Hold on tight spider monkey🤪

24. Canadian.

[byjove]

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

[byjove]

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

[byjove]

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

[byjove]

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.

[byjove]

Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”

[rotationalsymmetry]

Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.

[fierceawakening]

Why would you hide this in the tags

[kyleblackpaw]

Visa and Mastercard are getting overwhelmed by gamer fury over censorship

Gamers are sending mass emails and phone calls to major payment processors in protest over Steam and Itchio pulling adult games from their s

do not let up the pressure

https://yellat.money/

[songsofwaterandnight]

No, app on my phone, I don't want to edit it with AI. I don't want to generate with AI. I don't want to ask the AI. I don't want to make AI wallpapers. I don't want to rewrite with AI. I don't want t-

[slavicafire]

far from prudish but just got blazed porn of someone's pussy spread out so hard and up close like it's a map of the polish-lithuanian commonwealth and I'm king and grand duke sigismund II augustus inspecting his lands to plot defense against the swedes

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

[rlyehtaxidermist]

the only reliable, effective way of "protecting children" is education. but people don't want to hear that because they don't actually care about protecting children, they care about protecting a mythologised ideal of innocence

[ducktollers]

u know besides the million other reasons i hate generative ai i also refuse to use it bc i dont trust anything being pushed on me this hard. why does every company desperately want me to get on the bandwagon. whats in it for you. whats in it for me. if ur pushing this shitass product into my life so intrusively u must have nefarious intentions. i dont trust anything being shilled like this

[arinzwormteef]

i think an easy solution to the whole "internet/credit card censorship bullshit to save children" is to 1) not give your 7 year old a phone and 2) not to give your 7 year old a credit card

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

extremely awkward event when the tornado warning came through and i had to take my whole family down into the gimp basement for safety. not an easy conversation even at a normal volume

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

do people think this is real. do people think that their 4th-favorite tgirl blogger just blew things up with her wife and kids because she IRL turned the tornado shelter beneath the midwestern home she owns (outright) into a dungeon where she keeps a dehumanized sex slave, without accounting for redundancy in upcoming disaster scenarios. do people think this really happened

[serenadeformice-deactivated2025]

i may have wildly misinterpreted what gimp basement means. i knew someone who did actually have to shelter their parents in their basement, which they were using for elaborate BDSM, during an emergency, and i thought this was a second time i was learning about someone doing that

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

POST CANCELED CONDOLENCES TO YOUR FRIEND WHOSE REAL EXPERIENCE THIS WAS

[the-real-seebs]

honestly, while i hate adobe's ever more predatory licensing as much as the next person, i do feel like a dedicated GIMP basement is maybe a bit much.

[all-hail-the-antler-king]

Like to charge reblog to cast

[willgrahamscock]

“I would die for my kids” your children want an apology

[willgrahamscock]

your made up scenario isn’t real (shocker) and makes no difference when your kids are starving for your acknowledgment of the pain you caused them. you’re only performing the role of a good parent, without having to actually do any heavy lifting

[ingydars]

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

[manisthebastard]

for a second i thought you meant foundation like, a building foundation. not makeup

[cognitohazardous]

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth are building something great and terrible on the edge of town

[thedeafprophet]

omfg i went snooping and yalll. im.

i think that caitvi kinktober thing shifted to a new blog name. calling it nsfw month now

and im looking at the rules and this change and im CACKLING

THEY LITERALLY TOOK THE KINK OUT OF KINKTOBER AKFKFGKGKHK

moved it to november. this is so fuckin funny to me

[duskyfall]

[hellenhighwater]

Sometimes the technology conspires against me to make me sound crazy in my text messages.

[hellenhighwater]

Horrible government operatives

[lesvegas]

environmental storytelling

[mortalityplays]

always complain about things. okay, you know how programmers explain their code to rubber ducks when it's not working? same principle. an appliance breaks down. I get pissed off, try everything, go through the various stages of despair etc. I complain about it to a friend and explain why it frustrates me so bad, and suddenly I'm thinking 'wait I should try unplugging it and then doing a factory reset and then—' and I go home and do that and it starts working again. I keep losing my earrings. I complain about it to a friend, about how I keep them all in a little dish but then the specific one I want always dematerialises the moment I want it. my friend says 'I just keep them on the little card backs they came with' and I think well shit, I always throw those out. but then I think aha I can make a bunch of pinholes in a decorative postcard. genius. I read a story. it's about something I'm usually into, but for some reason I don't like this story at all. I complain about it, I figure out what irritates me about it, I have a great idea for a way better story. I try a new recipe, it doesn't come together. I bitch about it like crazy, about what I thought I did right and how it failed, and before I know it I'm explaining out loud which parts I'm inexperienced at or didn't understand or adjusted wrong. I need a little table for drawing on. I complain about it in the group chat, two days later someone says 'hey I spotted the kind of table you're looking for on the side of the road, do you want to come pick it up'. I complain, endlessly. my life is enriched. the art of complaining.

[seven-winged-liar]

the whole 'nobody would miss me if i were gone' line of reasoning is so completely and mindblowingly false, it's almost laughable if you take a couple steps back. there's a lady at work who has been there for maybe two or three weeks and has only talked to me a handful of times, ask where the necklace i usually wear went. another person asked where i was cause i wasn't scheduled for about a week. i regularly think of friends who have deactivated their accounts or who i've lost contact with and what id tell them. i still think about people i haven't talked to for years even though i didn't know them well. people still think about you even if you're a passing specter on the street. and that's not even holding a candle to how much the people who are personally involved in your life care. people do notice and care. all the time. it might be hard to see it or remember it but people do care. ily.

[mayothompson]

there’s something so desperately miserable about the lyric “buy me some peanuts and cracker jack / i don’t care if i never come back”