her and I see the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

(via americatoscotland)

@cantibemyself

(via phag-o-cyte)

[coral]

I love you,’ he whispered, and that was the moment he knew what he was going to do. When you loved someone, you put their needs before your own. No matter how inconceivable those needs were; no matter how fucked up; no matter how much it made you feel like you were ripping yourself into pieces.

Jodi Picoult (via feellng)