“your convictions won’t fail you”.
It was a good sunny afternoon and I was taking my sweet, sweet time in the shower. All freshened up, I grabbed my phone to look at the notifications from the class group chat.
“The Sheets link for the speech is now available.”
My eyes widened as the trickle of cold water from my newly washed hair started to fuse with cold sweat. With a glimmer of hope, I opened the Sheets link, and I was greeted by a file with the headings "Day 1" and "Day 2."
Of course, the Day 2 slots were all filled.
I just took a long heavy sigh and typed my name under Day 1 in a spot that seemed best. Hello, performer #4. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s affirming myself. Although at that moment, there was a thin line between affirming and coping. Hahahaha. But deep within, I meant it. I said all the good things I could think of and tried to trust what I read, what I felt, and what I learned. “Your convictions won’t fail you”, I reassured myself.
Everyday is a good day to be controversial.
I tried writing about topics that I was sure had many information available online, topics that are *too* controversial, and even topics suggested by other people. But in the end, I still chose the first topic/theme that came to mind. I chose it because I knew I could write it best, regardless of the information available or if it was controversial. I chose the theme of “women are more than mothers”. It was inspired by one of the roles in The Giver called “Birthmothers”, since I was reminded of how women, until today, are still expected to birth children as if that is our only purpose in the world. It became a limiting label just as how the role “Birthmothers” wasn’t frowned upon in the novel even though they were the ones keeping the community alive.
The days leading up to the performance day were stressful. We were all busy getting ready for different performances in other courses too. Nevertheless, despite how difficult it was to find papers, articles, etc. regarding my chosen theme, I made every effort to anchor my speech in reality. While writing, I realized that I had a lot to say that keeping it within 5 minutes became the bigger struggle. But in the end, I was so pleased with how everything turned out that I was eager to share it with everyone.
I was riding the bus on the way to school and making last minute revisions on my speech. I didn’t want to stress too much about the time limit while performing so I tried to condense it without compromising the message, of course. For some unknown reason, it didn’t feel like my heart was about to jump out of my chest like it normally would before I did performances. “Is the PNUan blood finally flowing in me?” I thought.
After the performance, I felt good about myself. There were some stutters here and there, but I knew I got my message across just as I had intended it. All the other Day 1 performers did great, too. From the costumes, singing, and variety, I could definitely see we all did our best. But the best thing that happened to me was when Prof. Erly stated that my speech stood out. My??? Speech??? After all that stress and preparation, Prof. Erly validating me was the best reward possible.
Everything that led up to it was memorable. I had the joy of picking up a novel again and it was one that I truly liked. I learned new things about myself and the world, which only Literature can quite possibly accomplish.
kaledo-art
origamiaround
baratheonpilled
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
areudirty
theartofmadeline
romaincrisis